Saturday, July 22, 2017

California Dreaming

Shank thinks there's going to be a World Series between the Boston Red Sox and the Los Angeles Dodgers, complete with a few classic Shankisms.
SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA — It’s a perfect time to be out here in the future home of LeBron James; the land of swimming pools, movie stars, and Kardashians.

The sons of John Farrell are in Anaheim for a weekend joust with the Angels and I am taking this opportunity to book a swanky hotel for the 2017 World Series between the Los Angeles Dodgers and your Boston Red Sox.

Red Sox-Dodgers.
The Red Sox are out in California to play the Angels; it makes you wonder how Shank comes up with stuff like this.

Another David Price Column

Shank can't seem to get enough of David Price:
Is Price an overpaid, thin-skinned, prima donna ill-suited for Boston baseball? Or is he the Red Sox’ secret weapon destined to establish his value and earn fans’ love with a strong 2017 finish and (gulp) postseason glory? We’re pretty sure Price hates Boston, but could he yet emerge as a rich man’s John Lackey? Could Price wind up being a guy who delivers the goods even though he hates Boston with the power of a thousand suns?
Looks a lot like this column from last month, doesn't it?
Is David Price destined to become a Red Sox lefty hero on a par with Jon Lester, or an overpaid free agent flop like Jack Clark and Pablo Sandoval?

Price is a Fenway lightning rod in the spring of 2017. At this hour, the big questions around Price are:

■ Can he pitch in Boston?

■ Does he hate it here?

■ Will he exercise his option to leave Boston after the 2018 season?

■ Should he have taken less money to sign with the Cardinals?

■ Does he spend more time and energy on Twitter than Donald Trump?
Can't imagine why am athlete would hate playing in Boston with all this positive, supportive media coverage...

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

And Now For More Boston Globe Bashing - LVI

The Boston Globe Media CEO Doug Franklin is now the former Boston Globe Media CEO after a whopping six months on the job:
Doug we hardly knew ye. Last December, Boston Globe Media named veteran newspaper executive Doug Franklin as chief executive officer to replace Mike Sheehan, who was leaving after three years in charge. Now Franklin is leaving, citing “differences” with owner John Henry over “how to strategically achieve our financial sustainability.”

At this early stage I have no idea what went wrong. I will point out that the Globe has been sending out frequent emails apologizing for late delivery of the print edition since shifting from its old Morrissey Boulevard headquarters to a new plant in Taunton — but I can’t say I know whether that has anything to do with Franklin’s departure.
We can read between the lines - Franklin's the fall guy.

Seems to be a lot of executive deck clearing this month - the new CFO is someone with impeccable leftist credentials:
Vinay Mehra, the chief financial officer of Politico and a former executive at WGBH, will become the president and chief financial officer of Boston Globe Media, according to a memo to the staff from publisher and owner John Henry.
But the media isn't biased - just remember that!

And the last thing to point out:
Henry also says that he and his wife, managing partner Linda Pizzuti Henry, plan to take a more active role.
Like telling a Boston Globe columnist to stop writing all those vicious articles about Red Sox players?

Boston Sports Media Watch - I

Well, since the official Boston Sports Media Watch is now dormant, I'll go off the Shank script occasionally, with this being one of those times.

So I went and checked out Kirk Minihane's Twitter feed earlier today, and I saw some angry tweets and re-tweets (nothing new there), but the name Samer stood out to me like a sore thumb. Samer Kalaf is one of the hangers-on at Deadspin and in my opinion is their laziest / least prolific writer on what's left of their staff. It seems that Samer wrote a post 'discussing' the local sports talk radio scene. Well, 'discussing' isn't quite the right word to use - it's pretty much a pile-on in the mold of the traditionally negative Boston sports media. Given the subject matter at hand, it's next to impossible to expect anything positive or even-handed, and Samer delivers. I'd like to say it was a good overall column, but I have a few nitpicks about it - he shortchanges a few people like devoting a single sentence to Marc Bertrand (like Samer couldn't at least mention he was Felger & Mazz's booth guy until a few years ago), and he seems to go out of his way to a) denigrate each person in at least one offhand manner and / or b) make sure you remember their worst moment on the radio, like the time Dennis & Callahan goofed (badly) on inner-city Boston Metco students from fourteen years ago and were suspended for it.

Let's note Samer's professional take on Mr. Minihane:
Kirk is the rat a ratfucker fucks. He is on the lowest rung of the ladder that is Boston sports radio, which is quite an accomplishment. He replaced John Dennis as Gerry Callahan’s partner for Kirk and Callahan on WEEI, which is like replacing the rat a ratfucker fucks with a dead rat.
Far be it for me to criticize others for using profanity in a blog post, but I am sparing in its use. Deadspin writers (aside from Kevin Draper, now at the New York Yimes) seem like they drop F-bombs in every third sentence. If you want to detract from the point your making, I suppose they should have at it.

It looks like Barstool Sports isn't too thrilled with him, either:
OMG look at this! Worst writer on the Internet Samer Kalif jumped in on the Rihanna fat blog controversy today. WHAT A SHOCK. Now before I address what he said let me just say this. Samer Kalif is the worst writer on the internet. He’s clickbait city. He’s a kid who grew up popping his zits at UNH idolizing me and then threw a tantrum when he wasn’t good enough to work here and has had an axe to grind ever since.
Jeez - UNH will admit just about anybody, won't they (like they did with me)?

Friday, July 14, 2017

Mea Culpa Tweets, By Dan Shaughnessy

Nice of him to eat some crow once in a while:

Familiar Ground

Shank writes his 276th column about a Red Sox / Yankees series.
The second-place Yankees are coming to town to face the first-place Red Sox for four games over three days at Fenway this weekend. The Sox could put their cleats on the throats of the struggling New Yorkers and send them away for good . . . or . . . the Yankees could vault into first with a four-game sweep. Some thoughts:

■ These could be the final days, indeed the final hours of the Pablo Sandoval debacle in Boston. That’s right, folks, the Red Sox could release the Kung Fu Panda any minute, certainly by Monday when they have to make a decision on Sandoval’s status as his rehab assignment officially ends. Outright release feels like an option. If it happens, the Sox will have gotten exactly 161 games of virtually nothing (.239, 14 homers, 59 RBIs) in exchange for $95 million. The Sox are 69-81 when Sandoval starts. And according to one metric, his glove costs them 34 runs per season. Dumping Sandoval is an ownership call more than a Dave Dombrowski call. Panda is Ben Cherington’s signing, so Dombro has no pride of authorship here. When Panda is finally released, debate can commence on the worst Sox free agent signing ever. Carl Crawford ($142 million), Rusney Castillo ($72.5 million as an international free agent), and Panda can jostle for the top spot on the medal platform, but let’s never forget worthy contenders such as Jose Offerman, Jack Clark, Matt Young, Matt Clement, Edgar Renteria, and Daisuke Matsuzaka.

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Botched Tweets, By Dan Shaughnessy

I remember Dustin Pedroia taking a good shot at Shank last year (concerning Mookie Betts advancing an extra base or two on steals / hit & run plays, and doing it on multiple occasions) - "Watch the games." It's apparent that Shank still does not watch the games:

The Gene Conley Column

He sounds like he was an interesting guy:
Willie Mays. Wilt Chamberlain. Mickey Mantle. Bill Russell. Stan Musial. Elgin Baylor. Jackie Robinson. Bob Cousy. Hank Aaron. Jerry West. Warren Spahn. Oscar Robertson. Ted Williams.

