Eight Days After

Until Red Sox spring training rolls around, this appears to be the only thing Shank is capable of writing about:

Eagles lineman says Patriots are ‘fear-based organization’ https://t.co/QTXOcqJT4J pic.twitter.com/rJWLBvV7lR

— Boston.com Sports (@BDCSports) February 11, 2018

Does this man have a point? https://t.co/HfRY9jWHL1

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) February 11, 2018

Shank then gets taken to the woodshed:

Pats have 5 rings with this regime
I’ll let the numbers speak for themselves

— Mike Polly` (@metman84) February 11, 2018

This is why free agents never sign or re-sign with the Pats, and certainly none of them would take less money to stay with the Pats #You’reSuchAFraud

— 5Rings RogerThat(@MVPTB12) February 11, 2018

Seriously? This guy wins one Super Bow and he's the authority on the franchise who has won 5 of them? Every business is about results, not having the most fun. How much fun did Cleveland, NYG, NYJ, Colts TB, Bears, and Azhave this year?

— pauldevlin(@sportsrip) February 11, 2018

Volinsays it's better to lose in AFC championship and Shank's worried about the players having fun. Good sports section you got there @BostonGlobe

— Ryan Foley (@Foley885) February 11, 2018

@danieljlavoie is Shaughnessy for real? Is he just anti Boston sports or just a master troll

— Drew Strong (@dstrong626) February 11, 2018

Embrace the power of 'and', Drew!

The Shaughnessy Report

It looks like this blog's got some competition out there!

Bill Simmons Hits A Nerve

If I'm reading this correctly, Bill Simmons got Shank to react, albeit indirectly, to the Ron Borges kerfuffle. How DARE Simmons mention Shank's colleagues at the Boston Globe?

Everything became so much nastier starting in 1990 with the Lisa Olson debacle (and how horribly she was treated, by nearly everyone), and never improved. There have been a few exceptions over the years, but for the most part, negativity and nastiness has prevailed. It’s too bad.

— Bill Simmons (@BillSimmons) February 10, 2018

This fraud . . . Who never got off the couch or faced anyone he wrote about https://t.co/KnslddamwP

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) February 10, 2018

Some of these responses are going to leave a mark:

More people read his articles than yours, so what does that say about your profession as a whole? Adapt or die.

— Pat Mitchell (@thepmitchell) February 10, 2018

Dan Shaughnessy has written the same tired takes for years without adapting & yet here he is, still not dead yet.

— Andy Dufresne(@oldandydufresne) February 10, 2018

And the winner:

pic.twitter.com/fCwZZUylV9

— Jon (@CPJonGoSox) February 10, 2018

Ron Borges Death Watch - VI

This is more like it:

The Boston Herald has suspended columnist Ron Borges after he was catfished by a person claiming to be Tom Brady’s agent, the paper announced Friday afternoon.

Borges, a sportswriter for the Herald, reported on Thursday night that Brady would not report to OTAs if he didn't receive a raise comparable to the one the 49ers gave his former backup, Jimmy Garoppolo. The story also ran as the back page of the Herald’s Friday sports section. The report, which cited several unnamed "sources," was apparently the result of a text conversation Borges had with a man pretending to be Brady's agent, Don Yee.

I had to duck out early this morning, so I didn't have the time to double check the now obvious 'suspend the story' nonsense the Herald put out.

Ron Borges Death Watch - V

This is not a complete list, and I'm not going to include the links to their Twitter feeds (it's so much work!), but I wanted to note which sports writers, bloggers and others who have tweeted or retweeted about this and who hasn't:

Yes - Pro Football Talk, Bruce Allen, Kirk Minihane, Kevin Youkilis, Scott Zolak, Jerry Thornton, Gerry Callahan, NESN Patriots.

No - Fitzy, Shank, John Tomase, Kevin Paul DuPont.

Make of it as you will.

Ron Borges Death Watch - IV

Adam Gaffin at Universal Hub just gave me the skinny - Ron Borges has been suspended:

A column by Ron Borges in today’s Herald regarding Patriot Tom Brady’s salary discussions was based on information which proved to be false.

The Herald apologizes to Brady, his agent Don Yee and the Patriots, and to our readers for this erroneous report.

Borges’ column has been suspended pending further review.

Note what they're not saying now that they were saying earlier in the day relating to the 'other sources', or are they now implicitly confirming it was all bullshit? Seems to indicate they didn't pan out, right? How long does it really take for Borges to tell his editors who the 'other sources' are and for those editors to contact these 'other sources' and verify what they allegedly told Borges? If you ask me this could have been conducted by now, so why the delaying tactic? What can't be conducted at the same breakneck speed is Borges' severance package. Given the Herald's pending bankruptcy proceedings, the size of that severance package is about the same size of that big change jar some us keep in the old one gallon twist-off glass container of cheap Gallo wine.

UPDATE, 2/10/18, 10:35 AM - Correction - the column has been suspended, not Borges. Does that mean I just pulled a Borges?

Ron Borges Death Watch - III

Clearing the deck before the next big announcement:

Boston Herald sports editor tells PFT they're looking into Ron Borges' explosive Tom Brady column, which was apparently based on Borges getting pranked https://t.co/I2JFzZ1AL0

— ProFootballTalk(@ProFootballTalk) February 9, 2018

If you've written about football long enough, you've probably caught Ron Borges copying and pasting your work without credit. I know I have. He's a lazy and sloppy journalist. It's not surprising this happened. https://t.co/zQRXEHUcg3

— Michael David Smith (@MichaelDavSmith) February 9, 2018

Ron Borges Death Watch - II

I'm sure my co-blogger Mike will grant me this exemption from Shank bashing. I wonder what the mindset is behind people like Ron Borges who have the chutzpah to write crap like this before they get their pants pulled down in front of the entire country:

On the same day Ron Borges was writing a column based on one bogus source he didn't verify, he was lecturing people to "do your homework." pic.twitter.com/WXqNFzdTPI

— Michael David Smith (@MichaelDavSmith) February 9, 2018

Ron Borges Death Watch

So, when does he get the ax? Is he hitting the Jack Daniels bottle as we speak?

And Now For Some Ron Borges Bashing - II / La Fin

From the looks of it, we may not have Ron Borges to kick around anymore (some emphasis added):

It’s been a rough morning for Boston Herald columnist Ron Borges.

Borges believed he had a major scoop in today’s paper: A column citing unnamed “sources” close to Tom Brady saying that Brady was ready to hold out of offseason work if the Patriots didn’t give him a significant pay raise, comparable to the contract the 49ers just gave Brady’s former backup Jimmy Garoppolo. But then WEEI revealed that one of its listeners had hoaxed Borges with a text purporting to be from Brady’s agent, and that the whole premise of Borges’ column was bogus.

PFT checked with the Boston Herald‘s sports editor, Sean Leahy, who told us, “We’re looking into it.”

Meanwhile, the Boston Herald has pulled Borges’ column off its website, which strongly suggests that they’ve already concluded that “looking into it” is something that Borges failed to do when he got the text.

Borges cited “sources,” plural, in his column saying that Brady would hold out, but it appears that Borges was relying on only one source, and that one source was a prankster who fooled him. Borges has a history of poor journalistic practices, including an instance of plagiarism that precipitated his departure from the Boston Globe. We’ve caught Borges copying and pasting from PFT without credit in the past. Now he has egg on his face again.

