DHL Dan CCLXXXI - The Little Brother Column

Shank makes a few interesting comparisons in this week's Picked Up Pieces column:

Note to Boston front-office folks: Draft the player with many older siblings, and other thoughts

Picked up pieces while listening to Mitch Miller Christmas carols …

⋅ There’ll be a lot of pressure on Drake Maye in Baltimore on Sunday night. He’s coming back from a lukewarm game, 5-for-12 passing for 47 yards and a pick in the disastrous second half against the Bills, trying to get the Patriots back on the winning path and perhaps advancing his MVP candidacy. Oh, and he’ll be doing it on “Sunday Night Football” against a talented, desperate team that’s coming off a 24-0 victory.

Maye is still only 23, but I think he can handle it. Never doubt the guy who grew up playing with three talented older brothers.

Call it the “George Brett Syndrome.”

Brett, Kansas City’s Hall of Fame infielder, had three older brothers, one of whom (Ken) broke in with the Red Sox and pitched in the 1967 World Series less than a month after turning 19.

Baby brother George came to the bigs six years later and was never bothered by anything. He almost hit .400 one season (.390 in 1980), won a World Series in 1985, and cruised into the Hall of Fame on the first ballot in 1999.

Same thing with a kid named Larry Joe Bird. Larry had two older brothers and came to Boston with confidence and attitude uncommon for a quiet rookie.

DHL Dan CCXLIX - It Don't Come Easy

In thi week's Picked up Pieces column, Shank weighs in on the 2024 - 2025 Boston Celtics and their chances of repeat championships:

Since the dynasty of the ’60s many Celtics teams have failed to repeat, so this won’t be easy, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while wondering if DOGE recruited its staffers from Driveline …

Your 2024-25 Boston Celtics are hoping to win back-to-back NBA championships.

Larry Bird, Robert Parish, and Kevin McHale never did it. Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, and Ray Allen couldn’t do it. Dave Cowens and Jo Jo White couldn’t get it done, either.

No. The only Celtics teams to win consecutive championships were the Bill Russell-led teams of the 1960s.

And they did it a lot.

Put it this way: When I walked into first grade at Groton Elementary School in September 1959, the Boston Celtics were defending NBA champs.

Hail To The Chief!

It's been a while since we heard from Boston Celtics legend Robert Parish, and it's not entirely positive:

Decades later, Robert Parish reveals in Celtics doc why he chose to sit out Larry Bird’s legendary fight with Dr. J

There’s new information on a very old Boston sports moment.

Celtics Hall of Fame center Robert Parish is acknowledging he harbored bad feelings toward legendary teammate Larry Bird, and demonstrated his disappointment by letting Bird take a beating in a landmark brawl with Julius Erving and the Philadelphia 76ers during a regular-season game at the Old Garden way back in November 1984.

“This is the first time anybody’s hearing this,” Parish says in a new HBO documentary on the Celtics (first episode airs next Monday). “This was the only time that I didn’t feel a closeness to Larry . . . [because] after I was beefing about contracts with the Celtics [in 1983], to be honest, Larry didn’t support me.”

Who cares? Why give fresh air to this old topic now?

Because this is Boston and this is Larry Bird and everything from back then still matters now. The Chief’s somewhat distant relationship with his starry teammates has always been mysterious. Parish snubbed the team-sponsored reunion of the 1985-86 Celtics in 2016 and has been scarce around TD Garden since retiring.

Well, now it's out in the open, for better or worse...

DHL Dan CLX - Eyes On The Prize

Back from his grueling two week trip to Fort Myers to write all of three columns on the 2023 spring training Boston Red Sox, Shank turns his attention to Celtics ace Jayson Tatum and wants him to turn his attention to...

It’s time for Jayson Tatum to focus on the prize that really matters, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while hoping my pipes don’t freeze and wondering why I came back from Florida …

▪ Enough with the MVP campaign, birthday parties, signature shoes, Subway sandwiches, and hunger for individual accolades.

It’s time for Jayson Tatum to step up and lead the Celtics to the NBA championship.

