Tuesday, November 21, 2017

DHL Dan LXI - The Really Awesome Patriots!

Who amongst you out there believes a single word of this?
The Patriots are a team unlike any other team, playing in a league unlike any other league. They have changed the concept of spectator sports for us, extracting the time-tested notion of what might happen on any given Sunday. For Patriots fans, every week is Groundhog Week.

I got out of bed Monday morning to the sound of radio guys talking about how great the Patriots are and how stupid the Raiders were on Sunday. I heard that the Patriots are 17-point favorites against the Miami Dolphins this Sunday at Gillette. I picked up the morning rags and saw where Tom Brady is being compared to Michelangelo. I heard humble Tom deflecting all credit on his contractually obligated weekly radio gig. I heard more radio commentary where hosts submitted an edgy, hot-take poll question forcing Pats fans to make a choice:

1. Are the Patriots awesome?

Or . . .

2. Are the Patriots, like, really awesome?
Covering and writing about the Patriots must have become boring for Shank, so he'll try to fool the rubes with a few phony suck-up columns.

Sunday, November 19, 2017

Flaw In The Argument Spotted

When you have to point out that Jay Cutler not playing next week to prove your point, you should reexamine your logic.

Some followers weren't buying it:

Thursday, November 16, 2017

What's Old Is New Again

Apparently Shank's weekly appearances on Zo and Bertrand isn't the only place where he reuses recent column themes:

And, of course, Shank doesn't appear to quote Sun Tzu - it's more like the Napoleon Bonaparte quote may have aped a Sun Tzu quote, but that's it. Second - I have trouble believing Shank's read The Art of War or much of anything else.

All Aboard!

The Boston Celtics have won thirteen games in a row. Guess who's now jumping on the bandwagon?
The Celtics in Boston at this hour are more popular than free food. They are the biggest story in the NBA, their TV ratings are off the charts, and we cover them the way Fox News covers Donald Trump, the way CNN covered Barack Obama.
You're not supposed to acknowledge media bias, Shank! Didn't they teach you that at Holy Cross?
Never is heard a discouraging word. Normally skeptical reporters turn to jelly around this team. Everything is awesome. We are all Baghdad Bobs. We are all Tommy Heinsohn.

Je suis Johnny Most.
Impressive command of the French language!
Truth be told, it has me a little off my game.

The scalding Celtics play the world champion Warriors at the Garden Thursday, and New England is agog. The Celtics have won 13 in a row and the Warriors are the greatest team on the planet, perhaps the best ever assembled. Our parquet floor is suddenly the center of the NBA universe. Everything is coming up Green.
I wonder if Shank's ever heard of the 1986 Celtics?
Decades of covering teams in this town have trained me to be cynical.
No, you're just a natural born asshole.
Lord knows we’ve had a lot of championships, but there’s usually some case to be made about questionable coaching, nasty personalities in the locker room, buffoonery in the owner’s box, or a team that is more lucky than good.
And we'll always have Cynical Shank to point all of these negative things out

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

More Tomato Can Misinformation

Here's Shank yesterday morning:

One commenter blew that one right out of the water:

I'm willing to bet that if you look here from this point forward, to the end of the regular season, this point will be borne out. Remember that Shank first started using the 'tomato can' insult against the other three teams in the AFC East division (Buffalo, Miami and the New York Jets). He's since expanded it to include all NFL teams not named the New England Patriots. I'm not sure if Shank would continue to use the phrase even if you hit him over the head with these numbers (because he hates numbers), but I wouldn't put it past him.

There's also a commenter here that pointed this out - this fact (AFC East win totals being greater than all others) has held for the past ten years (the end year being 2015 or 2016) even if you adjust for removing the Patriots / other top division winner from this total. Unfortunately I can't find that post right now. To some extent, Shank is oblivious to certain facts, especially the numeric ones.

Monday, November 13, 2017

Meeting The Deadline

When you're out in Denver with a deadline to meet, this is how you do it - write the majority of the column beforehand, adding unconfirmed speculation to make it interesting:
DENVER — Pay attention, Patriots fans.

You want Bill Belichick to stick around? I think I have the solution.

Belichick is climbing the ladder of NFL coaching legends. The Patriots’ stunningly easy 41-16 victory over the once-tough Denver Broncos Sunday night was Bill’s 270th career win, tying him with Cowboys legend Tom Landry for third place on the all-time list. The only guys ahead of him are George Halas (324) and Don Shula (347), whom Belichick hates.
...insert a paragraph or two of predictable responses by coach Bill Belichick:
An hour after it was over, I tried and failed to get Bill to talk about the meaning of his new ranking among the elite NFL coaches.

“Look, it’s flattering, but honestly, I don’t think that’s the story tonight,’’ he answered. “The story tonight is the way our team performed. To win games in this league you need great players and I’ve been fortunate to have some great players and a lot of great assistant coaches and great staffs. That’s really what it’s about. The players are the ones that make the plays and they did it tonight.’’
...and voila!

Saturday, November 11, 2017

The Shaughnessy Conundrum

Does Shank continue last year's fake Patriots praise and tell you how awesome the team is, or does he fall back on the tried and true 'tomato can' defense?
“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.’’

— Napoleon Bonaparte
Who knew Shank was a history buff?
DENVER — Here we are. Midseason. The Patriots are coming off their bye week, and everything is teed up for another Super Bowl run.
Despite all the stuff that has happened to the Patriots, they have the best record in the AFC (6-2, tied with Pittsburgh, but who ever worries about them?) and the best path to Super Bowl LII in Minneapolis.

Once again, while the Patriots were not playing, everything that could possibly help them is what happened. The Chiefs lost to the Cowboys. The Bills lost to the Jets. The Dolphins lost to the Raiders. The Ravens lost to the Titans. The Texans lost their young star quarterback. Green Bay gave up on tight end Martellus Bennett, who was quickly snapped up by the Patriots.


Little Tomato Cans sitting in a row. They all fall down.

Thursday, November 09, 2017

It Begins

As noted many times in the previous weeks, Shank's 'pretend to like the Patriots' act has finally run its course:
There's no 'which is it?' - the fans hate the media, simple as that. Then I look at the comments and confirm this 'theory':

Wednesday, November 08, 2017

This Will Be Good For A Few Shank Columns

Due out in a few months - The Two Bills, an ESPN 30 for 30 documentary on NFL coaches Bill Parcells and Bill Belichick:
When Parcells stepped down as Jets coach after the 1999 season, he planned to have Belichick succeed him, but the day after Parcells announced his departure as coach, Belichick surprised the team by promptly announcing his resignation to a shocked media. He went to the Patriots and the rest is history.

“The Two Bills” trailer aired during the “Nature Boy” film and will premiere sometime this winter. With the cooperation of NFL Films, “The Two Bills” includes interviews with Giants legend Harry Carson and Hall of Fame linebacker Lawrence Taylor, who said Belichick should have followed Parcells as Giants head coach.

The documentary brings Parcells and Belichick together in one room for a rare interview. We’ll see how cordial the two Bills are after all of the history between them.
I'm guessing 'next to none'!