If it was a single source, he's as good as fired or otherwise made redundant, since the Herald's bankruptcy auction happens on Tuesday, with three potential bidders so far. His previous history does not help him, and a little Globe birdy told me back when it happened - when Borges was shown the door at the Globe, 'he didn't burn that bridge - he NUKED it'.

UPDATE AT 4:15 PM - I forgot to note that Shank's Twitter feed contains no tweets or retweets as of this update. Fellow Boston sports assholes need to stick together, you know!

Dan Shaughnessy, Still An Asshole - IV

Yes, the Roman numeral above should be a lot higher.

If Pete Carroll doesn’t lose his mind and falcons don’t choke away 28-3, patriots would be looking at historic 5 game super bowl losing streak.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) February 8, 2018

We could also say "If David Tyree and Mario Manningham didn't make those two catches, Tom Brady's probably retired now with seven Super Bowl wins." That, however, would require a positive outlook on things and it's been demonstrated here time and time again this is simply not in Shank's DNA.

You bet some followers have a problem with this tweet:

Key word in there fruitcake. (If)

— Scott Zolak(@scottzolak) February 8, 2018

Is there any doubt about how Zo feels towards Shank?

Early entry for the thread winner:

If my aunt had a dick, she’d be my uncle

— Will (@WOSullivan4) February 8, 2018

You must be great fun at parties.

— Ron Blythe (@RonBlythe) February 8, 2018

You mean the one's he's not invited to?

What about Tyree catch and Manningham. Ifs and buts

— nathanrichardson(@supernautoz) February 8, 2018

...and for the win!

Wait you said tomato cans now you're changing your story Dan....dang Dan you need positivity in your life 😃👍

— Beth (@MsMediaBeth) February 8, 2018

It was just last week that Shank claimed to hate hypotheticals, and we said 'unless it suits his purposes (about five posts down - Blogger's acting funny and I'm not gonna fetch the link tight now)'. Well, here you go.

Which Means... What, Exactly?

Whatever this is supposed to mean...

Encapsulating Patriots season pic.twitter.com/uPA1SJveth

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) February 8, 2018

Well, we do know what it's supposed to mean - another cheap shot criticism of the New England Patriots. We've been over this many times this year that Shank would do this if they failed to win it all, and this simply proof positive. It sure beats the hell out of an entire column about Josh McDaniels bowing out of the Colts head coaching position.

Maybe You Should Write A Column About It?

That's one matter, but I'm actually in agreement with Shank on this one:

Total weasel move by McDaniels. This guy is your next patriot leader? Good luck. Pats media cartel hard pressed to put good spin on this one. https://t.co/EN3LEe7Trf

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) February 7, 2018

The only time I did something perhaps similar was back in 1993. I had accepted a job (verbal) at a Worcester CPA firm that was owned by two women, who by virtue of their lack of male genitalia were awarded Federal auditing contracts, as they were considered a disadvantaged minority firm. One of the requirements for staff auditors (me) was to have two years of relevant auditing experience. The four years of field audits at the Mass. DOR that I had clearly did not meet that requirement. In addition, the only stipulation I had about this job was that I would be granted the time to go to two night classes, to which they initially agreed. Two days later I was informed via e-mail that I was now the lead auditor and that I would be spending the next six weeks in West Bumfuck, PA. I e-mailed my resignation the next day. I regret doing that and wished instead that I simply didn't show up as they required.

Reaction to Shank's tweet is pretty much split - click on the above tweet to read them, if you'd like.

Shameless Shank Shaughnessy - III

Not like we're gonna get a retraction by Shank, but this looks like the reason Belichick benched Malcom Butler for the game:

Writer at PFF reports Butler missed curfew, got caught with weed, had a meltdown on the coaches. As they say, big if true. https://t.co/NrKq3sh0Nm pic.twitter.com/TO9z6bNpcK

— Feitelberg (@FeitsBarstool) February 5, 2018

Shameless Shank Shaughnessy - II

Not content to bury the New England Patriots with a single column, Shank now trains his sights on coach Bill Belichick, practically screaming I WANT ANSWERS! like Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men.

MINNEAPOLIS — How are you feeling about your coach today, Patriot fans?

Still got “Do Your Job” and “No Days Off” tattooed somewhere on your body? Still blissfully living the life of “In Bill We Trust”? Still applauding the coach for giving the media the finger every time we ask Bill Belichick a football question? Still believe his decisions are none of anybody’s business?

I sense a crack in the blind loyalty the Hoodie traditionally receives from Patriot Nation. The Patriots lost a very winnable Super Bowl Sunday night in some part because Bill benched cornerback Malcolm Butler for some undisclosed infraction or violation of the Patriot code.

The only time this guy ever seems to get off his ass to bang out multiple columns in a 24 hour time span is to showboat and exact revenge, as he tries to do here.

UPDATE AT 5:47 PM - Lovely, and I believe a first time for this sort of thing - Drudge linked to this story. Is this a sign of the apocalypse?

Shameless Shank Shaughnessy

Get a load of this fucking column. Shank was writing, facetiously or otherwise, for a fortnight that the Eagles would not present a challenge to the Patriots and with last night's loss he does a complete 180 degree turn, which should surprise nobody who's familiar with Shank's 'work'.

MINNEAPOLIS — There was no incredible Patriots comeback this time. Tom Brady and Bill Belichick had the Patriots in position to shock the world once again, but on this night there was no crucial call overturned by video review, no Tuck Rule, no goofy decision from the rival sideline, no fanboy judge or league official to flip the script in favor of the Patriots in the final seconds.

Hard as it is to believe, the Patriots lost the Super Bowl Sunday night at U.S. Bank Stadium and they lost to the better team. Philadelphia’s backup quarterback, Nick Foles, had the right stuff and second-year coach Doug Pederson outfoxed The Hoodie as the championship-starved Eagles won their first Super Bowl, a 41-33 pinball special against the mighty Patriots.

Here's Shank using the passive voice in order not to put any blame on himself:

After weeks of mocking Patriots opponents we have seen the Tomato Cans and they are . . . the members of the Patriots’ defense.

The Patriots trailed for almost the entire game. The contest featured only one punt (Philadelphia), and the teams amassed more than 1,100 yards of total offense.

If you're of the mind to read further, don't bother - it's the standard game recap and Shank doing what he loves doing - burying a local professional sports team after a big loss.

And Now For Some Super Bowl ESPN Bashing

It helps to have an editor so you don't fuck things like this up too badly:

Typical ESPN, one reporter tweets about tonight being the last game for Belichick and Brady, then Schefter goes on TV and says both will be back for 2018. #RightEitherWay #WhatAreYouActuallyReporting?

— Andy Hart (@JumboHart) February 4, 2018

UPDATE, 1:08 PM - Here's the tweet in question:

Right now on @espn NFL Countdown it’s brought to light about what many in the league have been hearing which this game could possibly be both Bill Belichick and Tom Brady’s final games. Both could be hanging it up. Post game could be incredible tonight if this becomes truth.