Tatum is clearly the most talented player on this Celtics team and is on a path to crack into the franchise’s all-time starting five (Bill Russell, Larry Bird, John Havlicek, Bob Cousy, Paul Pierce, Kevin McHale, Kevin Garnett, Sam Jones, and Dave Cowens are my top nine). He was just named All-Star MVP and has a chance to break Bird’s team record for single-season scoring average (29.9 in 1987-88).

Tatum turns 25 this coming week and is in his sixth season in the league. In Bird’s first six NBA seasons, he won two championships and two MVPs.

The Immortal David Ortiz

Alternate Friends title - The One Where Shank Pretends To Like David Ortiz:

David Ortiz already achieved baseball immortality in Boston, and now the Hall of Fame has made it official

COOPERSTOWN, N. Y. — David Ortiz, a man who forever changed the fortunes of the Boston Red Sox, is a Baseball Hall of Famer.

Already immortal in Boston sports lore, the beloved Big Papi was welcomed to the Hall Sunday, serving as the walkoff speaker on a sun-splashed afternoon after six other 2022 inductees were feted by the baseball world.

“I will always be Boston,” Ortiz said toward the end of a 19-minute speech during which he alternated between English and Spanish. “I will always be there for you, Boston. I love you, Boston.”

In front of an estimated crowd of 35,000 gathered on the lawn and hills in the cradle of baseball, the 46-year-old Ortiz was enshrined along with 83-year-old Jim Kaat, 84-year-old Tony Oliva, and four baseball legends who have already passed: Gil Hodges, Buck O’Neil, Minnie Miñoso, and Bud Fowler (who actually grew up in Cooperstown). Big Papi’s 21-year-old daughter, Alex Veda, performed the national anthem before the induction program.

Contrast Shank's current near reverence of Big Papi with his attitude towards the latter nine years ago:

In 2013, I came off the DL and started hot. My first 20 games I was hitting like .400. And the reporter with the red jheri curl from The Boston Globe comes into the locker room says, “You’re from the Dominican. You’re older. You fit the profile of a steroid user. Don’t you think you’re a prime suspect?”

He’s saying this with a straight face. I had taken like 70 at-bats. Anybody can get hot and hit .400 with 70 at-bats. I was stunned. I’m like, I’m Dominican? I fit the profile? Are you kidding me?

I wanted to kill this guy. But you can’t react. That’s what they want. They want you to get angry so they can bury you. So I just smiled at him and asked for his address.

“Why do you want my address?” he said.

“Because I just got tested two days ago.” I said. “I’ll mail you the f****ing results.”

This is a reporter from my own city coming to my locker and telling me I’m too good, that I must be on some shit. I’m sitting there thinking, Man, I get tested 10 times a year and I’ve helped win this town two World Series titles in 2004 and 2007 and this guy who has never played a game of professional baseball in his life is telling me I’m a suspect.

My test was clean just like the other 8 or 9 tests that season. My batting average settled down to .300, because of course it did. I hit like 30 home runs and we won the World Series. Was that acceptable for the reporter? Were my numbers too high for a player from the Dominican? Should I have taken another blood test before popping the damn champagne?

He never apologized.

Red jheri curl - does Shank have some awesome nicknames, or what?

To restate the 2013 brouhaha with Shank and Ortiz with a bit more pith, let's turn it over to former DSW blogger Dave M (some emphasis mine):

In case you have not been following, last week Dan Shaughnessy quickly ripped into Ortiz after Ortiz’s name was leaked to be on “the list” of steroid users. Shaughnessy declared “David Ortiz lied to you. It seems safe to say that his entire Red Sox career is a lie.” Never mind that Shaughnessy never talked to Ortiz. Never mind that Shaughnessy did not know what Ortiz tested positive for. Never mind that Shaughnessy did not know there was a question of the validity of the test. Never mind that Ortiz did not know he even tested positive for anything. These things did not matter because Shaughnessy was in such a rush to punch out a column. There was no time for fact checking; there was no time for corroboration; there was nothing anyone would expect of a professional journalist. No, this was yellow journalism at its finest This was Shaughnessy…. ever ready to bury a hatchet in someone, any proof be damned.

...

