Patriots looked scared to me. You?
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 24, 2016
We all still laughing at Manning??
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 24, 2016
Pats are looking good thus far, no?
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 24, 2016
No double score today. Dammit!
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 24, 2016
Pats have won 28 of last 37 coin flips. A statistical improbabillty. See how this goes today. If Pats will, they will defer. If Pats lose?
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 24, 2016
Then, amid the hubbub about the Boston Globe’s delivery problems, I was struck by the Globe’s statement that they have only 115,000 daily print subscribers, and only 205,000 on Sunday. Really? I had had a sense that the Globe was still much bigger than that. So I poked around online, and, indeed found much larger numbers for Globe print circulation.Average annual decline in daily circulation for the Globe = 7.44%, which does not include 6,400 undelivered Globes from a few weeks ago.
But they were from 2013, which is the last time print newspaper circulation figures were widely reported.
The simple chart below lays out the numbers for “total average print circulation” of the nation’s 25 largest newspapers as of March 2013. These are the basis for the figures you get if you Google search the issue or look for a list on Wikipedia. Then the chart compares these with the number of copies most recently reported to the Alliance for Audited Media (in September 2015) for “individually paid print circulation,” that is the number of copies being bought by subscription or at newsstands. This is the best indication of consumer demand for the product. In both cases, the figures are for weekday average circulation. Sunday numbers are generally higher.
Peyton Manning getting no respect around hereIt should then be no surprise to anyone what he
On with @ZoandBertrand today from 11-1. I am told Beetle's been crushing me for claiming there is no local respect for Peyton.
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 20, 2016Dan Shaughnessy of The Boston Globe joined Zo and Bertrand and discussed his view that Peyton Manning is not receiving the respect he deserves at this point in his career.If the primary reason for Shank going on their radio show is to rehash a column he wrote a day or two before his appearance, why does CBS Boston bother with this exercise in redundancy?
Peyton Manning’s résumé says he should be getting a little more respect around here as we prepare for the AFC Championship Joust and the 17th playing of the 18-12 Overture.Or maybe he's just being contrarian!
He gets none.
Manning should be Jeter.
Instead, he is A-Rod.
Patriot fans have already moved past Manning and the Denver Broncos (is that what the callers were saying on 98.5 the past few days? - ed.). It’s all about plane reservations to San Francisco (remember little Tommy Brady cheering for Joe Montana back in the day?) and what do you think of the Patriots’ chances against the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50? Even the wiseguys in Vegas have established the road-tripping Patriots as favorites. All the smart money is on New England.
The Patriots themselves aren’t silly enough to do this. Folks in Foxborough know they still have to Do Their Job, and that is what the Patriots are preparing to do.Right here, douchebag! Naturally, Shank needs to resort to hyperbole or oversell his argument to make this contrarian point.
But has any superstar ever generated less fear and respect than Manning in New England in 2016 as the Patriots and Broncos prepare for a conference championship?
Have you found a single Patriot fan who is worried about this game? Just one?
Now all the confidence and mockery of the opposition is back. No one seems to be the least bit concerned that Brady has never won a playoff game in Denver (0-2), or that he is 2-6 lifetime in the Mile High City.Well, that didn't last long - Shank then goes and contradicts the premise of the column and piles on Peyton. And what Shank article is complete without a bunch of non-football references?
So now this once-great Bill Russell-Wilt Chamberlain duel is viewed here in New England as an homage to Brady as Greatest Of All Time (GOAT), while Manning is pitied and mocked as if he’s Brian Hoyer or Brandon Weeden.Throw in Brady's 11-5 record head to head against Peyton, and there are your counterarguments.
Poor Peyton. Nine touchdown passes, 17 interceptions this season. Smart guys are calling for Denver coach Gary Kubiak to go with Brock Osweiler. Manning can’t break a pane of glass with his jelly arm. We clock the hang time of his passes. He’s throwing better knucklers than R.A. Dickey.
Manning is a 39-year-old Tiger Woods, stripped of dignity and health, unable to make the cut. He is Pedro Martinez, struggling to make his final start with the Phillies in the 2009 World Series. He is a damaged Muhammad Ali enduring a beating from Larry Holmes in Vegas in 1980. He is 41-year-old Bob Cousy making a seven-game comeback with the Cincinnati Royals in 1969.
