Get Over it Dan

Dan's obsession with Manny continues. Dan's obsession with ARod continues. Dan's self-plagiarism continues. Dan's twisted logic continues. And we get all of this in one neat little package.

Dan writes about Manny's signing and ARod's hip.

The Manny part is very similar to an article that he wrote last October when his obsession was in full gear. In October, he wrote

Wow. Unhappy for eight whole years. While the Sox were winning the World Series and fans were worshiping at Manny's feet, he was unhappy. He must have been unhappy when you stood and applauded while he ran onto the field carrying that American flag on the day he became a US citizen. He must have been miserable riding in the duck boat, seeing the hand-held signs of fans who lined the parade route.

Today he writes:

There you go, Sox fans. Manny was suffering while you were cheering for him. He was suffering when the Sox paid him $160 million. It must have been hell, making all that cake, hearing the applause, and seeing little kids and big dads wearing his No. 24 Sox jersey. I guess we'll never know how hard it was to win two World Series, playing in front of baseball's best fans in baseball's best ballpark.

Look I think we all find it hard to believe that someone could be unhappy with all the money and fame and Shaughnessy hammers this home (again and again and again). But ever think that there may be a sincere sentiment there? I honestly dont think Manny ever understood or appreciated the passion of Red Sox fans and he just wasnt comfortable with it. Is that too difficult to comprehend? Get over it, Dan

Then there is this gem

These monstrous issues have two common denominators: Scott Boras and the Red Sox. Boras represents both superstars. And no matter what happens in Baseball America, it's always about the Red Sox.

What? Shaughnessy's tortured logic against puts Boston at the center of everything.I just dont get it. How is ARod's hip all about the Red Sox? How is Manny signing in LA all about the Red Sox? Get over it Dan

Enough of this Crap

Shaughnessy is apparently in Florida covering the Red Sox but the Globe sports department felt the Cassel trade was a big enough story that we just absolutely needed to hear from the CHB on this one.  The result is an utter piece of meandering crap.  What the hell is Shaughnessy talking about?

He starts off with some notion that there is blind allegiance to Bill Belichick.  What?  The coach has won three Super Bowls and his decisions have turned out to be on target more often than not.  So is it really that absurd to conclude that "His Hoodiness" has built up some immunity and good will?  Even Shaughnessy admits that he was calling for Cassel to be cut at the end of preseason...Belichick turned out to make a pretty good decision by sticking with him, didn't he?  Belichick has certainly earned some benefit of the of the doubt over the years although that should not be confused with "blind allegiance" and the insipid attack at the beginning of today's column.

That being said, Shaughnessy has every right to examine and question the merits of this trade as (unfortunately for us) that is his job.   But he can't seem to make a coherent, consistent point.  He starts off with this blind allegiance b.s. but then drifts to this statement "Intellectually and strategically, this deals makes sense"  But then in the very next paragraph, he goes back on the trade and says it could be the football equivalent of Varitek and Lowe for Slocumb.  Yet, then he goes back to the idea that the Patriots have always been ruled by what makes sense on the field--no place for emotion.  (Isn't that the way a good business is supposed to be run?)  Yet, later he says "saying goodbye to Cassel is particularly risky."  Wait, what?  I guess no matter how this turns out for the Patriots, Shaughnessy can look back to this little gem of a column and say "I told you so."

Shaughnessy concludes with the biggest head scratcher of them all by suggesting that Bill Parcells is somehow behind the scenes on this one by virtue of the fact that he is the father in law of Pioli?  ("There is a smell of tuna in the air.") Shaughnessy, what the hell are you talking about?  Parcells has been Pioli's father in law for years...are you suggesting that Pioli has been working to undermine the Patriots for all these years? Or now that he is free of the clutches of Belichick that he is going to suddenly conspire with Parcells to screw the Patriots?  And exactly how are they going to conspire to do this?  It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.  There is a smell of crap in the air and it's emanating from our self-plagiarizing, lazy, incoherent front page columnist.

I am done with this

It gets tiring sticking the same old pinata.

Scott's Shot's has a post on Shaughnessy mad lib/self plagiarism regarding the annual Red Sox games against local college teams.

One last thought:

Through a friend of mine who has two brothers overseas, I found this local group that provides care packages for servicemen and servicewomen.

Special Kindness In Packages, Inc.

I know that the people who run the program bust their asses out of a strong sense of dedication and the servicemen and women are very grateful. Maybe you can help with a t-shirt or something else.

There is a new sheriff in town

Dan takes a look at the Tampa Bay Rays and their emergence as one of the AL East superpowers alongside the Yankees and Red Sox.  He says they look as good (if not better)  than last year and Dan offers us a few flashbacks to last year's Sox - Rays ALCS tilt.  Dan plays it straight.

Rocco and Dan O

Dan writes about one of the newest Red Sox, local boy and fan-favorite-in-waiting, Rocco Baldelli. Dan completes the checklist with references to his personal faves, Manny, Nomar, and JD Drew.

A Counterpoint to Dan's Curse Nonsense

Here is a book I have not read except for the excerpt in the link. "It Was Never About the Babe", subtitled "The Red Sox, Racism, Mismanagement and the Curse of the Bambino", is an attempt to see the history of the Red Sox as not the product of mystical powers but the product of deeply embedded racism.

A key article in debunking the curse is Glenn Stout's "A 'Curse' Born of Hate."

Leigh Montville's "The Big Bam" partially counters some of the issues raised by Stout. You can check out the whole mess on the 'Curse of the Bambino' wikipedia page.

Bye-Bye

Dan Shaughnessy: Baseball Genius

One could argue that Drew is a drag on the Red Sox offense. He is productive enough to stay in the lineup, but he doesn't hit a lot of home runs and he misses a month or more every year. With a lineup suddenly wanting for power (no Manny Ramírez, and David Ortiz in apparent decline), Drew would seem to be clogging up the middle.

And "One" would be incredibly wrong.

More on Shaughnessy's Plagiarism

I wanted to follow-up on my morning's post about Shaughnessy's self-plagiarism.  I think it is bad and I think it is worthy of his suspension.   I was able to find 8 items in today's column that were also pretty much written up in the same way in his book Spring Training co-written with Grossfeld.

Here are the quotes from today's column:

"Spring training is where Ted Williams and Carl Yastrzemski played a steel-cage tennis match at the Winter Haven Ramada Inn in 1979."

"Spring training is where I saw a Montreal left fielder crash into a fence in Winter Haven chasing a fly ball. Back in 1976. The kid was out cold for a spell. Fans applauded when he finally got to his feet. He wound up spending most of his career behind the plate. Gary Carter. Hall of Famer."

"Spring training is where Twins owner Calvin Griffith stood on the balcony of his Orlando condo and stared blankly into a sky filled with wreckage from the Challenger spacecraft in 1986"

"It's where the local newspaper published the titles of overdue videos (all pornos) rented by Boyd. The Maniacal Chuck Waseleski dubbed it "the Can's Film Festival."

"Spring training is where … Bill Clinton spoke with Wade Boggs outside the visitor's dugout in Kissimmee in 1992."

"It's where Boggs announced, "I'm the white Irving Fryar," after tumbling out of the family jeep when his wife wheeled out of Christy's Restaurant in Winter Haven in 1992."

"Spring training is where a 5-foot-8-inch Orioles catcher named Dave Criscione caught three foul pops in a single inning against the Braves in West Palm Beach in 1978. Anybody ever see that, at any level? Criscione played only seven big league games."

"It's where Bill Lee told baseball writers of the Sox' acquisition of Dennis Eckersley in a six-player blockbuster in 1978, screaming, "Send lawyers, guns, and money, the [expletive] has hit the fan!" Eck wound up in Cooperstown."

Now from his 2003, Spring Training book

”It’s where Ted Williams and Carl Yastrzemski played tennis against each other at a Winter Haven Ramada Inn in 1979.”