There's one question I think we agree ought to be asked - which Bill ordered the disinvite to Shank on that Patriots / Green Bay Packers Super Bowl Party?
What's interesting here is the italicized part above. When the New England Patriots played in their second Super Bowl in 1997, the Patriots threw a party and Shank was not invited. We believe this to be the point where Shank became a lifelong bΓͺte noire of the Patriots. If he disliked the Patriots at that point (or, more specifically, owner Robert Kraft), this snub was the proverbial nail in the coffin.

Friday, November 03, 2017

World Series Wrapup

Shank takes the 2017 World Series seven game victory by the Houston Astros to tell the readers of his own favorite World Series matchups. The pictures in the article are nothing more than self-aggrandizement.

This will shock precisely no one reading this, but of the ten he mentions, one involved a Red Sox win (2004) and two others involved Red Sox losses (1975 and 1986).

Stupid Patriots Tweets, By Dan Shaughnessy

As the New England Patriots enjoy their bye week, Shank stirs the pot one or two more times:

The Patriots have beaten the Texans like rented mules for the past three or four years, but Shank's trying to convince everybody that they're the real deal? What a hack!

Thursday, November 02, 2017

The Predictable, Parochial Shaughnessy

Sometimes you read columns by Shank and your only reaction is to shake your head and go on to something far more worthwhile. After LA won Game 6 of the World Series, Shank comes out with a perfectly lame and predictable column:
LOS ANGELES — And so we will have a seventh game.

Could this Fall Classic have ended any other way?

Wonder who will be the World Series’ new “Mr. November”?

The staggered and stunned Los Angeles Dodgers recovered from Game 5 trauma (a 13-12 loss in 10 innings) and beat Justin Verlander, 3-1, Tuesday night to square this 113th World Series at three games apiece. The 101-win Houston Astros and the 104-win Dodgers will meet in the ultimate game Wednesday night at Chavez Ravine.

The ’Stros, a team born the same year Dodger Stadium was built, will be trying to lift hurricane-ravaged Houston with the city’s first World Series championship.

The vaunted Dodgers, hardball royalty for more than a century, are looking for their first championship in 29 years.

And no one has any idea how any of it will turn out.
Once Game 7 was won by the Houston Astros, Shank comes out with this beauty. Did you know the real underlying theme of the series? It's all about New England!
LOS ANGELES — The Houston Astros won their first World Series title with a 5-1, Game 7 victory over the Dodgers at Wednesday night at Dodger Stadium.

The 113th Fall Classic featured a record 25 home runs, two unforgettable extra-inning games, and brought happiness and hope to a city devastated by Hurricane Harvey in August.
Now I am going to tell you how this epic clash was actually all about New England. It was about the Red Sox. It was about the Boston baseball experience.

Let us count the ways:
No, we won't. To me, this is pure unprofessional garbage. That Shank is simply too classless to set his massively oversized ego aside and give the Houston Astros their due is an insult to this reader and a lot of other readers. Unless we're reading just to say 'Yup - typical asshole / provincial Shaughnessy'.

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Shank Has It All Figured Out

That's what he wants us to think:

A few followers can't read / disagree with this assessment:

Why, yes. Yes we do!

Monday, October 30, 2017

The One Where I Agree With Shank

When he's right, he's right:
HOUSTON — Best World Series game ever?

Best World Series ever?

Or just a demonstration of bad pitching, juiced baseballs, and homer-happy ballparks?

A World Series is not supposed to have a Game For The Ages twice within a span of five days, but the 2017 Fall Classic already ranks as one of the best ever played and we still have one or two games left.

The Houston Astros, trying to win the first championship in the history of a franchise born in 1962, outlasted the Los Angeles Dodgers, 13-12, in 10 innings Sunday night/Monday morning to take a three-games-to-two lead in the 113th World Series, which resumes Tuesday at Dodger Stadium.
Did you know that this game had a local angle? Of course you did!
So there. The balls are juiced, the games are too long, and baseball is putting on a show unlike any other in an event that started at Boston’s Huntington Grounds back in 1903. That series was a best-of-nine, won, 5-3, by Boston. May I suggest the Dodgers and ’Stros make this a best-of-nine? Or best of 19?

Oh, and pushing the local angle a bit, I can tell you that Houston fans were chanting “Beat LA, Beat LA” when they poured out of Minute Maid Park while you were sleeping Monday morning.
Yep - it's all about Boston!

Sunday, October 29, 2017

Patriots Tweets, By Dan Shaughnessy

At least Shank is sparing us the 'tomato can' / 'double score' shtick somewhat:

Well, if I recall correctly, Novak (Chargers kicker) was never known for long-distance field goals.

Saturday, October 28, 2017

The Obligatory World Series Game 3 Column

Shank half-heartedly bangs out a World Series column.
HOUSTON — An Ode To The ’Stros.

The World Series returned to Houston Friday and the resurgent Astros thumped the Dodgers, 5-3, to take a two-games-to-one lead in the 113th World Series.

Lord knows there’s a lot to love about the Astros this year.

Let’s start with the obvious:
Yep, go read a Globe sports columnist for obvious takes.

Thursday, October 26, 2017

And Now For More Former Boston Globe Employee Bashing

Look who's whining about the cost of inflight wifi - none other than the grandfather of fake news!
Have you considered reading a book during the flight instead, Mr. Barnicle, say some work of fiction by a writer about how a local mobster 'kept the drugs out of Southie'?

World Series Game 2 Recap

Looks like Shank's making up for his no-show column for Game 1.
LOS ANGELES — Baseball wins. It is 1975 all over again.

The Houston Astros and Los Angeles Dodgers, tied 1-1, will resume the 113th World Series at Minute Maid Park Friday night. But before we go there, we must pay homage to what happened at Chavez Ravine Wednesday night.

It was without doubt one of the greatest World Series games ever played. It shook the foundation of the beautiful ballpark built by the O’Malleys in 1962.
I think that's kind of a stretch. From there, it's the standard game recap and a ton of Red Sox 1975 World Series references, which seems to be his primary motivation in writing this column.

The Obligatory Rich Hill Column

You're getting a column from Shank only because the Dodgers' starting pitcher for Game 2 is a local boy.
LOS ANGELES — The kid from the Bay State League, the kid who grew up playing on Cunningham Park in Milton, started Game 2 of the World Series Wednesday night at Dodger Stadium.

Thirty-seven-year-old Rich Hill — a guy who pitched for the Cubs, Orioles, Red Sox, Indians, Angels, Yankees, A’s, and yes, even the Long Island Ducks just two years ago — got the ball for the Dodgers against Houston’s Justin Verlander.

Hill pitched four perilous innings and picked up a no-decision in a game the Astros won, 7-6, in 11 innings. The pride of Milton allowed one run on three hits and three walks while striking out seven. Hill threw only 60 pitches, but evidently manager Dave Roberts did not want to give Houston batters a third go-around vs. the Dodgers lefthander. The Dodgers were hitless vs. Verlander in the first four frames and it looked like runs were going to be at a premium in Game 2.