The Sons of Archie were not raised to be game managers. They grew up as gunslingers.
Despite those somewhat respectable numbers, Manning is universally mocked in New England. Maybe it’s his propensity for choking in the postseason. Maybe it’s the sing-song insurance ads. Maybe it’s the way the HGH story rolled off his back while Deflategate stuck to Brady like a freshwater leech.I wonder how that perception ever came to be?
FOXBOROUGH — After 12 months of ideal gas law, the Wells Report in context, “more likely than not,” warm drinks, and trash cans, the Patriots are right back where they always seem to be at the end of January: They will play in the AFC Championship game for the fifth consecutive winter. A Patriot season that started with Scott Zolak screaming into the headsets of Mike Tomlin and Ben Roethlisberger looks like it might extend all the way to Super Bowl 50 in Santa Clara, Calif., on Feb. 7.The standard game recap follows - skip it if you watched the game, because there's nothing new or insightful there.
The Pats punched their ticket to another conference title game with a not-as-close-as-it-looks 27-20 victory over the Kansas City Chiefs at Gillette Stadium on Saturday night. New England will play next Sunday at 3:05 p.m., either at Denver or in Foxborough vs. Pittsburgh, pending the outcome of Sunday’s divisional-round joust between the Broncos and Steelers.
The New England Patriots, once the joke of the NFL, are now the gold standard of excellence; the best franchise in America’s most popular sport.He writes this as though it's a recent event. This is simply further evidence that whenever Shank heaps praise on the Patriots, he's not sincere about it.
Patriot Fans: All together now . . . "Ich Bein Ein Steeler Fan"
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 17, 2016Chiefs call tails. Coin comes up tails.
Chiefs deferred.
So they DO have a chance
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 16, 2016As we wait just remember that the Pats have won 28 of the last 36 coin flips. Alex Speier tells me this is a statistical unliklihood.
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 16, 2016@Dan_Shaughnessy you are a totally unique, profound and original tweeter.
— Al Pica (@Poundstone12) January 16, 2016NEWTON — The regular carriers were long gone, and all the newspapers should have been gone with them.At least you have some fine
So it was in great frustration that John W. Henry, The Boston Globe’s owner and publisher, stood alone at a crude table in an austere distribution warehouse last Sunday browsing printouts of unstaffed delivery routes laid neatly upon each other like cards in a solitaire game.
“It’s 6,400 papers,” he said, grimly, to no one in particular.
Nearly every one of those copies of his flagship product, the Boston Sunday Globe, would remain undelivered that day. More than 6,000 subscribers would again open their doors to no morning paper, fully two weeks into a bizarre crisis in which the Globe’s switch to a new distribution partner, ACI Media Group, led to a delivery service meltdown.
This will look different in a few hours pic.twitter.com/jAEiBAhnFq
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 16, 2016Sixteen years. That’s how long we’ve been watching these Bill Belichick press conferences.Does he fart between grunts? What's he sniffing and snorting, and can I get some of it? That's what I want to know!
Most of them are the same. Bill grunts. Sniffs. Snorts. He occasionally teaches some football.
...I knew it - Belichick is part of the Borg collective - resistance is futile!
I can remember a couple of times when he went off script and appeared genuine, true . . . almost human.
Once was back in July of 2013 when he came out to talk (one time only) about Aaron Hernandez’s arrest on a murder change. Another beauty was last winter’s Mona Lisa Vito presser when Belichick vigorously defended his team and taught us about ideal gas law.I've always been amused at this verbiage. 'Lashed out' = reporter speak for 'I don't like how he's forcefully responding to our bullshit!'.
Last but not least, who could forget late last summer when the Hoodie reached his Deflategate limit and famously lashed out at charges of “warm drinks and trash cans’’?
Patriots fans absolutely love this. Ours must be the only football region where fans hungry for information are the same folks who applaud madly when that information is denied.There seems to be quite a bit of information about the Chandler Jones incident and even unique theories about Belichick's black eye if you bother to look for it. Shank's just pissed that it's not him or his fellow Boston Globies in control of this information, which has been a theme we've been blogging about for what seems like eons now.
