Four Innings, Extrapolated

Joe Kelly's start on Thursday against the Mets was a good one - 7.0 IP, five hits, one run / earned run, one walk, six strikeouts, 1.35 ERA. Shank didn't say a word about it.

Joe Kelly's start earlier today was a whole different matter:

It's the 4th inning and Joe Kelly just gave up his 3rd loud homer. Kelly-Porcello throwing meatballs in Grapefruit League. Trouble for Sox?

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) March 29, 2016

Reader feedback was just as consistent:

@Dan_Shaughnessy if he threw 3 no hit innings U wouldn't discuss it.

— Pat O'Donoghue (@LIPS1986) March 29, 2016

@Dan_Shaughnessy doesn't sound like its competitive. You probably shouldn't watch. Haha. #oversensitive

— Tyler Smith (@foxboro_ty) March 29, 2016

The $72 Million Dollar Man

Shank's here to tell us that Red Sox outfielder Rusney Castillo does not project into Boston's 2015 starting lineup very often.

FORT MYERS, Fla. — Rusney Castillo is a bust.

Not exactly breaking news, I know, but Red Sox manager John Farrell on Tuesday officially revealed that the Sox plan to start Brock Holt in left field against righties, which will be most of the games.

Did you know that the Red Sox paid a lot of money to acquire Castillo? You didn't? Good - because Shank's here with a few helpful reminders:

Castillo, the $72 million Cuban Mystery Man, will share playing time with Chris Young as fourth/fifth outfielders for the 2016 Sox.
...
If Pablo Sandoval plays third, Hanley Ramirez plays first, and Rick Porcello gets the ball every fifth day, it’s because they are the best guys for the job. Not because they make bags of money.

In Castillo’s case, the Sox are putting their wasted money where their mouths are. They are biting the gold-plated bullet.
...
The 28-year-old Cuban has officially moved to the pine and will be carried as a $72 million bench-warmer.
...
In the summer of 2014, Ben Cherington and Boston’s baseball ops hadn’t seen Castillo play in real baseball games when they outbid every other big league team at Castillo’s Miami tryout.
...
This makes Castillo a $72 million platoon player.
...
The Sox have to be wildly disappointed in what they are getting for their $72 million investment.

Piling On

Once or twice a year, Shank will write (or tweet) something that makes him look like a jackass across the country, and he did just that with his tweet on Saturday, criticizing the UConn women's basketball team for the crime of being too good. In addition to the Deadspin post mentioned below, Jay Bilas and Holly Rowe went after Shank on the Dan Patrick Show this morning, the Hartford Courant took the obligatory Connecticut shot at him as well, and we have a local follow-up from CBS Boston.

Now here's the interesting part - Shank went on Toucher and Rich this morning to explain / defend the tweet and respond to UConn coach Gene Auriemma's comments. He wrote his column a few hours later. If you're brave enough to listen to the Toucher & Rich segment, you will note that nearly every thing he talked about wound up in his column. From that you can conclude that either he used that interview to write the column or his column was already written and he pretty much read from it to do the Toucher & Rich segment.

Now that's how you recycle, folks!

Foot In Mouth Again?

Not content with a mere tweet about the UConn women's basketball team kicking ass and taking names, the Grandmaster Troll of the Boston Globe bangs out a column about it, where he further expands on his 'thoughts'.

FORT MYERS, Fla. — It’s not because they win championships every year. We love dynasties.

It’s not because they are female athletes. We love women’s sports.

What the hell is that supposed to mean? Contradict yourself much?

It’s because they have no competition. It’s the margins of these victories. The defending champion University of Connecticut women’s basketball team is virtually never tested. They seem to win all their games by 40 points. This is not UConn’s fault, but it’s also not good for the promotion of women’s basketball as part of our national sports landscape.

Competition is why we watch sports. Who is going to win? Without that drama, sports would be no different from the theater, ballet, or symphony. The UConn women are so good they have stripped their sport of all drama and competition and made it similar to performance art.

This is good for the game?