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

'Working' Vacation?

The Boston Globe sent Shank out to Los Angeles, allegedly to cover the baseball World Series. The Dodgers beat the Astros last night, 3-1.

Did Shank write a column about it? Hell, no!

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Math Be Hard

Ah, the thrills of listening to 'hard core LA baseball fans':

It All Makes Sense Now

From the looks of it, Shank's in LA to cover the World Series, and his conversations are as forward looking as you'd expect:

When I threw this by my roommate, he quipped - 'they (the Globe) wanted him out of Boston'.

Combined age of Shaughnessy and King = 147 years.

Pro Tip To Alex Cora

Shank on the last guy he said he would never rip, exactly three years ago today:
I promise never to rip Sandoval for being out of shape or going on the disabled list.
Shank, about fifteen minutes ago:
If / when the Red Sox go on a four game losing streak, that will change suddenly enough.

The Cooler Gets Shelved

Fewer things get Shank revved up and ready to write like taking a dump on a former member of the Boston Red Sox.
LOS ANGELES — The World Series is back in Los Angeles.

The Cooler is not.

According to the Los Angeles Times, Adrian Gonzalez is vacationing with his family in Europe as the Dodgers play in their first World Series 29 years. He went on the disabled list with a back injury Sept. 28 and has not been seen since that day. He still has a year left on a contract that pays him $21.5 million.
Does anyone think his salary would be mentioned if Gonzo was making $5 million? Yeah, me neither.
It’s probably a good thing for the Dodgers. Gonzalez, after all, is The Cooler. He rides shotgun with bad karma.

Red Sox fans certainly remember Gonzalez. He was the sweet-swinging middle-of-the-lineup guy who inspired Theo Epstein to trade prospect Anthony Rizzo to San Diego after the 2010 season.
Remember when Shank was singing his praises? Ancient history.

By the way that last link was the third column in successive days that Shank wrote, practically fellating the guy.
In Boston, Gonzalez was the sour clubhouse contrarian who complained about Sunday night games, said it was “God’s will’’ when the Sox perpetrated the greatest choke in September history, then explained the 2011 chicken-and-beer fiasco by saying, “A man’s got to eat.’’
Read the rest of the column. It's one of the decent columns he's written recently, and the only reason it's good is that he gets to take shots and otherwise write in negative terms about a former member of the Red Sox. It's the only time he seems engaged in his writing.

Shank On The New Red Sox Manager

Alex Cora is the newest manager of the Boston Red Sox. Shank talks to his good friend, former Red Sox manager Terry Francona, about the recent hiring.
LOS ANGELES — Terry Francona managed Alex Cora for 3½ seasons in Boston. He knows that Cora can be a good major league manager in Boston. But he’s reluctant to talk about Cora while Major League Baseball asks the Red Sox, the Astros, and Cora to refrain from commenting during the World Series.

“I told guys on Sunday that I wouldn’t comment on this because of the Boston thing,’’ Francona said from Cleveland Monday. “Just because it’s Boston I don’t need to be sticking my nose in there.’’

OK, then. What about Dave Roberts, I wondered? The manager of the Dodgers has a lot in common with Cora, who is still employed as the Astros’ bench coach for this World Series.

Like Cora, Roberts played for Francona in Boston and won a World Series with the Red Sox. Like Cora, Roberts was one of those “glue” bench players that Francona liked having in his clubhouse. Like Cora, Roberts got his managing job at a young age without having experience in the majors or minors. Like Cora, Roberts was thrust into a major media market with a big payroll and great expectations. Like Cora, Roberts was his franchise’s first minority manager.

Monday, October 23, 2017

A Tale Of Two Tweets

Knowing that he can't continue to recycle columns, lest it become painfully obvious, Shank resorts to posting tweets during the early part of the Falcons / Patriots game last night:

Either the score became 21-0 within minutes of the opening kickoff or Shank's trying to have it both ways, again.

Saturday, October 21, 2017

Low Hanging Fruit

It didn't take much imagination or effort to write this column - just ape the two you wrote after the last Super Bowl.
The Atlanta Falcons play the Super Bowl champion New England Patriots Sunday night at Gillette Stadium.

We do not take the Falcons seriously. We pity them. We feel sorry for them. They are scarred and their city is scarred and they will never recover from what the Patriots did to them — and what they did to themselves — in Super Bowl LI in Houston 8½ months ago.

The Falcons met the fate that has awaited so many other Patriot opponents. They were pantsed. They were embarrassed in front of the world. They had a younger, faster team. They dominated the Patriots. They put themselves in position to win their first Super Bowl.

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Milking It, By Dan Shaughnessy - Gordon Hayward Edition

This is the first time I can recall Shank writing about a Celtics opening night. It's simply an exercise for him to remind his reading audience how much this year's going to SUCK for the Celtics now that Hayward's out for a very long time.
The Celtics are a certified Boston brand, no less than the Pops, the Swan Boats, or the cream pie at the Parker House. They have brought 17 championships and global fame to our town and their first Garden game traditionally has been a feel-good date on the local sports calendar. Through the decades, the Garden opener has been a night for raising banners and hopes. Even Rick Pitino had a great home opener when his young Celtics beat the Michael Jordan champion Bulls way back in 1997.

This year’s Celtics home opener was wildly anticipated after a summer spree in which president of basketball operations Danny Ainge bagged Cleveland point guard Kyrie Irving, Duke teen angel Jayson Tatum, and Gordon Hayward, the $128 million blue-chip free agent from the Hoosier heartland. The Celtics were championship-driven. They were a team on the way up and maybe even had a chance to return to the NBA Finals.
Nice of Shank to remind us in successive columns how much Hayward's contract is worth, isn't it?

And what would a Shank column on the Celtics be without the obligatory Larry Bird mention?

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

The Obligatory Gordon Hayward Injury Column

Shank bangs out a column on newly acquired Celtics forward Gordon Hayward and the devastation it might wreak on the 2017 - 2018 Boston Celtics.
CLEVELAND — Gruesome. Grotesque. Painful to watch.

The Celtics’ $128 million free agent acquisition, Gordon Hayward, broke his left ankle in the sixth minute of his first game with the team Tuesday night at Quicken Loans Arena.

Hayward crashed to the floor 5:15 into the season, in what turned out to be a 102-99 Celtics loss to the Cleveland Cavaliers. While his teammates battled back from an 18-point deficit, Hayward was wheeled out of the arena, bound for the Celtics team charter, and New England Baptist Hospital in Boston. Hayward’s parents were with him on the flight.

Saturday, October 14, 2017

DHL Dan LX - The Hunt Begins

In the latest issue of the Picked Up Pieces column, Shank tells us about the first candidate to be interviewed for the Red Sox' next manager.
Picked-up pieces along the baseball trail . . .