"I remember sitting with young Globe Scribe Peter Gammons watching a young Montreal outfielder named Gary Carter slam into a fence in Winter Haven"

"It’s where Calvin Griffith stood on the balcony of his Orlando condo and stared blankly into the sky at the wreckage of the Challenger spacecraft"

"Spring training is where silly stories can become big news.  In the spring of 1987, the Winter Haven police came into the Red Sox clubhouse to inform pitcher Oil Can Boyd of some video rentals that were overdue.  Naturally, the local newspaper unearthed Oil Can’s play list and the titles were predictably ribald…Western Massachusetts statistical wizard Chuck Waseleski dubbed the event “the Can’s Film Festival”"

"It’s where Bill Clinton spoke with Wade Boggs outside he dugout at the Astros complex in Kissimmee Florida during the early stages of the 1992 campaign."

"In 1992, Boston’s final spring training in Winter Haven, Boggs and his wife Debbie dined at Christy’s and somehow Wade fell from the family jeep when Debbied wheeled out of the parking lot.  Wade wasn’t seriously hurt but the back wheel of the jeep ran over his elbow; the next day the batting champ showed off scars from the steel-belted radial and announced, "I'm the white Irving Fryar!"

"I remember one night when we marveled at the exploits of an Oriole catcher in West Palm Beach earlier that day.  Dave Croscione was a backup backstop who stood 5 foot 8 and played only seven games in his major league career.  But against the Braves on that particular March afternoon, he’d caught three pop ups in a single inning"

"This was the same area where the Boston scribes gathered in the spring of 1978 waiting to learn if the Sox had pulled off a trade for young Cleveland ace Dennis Eckersley.  When word of a six-player megadeal was leaked to the dugout, Bill Lee ran toward the scribes in the right field pen and exclaimed “Send lawyers, guns and money.  The shit has hit the fan.”

***********

Bill Lee's last quote could apply to Dan Shaughnessy and his current situation.

Hope I am not the only one who believes this is a serious breach of journalistic integrity?

Shaughnessy, The Self-Plagiarist

Dan has arrived in Florida and uses his first day as a springboard for a walk down memory lane of memorable spring trainings past.  I tend to like his sentimental journeys and this one is not too bad.  Unfortunately, Shaughnessy plagizarizes much of this fine work from his 2003 book Spring Training co-written with Stan Grossfeld.

- His "Spring training is where.." convention is used in the same fashion in both pieces

-  the story about Calvin Griffith is in both places

-  The story about Dennis Boyd is in both places

-  The story about Wade Boggs and Bill Clinton is in both places

-  The story about Wade Boggs commenting about being the white Irving Fryar is in both places

-  The story about Gary Carter is in both places

- (Edit: 828 AM: The Story about Yaz and Ted Williams and their tennis match is also in both places)

There is no credit in today's Globe column given to the Spring Training book.

 Shaughnessy, thanks again for proving yet again that you just mail it in these days.  I wonder if he gets in trouble for this?

More A-Rod

Have at it. I cannot stand the issue anymore. It's mainly a way for sanctimonious twats to act in high dudgeon. For Dan, this includes taking shots at Patriot fans.

He Can't Really Believe This Stuff

Dan has Boston College upsetting Duke last night.

I don't follow college basketball (although I do root for Duke), but even I can spot some of the whoppers Dan throws out today.

First, the win isn't as big as Dan wants you to believe. Duke sucks.

Then there is this gem:

Rice is in some pretty good company. The only other two-grand men in BC hoops lore are Troy Bell, Craig Smith, Dana Barros, Billy Curley, Jared Dudley, and Danya Abrams.

Rice has quite the NBA career ahead of him.

Maybe you would like these nuggets:

But no one could remember a Conte Forum moment like this one.

Beating Duke brings out the bandwagon in Boston, but the Eagles don't like to be asked if this means they can play with any team in the country.

In the last five years or so, the Eagles have won the ACC regular season title, been ranked #3, and have had a nice run to the Sweet Sixteen. Less than two months ago, the team handed the #1 team in the nation its first loss. This game, against a Duke team that was drubbed at home by UNC, is somehow the start of the BC bandwagon? Sure, if you say so Shank.

Multi Media Dan

Dan appeared on Dan Patrick's radio show/podcast to discuss Alex Rodriguez. I haven't listened, but the recap isn't very interesting. Mostly a rehash of his Wednesday column.

Via Deadspin

Dan's Not Having Any Fun

Dan writes about how voting for the Hall of Fame has become a burden.

This would have been better if Dan had made the issue less about himself and his fellow voters and more about the fans because what he is feeling is similar to what fans are going through as they try to make sense of the mess.

A Little Bit of Reality

Dan has a good piece on the Alex Rodriguez fiasco, offering a calm look at the circumstances. Rodriguez wasn't alone and he owned up to it. Yes, it was after being caught, but as Dan points out, who among us would have admitted to something without being caught?

A Look at the Suprising Star

Dan writes about the important role of Concord, N.H. native Matt Bonner.

It has some mildly interesting stuff, most of which can be found on Bonner's wikipedia page. But the column really misses out in capturing the excitement of yesterday's game, especially the fourth quarter.

And then you have passages like this:

Bonner was valedictorian of his senior class at Concord High School. He starred at the University of Florida before playing a year in the Italian A1 League. In 2004 he broke into the NBA with the Raptors, where he was famous for riding Toronto's public transit system. He found another way to save money by pocketing per diem and eating at Subway.

Bonner claims to have eaten more Subway food than Jared. What's not to like about a guy like that?

Bonner played two seasons with the Raptors before he was traded to San Antonio. He entered yesterday averaging just 8.0 points per game, but was hitting 52.2 percent of his shots, 48.9 percent on threes. Now he's raining long-range missiles on the heads of the Celtics. Three of Bonner's points came when he banked a shot-clock-beating trey from out top in the third quarter.

That reads like a fifth grader's bad "What I Did on My Summer Vacation" report.

It Must Be Tiring

Dan goes three days in a row and it is clear that he is wiped out. Dan previews tonight's big matchup between the Celtics and Lakers. Not much there, just a few obvious observations (Did you know the Celtics lost to the Lakers on Christmas, which was the start of a 2-7 skid?); a patented Dan space filler, using long quotations; and a 20 year old anecdote to end things.

Will Wonders Never Cease?

My dislike for Dan's "Picked Up Pieces" columns is obvious. Today's effort was, to say the least, a surprise.

It is not just a list of things that have been in the news over the past few weeks with a little bit of commentary. There are semi-interesting things I haven't hears about and some actual analysis of recent events. There are some bombs, but they do not overwhelm like they usually do.

Good, but still not Bob Ryan.

Thank God There Was a Good Game

Dan has a recap of last night's thrilling BU-Harvard Beanpot semifinal.

It's a good look at underdog Harvard's push to tie the game in the final seconds after giving up a 2-0 lead, filled in with some context and interesting anecdotes.

This phrase struck me as odd:

That's why it was such a surprise when the Johnnies led, 2-0,

I had to look up the Johnnies reference. I found two: A Michael Medved column from June; and an excerpt from the 1952 Yale yearbook.

Northeastern and the Beanpot

(I have had a bad track record lately--keep missing these Dan columns. My regrets)

Dan's piece yesterday focused on the Northeastern hockey team and how they can top off a stellar season by winning the Beanpot. He discusses how Northeastern is the team on the local scene that gets no respect and even though they are ranked #4 in the country this season, they would dearly love a Beanpot win to answer any lingering questions of how far they have come aand how good they are.

The one strange bit comes in the first paragraph...Shaughnessy compares Northeastern to Ringo Starr (ok - fair enough - but I think Shaughnessy has used that more than once and it is a little dated now) and then to Teddy Roosevelt on Rushmore (since all the other guys have monuments). Hey Dan, Teddy has his own island in DC (http://www.nps.gov/this/) and he is featured in some great recent movies (Night At the Museum and its upcoming sequel). Not too bad for ole Teddy :)

It's a solid piece but anything would be better than the Brady crap from the other day (For those people who said the Brady piece was satire, can you fill me in on what actually Shaughnessy was satirizing?)

Pathetic

Dan has a meaningless column that offers nothing except the silliest notions of sports talk radio callers.

I guess when you are as bankrupt of ideas as Shank is, anything will do.

A Look at Ray Allen

Dan takes the occasion of a Celtics' blowout to focus on Ray Allen, who scored 23 yesterday, 20 by halftime.

Dan starts with an interesting anecdote from Ray Allen's childhood and goes on to describe the game while discussing Ray Allen's improved season.