Stolen from the comments section - "The average winning margin by UCLA during their streak was 23.5 and it was 30.3 in the 1970-71 season. The Oklahoma football team won 47 straight games from 1953-7 with an average margin of victory of 28. Obviously both of those streaks were bad for their sport."

That was it. I went to dinner and didn’t think much of it.

Whoa. Husky Nation was not happy. My Twitter feed and e-mail box were peppered with angry UConn fans.

Fortunately, I’m used to this.

Dan Shaughnessy - pissing off his readers since 1981!

Then, UConn's coach drops the hammer:

At least that’s what I thought before UConn coach Geno Auriemma returned fire Sunday.

“When Tiger [Woods] was winning every major, nobody said he was bad for golf,’’ said the coach. “Actually he did a lot for golf. He made everybody have to be a better golfer.

“We don’t appreciate people for how good they are and what a good job they do, we always have to compare it to something. It’s only in women’s basketball. It’s the only sport where that happens.’’

Then came the zinger: “There are a lot better writers than Dan Shaughnessy, but that doesn’t mean he’s bad for the game.’’

Good one, Geno. And so very true.
...
Sports don’t grow in popularity unless people watch them on TV, and I don’t know a lot of sports fans who enjoy 98-38 in a tournament game.

The Huskies have no competition. Sorry, but how can this be a good thing for women’s basketball?

I think a comparison can be made to professional cycling and soccer. Did cycling grow in popularity during the Greg LeMond / Lace Armstrong dominance in the Tour de France? I think it was marginal at best. Is soccer, the world's favorite sport, growing in popularity in the United States? I think a lot of people watch the World Cup, and that's about it.

It's pretty clear to me that Shank wrote this just to piss people off, even if he made some valid points. That's the mark of the Grandmaster Troll.

UPDATE AT 8:18 PM: This column, in conjunction with the obligatory Deadspin pile-on post, is definitely bringing a little more attention to women's basketball, isn't? Mission accomplished, Danny Boy!

UPDATE II, AT 8:25 PM: Stolen from the Deadspin post's comments section, Shank's case falls apart some more with the comparison to the UCLA teams under John Wooden:

"The numbers are nearly identical.

UCLA Undefeated Seasons: 4

UCONN Undefeated Seasons: 5

UCLA Longest winning streak: 88 Games

UCONN Longest Winning Streak: 90 Games

UCLA Titles Under Wooden: 10

UCONN Titles Under Auriemma: 10"

UPDATE III, AT 8:40 PM: OK, this Deadspin comment was just too good not to repeat here:

"On the one hand, this is yet another terrible take by Shaughnessy. On the other, he is producing remarkably regular bowel movements for a man his age."

Someone Forgot To Call Their Bookie

Looks like Shank missed his chance to make an easy $100 or so:

UConn Women beat Miss St. 98-38 in NCAA tourney. Hate to punish them for being great, but they are killing women's game. Watch? No thanks

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) March 26, 2016

Shank's Twitter followers were their usual supportive and understanding selves:

@Dan_Shaughnessy you punish us by not retiring

— Richard (@richardnh33) March 26, 2016

@Dan_Shaughnessy Did John Wooden kill his game?

— RMoore1999 (@RMoore1999) March 26, 2016

@TonySchnell @Dan_Shaughnessy if you had a daughter on the team, you would feel differently. Give these women the credit they deserve.

— Patty Murphy (@pmurph98) March 26, 2016

@Dan_Shaughnessy Yeah, it's about as fair as it was for those Russell teams with 8HOF players on the same team.

— Allan Ayers (@RareAyers) March 26, 2016

Spring Paining

Seeing is believing, and because of that The CHB thinks how you perform in spring training predicts how you will perform once the bell is rung.

And he's worried, because the Red Sox pitchers aren't holding up their end of the performance bargain.