Go figure. The people who comb the Internet and listen to sports radio 24/7 are the same folks who just love to see Bill deliver the middle finger to a roomful of reporters. The Patriot Way. Do Your Job. Defend The Wall.That's one reason I love blogging. And Shank drops a Col. Jessup reference? He's almost in the 21st century, folks!
Last Sunday, one of the Patriots’ best players, Chandler Jones, walked into the Foxborough Police Station, shirtless, in a confused state after reportedly ingesting synthetic marijuana and who knows what else? (Outstanding slander there, Shank! - ed.) We’ll never know, thanks in some part to a local police department that lied to the Boston Herald, then modified the police log. This is the same local police department paid by the Patriots to police things on game days.Did you ever answer questions about your son assaulting a cop while he was shitfaced, Shank? Just asking!
It’s amazing. Just 2½ years after one of the Patriots goes on a murder spree — while he is a member of the team — we still have a Patriot-friendly police department ready to lie to the media and broom the docket to protect the team. What happened to all the vigilance promised after the Patriots were “duped” by Hernandez? Remember the official team flop house?
Meanwhile, don’t bother to ask the coach about his black eye. It’s far more important that we get back to Kansas City’s defensive coordinator and the alignment of the Chiefs’ front seven.
If the Patriots thrash the Chiefs Saturday, no one will be talking about Chandler Jones and “no shirt, no shoes, no problem” at the Foxborough police department. If they lose, the Jones incident will be framed as evidence that the Patriots were losing their way.And we already know who will be spearheading that effort, don't we?
In my book Undocumented, I included a section on newspaper delivery. I criticized the way workers were classified as independent contractors, meaning that they could receive less than minimum wage and be excluded from workers’ compensation and unemployment benefits. I pointed out that they work 365 days a year, starting between one and four in the morning, could not miss a day of work unless they arranged for their own replacement, and had to drive hundreds of miles a week, paying for their own gas and car maintenance. Finally, I noticed that regardless of the severity of a snow emergency or whether the streets had even been plowed, workers were required to show up for their routes. “It’s a job,” I wrote, “made for an undocumented immigrant.” Indeed, in the Boston area and elsewhere in the United States, immigrants make up a large portion of the newspaper delivery labor force.Over the years the Boston Globe has piously lectured us about the importance of unions and the fair treatment of employees, only to have us witness the exact opposite treatment when it concerns their own employees. They deserve every word of criticism they're getting for this debacle, and I'm loving every damn millisecond of it.
I never imagined that a few years later I would be sitting in a room with a half dozen newspaper delivery workers who were demanding a return to the conditions I had described—because the new Boston Globe delivery company, ACI Media Group of Long Beach California, had significantly worsened their working situation. In Lynn, Massachusetts, workers found significant labor and community support for their demands as members of the Lynn Worker Center, the North Shore Labor Council, the New Lynn Coalition, IUE-CWA Local 201, the Lynn City Council and the Lynn School Committee vowed to support their struggle.
NEW YORK -- Al Jazeera America will shut down its operations in the United States by the end of April, the company told employees in a meeting on Wednesday.
Al Jazeera America President Kate O’Brian tearfully relayed the news to stunned colleagues, alongside CEO Al Anstey. In a memo to staff, Anstey said the decision was driven by the “fact that our business model is simply not sustainable in an increasingly digital world, and because of the current global financial challenges.”
On @ZoandBertrand now until noon. Zo is pumped and jacked like Pete Carroll. Bert Breer filling in for Beetle
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 12, 2016It feels different this year. The Patriots have dutifully signed up for the playoffs with their usual first-round bye and second-round home game (thank you, Buffalo, Miami, and New York), but this year it feels that in order to go to the Super Bowl, they are actually going to have to (gulp) . . . earn it. Imagine.For the New England Patriots, nothing has changed in this one day time span, but he has the gall to write this column as though something did change. Anyone who has read this wildly inconsistent and illogical sportswriter for any length of time knows precisely why Shank's now pulling his punches - it is an effort, however insincere and lacking in consistency with previous columns, to appear even handed and semi-thoughtful and not the lazy and repetitive slouch he is.