Varitek and Other Things

Totally missed this piece...thanks DBVader for mentioning it. Shaughnessy writes about Jason Varitek: Varitek needs a job; the Sox need a catcher and therefore they need to work this out. (Despite the bad blood with Boras). Actually, a decent piece though I take issue with this sentence:

Reward him for past contributions. Put together a deal that makes it look like something less than capitulation.

The whole "reward him" thing...first, Varitek has been paid handsomely enough already, has he not? Second, this is coming from Shaughnessy who has bitched and moaned about Schiling's contract from last year...a contract which I personally think had a "reward him for past contributions" aspect to it.

Totally different topic. I am reading the book "Juicing the Game" by Howard Bryant. He references a 1990's CHB special in which Shaughnessy declared that there was no relationship between steroids/performance enhancing drug use and a baseball player's performance. Shaughnessy was writing just after McGwire got caught by a reporter for having andro in his locker. Shaughnessy wrote

It's no wonder players loathe the media. In McGwire's case, it is misleading to write that he's using a performance enhancing drug. He's a baseball player, not an Olympic sprinter. There's nothing sold at drugstores that would help any of us hit a home run in the big leagues (unless that store has a book on hitting written by Ted Williams.) Facing Randy Johnson and hitting a ball over the fence requires bravery, timing, hand-eye coordination, reflexes, leverage, and strength. Most of all, it requires practice."

Sure, I admit it's very easy for me to criticize Shaughnessy with 20/20 hindsight. But I still would argue that this was lazy and shallow analysis, which is all too typical of Shank

Picking Up Sides Has Never Been So Difficult

So, who are you pulling for?

Dan Shaughnessy in all his laziness?

Or the new, Curt Schilling-infused WEEI?

I cannot root for either, unfortunately.

This Will Be Interesting

Dan on President Obama's love of basketball. I don't see how this would set off the readers of this site.

Dan Back to His Roots

In a head scratcher, The Globe sent Dan Shaughnessy to Phoenix to cover the NFC Championship game. Christopher Gasper busted his hump all season and gets to read Dan. Life is unfair.

And the game piece sucks. Dan uses the first two-hundred words of the article to give the history of the Cardinals and tweak Patriots fans. It took only fifty words before Dan mentioned the Super Bowl XLII.

But what about the notes column, you ask. It sucked too. Unless you consider this nugget as something that adds something to your enjoyment and understanding of football:

Donovan McNabb had an easy commute after the game. McNabb owns a home in Phoenix

And Dan even manages another Super Bowl XLII mention.

Isn't It Ironic?

I loathe Dan Shaughnessy. Okay, he represents the face of Boston Red Sox for the rest of America. He "invented" the Curse of the Bambino. He is a local kid who grew up in Mass and went to Holy Cross and has labored for the Boston Globe for more than 20 years. Still, I can't forgive him for the drivel he writes day in and day out for the Boston Globe...It is a disgrace.

How ironic it is that once again Shaughnessy (the poster child for "mailing it in") attempts to take the higher ground as he rips the Arizona Cardinals for their performance against the Patriots in December? And how ironic it is that Shaughnessy is rewarded with a trip to a warm climate when his company is a sinking ship? (Exactly why did he need to be in Arizona to write this particular piece?)

As a disclaimer, I thought Arizona's performance against the Patriots was a joke as well...but to use that as a springboard for an all-out attack like this is over-the-top. The Cardinals did what they had to do to get the playoffs. If they were such a joke, they would not be in the NFC Championship game - more power to them.

You Knew It Was Coming

Dan's view on Jim Rice and the counterarguments have been well hashed out on this site and others. Yesterday was a day for Dan to celebrate. And he managed a good column, capturing some of the factors at work and giving a little bit of color to Rice's career.

But he couldn't resist this one shot:

there was a backlash among new-age, basement-dwelling number crunchers who found flaws in Rice's résumé (always borderline by Cooperstown's lofty standards).

Two points:
1) If Rice's case for the Hall is borderline, then criticism of his career is legitimate, not the result of misguided stats geeks.

2) Rob Neyer doesn't need me to defend him, but I have to say this: Rob watches more baseball in a season than Dan has in the last 10 years. Rob has forgotten more baseball history than Dan remembers. To dismiss him out of hand is insulting and a sign of Dan's blissful ignorance of all things new.

Real Simple

Dan's Celtics column in three easy steps:

1) Things are going bad - insert clever remarks about losing to the Lakers, Knicks, and Bobcats.

2) There are many theories as to why things are going bad - insert a bunch of quotations; list the many theories, never offer a solid opinion on any of them.

3) Things will get better - Don't try to explain, just simply conclude the Celtics will do better:

He means it. Fans and media might be a tad nervous, but the guys in the locker room are not worried. They've got a ton of experience and they've got a ring and they know how to fight through the NBA's midwinter blues.

Ignorance Fuels Indignation

Dan starts today's column with a question:

Precisely when did a contract become a one-way deal?

And the answer is pretty simple. When it's an employment contract. Because of that whole no slavery or involuntary servitude thing in the United States, people cannot be forced to work under a contract if they don't want to. Yet the employer is always on the hook for the money if it wants to get rid of an employee under contract without just cause. Them's the breaks.

It's obvious who the focus of the column is going to be, but Dan cannot get to things before getting a few lashes in on Manny Ramirez and Curt Schilling, the latter who had the gall to get injured after signing a contract.

Dan goes on to spout off, blithely ignorant of both the facts and the law. Coaches skip out on contracts all the time. When a head coach opening comes around they cannot wait until the end of their contract to take it because someone else will. It's the nature of the system. And do you know what? Everybody knows it; the players, the coaches, the athletic directors.

And do you know what else? A smart AD can do something about it. When Rich Rodriguez left West Virginia for Michigan, he had to pay WVU something like $4 million to break his contract. That's what smart people do, they negotiate the terms of the contract in order to protect themselves. Dumb people rely on a handshake and looking somebody in the eye

Dan has all the other BC talking points that the media has picked up: "But Jags promised" (Look up the parol evidence rule, Dan); "he has no shot at the job"; and "it was more about not telling DeFilippo." These scattershot arguments belie their validity.

Finally, who cares? It's BC and the coach took decent teams to the conference championship in a weak league and promptly got smoked.

Wrestling with the CHB

Another year, another CHB column extolling the Hall virtues of NESN "analyst" and erstwhile Red Sox leftfielder Jim Rice.

This is followed by two extraordinary takedowns, one by EPSN's Rob Neyer and another by Patrick Sullivan at Baseball Analysts.

Some highlights:

From Sullivan: "[S]ticking to his guns in the face of well reasoned dissent, Shaughnessy simply asserts 'Guess you had to be there,' a statement so bankrupt, so lacking in creativity or thought that [Bill] James was able to respond to it 23 years earlier."

From Neyer: "If you do read that Rice was "feared" and you don't read anything (substantive) about his defense or the significant advantage he gained from playing half his games in Fenway Park, then what you're reading is not serious. What you're reading is propaganda."

Enjoy, and Happy New Year!

Boston has a pro hockey team?

Dan heard through the grapevine that the Bruins are doing well so he thought it might be a good idea to get back to the Garden, Joni Mitchell references in hand. (The song was written by Mitchell but sung by CSN&Y). What a week…Jethro Tull followed by Joni Mitchell. Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison must be pining for some Shank love. He ups his hipness quotient however with a Five for Fighting reference.

It is quite a statement that we are this far into the season before the Shank took notice of the Bruins' success. Must be too busy sucking money from the Globe’s travel accounts traveling with the Patriots. In a part game recap/part reflection of the glory days of the early 1970s, Dan looks at last night Bruins' game. For those of you who only follow the Red Sox, he compares Vesa Toskala stint in goal last night to a Time Wakefield start. Gee, thanks Dan. It is amazing that he was able to get through the column without comparing Julien to Belichick. I wonder if Julien ever utters the phrase “C’est que c’est”?

Lazy, Thy Name is Dan Shaughnessy

Dan must read Deadspin, or any other number of websites that aggregate sports news. When will he learn that his picked up pieces bit is a dinosaur in the internet age.