Shaughnessy may eventually prove to be right about Ortiz. But that doesn’t matter. At the time he accused Ortiz of being a liar, he did not have the information to make the accusation. He did not seek the full story because he is lazy. He was ready to prematurely attack because he is vindictive. If anyone lied to us, it was Shaughnessy. If anything is tainted, it is his ethics. He is the one who should be suspended for a year. And he is not the only one – Massarotti and Ryan and many others also piled on. It was disgraceful and shameful.

I'd go with 'bearing false witness' mysef, but these are somewhat equivalent terms, or sins in the biblical lexicon. In the sense that Shank's changing his tune nowadays without any mea culpa, he's still lying / covering his ass.

Bonus - a Larry Bird reference!

Another Excerpt From Shank's Latest Book

The Boston Globe published a little more from Shank's book on the Larry Bird era Celtics:

Book excerpt: Remembering the first Celtics-Lakers NBA Finals of the Larry Bird era

The Celtics host the Lakers Friday night at TD Garden (wotta coincidence! - ed.) , and any renewal of one of the great NBA rivalries always conjures memories of their historic matchups.

With that in mind, this has been excerpted from “Wish It Lasted Forever — Life With the Larry Bird Celtics” by Dan Shaughnessy. Copyright ©2021 by Dan Shaughnessy. Reprinted by permission of Scribner, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

The Bird-Magic Finals of the NBA’s golden 1980s — the Celtics and Lakers met three times in a stretch of four seasons between 1984-87 — were like the Muhammad Ali-Joe Frazier title fights. The first of the three Bird-Magic bouts came in 1984 after the Celtics beat the Milwaukee Bucks in the Eastern Conference finals, while the Lakers advanced in the West against the Phoenix Suns.

CBS was ecstatic. Boston-LA meant that Larry Bird and Magic Johnson would be meeting in a championship event for the first time since NBC set unbreakable ratings records with its broadcast of the Bird-Magic NCAA Final in 1979. At least one of them had been in the NBA Finals in each of their first four NBA seasons, but this was the first championship series featuring both.

The Celtics and Lakers were the Yankees and Dodgers of pro basketball. They’d played in seven NBA Finals from 1959 to 1969 with Boston winning every one. Lakers fans were haunted by the 1962 finale, when Frank Selvy’s potential series winner clanged off the rim at the Boston Garden. LA general manager Jerry West experienced what he called the low point of his life when the Lakers couldn’t beat Boston in 1969. A Celtics-Lakers Final in 1984 meant that the league’s two showcase franchises accounted for 60 percent (23 of 38) of all NBA crowns in the first four decades of the league’s existence. (In the COVID summer of 2020, the LeBron James Lakers won their seventeenth NBA crown, finally tying the Celtics for most championship banners.)

What's Old Is New Again

It seems Shank wrote a book about the 1980's era Boston Celtics recently, and now there's an excerpt or two making the rounds. Here's part of one of them:

During the 1985 Eastern Conference Finals against Philadelphia, Bird’s ever-crooked right index finger was newly mangled and swollen.

The day before Game 5, Bird practiced with his right hand taped in a web-like fashion. His ring and pinky fingers were wrapped together, as were his middle and index fingers. At the end of practice, he stopped on his way to the locker room and took questions.

“Larry, you can’t play in a playoff game with your hand taped like that, can you?” I asked.

“You never know,” he teased. “It’s a different feeling. I don’t like anything taped because then it just doesn’t feel like it usually does. It’s difficult to shoot when you have something on your hand. Although I don’t think Greg Kite has anything to worry about. He could wear a cast.”

“But seriously,” I pushed. “You’re not going to tape it like that for the game tomorrow, are you?”

“Scoop, I could tape my whole hand up and make more shots than you.”

...

The worse I got, the better he got. Bird made 46 of his last 50. He made 73 of 80 after figuring it out in the first two rounds. He made 86 of 100 free throws with a taped fist. I made 54.

“You owe me $160,” he said.

Seems a few details were left out of this 'excerpt', like - 'how'd Bird's hand get injured?' and 'did Shank actually cough up $160 to Larry Legend?' First question first:

Larry was MVP in ’84, ’85, and ’86, and the height of his powers was ’85. He was on the cover of Time magazine and it was a big deal. That’s when he had the 60-point game in New Orleans against the Atlanta Hawks. So, we found out later he’d gotten in a barroom fight in downtown Boston, down by Faneuil Hall. It was a bar, I think it was called Chelsea’s. Larry had come to the defense of a teammate, or some issue, and doing the old-school Indiana thing he swung at a guy and he messed up his hand. And he was taping it at practice, and it was a very odd-looking kind of a web-taping, splitting his hand into two sets of fingers.