Gene Conley played ball against all of the above. He struck out Mantle and posted up Chamberlain. In the same year.

He played against a chorus line of superstars, but none of those Hall of Famers ever did what Conley did.

Thursday, July 06, 2017

That Explains Everything

I don't listen to a lot of local sports talk radio, although I do like Mike Felger. I do know that Adam Jones, for whatever reason(s), isn't well liked. Then I was reminded about one of those reasons:

Monday, July 03, 2017


You can tell it's summer when Shank starts mailing in columns every other week.
Picked-up pieces while waiting for Danny Ainge fireworks and wondering if Tom Brady and Kelly Olynyk are available for Gordon Hayward recruitment . . .

■ It’s disturbing to hear that David Price got into a verbal altercation with Dennis Eckersley on the Red Sox charter to Toronto after Thursday night’s win. This is a no-win venture for Price, who already has a bull’s-eye on his back because of his contract, his playoff failures, and his new layer of thin skin since coming to Boston. No Sox player is going to win a hissing contest with Eckersley, a Hall of Fame pitcher and the most refreshing color commentator in our market. Eck was a stand-up guy when he pitched and he’s been the same as an analyst. Boston fans love Eckersley. Price, who appears to be finding himself on the mound, increasingly looks like an unhappy camper who wants out of Boston. Not good. Price’s brief explanation of his confrontation with Eckersley was a true head-scratcher. When asked about the episode, Price told the Globe’s Nick Cafardo, “Some people just don’t understand how hard this game is.’’ What? Eckersley is the last guy you’d drop that on. Eckersley understands everything that can happen to a big league ballplayer. As a major leaguer, Eckersley survived career-threatening injuries, multiple trades, getting released, alcohol addiction, a brother in prison, and two failed marriages. He was part of the Red Sox’ collapse in 1978 and took every ounce of heat when he surrendered one of the most famous homers in history — the World Series walkoff by Kirk Gibson. With all that, Eck rightfully sailed into the Hall of Fame on the first ballot. The Sox are going to need David Price to get where they want to go this year. Now it looks like Price is being swallowed whole by the dreaded Boston Baseball Experience. Maybe he should have talked with his former teammate Carl Crawford before taking the money to play here.
It does look like the pressure exerted by local media on David Price finally caused him to crack. My only surprise is Shank's lack of participation in the whole thing.

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Sincerity Doubted

It wouldn't be a summer with the Boston Red Sox without Shank openly ragging on one of the players.
Hanley Ramirez says he cares, he really does

Hanley Ramirez knows. He is not stupid. He is not clueless. This is his 13th year in the big leagues and his third season in Boston, and Ramirez knows he’s getting ripped in multiple media platforms.

He knows some folks think he simply doesn’t want to play first base. He knows there’s a perception that he’s a handful to manage. He admits to being immature and something of a manager-killer in his early big league life, but he wants you to know that’s not what’s happening now.

“It’s not like that,’’ Ramirez said while standing at his locker before batting practice Wednesday before the Red Sox played the Twins. “Fans believe what they hear. Those guys that are saying that about me should come in here, in the clubhouse, and do interviews and ask teammates. Don’t just create things that are not good for the team.
Shank goes on to ask manager John Farrell and Hanley himself some questions. Naturally, Shank doesn't believe any of the answers.

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Why Does Shank Hate Women?

I'm aware that Shank sarcastically refers to 'pink hats' as bandwagon jumpers (something he's quite familiar with) or frontrunners. If you look around during the game, however, you'll notice that the people that are actually wearing the pink hats share a common trait - nearly all of them are women. You'd think he would be aware of this fact and choose some other manner in which to continue disparaging fans of the Boston Red Sox.

Monday, June 26, 2017

A Question Nobody Was Asking

With the retirement of David Ortiz's number last week, Shank assembles the all-time Red Sox lineup.
Take a look at the right-field facade at Fenway Park. With the unnecessary rush to take care of David Ortiz (after making all their other greats wait an average of more than 20 years), the Red Sox now have a perfect 10-man starting lineup of retired numbers.

There are three outfielders, 9, 8, and 14 (Ted Williams, Carl Yastrzemski, Jim Rice), one pitcher, 45 (Pedro Martinez), one catcher, 27 (Carlton Fisk), a third baseman, 26 (Wade Boggs), a second baseman, 1 (Bobby Doerr), and a designated hitter, 34 (Big Papi). The Sox also have two shortstops, 4 and 6 (Joe Cronin, Johnny Pesky).

Sunday, June 25, 2017


Let the second guessing commence!
Picked-up pieces while wondering if there’s anything else we can do to honor David Ortiz . . .

■ Could the Celtics have made potential “fireworks” any more boring? zzz. There HAS to be more. Sorry, I would have done a deal on draft night. I would have kept the No. 1 pick and overpaid the Knicks with all those overrated “assets.” I would have done handstands to bring Kristaps Porzingis to Boston. Or Jimmy Butler. The Celtics need adults, people who have proven they can play in the league. Best of luck to Jayson Tatum, but I’ve got no time for teen angels on training wheels on the parquet floor. The Timberwolves did what the Celtics should have done. They acquired Butler. They already have Karl-Anthony Towns and Andrew Wiggins. Now Butler. Minnesota did not make the playoffs this past season, but I’d take the Timberwolves over the current Celtics roster in a seven-game series today.
Give me a team that didn't make the playoffs over the #1 seed in the Eastern Conference? I thought this guy knew basketball; at one time he did.

And in a 'not shocking in the least' manner, Shank's still mad at Big Papi:
■ Can we re-name Boston’s airport? Ortiz Airport sounds way better than Logan Airport.

■ No more Hatch Shell. Let’s make it the Ortiz Shell. And Storrow Drive should be Ortiz Drive.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

And Now For More Boston Globe Bashing - LV

It looks like we won't have future UMass-Boston dorms 135 Morrissey Boulevard to kick around anymore.
These are the final hours of the Boston Globe building’s 59-year-old life as a printing plant and news operation. The last of billions of newspapers have rolled off the four-story-high presses. Green trucks weighed down by broadsheets no longer wheel onto Morrissey Boulevard from the loading dock. After midnight Thursday, nocturnal folks of the city room and sports desk will turn out the lights for good.

Here in the summer of 2017, the Globe is printed in Taunton, and its executive and editorial offices are moving to a gleaming new downtown space on the second and third floors of 53 State Street.

Not me. I plan to occupy my grimy, windowless office round the clock — like those South Shore church parishioners — until the wrecking ball arrives. I am not an agent of change and find it unbearable to leave a sacred space where so many things happened.
So sad -he hasn't even arrived at the acceptance phase yet...

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

I Want It Now!

Since the Celtics traded their first pick to the Philadelphia 76'ers on Friday, there has been a great deal of discussion about what move Danny Ainge is going to make next. Sounding like a theme he stole from local sports talk radio, Shank wants proven NBA talent RIGHT NOW, dammit!
Are you excited about the Celtics bagging that 2019 Sacramento Kings first-round pick?

Please, please, please, tell me the Celtics are not done. Tell me there is more to this than trading the long-coveted No. 1 pick to the Sixers for this year’s No. 3 pick, and another No. 1 from 2018 or 2019. I am not a patient sports enthusiast. I cannot wait for the year 2525.

The NBA Draft carousel is spinning madly, and nobody knows where it stops. The only thing we know for sure is that the Celtics have a great future. They have lots of draft picks. There are dozens of 12-year-old Marcus Smarts and Jaylen Browns out there who will someday patrol the parquet floor for the Green.
Shank doesn't want any of this fancy modern draft crap - he pines for the good 'ol days when Red Auerbach ruled the roost:
I can only imagine what Red Auerbach would say if he were around today to hear what’s going on in these days leading up to the NBA Draft.