Well, let's look back to Spring Training 2013, the last time the Sox won the World Series. Here are the spring training and regular season ERAs for the seven pitchers with the most starts for the Sox that year:

Clay Buchholz: 0.79 ERA in 22.2 innings (1.74)
John Lackey; 5.40 ERA in 11.2 innings (3.52 regular season)
Jon Lester: 0.75 ERA in 24 innings (3.75)
Felix Doubrant: 3.00 ERA in 18 innings (4.52)
Ryan Dempster 3.74 in 21.2 innings (4.57)
Alan Webster: 1.64 ERA in 11 innings (8.60)

Not very predictable, was it?

And here are the numbers from 2015, when Boston finished last:

Buchholz: 2.84 in 19 innings (3.26)
Eduardo Rodriguez: 1.17 in 7.2 innings (3.85)
Wade Miley: 3.71 in 17 innings (4.46)
Henry Owens: 8.74 in 11.1 innings (4.57)
Joe Kelly: 11.05 in 7.1 innings (4.82)
Rick Porcello: 2.57 in 14 innings (4.95)
Justin Masterson: 3.52 in 23 innings (5.61)

Even less so last year,

But sure, let's keep insisting that you know more about baseball than the guys who actually run the game.

Panda Watch

Dan Shaughnessy, October 24, 2014:

SAN FRANCISCO — The Red Sox can’t sign Pablo Sandoval fast enough.

Truly. John, Tom, and Larry need to bring the Kung Fu Panda to Fenway Park.

Shank, same day:

I promise never to rip Sandoval for being out of shape or going on the disabled list.

Shank, seventeen months later:

FORT MYERS, Fla. — Sitting at a table in the Red Sox interview room Thursday morning, John Farrell was asked an innocent question about how he was going to divide playing time at third base — Pablo Sandoval vs. Travis Shaw — over the last week of spring training.

“Travis is starting today,’’ the manager answered. “Pablo is dealing with some low back stiffness on the ball he dove for the other day in Jupiter. He’s going to be down for a couple of days, just trying to get back. He’s going to be unavailable on a day-to-day status right now.’’

And so it begins . . .
...
Always portly, he somehow got heavier as the woeful season played out. There were no panda hats in the stands and not much damage by Sandoval at home plate. He hit only .245 with 10 homers and a measly 47 RBIs in 126 games. He made 15 errors. He got caught browsing photos on Instagram from a clubhouse bathroom in the middle of a game.

At the end of the dismal season, the Sox sent him home and told him to shape up. When Panda arrived this spring, he looked exactly the same as he looked the year before. A first-day photo of him fielding grounders was positively gut-wrenching. Still, Sandoval said he had nothing to prove and went about his work.

So much for that promise...

Picked Up Pablum - II / DHL Dan LIII

Finally, a correct call!

Metric tons of 'Get off my lawn!' themes ensues:

Picked-up pieces while thumbing through “The Wells Report In Context — Updated, Expanded, and Soon To Be A Major Motion Picture” . . .

■ I’m told that Pete Carroll wrote a letter to Roger Goodell asking if he can have a redo of the last 20 seconds of Super Bowl XLIX in Glendale, Ariz.

■ Opening Day is still two weeks away, and I’m sick of the David Ortiz Farewell Tour already. Sorry. Now Papi is telling us that the only folks who can comment on pimping homers are folks who have actually homered in the big leagues. Everyone else needs to “shut up.’’
...
Here’s part of a passionate missive from 283-game winner Jim Kaat, who also hit 16 homers during his four decades in the bigs: “I take exception to be told to shut up about being critical seeing batters flip their bat in celebration after a home run. David said they are either pitchers or fans who don’t know what it feels like to square up a 95 m.p.h. fastball.
...
■ We can all agree that White Sox 1B-DH Adam LaRoche is entitled to walk away from a $13 million contract if his feelings have been hurt by the team’s request to “dial it down” when it comes having his 14-year old son in the clubhouse every hour of every day, but as Mike Lupica noted, “This action . . . does not make him Rosa Parks.’’ Amen.

Shank's still not a fan of former Red Sox CF Jacoby Ellsbury:

■ Why we love the New York Daily News: Sunday’s back-page sub-headline: “Yanks relieved Jacoby is OK after fragile OF takes pitch off wrist.”