And question #2 - Dan Shaughnessy, cheapskate!

HIMMELSBACH: So wait, you expensed the $160 that you lost in a shooting contest?

SHAUGHNESSY: Yes, and evidently the IRS frowns on the word ‘wager’ in expense accounts, (because it's a personal expense, maybe? - ed.) because it bounced back and they said ‘You cannot put ‘wager’ in an expense account.’ So I just made it eight $20 lunches with [Celtics center] Robert Parish. We just substituted.

The First 60 Point Game By A Member Of The Celtics

Jayson Tatum scored 60 points against the San Antonio Spurs last week, which also capped off a 32 point comeback. This amazing feat ties the Boston Celtics' record of sixty points, set by Shank's buddy, Larry Bird:

Unstoppable and unforgettable: Recalling Larry Bird’s 60-point night in 1985

It was March 12, 1985. Lakefront Arena on the campus of the University of New Orleans. The night Larry Bird scored 60 points in a single game for the Celtics.

Kevin McHale was there. Nine days earlier, he had scored 56 against the Pistons in a Sunday matinee at the old Boston Garden. When McHale went to the bench with a few ticks still left on the clock, Bird urged him to stay on the court. The record might not last long, Larry insisted.

“We had a lot of guys on that team who could get hot like that,” McHale said from his home in Arizona this week. “Max. Tiny. Robert. Larry. And when a guy got hot, we’d get him the ball. That’s what Larry did for me when I set the record, and we were all helping him that night in New Orleans.”

Interesting side note to the story - Bird only hit one three-point shot in that game.

Bad News For The Celtics Is Good News For Shank

The Boston Celtics got beat like a rented mule last night (mostly in the third quarter) by the Miami Heat. Shank, not unsurprisingly, gets a column about the extra curricular activities in the locker room after the game:

Celtics have gone quickly from feel-good story to family feud

The Celtics have won one championship in 34 years and yet we still talk about them as if they are a dynasty.

Do you talk about them like they're a dynasty? I sure don't. The Red Sox won it all in 2004 and 2007 and I don't recall them being called a dynasty; maybe from some quarters they were. The Patriots however, are another matter, and the Bruins can't be in that conversation, not having won Lord Stanley's Cup in years near or next to each other.

Brad Stevens has never won a championship anywhere and we talk about him as if he’s Red Auerbach or Bill Belichick.

Again - what's with this 'we' shit'? He's simply using the plural form to pretend more people are on board with this notion than they're actually are.

Now this. The Celtics just blew two playoff games, and we have a locker room of young players yelling at one another, throwing things off walls, questioning their coach, and perhaps being restrained from attacking one another in fits of anger.

With a chance to advance to the NBA Finals, we have a team that has blown leads of 14 points and 17 points in back-to-back losses to the Miami Heat.

I didn't watch the entire game (barelyt watched it at all, with an entertaining NFL game on and a buddy coming by to run a few games of cribbage), and that third quarter spurt by the Miami Heat was my roommate's observation. Shank points out some contributing factors as to how Boston and Miami came into this series and then brings up the question of whether they can rebound from all of this (pun fully intended!) and you damn well know whose name he's gonna drop:

The Celtics can rebound from this. When the 1984 Celtics were routed by the Lakers in Game 3 of the Finals, Larry Bird said, “We don’t have the players with the heart sometimes that we need … We played like sissies.”

Those guys came back to win their series in seven games.

What about the 2020 Celtics?

...

It’s time for Stevens to step up. Give us a little less Fred Rogers and a little more Fred Smerlas. Go Cro-Magnon for a few days. Challenge your players' manhood. Call out some of your young players in the media. Draw up a zone offense. Throw the picket fence at the Heat and tell them not to get caught watching the paint dry.

It’s time for the 2020 Celtics to summon the spirit of Red and Russell and Cousy and Bird. Time for them to stop losing games and throwing chairs. Time for the 2020 Celtics to earn the everlasting love they always get around here.