— Dianna Russini(@diannaESPN) February 4, 2018

ESPN - getting it wrong since DeflateGate!

No Heavy Lifting Required - II

It was only yesterday that I thought the run-up to the Super Bowl can make it difficult to come up with interesting themes to write about. It just got worse!

I'll bold the really stupid parts (which surprisingly, isn't the whole damn paragraph):

They make up the greatest quarterback/coach combination in NFL history. Five Super Bowl championships in seven appearances with another possible Sunday in Minneapolis against the Eagles. You could argue they couldn’t have done it without each other, but if you were forced to choose who is more responsible for the Patriots’ success, Tom Brady or Bill Belichick, who would you choose? We asked Globe columnists Dan Shaughnessy, Christopher L. Gasper, and Tara Sullivan to do just that. It wasn’t easy.

There's a reason for that - it's stupid, simplistic and insulting to anyone that follows sports. It's another lazy column template that Shank trots out a few times a year. It's also a hypothetical, so you're not saying anything of real value - it's closer to gossip than anything else. Did we ever hear similar arguments in the past (Chicago Bulls - Michael Jordan & Phil Jackson, etc.) or is the media just using a new and boring tactic to antagonize us again / still? You could just say something trite like 'it takes two to tango' and be done with it, not to mention your 52 other teammates that do the 'little things' like block for the quarterback, catch his passes, play defense and stuff like that.

I will give the man some credit - Shank thinks it's stupid, too:

Dan Shaughnessy

I hate the question. We shouldn’t have to choose. The fair, measured position would be to say that Bill Belichick and Tom Brady are equally responsible for the Patriots dynasty of the last 17 years. The Patriots coach is the greatest of all time. The Patriots quarterback is the greatest of all time. Call it 50/50.

But we can’t do that here in 2018. This is an era of click baits and hot takes. The barking dogs of sports radio and television serve as the soundtrack of our sporting lives. Meanwhile, a splashy story in ESPN suggested that there’s tension at the top of the Patriots pyramid because egos are clashing and there’s competition over who’ll get the lion’s share of the credit when
the history of these Gillette glory days is written.

So we are forced to choose and I choose the coach — by 1/one-millionth of a percentage point.

Well, he thinks it's stupid - until he writes his next column asking you who's better - Celtics or Bruins?

I don't even want to read the rest of it. It's another tired theme that makes me lose interest as soon as I see the headline.

One other thing - you know what's really gonna make you lose interest immediately? Tomorrow night's Super Bowl halftime show! I tried my best not to ape Shank and go all 'get off my lawn' on the guy, but I despise Justin Timberlake. This fucking no-talent boy band hack is famous for one thing, and that's his part in the 2004 'Nipplegate' Super Bowl halftime show with Janet Jackson, sporting one small breast (big whoop), and the NFL is chump enough to let him embarrass them a second time. He embodies just about everything that's wrong with today's music industry - bland, corporate, bereft of skill. The Social Network was among one of the worst movies ever made, right down there with Ishtar. And you know what's gonna make it all complete clusterfuck / world-class dumpster fire of biblical proportions? He's going on stage and doing one of his 'songs'... with a hologram of Prince, who's been dead for over a year. When you suck as bad as Timberlake, you need to pull out all the stops to ruin a sporting event as best you can. The really ironic part of this? When he was alive, it was reported that Prince cannot stand Timberlake, most likely because the latter is a no-talent hack.

This is going to be by far and away the absolute worst, shit on the bottom of your shoes halftime show in history. It's gonna suck big, hairy donkey balls in the worst way possible. If I wasn't doing my normal halftime duties (dishwashing at a friend's house), I'd be throwing knives & dishes at the TV set. I can't wait to watch this asshole's career evaporate on that stage tomorrow.

A Night On The Town

You think Shank's picking up the tab? Me neither.

Dinner at the Radisson downtown Minneapolis. #reasonable #wheresmarge? #fargo #youbetcha pic.twitter.com/DxRIZmKkZ5

— Jim McBride (@globejimmcbride) February 3, 2018

Get Yer Tinfoil Hats On!

Is there anything Bill Belichick can't do?

An illness has made its way around the Eagles' locker room, and Twitter believes Bill Belichickhas something to do with it.https://t.co/GQ5QUhyC2B pic.twitter.com/WYJfD361uC

— NESN (@NESN) February 2, 2018

You made them all sick, coach - could you at least do a shit-eating grin? Work with me here!

No Heavy Lifting Required

A week in the city hosting the Super Bowl can make it difficult to come up with interesting themes to write about. We have already witnessed Shank overusing the Tomato Can insult a few times this week (like that's a shocker) and now he trots out the overused 'Mount Rushmore of Boston sports' theme one more time, just to make sure that horse is dead, dead, dead!

MINNEAPOLIS — The statues have spoken. The best of our best Boston athletes have voted. And a couple of them are willing to cede the gold medal platform of Boston sports to Tom Brady.

“Tommy will go down as the greatest athlete in Boston history,’’ Bobby Orr said this week. “There is no argument.’’

There is always an argument when it comes to rating sports stars, of course. In addition to Orr, we reached out to Larry Bird, Carl Yastrzemski, and Bob Cousy. Larry and Cooz allowed that Brady might be the top dog while Yaz joined Orr in conceding that Brady is The One.

There's one very curious omission here, isn't there?

Here in the Hub of the Universe, we think we’ve witnessed the best player ever in each of America’s four major sports. Boston’s Jock Rushmore — usually identified as Orr in hockey, Brady in football, Bill Russell in basketball, and Ted Williams in baseball — easily beats that of any other city in America.

Provincial Shank - where have you been?

Williams died in 2002, and the ever-reclusive Russell, now 83, was unavailable for comment (proof of John Updike’s reminder that gods do not answer letters). But Orr, Bird, Yastrzemski, and Cousy, all cast in bronze, were open to the suggestion that Brady might be the best of Boston’s best.

“Boston’s had a lot of great ones,’’ said Yaz, MVP of the American League in 1967. “Larry, Ted, Russell, Bobby Orr, don’t forget Big Papi.

I'm sure Shank wants no part of Big Papi.

In case you're wondering, heeeere's Larry!

Bird, who was MVP of the NBA three times from 1984-86, submitted, “I have played with and against some of the greatest clutch players in sports, and Tom is right up there with them.”

Go read the rest of it if you're interested in this sort of thing, but Shank does this column enough times during a year that just removes the interest in it for me, and probably a good number of other readers as well.

Flashback Friday

The Patriots are about to play in their third Super Bowl in four years. Here's a reminder what Shank wrote a year before this run commenced.

DENVER — So there. In the end, it was about talent and merit, instead of myth and legacy. It turns out that an appearance in the Super Bowl is not an entitlement.

In the end, the overachieving, house-of-cards Patriots were simply not good enough to go to the Meadowlands for Super Bowl XLVIII. Not even close. The amazing part is that a lot of folks actually believed this team was going back to the big game.

Livin’ on a Prayer. Indeed.
...
But they are not good enough to win championships. When you have a roster of smurf wideouts, young defenders, undrafted free agents, and guys cut loose by other teams, eventually you come up against somebody with better players, somebody who is not going to wet his pants at the sight of Bill Belichick and Tom Brady. It happens every year. Sometimes earlier than others.

