Saturday, January 02, 2016

Speaking Of Trash Cans...

This is a Shank column that's in the running to be put into the nearest trash can. During the week where the biggest NFL story revolves around Peyton Manning, Shank can't be bothered about that subject because he's too busy making stupid, ill advised predictions:
The Patriots are going to crush the Miami Dolphins Sunday.
Just like last week, Shank?

Last weekend’s stunning loss to the Jets...
What was so 'stunning' about that loss? A 9-5 team with a top 5 defense was hosting a 12-2 team that's been riddled with injuries on both sides of the ball. It's 'stunning' to Shank in that 'fake praise' sort of way.

Shank can't be bothered about current news like Peyton Manning because he's too busy living in the past. Specifically, rehashing the Cheating Patriots theme and in a new (for Shank) twist, putting words into the mouths of the Miami Dolphins:
And now . . . as if the Patriots needed any extra incentive, the Dolphins have reintroduced the scarlet letter.


As in “Cheatin’.”

It has been amusing to follow the Patriots across football America this season. Photos of deflated footballs and headlines about nefarious activities have trailed them from Buffalo to Denver. We have seen the 16-game schedule stretch into a new calendar year, and just when you thought it was safe to go back in the bathtub waters of Biscayne Bay . . . the Dolphins took us right back to warm drinks and trash cans.

Warm drinks and trash cans. In case you forgot, that was the dismissive phrase that rolled off the tongue of Bill Belichick the one time he was inspired to defend his team and its legacy. Belichick’s boiling point came on the heels of Deflategate, Pittsburgh coach Mike Tomlin suggesting that folks were messing with his headset in the season opener at Gillette Stadium, and then two (piling on) cheating stories compiled by ESPN and Sports Illustrated.

Here is the Miami Herald story Shank is referring to.

Let's be blunt here - Shank's being real cute with this one. A 'recent accusation' of an incident by an unnamed member of the Dolphins organization that supposedly occurred two months ago is being treated without an ounce of skepticism by Shank. Why wasn't this news when it supposedly happened? He's basically using two month old 'news' to deceive his reading audience because it appeared in a recent news column. Hacktastic job there, Shank! It's hard (actually, it's not!) for me to believe my opinion of Shank as a disingenuous scumbag just got even lower.

On top of that, naturally, his prediction of a Patriots blowout is contradicted by relatively recent Patriots trips to Miami and his own observation:
The Patriots have lost three of five. Unlike typical Belichick teams, they are not playing their best at the end of the season. They have a lot of injured players.
How'd that prediction work out last week, asshole?

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