Tuesday, October 02, 2007

An Awful, Awful Piece

Dan is able to make it about halfway through today's column with the semblance of a point, but he runs out of steam and is reduced to tossing off empty trivia and bad jokes that he must have been storing up for ages.

"This TV special was played at Paul Brown Stadium on the one-year anniversary of the Patriots' 38-13 victory at the same site in 2006."

After every writer and radio host has mentioned the prior game during the last week Dan sees fit to remind us. He also reminds that it was the one year anniversary of the game played in 2006. Not 2005 or 1995 but 2006. Thanks for clearing that up.

Dan then engages in the same type of idolizing of Belichick ("The timing of the release signified another brilliant move by Belichick.") that Dan claims is indicative of the coach's arrogance.

He follows up with some factual errors:
"Brown is the man who invented the draw play, the facemask, and the Cleveland Browns. Belichick has invented linebackers as tight ends (Mike Vrabel caught another touchdown pass last night), videotaping opposing coaches' signals, and injury-report manipulation."

Don't let the facts get in the way of a good character assassination.

Throw in some jokes about the Bengals' troubles with the law and an unwarranted jab at an entire city ("This represents good times for Cincinnati, the only American city where "Mensa" is a four-letter word.") and you got yourself what Dan passes off as a column these days.

(If you guessed the first Red Sox reference would be in the third sentence, you win a prize.)


bandit said...

What a jerkoff - you can always tell people who are really insecure about their abilities when they have to put other people down as stupid - well maybe in Dan's case he does have to put other people down to build himself up.

Chris said...

It is undisputed fact that the reason why Randy Moss--that would be the same Randy Moss who was supposed to be a cancer to the organization, according to Carrot-Top and MacMullan--fails to address the media is because these two 'elite' media snobs are there. Together, Shaughnessy and MacMullan have ruined it for the rest of the hard-working media cabal. Good job, Carrot Juice.

Michael Wolf said...

Credit where credit's due: that Mensa line is pretty good.

objectivebruce said...

Wow, it probably isn't necessary to respond to this nonsense, but I enjoy blasting away at a barrel full of fish.

The link to the piece on Howard Mudd? Where does it mention videotaping signals? I've looked four times now and can't quite seem to find it. Maybe Mudd did use videotape, but it's not in the piece that you linked. It seems to me that if you're going to dispute Shaughnessy on the facts, you ought to provide facts in response and you didn't. Yeah, go do some googling and find some other piece that tied Mudd and videotaping. Doesn't matter. In your original posting you didn't do it.

The sanctimonious observation is self-contradictory; if you're going to set yourself up as a critic of Shaughnessy's writing, you'd damn well better not need clarification or amplification to make your (rather mundane) point.

Juli La Chuli said...

Do you think Dan could possibly be one of those people willing to pay twenty dollars to somebody else for a card to carry around in his wallet verifying his intelligence?

dbvader said...

Obtuse bruce,

Maybe you should take one of those reading comprehension classes you are always hawking.

Your post's second paragraph:
"The link to the piece on Howard Mudd? Where does it mention videotaping signals? I've looked four times now and can't quite seem to find it."

Look a fifth time.

The article's second paragraph:
"And Johnson reiterated his previous statement that he believes what the Patriots did -- violating NFL rules by videotaping the opposing coaches' signals -- is commonplace. Johnson also said he did it himself."

I am sure profuse apologies will follow.

PJ said...

Does anyone know who actually wrote Shank's column today? With the use of "men" instead of "minions," reference to his youth over and done after paragraph 1, and an almost-complimentary comparison to Belichik, I'm guessing Amalie Benjamin hijacked his computer.

No references to Springsteen, Bon Jovi, or Nixon either. Definitely the work of a ghostwriter.

Monkeesfan said...

Shank apparantly forgot to mention that Brown also invented not wanting to spend money on quality players, hence the abysmal 1991-2002 record of the Bengals before Marvin Lewis made chicken salad out of chicken feathers.

OB, you miss the point as usual. The Howard Mudd piece points out that "stealing" signals (which are broadcast to the public, BTW) is neither new nor insidious. BTW Brucie, videotaping is not cheating; I read the rule in question and it's vague enough that the NFL didn't even enforce it until Ratgini started whining. What Belichick did is not cheating, it is what coaching staffs are supposed to do, something Roger Goodell and a bunch of media types aside from as well as including His Shankness apparantly don't understand.

bandit said...

Credit where credit's due: that Mensa line is pretty good.

That's why people in the rest of the country hate people from the East Coast

Monkeesfan said...

bandit - true. "East Coasters" like Shank need comeuppance.