■ Red Sox baseball boss Dave Dombrowski is expected to be in New York Sunday to interview Houston Astros bench coach Alex Cora for the Sox’ managerial opening. The 41-year-old Cora played 14 major league seasons, 3½ under then-Red Sox manager Terry Francona from 2005-08. Cora will be in New York Sunday with the Astros, during the day off between Games 2 and 3 of the American League Championship Series featuring Houston and the New York Yankees.
Also, self-awareness has never been a strong point for Shank:
■ Francona (who has his own problems now that he’s lost six straight elimination games) had this telling quote when he heard of Farrell’s firing: “I do think for whatever reason, that place is a little crazy . . . I think he’ll probably end up feeling like he’s in a better place, because I think that place can age you a little bit.’’ Continuing on this theme, we have Dombrowski’s answer when he was asked about the scrutiny of Boston: “I’ve had really qualified managers that I know and respect that said they would not manage in Boston.’’ Wow. So I guess we’re not making it up when we speak of the dreaded Boston Baseball Experience.
Being a Boston Globe sports columnist means never having to look in the mirror.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Farrell Fired

It seemed inevitable, with early and one-sided playoff exits over the past two years. For some reason, Shank seems to have a problem with it:
The Red Sox fired manager-under-siege John Farrell Wednesday. President of baseball operations Dave Dombrowski, sitting at a dais without ownership, provided no explanation for the dismissal of the five-year skipper who won a World Series in 2013 and just finished in first place in back-to-back seasons.

And yet, the move will be almost unanimously applauded by Red Sox Nation.

It’s one of those “only in Boston” things.
It seems like Shank has a little problem with the firing, doesn't it? He then proceeds to reel off the reasons it's justified:
While the Sox were winning 93 games each of the last two seasons, fans fumed about Farrell’s strategic moves. The manager sometimes seemed to panic when the situation called for calm. The game often got too fast for him. His communication skills were challenged by some players.
How many times have we seen Shank bitch about Farrell leaving in Chris Sale over the past couple of weeks?
Farrell demonstrated zero leadership when $217 million ace David Price acted out. He claimed to have no knowledge of what was going on when his players were caught in an electronic-device cheating scandal.

Farrell’s daily press conferences were peppered with annoying corporate-speak. Local sports talk shows and social media platforms called for the manager’s head almost daily.

When the big-payroll, top-talent Red Sox flopped badly in the playoffs for the second straight October, there was little question Farrell would be sacrificed by a front office ever-focused on optics and television ratings (down 15 percent this year).

A ticket-price increase has already been announced for next season. The Red Sox needed to do something after getting pantsed by the Houston Astros in a four-game ALDS. So they gave fans a feel-good moment by firing the manager.
This is typical of Shank, attempting to have it both ways - he tweets out about Farrell leaving Sale in, constantly reminds us of the Red Sox lousy playoff record the past two years, and now he can't even state 'yeah, he should be fired'? Come on.

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Shots Fired?

A few days ago, Shank was rubbing Dave Price's balls. Now we get this:

Is this the usual Shank, trying to have it both ways or has he turned on David Price? Time will tell.

Dump Taken

In a column that he's been working on for a couple of days now, Shank finally gets to deliver his eulogy for the 2017 Boston Red Sox.
There were classic moments in the final hours of the 2017 Red Sox season. The last game of the season was a hardball epic, featuring multiple lead changes, Chris Sale and Justin Verlander locked in a late-game duel as relief pitchers, dozens of scoring chances, a (Red Sox) guy gunned down at home plate, the symbolic ejection of John Farrell, and a ninth-inning, inside-the-park homer by Rafael Devers — a doughboy third baseman who will be a Fenway thrill ride for years to come.

Despite all that, the last drops of blood drained from the Sox season at 5:16 p.m. on a gloomy Monday when Dustin Pedroia closed out a wildly entertaining 5-4 loss with a grounder to second base on a 3-and-2 pitch.

With that, the long-suffering Houston Astros are headed to the American League Championship Series.

Sunday, October 08, 2017

Staying Alive

The Red Sox won big this afternoon, 10-3 with David Price making an excellent contribution out of the bullpen. To hear Shank describe that contribution, you'd think he had just cured cancer.
He was Sidney Wicks, Jack Clark, Rick Pitino, Adalius Thomas, Carl Crawford, and Adrian Gonzalez. He was a top talent who made his professional bones and bags of cash in some other town, then came to Boston and offended an entire base of loyal fans.

Some of the treatment David Price received was unfair. Some of it was not.

But in the end, the lessons of professional sports are universal. Boston fans are no different from fans in any other sports-crazed town: If you perform, they will love you. If you don’t perform, be prepared to hear slander, libel, and words you never heard in the Bible.
Shank's one of the perpetrators; has been for well over three decades. There's little doubt in my mind John Henry told Shank to tone it down with criticism of Price.
Price performed in Sunday’s elimination Game 3 of the ALDS, coming out of the bullpen to stop the bleeding when it looked as if the Red Sox would suffer an ignominious sweep for the second straight October. Price’s four innings of shutout relief kept the Astros on the launch pad while the Sox ran to a 10-3 season-saving victory over Houston.

“The story of this one is David Price,’’ said Sox manager John Farrell, who might have been saved from the gallows with this win.
We'll see tomorrow, won't we?

It Begins

How could I possibly forget this angle? Shank is going to get multiple columns out of the 2017 Red Sox playoff exit.
The chair is hot in the corner office at Fenway. John Farrell could very well be managing his final game when the Red Sox take on the scalding Houston Astros in Game 3 of the ALDS Sunday afternoon on Yawkey Way.

The Fire Farrell chorus (includes me!) is loud and angry in the aftermath of bookend beatings the Sox endured at Minute Maid Park. Boston’s season-ending collapse is bearing remarkable similarity to the fall fold of 2016, and if the Red Sox are routed a third time by the Astros, something has to happen.

This time it might be the manager.
To be fair, I don't think there's any doubt that if the Sox lose this afternoon, Farrell gets the ax.

Saturday, October 07, 2017

Gearing Up For The Big One

There can be little doubt that a) Shank's about to take a world class shit on the 2017 Boston Red Sox and b) the column's already halfway written, can it?

Thursday, October 05, 2017

Once A Dick, Always A Dick - II

If I didn't know any better, I'd swear that fewer things make Shank happier than a playoff loss by the Boston Red Sox.
HOUSTON — One word and one word only best summarizes Chris Sale’s first career playoff start:


“It sucked,’’ Sale said after giving up seven runs (and three homers) in five-plus innings of an 8-2 Game 1 loss to the Astros. “A terrible time for it to happen . . . Just made bad mistakes . . . This one’s on me. I take full responsibility for this one . . . Got to be better. No excuses. Bad time to suck.’’
Read the rest of this column, no doubt started in the fourth inning of the game, where Shank piles on and spreads blame far and wide:
Oh, and since we’re in piling-on mode, let’s not forget that the “we do it our way and we’ll keep doing it our way” Red Sox ran into another out on the base paths when it was still a one-run game in the second inning. Dustin Pedroia was the culprit. One hundred and sixty-three games into the season, the stubborn Sox are still confusing foolishness for aggressiveness.