The Rapier Wit Of Dan Shaughnessy

Or rather, the lack thereof:

Tomorrow is Groundhog Day. If Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow, it means one more weekend of Tomato Cans for the Patriots.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) February 1, 2018

Readers let him have it:

Shank Shaughnessy, Jan 11, 2010: “the dynasty is over”. Whoops

— Introduced as a team (@introdasateam) February 1, 2018

If the patriots play their game to their capabilities they will win but it’s not gonnabe as easy as a lot of people think. It never is in the Super Bowl with the patriots

— jerry kirk (@jerry_kirk) February 1, 2018

This schtickis so overdone it's unreal

— Michael McNamara (@jku14evo) February 1, 2018

Jaguars were not tomato cans.

— Donald Ichton(@barkingspaniel) February 1, 2018

For an accomplished writer, you seem stuck on this one topic. Is this a form of writer’s block or are you just trolling? We get it, the AFC sucks.

— shrikes03 (@shrikes03) February 1, 2018

And Now For More Boston Globe Bashing - LXX

The building formerly known as the Boston Globe's headquarters is about to get a whole new look:

Nordblom Development this week submitted detailed plans for turning the old Globe plant at 135 Morrissey Blvd. in Dorchester into what it's calling the Beat - a facility for "creative office, technology, light manufacturing, warehouse, and life science tenants."

Rather than tearing the building down, Nordblom would repurpose the existing spaces inside for the new office, R&D and warehouse space - as well as, the company hopes, a food hall and a fitness center, and maybe even a rooftop farm. Antiquated communications and HVAC equipment left behind by the Globe would be ditched and replaced with state-of-the-art equipment.

What a shame - there are no plans for a Boston Globe Hall of Fame...

Super Bowl Trolling, Part III, Act II

Looks like 'ol Shankaroni & the Globe got some constructive, positive feedback from the most recent iteration of the column he's written four dozen times over the years:

Second of a two-part series by @Dan_Shaughnessy on why the Eagles can’t win: Nick Foles is a good story — but it won’t be good enough. https://t.co/7RZPhbQ6w7

— Boston Globe Sports (@BGlobeSports) January 31, 2018

Wow. What a fresh, original take from Shank! #yawn

— Displaced Bostonian (@Ironhead334) January 31, 2018

Another predictable and boring column by the Tomato Can of Boston sports scribes. If the Pats roll he’ll pat himself on the back , if they lose he’ll rip the high chairs, fanboysand most of all coach saying he took Philly lightly. This clown actually looks like a 🍅 pic.twitter.com/SuSbE5S2Dh

— JediMaster77 (@mattsgry7) January 31, 2018

This is the worst thing I’ve ever read in my life

— Kyle Richards (@kylerichards248) January 31, 2018

You must be new here!

I don't like either team but this "journalist" is a hack.

— jasonfox (@jroc967) January 31, 2018

Feel the love...

Super Bowl Trolling, Part III

Shank's simplistic 'analysis' of Sunday's Super Bowl matchup conveniently ignores fifty-two members of the Philadelphia Eagles and cites one player as the reason they will not win the game.

Nick Foles is a good story — but it won’t be good enough

Second of a two-part series on why the Eagles can’t win the Super Bowl vs. the Patriots.

Part two: Nick Foles

BLOOMINGTON, Minn. — Eagles quarterback Nick Foles has Calvin Schiraldi Eyes.

Not to be confused with Bette Davis eyes! Of course Shank needs to make a Red Sox reference in a Patriots column - and what a reference it was!

Take it from somebody who was at Shea Stadium in 1986 when clueless John McNamara kept handing the ball to Schiraldi, a forlorn Texan with a hard slider and a soft core. Just as you don’t want a closer with puppy-dog eyes, you don’t want your quarterback looking all sad and wistful. It projects weakness and saps confidence.

The matchup of Nick Foles vs. Tom Brady in Super Bowl LII is half the reason that the Eagles have no chance to beat the Patriots (the other half is Doug Pederson vs. Bill Belichick, which we covered in the first installment of this series).

Foles is a great national story this week. He is a once-traded, twice-released backup quarterback who’s going to start in the Super Bowl. He’s Rocky Balboa. He’s Rudy. He’s the Hoosier high school basketball team from Hickory. Gene Hackman is going to bring a tape measure to U.S. Bank Stadium Sunday and prove to Foles that the Super Bowl goalpost crossbars are only 10 feet high.

Let the rest of us know when you feel like talking about football, OK?

Super Bowl Trolling, Part II

Not content with rewriting the same column over and over and over and over, Shank now drags donuts into the equation:

Today is a day when bill belichick truly can eat nick foles for breakfast pic.twitter.com/zHojogtxQM

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 31, 2018

Super Bowl Trolling, Part 1

Shank's stepping up his game in an attempt to troll the fifth largest city in the United States.

First of a two-part series on why the Eagles can’t win the Super Bowl vs. the Patriots.

Part one: Eagles head coach Doug Pederson.

BLOOMINGTON, Minn. — Philadelphia Eagles coach Doug Pederson seems like a very nice fellow and has a serviceable NFL résumé as a player and coach.

“Doug Pederson’s done a great job with this football team,’’ Bill Belichick said Tuesday.

No doubt Belichick respects Pederson. It’s the professional thing to do. Pederson was an NFL quarterback for a long time and made his bones as an offensive coordinator for the Kansas City Chiefs. Now he has his Eagles in Super Bowl LII.

All niceties aside, deep down Belichick has to be thinking . . . there’s no way I can lose a Super Bowl to this guy!

And he’s right. Pederson is destined to join Mike Martz (Rams), John Fox (Panthers), Andy Reid (Eagles), Pete Carroll (Seahawks), and Dan Quinn (Falcons) as guys who lost to Belichick in a Super Bowl.

Some of the men listed above had a chance. Martz probably had a better team than the Patriots with his heavily favored Greatest Show on Turf back in 2002. Fox and Reid came to their Super Bowls as veteran coaches with impressive résumés. Carroll had already won a Super Bowl with Seattle and is actually a year older than Belichick.

How about Tom Coughlin, smart ass?

We've seen this too many times from Shank - any further commentary would be as repetitive as these rehashed columns.

Sweatin' To The Oldies

Or not, in this case:

The hardships of covering super bowl in minnesota pic.twitter.com/WBgmijRIXZ

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 29, 2018

We just don't fully appreciate the sacrifices Shank makes for us in order to rewrite the same columns week in & week out.

Some commenters had fun with it:

The thought of u in a Motel 6 hot tub is the most disturbing part of this post.

— David Foran(@daveforan1973) January 29, 2018

pro tip...the only people who remotely appreciate this type of tweet are fellow media schmucks

— Wooderson(@otoro7) January 29, 2018

The hardship is really endured by the people who have to look at you with your shirt off

— Justin (@JDodge22) January 29, 2018

That’s what you get for staying at a Ramada Inn

— Mont Hoyt (@monthoyt) January 29, 2018

This will simply give him more time to rehash some columns - oh joy!