This year, the Tomato Cans have not toppled in the correct order. Everything has not gone New England’s way. A berth in Super Bowl 50 is going to have to be won by beating another good team in the playoffs. This time, it won’t be enough to stand back and watch the other guys set themselves on fire.
Pats prepare for playoffs pic.twitter.com/rFVIxkYfXD
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 10, 2016Way to be lazy https://t.co/4VRjMF645f
— Scott Zolak(@scottzolak) January 10, 2016Worried that Pete might call a slant pass after Vikings missed game winning FG
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 10, 2016Houston.
Texans.
Tomato.
Cans.
It never changes.
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 9, 2016It just wouldn't be the Globe without a sports writer looking down his nose at the fanbase on an almost daily basis. https://t.co/yHdFFjHnHg
— Andy from WEEI (@AndyWEEI) January 9, 2016Always enjoy @DaleEArnold shitting on @Dan_Shaughnessy.
— Kirk Minihane (@kirkmin) January 8, 2016The world is a better place when Kirk Minihane is writing. https://t.co/VcQkubbo7t
— Kirk Minihane (@kirkmin) January 7, 2016Picked-up pieces while wondering whether this is the year Cincinnati Bengals coach Marvin Lewis (0-6) finally wins a playoff game.That would be no...
■ Lots of boo-hoo “why did they pick on Tom Brady and let Peyton Manning off the hook?” programming on the numerous 24-7 Patriot propaganda radio shows this week.When a reporter (among many others) shows one standard for a quarterback accused of deflating footballs (hang 'em high!) and then readily admits bias in dismissing the more serious charges of HGH use by another quarterback, it's not 'boo-hooing'. It's calling into question a serious charge of media bias, a concept Shank should be quite familiar with.
■ I’m taking the Bengals, Chiefs, Seahawks, and Packers this weekend. But I’m the same guy who thought the Patriots would actually try, and therefore demolish, the Dolphins last weekend.So take the Steelers, Texans, Vikings and the Redskins, everybody!
■ LeBron James just turned 31 (Dec. 30, same birthday as Sandy Koufax and Tiger Woods) and has already played more career minutes than Larry Bird or Magic Johnson.
■ Nomar Garciaparra got eight Hall of Fame votes out of 440. He’s officially off the ballot. Think of what could have been. This man hit .372 and .357 as a righthanded batter in the American League. One year, he knocked in 98 runs batting leadoff. He was on his way to Cooperstown."Hey, Nomar - remember when we were best buddies? Good times, man!
■ When Kevin Garnett came through town with the T-Wolves last month, there was a lot of buzz about KG getting his Celtics number (5) retired. Danny Ainge is among those who thinks this is a good idea.KG was instrumental in the Celtics winning that championship - retire his number.
We all know Garnett is the one who changed everything in 2007-08 when the Celtics won their 17th championship. Still, I’m a tad reluctant on this one. Garnett played only six seasons here.
The best case for KG is Dennis Johnson, who played only seven seasons in Boston but got his number retired with no debate. DJ won two championships with the Green but certainly never had the impact Garnett did.
■ Ranting about coverage of sex parties at his basketball players’ dormitory, Louisville coach Rick Pitino acknowledged, “Did one person do some scurrilous things? I believe so . . . For the life of me, I can’t figure it out. He knew better and was taught better by his parents and me.’’ Pitino is on slippery ground on this one. He’s the same guy who admitted to police that he had sex with a woman (who later tried to extort him) in a Louisville restaurant in 2003.In case you were wondering, Shank still hates numbers:
■ Just when you think the Cleveland Browns can’t be any dumber, they hire a baseball analytics guy to rescue the franchise. Paul DePodesta is the Harvard guy portrayed by Jonah Hill in “Moneyball.’’ Clevelanders are hoping his skill set translates to football. What are the football equivalents of WAR, OPS, UZR, and high-leverage innings?One of the few times Shank gets to hype his alma mater:
■ Former Holy Cross basketball star Bob Kissane, who played in Europe many years ago, suggests the NBA consider a rule that would allow the fouled team to take the ball and restart the shot clock instead of automatically going to the free throw line.Lame bands from fifty years ago? We got you covered!
■ Rock and Roll Hall of Famer Brian Wilson (his cousin Mike Love is Kevin Love’s uncle) had his own version of Alex Guerrero back in the day. The fellow’s name was Dr. Gene Landy. Look him up sometime.And what column is truly complete without a little more Boston Globe bashing?