■ Goose Gossage would have made a fine sports columnist. Opinions galore.

That's only because Shank agrees with those opinions.

And in a rare aligning of the planets, Shank and Kirk Minihane agree on something:

■ Bob Kraft is ridiculous. Wants it both ways. Wants his draft picks, but also wants to keep his seat at the table with the other big-boy owners. You need to choose, Bob. Or keep quiet. You elected to roll over for the Commish and other owners last May. Don’t try to impress your fans now. Own it.

Can't have it both ways, Bob. Is he a shitty commish or no? https://t.co/yeZo8Fanpc

— Kirk Minihane (@kirkmin) March 21, 2016

Picked Up Pablum

Where's the obligatory Picked Up Pieces column? There's no way Shank goes on Zolak and Bertrand tomorrow without a script.

Holy Cross - Fin

Holy Cross played their real NCAA tournament game early Friday evening against #1 seed Oregon. By real, I mean this - the 68 to 64 games played before Thursday's and tonight's meaningful games can be successfully argued as bullshit games, given their recent contrivance designed to get a few extra games on the tele and increase those all important revenue numbers that the Boston Globe wishes it had. And yes, they got smoked, badly. Point spreads between #1 and #16 seeds are usually in the 30 point range and they couldn't even cover that. Shank, as of this writing, didn't even bother to tweet anything like 'good going, HC' even if it wouldn't have been entirely convincing.

Hope Shank's keeping up on current events, because we are!

Holy Cross - II

The NCAA men's basketball tournament started this week. Since 2011, there have been 68 teams invited to the tournament. The bottom eight teams played on Tuesday and Wednesday, and Shank's alma mater was one of the winners:

We are Holy Cross yahoos. We are Bob Cousy, Tommy Heinsohn, Ronnie Perry, Clarence Thomas, Ted Wells, John Morris, Eddie Jenkins, Gordie Lockbaum, Dick Berardino, Chris Matthews, John Provost, Mark Shriver, Clark Booth, Bill Simmons, and Nick Lovullo.

Me, too.

We are proud progeny of the oldest Jesuit school in New England (1843) and there was a time when we were a national NCAA sports power. That day has passed. So it is a big deal when a Holy Cross team makes a mark on the national sports landscape.

Holy Cross will now get slaughtered by play #1 seed Oregon on Friday night. Expect another column extolling the virtues of an old Jesuit school, or something.

UPDATE AT 1:45 PM - Isn't it interesting that Shank's been deriding Boston sports fans for years for being 'yahoos', but now it's okay as long as you're on the Holy Cross bandwagon? Thanks for the ammo, Shank!

Shank's Latest Hatchet Job / Smear

A few hours ago, the New England Patriots traded Chandler Jones to the Arizona Cardinals for Jonathan Cooper and a second-round pick from Arizona. Fellow Shank Boston Globe colleague Ben Volin reasons that the trade was done in order to avoid losing Jones in free agency next year, avoided paying him a monster contract when he hit free agency and at least got something for him by trading him now. In other words, it's a typical logical trade by Bill Belichick and the Patriots (Richard Seymour, etc.). Other local news outlets and sports oriented web sites have reported on and / or weighed in on the trade.

So how does Shank react to the trade?

Chandler Jones traded. Pats Media Cartel mobilizes. Clever Pats knew all along something wrong with Jones. Another steal of a deal.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) March 15, 2016

A few facts first - to the best of my knowledge and based on the stories linked above, there is no known current physical problem with Chandler Jones. This will be confirmed once both players involved in this trade undergo their physicals, the passing of which by both players is required to make the trade official.

So, what do we make of Shank's statement "Pats knew all along something wrong with Jones."? 1) We know Shank has no Patriots insider feeding him such a juicy tidbit, so that avenue's closed. 2) It's possible that Shank is referring to Jones' injury history, but that's speculation. 3) It's also speculation to wonder if Shank is referring to this incident when making that statement. 4) Shank is otherwise in possession of information that isn't known to a number of other sports reporters (UPDATE - or is it? ed.), or 5) Shank's pulling something out of his ass. I don't believe there are any other scenarios to consider here, right?

