Thursday, August 25, 2016

Unusual Pairing

How often do you see the words 'interesting' and 'Dan Shaughnessy' in the same sentence?

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Controversy Created

Shank finds an angle with which to stir the pot with respect to the Patriots:
Don’t look now, but Patriots have a quarterback controversy

Quarterback controversy.

It is the bane of existence for all NFL head coaches. The Clown Show New York Jets have a quarterback controversy just about every other week. The Bills and Dolphins also specialize in quarterback controversies.

This is one of the reasons the Patriots have been able to win their Tomato Can Division in 13 of the last 15 seasons. The Jets, Dolphins, and Bills have had loser quarterbacks during this stretch.

Think about it, people. In the 15 years since Tom Brady took over as quarterback of the Patriots, who would be the “next-best” quarterback in the division? Chad Pennington, perhaps? In an aggregate 45 seasons of Jets, Bills, and Fins, the best they can come up with is Chad Pennington?
He gives the game away in the next paragraph:
Now the Patriots have a quarterback controversy of their own. Sort of.

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Master Of The Obvious

Shank gets a few things right with his latest tweet:

Monday, August 22, 2016


Or, The One Where Shank Makes Up Fake Friends:
Tom Brady hasn’t been seen in Foxborough since before Thursday night’s preseason game with the Bears.

Injured? Pouting?

The Patriots aren’t saying anything. And their fans just love it.
Here's what prompted Shank to write this column (besides his hatred of Robert Kraft) - the New England Patriots and coach Bill Belichick are tight lipped about Tom Brady, who supposedly cut his thumb on Thursday and hasn't been at the stadium since that time. The lack of information and cooperation with the media sticks in Shank's craw, so he writes a whiny column about it
Around here, every day is Patriots Day. Some days are just more sweet than others. Monday was one of those days, as Patriots fans celebrated the fifth consecutive day of no information regarding the most important player in franchise history.
It's the preseason - no one gives a shit, Shank.
I bumped into a couple of Patriots loyalists at a pub in Brighton, and they could barely contain their joy.
That's the only believable part of the column. These types of Shank columns come across as absurd, and when combined with his trademark negativity, it is truly a turd to behold.

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Pap Smear

Shank wants the Sox to bring back their former closer Jonathan Papelbon.

In making the case, he regurgitates all the same rationale he used when Paps left in 2011:

He put a cardboard 12-pack box on his head. Check!
Detailed recap of last game as a Sox pitcher. Check!
"Accountability." Check!
Chicken-and-beer. Check!
“I’m Shipping Up To Boston.’’ Check!

Sorry, we're done with that. And no matter how badly The CHB wants a new storyline, the Sox don't need another reliever who can't get anyone out. 

Thursday, August 18, 2016

The Ultimate Weathervane - XXIX (Estimated)

Shank, who wasn't worried about David Price, then was worried about David Price, then wasn't worried about David Price, then was sorta, kinda worried about David Price, isn't currently worried about David Price:
This might sound strange coming from me, but I think folks around here have been too tough on David Price this season.

OK, let’s start with the acknowledgement that $217 million is a big bag of money and Price has not been the pitcher the Red Sox thought they were buying. He has not been Roger Clemens 1986, Pedro Martinez 1999-2000, or even Josh Beckett 2007.

He has not been the David Price of 2009-15. He has not been the 23-year-old flamethrower who came out of the bullpen to fan J.D. Drew with the bases loaded in Game 7 of the 2008 ALCS, effectively sending the Tampa Bay Rays to the World Series.

But Price has not been a meatball artist. He has not been an embarrassment. He has not been Matt Young, Jack Clark, or Carl Crawford.
Quit bullshitting us, Shank - we know you better than that! What former Red Sox player did you compare him to three months ago?
Not now. Price at this hour is in full Carl Crawford mode.
Tune in next week, when Shank switches back again like a bike rider going up L'Alpe d'Huez...

Accentuating The Positive

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