The draft was so much more fun when we didn’t know anything. We assumed Red knew what he was doing, and usually Red was right.

In 1956, Red came away with the greatest single haul in draft history — three Hall of Famers in one draft. Red traded his second-best player, Ed Macauley, to get the second pick in the draft, then had his owner (Walter Brown) pledge the Ice Capades to Rochester so they wouldn’t take Bill Russell with the first overall pick.
A not so subtle shot? - 'Top that, Danny Ainge!'

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Recycled Father's Day Column

At least he's up front about it!

The Shank Mea Culpa Conundrum

Here's an interesting column theme by Shank - the times his judgment has been less than accurate.
I wrote this from the AT&T Park press box on Oct. 25, 2014:

SAN FRANCISCO — The Red Sox can’t sign Pablo Sandoval fast enough.

Truly. John, Tom, and Larry need to bring the Kung Fu Panda to Fenway Park. I promise never to rip Sandoval for being out of shape or going on the disabled list.
We at Dan Shaughnessy Watch have, of course, covered these gems previously, now get it straight from the horse's mouth!

Friday, June 16, 2017

The Shaughnessy Instability

Has anyone out there seen the latest '30 for 30' series featuring the Celtics and Lakers? It's a three part series that started airing this week, with each part being two hours long. I've only seen the last part, so maybe I'm posting this in haste:

At least for Part 3, guess which local Boston reporter was not involved? They had Bob Ryan and Jackie MacMullan, as to be expected, but they chose Peter May over the beat reporter who actually covered the Celtics for most of this time period?

P.S. - Yeah, I'm gonna go with a few 'Big Bang Theory' title mashups from here on. 'Friends' was so... yesterday!

P.P.S. - If any of you have watched either of the first two parts, leave a Shank spotting / Where's Shank? comment below - thanks in advance.

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

David Price Watch

David Price pitched last night. Not bad, considering he was pitching against the worst team in the major leagues and facing a pitcher who was making his third ever start.
Is he Carl Crawford, Carl Everett, or Carl Yastrzemski?

Is David Price destined to become a Red Sox lefty hero on a par with Jon Lester, or an overpaid free agent flop like Jack Clark and Pablo Sandoval?

Price is a Fenway lightning rod in the spring of 2017. At this hour, the big questions around Price are:

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Feelin' That Way Too

More confirmation of that nonexistent love affair between Scott Zolak and Shank:
Like you really have to ask...

Monday, June 12, 2017

Doubling Down On Stupid

If you've been following the NBA Finals, you may have noticed how talented the 2016-2017 Golden State Warriors are. They were one win away from an accomplishment no other NBA team has ever done - winning every single playoff game without losing a single game. They have blown out the Cleveland Cavaliers twice on their home floor and will play tonight, once again on their home floor. Rational observers would conclude that tonight's game will be Mission Impossible for the road team, the Cleveland Cavaliers.

Then there's this guy:
I’m pulling for the Cavaliers, and for good reason

Go Cavs. Go LeBron. Bring the NBA Finals back to the Q, back to the land of the $3 Pabst Blue Ribbon, back to the city where Oil Can Boyd once said, “They built a ballpark by the ocean.’’

I don’t know about you, but I am loving these NBA Finals and I don’t want the series to end. The likelihood, of course, is that Kevin Durant, Steph Curry, and the rest of the indomitable Warriors will finish off the Cavaliers on Monday night at Oracle Arena. confetti and superlatives will fly.

Durant will get his unearned ring and the “Warriors are the greatest ever” narrative will resume. I might have to submit that, like the UConn women, the Warriors are ruining their sport (only kidding, Geno).
He's delusional. Kevin Durant's the reason Golden State's been as good as they've been. You can make the argument that Durant's been playing as well as Lebron has. It's insulting to read something this ignorant, but we're reading a column by Dan Shaughnessy, so it comes with the territory.
But wouldn’t it be much better if the Cavs beat the Warriors in Game 5 and bring the series back to Cleveland for Game 6? Wouldn’t it be great to see the front-running Warriors play with some actual pressure for a change? Wouldn’t it be great if the Cavs could fly Kevin Millar into town and have him start telling everyone some basketball version of “Don’t let the Cavs win this game tonight. ’Cause then they got Schill and Pedro and anything can happen in Game 7!’’
Nothing reeks Shank quite like a Red Sox reference in an NBA Finals column!
I give you all of that. But Durant’s shameless ring-chasing (“Can’t beat the 73-win Warriors as a member of the Thunder? Think I’ll join them”) and the rush to anoint the Warriors best ever has made me a Cavaliers fan.
Question for Shank - how different is this from, um, LeBron James joining the Miami Heat years ago? Shank's suffering yet another case of Convenient Memory Loss in order to make a point.

And, of course, we need to mention Larry Bird! and those Celtics / Lakers teams of yore:
The star power of this matchup is as good as the NBA has offered since Celtics-Lakers gave us Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Kevin McHale, James Worthy, and Robert Parish all in the same series. Those guys faced one another three times in four years. Now we have LeBron, Kyrie Irving, Kevin Love, Durant, Draymond Green, Klay Thompson, and Curry. We have had memorable moments in every game.
This is a quintessential Shank NBA Finals column as they get, Shankisms and all. Thank the Almighty we're one Warriors win away from not having to read another one for fifty weeks.

Friday, June 09, 2017

You Were Saying, Shank?

Looks like Shank got his previous column very, very wrong!
NEW YORK — David Price endured a brutal two days in the Big Apple at the end of this 10-game Red Sox trip. On Wednesday, he announced he was limiting media access, then he unleashed a postgame tirade at multiple reporters. After putting a target on his back, he went to the mound Thursday and surrendered six runs on eight hits (two Gary Sanchez homers) and four walks in five innings. The Red Sox trailed, 6-1, when Price left and lost, 9-1.

Ugly. And all this after I suggested that Boston media and Sox fans were being too hard on the guy. Yeesh. I feel like Eddie Mush from “A Bronx Tale.’’

Who knew things could turn this sour in less than 30 hours on the baseball beat? I meant no harm when I approached Price in the third base dugout before Wednesday’s game. I came in peace. I wanted to know if he likes Boston. I wanted to know if he felt his Red Sox experience had changed him. I wanted to know if he was checking his Twitter notifications nonstop (he said he wasn’t). I wrote a pregame column suggesting that fans and media dial down the anti-Price dialogue. The pro-Price column was posted in the early innings of Boston’s 8-0 loss.
John Farrell came up behind me in a Yankee underbelly tunnel and teased, “See what you started?”

Thursday, June 08, 2017

Piling On David Price?

Piling on Tom Brady - perfectly fine - have at it!

Piling on David Price - how dare you?
NEW YORK — I know this sounds odd coming from me, but folks need to lay off David Price. If you are a Red Sox fan you should be rooting for this guy to succeed. And that doesn’t always seem to be the case. For multiple reason$$$ — maybe because Price talked and tweeted too much when he first got to Boston or because he’s never won a playoff start — piling on Price has become a parlor game in New England over the last 12 months and it makes no sense to me.

Price initially got crushed for taking the Red Sox’ $217 million.
I will not read any more of this column. Once I saw this sentence, it reminded me of the time Shank compared David Price to Carl Crawford. Shank will simply change his opinion on David Price whenever it suits him; he'll exhort the Red Sox to spend big bucks on guys like Price, Crawford, Sandoval, etc., then rip the Sox for spending that money on players for whom Shank will set sky-high expectations, then rip the players accordingly when they fail to meet those expectations.