Once A Dick, Always A Dick

This one went up when the Sox were down 4-2 in Game 1 of the ALDS:


That's what Shank called the 2004 Boston Red Sox when they were down 3 - 0 to the Yankees. Kevin Millar, not too happy with that characterization, recalls his confrontation with Shank on the Toucher & Rich show this morning.

Wednesday, October 04, 2017

And Now For More Boston Globe Bashing - LIX

So much for realizing my lifelong dream of seeing 135 Morrisey Boulevard turned into dormitories for UMass-Boston.
The development company that has agreed to buy the former Boston Globe complex on Morrissey Boulevard is proposing to renovate and re-use the existing newspaper facility as a hub for high-tech jobs, including robotics.

Todd Fremont-Smith, senior vice president of development at Nordblom Co., offered a short but warmly received presentation on the 135 Morrissey project to the Columbia-Savin Hill Civic Association at its monthly meeting on Monday.

Nordblom Co. agreed to purchase the 16.5-acre Globe property for an undisclosed sum earlier this year, but the final transaction has not yet happened. Fremont-Smith said his company has the property under a purchase and sale agreement, and has been putting in increasing deposits over time. They plan to close the sale in mid-November.

Thursday, September 28, 2017

Rick Pitino Watch

Since Shank likes ripping former Boston area professional athletes, I'm left wondering why he's not ripping former Boston Celtic coaches who are now on the skids?
Rick Pitino could be in some serious trouble.

After the FBI announced its investigation into an NCAA corruption scheme earlier this week, the Louisville head coach was identified as "Coach 2" in federal court documents that claim he played a role in sending illegal payments to the family of a highly-touted recruit, CBS News' Dana Jacobson reports.

Prosecutors allege Adidas executives funneled $100,000 to the family of a top recruit - believed to be five-star freshman Brian Bowen - to ensure he'd play basketball at Louisville, an Adidas-sponsored school. Louisville reportedly suspended Bowen this week.

Pitino was placed on unpaid administrative leave Wednesday along with athletic director Tom Jurich, but has denied any wrongdoing.

The Hall of Fame coach was already due to serve a five-game suspension this season stemming from his role in the program's escort scandal.
Among a few posts, here's some of Shank's previous work on Pitino.

Retweets, By Dan Shaughnessy

Since Shank's under an obligation to no longer harshly criticize Red Sox players, instead he'll keep beating up former Red Sox players:

I can't imagine how Carl Crawford could have come to that conclusion.

Friday, September 22, 2017

Likes And Dislikes

Shank gives us his good and bad take on this year's Red Sox as they get ready for the playoffs.
OK, so the Red Sox are in the playoffs and they are on to Cincinnati. They have six more games against moribund teams (Reds, Blue Jays), then a final four at home against the Houston Astros, who are still most likely Boston’s first-round opponent in the Division Series.

So here are some personal likes and dislikes about your first-place Boston Red Sox:

Dislike: John Farrell sending Chris Sale back out to the mound in the eighth inning of an 8-0 game just so that Sale could pick up his 300th strikeout of 2017. Lunacy.

Thursday, September 21, 2017

I Think He's Pissed, McClane!

Shank's upset with Red Sox manager John Farrell over last night's personnel management / mismanagement:

I'm with Shank on this one - Farrell doesn't have the same in-game savvy that Francoa or Maddon have.

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Fourth Rate Column

When you have nothing else to write about and you've used up your quota of 'picked-up pieces' columns for the month, you write about which team's on the bottom of the local sports totem pole.
Four is a number always associated with the Boston Bruins.

Bobby Orr — the greatest hockey player of all time — wore No. 4. Black-and-Gold No. 4 jerseys pepper the stands wherever the Bruins play. The best Boston sports bar is The Fours on Canal Street.

Now, as the Bruins get ready for a new season, they once again are all about number four . . . but this time not in a good way.
When I saw this column, I got the sense that Shank had written something like this before. A search of the archives did not ratify this belief, but you'll be shocked to find out that the overwhelming majority of Shank columns on the Boston Bruins were written... after a loss.

Monday, September 18, 2017

A Superdome Story

The New England Patriots won yesterday, 36-20, over the New Orleans Saints. Since the Boston Globe paid for his trip to the Big Easy, he's obliged to write something.
Oh, and some football happened here, too. Seven Super Bowls have been played in the 76,468-seat space-ship theater they now call the “Mercedes-Benz Superdome.’’ This includes three ultimate games that involved your New England Patriots.

This is where the Fridge scored a touchdown and the Bears crushed the Patriots in New England’s only Kraft-less Super Bowl. This is where Desmond Howard kept returning kicks before the Packers beat the Drew Bledsoe Patriots in Super Bowl XXXI. And Bill Parcells didn’t fly home with the team.

Thursday, September 14, 2017

DHL Dan LX - David Price Update, Etc.

I'm wondering why Shank is going out of his way to stay positive with his coverage of David Price. Normally this would be the stage in the relationship with the player when Shank's trashing him, just before the one or two 'run him out of town' columns.
Picked-up pieces while wondering how things will end for the 2017 Indians and Dodgers . . .

■ So now the Red Sox are paying David Price $217 million to be Heath Hembree?

The Sox activated Price Thursday, and manager John Farrell announced that the sour southpaw will work out of the bullpen for the rest of this year. I hate this.
I'd rather he not reinjure his elbow. Price in the bullpen will insure he won't be throwing 100 pitches in a given day. This is logical. How Shank thinks otherwise is baffling.
Perhaps it’s rational given Price’s recovery from elbow woes and his potential value as a lefthanded power arm out of the pen. But I still hate it because it’s letting Price off the hook too easily.

As much as it might be dangerous for the Sox, I wanted to see Price get the ball for a playoff start in 2017 (with double-barrel action in the Boston bullpen during the anthem). It’s my thirst for great sports theater.
That, and pints at The Fours.

He still hates the Red Sox, in case you're still wondering:
■ Kudos to the New York Post for placing an asterisk next to “Boston” in its daily American League standings. Below the standings, the asterisk denotes, “Caught stealing.’’

When the Sox got caught cheating, how come nobody made the connection to “Damn Yankees”? The name of the devil in the famed Faustian show/movie is “Applegate.’’

One of my favorite readers reminds us, “You can’t hold a whole baseball team responsible for the behavior of a few sick, perverted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn’t we blame the whole major league system . . . ?’’
Shank realizes the movie 'Animal House' is almost forty years old, right?

He still hates the Patriots:
■ Hate to rub it in, but the New York Football Giants will salute their 2007 Super Bowl champs when they play their home opener in the Meadowlands Monday night against the Lions. Eli Manning and Zak DeOssie are the only players left from that squad. David Tyree currently works for the Giants as director of player development.
...and Federal judge Richard Berman, of Deflategate 'fame':
■ When it comes to the Yankees, Judge Sonia Sotomayor makes Fanboy Richard Berman look neutral. The Supreme Court justice donned a robe and sat in the “Judge’s Chambers” in right field (named for Aaron Judge) when the Red Sox visited New York last month. She cheered madly for her Yankees.
But that's different!