If he's not mentioning something that has been all over the internet, he is writing drivel like this:

Nice day for Newton North basketball alums last Saturday. Corey Lowe (now a 1,000-point scorer) went for 19 in Boston University's narrow loss to 12th-ranked Notre Dame, while Anthony Gurley played 27 minutes and scored 5 points in UMass's upset of defending national champion Kansas. Lex Mongo is also on the UMass roster. Lowe, Gurley, and Mongo were teammates on the North squad that won back-to-back state championships (53-1) in 2005 and '06...

Word games: The Patriots have Jarvis Green, and BenJarvus Green-Ellis. The Bruins sometimes have Johnny Boychuk. Boychuk's last name is an anagram for Oh Bucyk. So, he's Johnny Oh Bucyk.

EDIT: And I forgot the unwarranted attack on Bob Kraft:

Patriots in London next October? New England in Olde England? What a ghastly idea. Wonder if Oxford has a lightweight football team.

Annotated Dan Shaughnessy

Just in case you are under the age of 45, this is what the cover of Aqualung looks like:



Nothing connects better with readers than references to almost 40 year old album covers.

Cassel, Father and Sons

Dan writes that Matt Cassel will be playing with a heavy heart today, just a few days after the death of his father. It is a sentimental piece that talks about the relationship between fathers and sons. On one level, it is the type of writing that Dan typically excels at. When Dan put aways his petty jealousies of professional athletes and focuses on the human dimension and what he refers to as the "universal truths", he writes well and dare I say sometimes compelling fare? (I am one in the minority who really enjoyed Shaughnessy's book about his own relationship with his son)...so you would figure I would love today's column...buy you would be wrong.

What do I found so problematic? To use a sports analogy, Dan is guilty of forcing the ball into triple coverage. Dan relies heavily on Bob Hohler's story about Cassel's father's history to provide a backdrop of the interesting life Cassel's father lived. Then Dan launches into an idealized portrait of the relationship between fathers and sons, intimating that this Rockwellian bond existed between Cassel and his Dad. It's a great way to think about it but we just don't know if that bond existed...as Shaughnessy himself leads the column, "We don't really know Matt Cassel."

There is no doubt that a strong bond likely existed between father and son but we don't know to what extent...there are so many extenuating circumstances and questions...why was the Dad living in a trouble in what seems almost like a pauper's existence--was he too proud to accept help from his kids? Did the kids offer to help? We don't know. And Shaughnessy doesn't know that either but that doesn't stop him from talking about trips to Dairy Queen and playing Nerf football with the kids.

In contrast, when Belichick's father died, the relationship with his Dad was very well chronicled and you had a strong sense of bond between father and son. In Cassel's case, the picture is just not complete. Shaughnessy tries to complete it ...and he may have hit it right on but again, he may have been totally off. And think I it is irresponsible for him to paint this idealized picture without knowing more, no matter how touching the piece may come across.

Call me a scrooge and call me a cynic but I think this column reflects Shaughnessy's laziness...a touching piece on one level but problematic on many others because "We don't really know Matt Cassel."

Dan Hates People Who Use Numbers

Dan Shaughnessy has his annual appeal for Jim Rice in the Hall of Fame. It was the same last year.

And I have the same opinion.

Rice had a few great years in a career that was short in comparison to the greats. His greatness in no way approaches the greatness of Koufax, which sent him into the Hall.

Dan recaps yesterday game, putting it in perspective of the whole season.

Good effort, although the snide attacks on Belichick almost overwhelm it.

Seattle Sucks

After a string of happy columns about the prosperity of local Boston teams and players, Dan taps the Globe's travel accounts to go all the way to Seattle to tell us that the situation in Seattle stinks. From NFL football to NBA basketball (no more) to college football to MLB baseball, Seattle fans have it rough.

Whenever Dan writes about Seattle, he can't resist Sleepless in Seattle references (you could look it up). Dan also gives us references to Starbucks, grunge, and Fraser Crane. Dan is a pretty hip feller. Unfortunately, he can't even take credit for the best line in the column:

"It's so bad around here that people turn from sports to financial pages to cheer up," wrote Art Thiel, the estimable Seattle Post-Intelligencer columnist.

At least he was smart enough to throw it in there...

BC Oranges

Dan tells us that the Boston College football team will advance to the Orange Bowl if they beat Virginia Tech in the ACC Championship Game and that would be pretty nifty and rare for a New England area college football team.

As a writer, Dan has become so masterful in setting the bar so low that when he writes something that is not over-the-top incendiary, he has quite often lulled me into occasionally concluding “Well, that was not such a bad piece.” No more. This piece was relatively innocuous (as many of his pieces have been lately – the rare times when he actually seems to write) but it was also relatively bad.

First, let’s bring in the tired Belichick reference:

“They are trained in Belichickian ways and we know it's a mistake to look past your next game.”

First of all, is Belichick a consultant for the BC football team? (That would be big news) And why is focusing solely on the next game and refusing to talk about the implications of a win or loss “Belichickian.” Come on…this is one of the oldest clichés in the athletes’ book. What’s funny is that Shaughnessy closes the piece with a quote from one of the players:

"Every young player in high school - they want to go to a BCS bowl. We were close last year. We want to get there this year."

I guess this kid missed the Belichick lecture series?

Two other complaints

- Is this an article about BC getting to the Orange Bowl? Or is it a piece about the history of New England colleges getting into major bowl games? Shaughnessy wanders aimlessly between the two themes. It's a writer's laziness feeding a lack of writing coherence.

- Speaking of meandering. How about this paragraph?

All they have to do is beat a team they've already handled this season. The Eagles defeated Virginia Tech, 28-23, at Chestnut Hill in mid-October, despite turning the ball over five times. Now the Eagles go at the Hokies with a novice quarterback (redshirt sophomore Dominique Davis will be making his second start
in place of the injured Chris Crane) and a top-10 defense (three shutouts) led by junior linebacker Mark Herzlich, the ACC defensive player of the year.

Very odd paragraph when you think about it, esp the part about the novice quarterback. The tone of the paragraph is that this is going to be easy –“All they have to do” sets that tone. He talks about the defense being phenomenal but he strangely packages this around the fact that the team is missing their starting quarterback and replacing him with a guy who has one previous start….as if to imply this is a good thing?

It’s poor writing, pure and simple.

Dan's Latest Prediction

It's that the Celtics are even better this year. Their opponents had their chances last year in a few playoff close calls, but that has only made them a harder team to beat.

I think he may be ripping off bits:

He combines the talent of Russell (Bill, not Jeff) with the work ethic of Rudy (Ruettiger, not LaRusso).

A Good Piece

Dan has something special before Thanksgiving.

Recap Correct!

Dan has Matt Cassel becoming something else for the Patriots' offense. A solid look at his second great game in a row.

Unfortunately, it is littered with phrases that reveal Dan just trying too hard. There is a use of "the immortal" tag ("the immortal Billy Volek") that Dan has beaten to death. Dated song references ("The Patriots have been on a "Stayin' Alive Tour"; "Certainly the blossoming of Cassel is another brick in the wall of genius"). And just plain odd phrasing ("We're still seeing a lot of D and D"; "Early in the season, Cassel was unable to tap into the Moss Vault").

KISS, Dan. KISS.

Dan's Mea Culpa

With Dustin Pedroia winning the AL MVP yesterday, Dan uses his space to eat some crow. Dan has to admit that he missed it, dismissing Pedroia before giving him much of a chance. But the second baseman has proven most everybody wrong (not me or, more importantly, Theo Epstein and Jason McLeod).

"Dustin Pedroia, MVP.

Doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, does it? It's sort of like the first time you heard "Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger" or "Academy Award winner Marisa Tomei.""

Or the first time I read "Dan Shaughnessy, award winning sports columnist."

Holy Cross, Batman

Dan takes a look at the legacy of sports programs at his alma mater, Holy Cross. This is prompted by today's ceremony in which HC finally raises the numbers of its 1950s star players to the rafters. He takes a look at some of these players like Cousy, Heinsohn, and Togo Palazzi. He also examines the tension at HC between the focus on academics and the focus on sports. Academics is king but there have been recent movements (such as today's ceremony) to at least recognize the rich legacy of the sports teams. It is a good read.