You can go ahead and read the rest of it - I've had enough bullshit for today.

Returning Fire

If anyone out there wonders whether Scott Zolak likes Shank, this should remove doubt:

Wednesday, June 07, 2017

And Now For More Boston Globe Bashing - LVI

On the one hand, sanctimonious pricks like Boston Globe columnist Bob Hohler love to mention Tom Brady's personal wealth numerous times in a column correctly derided as a 'hit piece' because, let's face it, class warfare still works. The goal is to make the reader jealous, envious and / or resentful towards Tom Brady.

When it comes to spending their own god damned money, well, that's different!
The parent company of the Boston Globe applied for and received a $1.3 million tax break, spread over 10 years, from the city of Taunton as it plans to ramp up employment there to more than 600 people in the coming months.

Kevin Shea, executive director of Taunton’s Economic and Community Development, told the Business Journal that Algonquin Management Holdings LLC, a Boca Raton, Florida-based parent company of Boston Globe Media Partners LLC, was granted the tax incentive in exchange for the promise to create jobs in the area. Algonquin is headed by Red Sox owner John Henry, owner of Boston Globe Media.
Methinks the town got the wrong end of the bargain here - how many readers think the dying newspaper industry is a robust creator of jobs? The only explanations I see are these - the town got suckered or there's another deal / angle that's not being disclosed.

Either way, it's always nice to start your day with a good laugh!

Hat tip to reader Walter R.

Where's The Hate?

Shank pines for those long lost bad vibes between the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox.
NEW YORK — This one had its moments.

We saw three Red Sox homers. We saw Joe Kelly throw a 102.2-mile-per-hour pitch (*) to Bunyonesque Yankee rookie Aaron Judge. (The kid fouled it off!) We saw Craig Kimbrel strike out five Yankees over 1⅓ innings (yes, five Ks in 1⅓ innings) fanning mighty Judge for the final out to preserve a 5-4 win. This means the Sox have won 11 of 15 and can pull into a first-place tie with the Yankees on Wednesday night in the Bronx.

Perhaps you are having trouble getting into a lather about Judge, Aaron Hicks, or Didi Gregorius. Don’t be ashamed. It’s great to see the Yankees and Red Sox once again dueling in the Bronx while sitting 1-2 atop the American League East, but we’re never likely to match the hostility and abject hatred from the emotionally charged days of the 1970s or in the early part of this century.
It's a pretty decent column, considering he's written major parts of it about two or three dozen times already.

(*) NOTE - On the NESN broadcast, the two radar guns at the stadium had that pitch at 103 and 104 MPH.

Tuesday, June 06, 2017

You Mad, Bro?

Shank, who rarely covers the New England Patriots in the capacity of a beat reporter, takes offense at Bill Belichick's 1,456th effort to piss off / troll the local media:

Reader reaction decisively called out the obvious double standard:

And Now For More Boston Globe Bashing - LV

Cue the sad trombone, everybody!

Sunday, June 04, 2017

Two Dan Shaughnessys In One!

Shank, before the NBA Finals started:

Shank, after Game 2 (Warriors lead the series, 2-0):

Followers are all over his trolling efforts:

Just remember - this 'journalist' used to be the Celtics beat writer for about a decade, yet he's walking away from the series already. You'd think he'd know better than to drop uninformed tweets like this one on us. If he's trying to be a smartass, it comes across poorly.

Saturday, June 03, 2017

Message Not Received

Following up on Shank's column from this afternoon, we have this Tweet:

Suffice to say, there was considerable pushback:

There's more at the first link, I'm calling this fight off on mercy rules.

The one very positive aspect of Donald Trump becoming President is the mainstreaming of national media bias. I believe a solid majority of legal US citizens are now aware that all of these national media organizations are chock full of Democrats and hard-core leftists, and now there is a fair amount of pushback.

DHL Dan LV / Let The Whining Commence

The Boston Globe ran a fair but unflattering column on Tom Brady's charity, Best Buddies, in late April of this year. Yesterday this charity held an event and kicked a Boston Globe photographer out of it. Personally speaking, I'd have kicked the son of a bitch down a set of stairs, but that's just me.

Naturally, Shank has a problem with this as he squeezes this latest New England Patriot atrocity into his most recent Picked Up Pieces column:
Picked-up pieces while waiting for the Cleveland Cavaliers to neutralize Kevin Durant and get themselves back into the Finals . . .

■ A thoroughly researched report on the relationship between a local star athlete and his favorite nonprofit charity does not constitute a “hit job.’’ Tom Brady is doing nothing illegal in his high-profile role for Best Buddies International. Brady’s considerable work for Best Buddies generates millions of dollars that the charity would not acquire if not for the currency of Tom’s fame. In exchange for his efforts, Brady — like many celebrities who work with charities — asks that a portion of the proceeds (in this case, $3 million since 2011) be paid toward Brady’s own charitable trust. Some folks are bothered by this. Most Brady fans are not. But let’s not shoot the messenger. It’s called disclosure. That’s what public charities are about. Folks who donate have a right to know where their money is going. Best Buddies does itself no favors by escorting a Globe photographer to his car when he shows up to cover Friday’s Brady Best Buddies event at Harvard Stadium. No credential? Please. A credential has never been requested because Best Buddies annually inundates every media outlet seeking for coverage of the event.
Go read the original Boston Globe column. That distinction I bolded above is not mentioned anywhere in Bob Hohler's article from seven weeks ago. This is why many people correctly perceive this article as a 'hit piece' now that another Boston Globe employee is attempting to blunt its impact by mentioning a very salient fact, and now they're trying to backpedal in a most passive - aggressive manner. I'd also like to point out that, in typical leftist Boston Globe fashion, Bob Hohler constantly mentions Tom Brady's personal wealth as well as citing others doing the same as a cudgel against him, the clear implication being 'why isn't he giving his money away?' I thought David Nyhan retired years ago?

Now for the massively hypocritical part:
There is no indication Brady was aware of this Nixonian maneuver. Nevertheless, it was hostile and petty and put a bad light on a good guy and a great charity.
Translation - Tom Brady very likely had nothing to do with it, but I'm going to devote part of my column to slam him and his charity anyway. Remember this the next time Shank professes not to hold grudges. It's human nature, but don't try to con the rest of us by saying it doesn't affect or influence your writing.

And we all remember another famous time a Boston Globe employee was not invited to an event - it shaded that employee's reporting / columns for over two decades:
What's interesting here is the italicized part above. When the New England Patriots played in their second Super Bowl in 1997, the Patriots threw a party and Shank was not invited. We believe this to be the point where Shank became a lifelong bête noire of the Patriots. If he disliked the Patriots at that point (or, more specifically, owner Robert Kraft), this snub was the proverbial nail in the coffin.
Also, as a commenter pointed out a few weeks ago, David Ortiz came out with a book on his career as a member of the Boston Red Sox and said an unflattering thing or two about the CHB. This afternoon, Shank fires back:
■ Ego-maniacal David Ortiz makes himself the hero of all of his stories in his entertaining autobiography “Papi,” written with Michael Holley. He tells us that Grady Little told him that the Sox’ everyday lineup “comes from upstairs.’’ Though he made more than $159 million in salary during his baseball career, Ortiz remembers only the contract slights, calling Theo Epstein “a real [very bad word] when it came to negotiating my contracts,’’ adding . . . “Sometimes I just wanted to shout, ‘Yo! Wake the [expletive] up. I’m the best-paid weapon you have. And I should be’ . . . I was the most underpaid player the organization ever had.’’