Starting Saturday night in the bubble.

I have to say I agree 100% with this notion. Maybe the locker room argument / fight sets another tone, like another infamous singular act did back in 1984. I'm really surprised he didn't mention that play; that was a clear series turning event. Let's see how this one turns out and I hope the Celtics can come back from this and kick ass.

DHL Dan CII - The Larry And Me Column

The surest sign of cabin fever yet is this column:

There were a few bumps in the road between me and Larry Bird

Larry and me.

It was complicated.

I spend a lot of hours in the Wayback Machine these days. Hard not to. I am surrounded by old photos, old journals, and yellowed newspaper clips. I turn on ESPN and there’s Larry Bird going up against the Lakers in the “Heat Game” in the 1984 NBA Finals. And there’s young me at the courtside press table wearing gigantic eyeglasses that Michael Caine made famous in the 1980s.

This column's a bit too self-indulgement for my tastes - your mileage may vary.

Old Tyme Trolling

Shank's latest column has him going back to the well on a theme. See if you can pick up on it:

Worried about the Patriots’ standing in the AFC East? Don’t be

Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski are gone. Bill Belichick has quarterbacks named Jarrett Stidham and Brian Hoyer. The Hoodie used his first draft pick on a player from that well-known football factory Lenoir-Rhyne. Patriots players and staffers are fleeing Foxborough. Belichick has no cap space and the toughest schedule in the NFL this year. USA Today has New England 19th in its latest power rankings.
Clearly, the Patriots are a shell of their former selves.

It’s almost as if Belichick is intentionally handicapping himself — like when Larry Bird pledged to take only lefthanded shots in a road win at Portland back in 1986.

I mean, besides the gratuitous mention of Larry Legend!

How can Belichick be so Bird-like, cocky and calm, while the Patriot dynasty seems to be crumbling?

I give you three words: Bills, Dolphins, Jets.

Meet the New Tomato Cans. Same as the Old Tomato Cans. The Jets, Dolphins, and Bills are still Moe, Larry, and Curly. They are knuckleheads, porcupines, and lamebrains.

The reemergence of the Tomato Can meme aligns completely with the other part of this theme - The Patriots suck, but still no one else can beat them. He will not, of course, be bothered with this self-contradictory statement because he'll be singing a different tune in a few weeks or so.

Shank's Next Column?

Boston Celtics legend Larry Bird turn 63 today. Does Shank walk down memory lane again with a tribute column?

HBD : Larry the Legend is 63 today.

💍 3x Champion
🏆 3x MVP
🎖 2x Finals MVP
🥈 3x All Defensive
⭐ 12x All-Star
📊 24.3 pts, 10.0 rebonds, 6.3 assists, 49.6% 3PT avg

pic.twitter.com/zOBqea3YJN

— Boston Radio Watch® (@bostonradio) December 7, 2019

He's Got His Number

Thirteen weeks into the 2019-2020 pro football season, Shank writes something complimentary about the New England Patriots:

HOUSTON — New Englanders love this place. This is where 28-3 happened in February 2017 and where the Tom Brady-Bill Belichick Patriots won their second Super Bowl in February 2004. Houston is where the 2018 Red Sox eliminated the cheatin’ Houston Astros in Game 5 of the American League Championship Series on a night when David Price beat Justin Verlander. It’s where Larry Bird won his first NBA championship in May 1981 and where Roger Clemens learned how to throw a fastball in the 1970s. Houston was headquarters to our space program when Derry, N.H.’s Alan Shepard walked on the moon in 1971.

And it is the home of the Houston Texans, a sometimes formidable football team that is constitutionally incapable of beating the New England Patriots.

So, here we go again. We are Lucy holding the football and the Texans are Charlie Brown lining up for a kick, ever hopeful that it will be different this time. But everyone knows it will not be different.

Lots of Shank staples in this one - there's a Larry Bird reference, lots of references to other sports and the signature reuse of previous columns, so there's your triple play for the day.

Bruins Loss = Shank Hockey Column

Like the sun rising and setting...

The script was perfect. Local star leader plays with injury, endures unspeakable pain, yet paces his team to victory.

