Dan is able to make it about halfway through today's column with the semblance of a point, but he runs out of steam and is reduced to tossing off empty trivia and bad jokes that he must have been storing up for ages.
"This TV special was played at Paul Brown Stadium on the one-year anniversary of the Patriots' 38-13 victory at the same site in 2006."
After every writer and radio host has mentioned the prior game during the last week Dan sees fit to remind us. He also reminds that it was the one year anniversary of the game played in 2006. Not 2005 or 1995 but 2006. Thanks for clearing that up.
Dan then engages in the same type of idolizing of Belichick ("The timing of the release signified another brilliant move by Belichick.") that Dan claims is indicative of the coach's arrogance.
He follows up with some factual errors:
"Brown is the man who invented the draw play, the facemask, and the Cleveland Browns. Belichick has invented linebackers as tight ends (Mike Vrabel caught another touchdown pass last night), videotaping opposing coaches' signals, and injury-report manipulation."
Don't let the facts get in the way of a good character assassination.
Throw in some jokes about the Bengals' troubles with the law and an unwarranted jab at an entire city ("This represents good times for Cincinnati, the only American city where "Mensa" is a four-letter word.") and you got yourself what Dan passes off as a column these days.
(If you guessed the first Red Sox reference would be in the third sentence, you win a prize.)