Ortiz on the Boston media (read - his Assholiness, Dan Shaughnessy - ed.): “Not every player wants a [expletive] in his face every single day, asking why he’s struggling. I can put up with the pressure and the doubt because that’s been my whole life, but some players don’t want the hassle of Boston when the game itself is hard enough.’’

Papi has never forgiven Terry Francona for pinch hitting for him in Toronto in April 2010. He claims Tito made a last-second decision and disrespected him. Here’s what Francona said in his book (co-authored by yours truly): “Everybody on the bench knew what was going on. There wasn’t a lot of sympathy for David because he didn’t look. We had that policy the whole time I was there. If we’re going to pinch hit for somebody, we’d ask ’em to just give us a look before going up to hit . . . everybody saw us tell David that night in Toronto, and everybody knew Mikey [Lowell] was ready to hit.’’ I was honored to be mentioned on page 193 when Ortiz wrote, “Shaughnessy was crushing me and that [very bad word] still walks around like he owns the team.’’
It's really amusing to note Shank's jihad against the New England Patriots for two decades because of a perceived / actual slight, only to have Shank criticize Ortiz for the same thing and try to squelch his response because he made $159 million, as though that's supposed to be the price of silence on the recipient's part.

Also fun to note - Shank criticizing Ortiz for having Michael Holley help him write a book... so why didn't Terry Francona write his book by himself?

This website exists because of the Richter scale hypocrisy and world-class bullshit of people like Shank.

Friday, June 02, 2017

And Now For More Boston Globe Bashing - LIV

Or, file this under Baked Goods:

Sale price of High Times Magazine, today - $70 million.

Purchase price of the Boston Globe, August 5, 2013 - $70 million.

And my contention still holds - John Henry bought real estate, not a newspaper. The newspaper is now on life support.

Basic math as well as intuition will tell you the Boston Globe is, in more than one sense, worthless. How the mighty have fallen...

Prescient Tweets, By Dan Shaughnessy

Remember this tweet from six days ago?

Looks like 'ol Shankaroni was right on the money:
Circulation of daily newspapers has dropped to a 77-year low, signaling an end to print and a shift to all-digital delivery, according to a new industry review.

The Pew Research Center said that circulation has reached a new low of 34.6 million, six million less than papers sold in 1940.
Save the trees - don't read the Boston Globe!

Fearless Predictions, By Dan Shaughnessy

Did he choose... poorly?

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

You Spelled 'Asshole' Wrong

Jared - a little less attitude and a little more professionalism is required here. Believe me, I'm not a snot by any stretch, but he despises you and all that are like you and me (and Mike, my co-blogger, who I bet he hates more!), and he will lie to you until the day he dies. He's lied / insulted you to your face before, and you just took it in the ass. Don't get sucked in by this act of his. At least I bothered to spell your name right - do you really think he'd ever extend you that basic courtesy?

UPDATE AT 7:54 PM At the 24:50 mark, Shank plays the victim / martyr. Not exactly a shock, right?

Saturday, May 27, 2017

Shank Commits Blasphemy

Can't be long now before Shank gets shitcanned!

UPDATE - Typo has been corrected.

Friday, May 26, 2017

It's Over For The Celtics

Shank writes the dirt nap for the 2016-2017 Boston Celtics.
Someday we will look back at this series and wonder exactly how the Celtics won a game and managed to throw a legitimate scare into LeBron James and the World Champion Cavaliers.

Ultimately, this series was men against boys. It was Monstars of Space Jam vs. No Stars of Boston. It was LeBron and Kyrie Irving against Kelly Olynyk and Gerald Green. What a beating.

LeBron and Co. demolished the Celts, 135-102, on Thursday to clinch the Eastern Conference finals, 4-1, to advance to a date with the Warriors in an NBA Finals rubber match that is expected to be one for the ages. It’ll be a seventh straight Finals for LeBron, who has won 13 consecutive close-out games since 2009.
...but not before he backtracks a bit:
The 2016-17 Celtic season goes into the books as a success. Brad Stevens’s fourth campaign yielded a conference-best 53 wins, playoff conquests of the Bulls and Wizards in the first two rounds, and a measure of nobility in the conference finals loss. The Celts played well in two games in Cleveland, managing to come back from a 21-point deficit to win Game 3 and racing to a 16-point lead in Game 4.

Thursday, May 25, 2017

And Now For More Boston Globe Bashing - LIII

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Backhanded Compliment

That's how Shank starts out his latest column on the Boston Celtics:
CLEVELAND — The Celtics are in the way. They are the little brother who stays in the TV room yapping all night, clueless that his big sister and her boyfriend would like to be left alone.

NBA America, ESPN, ABC, and the rest of the hoop-watching world can’t wait for the Cleveland Cavaliers and Golden State Warriors to meet in their third consecutive Finals. It’ll be Ali-Frazier III. The Spectacle at the Oracle. The Zoo at the Q. LeBron James vs. Kevin Durant.

But your No-Star Boston Celtics are still in the way. For at least one more game.
And Shank continues the attempt to deceive his reading audience:
Such is the national narrative that fuels the ever-disrespected Celtics, who started the playoff run hearing that they might be the worst No. 1 seed in NBA playoff history.
And they heard that from Shank himself, on multiple occasions:
Are these Celtics the worst No. 1-seed in postseason history, or are they a worthy lot, bound for the conference finals and perhaps capable of stunning the Cleveland Cavaliers and advancing to the NBA Finals?

Monday, May 22, 2017

I Stand Corrected

It looks like Shank did a column after all, and he leads off with a bit of hyperbole:
CLEVELAND — This was impossible.

I can’t believe what I just saw.

The Boston Celtics, on the cusp of what looked like a certain Four-Game Sweep and abject humiliation in the Eastern Conference finals, beat the Cleveland Cavaliers, 111-108, Sunday night on a last-second 3-pointer by Avery Bradley.

That’s way too simple. And there was nothing simple about any of this.

Let’s mention that the Celtics were blown out in the first two games of this series. They lost Game 2 at home by 44 points and were 16-point underdogs for Game 3. They trailed by 21 in the second half . . . And then came the ferocious comeback, capped when Bradley took a nice feed from Marcus Smart and rattled home his game-winner.
Quite the attitude change from his last two Celtics columns, isn't it?

I'll let the first Globe comment sum things up:

Pure chutzpah on your part, Tomato Can Dan. You couldn't throw the dirt on this team fast enough after game 2, and now it's like that never happened. You make politicians look honest.

Saturday, May 20, 2017

The Beatdown Continues - II

Another big loss by the Boston Celtics, another column shitting on those Celtics by Shank.
If you are a citizen of Green Team Nation, you can say it in any language and it still comes out the same.

Je suis Tomato Can.

Ich bin ein Tomato Can.

This is the 1992 Olympics and the Celtics are Angola playing the USA’s Dream Team.

The world champion Cavaliers did it to Boston again Friday, embarrassing the Celtics, 130-86, in Game 2 of the Eastern Conference finals, to take a 2-0 series lead home to Cleveland. It doesn’t seem to make any difference where the games are played. It feels like Celtics and Cavaliers could play one another until Labor Day and nothing would change. Cleveland is just better. And the Celtics, evidently, are just happy to be here. Game 2 was abject humiliation as the locals fell behind by an unthinkable 72-31 at halftime.