And Now For More Boston Globe Employee Bashing - IV

Shank isn't the only Boston Globe sportswriter who doesn't like the New England Patriots or Tom Brady:

So Brady releases his all access documentary this week, then doesn't want to talk about it because it's a distraction? I believe that's called, "having your cake and eating it too." pic.twitter.com/LvbzDUnGQS

— Ben Volin (@BenVolin) January 27, 2018

Did Brady take a page out of the Trump playbook?

Exactly. Brady has smartly and hilariously turned the tables on the media which has filled past playoff runs w/ nonsense distractions targeted at the Patriots. This time, TB12 tosses out a brontosaurus bone for the mad dogs to gnaw at, giving himself space to prepare for the game

— Sam (@Taghkanic) January 28, 2018

Put words in Brady's mouth? Check:

he didn't call it a distraction, the reporter framed the question that way. C'mon. I know you work for the Globe, but surely you can do better.

— Theresa (@PatsFanGarb) January 27, 2018

I think the future's already here:

Ben Volin= Future Shank. Absolutely terrible. Will say anything for clicks.

— Jeff Joel (@JeffJoel) January 27, 2018

Will Shank Be Invited To This Party?

We'll find out in a few weeks - if Shank starts to be petty and vindictive towards anyone referenced in these tweets, we'll have our answer!

Going to Minneapolis? @985TheSportsHub will once again throw THE biggest Patriots Rally! Sat. 2/3 1pm-5:30 at Buffalo Wild Wings on the UM Campus! @FelgerAndMazz @ZoandBertrand @hardy985 @bigjimmurray

— Mike Thomas (@mikethomasmt8) January 26, 2018

THE PARTY!!!!! Get there early https://t.co/5oCJGVotox

— Zolak& Bertrand (@ZoandBertrand) January 26, 2018

Wide Right

What better way to write about the upcoming Super Bowl than to devote an entire column to Terry Francona?

Terry Francona knows Philadelphia sports fans. He managed the Phillies for four seasons and remembers when local enthusiasts slashed his car tires on Fan Appreciation Day at Veterans Stadium. He remembers a tender moment a few years later, after he was fired, when he hanging out before an Eagles game, helping a photographer pal who was taking photos of the Eagles and 49ers.

Bonus - Larry Bird sighting!

And Now For Some Shank Self-Congratulation

A modest fellow, isn't he?

I can see how this is going to go:
Titans Tonight.
Jags Next Week
Eagles with Folesin Super Bowl.
Could this get any easier?

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 14, 2018

I hate being right https://t.co/vFZ5YJfZjR

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 22, 2018

And as usual, the replies are spot on:

Love to hear your prediction about the big game. Let me guess.....Pats right? Of course, Philly has no chance cause Nick Folesis their QB. He couldn’t possibly beat Brady and Belichick.

— Rondell72 (@RandyMichaels72) January 22, 2018

You hate being trite?

— Jim Curran (@jimoncapecod) January 22, 2018

It's not easy being you

— Scott Chase (@sancho3765) January 22, 2018

4 bye weeks!

— Christina Pazzanese(@cpazzanese) January 22, 2018

And the winner:

you play both sides of the story. paraphrasing: "Jagsare tomato cans, Pats will win". then "Patswon, with a comeback like they always do against a tough team"

— Buck Mulligan (@MuckBullockin) January 22, 2018

From The Columnist Who Stopped Tweeting At 20-10 Jaguars

Not a really tough call, was it?

FOXBOROUGH — If you’ve been paying attention all these years, you knew there was never any doubt.

These are the Patriots, and there’s always a great comeback on deck. It doesn’t matter if the Patriots trail, 28-3, in the Super Bowl, or look beaten when the other team is ready to score a certain game-winning touchdown from 1 yard out. It certainly doesn’t matter if the Patriots are trailing the surprising Jacksonville Jaguars, 20-10, with less than nine minutes to play in an AFC Championship game.

If you feel the need to let this asshole insult your intelligence any further, by all means go ahead and abuse yourself.

Just One Question

How will Shank 'spin' this game, seeing that he (and Felger, and Tanguay, etc.) was calling this good Jaguars teams a 'tomato can' team all damn week? I will note that Shank did not send out any tweets while Jacksonville enjoyed its 20 - 10 lead in the second half. It was only when the Patriots started their comeback that he tweeted this out:

Here it comes

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 21, 2018

Typical fake bandwagon douchebag, if you ask me.

What A Difference A Half Hour Makes

No one turns on a dime quicker than Shank:

It's 48 degrees here in Foxboro . . . Oh, almost forgot, Jags just went up 14-3.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 21, 2018

Funny - wasn't Shank and the rest of the Boston sports media dismissing them as tomato cans all of last week?

Jags just lost their minds. Like everybody that comes here

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 21, 2018

"If you don't like these opinions, I have others!"

More AFC Championship Trolling, By Dan Shaughnessy

Keep it up, Shank:

Jags win toss. Defer. Smart move.
But this one is still over. And like Tom's hand on Wednesday, it's gonna be bloody.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 21, 2018

Game Day Trolling, By Dan Shaughnessy

Shank continues to pretend he's genuinely on the Patriots bandwagon, and gives Scott Zolak yet another reason to hate him.

The Patriots are 11-1 lifetime against the JAGS, and it hurts me to say this, but the Jags only win came when my man Zo was Pats QB.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 21, 2018

Commenters then remind Shank of a few things:

That stat does not matter.can’t stand it when “all-time” stats are given. Those were DIFFERENT teams. Last years SB team? Diff than this yr

— Southern Masshole(@TheBillman5) January 21, 2018

pic.twitter.com/NZwMMkkdql

— DFS King Cash (@dfskingcash) January 21, 2018

There goes your one friend in Boston

— Steve (@stevew2867_cody) January 21, 2018

Gloating before the game even begins? This is where the term Massholeoriginated 😆

— Kevin Pereau(@kpereau) January 21, 2018

And the winner:

pic.twitter.com/XoCakHW0fV

— Andrew (@hartstone_a) January 21, 2018

DHL Dan LXV - Playoff Recycling Edition

Haven't we read this column before?

With Tom Brady . . . without Tom Brady . . . it doesn’t really matter. The Patriots are going to beat the Jacksonville Jaguars in the AFC Championship game Sunday at Gillette Stadium, and this will bother a good portion of America’s sports fans.

In the eyes of NFL America, we are the Evil Empire.

And we don’t particularly care.

Shank's 'firmly' on the bandwagon again.

Brady is listed as questionable for Sunday, which is a whopper even by the Patriots’ lofty standards of disingenuousness. It is a tribute to Belichick, Brady, and the organization that there have been no significant leaks regarding the circumstance of Brady’s midweek injury and his status for the AFC Championship game. The 2017-18 Patriots would have been the greatest POWs in the history of modern warfare. They give up nothing. Ever.

A tribute that Shank used to trash on a routine basis, until now / when it's convenient for him to do so.

You've already read this column a few times in the previous weeks - do so again at your peril.

Strange Tweets, By Dan Shaughnessy

Is he losing it? Too many Bloody Mary's this morning? Slip and fall on his head during one of his grueling one-mile runs? Soliciting someone to drop a dime on a local athlete? What can possibly explain this enigmatic tweet?

Call me

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 17, 2018

Obsessed Much?

