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Tuesday, October 23, 2007

What Have They Done to Dan?

Today, Dan adopts the literary device of somebody waking up from a coma, unaware of all the changes in Boston sports.

And the writer has only praise for his usual targets. Bob Kraft, who Dan unmercifully and at times incorrectly attacked for his college athletic resume while bashing him for losing Parcells, is now the "best owner...in all of football." Bill Belichick, who Dan accused of inventing every nefarious tactic employed in football, is the "best coach...in all of football."

The Red Sox are going great. Theo is a "brilliant young general manager", not a stats obsessed geek without any feel for the game. There are more bouquets for the ownership, which Dan attacked five years ago.

Dan ends with a look at the possible week ahead: Games 6 & 7 in Fenway, Kevin Garnett's home debut and the Pats v. Colts. Too bad it has already been discussed endlessly, including a mention by one of Dan's biggest fans a week and a half ago.

Lazy sportswriting alert

They have players fans want to root for - legends like David Ortiz, Manny Ramírez, and Curt Schilling, and home-grown grinders like Kevin Youkilis, Dustin Pedroia, and Jonathan Papelbon.

This is classic sportswriter speak. Short, white guys are always grinders, no matter how talented.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

While I always intensely dislike the CHB, I find my hatred reaching new heights while reading this morning's column. Once again, the CHB lacks any originality, offers no insight, and doesn't even opine (which is a columnist's job!). He just summarizes what has happened in the past 7 years in Boston sports. Guess what, Shank. Your readers have not been in a coma! We know what happened! That means your column today is worthless. I mean, your columns are always worthless, that is par for the course. But today's was so worthless I wouldn't call it "on par," but more like a double-eagle of worthlessness.

Jonathan Papelbon is a grinder now? Is Mariano Rivera a grinder? I don't know of too many lights-out closers who throw 96 with a nasty splitter who are "grinders". That term is usually reserved for guys who "play hard" but in general "basically suck." I don't think I would categorize Pedroia or Youkillis as guys who basically suck, so that makes them not "grinders" either.

I am so irritated by this column, I think I am going to go fire somebody.

Jonny Jaha said...

Sorry folks, I try to stay polite and professional whenever I post here, but I gotta let loose...this is completely unbelieveable:

It's the second one here in four years. The Sox beat the 86-year-old curse in 2004

The idiotic, moronic "curse" began during the 1920 season after the trade/sale of Ruth, not 1918. So any "curse" was only 84 years old.

You would think that the idiot that invented it would get the facts straight.

paul said...

Imagine waking up from a coma and the first thing you see is Dr. Shank's face. *shudder*

:)

Monkeesfan said...

Hopefully Shank won't do a Gregg Easterbrook when he discusses Patriots vs. Colts.