Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Fourth Rate Column

When you have nothing else to write about and you've used up your quota of 'picked-up pieces' columns for the month, you write about which team's on the bottom of the local sports totem pole.
Four is a number always associated with the Boston Bruins.

Bobby Orr — the greatest hockey player of all time — wore No. 4. Black-and-Gold No. 4 jerseys pepper the stands wherever the Bruins play. The best Boston sports bar is The Fours on Canal Street.

Now, as the Bruins get ready for a new season, they once again are all about number four . . . but this time not in a good way.
When I saw this column, I got the sense that Shank had written something like this before. A search of the archives did not ratify this belief, but you'll be shocked to find out that the overwhelming majority of Shank columns on the Boston Bruins were written... after a loss.

Monday, September 18, 2017

A Superdome Story

The New England Patriots won yesterday, 36-20, over the New Orleans Saints. Since the Boston Globe paid for his trip to the Big Easy, he's obliged to write something.
Oh, and some football happened here, too. Seven Super Bowls have been played in the 76,468-seat space-ship theater they now call the “Mercedes-Benz Superdome.’’ This includes three ultimate games that involved your New England Patriots.

This is where the Fridge scored a touchdown and the Bears crushed the Patriots in New England’s only Kraft-less Super Bowl. This is where Desmond Howard kept returning kicks before the Packers beat the Drew Bledsoe Patriots in Super Bowl XXXI. And Bill Parcells didn’t fly home with the team.

Thursday, September 14, 2017

DHL Dan LX - David Price Update, Etc.

I'm wondering why Shank is going out of his way to stay positive with his coverage of David Price. Normally this would be the stage in the relationship with the player when Shank's trashing him, just before the one or two 'run him out of town' columns.
Picked-up pieces while wondering how things will end for the 2017 Indians and Dodgers . . .

■ So now the Red Sox are paying David Price $217 million to be Heath Hembree?

The Sox activated Price Thursday, and manager John Farrell announced that the sour southpaw will work out of the bullpen for the rest of this year. I hate this.
I'd rather he not reinjure his elbow. Price in the bullpen will insure he won't be throwing 100 pitches in a given day. This is logical. How Shank thinks otherwise is baffling.
Perhaps it’s rational given Price’s recovery from elbow woes and his potential value as a lefthanded power arm out of the pen. But I still hate it because it’s letting Price off the hook too easily.

As much as it might be dangerous for the Sox, I wanted to see Price get the ball for a playoff start in 2017 (with double-barrel action in the Boston bullpen during the anthem). It’s my thirst for great sports theater.
That, and pints at The Fours.

He still hates the Red Sox, in case you're still wondering:
■ Kudos to the New York Post for placing an asterisk next to “Boston” in its daily American League standings. Below the standings, the asterisk denotes, “Caught stealing.’’

When the Sox got caught cheating, how come nobody made the connection to “Damn Yankees”? The name of the devil in the famed Faustian show/movie is “Applegate.’’

One of my favorite readers reminds us, “You can’t hold a whole baseball team responsible for the behavior of a few sick, perverted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn’t we blame the whole major league system . . . ?’’
Shank realizes the movie 'Animal House' is almost forty years old, right?

He still hates the Patriots:
■ Hate to rub it in, but the New York Football Giants will salute their 2007 Super Bowl champs when they play their home opener in the Meadowlands Monday night against the Lions. Eli Manning and Zak DeOssie are the only players left from that squad. David Tyree currently works for the Giants as director of player development.
...and Federal judge Richard Berman, of Deflategate 'fame':
■ When it comes to the Yankees, Judge Sonia Sotomayor makes Fanboy Richard Berman look neutral. The Supreme Court justice donned a robe and sat in the “Judge’s Chambers” in right field (named for Aaron Judge) when the Red Sox visited New York last month. She cheered madly for her Yankees.
But that's different!

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

The End Of An Era

Shank laments the lack of interest in a particular college football game.
Did you know that the Notre Dame Fighting Irish are coming to Chestnut Hill to play the Boston College Eagles Saturday at 3:30 at Alumni Stadium?

Of course not.