Thursday, May 18, 2017

The Beatdown Continues

The Boston Celtics lost Game 1 of the NBA Eastern Conference finals last night to the Cleveland Cavaliers, 117-104. You bet your ass Shank wrote about it!
What were you expecting? Brian Scalabrine announcing a run for mayor? Free cigar night on the Red Auerbach court? Larry Bird, Robert Parish, and Kevin McHale turning back the clock, walking through that door, and leading the Celtics over the World Champion Cavaliers on the way to Green Banner No. 18?


After winning a pulsating Game 7 vs. Washington on Monday, and hitting the Lottery jackpot Tuesday, the Celtics were throttled by the Cavs, 117-104, in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference finals on Wednesday night at the Garden. Don’t let the final score fool you. This was a wire-to-wire beatdown. The Celtics trailed by 28 in the third quarter.
Note how gleeful this column reads; that's my big takeaway from it. But wait - it gets better!
We said all along that just getting to the conference finals would make this Boston basketball season a success.
And what were we saying about the team last month?

Then there's this passive - aggressive sentence:
A pregame video on the big board featured clips of national commentators disrespecting the Celtics, suggesting Boston might be the worst No. 1 seed in playoff history.
What were you saying last month, Shank?
Are these Celtics the worst No. 1-seed in postseason history, or are they a worthy lot, bound for the conference finals and perhaps capable of stunning the Cleveland Cavaliers and advancing to the NBA Finals?

I think we know the answer. Today’s Celtics fall in between the two extremes. They are not total frauds reaping the benefits of the Tomato Can NBA East. But nor are they championship driven.
This son of a bitch is absolutely shameless, thinking readers will forget what he wrote a mere month ago.

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Open Mouth, Insert Foot

If anyone doubts Shank's disdain / hatred for David Ortiz isn't real or doesn't exist, this ought to remove that doubt:
Unfortunately, the audio is on iTunes, which I refuse to use now. It's already installed on my computer, yet every time I go to run one of these links, I'm prompted to re-install iTunes. I simply refuse to run any more crapware than I have to.

Back to our subject - you can tell this is 'irrational hatred', to borrow a phrase, for one reason - most rational people would give a non-native English speaker / writer a break in a matter like this one. Back in college I once had to do an oral exam in German on a subject of my choosing, no cheat sheets. Being the cocky little prick I was back in those days, I chose the subject of my final statistics project, the US dollar / German deutsche mark exchange rate. I wound up having to learn at least fifty new words for this exam, the overwhelming majority of them I know I screwed up. In any event, this lack of respect for the English skills from a non-native English speaker is reprehensible coming from a mamember of the media, who ought to know better.

Take Your Pick

It looks like Shank may have a point after all concerning 'irrational hatred' for Lebron James, or someone's not too happy with our 36th President:

And Now For More Boston Globe Bashing - LII

Sorry, former Boston Globe headquarters - we're just not into you!
Center Court Properties’ deal to acquire the 16.5-acre Boston Globe site in Dorchester for upward of $80 million has fallen through, the Boston Globe reported late Tuesday evening.

The collapsed deal marks the second time a potential buyer of the longtime Boston Globe headquarters has walked away from an acquisition deal. In early 2015, Concord-based Winstanley Enterprises pulled out of an agreement to buy the newspaper company's Dorchester site.
My dream of this building becoming dormitories for UMass-Boston gets another step closer...

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Oh, The Irony

This is one of two things - either Shank is painfully unaware of certain things, or he's just trolling us now:

My vote is for the latter - he's been milking this theme at least once a year for a couple of years now, most likely in response to a few hysterical Sports Hub callers. Stealing themes from this local radio station is also not exactly a news flash. It takes a certain level of gumption for Shank, a black belt in petty vindictiveness and character assassination, to then accuse others of 'irrational hatred' of an athlete on another team. Are we really supposed to rub LeBron's balls in buttermilk every time he makes a trip to the Garden, Shank?

The One Where Shank Pretends To Like The Celtics Again

After writing three successive columns eager to discuss Celtics losses in Games 3, 4 and 6, we are now treated to a column Shank was forced to write, win or lose. Let the Shankisms fly!
Bring on LeBron.

Isaiah Thomas (29 points) is the Baby-Faced Assassin (*), Kelly Olynyk (26) is Dirk Nowitzki, the Celtics have advanced to the Eastern Conference finals and suddenly, in the immortal words of Kevin Garnett . . . anything’s possible.

Maybe the ping-pong balls, for once, will fall Boston’s way Tuesday and the Celts will have the No. 1 selection in the draft for the first time since their top pick yielded Robert Parish and Kevin McHale in the infamous Red Auerbach swap with the Warriors in 1980.

Maybe the Celts can put up a fight against King James and the World Champion Cavs in a best-of-seven that starts Wednesday on Causeway Street. Maybe the Sons of Brad Stevens can make it all the way to the NBA Finals and win banner 18 several years ahead of schedule.
A proforma Shank game recap follows with a few more clichés, with all the quality of a mailed-in column.

One more quote, just for good measure:
With the Bruins done for the spring and the Red Sox staggering out of town, it’s a good time for the Celtics to be playing deep into the playoffs. The hard-fought second-round win over Washington buys at least four more games and maybe a couple more weeks of high-octane basketball. The Celts will be going Nike-to-Nike with LeBron and the whole basketball world will be watching. The 2016-17 Celtics season is hereby deemed a success. Anything good that happens now is just gravy.
Just a guess - there will be some level of backtracking on this proclamation within the next few weeks.

(*) - Someone hung this moniker on Shank himself early in his career at the Globe, as it became apparent that the subject of Shank's columns were more like assassination targets.

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Bitch, Bitch, Bitch

Shank didn't like the pace of today's Red Sox / Rays game (which clocked in at about 4h 20m by my count):

He has a point - this was a tough game to watch. However, when you've spent the overwhelming part of your career trashing & destroying professional athletes, in addition to ignoring the steroid problem in baseball until it was bloody obvious to everybody else, it's nearly impossible to take genuine criticisms seriously.

Papi Don't Preach

Reader Melissa H. sends along a note about David Ortiz's recently released book:
Heh, see the snipe at CHB in the review of David Ortiz's new book? :)
Before we get to that, let's take a peek at the beginning of the column:
The first page of the introduction to “Papi’’ summarizes the significance of David Ortiz, according to David Ortiz. He says he would one day “accumulate more home runs, hits, runs scored, and runs batted in than any DH in history.” Beyond that, “I cursed terrorists and spoke up for freedom without fear.”

Thus runs Ortiz’s freewheeling, insider memoir, written with the help of longtime sports journalist and radio personality Michael Holley. Two warnings: Those who prefer their profanities out of earshot might consider covering their eyes through parts of this book and those looking for a salacious tell-all will be disappointed.
Now, then - what kind of a beta male pansy would get his knickers in a twist over a few F-bombs?
Bill Littlefield hosts NPR’s “Only A Game” on WBUR. His most recent book is “Take Me Out” from Zephyr Press.
Oh, an NPR / WBUR kind of pansy / snob!

Anyway, let's get back to some Shank bashing!
It’s no surprise that Ortiz resents the sportswriters who asked him about performance-enhancing drugs (which he vehemently denies ever using), particularly the Globe’s Dan Shaughnessy, “that [expletive] still walks around like he owns the team.”
There may be more to Papi's criticism of Shank; since this clown Littlefield's writing for the Globe, that's all we'll get for now on any criticism of a Globe employee.