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

The End Of An Era

Shank laments the lack of interest in a particular college football game.
Did you know that the Notre Dame Fighting Irish are coming to Chestnut Hill to play the Boston College Eagles Saturday at 3:30 at Alumni Stadium?

Of course not.

Nobody knows.
I knew, but only because they announced it at the end of the Notre Dame - Georgia game on Saturday.
Shake down the thunder and dropkick me Touchdown Jesus through the goalposts of life. Our region’s abject apathy about this game is the latest demonstration that we are the worst college sports town in America.

There’s no shame in this. Not in my book anyway. I love the fact that we have evolved into a pro sports-only town. The Four Horsemen of Boston sports — the Red Sox, Patriots, Celtics, and Bruins — provide more than enough fodder to fill these pages and fuel four all-sports local radio and television stations.
He then goes on to rue the lack of college football. Typical of Shank to try and have it both ways.

Choose The Headline

The choices - 'Beating A Dead Horse' or 'Plucking The Carcass of a Dead Animal Like a Vulture':

What 'more dissection' is really necessary?

Monday, September 11, 2017

And Now For More Boston Globe Bashing - LVIII

I'm sure they'll get it right, eventually...

Friday, September 08, 2017

Ask And You Shall Receive

Not a tough call, but a good call nonetheless.
FOXBOROUGH — “Bad defense, bad coaching, bad plan, bad football.’’

This was Bill Belichick’s post-midnight confession after the Patriots were spanked by Kansas City Chiefs, 42-27, in their season opener Thursday night at Gillette Stadium.

I guess this means 19-0 is out of the question.
Firm grasp of the obvious there...

We all know the Patriots and their fans were getting a little full of themselves. After winning the greatest Super Bowl ever, they won the offseason. They went all in and assembled the perfect football team. Here in New England, football was not about competition anymore. Simply coronation.

After winning the Super Bowl in Houston, the Patriots partied. They handed out gaudy rings with 283 diamonds (get it, Falcons? 283 diamonds, as in 28-3). Team Trump went to the White House, patented the “Blitz for Six,’’ motto, and gleefully cooperated with another NFL Films homage to their superior preparation and brainpower. The Patriots not only beat you, they embarrassed you. They made sure everyone knows that they are smarter than all the other teams they play. They anticipate everything.
This column exhibits an earnestness and glee that Shank writes with when he's infatuated with the subject at hand, which generally involves a losing local professional sports team.

Aren't We All Waiting

...for Shank to bang out another column taking a massive dump on the Patriots after they lose to the Chiefs 42-27 tonight?

Thursday, September 07, 2017

The One Where Shank Lectures Pats Fans, Again

Now we have our answer as to why Shank wasn't tweeting all the usual crap during the first half of tonight's Chiefs / Patriots game:
FOXBOROUGH — OK, Patriots fans. You can let it go now. You had your fun. You won the Super Bowl with the greatest comeback in NFL championship history. You got to shout down the commissioner with a spontaneous outburst of booing when he tried to speak on the postgame stage in Houston. You got to insult Roger Goodell again Thursday night at Gillette with shirts and towels bearing the commissioner’s clown-altered image. You got to see the unveiling of championship No. 5 and then you got to see the Patriots kick off their inexorable quest for No. 6 vs. the Kansas City Chiefs. It’s probably time to release the ghosts of Deflategate and get on with your lives.
This, from a guy who still bears a grudge that he held for years and still continues to this day with the Pats' second Super Bowl appearance, against Green Bay.
Shaughnessy’s digs are predictable…and despicable. That breakfast snub 15 years ago or so really burns him up so much to this day?
More Shank:
Except for one parking lot photo with some Patriots fans (who should have their Fan Cards revoked), Goodell in August pretty much got in and out of town without anyone noticing.
Didn't he just tell Patriots fans to give it up?

You get the gist of it - more Nurse Ratched at the link.

Love To Hate The Red Sox

Any bad Red Sox news is good news for Shank:


1) Will Shank tweet before and during the game?
2) How many tweets will contain the following - defer the kickoff, double score and / or tomato cans?
3) Any more comparisons of Deflategate and the Red Sox' sign stealing saga?

Leave your own predictions in the comments.


Look who's back on the bandwagon:
Answer - HELL YEAH!

Other Than That, The Tweet Was Accurate

Shank was just a bit too eager to take a shot at the Red Sox. By the way, every level of management apologized to Eck, even though they should not have had to do that. Price has never done so.

Wednesday, September 06, 2017

Tweet Of The Day

Presented without comment...

Mountain Out Of A Molehill - II

Shank's latest column allows him to mount his Shetland pony high horse and moralize a bit about the Red Sox.
Boston’s reputation in sports takes another hit

Where do we start on this one?

The New York Times says that the first-place Red Sox are cheaters. The Times says that the Sox admitted it. Evidently, the Sox got dimed out by the Yankees (Brian Cashman is the new Fredo) and they totally fessed up when caught.

So where do we go with this now? What do we tell our out-of-town friends? Every time we start talking about all those duck boat parades, they’ll have an answer.
As far as I can tell, sign stealing's been around as long as I can remember. I don't know whether or not there are prohibitions on using technology to do this (EDIT - there are!). We'll see what commissioner Rob Manfred says about it, and what penalties go with it.

To me, here's the more interesting part:
Michael Schmidt — the same guy who broke the news in 2009 that David Ortiz tested positive for PEDs in 2003 — reported the story for the Times. At the end of his story, Schmidt wrote, “Some in baseball would like for Mr. Manfred to take away some of Boston’s victories . . .”
I'd trust a New York Times reporter as far as I could throw him down a set of stairs, but that's just me. Still, this is the perfect thing to have happened as far as Shank's concerned.

Missed Golf Column

It looks like Shank wrote his yearly golf column after all.
NORTON — Justin and Jordan.

Jordan and Justin.
I have grown to despise this trite technique of his.
Both 24 years old. Both American. Both golf stars at NCAA football factories. Each one praised at one time or another as the next superstar of golf. Both winners of coveted majors — three for Jordan Spieth, one for Justin Thomas.
If you don't know a lot about these two, it's worth a read.

Tuesday, September 05, 2017

What's In A Tweet?

It's not too difficult to translate this one. The Red Sox are currently in a tailspin and Shank will have the next five months of passive-aggressive behavior to simultaneously shit on and offer false praise for the New England Patriots. Both situations make him happer than a pig in slop.

Monday, September 04, 2017

When It Rains, It Pours

Shank's recent prolific column output has nothing to do with the Red Sox losing three out of four games to the New York Yankees, does it?
NEW YORK — Panic?

Not yet. Probably nobody wants to hear it, but despite last night’s 9-2 beatdown in the Bronx, the Red Sox are still in pretty good shape to win the American League East. They certainly have trouble with the Yankees and Orioles, but they are coming home for a nine-game stay vs. the dregs of the American League. The Yankees, meanwhile, are heading out on the dusty trail, starting in Baltimore. The Sox can’t possible squander their 3½-game division lead. Can they?
Surely that's a rhetorical question for Shank...