Former Boston Red Sox 1st baseman Adrian Gonzalez left the team on August 25, 2012. Five months and four years later, Shank's still lobbing shit in his general direction:

The Cooler scheduled to return to Fenway Friday September 14 - Sunday. Hope ESPN doesn’t grab Sunday game for nighttime. Cooler hates that.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 15, 2018

Remember when Shank mentioned Adrian Gonzalez in the same sentence as Ted Williams? Good times!

Is This Trolling?

Here at Dan Shaughnessy Watch, over the past couple of weeks we've gone over the many, many instances of Shank attempting to troll an entire city of the opponent that the New England Patriots were about to play. Shank's latest column, however, reads otherwise (at least to this observer):

Jaguars next in line as a hopeless, helpless Patriot foil

The Steelers couldn’t take down Blake Bortles, but the Patriots will.

Prepare for six days of hollow attempts to pump the tires of the Jacksonville Jaguars. Serious football folks will pretend that the Patriots have not already advanced to Super Bowl LII in Minneapolis Feb. 4. You will be reminded that there is still a game to be played.

Sorry. Not buying. I will not read any of the inside football analysis regarding the Jaguars’ vaunted defense (did you know they were second in the NFL in sacks?), Jacksonville’s Man Behind The Curtain (Tom Coughlin beat the Patriots in two Super Bowls when he coached the Giants), or the ground-and-pound style of rookie running back Leonard Fournette.

Save it for “Quick Slants,” “The Real Pregame Show,” “Football Night in America,” or any other clown show that attempts to take this game seriously.

Remember Shank mentioning the 'Patriots Cartel' last week? Add Tom Curran to that list (and I remember that Shank once called that show a clown show (link to the original story , for which he later apologized).

Overuse of the 'tomato can' cliché aside, Shank does in fact go on to make compelling arguments:

In November, I wrote that the Patriots’ mission statement is borrowed from Sun Tzu, the ancient Chinese general and architect of “The Art of War.’’ The general taught Belichick, “If you wait by the river long enough, the bodies of your enemies will float by.’’

And so they have. Every elite or semi-competent quarterback standing in the Patriots’ path has been erased over the last few weeks. One by one, the bodies of Carson Wentz, Aaron Rodgers, Matthew Stafford, Eli Manning, Joe Flacco, Russell Wilson, Alex Smith, Matt Ryan, Ben Roethlisberger, and Drew Brees have floated down the Cocasset River past the shadow of Gillette Stadium.
...
In four years in the NFL, Bortles has thrown 64 interceptions and has a completion percentage below 60 percent. He submitted a 1950s stat line (12 for 23, 87 yards) in Jacksonville’s 10-3, rock-fight victory over the Bills on wild-card weekend. Those are the same Bills the Patriots outscored, 60-19, in two easy wins.

Oh, and Jacksonville’s “great” defense? Roethlisberger torched the Jaguars for 469 yards and five touchdowns Sunday. What do you think Brady will do to them in Foxborough?

Aside from Tom Coughlin beating Belichick in two Super Bowls, I'd almost be semi-convinced. How's that for a firm blogger's opinion?

One last note - Shank's changed his Twitter avatar to... a tomato can. How original.

Picture Of The Year Candidate

Shawn Thornton, er, I mean Jerry Thornton has the early lead, with some emphasis on a major Shank talking point for the past three or four years (circled below):

Everything wrong with Boston sports media 2018 in one photo pic.twitter.com/CvelJqhN63

— Jerry Thornton (@jerrythornton1) January 16, 2018

Some of the comments on this picture:

It's a trifecta of douchebaggery

— Just Debi, no stache(@TedWellsMustach) January 16, 2018

Are people really trying to argue that a team with the best pass defense in the league is somehow a shitty opponent? Unreal

— Sam Richard (@sambrichard) January 16, 2018

If only Tomasewas in the picture. That would wouldbe the worst

— Vec(@Vec18) January 16, 2018

He's under the table

— Fugoodell(@CraigGillespi16) January 16, 2018

And the winner:

A face for radio pic.twitter.com/0OSPzN6A7B

— Brendan Farrand(@Farrando) January 16, 2018

I mentioned that 'face for radio' line to one of my clients - she couldn't stop laughing. Good stuff!

Troll, Troll Troll Your Boat

It seems Shank's been laying it on thick over the past twenty-four hours. First it's with last night's game, starting where it always does - the freakin' coin flip:

Pats win coin toss. Don't Defer. The World Is Upside Down. NE has no respect for these guys
This One's Over

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 14, 2018

Carnac then peers into the future:

I can see how this is going to go:
Titans Tonight.
Jags Next Week
Eagles with Folesin Super Bowl.
Could this get any easier?

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 14, 2018

And as the Jacksonville Jaguars finish off the Pittsburgh Steelers a few minutes ago:

Standing between the Patriots and another trip to the Super Bowl:
Blake Bleeping Bortles.
Wow.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 14, 2018

Last but not least, Shank shows of his mad emoji skillz:

🍅🛢

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 14, 2018

It's gonna be a long week, isn't it?

Broken Record / Recycling Alert

Shank's back to two of his favorite pastimes - rewriting old columns and stirring the pot mere hours before the Patriots play a divisional round playoff game.

FOXBOROUGH — With turmoil swirling around Route 1 and the heavily favored Patriots preparing to play Tennessee in the NFL divisional round on Saturday night, I thought it would be a good time to hop in the Wayback Machine and revisit a celebrated dustup between Bob Kraft and his future Hall of Fame coach when the Patriots were preparing for their second Super Bowl in early 1997.

That’s right, boys and girls. Welcome to Pigskin Deja Vu in Fort Foxborough. We have been here before.

The banishment of Tom Brady’s training guru and Bill Belichick’s unexplainable dumping of Jimmy Garoppolo don’t represent the first instance of trouble at the top during a Patriots Super Bowl run. And just like today, everybody lied about it then while it was unfolding.

Anyone remember the final days of Bill Parcells’s Patriots tenure in 1997?

And if you don't, Shank's here to eagerly remind you!

Seriously - what is the purpose of this, other than this being yet another battle in Shank's 20 year war against the Patriots? That's right - it's also an attempt to antagonize Patriots fans before a playoff game. It's the dreaded Shank twofer!

Responses on his Twitter feed are about what you'd expect:

No comparison between the 2 city articles today Shank?? Chowder vs Catfish????

— BillyFromManchester (@billyskouteris) January 13, 2018

Just dumb that you think Kraft would confirm a story two days before a Super Bowl and even dumber that you think Parcells deserves to be in Pats Hall of Fame. He quit on his team before a Super Bowl. Other than than that, great piece.

— George Brennan (@gpb227) January 13, 2018

You think the Kraftswill have another breakfast and leave you off f the invite list than you can get butt hurt and go after them for 20 more years

— Rick Ricciardi(@robemjoshreese) January 13, 2018

You are pitiful, inventing turmoil where there is none . Keep stirring the shit storm Shank something should shake out for you. If not , in true Globe tradition make something up.

— Pat (@Paintcan66Pat) January 13, 2018

And Now For Some Ron Borges Bashing

(Another of the occasional departures from Shank and Boston Globe bashing)

Readers of the Dan Shaughnessy Watch are fairly versed in Shank's flat-out hatred of the New England Patriots shortly after Robert Kraft purchased the team over two decades ago. We sometimes forget about another redoubtable Patriots troll. Of course I'm speaking about former Boston Globe plagiarist, the current Boston Herald columnist Ron Borges.