Nobody knows.
I knew, but only because they announced it at the end of the Notre Dame - Georgia game on Saturday.
Shake down the thunder and dropkick me Touchdown Jesus through the goalposts of life. Our region’s abject apathy about this game is the latest demonstration that we are the worst college sports town in America.

There’s no shame in this. Not in my book anyway. I love the fact that we have evolved into a pro sports-only town. The Four Horsemen of Boston sports — the Red Sox, Patriots, Celtics, and Bruins — provide more than enough fodder to fill these pages and fuel four all-sports local radio and television stations.
He then goes on to rue the lack of college football. Typical of Shank to try and have it both ways.

Choose The Headline

The choices - 'Beating A Dead Horse' or 'Plucking The Carcass of a Dead Animal Like a Vulture':

What 'more dissection' is really necessary?

Monday, September 11, 2017

And Now For More Boston Globe Bashing - LVIII

I'm sure they'll get it right, eventually...

Friday, September 08, 2017

Ask And You Shall Receive

Not a tough call, but a good call nonetheless.
FOXBOROUGH — “Bad defense, bad coaching, bad plan, bad football.’’

This was Bill Belichick’s post-midnight confession after the Patriots were spanked by Kansas City Chiefs, 42-27, in their season opener Thursday night at Gillette Stadium.

I guess this means 19-0 is out of the question.
Firm grasp of the obvious there...

We all know the Patriots and their fans were getting a little full of themselves. After winning the greatest Super Bowl ever, they won the offseason. They went all in and assembled the perfect football team. Here in New England, football was not about competition anymore. Simply coronation.

After winning the Super Bowl in Houston, the Patriots partied. They handed out gaudy rings with 283 diamonds (get it, Falcons? 283 diamonds, as in 28-3). Team Trump went to the White House, patented the “Blitz for Six,’’ motto, and gleefully cooperated with another NFL Films homage to their superior preparation and brainpower. The Patriots not only beat you, they embarrassed you. They made sure everyone knows that they are smarter than all the other teams they play. They anticipate everything.
This column exhibits an earnestness and glee that Shank writes with when he's infatuated with the subject at hand, which generally involves a losing local professional sports team.

Aren't We All Waiting

...for Shank to bang out another column taking a massive dump on the Patriots after they lose to the Chiefs 42-27 tonight?

Thursday, September 07, 2017

The One Where Shank Lectures Pats Fans, Again

Now we have our answer as to why Shank wasn't tweeting all the usual crap during the first half of tonight's Chiefs / Patriots game:
FOXBOROUGH — OK, Patriots fans. You can let it go now. You had your fun. You won the Super Bowl with the greatest comeback in NFL championship history. You got to shout down the commissioner with a spontaneous outburst of booing when he tried to speak on the postgame stage in Houston. You got to insult Roger Goodell again Thursday night at Gillette with shirts and towels bearing the commissioner’s clown-altered image. You got to see the unveiling of championship No. 5 and then you got to see the Patriots kick off their inexorable quest for No. 6 vs. the Kansas City Chiefs. It’s probably time to release the ghosts of Deflategate and get on with your lives.
This, from a guy who still bears a grudge that he held for years and still continues to this day with the Pats' second Super Bowl appearance, against Green Bay.
Shaughnessy’s digs are predictable…and despicable. That breakfast snub 15 years ago or so really burns him up so much to this day?
More Shank:
Except for one parking lot photo with some Patriots fans (who should have their Fan Cards revoked), Goodell in August pretty much got in and out of town without anyone noticing.
Didn't he just tell Patriots fans to give it up?

You get the gist of it - more Nurse Ratched at the link.

Love To Hate The Red Sox

Any bad Red Sox news is good news for Shank:


1) Will Shank tweet before and during the game?
2) How many tweets will contain the following - defer the kickoff, double score and / or tomato cans?
3) Any more comparisons of Deflategate and the Red Sox' sign stealing saga?

Leave your own predictions in the comments.


Look who's back on the bandwagon:
Answer - HELL YEAH!

Other Than That, The Tweet Was Accurate

Shank was just a bit too eager to take a shot at the Red Sox. By the way, every level of management apologized to Eck, even though they should not have had to do that. Price has never done so.