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Saturday, February 18, 2017

Trying To Create Doubt - II

Alternative title - Another Colum About Nothing, a continuing series.
FORT MYERS, Fla. — The glow from Super Bowl LI will never dim. Snowflakes aside, our region has been in a good mood almost every hour for the past two weeks. Folks are still agog about the Patriots’ dramatic comeback, and they watch their DVR-preserved copy over and over, like teenagers playing a loop of a favorite song.

All of which has me wondering about the official passing of the Boston sports torch.

Have we really become a football town more than we are a baseball town?
...
Yes, we are a football town, but it turns out baseball is not dead. This point was hammered home last week when the Globe conducted an online poll asking readers, “What is the greatest story in Boston sports history: the 2004 Red Sox or the 2016 Patriots?’’

More than 5,000 readers responded in a 24-hour period, and the ’04 Sox bagged 73 percent of the vote.
A couple of things here - a) Boston Globe 'readers' taking a poll and responding in a single day do not in any way represent a large enough sample of New England sports fans to draw this conclusion, and b) responding to 'the greatest sports story in Boston sports history' likewise does not necessarily translate to whether Boston is a Patriots or Red Sox town. This isn't the first time Shank has pulled this false / bogus premise and passes it off as a column.

I bet he's hoping Pablo Sandoval puts on 20 pounds over the weekend eating at Chinese and Golden Corral buffets so he can write on, you know, actual baseball things.

Friday, February 17, 2017

Trying To Create Doubt

Smooth sailing for the 2017 Boston Red Sox? Leave it to Shank to take care of that.
FORT MYERS, Fla. — Accompanied by club chairman Tom Werner, Red Sox owner John Henry endured his annual “state of the team” press conference at Fenway South Friday morning.

It was positively positive. And dull. Nothing the owner said will change the nap-time narrative of this Red Sox camp. JetBlue Park in 2017 is Tranquility Base. Henry and Werner love it that way.

Me? I miss the bad old days when there was a little hunger, restlessness, and indecision at the top.
Hence the reason for this column.
This week last year, Henry came to Fort Myers and told us, “I was shocked at how bad we were last year . . . We were wrong about everything.’’

In that same session, the owner — the man who hired Bill James and became a billionaire with the help of numbers — also dropped the bomb that the Sox were “overly reliant” on analytics.
News Flash - Shank still hates numbers!

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Stick To Sports

Shank's trying to make a political joke here:

Readers give him the business:

Great question...


Tuesday, February 14, 2017

The Obligatory First Red Sox Spring Training Column

Yes, indeed - Shank abandons his family and leaves them alone with the shoveling chores in the middle of winter and beats his pasty white ass down to the confines of sunny Florida to give us his first Red Sox spring training report.
FORT MYERS, Fla. — Pedro Martinez, Curt Schilling, Josh Beckett, David Price.
Who are 'Red Sox pitchers that Dan Shaughnessy ran out of town', Alex?
In the last two decades, the Red Sox have acquired several established All-Star pitchers, some with championship rings, some with Cy Young hardware, all with hard-earned reputations and maybe a little baggage.

Now it’s Chris Sale. He’s the new ace in town. And he comes to us with a four-seam fastball, a filthy slider, and a big bowl of badass.
Despite Shank's bravado, the rest of the column is worth reading, especially for any of you going through football withdrawal.

When Sports And Politics Collide

Sometimes they do, and sometimes they don't. In this case, Shank stirs the pot by calling out not the players boycotting the White House visit, but those in the Patriots organization who support Donald Trump.
These empty-calorie ceremonies have traditionally taken place in the White House’s Rose Garden. That’s fitting because the Patriots’ support of Trump has become a thorny issue.
It's only a thorny issue for the reporters covering the Patriots, because they're all fucking Democrats.
The Patriots made history in Super Bowl LI, but some feel they’re on the wrong side of it with their coziness with Trump.
And one of these 'some feel' people is Dan Shaughnessy. Gotta love the use of the passive voice...
The Patriots don’t have to stiff-arm the president, but they would be wise to at least start distancing themselves from some of his polarizing policies..
This has to be the most bogus charge, making a politician's supporters speak out on every damned policy. Do you recall reporters shoving a microphone in a Democrat's face every time John Kerry or Joe Biden said something galactically stupid? Me neither.

Oh, one more thing - remember that time Shank's wife tried donating some money to Nikki Tsongas from a joint checking account? Shank didn't have anything to say about that, yet he now expects the Trump supporters in the Patriots organization (all of three the last I checked) to 'start distancing themselves from some of his polarizing policies'? Funny how that works when the shoe's on the other foot, isn't it, Shank?

This is classic Shank - making a mountain out a molehill.

UPDATE AT 2:25 PM - See what I mean? This USA Today reporter put words in Tom Brady's mouth / deliberately misquoted him to get a clickbait headline. And people wonder why the media is nearly universally hated?

Monday, February 13, 2017

Delusional Dan

The Boston Bruins have won three games in a row after shitcanning Claude Julien six days ago, including a satisfying 4-0 shutout over the Montreal Canadiens last night. Shank manages to talk himself into a ludicrous comparison. Either he's delusional, or he's trying to get a rise out of Bruins fans. Here's his third tweet (yes, the third) of the season on the Bruins (because he's really into hockey):
My buddy John (who would put Kevin Paul Dupont to shame on hockey knowledge if he was writing a column about hockey) sends me this:
If the pooh bear lemmings think a new coach cures the lower lines, defense & backup goaltending, I have some kool aid.
Shank gets some other reminders as well:


Friday, February 10, 2017

Dan Shaughnessy, Attention Whore

Poor Danny Boy - someone's mad at him!

A few people commented on Shank's arrogance:


For what it's worth, I met Cam at a comedy club on Warrenton Street many moons ago, just after he retired. I shook his hand; he damn near crushed it. Human vise-grip! If I was Shank, I'd be avoiding the Garden for a while.

Wednesday, February 08, 2017

Fake Outrage?

Now that the Patriots' run is over, Shank is forced to turn his attention elsewhere. In his first (yes, first) column on the Bruins of the season (their season's already past the halfway point), Shank takes issue with the timing of Claude Julien's firing.
The Bruins should never be forgiven for the stunt they pulled Tuesday morning: They fired coach Claude Julien on the morning of the Patriots Super Bowl victory parade through the streets of Boston.

This goes beyond weak, beyond cowardly. It’s disrespectful to the winningest coach in franchise history — a guy who has been on the job for 10 years — and it’s an insult to the great sports/hockey fans of Boston.

The timing stinks. We all knew it was time for Claude to go. The Bruins should have fired him at the end of the 2015 season. Or at the end of the 2016 season. Or last week at the All-Star break.
After reading the comments to Shank's column, I seem to be the only one who doesn't care about the timing of this move.