While it's difficult to assign percentages or probabilities on the outcomes, I will first offer my own speculation - Shank made that part of his statement / tweet to do what he does best - paint the New England Patriots in the worst light possible by asserting the most nefarious of motives (i.e., trading a player where there is 'something wrong' with said player). If Chandler fails his physical, Shank comes off looking like a genius. This is why I consider this outcome as the least likely one.

More likely in my opinion is this scenario / outcome - both players pass their physicals and Shank does one of the following things - he points to 2) or 3) above as his reason for making that part of his statement, or ignores any demands for a clarification or retraction, thus pointing to 5) as the most likely basis for that part of his tweet. It seems to me that 4) is off the table, as I have doubts as to the veracity of Shank claiming he got this info from outside the Patriots organization and somehow Ben Volin (and / or other reporters) missed it. I am certain there will be no direct Shank apology / retraction to the Patriots organization if he is proven wrong on this assertion of his.

And that is how you smear a professional sports team, folks.

UPDATE AT 7:12 PM - Surely he's not referring to Shank's tweet...

Not sure I've ever read a negative word about Chandler Jones as a football player until about 90 minutes ago.

— Kirk Minihane (@kirkmin) March 15, 2016

This will be interesting to see how it all sorts itself out, since the timelines between the tweets don't line up to point to Shank - Kirk seems to know something as well. Maybe it's injury related, or otherwise. Scenario 4), slightly modified, now in play...

Rehash Radio - V

Shank's been on for the past hour, talking about local sports (Boston College and the Catholic Memorial / Newton North incident), and we are 'promised' a discussion of Shank's latest column for the remainder of the hour. Original content, everybody!

On with @ZoandBertrand now until 1:00. We are talking about Catholic Memorial students banned from Garden for last night's tourney game

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) March 15, 2016

His Goose is Cooked

So Goose Gossage thinks analytics stink, and so does The CHB.

I ask you, then, what's an RBI? A ERA? An error?

Answer: They are analytics.

Perhaps he (and I'm referring to both dinosaurs here) doesn't realize that stats nerds recognize Reggie Jackson -- you know, the guy who won the World Series for the Yankees back when Goose was coming out of the bullpen? -- was unsung in his day for being 1. too obnoxious and 2. striking out too much while hitting for a low average. The stats guys are the ones who, even them, saw Reggie's true value.

Heck, if it weren't for the stats guys, Goose probably wouldn't be in the Hall of Fame. We're looking at a fellow who won all of 124 games in his career, never had more than 33 saves in a season, and is 23d all time in saves, behind such notables as Jose Mesa, Todd Jones and Francisco Cordero. Whoop-de-do.

All of this The CHB could have used as argument, were he not so lazy. Instead, he rehashes the Goose's rant against the Bill Jameses of baseball, and basically agrees with him, while adding that it doesn't really matter anyway.

This is where it gets great: The CHB writes, "We don’t need UZR or WAR to tell us that Dustin Pedroia is a winning ballplayer."

Except that Dustin Pedroia isn't a winning ballplayer, if finishing last three of four seasons means something. (Which to Shank, it does, except apparently in this column.)

And except that The CHB tried to start a call to dump Pedroia when he slumped in his rookie season. Who saved him? Bill James and the stats guys.

Also: Larry Bird watch!

No Shank Column Today?

If Shank doesn't bang out a column at some point today, what's he going to regurgitate when he goes on the radio with Zolak & Bertrand tomorrow?

But Enough About Shank

Well, not exactly! Shank bête noire Kirk Minihane's Twitter feed will now become standard daily reading. Among the many amusing tweets, we list those with a distinctly Shankian flavor.