And Don't Forget to Tip Your Waiters

Dan is bringing the funny in a column about something not happening.

I know nothing about economics. I wouldn't know a hedge fund from a hedgehog. Until last week I thought venture capital was the name of the band that recorded the theme from "Hawaii Five-O".

He certainly proved the point by once again bringing up the misleading fact that Fenway Park has the highest ticket prices to imply that Red Sox fans are being unusually soaked by ownership. Fenway Park has the highest ticket prices because it is the smallest stadium in baseball. There are not thousands of $10 nosebleed seats like in Camden Yards or Cellular One to drive down demand and the average ticket price. If you compared Yankee Stadium to Fenway on a seat by seat basis, Yankee Stadium would be more expensive. Second level seats behind homeplate in the new Yankee Stadium are much more expensive than the top seat at Fenway.

Doing What Dan Does

Dan takes a look at one of the stars of yesterday's gameBenJarvus Green-Ellis. A nice flip through Green-Ellis's media guide page with touches of extra color.

Everybody's Favorite

Today Dan has an edition of every hack columnist's fallback, the picked up pieces column.

For what it is, it is a pretty decent effort. Not many dated or obvious statements. I don't see what point there is in knowing who Larry Bird was rooting for six months ago, except for Dan to remind us that he knows Larry. And he ends it with a shot at soccer.

Chicken **** Out of Chicken Salad

Dan manages to take a pretty good game and turn it into a snoozer of a column.

Dan starts off questioning some of the decisions of Belichick in last nights game. Legitimate questions, too. I was impressed, hoping Dan would delve into them and discuss the game.

Well, in this instance, hope is just some word politicians throw around. Dan asks the questions, but does not bother providing any context or explanation.

Instead, we are presented with passages like this one:

It was the Patriots' first game in the Colts' new building, which will be the home of the 2012 Super Bowl. Named after Forrest Lucas, a truck-driving man who founded one of the country's largest producers of automotive lubricants, Lucas Oil is well known on the NASCAR circuit. Stadium officials opened the retractable roof more than two hours before kickoff.

There were only seven offensive possessions in the first half, which ended with the Colts leading, 7-6.

I can see why Dan didn't want to leave that first paragraph on his MS Word clipboard.

The Thrill is Gone

Shaughnessy previews the Patriots-Colts match up for tonight and says the game lacks the thrill/ anticipation/build-up of previous match-ups between the teams. It is a fair enough article although Shaughnessy can't seem to let go some of his banal conventions.

Today we have: "Tonight we have the Bradyless Patriots against the sub.-500 Colts in Lucas Oil (Can Boyd) Stadium." This follows recent columns in which he has said things like, "He cried me a Doc Rivers." or how about, "Little doubt they'd be better off if they were sittin' by the dock of Tampa Bay."? Or this one, "Fenway, Big A, Jamaica Way, Blue Jay Way, Sittin'-on-the-dock-of-the-bay Way. " Or how about, "He was caught playing a little too deep (by the dock of the Bay)" All gems from the last month.

Dan, this is not funny! Stop it now! You are not Chris Berman! (And let's all be thankful the Patriots are not playing the Bucaneers this weekend.)

Pierce's Place

Dan discusses Paul Pierce's place in Celtics history now that Pierce has won an NBA championship with the team. A fair article all things considered (outside of the Cry me a Doc Rivers line) although it meanders a bit.

This must be reflective week for Dan as he steps back and ponders the legacies of folks like Pierce and Belichick. It makes one wonder though if this will be a long winter--there is really no one in the Boston sports landscape for him to take easy shots at now. We can only hope that Schilling decides to re-sign.

Dan Parachutes In

So, after nine months of passive-aggressive shots at Bill Belichick, Dan goes back to Foxboro for a press conference and to tell us how great Belichick is.

It's a bunch of quotations interspersed with Dan's comments about how Belichick isn't telling us what he is really thinking. Of course, none of these quotations have anything to do with the play on the field, just the general tripe that lazy sportswriters love to dwell on when they don't know what they are talking about.

And Dan sure proves that last point by dwelling on the height of the Patriots' defensive backfield. Note to Dan: Most every DB in the NFL, especially CB's, are short.

Be Happy Game 7 Didn't Go Long

I missed this piece earlier in the week because Dan was able to crank out a game piece in time to make the online Globe edition.

It starts:

I was reading Hawthorne's "The House of the Seven Gables" when I had an urge for a 7UP. So I went to 7-Eleven and bought seven cans. It was 7 p.m.

No need to read any further.

Thanks to Barstool Sports for noticing this.

Diving Into Football

After the Red Sox playoff run, Dan's focus shifts to football and last night's Patriots-Broncos match.

Not too good. Dan must not have been paying attention to the football with all that writing he had to do for the Red Sox. Take this question:

"It made you wonder . . . how could the Broncos be 4-2?"

The answer is some bad wins and a gift from the refs against San Diego. He also somehow manages to shoehorn a Red Sox mention and Barack Obama's acceptance speech. Dan really had nothing to say, ultimately resorting to tired trivia about the Patriots and Monday Night Football.

Nose to the Grindstone

People have accused Dan of "mailing it in" on occasion. Last year, he previewed the World Series by stating that nobody knew who the Rockies were and Dan couldn't really be bothered to tell us. But this postseason there was no hint of such laziness. And his "the immortal player Dan was too lazy to know about" shtick wasn't prominent. (At least as I can tell. I hardly read his columns any more.)

Today's piece was pretty good. It was a good recap of the game with a little bit of perspective.

There is one hyperbole alert:

"The Rays never played .500 ball before this year, but in October of '08 they are every bit as talented as any Yankees team the Sox battled in the last decade."

That is a slight overstatement.

Our Roller Coaster Ride is Almost Complete

Dan offers up the game recap and for the most part, he plays it straight. But then he gets into his asinine "Let's call this series over " schtick. If he were an ER doctor, you would probably hear him say, "The Rays, Time of Death, 12:16" But then you would hear the other docs yelling at him "But the patient hasn't died yet, you idiot." And Shaughnessy would respond, "Well, I just felt the need to say something."

Today he does this by concluding with, "And the Red Sox are planning on starting the World Series Wednesday night at Fenway against the Philadelphia Phillies." I, for one, don't believe in curses or jinxes and I would never claim that Shaughnessy has just jinxed the Red Sox because that would amount to conceding that Shaughnessy has power he clearly does not. I just find it incredibly annoying...but then again, we are talking Shaughnessy.

Choker Rays?

Dan examines how the Rays might react to the colossal lost on Thursday night and compares them to the Angels of the past couple of decades--the 1986 Angels who could not recover after a similar Game 5 loss and the Angels of more recent vintage who Shaughnessy claims have little Red Sox dancing in their heads.

Dr Dan loves to explore the psych side of winning and losing and so this was a natural column for him - a lot of rehash of years gone by coupled with superficial speculation and analysis and you have a Shaughnessy column.

Wow!

What a game! If you watch the video of Shaughnessy that accompanies his game story, it is actually pretty neat...you see a boyish excitement reveal itself and in a rare instance, I actually feel like giving the guy a high five and saying "Yes, the Sox did it!"

This is an exciting morning...I shouldargue that Shaughnessy did not need to add the gratuitious shot at Schilling. Plus we have the tired time stamp (12:16) technique. And I could also point out DBVader's prescience in yesterday's piece when he wrote

But this small sample size problem is just an example of the basic flaw in Dan's thesis. Dan claims that this team, down 3-1, is somehow different than all the other teams that have come back from the same deficit because this one looks
bad. But all those teams looked bad, that's why they were down 3-1. After seeing
the Red Sox get blown out in Game 3 of the 2004 ALCS, nobody thought they looked
good, poised to roar back. But they did because they began to play better, much
better. You cannot predict, just hope that it happens.

But I will show some restraint. It's a good day. Shank's story is actually good given that he had to rewrite everything minutes before deadline. If you see Shaughnessy today, give him a high five. The Sox did good. And he did okay too.

If Dan Can Do It . . . .

If one were to read today's Shank column (or the one he wrote a year ago when the Red Sox were down 3-1 to the Indians) and conclude based on it that he sucked as a writer, you would be committing a mistake in logic. One column is not enough to show that a columnist is good or bad. To truly determine that Shank sucked, you would need to look at his whole body of work.