■ The one and only good thing to come out of the Globe’s home-delivery nightmare is the reinforcement that a lot of you folks still care about your printed hometown newspaper and still consider it part of your daily routine. Thank you. We will do better.Dwindling circulation numbers and ad revenue coupled with increased prices and reduced content - it's a bargain!
On with @ZoandBertrand now until noon. Lots of BB Hall of Fame talk. I love the BBWAA.
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 7, 2016Today in 1971, former heavyweight champ Sonny Liston is found dead. An intimidating man, in OR out of the ring. pic.twitter.com/oX2Pv5KPOX
— Super 70s Sports (@Super70sSports) January 5, 2016Reminded by Alex Speier, today is the 96th anniversary of Frazee selling Ruth to the Yankees. "Theyare taking quite a gamble,'' he warned.
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 5, 2016Can you now apologize for decades of shitty columns? https://t.co/R83Nsj2Sv4
— Kirk Minihane (@kirkmin) January 4, 2016Sorry to have used word "heroic" describing Globe staffers efforts on home delivery. Sloppy/inappropriate used of that word. My bad.
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 3, 2016
Worst moves in John Henry's Boston tenure: 1. Carl Crawford. 2. Bobby Valentine. 3. Hiriing ACI Media Group to deliver Globe.
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 4, 2016The Patriots are going to crush the Miami Dolphins Sunday.
It feels as if the Patriots did not try to win their final game.
The high chairs are back! Or maybe Bob and Jon brought phone books for boost.
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 3, 2016So . . . the Patriots really don't care about home field vs. Denver in potential AFC championship?
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 3, 2016Pats win coin toss. AGAIN. That's 28 of 36. Wow.
Defer. No confusion this time.
How do they do it?????????
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 3, 2016If you're a subscriber to the Boston Globe, the person who delivered your Sunday paper might have been the same person who wrote part of it.With a bonus picture of what a douche hipster Globie looks like:
Fed up after nearly a week of widespread delivery problems, dozens of reporters and editors at the Globe worked until dawn Sunday morning to deliver thousands of copies of the paper.
The Globe said it was a "small gesture to show our Globe customers that we are working hard" to address the problems.
Managing editors, political columnists, sports reporters, and web producers all showed up at the printing press around midnight.
Steve Wilmsen, an editor, tweeted that "pretty much the whole Boston Globe newsroom" was present: "Paper routes for a night."
Crime reporter Evan Allen posted a picture of metro reporter Milton Valencia pointing at his front page story.
"Now he is going to deliver it," Allen said.
@MiltonValencia wrote this front page centerpiece and now he is going to deliver it @BostonGlobe pic.twitter.com/yj0fNXSN1o
— Evan Allen (@EvanMAllen) January 3, 2016The Patriots are going to crush the Miami Dolphins Sunday.Just like last week, Shank?
Last weekend’s stunning loss to the Jets...What was so 'stunning' about that loss? A 9-5 team with a top 5 defense was hosting a 12-2 team that's been riddled with injuries on both sides of the ball. It's 'stunning' to Shank in that 'fake praise' sort of way.
And now . . . as if the Patriots needed any extra incentive, the Dolphins have reintroduced the scarlet letter.
“C.”
As in “Cheatin’.”
It has been amusing to follow the Patriots across football America this season. Photos of deflated footballs and headlines about nefarious activities have trailed them from Buffalo to Denver. We have seen the 16-game schedule stretch into a new calendar year, and just when you thought it was safe to go back in the bathtub waters of Biscayne Bay . . . the Dolphins took us right back to warm drinks and trash cans.
Warm drinks and trash cans. In case you forgot, that was the dismissive phrase that rolled off the tongue of Bill Belichick the one time he was inspired to defend his team and its legacy. Belichick’s boiling point came on the heels of Deflategate, Pittsburgh coach Mike Tomlin suggesting that folks were messing with his headset in the season opener at Gillette Stadium, and then two (piling on) cheating stories compiled by ESPN and Sports Illustrated.
The Patriots have lost three of five. Unlike typical Belichick teams, they are not playing their best at the end of the season. They have a lot of injured players.How'd that prediction work out last week, asshole?