On Shank's false start tweet from Monday:

Freshest take in 20 years. https://t.co/XvOgj5jiff

— Kirk Minihane (@kirkmin) March 7, 2016

On Shank's lack of interest in opining on the John Farrell reporter boinking story:

@kirkmin Could u imagine if Belichickwere tagging a reporter 21 years his jr? Shaughnessy would be on his 45th column right now. #fraud

— Jeff Wakely(@jrwakely) March 9, 2016

No question. Total fraud on this one. https://t.co/6GJPJM9Dk6

— Kirk Minihane(@kirkmin) March 9, 2016

On Kirk dealing with other assholes at the Boston Globe:

Just spoke to Kevin Paul DuPont, who spent a summer trying to get me fired. Asked him to come on podcast -- couldn't decline fast enough.

— Kirk Minihane(@kirkmin) March 10, 2016

@kirkmin how else did the call go?

— WaterBoysPod (@waterboyspod) March 10, 2016

Civil with extreme mutual hatred. https://t.co/WWIP52z75n

— Kirk Minihane(@kirkmin) March 10, 2016

Don't hold back, brother!

Speaking of other Boston area sports media types who have some questionable tastes in music (retweeted by Kirk):

@kirkmin Remember that time @Gary_Tanguay said I Get Around by the Beach Boys was his favorite song of all time. Is he a serial killer?

— Christopher Bilodeau(@cbilodeau1) March 11, 2016

Holy Cross

Since Shank's alma mater is in the NCAA basketball tournament, we are spared the pain of a picked up pieces column and get a halfway decent and completely predictable column instead.

If you remember the golden days of Holy Cross sports, you also remember the Korean War, iceboxes, the Army-McCarthy hearings, and the Boston Braves. You have qualified for Medicare and you can withdraw from your 401K without penalty.

I'm sure my grandfather does...

Fake Shaughnessy Column

A reader sent this along yesterday, wondering why Shank's not writing about this story. He opines, rightly, had this been about a certain head football coach, you bet your ass there would have a Shank column by now (or two, or three!). This notion is shared by others:

Is there is a bigger fraud than Dan Shaughnessy in the entire media world? Had Bill Belichick been having a relationship with a reporter twenty years his junior, would Shaughnessy have completely ignored the topic in his columns as he has with John Farrell?

I'm pretty sure we have the answer to that question. Since there's now common ownership with the Red Sox and the Boston Globe, certain things will not be mentioned or written about by Boston Globe writers. This is one of them.

And now, without further adieu, the Fake Shaughnessy Column. Take a bow, Anonymous Reader Guy!

Love is.....
By: Dan Shaughnessy
Boston Globe
March 10, 2016

There's supposed to be no cheering in the press box, but as the great Stephen Stills once said, "Love the one your with."

Boston's manager who is already under fire for 2 straight last place finishes finds the ice cracking beneath his feet after revelations of a "relationship" between himself and Jessica Moran of CSNNE (Full disclosure, I'm able to scam both the Red Sox owners and CSNNE mgmt. out of pay checks).

This is the kind of behavior we've come to expect from Bob Kraft and the Lovely Rikki down in Foxborough.

When Farrell was hired he was supposed to be John Wayne, instead he thinks he's John Holmes.

Sox ownership has to be embarrassed about this. (If you've noticed I never asked what Sox owner Tom Werner knew about Dr. Cosby and when he knew it.).

The bloodthirsty shut ins are getting their pounds of flesh over on sports radio, I look down my nose at them even as I grab a check once a week.

Why does Moran have to resign and not Farrell? She's in the media, she can't be in the wrong.

But that's not how it works.

KissCam at Fenway has taken on a whole new meaning.

Who will replace Moran's ability to read off of a teleprompter and the hard work that goes into that? I wouldn't have resigned (Marge Schott took a run at me one night but that's another story for another time) If I was Jess I'd take Warren Zevon's advice and have dad send "Lawyers, guns and money".

Oh well, CSNNE is sending someone named Trenni down here to replace Jess.