There was that night in the Bronx when Curt Schilling bled into his sock because of a surgically repaired tendon and beat the Yankees in the American League Championship Series. And then there was that time Larry Bird slammed his head on the parquet floor of the Old Garden, went to the locker room, and returned to torch the Indiana Pacers in a playoff game. Oh, and let’s not forget Patriots quarterback Drew Bledsoe beating the Dolphins despite playing with a metal pin sticking out of the index finger of his throwing hand.

Not Thursday night in the Stanley Cup Final. With 42-year-old captain Zdeno Chara playing with what might be a broken jaw, the Bruins lost the crucial fifth game, 2-1, at the heavy hands of the St. Louis Blues. Boston trails in the series, 3-2, and plays Game 6 Sunday night in St. Louis.

He Loves LA

A comment from a few days ago:

Wait, what? No Boston has/LA has column?

That's not far off the mark, as Shank hijacks the bandwagon yet again!

A great place for the Red Sox to beat LA is in LA

I have framed copies of all Globe front pages from Boston sports championships won in this century. The datelines under those happy headlines are NEW ORLEANS, HOUSTON, ST. LOUIS, JACKSONVILLE, DENVER, VANCOUVER, GLENDALE, and HOUSTON (again). Two of the 10 titles were won in Boston and required no dateline.

Now, with plenty of wall space available, I am ready to add: LOS ANGELES.

The Red Sox play Games 3 and 4 of the 2018 World Series at Dodger Stadium Friday and Saturday. Game 5, if necessary, would be played Sunday night at Chavez Ravine. This means the historic, 117-win Red Sox have a chance to win Boston’s first championship in Los Angeles since Bill Russell and Sam Jones beat the Wilt Chamberlain/Elgin Baylor/Jerry West Lakers at the Los Angeles Forum 49 years ago.

You can see where it's going from there, as Shank regales us with the Boston / L.A. matchups across all sports from the past six decades, which of course features a few Larry Bird sightings.

Best comment from that column:

How big is the wall for Boston athletes who won't talk to you ?

I'm pretty sure that would require an entire room...

Larry Bird Watch?

Well, not exactly! The Boston Celtics picked Jabari Bird in the second round of last year's NBA draft, and he had a couple of nice dunks in a recent NBA Summer League game. I can hardly wait for Shank to take notice and make some cheesy wordplay between the two Birds. Of course, that would require Shank to actually watch a few games.

Almost Back On The Bandwagon

Shank's pretending to like the Red Sox again, albeit with a few caveats:

NEW YORK — Things did not get off to a swell start for your Boston Red Sox in the first game of their showdown series with the Yankees on Friday.

New York’s Baby Bombers rained four homers on the heads of the Sox en route to an 8-1 victory that vaulted the Yankees back into first place (mere percentage points; it is a virtual tie) in a division race that is shaping up as one of the greatest chases in the history of the sport.

There's a brief showing of halfwit cleverness:

There is no shortage of hype for this midseason meeting — the rumble in the asphalt jungle of The Bronx. The folks from Fox will telecast the Saturday night game across the land — hello Chris Sale — and then we’ll get ESPN’s Sunday Night Baseball with A-Rod and Jess Mendoza, as David Price returns to the Apple for the first time in more than 3½ fortnights.

Fortnite? Get it? I thought Shank liked Price - what gives?

Throw in a Shankism or two:

The Sox, who came into the series with a 55-27 record, presumably spent the first four innings of Friday’s loss asking one another, “Why aren’t we ahead, 9-1 yet? Is this supposed to be competitive? Why can’t we go back to playing the Angels and Orioles every day?’’

It’s always weird when the Tomato Can is in your own kitchen.

New York jumped to a 1-0 lead in the second when rookie flash Gleyber Torres smoked a leadoff triple off the center-field wall. Spiderman Jackie Bradley Jr. almost made another spectacular catch, then narrowly missed nailing Torres with a heat-seeking throw to third. A price was paid when Miguel Andujar dumped the next pitch into a no-man’s zone in shallow right-center. The ball plopped on the grass in the middle of four Sox defenders and one couldn’t help but think that Dustin Pedroia might have had a chance. Eduardo Nunez? Not so much.

Shank conveniently forgets / omits that the infield was pulled in because Torres was at third base. No one was getting that ball. He's just being dishonest in order to criticize the Sox infield / be an asshole.