@Dan_Shaughnessy Are the Kraftsletting the Jacobs use the high chairs at Gillette today?
— Tom Slowe(@TMSlowe) January 1, 2016Claude Julien is in the room thinking about how to defer the puck drop. #fireclaude
— Fluto Shinzawa (@GlobeFluto) January 1, 2016On @ZoandBertrand now until noon. Hardy and Keefe filling in today. We are playing some awful music and readying to talk about coin tosses
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 29, 2015The latest case comes from a NBA scout who anonymously commented on several of Kentucky’s basketball players to Sportsnet New York’s Adam Zagoria in the wake of the Wildcats’ 75-73 win over Louisville Saturday, praising point guard Tyler Ulis, offering mixed comments on shooting guard Jamal Murray and calling big man Skal Labissiere a “fraud,” “a ‘Paper Tiger,'” and “a mock draft myth.”One word here certainly sticks out, doesn't it?
It amuses me that the football world is talking about coin flips, deferrals, arrogance, hubris, amazing luck, insulting the opposition, and the Patriots’ chances to win Super Bowl 50 in Santa Clara Feb. 7.
Welcome to my world. I’ve been writing about this stuff for years. Finally, everyone is paying attention.
The exchange that could help send the Jets to the playoffs... pic.twitter.com/5ErbnKUyfE
— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) December 27, 2015Clearly Pats want Steelers out of the playoffs. This was all planned. Like Cassell throwing pass to Cheerleaders so they woud get Jags
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 27, 2015Pats being thoroughly dominated. Yet their victory feels inevitable
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 27, 2015You just know the Jets are going to give the Patriots this game
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 27, 2015Don't panic. Pats know exactly what they are doing. They worked on this on Friday
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 27, 2015Jets lose toss. Get ball. Punt.
Pats double score now in place.
Nothing ever changes.
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 27, 2015@Dan_Shaughnessy "nothingever changes".... Like your takes
— Tom McNaughton (@tmcnaughton33) December 27, 2015Seriously, this astounding Patriot coin toss success needs Ted Wells.
I thought the Jets had a chance.
Not now.
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 27, 2015Tomato Can Update:
Name top team Pats beat.
Pittsburgh? Jets?
Only Pats can get # 1 seed without beating anyone.
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 27, 2015The Worst American Sportswriting Of 2015There's always next year!
As we’ve noted before, sportswriting tends to follow what you might call the Anna Karenina Principle. The good stuff—the stuff that makes year-end lists like Longreads’s and Richard Deitsch’s—is all, on a certain level, the same, similarly structured long profile after similarly structured long profile, all in one way or another tracing the actual workings that animate the world of superficial appearances. The worst is ... not. Every truly bad article and every truly bad post is a unique, delicate flower, blossoming in this harsh world despite its lack of redeeming qualities. So please, read on and bask in the unrepeatable, indescribable, mind-numbing awfulness of 2015’s worst sportswriting.
Newsflash: Karl Anthony Towns is a franchise player. Would happily lose every game to get a player like that.
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 22, 2015Wonder if Odell can get Berman to overturn suspension?
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 22, 2015Remember the Titans
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 20, 2015@Dan_Shaughnessy Please drop dead
— TrollSkipBayless(@TrollSkipBayles) December 20, 2015You kidding? I'm impressed. That movie came out this century. https://t.co/fRhxNeQnz4
— Kirk Minihane (@kirkmin) December 20, 2015Pats win more than 75 percent of coin tosses. Statistical impossibility
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 20, 2015Willl be hanging out with Globe Santa Sunday at Copley Mall (waterfall site) from 11-12:30.
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 19, 2015
Bumped into Ted Johnson in Houston press box. He said, "I'm on the radio in Houston now. We are 'The Felger and Mazz' of Houston.''
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 14, 2015In the four months I’ve been on the job as president of the system, I haven’t got one complaint about this from the Amherst campus,’’ said Meehan. “The Amherst campus, the faculty, the dean, the students, they’re not shy. Calipari is very involved with UMass. He’s raised significant money for UMass. He’s contributed to UMass. And we’re a university that needs to get more people to come back and do that.This is why the joke in j-school is that "dumb sportswriter" is redundant: The CHB has his skirt all tied up in knots over something that no one cared about 20 years ago and is even less (if possible) newsworthy today. It's just sports! It's a kid's game!