If Red Sox Maestro Dr. Charles Steinber was still alive we'd be doing the dating game (Tom Selleck was on it, he used to own a Tigers hat) between innings on the infield with your host Bob Eubanks (Jim Lange passed a couple of years ago)

"Batchelor #1, If I were to sit on your lap, what would we talk about?"

Answer: "The 1st thing that pops up and I don't mean the infield fly rule."

Oh well, CSNNE is sending someone named Trenni down here to replace Jess.

Only time I've ever heard of her she was whining about getting the runs at the Socchi Olympics. (And Bob Costas thought he had problmes with his pink eye).

Opening day is coming up, now's the time for NESN to bring back Sox Appeal.

Dan Shaughnessy is a Globe Columnist

A Column About Nothing

Shank must be feeling those early spring blues. His most recent 'effort' aims to resolve one of the most perplexing and difficult questions facing all Boston sports fans:

Spring is saved. Our winter sports teams are good again. There will be playoffs and it might not be as bad and bloody as we once feared. The Celtics’ and Bruins’ seasons might last longer than John Farrell as Red Sox manager.

Think back a few months and remember the anxiety. The Bruins were “hoping” to make the playoffs. They fired their GM. The owner admitted the product was sagging. Fans were angry and many called for the firing of coach Claude Julien. Media piled on.

The Celtics? Not talented enough. A playoff bubble team, destined to be one-and-done in a four-game sweep like the one we witnessed last year vs. Mighty LeBron and the Cleveland Cavaliers. It was all about waiting for the lottery. Bring on Ben Simmons.
...
Celtics or Bruins?

That's going out on a limb, isn't it?

In true Shank Shaughnessy fashion, he will bury both of these teams once they're eliminated from the playoffs.

Sitting Out An Election

"Of all the gin joints towns in Massachusetts, Shank runs for office in mine..."

Rehash Radio - IV

The only reason Shank wrote about Peyton Manning yesterday is that he needed something to discuss this morning:

On now with @ZoandBertrand til 1:00. Zo wants to crush John Farrell. Should be interesting, as always . . .

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) March 8, 2016

Mail it in, phone it in, whatever...

To the End, He Won't 'Manning' Up

Consider: A high-priced, aging athlete ...

1. Consistently chokes in the biggest games of his career
2. Racks up major stats in garbage time
3. Is sued not once, but twice for sexual harassment -- and pays out both times
4. Receives banned performance-enhancing substances at his house in his wife's name

No, I'm not talking about Roger Clemens, aka "The Texas Con Man." Rather, it's Peyton Manning, whom one Dan Shaughnessy cannot quite understand why Boston fans are less than enamored with.


Consider: The CHB loves to ridicule players who fail at the least opportune time, and rarely misses a chance to remind fans of it, even years later.

Consider: The CHB mocks teams that do well when the pressure is "off."

Consider: The CHB disparages athletes accused of crimes against the fairer sex.

Consider: The CHB to this day insinuates that David Ortiz took PEDs, and refuses to bestow Hall of Fame votes for other players whom he thinks must have been users.

So why does The CHB not get why Boston doesn't think much of the hyper-inflated reputation that is Peyton Manning? And why, on the day of his retirement and in the midst of blowing one last wet kiss Manning's way, would The CHB take the opportunity to trash the Patriots and their fans?

Because when you have no facility for insight, and no ability for communicating, this is the best you can do.

False Start

Shank's tweet, presumably about Peyton Manning's retirement speech, did not go as planned:

Around here, it

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) March 7, 2016

Reader feedback was supportive and understanding:

@Dan_Shaughnessy first thing you've tweeted in a long time that I've agreed with

— ben (@botsy_) March 7, 2016

@Dan_Shaughnessy Crushing beers on a Monday, Danny?

— Tony P. (@2mmtony) March 7, 2016

@Dan_Shaughnessy danshaving a stroke

— briancraig(@brianc150) March 7, 2016

@Dan_Shaughnessy Most sense he ever made.