Sunday, September 03, 2017

Glass Half Empty

What a shocker - Shank isn't too keen on the Red Sox come playoff time!
NEW YORK — How are you feeling about the prospects for your first-place Red Sox when the playoffs get going next month?

Me? I’m not feeling great about this team.

Sorry. I know these guys have good pitching and they’ve had all those walkoff wins and they have been in first place since Aug. 1 and they have one of the top six records in all of baseball. Closer Craig Kimbrel is enjoying a historic season.

But I just don’t feel good about this team in October.
More doubt and pessimism at the link.

Saturday, September 02, 2017

Live From The Yankees Clubhouse - II

Amazing that you can get an entire column out of a single bunt.
NEW YORK — We’ve waited a long time for this. The Red Sox and Yankees are in first and second place respectively, and national television networks still love them, but everybody knows the rivalry has been somewhat tepid since the passionate, angry golden days of 2003 and 2004.

But some of the old hard feelings resurfaced Thursday and Friday when pantload CC Sabathia called the Red Sox “weak” and challenged anyone who doesn’t like it to “meet in center field . . . I’m out there early every day.’’

And all this because Sox infielder Eduardo Nunez had the audacity to do his job and lay down a bunt in the first inning of Thursday’s 6-2 Yankee win. Nunez swung away in third inning Friday night and belted a two-run homer in the the Sox’ 4-1 victory.)

Friday, September 01, 2017

You Heard It Here First

Longtime readers of this blog know how well Shank loves the Neil Diamond song 'Sweet Caroline'. About an hour or so ago I'm on ESPN 3 watching one of the World Cup qualifiers (Malta vs. England) and the Maltese crowd was singing, you guessed it, 'Sweet Caroline' just before the first half kickoff. My prediction - with that insipid car commercial fueling the fire, this might catch on worldwide, displacing 'Seven Nation Army' by the White Stripes as the song of choice.

Live From The Yankees Clubhouse

... Our Man Shank is there!
NEW YORK — Welcome to the visitors’ clubhouse at Yankee Stadium. This is where stuff happens.

This is where David Price had his first Jack Nicholson-esque, five-star nutty back in June when he hurled insults at writers and equipment into his locker. This is where the Sox staged that goofy champagne-and-goggles celebration last Sept. 29 moments after Craig Kimbrel surrendered a walkoff grand slam to the retiring Mark Teixeira. This is where Terry Francona, then-employed by ESPN, pulled up a chair and started a bull session with his ex-players in 2012 while “new” Sox skipper Bobby Valentine fumed in the corner office.
Looks like Shank has found a Red Sox player to latch onto and trash for the rest of the season.

Thursday, August 31, 2017

When Golf Tournaments Were Wicked Pissa

The TPC Boston returns to Norton, MA this weekend. It's now known as the Dell Technologies Championship, formerly known as the Deutsche Bank Championship (likely due to recent financial difficulties).

Since the likes of Tiger Woods, Jack Nicklaus and Arnold Palmer will not be playing, Shank will not show much interest in the event. That is, unless someone's using a portable urinal to take a piss.

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Trolling Tweets, By Dan Shaughnessy

A few days after getting swept at home by the Baltimore Orioles, Shank goes with this tweet:

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Isn't That Lovely?

Guess what we're going to get tortured with over the next six months?
Just fuckin' shoot me now...

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Addition By Subtraction

For me, ESPN is ruined by the self-important, egotistical Sports Center characters like Stuart Scott, Kenny Mayne (a whole 'nother level of douchebaggery), Scott Van Pelt and this guy, who started it all. Enjoy your retirement.
It was one of those special nights, a reward for a job well done, a life well lived. Best known as “Boomer” to sports fans of America, Chris Berman had Citi Field box seats by the dugout for himself, his 30-year-old son Doug, and Doug’s fiancee Clare. It was the eve of Berman’s 62nd birthday and they were going to watch the Mets play the San Francisco Giants, his favorite team since his days as a boy in New York’s Westchester County.

It was Tuesday, May 9, and Berman, ESPN’s original franchise player, was enjoying the early months of a victory lap, accepting daily congrats after stepping down from his 31-year position as host of the network’s NFL game-day studio programming.

Saturday, August 26, 2017

If It's The Patriots Preseason's Shank's season to shit on the Kraft family:

You stay classy, Shank!

Thursday, August 24, 2017

Shank On The Kyrie Irving Trade

Looks like the latest Celtics trade gave Shank something to write about.
At long last, fireworks.

I am all in on the Celtics’ acquisition of Kyrie Irving. I haven’t been this sold on a Boston sports transaction since the Red Sox signed free agent third baseman Pablo Sandoval for five years and $95 million.

OK, bad example. The Panda thing didn’t work out. And truthfully, Danny Ainge’s bold trade could blow up on him if the Brooklyn pick becomes Hakeem Olajuwon and Irving goes all Carl Everett on us.

But that’s not going to happen. The Celtics just picked up one of the best point guards in the NBA, the second-best player in the Eastern Conference, a 25-year-old Basketball Jones who scored 25 points per game last season and can lead Boston to the NBA Finals.
Of course, that's what the Celtics were thinking when they picked up Gordon Hayward earlier this summer. Here's hoping it doesn't wind up being a repeat of the crap sandwich clash of egos that trashed the Cavaliers after the NBA finals.

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

DHL Dan LIX / Rewriting History

Red Sox owner John Henry's is the latest in a torrent of politically correct efforts to rewrite history by removing the names of people they do not approve of. Shank is there to cover it:
Picked-up pieces while wondering whether angry Patriots fans still believe Roger Goodell (about to sign a five-year contract extension) is going to lose his job over his grotesque “mishandling” of Deflategate.

■ Red Sox owner John Henry is “haunted” by the Yawkey legacy of racism and would like Yawkey Way renamed to Big Papi Way. The Globe’s Adrian Walker, in a December 2015 column headlined, “It’s time to banish the racist legacy of Tom Yawkey,’’ wrote, “Why on earth does Boston have a street called Yawkey Way? . . . Changing the name of a street is simple enough . . . The time has come.’’
So Red Sox ownership sat on its hands for two years (and more) until there's sufficient cover to make the move? Brave stance, guys!
So now the debate is on. The climate is ripe for change.

Henry said that former Mayor Thomas Menino was not agreeable to a street-name change, which was suggested by former Red Sox CEO Larry Lucchino shortly after the turn of the century, but current Mayor Marty Walsh seems ready to move on the combustible issue.
However, there's backup on this one. All that and more in the latest edition of the Shank mailbag...

Monday, August 21, 2017

The Judge / Benintendi Postulation

Shank comes back from vacation / extended hiatus to compare the two rookies:
Aaron Judge vs. Andrew Benintendi.

Forget 2017 American League Rookie of the Year. I’m asking . . . which guy would you rather have on your team for the next 15 seasons?