And here's The CHB today, following last night's decisive Patriots victory:[T]he Patriots are a team on the way down. They have lost two in a row. The Texans, meanwhile, are 6-6, hungry, and serious. Patriot Nation is a little nervous about this one. Me, too. There will be no taunting from this space. The wounded, reeling Patriots are on the road against a legit team and fear losing a third consecutive game for the first time in 13 years.
In just two days, Shank's flip-flopping goes from unintentional constipation brought on by some serious ass-clenching to his typical a-hole boasting about Patriot/Super Bowl inevitability.Put your hand to your ear and listen: That clinking and clattering is the sound of Tomato Cans falling down on the Patriots’ path to Super Bowl 50 in Santa Clara, Calif.
With 8:56 left in the third, Houston has five first downs..
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 14, 2015JJ Watt starting to remind me of a talented version of Jonny Gomes
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 14, 2015Pats haven't played a down today and elevated to Top Seed as Cans fall down in front of them.
Oh, and they won the toss. Deferred. Game ova
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 14, 2015A @45PedroMartinez profile by Spink winner @Dan_Shaughnessy can be found in our '15 Yearbook https://t.co/IiWHJO63hF pic.twitter.com/DAaEoHmVLU
— Baseball Hall (@BaseballHall) December 10, 2015HOUSTON — We’ve had a lot of fun laughing at the Houston Texans in recent years."Hey - remember that time I wrote a column designed to antagonize an entire city? Good times, good times!"
Remember how this went down three years ago? The Texans were 11-1 and came to Foxborough wearing their letterman jackets for “Monday Night Football.” Houston wideout Andre Johnson said it was going to be the biggest game in franchise history. We openly mocked the Texans for their stupid hype of a regular-season game. The Patriots, in turn, mocked them on the field, running to a 21-0 lead in the first 19 minutes. It was 35-7 in the first minute of the fourth quarter. The final was 42-14. It was embarrassing for the Houston frauds.
Five weeks later, the Texans came back for a playoff game and it was the same drill. I wrote that this matchup represented the first time in league history that a team had back-to-back bye weeks to start the playoffs. Arian Foster was so offended he made the Globe column his Twitter avatar. The Texans insisted they deserved respect. We gave them none. The Patriots routed them again, 41-28.
How were we supposed to take the Texans seriously when they had Matt Schaub at quarterback, Fraidy Cat Gary Kubiak as head coach, and bumbling Wade Phillips as defensive coordinator?
Sure enough, a year later the Texans lost 14 consecutive games and everybody got fired.
Things feel different now as the Patriots prepare to play at NRG Stadium on Sunday night. Going into this meeting, the Patriots are a team on the way down. They have lost two in a row. The Texans, meanwhile, are 6-6, hungry, and serious. Patriot Nation is a little nervous about this one. Me, too. There will be no taunting from this space. The wounded, reeling Patriots are on the road against a legit team and fear losing a third consecutive game for the first time in 13 years.Somehow, this blogger anticipates a) the Patriots winning the coin toss and b) Shank making a stupid tweet or two about it and the game already being over. Same crap, different week!
Members of the Baseball Writers’ Association of America recognized Shaughnessy for meritorious contributions to baseball writing during his career.Meritorious contributions indeed! I'll let my co-blogger identify a few of Shank's meritorious contributions:
Would that be "tweaking" like when he called David Ortiz a sad sack of you-know-what? Was it tweaking when he called Carl Everett "the Ebola virus of the Boston clubhouse?" Or when he wrote “We have rejoiced in the retirement of Keith Foulke?” Would that be "exposing" when he wrote, "Why does America hate Barry Bonds so much? Is it because he's too good?" all while neglecting to mention Bonds' PED use for another five years. Was that exposing when he accused Manny Ramirez, the previous season's World Series MVP, of quitting on the team during a month where he put up a .930 OPS and 6 HRs in 24 games?Let's not forget Shank's most meritorious contribution to baseball writing, the infamous 'Dirty Laundry' column, in which Shank acted as Larry Lucchino's mouthpiece (or Charles Steinberg's, take your pick) in order to trash then Red Sox GM Theo Epstein. This also explains why Shank has been persona non grata at Yawkey Way for the past decade.