Three Game Streak

That's how many consecutive columns Shank has written after a Celtics loss.
Celtics rookie Tommy Heinsohn scored 37 points with 23 rebounds before fouling out in double overtime of a Game 7 championship win. John Havlicek stole the ball in Game 7. Boston fans chanted “Beat LA” in Game 7. Cedric Maxwell said, “Hop on my back, boys,’’ in Game 7. Larry Bird and Dominique Wilkins had their famous shootout in Game 7. The final game of Bird’s career was a Game 7. And young LeBron James once scored 45 points in a Game 7 loss at the New Garden.

Bill Russell played in 10 Game 7s and won ’em all.

“That’s, I guess, when legends are born,’’ guard Isaiah Thomas said Friday after the Celtics’ Game 6 loss in Washington.
Later in the column, Shank mounts his high horse Shetland pony and blasts the Celtics players for showing up for Friday's game in Washington wearing all black. I suppose that's better fashion sense than Shank ever had.

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Political Tweets, By Dan Shaughnessy

Aside from the fact that Richard Nixon never fired an FBI director, this tweet's totally accurate!

Reality Check

What a surprise - another Celtics column by Shank, after they've lost two games in a row!
It’s a war of worlds as we prepare for Celtics-Wizards Game 5 Wednesday night at the Garden.

It’s Planet Green Team vs. Planet Reality.

Planet Green Team vs. Planet Reality is more than Isaiah Thomas vs. John Wall. It’s more than Kelly Olynyk vs. Kelly Oubre Jr. It is a clash of cultures and perceptions. It’s two groups of folks who view the same basketball games and come away with wildly different conclusions.
Here's the DSW reality check - Shank is all but incapable of writing about local professional sports teams, managers and / or ownership groups in a non-disparaging fashion. He's also still stealing material from the Felger & Mazz radio show (the aforementioned reference to the Green Team - originally the 1986 Boston Celtics bench players and now a reference to fans of the Celtics).

Monday, May 08, 2017

Where's Waldo Shaughnessy?

A commenter wonders:
where was this fraud when the celts went up 2-0 he was no where to be found what a fraud
You must be new around here, Anonymous - Shank saves his 'best efforts' for when the local team loses in embarrassing fashion!
WASHINGTON — This is one goofy playoff series.

LeBron James must be very, very confused.

Seriously. Which team do you think LeBron wants to play in the conference finals?

I’m guessing he’d rather play the Celtics than the Wizards. What do you think?

It’s always a mistake, of course, to read too much into your last memory. It was Pat Riley who first said a playoff series doesn’t start until the road team wins a game. Blowouts do not necessarily carry over. But even Tommy Heinsohn will have a hard time putting lipstick on the pig that the Celtics were in their two playoff losses at the Verizon Center.

Familiar Subject Matter - II

When the subject matter involves hate, strife and conflict, Shank bangs out another column which almost seems to write itself.
Hard feelings, hard fouls, and hard-core brawls have been part of our professional sports rivalries for more than a century. Posters of Jason Varitek smashing his catcher’s mitt into Alex Rodriguez’s face adorn half the bars in Boston, and Celtics fans still speak fondly of the day Kevin McHale altered a playoff series with his full-speed clothesline tackle of Lakers forward Kurt Rambis.

New England fans in the last two weeks have seen ballplayers throwing deadly objects at other players’ heads, a bull rush/smackdown on a hardwood court, dust-ups where guys are pulling other guys away from conflict, and a nonstop narrative of “your mother wears army boots.’’

All that, and it’s not even hockey season here in the Hub.
Nice touch, that last one!

Friday, May 05, 2017

Familiar Subject Matter

Shank devotes his latest column, ostensibly about Game 3 of the Boston Celtics / Washington Wizards, to a familiar theme.
Celtics, Wizards bring the hate in Game 3

WASHINGTON — The Celtics and Wizards hate each other almost as much as the Red Sox and Orioles. And they’re going to have to play at least two more times, probably more.

The Wizards blasted the Celtics in more ways than one Thursday night at the Verizon Center. Washington raced to its traditional early big lead, but this time kept going and routed the Green, 116-89, cutting Boston’s series lead to two games to one. The angry rivals meet again Sunday night.

Thursday, May 04, 2017

Passed Ball

The Globe's been messing with Shank's timeline the past couple of days, so I just stumbled upon this column on Orioles manager Buck Showalter.
You think Buck Showalter hates the Red Sox, right?

The Orioles manager never passes on a chance to tweak the globally famous, big-payroll Red Sox. In the spring of 2011, Buck famously said, “ . . . I like whipping their butt.’’ Just last month he mocked the Sox for complaining about the flu (“The Red Sox are the only ones who have it, huh?”), and we remember last weekend when Buck pointedly talked of his own team’s “courage” for not retaliating after the Sox completely botched their attempt to punish Manny Machado for a questionable slide into Dustin Pedroia.
And in typical Shaughnessy fashion, he just needs to point out...
Oh, and let’s not forget late September 2011, when Buck’s last-place Orioles put the cherry on top of the Red Sox’ epic collapse (remember the “greatest team ever?”) which resulted in the departures of Theo Epstein, Terry Francona, Jonathan Papelbon, Tim Wakefield, Jason Varitek, J.D. Drew, Heidi Watney, and ultimately Carl Crawford and Adrian Gonzalez. Those rag-tag Orioles beat the Sox in the final two games at Camden Yards and sent the Sox reeling toward three last-place finishes in four seasons. Tito still grouses about Buck insisting on using the large press room for his postgame media session (“for those three writers still covering the Orioles’’), forcing Francona to face his firing squad in a dank underbelly corridor outside the visitors’ clubhouse.

Tuesday, May 02, 2017


See what happens when you wake up late? You miss Shank regurgitating the one column he wrote last week.

Sunday, April 30, 2017

Shank On The Sox-Cubs Series

After taking nearly a week off from his last grueling column, Shank gets around to cover this weekend's series at Fenway Park. A decent column, largely bereft of the usual Shank staples of negative remarks, personal attacks and the usual stuff that make his columns unpleasant to read.
Can the Cubs stay here a few more days? If this really is a 2017 World Series preview (a lofty goal for the teetering Local Nine, I’ll admit), the Cracker Jack-eating baseball world should be very happy.

“This is good for the industry,’’ Cubs manager Joe Maddon said Saturday after a 7-4 win over the Red Sox. “This has been playoff-like baseball with two really good teams playing the game properly.’’
It’s all true. The series has lived up to its billing. And for two days, all the rage has been sucked out of Fenway.

Strange days, indeed.
Nice to have 'the rage' sucked out of this column, isn't it?

Friday, April 28, 2017

And Now For More Boston Globe Bashing - LI

Who knew Boston Globe baseball writers were such ass kissers?

By all means - let's give out a plaque in the Baseball Hall of Fame to somebody for merely writing about baseball. Oh, wait...

Monday, April 24, 2017

Shank Writes A Positive Celtics Column

Enjoy it while it lasts:
CHICAGO — The Celtics thrashed the Bulls yet again Sunday night, this time by a score of 104-95, and now appear in total control of a series that is knotted, 2-2.

What gives, you ask? How could the top-seeded Celtics have looked so bad losing twice at home, then come to Chicago and rout the Bulls early and often in back-to-back games?

The conventional answer, of course, would be the fact that Rajon Rondo broke his right thumb in Game 2 in Boston and was on the bench tripping opponents and being his usual pouty self all weekend. It turns out Rondo is more valuable to the Bulls than Jimmy Butler, Dwyane Wade, or Robin Lopez. Maybe more than Jordan in the old days. Perhaps there’ll be a Rondo statue outside the United Center someday. Clearly, he is The Franchise.
Not too much sarcasm there...