— King Kimo(@IslandKing63) March 7, 2016

DSW Milestone Reached

I forgot to note this a few days ago - the first post on Thursday was # 2,000 for Dan Shaughnessy Watch and if this podcast is any indication, we'll have Shank to kick around for many, many more posts!

Bud Collins, RIP

Shank delivers a solid, well written eulogy for former Globe sportswriter Bud Collins. This is the kind of column Shank's capable of when he's not writing about professional athletes, where his default mode is scorched earth.

The One Where Shank Repeatedly Lies To Kirk Minihane

Reader Walter R. asked if I listened to the Kirk Minihane / Dan Shaughnessy podcast from last week, so I finally got around to it now. In this podcast, Shank claims not to hate Patriots owner Robert Kraft and Jerry Thornton, among many, many other lies and / or disingenuous statements, including a 'I'll tell you off the air' comment from Shank concerning personal decisions with Comcast Sports New England. Kudos to Minihane for bringing that particular matter up (Shank's involvement with getting Minihane shitcanned from his Comcast Sports New England gig).

Walter thinks Minihane could have gone after Shank stronger and challenge him on his many strawman / bullshit arguments. I would tend to agree, except for this notion - something else is afoot, and I think it's a damn good move on Kirk's part. I see this podcast is a) an olive branch of sorts or b) some other effort to co-opt and / or neutralize Shank with respect to Minihane, in a Corleone 'keep your friends close and your enemies closer' manner.

Best part of the podcast is towards the end - the Kirk Minihane avatar of 'Goofy Shank' will remain!

Cheap prediction - this won't be the last Minihane / Shaughnessy podcast.

Incisive Legal Analysis, By Dan Shaughnessy

The Deflategate saga entered a new phase today as a three judge Federal panel in New York City heard arguments from both sides a few hours ago. Naturally, Shank weighs in as only he can:

Do Berman's fellow judges think he is a fanboy? Too early to say, but got to wonder after what went down in court today.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) March 3, 2016

His Reputation Precedes Him

Among other things, we've been documenting Shank's positive, constructive relations with professional athletes for over a decade, and have occasionally opined on our own local sports media from time to time to note their positive, constructive relations with professional athletes. So it should surprise no one when discussing the latter, the former gets a proforma mention:

If it’s Boston, it must mean a feud between a player and a member of the media. It’s gone on for years whether it was Ted Williams vs. the media, Carl Yastrzemski vs. the media, Bill Belichick vs. the media or Dan Shaughnessy vs. every player he’s covered. The latest edition of this feud has Boston Celtics point guard Isaiah Thomas vs. Comcast SportsNet New England host Gary Tanguay.

Isiah Thomas made this year's All-Star team, and Tanguay says he's not good enough to be a 'foundation player'? I realize you need at least three solid players to establish a championship level team, but saying this Isiah Thomas would not be one of them strikes this blogger as quite wrong, or stupid. That's the same level of stupid as Shank calling Hanley Ramirez and Pablo Sandoval "the most reviled local tandem" in local professional sports. In other words, QED.

Shank Lowers the Boo

False equivalencies run amok in today's throw-away column from The CHB.

He calls Hanley Ramirez and Pablo Sandoval the "most reviled local tandem" since former Celtics players Curtis Rowe and Sidney Wicks. Most reviled? No one really cares enough to "revile" them, Shank.

All of this seems to confuse the Nattering Nabob of Newton. "You don’t fly to Florida to boo Hanley Ramirez." Right. And there's not much reason to pay the Red Sox' overinflated ticket prices at Fenway to boo them either. But apparently The CHB flew to Florida (on someone else's credit card, of course) to count the boos and then write about them.

What The CHB doesn't seem to get is that the essence of "fan" is "devotee." We like baseball, and we like those athletes good enough to play it. It requires talent, something The CHB never had and, ahem, reviles in those who do. Which is why he resort such Trumpian-like machinations as calling various sports figures fat, prima donnas, lazy, disingenuous, con men, and other such niceties.

No, a fat, prima donna, lazy, disingenuous, con man is someone who writes the same column for 30 years and think he's genius.