FOXBORO — The recent trailer for the upcoming Facebook documentary on Tom Brady’s fight with Father Time seemed a bit, shall we say, eerie. In fact, if the words coming out of his mouth had been uttered by Aaron Rodgers or Drew Brees, New England football fans would be chortling that both had lost their minds.

But in this part of the football world Tom Brady can do no wrong, at least not until he does. Then the whispers begin that the “Tom vs. Time” battle that is the subject of this six-part documentary on Facebook is being lost. This usually comes on the few weekends when the Patriots also lose. When they win, 40 is the new 30 and TB12 is as invincible as the Terminator. Still, to hear him sounding like a Cherokee or a Chickasaw coming out of a sweat lodge was a little unsettling.

First - anyone who reads Borges side-by-side with a Shank column will realize Borges' knowledge of football is vastly superior to Shank's, and even that might be an understatement. That said, both share the common trolling technique of praising the Patriots to some degree while ripping them and certain members of the team (read - Tom Brady) when it suits them. I'm fine with Borges mentioning Tom's past five games being less than his stellar self but the tone of his column, taken as a whole, seems to be somewhere between piling on and a rip job.

Newer readers may not be familiar with the dynamic with Borges and the Patriots - It's all but certain that while Borges was writing at the Globe in the 20th century, his primary source for juicy Patriots locker room gossip and other inside information was Drew Bledsoe. Borges hatred of the Patriots started at some point between Brady taking over for Bledsoe after the infamous Mo Lewis hit on Bledsoe and his subsequent trade to the Buffalo Bills. You could say Borges and Shaughnessy share quite a bit in common.

A Borges digression - the Globe shitcanned his ass a little over a decade ago. Once he landed on his feet at the Herald a short time later, a little Globe birdy told me that Borges was seething for revenge against the Globe for axing him, vowing 'I'm gonna fucking bury them'. To the best of my knowledge, Borges never filed a lawsuit against the Globe. So much for that bravado.

Stepping Up The Trolling Game

A little over a day before the Patriots play the Tennessee Titans in the divisional round of the 2017-2018 playoffs, the Titans' team plane is having some problems:

The #Titans have been sitting in their plane on the tarmac in Nashville for over two hours. Not good, especially for the big guys with bad backs. #Patriots.

— Paul Kuharsky (@PaulKuharskyNFL) January 12, 2018

And so it begins . . . https://t.co/wF7HeyD3Q1

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 12, 2018

I guess the Shank Store's out of tomato cans?

Readers are having some fun with this:

pic.twitter.com/02fR7j7qoB

— Barry (@LiciousLounge) January 12, 2018

Delayed at the gate gate?

— Tony Calderone(@tonysee200x) January 12, 2018

And so @Dan_Shaughnessy begins to troll.... pic.twitter.com/8bJJYyzZXc

— Tim (@timkelly02) January 12, 2018

And the winner:

pic.twitter.com/d3WpdotEBO

— FBombah (@FBombah) January 12, 2018

DHL Dan LXIV - A Shithole Column

Shank underwhelms us again with a picked up pieces column. Readers of this site are quite familiar with Shank's habit of playing up the Patriots as avatars of perfection(while not being sincere about it in the slightest) and he does so once again in this column:

■ The Patriots should have General Zod on their helmets instead of Flying Elvis. Zod is the comic book general of the Kryptonian Army who says, “I win. I always win. Is there no one on this planet to even challenge me?’’
...
■ Are 2-point conversions supposed to be as easy as the Patriots make them look? Take a scan back at the two the Patriots ran at the Falcons at the end of Super Bowl LI, then look at the quickie they pulled off against the on-their-heels Steelers last month. Zero resistance each time.

Real subtle, isn't it?

Whare's Waldo Shaughnessy?

I'm wondering why Shank skipped his weekly 98.5 The Sports Hub appearance, which he would have done by now. Is it because we're going to get the rare Thursday appearance? Have Zolak and Bertrand finally got sick of his act? Does management finally realize that his weekly regurgitation of his columns provide no value whatsoever in the realm of radio, or that Shank has a face for radio?

We gots to know!

Wash, Rinse, Repeat, Repeat, Repeat!

The sun will rise, the sun will reset, and Shank will beat on a dead horse one more time as he re-writes yet another column.

Forget the Titans. They have no chance vs. the Patriots

And so the Patriots get back-to-back bye weeks. Think of Saturday’s Titans game as a playoff layoff.

Again.

By way of comparison, here's Shank on December 13, 2015:

Five weeks later, the Texans came back for a playoff game and it was the same drill. I wrote that this matchup represented the first time in league history that a team had back-to-back bye weeks to start the playoffs.

Here's Shank, early 2013:

The 2011-2013 New England Patriots just became the first team in NFL history to get back-to-back byes before advancing to the AFC Championship game.

Back to the current story:

It’s hard to know where to start with the compulsory trashing of the not-ready-for-prime-time Tennessee Titans.

Let’s acknowledge up front that the Titans are professional football players who have achieved much by advancing to the divisional round of the NFL playoffs. Nashville is one great town and the Titans are an estimable organization. They almost won a Super Bowl in 2000, and they threw a big scare into New England’s Super Bowl champs on a cold night in Foxborough back in January of 2004.

All that said, let’s cut to the chase and call this what it is. The Titans are a joke and have no business making the trek to Foxborough for a divisional playoff game Saturday night. These Titans are accidental tourists in the 2017-18 NFL tournament. They are 13½-point underdogs. They have absolutely zero chance to beat the Patriots Saturday night.

I wrote this last year. I write this every year. Because nothing ever changes.

Why yes, you do write this every year!

Just a closing note to the fans, media and bloggers who are fans of and write about the Tennessee Titans:

DO NOT FALL FOR THIS CRAP FROM DAN SHAUGHNESSY.

This is his game, designed to piss off as many people as possible. That includes myself as well as yourself. Dan Shaughnessy Watch noted it last week and we did this two years ago. We seem to do this warning as often as Shank tries (and succeeds) to antagonize two entire fan bases, as these two links demonstrate. If you're still pissed off at Shank, send him an e-mail and give him some positive, constructive feedback!

UPDATE AT 5:15 PM - There were nineteen comments to that article when I was doing this post; now the Globe has removed all of them and you can't post comments now. I didn't think any of the comments were overly hostile; most of them were of the 'you wrote this column last year' variety. What gives?

UPDATE AT 7:45 PM - There they are - 83 comments. Now they're just messin' with me!

UPDATE AT 7:55 PM - Likely stealth edit by the Globe - Shank had the original date of the Titans / Pats playoff date as January 2003; a commenter pointed out the correct date as January 2004 at 12:45 this afternoon. I didn't read the column until the time noted below, so I wouldn't put it past them to change the date and not inform their readers.