Far be it from me to critique any personnel moves by the Sox, but Pearce has effectively replaced Hanley Ramirez in the Sox offense, right?

He's going to harp on that one for the rest of the season, isn't he?

And to top it all of, we have, ladies and gentleman, a Larry Bird sighting!

The roof fell in on Rodriguez in the fourth when Andujar and Greg Bird (wearing No. 33, which is not an homage to Larry)

No need to read further, folks...

Rare As A Diamond

Here's something you won't see again for a while - Shank writing a positive story on the Boston Bruins!

TORONTO — You’ve got to love the Li’l Ball O’ Hate.

Playing without star linemate Patrice Bergeron (late scratch, upper-body injury), Brad Marchand broke a 1-1 tie with a goal late in the second period and paced the Bruins to a 3-1 Game 4 victory at Air Canada Centre Thursday night. The Bruins lead the series, 3-1, and will have a chance to close it out Saturday night at the New Garden.

Boston’s diminutive Puck Provocateur invariably stands tall in the big moments. On a night when the Bruins didn’t have much jump, Marchand put them ahead and made everybody forget that they got outplayed in the first period.

The standard game recap & player quotes follows this section. In that sense, you have seen this before, many times!

Bonus - Larry Bird Watch!

In a weird way, Marchand reminds me a little of Larry Bird. Larry Legend was a foot taller and far more dominant, but both are vintage trash-talkers who save their best stuff for in-game interactions. Like Marchand, Larry didn’t do a ton of talking off the court, but he was in the ear of his opponents on a nightly basis.

What's a hockey column without a comparison to a basketball legend? It just wouldn't be the same...

No Heavy Lifting Required

A week in the city hosting the Super Bowl can make it difficult to come up with interesting themes to write about. We have already witnessed Shank overusing the Tomato Can insult a few times this week (like that's a shocker) and now he trots out the overused 'Mount Rushmore of Boston sports' theme one more time, just to make sure that horse is dead, dead, dead!

MINNEAPOLIS — The statues have spoken. The best of our best Boston athletes have voted. And a couple of them are willing to cede the gold medal platform of Boston sports to Tom Brady.

“Tommy will go down as the greatest athlete in Boston history,’’ Bobby Orr said this week. “There is no argument.’’

There is always an argument when it comes to rating sports stars, of course. In addition to Orr, we reached out to Larry Bird, Carl Yastrzemski, and Bob Cousy. Larry and Cooz allowed that Brady might be the top dog while Yaz joined Orr in conceding that Brady is The One.

There's one very curious omission here, isn't there?

Here in the Hub of the Universe, we think we’ve witnessed the best player ever in each of America’s four major sports. Boston’s Jock Rushmore — usually identified as Orr in hockey, Brady in football, Bill Russell in basketball, and Ted Williams in baseball — easily beats that of any other city in America.

Provincial Shank - where have you been?

Williams died in 2002, and the ever-reclusive Russell, now 83, was unavailable for comment (proof of John Updike’s reminder that gods do not answer letters). But Orr, Bird, Yastrzemski, and Cousy, all cast in bronze, were open to the suggestion that Brady might be the best of Boston’s best.

“Boston’s had a lot of great ones,’’ said Yaz, MVP of the American League in 1967. “Larry, Ted, Russell, Bobby Orr, don’t forget Big Papi.

I'm sure Shank wants no part of Big Papi.

In case you're wondering, heeeere's Larry!

Bird, who was MVP of the NBA three times from 1984-86, submitted, “I have played with and against some of the greatest clutch players in sports, and Tom is right up there with them.”

Go read the rest of it if you're interested in this sort of thing, but Shank does this column enough times during a year that just removes the interest in it for me, and probably a good number of other readers as well.

Wide Right

What better way to write about the upcoming Super Bowl than to devote an entire column to Terry Francona?

Terry Francona knows Philadelphia sports fans. He managed the Phillies for four seasons and remembers when local enthusiasts slashed his car tires on Fan Appreciation Day at Veterans Stadium. He remembers a tender moment a few years later, after he was fired, when he hanging out before an Eagles game, helping a photographer pal who was taking photos of the Eagles and 49ers.

Bonus - Larry Bird sighting!