Yeah. Much has changed since 2002 when I began doing this, but a world in which Dan Shaughnessy is honored by a sports hall of fame is not one which has any sort of grip on what people are interested in. When was the last time Shaughnessy actually wrote a baseball column that was of value? How does that translate to hall of fame worthiness?
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But it seems now, almost constantly on the air, and more and more in print, that the focus is on making fans miserable. Whether it be mocking them as “fanboys,” attempting to diminish accomplishments, dreaming up doomsday scenarios for local teams, telling us how arrogant the greatest coach in NFL history is, or just the constant trolling, it is enough to make someone wonder just why they subject themselves to this.
It certainly has made me wonder. Why have something so toxic like that as part of your life? It’s not healthy. Toxic things come with a warning. They should be avoided. More and more, I’m avoiding toxic sports media altogether.
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Dan Shaughnessy has recycled columns and taken the same cheap shots for 25 years, made a cottage industry out of a hokey “curse”and it now rewarded for it by the Baseball Hall of Fame?
Hate Shaughnessy so I'm biased, but he's a Hall of Famer? Trolling and the same three shitty columns over 25 years gets you to Cooperstown?
— Kirk Minihane (@kirkmin) December 8, 2015The Patriots were cuffed around by the Giants and Bills and needed miracles to come up with two victories to get to 10-0. This is not a workable formula for success. Ordinarily, winning football games comes down to talent and execution, not the time-tested Patriot way of waiting for the other guy to fall down.Barely acknowledging the rash of Patriot injuries, it is truly incredible that any 'professional' sports writer can pen such drivel about a team who a) are arguably the best team in football, b) just happens to be the defending Super Bowl champions and 3) who have won 25 of their previous 33 games and assert that this team is bereft of talent and cannot execute plays. Coach Belichick has been preaching 'Do Your Job' for years and we're supposed to take the word of a Boston Globe sports columnist that they're not doing this?
If they want to advance to the Super Bowl, the wounded Patriots can’t simply rely on the brilliance of Bill Belichick, the clutch play of Brady, and the abject mediocrity of the AFC. You actually have to be a good team.
Not to go all Trent Dilfer on you, but how good are the Patriots right now? They have no running game and no deep threats. Their offensive line has been awful. The defense looked strong in midseason, but lately they can’t stop the run (certainly not without Dont’a Hightower) and they have little pass rush.Funny how these things were never mentioned by Shank until they lost two games, isn't it?
Despite injured hand, Larry Bird won $160 off Dan Shaughnessy in shooting contestAnd then the cheap SOB had the nerve to try and expense it with the Globe:
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Larry was MVP in ’84, ’85, and ’86, and the height of his powers was ’85. He was on the cover of Time magazine and it was a big deal. That’s when he had the 60-point game in New Orleans against the Atlanta Hawks. So, we found out later he’d gotten in a barroom fight in downtown Boston, down by Faneuil Hall. It was a bar, I think it was called Chelsea’s. Larry had come to the defense of a teammate, or some issue, and doing the old-school Indiana thing he swung at a guy and he messed up his hand. And he was taping it at practice, and it was a very odd-looking kind of a web-taping, splitting his hand into two sets of fingers.
HIMMELSBACH: So wait, you expensed the $160 that you lost in a shooting contest?Like you really need to know more than that about a person's character.
SHAUGHNESSY: Yes, and evidently the IRS frowns on the word ‘wager’ in expense accounts, (because it's a personal expense, maybe? - ed.) because it bounced back and they said ‘You cannot put ‘wager’ in an expense account.’ So I just made it eight $20 lunches with [Celtics center] Robert Parish. We just substituted.
Bill is explaining rule to female ref here pic.twitter.com/5pKK8rZIqQ
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 6, 2015We just saw Bears and Giants lose because kickers could not make field goals Gostkowski would make.
Oh. And Pats defer. This one over.
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 6, 2015How can one team win over 70 perecent of coin flips?
Someday there will be a Quartergate probe
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 6, 2015Dion Sanders. Great athlete. All time fraud
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 4, 2015