The Belichick Anomaly

Is Shank calling New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick a liar? It sure looks that way:

Belichick says he hasn't read the ESPN article
Polygraphs explode across New England.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 8, 2018

Of course, this leaves out two or three possibilities. If someone briefed him on the story or if someone 'in Belichick's camp' fed information to Wickersham, he wouldn't need to read the column, would he? I believe this angle is the most likely one - maybe Belichick just doesn't give a rat's ass about anything that the media writes about him, good or bad. I can't recall Belichick ever preemptively reacting to a news story, so this would be consistent with past behavior.

I can't wait for Shank to regurgitate all of this on 98.5 The Sports Hub tomorrow morning...

UPDATE AT 2:25 PM - You know what just occurred to me today? I was just watching Felger & Mazz, which sealed it for me. Since this story came out on Friday, how many of you were caught up in it to some degree? I mean, ignore for now whether Wickersham's story is 100% right, 100% bullshit or somewhere in between. You know how some people describe pro wrestling as 'a soap opera for rednecks'? Don't these occasional Patriots stories feel that way to you as it does to me, that this is all a huge soap opera?

Both Sides Of His Mouth - II

Shank wakes up, drinks his bitter coffee and continues his disingenuous attempts at trying to have it both ways:

Jags-Bills is everything I thought it would be.
What a conference

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 7, 2018

Titans at Gillette Saturday.
Patriots first team in NFL history awarded back-to-back bye weeks before the AFC Championship.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 7, 2018

You know how I know Shank's lying about this? Who did Shank think was going to win yesterday's game between the Titans and the Chiefs?

It looks like the Chiefs will be in New England next weekend and . . . it looks like their best player, Travis Kelce, just got concussed.
Things never change. #Tomatocans

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 6, 2018

But wait - this gets even better!

Nope. You never recycle at all. That was apparently the 2012 Patriots. pic.twitter.com/E87Fi3Y7vC

— Justin Martell (@jmartell21) January 7, 2018

To conclude - over the past three days, Shank writes a column saying the Patriots aren't a good team, piles on the 'Patriots are in disarray' story by ESPN, sends out numerous tweets severely discounting any chance the Bills, Titans or the Jaguars have of beating the Patriots (even if they suck lemons) and demonstrates one more time that he shamelessly recycles his old column themes, all designed to piss off as many football fans as possible.

The Boston Globe's sports section was once considered to be among the finest in the United States, if not the finest of them all. It is now reduced to their sole columnist more or less behaving like a spoiled, immature brat. How the mighty have fallen...

Both Sides Of His Mouth

Who cares about consistency if it gets him page clicks and TV appearances? A couple of hours after Shank's latest Patriots bashing column went live, he does the fastest 180 degree turn I have ever seen from him:

It looks like the Chiefs will be in New England next weekend and . . . it looks like their best player, Travis Kelce, just got concussed.
Things never change. #Tomatocans

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 6, 2018

Pats knew they'd face Chiefs, Titans, or Bills next weekend. Chiefs were only team with remote chance to compete. Now they are gone. Titans and Bills both suck. Horrible QBs with no experience. Tomato Can beat goes on. #boring

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 7, 2018

Seriously, Pats fans, is this really enjoyable? Do you really love it when it is this easy? Pats will be 15-point favorites next week in a playoff game. Fun? Really? https://t.co/ZdzbjBTZkV

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 7, 2018

The responses to that last tweet are awesome- just click on it and check them out for yourselves.

Stirring The Pot, Fanning The Flames - II

You just knew Shank would not be content just to tweet about Friday's ESPN column by Seth Wickersham, right?

We may never know who ordered the Code Red (a.k.a. the trading of Jimmy Garoppolo), but fallout from two days of blockbuster stories is sure to shake the holy trinity of Patriot Nation.

On Friday, ESPN released an exhaustive report of trouble in Patriot Land, reporting that Bob Kraft mandated the Garoppolo trade and detailing hard feelings between Bill Belichick, Kraft, and Tom Brady, much of it owed to the Jimmy G. trade and treatment of Brady’s personal training guru, Alex Guerrero. The story largely made Belichick look good, made Brady look bad, and made Kraft look like a meddling owner.

This part of the story, of course, completely ignores the joint statement by Brady, Belichick & Kraft that Wickersham's story is Grade A bullshit. Also of note - Wickersham's story does not identify a single source by name. Does this tactic sound familiar to you?

I hope you're sitting down - behold as Shank tries to take at least partial credit for all of this:

This is what happens when ESPN shines a light on the egos and strained relationships inside the walls of Fort Foxborough.

If you’ve been paying attention, it’s no surprise really. We’ve been telling you all along that Kraft ordered the trading of Jimmy G. against the wishes of Belichick. We’ve exposed the fraudulence of Guerrero. Thumbing through Brady’s fitness book, or listening to the quarterback talk about Guerrero, suggests that Tom has been kidnapped by aliens. It’s more cult than sports culture. Belichick restricting Guerrero’s access and availability to other Patriot players at team facilities this season has agitated Brady and divided the organization. Tossing a little more tension on the pile, we have the beloved/needy owner who thinks of Brady as a fifth son.

Although I think Guerrero is a shady character, I have one simple question / retort for Shank and other Guerrero critics - how, then, can you explain Brady's MVP-worthy performance at 40 years old?

Eventually, Shank's hard-on wore off and he returns to earth:

It might be as simple as this: Belichick had a quarterback succession plan, but Brady’s level of performance outlived Bill’s plan.

Still, the vaunted Patriot Way for 18 years has been to get rid of a guy too early rather than too late. For some reason, that time-tested logic went out the window when it came to Brady. Now Kraft is asking us to believe it was all Bill. So, here we are.

Yes, it could be as simple as that, but Shanks wants to make Mt. Everest out of a molehill, again.

Stirring The Pot, Fanning The Flames

Shank's at it again, this time piggybacking a story by ESPN's Seth Wickersham about potential trouble in Patriots paradise:

THE PROBLEM WITH living your life under the spotlight is that the camera captures only the public eruption, not the months of silent anger. On Dec. 3, when the New England Patriots played the Buffalo Bills, Tom Brady walked to the sideline after throwing late and behind receiver Brandin Cooks on third down, ending a first-quarter drive. Brady was angrier and more irritable than usual, as has often been the case this season in the eyes of some Patriots players and staff. As he unsnapped his chinstrap, Brady passed offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels on the sideline.

It's worth the read if you have the time - looks like a 15 minute column at a minimum. I'm inclined to believe a majority of a column of that length where it is obvious the column spans a good part of the past football season and Seth is a fairly connected journalist, so unlike Ron Borges relying on Drew Bledsoe as his sole source, Seth can compare and corroborate statements from multiple sources for better story accuracy.

But that's not the primary focus for us, dear reader - let's get Shank's take on the matter:

ESPN great job today. But not all new. Volin, Zo, Bedard, Curran been on it. This from Dec. 22 Globe: "Will Brady Guru Break Up The Band?": "We know Kraft puts loyalty to Tom above everything -- even if it perhaps means trading Jimmy G for 2nd rd pick over objections of BB.''

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 5, 2018

I know Shank's just trying to stir the pot some more, but is he also saying that the local Boston sports media just got punked again by a national reporter who put all the pieces together into a single, splashy comprehensive story and they did not? This happened with Yahoo Sports breaking the Red Sox 'chicken and beer' story five-odd years ago.