Dan makes such a mistake in today's column, blaming players for poor hitting over a four-game period. (My favorite is "Organization poster boy Dustin Pedroia is hitting .172 against the Tribe", implying that there is something wrong about an organization with a 2b hitting .380/.440.) Let's ignore what happened over six months for what happened over the last week. This is the same type of irrational, panicked thinking that CHB would slam fans for engaging in.

But this small sample size problem is just an example of the basic flaw in Dan's thesis. Dan claims that this team, down 3-1, is somehow different than all the other teams that have come back from the same deficit because this one looks bad. But all those teams looked bad, that's why they were down 3-1. After seeing the Red Sox get blown out in Game 3 of the 2004 ALCS, nobody thought they looked good, poised to roar back. But they did because they began to play better, much better. You cannot predict, just hope that it happens.


Factual Error
Manny Delcarmen is not one of Theo's guys. He was drafted in 2000.

A Lot Can Change

Dan's look at last night's game mixes in some reflections on the state of the Patriots, comparing the big comedowns of both teams. I think it captures the situation well.

Does Dan read the messageboard over at Boston Sports Media Watch?

Jason Varitek looks as though he might calcify in mid-swing.

I know that members like to call Varitek "The Calcifying Captain."

Give It to Dan

I don't much care for Dan's "Picked Up Pieces" columns. Usually, the pieces are creations of laziness, obvious and/or dated observations and lame jokes.

Today's piece is an exception. With the playoffs, Dan has a chance for some timely and interesting observations. The piece however did not get off to a good start. The first paragraph was a Warren Zevon reference. (Dan, Peter Gammons owns the exclusive rights to Warren Zevon references.) The second paragraph was a reference to how late games end. SHUT UP!!!! SHUT UP!!!!

What really caught my attention was the following paragraph, which I had to read twice:

Do not underestimate the residue of hard feelings in the wake of Francona hitting for Jason Varitek a second time in these playoffs. Tito lifted Varitek for J.D. Drew against Dan Wheeler in the ninth inning of Game 2. It's refreshingly bold given Tito's reputation at a "player's manager" and it makes good sense, but be assured the captain sees this as an act of abject betrayal.

Roller Coaster Dan

Oh yes, just one day after Dan declared (five times no less) that it just felt like the Red Sox were going to the World Series, the seeds of doubt have crept in and Dan writes

It makes you wonder about those dreams of a third Boston World Series in five seasons.

If Dan used any shred of analysis, he would not have rambled on (five times no less) about the Red Sox making the World Series. If he had studied the situation, he would have realized that the Rays have hung tough all season. He would have realized that there were plenty of questions about Beckett's health. If this one lousy start happened to Beckett last year, it would have been an anomaly. This year, while this start was disappointing for Beckett, it was neither surprising nor unpredictable. As always, Dan rides with the wind. He is incapable of cogent analysis. (There is even a little video vignette on the boston.com site with Dan apologizing for predicting a Red Sox World Series appearance. How pathetic.) The Red Sox may very well end up going to the World Series but for Dan to call it after Game 1 was just idiotic.

There are a few other gems in there as well

. Dan loves the "While New England slept" bit. It is quite a dichotomy....Shaughnessy frequently criticizes the Red Sox zealots who live and die with the teams fortunes. At the same time, he criticizes Tampa for its lack of tradition. Yet Tampa's stadium was rocking last night while New England slept?

- Dan takes a jab at the way the Red Sox handling of players with injuries when he writes
"It makes you wonder why the Sox are so stubborn with star players (remember Mike Lowell?) who are not physically able to perform." Are you serious, Dr Shaughnessy? Have you not been following this team recently? Can you discuss the way the way they have shut down people like Pedro Martinez, Curt Schilling, JD Drew, Julio Lugo, David Ortiz, Hideki Okajima? Whose careers have they jeapordized by their stubborness? (Actually I would worry about Ortiz)

- Of course, there is always the gratuitous shot ot Grady Little for whenever a manager leaves a pitcher in too long. Its funny once or twice but gets tired after a dozen plus uses

Other than that, this was a fine and much needed piece of journalistic wonder. And since you probably have plenty of energy since you went to bed while the Red Sox were still playing last night, you can read Shank's piece on Kevin Youklis for a Theo and the Minions reference (oh by the way, I dont think anyone commented on this but in a recent piece, Dan referred to them as "Theo and his baseball operations staff"

Finally, please note that the Globe has added a section for readers to comment on Shaughnessy's pieces. Some entertaining comments.

Have a great Sunday...

What is wrong with this Guy?

Seriously, what is this guy's issue? One game into the ALCS and Shaughnessy is ready to declare this thing is over? What is he smoking? Has he lost his mind? Five references to the World Series after Game 1?

Here are the 5 separate references

It's only one game. So how come it already feels like the Red Sox are going to the World Series?

So how come it already feels like the Red Sox are going to the World Series?

This is the way it's been for quite some time, and that's why it already feels like the Red Sox are going to the World Series.

On to the ninth. On to Jonathan Papelbon and a 1-2-3 ninth. On to the World Series. At least that's the way it feels.

It's only one game and already it feels like the Red Sox are going back to the World Series.

What a total and complete moron. And here is my favorite quote:

Including their historic ALCS comeback in 2004, the Sox are 23-7 in their last 30 postseason games. Toss out the 2005 Division Series sweep at the hands of the White Sox and Boston is 23-4 in tournament play since the embarrassing loss to the Yankees.

He may just as well said, "the Sox are 23-7 in their last 30 postseason games. Toss out the 7 losses and they are an amazing 23-0." And why the hell does he keep referring to it as tournament play? It is the playoffs for crying out loud.

I am seriously beginning to wonder if this guy has completely lost it?

Unbelievable. Bring on a new columnist. The old one has lost it.

You Knew This Was Coming....

You knew this was coming from a mile away....or should I say a Manny Ramirez tapeshot homerun away?

Shaughnessy treats us to one of his many walks down memory lane. This time, we visit Tampa St Petersburg, a place where Shank says the sports tradition is mighty thin. He contrasts this to the tradition rich histories of New York, Cleveland, and Chicago. Come on Shank, as if Cleveland and Chicago would offer a more compelling match-up because of their richer histories? The Ray's history may be short but given that, the animosity that has developed between them and the Red Sox is pretty rich. I'd take this series in terms of interest than pretty much any other series save perhaps the Yankees.

Shank manages to dig up reference to every exhibition game he possibly can in which a Boston team was involved that was played in this area. He also makes the relevation that the Super Bowl will be played here in 4 months and wouldn't it be nifty if the Red Sox win this Series and the Patriots win the Super Bowl? Didn't Shaughnessy write the Patriots off three weeks ago?

Shank can never resist the jabs even if he has to strain to do it...let's follow this sequence...Scott Williamson claims to have seen a ghost at a Tampa hotel...Scott Williamson was in the bullpen when Grady Little stuck with Pedro Martinez on a fateful night in 2003 so lets therefore bring up a Grady Little/2003 Game 7 reference. It's a natural fit for this column. (Oh by the way, Williamson was pretty clutch for the Red Sox in a few playoff games)

Shaughnessy's whole premise is that Tampa has no sports history and that the Tropicana Dome is an abhorent pit and yet Shaughnessy throws out a little tidbit about the Ted Williams museum being located here and concludes "Pretty cool - for a place that came close to being named the Knuckledome." So is it cool Shank? Or is it a second rate sports city with a crappy stadium and no tradition?

Bottom line: Another meandering mess from Boston's finest columnist

2 for the price of 1

I missed an extra Dan column yesterday, so you get two reviews from me today.

Starting with today's, a look back at a man well known in Boston Don Zimmer. A good look reminding me of what can be so special about baseball lifers.

It was yesterday's that really caught my eye. The strong finger wagging at those young whippersnappers that won't get off his lawn is an expansion on a theme in a column from two weeks ago. And when I say expansion, I mean repeating himself, almost word for word.

Let's compare the two:

9/24/08:
"Still, we could be in a place like Pittsburgh or Kansas City where baseball playoffs are merely a sweet memory, like gasoline for 29 cents a gallon."