Interesting to note - the last three Shank columns did not have a comments section in any of them. It seems like that's an on-again, off-again Globe policy.

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Dignity Restored

That's how Shank described Friday night's win by the Boston Celtics:
CHICAGO — This was so much better. The Celtics did not quit. They weathered the inevitable storm. Marcus Smart didn’t give any fans the finger. The Celts did not play like the worst No. 1 seed in NBA history. They were not frauds.

The Celtics restored their dignity and got back into their first-round series with a gut-check, 104-87 Game 3 victory over the Chicago Bulls on Friday night. That should stop the noise. For a while, anyway.
By which Shank means he will not rip them until their next loss.

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Dump Delayed - II

Continuing with that positive, upbeat vibe that is Shank:

Too bad there's really no way to check that sort of thing!

Dump Delayed - I

You knew these were coming sooner or later (1 of 2):

Reader response is as expected:

Odd Column

I was expecting Shank to take a world class dump on the Celtics after losing Game 2 of their first round playoff series. Instead, Shank snipes at the Patriots and President Trump.
WASHINGTON — Of all the weird days in Boston sports over the decades, this might have been the weirdest.

Wednesday afternoon, the Super Bowl champion New England Patriots went to the White House to visit a polarizing president who practically made the team one of his platform planks in the final days of the most stunning election of our time.

Patriots owner Bob Kraft and coach Bill Belichick have made no secret of their respect for and allegiance to President Trump, but several New England players boycotted the White House trip for political or personal reasons. Just a few hours before the team met with Trump in the Oval Office, Tom Brady sent word that he would not make it because of “personal family matters’’ (his ill mother reportedly was visiting him in Boston).

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Old Time Hockey

It's funny how Shank only seems to write Bruins playoff columns after a loss, isn't it?
It was shaping up as a perfect Marathon Monday.

Postcard weather. A seamless 26-mile Boston Strong race with the usual thousands of feel-good/inspirational stories. A third straight win for the Red Sox at Fenway. And finally . . . the Bruins brought the NHL playoffs back to the Garden and recovered from a 3-0 second-period deficit against the Ottawa Senators.

But they could not finish. The Bruins battled back to a 3-3 tie, and gave us some great hockey, only to lose in the sixth minute of overtime on a power-play goal by Bobby Ryan after a cheesy
roughing penalty
on Bruins forward Riley Nash. Garden fans peppered the ice with water bottles to show their disgust with the zebras. Ottawa leads the series, two games to one.

It had been more than 1,000 days since the last Stanley Cup tournament game at the Garden and this is not the way we visualized the Bruins’ return to the playoffs.
I can count the number of this year's Bruins columns by Shank on one hand, and he wants us to buy that load of crap?

Friday, April 14, 2017

Recycled Column Watch

Shank tells his readers what a freaking awesome city Boston is at this time of the year:
No . . . Days . . . Off.

Repeat that nine times. Just like Bill Belichick at the Patriots Super Bowl rally.

No . . . Days . . . Off. That’s the theme around here for Boston sports fans. We have a glut of goodies in front of us in these next two or three weeks.

Just take a look at this upcoming Sunday/Monday. In a 28-hour period starting Sunday night, you can watch the Celtics vs. the Bulls in the playoffs (6:30 p.m. Sunday at the Garden), the Red Sox and the Rays at Fenway (11:05 a.m. Monday), the finish of the 121st Boston Marathon (around 1:10 Monday afternoon on Boylston Street), and the Bruins in Game 3 against Ottawa at the Garden (7 p.m. Monday).
If you think you're read this column before, it's because you did!
Picked-up pieces while waiting for Larry Lucchino to return a phone call . . .

Is your head spinning? The Sox are off and running. The Celtics and Bruins are readying for the playoffs. Tiger is getting ready to wear the red shirt at the Masters. Two Connecticut schools battled for the NCAA hockey championship in Pittsburgh Saturday night. The Red Sox play the major league’s only morning-start game on Monday and our city is peppered with folks from around the world who are here to watch and run in the 117th Boston Marathon.

Celtics vs. Knicks in the first round of the playoffs? Bring it on! This amounts to a marquee matchup in an ever-diluted playoff spring. These staggering Celtics always can get into the heads of the Knicks. Carmelo Anthony is an overrated ball hog who never will win an NBA championship.

Thursday, April 13, 2017

You Aren't What Your Record Says You Are

Leave it to Shank to lay down the negative take on the Boston Celtics grabbing the #1 seed in the Eastern Conference.
Fast forward six decades to the New Garden, where the 53-win, top-seeded Celtics will open the playoffs Sunday against old friend Rajon Rondo and the eighth-seeded Chicago Bulls. So here’s the question: Are these Celtics the worst No. 1-seed in postseason history, or are they a worthy lot, bound for the conference finals and perhaps capable of stunning the Cleveland Cavaliers and advancing to the NBA Finals?

I think we know the answer. Today’s Celtics fall in between the two extremes. They are not total frauds reaping the benefits of the Tomato Can NBA East. But nor are they championship driven.
I think Shank is the kind of guy who can only say something nice to one person - his wife.

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Asshole Sports Media

It's always good to plan ahead, isn't it?

Alive And Kicking

Looks like our old pal 'Objective'Bruce is still at it.

Sunday, April 09, 2017


Even Shank realizes he can't take a week off without doing something that resembles work, so we're blessed with another Picked Up Pieces column.
Picked-up pieces while trying to decide which of our winter sports teams will play longer into the postseason.

■ It’s been a bad few days for the Celtics. Clearly, the world champion Cleveland Cavaliers are the Celtics’ daddy. The C’s were appropriately spanked Wednesday after the Cavs were informed that a weeknight regular-season game in Boston was some kind of a test of Cleveland’s championship mettle. Thursday night’s subsequent flop in Atlanta was yet another reminder that the Celtics are a long, long way from being championship-caliber.
They have only one scorer and he’s 5 feet 9 inches. They have a thin bench and get outrebounded on a regular basis. Getting to the conference finals with this bunch would be a miracle. Here’s hoping the Green Teamers don’t try to tell us the season is a success if they bow out again in the first round.

■ Granted, I don’t watch a ton of hockey, but I’m pretty sure Patrice Bergeron has never lost a faceoff.
Idiot. That's where I stopped reading this mailed-in shit column.

Monday, April 03, 2017

It's Opening Day

...and Shank is right on it:
History and ubiquitous connections to the past make it special to live in Boston. There’s very little that’s truly new. Almost nothing stands alone as its own entity.

And so it is with the ritual that is the Opening Day of the baseball season here in the Hub of the Universe.

The Pittsburgh Pirates are the Red Sox’ opponent for the franchise’s 117th Opening Day, and this represents only the third time in history that the Pirates have traveled to Boston to play the Sox. The Pirates were here in 1903 for the first World Series and they were here in 2005 for one of these goofy interleague series, which still seem silly and unnecessary. And now the Pirates are here through Thursday to face a Red Sox team that is universally favored to win the American League East for a second straight season.

The Red Sox won 93 games last year, but the season ended badly and quickly when Terry Francona’s Cleveland Indians smoked the Sox in three straight Division Series games. The takeaway from that final week of an otherwise good Red Sox season: In their final nine games, the Sox had eight losses, five David Ortiz celebrations, and an early exit from the tournament.
That's what I like about Shank - always accentuating the positive and looking at the bright side of things!