We love these Yankee-Red Sox mano-a-manos. It’s as old as the rivalry itself.
You know the drill from here - comparisons to Yankees / Red Sox players of yesteryear ensues, as does the Judge / Benintendi comparison.

Sunday, August 13, 2017

Fred Lynn Watch?

I'd sure hate to change the name of this blog, but Shank keeps bringing up his name whenever he writes about Red Sox second year player Andrew Benintendi.
NEW YORK — Andrew Benintendi hit a pair of three-run homers off Yankee ace Luis Severino in Saturday’s 10-5 Red Sox win over the Yankees. Benintendi’s performance reminded some of us of Freddie Lynn in 1975.

Lynn was American League MVP and Rookie of the Year in ’75 and led the Red Sox all the way to the seventh game of the World Series. He hit .331 with 21 homers and 105 RBIs. He also enjoyed one of the great days at the plate in Red Sox history.

Hop into the Wayback Machine for a moment:
I'll pass, unless I can find my bell bottoms and a few 8-tracks.

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Get Me Rewrite!

How many times do you think Shank has written this column?
The legendary Joe DiMaggio was ever-jealous of the legendary Ted Williams. Late in life, when both superstars were in their 70s and occasionally appeared at the same event, Joe insisted on being introduced as “the greatest living ballplayer.’’

Bill Lee hated Billy Martin, Graig Nettles, and the rest of the 1970s Yankees. He called the Bronx Bombers “Yankee brownshirts.”
Also - third column in a row where comments have been disabled.

How Soon...

... is now?

But seriously, folks - about nineteen hours from now, the New England Patriots will play their first preseason game against the Jacksonville Jaguars in Foxborough. A few of the top starters will not be playing, among them Tom Brady, Julian Edelman and Gronk.

Here's what I want to know - how soon does Shank first deploy that vastly overused phrase 'tomato can(s)' to describe any and all Patriots opponents?

Tuesday, August 08, 2017

Shank On The Baseball Show

So I'm in the car and I turn on 98.5 around 6:22 this afternoon, just in time to hear the second caller of the hour slam the fill-in host for Tony Massarotti, which would be Our Man Shank. The guy got past the call screener(s) and ambushed Shank, telling him he sucked. That made my day.


Shank cleverly (or not so cleverly) disguises a Picked Up Pieces column as the first shot this season in his ongoing war with the New England Patriots.
■ We all love Tom Brady. Great leader. Great champion. Greatest quarterback of all time. Maybe greatest football player of all time. But his answer about his wife’s televised contention that he had a concussion last year (and that he’s had concussions pretty much every year) is unacceptable in light of his nonstop promotion of the “TB12 Method.’’

When asked Friday about his wife’s statement that he had a concussion last season, Brady answered, “I really don’t think that’s anybody’s business, you know, what happened last year.”
To be fair, I think Shank has a point, now with all the CTE cases coming out and some implied level of obligation to discuss his own situation or the situation in general.

Two other points on this part of the column - I think there's still some institutional Globe butthurt about getting called out on this column (for which I'll support Tom Brady flipping the bird to the media in spite of the previous paragraph), and in what may be a related item, there are no comments to this current column, making it two columns in a row.

The rest of the column is worth reading, and I'm not just saying that after a couple of brewskis...

Sunday, August 06, 2017

Should I Pass?

I'll go check in just to see how Shank can negatively spin a six game winning streak.

UPDATE AT 10:30 PM - It was a surprisingly good show. Shank had no negative agenda against the Red Sox (other than with Jared Carrabis, who's finally figured out Shank is an enemy).

Saturday, August 05, 2017

And Now For More Boston Globe Bashing - LVII

It takes a special kind of douche to bring politics into an article about a solar eclipse:

Friday, August 04, 2017

The Boston Baseball Experience

The David Price / Dennis Eckersley kerfuffle sure brings back some memories for Shank.
Imagine being a young pitching star in Boston. You’ve got a Cy Young Award at home. You’ve won 20 games in a season. You do a ton of charity work and you’ve got your own foundation. Your first child is a baby boy. Your Red Sox are in first place.

Life should be good. But you’re getting crushed by Sox fans and sports talk radio. Fans think you make too much money. They say you never win in the playoffs. And they are mad because you said some regrettable things when you thought you were defending your teammates.

David Price, 2017?


Say hello to Roger Clemens, circa 1988.
I'm sure I don't need to mention who was one of the people doing the 'getting crushed' dance in the print media, now do I?

Of course, that attitude Shank had towards Clemens sure changed - just time the delivery of a stuffed doll to perfection.

Wednesday, August 02, 2017

It's Not Me, It's You

David Price spoke on Saturday and the tone was not exactly one of reconciliation. Dennis Eckersley flips him the bird right back:
Dennis Eckersley has no interest in meeting with David Price. And he has no intention of changing his broadcasting style.

“I’m cool with everything,’’ Eckersley told the Globe before Tuesday night’s dramatic 12-10 walkoff victory over the Indians. “I’ve moved on. I’m just going to keep doing what I do, which is call it like I see it. It’s all about the Red Sox and the ultimate goal of winning it all.’’

Eckersley returned to Fenway Tuesday to fulfill a commitment to appear in the club’s Legends Suite during the Red Sox-Indians game. He is scheduled to return to the NESN booth Thursday when the Red Sox play the White Sox at Fenway.
Good - I hope Eck starts trolling the mother fucker.

Monday, July 31, 2017

News You Can Use

Or - since he's not Cleveland's general manager, what else do you think he'd be doing right about now?

The Parochial Shaughnessy

Shank was in Cooperstown this weekend, and he discovers a common theme:
COOPERSTOWN, N.Y. — Everything is about Boston. Everything is about the Red Sox. Even on a weekend when the Sox didn’t have anyone getting inducted into the Hall of Fame.

Here are some vignettes from induction weekend, as the family of baseball gathered to enshrine Jeff Bagwell, Tim Raines, Pudge Rodriguez, John Schuerholz, and Bud Selig:

■ Juan Marichal and Rich Gossage spent part of Saturday morning in the village of Cooperstown, sitting side-by-side signing autographs for the benefit of a local fire department. Both looked as if they could still pitch. Marichal pitched for the Red Sox at the end of his career. Gossage had many big moments against the Red Sox. He’s the guy who got Carl Yastrzemski to pop to Graig Nettles to end the 1978 one-game playoff.
Wade Boggs gives some perspective on David Price running his mouth and confronting Dennis Eckersley:
■ “David Price has no idea what I went through,’’ said Wade Boggs, who played 11 calamity-filled seasons in Boston. “ ‘Yuck?’ That’s it?’’ Boggs asked. “Try living in my shoes back then.’’ Boggs showed me a photo of himself from his last trip to Boston, standing next to a statue of Paul Revere. “Two guys famous for riding horses,’’’ Boggs chuckled.
And on and on it goes, in that vein. His writing of stories that put Boston at the center of the sports universe seems to have diminshed somewhat recently.

Bonus - a Larry Bird sighting!