You Were Saying?

Jags morphing into Tomato Cans right in front of our eyes. Turnover. Gashed. Penalty. Dropped pass. Taking no time off the clock. Now punting it back to NE with short kick. We have seen this before. You can see the blood draining from their faces.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 16, 2018

From The Columnist Who Stopped Tweeting At 20-10 Jaguars

Not a really tough call, was it?

FOXBOROUGH — If you’ve been paying attention all these years, you knew there was never any doubt.

These are the Patriots, and there’s always a great comeback on deck. It doesn’t matter if the Patriots trail, 28-3, in the Super Bowl, or look beaten when the other team is ready to score a certain game-winning touchdown from 1 yard out. It certainly doesn’t matter if the Patriots are trailing the surprising Jacksonville Jaguars, 20-10, with less than nine minutes to play in an AFC Championship game.

If you feel the need to let this asshole insult your intelligence any further, by all means go ahead and abuse yourself.

Just One Question

How will Shank 'spin' this game, seeing that he (and Felger, and Tanguay, etc.) was calling this good Jaguars teams a 'tomato can' team all damn week? I will note that Shank did not send out any tweets while Jacksonville enjoyed its 20 - 10 lead in the second half. It was only when the Patriots started their comeback that he tweeted this out:

Here it comes

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 21, 2018

Typical fake bandwagon douchebag, if you ask me.

What A Difference A Half Hour Makes

No one turns on a dime quicker than Shank:

It's 48 degrees here in Foxboro . . . Oh, almost forgot, Jags just went up 14-3.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 21, 2018

Funny - wasn't Shank and the rest of the Boston sports media dismissing them as tomato cans all of last week?

Jags just lost their minds. Like everybody that comes here

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 21, 2018

"If you don't like these opinions, I have others!"

More AFC Championship Trolling, By Dan Shaughnessy

Keep it up, Shank:

Jags win toss. Defer. Smart move.
But this one is still over. And like Tom's hand on Wednesday, it's gonna be bloody.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 21, 2018

Game Day Trolling, By Dan Shaughnessy

Shank continues to pretend he's genuinely on the Patriots bandwagon, and gives Scott Zolak yet another reason to hate him.

The Patriots are 11-1 lifetime against the JAGS, and it hurts me to say this, but the Jags only win came when my man Zo was Pats QB.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 21, 2018

Commenters then remind Shank of a few things:

That stat does not matter.can’t stand it when “all-time” stats are given. Those were DIFFERENT teams. Last years SB team? Diff than this yr

— Southern Masshole(@TheBillman5) January 21, 2018

pic.twitter.com/NZwMMkkdql

— DFS King Cash (@dfskingcash) January 21, 2018

There goes your one friend in Boston

— Steve (@stevew2867_cody) January 21, 2018

Gloating before the game even begins? This is where the term Massholeoriginated 😆

— Kevin Pereau(@kpereau) January 21, 2018

And the winner:

pic.twitter.com/XoCakHW0fV

— Andrew (@hartstone_a) January 21, 2018

DHL Dan LXV - Playoff Recycling Edition

Haven't we read this column before?

With Tom Brady . . . without Tom Brady . . . it doesn’t really matter. The Patriots are going to beat the Jacksonville Jaguars in the AFC Championship game Sunday at Gillette Stadium, and this will bother a good portion of America’s sports fans.

In the eyes of NFL America, we are the Evil Empire.

And we don’t particularly care.

Shank's 'firmly' on the bandwagon again.

Brady is listed as questionable for Sunday, which is a whopper even by the Patriots’ lofty standards of disingenuousness. It is a tribute to Belichick, Brady, and the organization that there have been no significant leaks regarding the circumstance of Brady’s midweek injury and his status for the AFC Championship game. The 2017-18 Patriots would have been the greatest POWs in the history of modern warfare. They give up nothing. Ever.

A tribute that Shank used to trash on a routine basis, until now / when it's convenient for him to do so.

You've already read this column a few times in the previous weeks - do so again at your peril.

Is This Trolling?

Here at Dan Shaughnessy Watch, over the past couple of weeks we've gone over the many, many instances of Shank attempting to troll an entire city of the opponent that the New England Patriots were about to play. Shank's latest column, however, reads otherwise (at least to this observer):

Jaguars next in line as a hopeless, helpless Patriot foil

The Steelers couldn’t take down Blake Bortles, but the Patriots will.

Prepare for six days of hollow attempts to pump the tires of the Jacksonville Jaguars. Serious football folks will pretend that the Patriots have not already advanced to Super Bowl LII in Minneapolis Feb. 4. You will be reminded that there is still a game to be played.

Sorry. Not buying. I will not read any of the inside football analysis regarding the Jaguars’ vaunted defense (did you know they were second in the NFL in sacks?), Jacksonville’s Man Behind The Curtain (Tom Coughlin beat the Patriots in two Super Bowls when he coached the Giants), or the ground-and-pound style of rookie running back Leonard Fournette.

Save it for “Quick Slants,” “The Real Pregame Show,” “Football Night in America,” or any other clown show that attempts to take this game seriously.

Remember Shank mentioning the 'Patriots Cartel' last week? Add Tom Curran to that list (and I remember that Shank once called that show a clown show (link to the original story , for which he later apologized).

Overuse of the 'tomato can' cliché aside, Shank does in fact go on to make compelling arguments:

In November, I wrote that the Patriots’ mission statement is borrowed from Sun Tzu, the ancient Chinese general and architect of “The Art of War.’’ The general taught Belichick, “If you wait by the river long enough, the bodies of your enemies will float by.’’

And so they have. Every elite or semi-competent quarterback standing in the Patriots’ path has been erased over the last few weeks. One by one, the bodies of Carson Wentz, Aaron Rodgers, Matthew Stafford, Eli Manning, Joe Flacco, Russell Wilson, Alex Smith, Matt Ryan, Ben Roethlisberger, and Drew Brees have floated down the Cocasset River past the shadow of Gillette Stadium.
...
In four years in the NFL, Bortles has thrown 64 interceptions and has a completion percentage below 60 percent. He submitted a 1950s stat line (12 for 23, 87 yards) in Jacksonville’s 10-3, rock-fight victory over the Bills on wild-card weekend. Those are the same Bills the Patriots outscored, 60-19, in two easy wins.

Oh, and Jacksonville’s “great” defense? Roethlisberger torched the Jaguars for 469 yards and five touchdowns Sunday. What do you think Brady will do to them in Foxborough?

Aside from Tom Coughlin beating Belichick in two Super Bowls, I'd almost be semi-convinced. How's that for a firm blogger's opinion?

One last note - Shank's changed his Twitter avatar to... a tomato can. How original.