10/07/08:
"There's no more baseball in Pittsburgh this year. Same for Kansas City and Baltimore. The good people of Milwaukee just experienced their first taste of the playoffs since 1982 and their ride lasted only four games."


9/24/08:
"Those of us who grew up in the 1950s and '60s remember the hungry years. "

10/07/08:
"New Englanders who grew up during the Eisenhower and Kennedy administrations had absolutely zero expectations of postseason play involving the Red Sox. It just wasn't going to happen."


9/24/08:
"Sure, there has been expansion of baseball's playoff system. There was a time (as late as 1968) when only one of 10 teams in each league qualified for postseason play. That's two of 20. Today, it's eight of 30 making the playoffs - not quite like the old NHL, which took 16 of 21, but it's considerably easier than it was in the old days.

10/07/08:
"Granted, it was much more difficult to play into October in those days. In the early 1960s, the Red Sox played in a 10-team American League and there were no preliminary rounds. There were no divisions. There was no wild card. You finished first out of 10 teams after 162 games or you went home.


9/24/08:
"That was not the first lengthy Red Sox drought. Way back in the day, the Sox went from 1918 to 1946 without playing a postseason game."

10/07/08:
"From 1918 until 1967, the Sox played in exactly one postseason series.


9/24/08:
"One of the reasons we immortalize the 1967 Red Sox is because they brought playoff games to Fenway Park for the first time in 19 autumns."

10/07/08:
""That's why 1967 remains the most important season in franchise history. It changed the way we thought about the Red Sox."

Bring On The Tired, Overused Phrase

The Red Sox playoff success has gotten a little routine, so Dan, in tribute, uses one of his tired, routing phrases to lead today's column.

A quick search of the Globe archives for "dan shaughnessy" "bring on the" spits up 33 columns from the recycler. Thanks for staying fresh, Dan.

The rest is a recap of the game, with an emphasis on how these are the new Red Sox, the ones who don't fold after a crucial passed ball. Dan must have been crying, thinking about his lost meal ticket.

Now He Is Just Trying to Annoy Me

This was the sixth sentence of Dan's column today:

The game was played in front of the largest Fenway crowd (39,067) since World War II, lasted 5 hours 19 minutes, and ended at 12:48 this morning when Jered Weaver - making the first relief appearance of his career - got Alex Cora to ground to third base.

Dan goes on to recap the game, highlighting the Angels' struggles to bring in the many baserunners they had last night.

Tito

Shaughnessy writes this morning that Terry Francona has done a wonderful job with the Red Sox but does not get the credit he deserves. A laudatory piece which has a nice perspective but also contains a few annoying Shank-isms:

- He talks about Francona's reaction to an MLB release which refers to him as Coach Francona vice the "manager". Shaughnessy says that true baseballers hate when managers are referred to as coaches. That is all good but this is pretty funny in a column when Shaughnessy refers to baseball's playoffs as a "tournament"...what idiot refers to the baseball playoffs as a tournament?

- He can't resist a dig at Belichick when he says "Just because Francona doesn't intimidate people or try to portray himself as a genius, is that any reason to diminish what the man has done?" Give it a rest Shank

- He talks about Francona's handling of Manny and how hard it must have been on him...this just two months after he ripped Francona for enabling Manny's behavior.

Have a good Sunday

Daily Double

Dan offers up two tasty treats today...

Dream Matchup

Its a Given

Both are horrid...more thoughts to follow later tonight

(Update/Edit, 10 pm Saturday:

Just a few more thoughts. Shaughnessy's game recap was more awful regurgitated crap. He must have been really proud of himself for the clever Dock of the Bay reference because he used it again today just as he did on Friday. He goes on and on about how the Angels cant beat the Red Sox in October just as he did on Friday. He starts off listing all the different types of balls (long ball, hard ball, soft ball, wiffle ball) a wonderfully clever technique that, oh by the way, he used on Friday (Doc Ellis, Doc Medich, Doc Rivers, Dr Phil). Add oh yeah some idiot apparently told Dan that the first series is a best of three because he has declared that all the first round series are over.

As for the dream matchup article (He is rooting for Red Sox Dodgers), it is premature crap. Also dredges up some favorite pot shots at folks like Nomar
Closing out for now...have a good night

Dave M

Dr Dan

Dr Dan takes the stand. He also plays the role of judge and jury. He testifies that the Red Sox are in the Angels heads. It is a familiar claim from our expert, being dusted off after just one playoff game. Shaughnessy actually mostly plays it straight (outside of the Dr Phil and Lucy references) and it is not a bad column. But it is one of those columns where you read it and say "I knew this was coming from him." He has become so predictable. He loves to explore the mind games. He also loves to make these declaratives after a single game or event. Some will say he is being "out front" and others will say this is more knee-jerk reaction from CHB. At this point, I'd say its knee jerk. Let the series play out and write this type of column in the post mortem of the entire series and not just the first game

Give It A Rest

Dan manages to incorporate all his favorite topics in today's column: Manny Ramirez, how late a game ends, and lame, dated song references.

It all leaves you wondering what Boston sports fans did to have Shank writing the front page pieces for the playoffs. At least Dan didn't write 90% of the column before the game and shoehorn some mention of the game into the piece.

Pure, unadulterated crap

Beckett has been the Bob Gibson of his generation and pretty much won the World Series for the Red Sox all by himself in 2007.

Seriously, should anybody read a columnist who makes the above claim? Lester, Schilling, Lowell, and JD Drew had something to do with the Red Sox World Series victory. Dan manages a couple of irrelevant Manny shots also.

Dan also provides a full column for Manny bashing. And at the height of laziness, it is a recap of column written by another hack.

Dan doesn't limit his bashing to Manny. He has some space for you poor delusional fans. After quoting Manny about the Boston atmosphere ("The fans in Boston got your back no matter what, but I'm talking about the people who write all this bull because it means so much to them. If your happiness depends on Boston winning or losing, you have to get a life."), Dan turns it on the fans.

There certainly are people in Boston whose happiness is connected to the Sox' fortunes. But it's not the "people who write this bull." Trust me when I tell you that Sox wins and losses have zero bearing on my happiness.

Yes, Dan is superior to you. He has evolved to such a level that he no longer cares. I don't care about his conclusion. The Red Sox winning doesn't have an affect on my happiness. It is Dan's sneering, condescending attitude that is despicable.

And Dan leaves us with one last bit of misinformation:

There are stars everywhere and you can have a drink at the Ritz with Enrique Wilson without being dimed out by some crazed LA fan.

Ignore the fact that Ramirez lived at the Ritz at the time and wasn't drinking adult beverages. Otherwise, it is a great story.

And EYE-E-EYE Will Always Love You-oo-woo-oo

Treat a guy to dinner and he will write page one love letters to you.

Dan offers a profile of John Henry and hits all the hot topics: Manny, Theo and Lucchino, Fenway. It is a little creepy at times as Dan goes overboard in his love for Henry, but an interesting read.

One thing I want to scream about:

Seven years in charge of the Red Sox has taught Henry that sometimes the numbers do lie. Sometimes you have to believe in your GM when he says that a 5-foot-6-inch kid named Dustin Pedroia is going to be a .300 hitter in the big leagues.

THE NUMBERS SAID HE WAS GOING TO HIT .300 IN THE BIG LEAGUES. Pedroia hit .308/.392/.453 in the minors with more extra base hits than strikeouts. It was idiots like Shank who looked at Pedroia and dismissed him out of hand because he was short. Pedroia was the ultimate numbers over scouting decision. Dan doesn't have a shred of self awareness.

That's Not Rain on the Red Sox Parade

Old Man Shaughnessy has a lecture today for all you young whippersnappers, those of you who don't know what it was like to suffer like him.

It starts off celebratory:

Five playoffs in six years. Not bad. Not bad at all.

Then he feels the need to provide us with a math lesson, for those of you too dense to realize what has happened in sports over the last few decades.

There was a time (as late as 1968) when only one of 10 teams in each league qualified for postseason play. That's two of 20. Today, it's eight of 30 making the playoffs - not quite like the old NHL, which took 16 of 21, but it's considerably easier than it was in the old days.

Then he has to tell us what it really was like to suffer.

Those of us who grew up in the 1950s and '60s remember the hungry years.

And reminds us of one of the great sports cliches.

So we are careful not to be too casual about this.

Yes, Dan. We all need to be reminded that the Celtics can have the third worst record in the NBA, that the Patriots can go 5-11, and that the Red Sox can be a dysfunctional mess under stagnant ownership and a weak general manager.

So Dan has established his moral authority over us. Now it's time to look down his nose at the players.

Having said all that, does anybody else find these early-accomplishment celebrations a little overdone?

The Red Sox have baseball's fourth-highest payroll. They had seven players in this year's All-Star Game. Do they really need to cover the lockers with plastic wrap and spray one another with champagne because they have officially qualified as one of the final eight teams in this year's tournament?

But Dan Dan does a quick 180 degree turn, quoting Terry Francona:

"Just because we've had success in prior years, I don't see why this group shouldn't celebrate what they've accomplished. We know we have more baseball to play."

To recap:

- Five playoffs in six years is good
- But it isn't all that special because it is easier to get in the playoffs
- You don't know what it is like to suffer like I do
- Still, others team don't come close to doing what the Red Sox have done
- The players shouldn't celebrate because they should have won
- The players should celebrate because Tito said so

I think there is a medical diagnosis for this type of behavior.

UGH

Dan has a column about the rout in Foxborough yesterday. Not as smug as you would think, but some cliched digs. A reference to the CBS Scene (get over it, Dan) and a ludicrous claim:

It's been well-documented that Belichick's genius seemed to start around the same time Brady became his quarterback.

Dan is just about a decade off. Belichick was the man behind the defense that shut down the Jim Kelly led Bills.

The Tuna

As the Miami Dolphins make their way to Foxborough today, Shaughnessy uses his space to discuss Bill Parcells and his latest reclamation project. For the first couple of paragraphs, it seems like Dan might play it straight and talk about Parcells and the Dolphins going forward but then it devolves into a somewhat angry look backward about Parcells, the Krafts, BB (the former HC of the NYJ), etc.

Since Parcells won't talk to him (or apparently to anyone in the media), Shaughnessy retraces well worn steps. One sentence up front immediately made me laugh:

He makes $4 million per year. He does whatever he wants and the owner leaves him alone. Pretty good work, if you can get it.

Revise the salary, change "owner" to "publisher" and Shaughnessy could be writing an autobiographical sketch.

Shaughnessy gets several digs in on the Krafts including a nasty little zinger where he asks if the Krafts are sitting on phone books when they watch the games. He also says it is conveniently ignored that it was James Orthwein who started the renaissance of the Patriots and not the Krafts. By whom?

After a string of a couple of nice articles here and there, Shaughnessy reverts to form....bitter and lazy but raking in a nice paycheck all the while. Pretty good work, if you can get it.

Holliston High

Shaughnessy writes about the heart-wrenching grief faced by the Holliston HIgh School football team after the very recent deaths of one of their players (who died after a scrimmage) and one of their honorary team members (a 10 year old who died of leukemia). It is a touching story and worth a read. Fortunately, he once against shows restraint and does not get on his soapbox. He will sometimes use stories like this to remind us about what's really important in life and how it puts the daily ups and downs of the Red Sox and Patriots into perspective. Thankfully he resists that temptation and it is worth a read as a result.

Sunshine and Bliss on Yawkey Way

Dan is getting the word out: Everybody in the Red Sox front office is getting along just fine.

Dan is just like a poodle on Lucchino's leash. He barks when Larry tells hims to and sits when told. No "Theo and his minions" or snide remarks about age and how Theo owes everything to Lucchino in this article. I guess Lucchino wants to make sure that this contract renewal goes smoother than the last one.

Cassel

Dan writes about Mat Cassel’s long standing role as second fiddle to a three-time Super Bowl winner and two separate Heisman trophy winners. It is a decent look at Cassel and the road that has led him to his first start in a meaningful game in a decade.

It’s really not a bad article overall, but I would take issue with a few points:

- For the umpteenth time this week, I have heard that Matt Cassel has not started since high school. Shaughnessy’s statement today is that “The last time he started a football game was Nov. 24, 1999, when he quarterbacked Chatsworth High to a 49-42 loss to Palisades Charter High School in the third round of the Los Angeles City Invitational playoffs.” This is not completely true – he has started some preseason games. Granted I get the point but he may want to couch his statements better.

- Dan perpetuates the whole shtick about Belichick’s unwavering faith in the system when he writes “The Patriots believe the system is bigger than any player and that is why Cassel is the QB rather than an experienced backup from the NFL scrap heap.” This is another oft-repeated claim and I don’t buy it. I do think it is true that they won’t transform their approach to a player who would not fit (Culpepper?) but I think Cassel has stuck with the team and is now the starter because he is talented. The fact that he knows the playbook after three years also goes a long way. It’s not like they pulled a high schooler off the streets because they believe he "fits the system"

- If Shaughnessy is going to write an article like this, a fresh perspective would be to interview his college coaches to get their perspective on his talent. Was there a significant difference between him and Palmer and Leinart? Or was it more slight? Would have been a good angle to explore

- Finally, he ends the column with a "string the quotes together" technique

Again, not a bad article but could have been better
(Edit: Corrected link, Thanks DB!)
(Edit 2: When I wrote this critique Friday, I said this column could have been better and this is what I had in mind:...Bob Hohler's piece is an excellent read this morning about Cassel)

A Good Effort

Dan writes an good piece today, with a novel concept and some pertinent points.

Dan weaves the obsessive Tom Brady coverage (i.e. breathless news reporters breaking the news that Brady walked into Gillette) into a discussion of the Rays-Red Sox. His best point was the about Curt Schilling:

Did you hear? Schill ripped into New York fans' treatment of the Brady injury and somehow got himself on the cover of the Daily News - talking about Brady and New York fans.

I don't agree with Dan about Schilling most of the time, but this time I have to. Why is somebody who threw his last pitch for the Red Sox eleven months ago talking about football and New York Jets fans? This guy doesn't know when to let go.

Sounds like somebody I know. Maybe Dan and Curt are too much alike to get along.

Dan, Telling Us What We Feel

Dan likes to portray New England fans as little more than infantile sycophants with a lack of perspective. He does it again today with these prominent early sentences:

New England sports fans are lost boys and lost girls. They have lost their leader and their mojo. They have lost their way.

Yes, Dan. A guy I have never met and who has no bearing on my life is my leader.

Dan recovers from his condescending tripe to give a nice recap of the events of the last 48 hours that changed the Patriots season. Of course, it had to come with gratuitous swipes at Patriot Place (and by extension, the Kraft family) and a Bruce Springsteen reference.

What Will He Write?

Whenever big news happens, I like to invite the readers to guess what Dan will write. So with a day to ponder it, what will Dan have to say about Brady's injury? What will be the oh so clever nickname? What curse will Dan dream up? Tell us in the comments section.

Boston College's Old Freshman

Shaughnessy writes about Chris Crane, Boston College's 5th year freshman who led the Eagles to a frustrating loss yesterday. For the past four years, Crane has pretty much stayed on the sidelines as Matt Ryan has led BC. Crane get his real first shot as a started and did not have a good game. The article offers a fair recap and it was a reasonable angle for Shaughnessy to take.

There is one true Shankism when he writes, "Coach Jags can say it's not just one guy, but we know better." How ironic it is that Shaughnessy rails against his readership so often but then he employs the "we" technique as if he and the world are in perfect harmony and he is our spokesman.

Thanks for the. . .

kick in the nuts, Dan.

Dan regales us with what life would be like if the Patriots had won Super Bowl XLII. A lot of indigestion and angry commuters this morning thanks the Miserable One.

However you feel about the topic, though, Dan did manage some good lines:

"Mercury Morris would be harder to find than Whitey Bulger."

"Seventeen Greater Boston television and radio stations would have paid for the rights to be the "official station of the World Champion Patriots.''"

"The Bruins would be very, very lonely."

A Littile Bit of This, A Little Bit of That

And you have yourself a column. Well, you do if your Dan Shaughnessy. Find a topic, preferably negative. Then write about it for a bit, padding your column with obvious information. When that well runs dry, further pad with quotations, ignoring any attempt to make it all flow. You just gotta fill those column inches.