Friday, February 23, 2007

What is your favorite Shankism?

(Preface: I apologize for the lack of hypertext links throughout, dave m)

Last summer, I was amused to read a bit from one of the readers of Boston Sports Media. He researched the number of times Shaughnessy had used a line about grey poupon mustard in his column. For example, on May 4, 2006, Shaughnessy wrote:
Whatever happened to peanuts, Cracker Jacks, and Fenway Franks? You won't hear ''Kill the ump!" or ''Yankees suck!" in the EMC Club. It goes something more like, ''Pardon me, could you pass the Grey Poupon?"
On April 27, 1992, he wrote:

Now they don't talk back. All- Star Reggie Lewis throws down a dunk, then says, ''Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?'' I don't know about you, but I miss the trash-talking days of yore.
In sum total, the self-plagiarizing Shank has used the grey poupon line an astonishing13 times….5/4/06, 10/14/03, 8/16/02, 5/21/99, 1/12/98, 8/20/97, 1/24/96, 5/8/95, 11/20/94, 8/14/93, 6/19/93, 2/25/93, 4/27/92

On February 18, 2007, Shank took a familiar stab at Manny Ramirez portraying Manny as a clueless dunce. He wrote:
Can't wait for that Manny Moment when he sees Daisuke Matsuzaka for the first time and asks teammates, "Hey, who is that Japanese guy and why is he wearing Johnny Damon's number?"

On December 14, 2006, CHB wrote in an advice column to Matsuzaka::

Do not be surprised or insulted when a Spanish-speaking player wearing No. 24 greets you at spring training with, "Hey, who are you? When did we get you? Were you in Pawtucket last year? I love playing in Pawtucket."
As for other familiar refrains from Shank land, here are some recaps:

“Daddy Globe”/”Daddy Times”: 11/16/06, 8/24/06, 6/18/06, 5/4/06, 4/11/06, 12/16/05, 4/18/05, 10/31/04, 10/31/03, 1/30/03

“Diva” or “Dominican Diva”: 2/18/05, 2/11/05, 9/17/03, 8/26/03, 8/21/03, 8/7/03

“Young Theo”: 12/10/06, 11/16/06, 8/20/06, 2/19/06, 11/9/05, 9/23/05, 3/27/05, 1/5/05, 10/28/03, 7/30/03, 4/12/03, 3/5/03, 2/18/03, 1/17/03, 12/16/02, 11/26/02 (Bob Ryan has used it once over this time span)

Elvis References: 2/18/07, 2/16/07, 1/14/07, 4/26/06, 2/19/06, 11/13/05, 5/11/05, 11/23/03, 5/21/03, 3/5/03, 1/28/03, 12/16/02, 1/31/02, 8/24/01, 8/16/00, 11/11/99, 11/13/83

“Daddy Butch”: Too many to list

Theo and the Minions: 2/18/07; 11/16/06; 11/9/06; 8/19/06; 4/5/06; 11/29/05; 10/30/05; 6/26/05; 1/5/05; 10/28/03 (“seemheads” not minions); 12/16/02 (Theo and his “posse”)

“Blowhard” (Curt Schilling reference): 2/23/07, 2/18/07; 2/2/07, 6/26/05 plus a host of other disparaging remarks about Schilling

“Fanboy” or “Blogger”: 2/18/07; 12/1/06; 8/27/06; 12/30/05; 12/21/05; 7/29/05

I am sure we are missing a few references. Do you have a favorite Shank-ism? List it here and we will see how many we can find.


Dave M said...

Shoot I forgot the 18 Foxy Lady references: 2/20/07; 1/14/05; 8/8/03; 4/17/01; 11/16/00; 3/26/00; 12/10/99; 10/3/99; 5/8/99; 5/7/99; 4/7/99; 8/16/98; 8/11/98; 7/10/98; 4/4/98; 3/12/98; 2/16/98; 1/30/98

Chris said...

I'll bet that Groton ranks pretty high on the list of Massachusetts towns when it comes to sales of Grey Poupon (mentioned 13 times). But that's a connecting-of-the-dots you will NOT see in a Chia-pet column.

Inquiring minds want to know how many times Chia Pet will use the term 'Daddy Times' before the Times is no longer the Globe's 'Daddy.' How many suitors could there be??? "Let's see: declining readership...Check. Evaporating ad revenues...Check. Bleeding socialistic/liberal agenda masquerading as news...Check. An english-language newspaper in a city and State that is more Spanish by the minute...Check. A newspaper filled with news that isn't 'news'...Check.

Where do we sign up???"

Paul said...

The two big Boston newspapers are sinking fast. They both deal in "info-tainment". The Globe tries to hide info-tainment as news. The Herald usually is a little more up front about it. In the next ten years newspapers will be obsolete anyways.

It's common for a writer to re-use some of their better lines (ever read a new Stephen King book lately?). But Shank (and to a sightly lesser extent, Callahan. Although, his man-crush on Jack Bauer is a little scary.) use the same tired cliches and pop culture references. Shank must have a check list he goes through before he submits his articles. Backhanded comment on Schilling and/or Manny (Pedro was on the list before becoming a Met). Obscure Boston sports reference (usually from 30-50 years ago). Sarcastic aside about the yahoo fan base. Another Schilling or Manny slam to wrap things up.

I've made a bunch of comments on this blog and I don't think I've repeated the same reference twice. I'm just one guy who is not in possession of a Journalism degree.

Dave, you said it best. "Dan Hates You and Thinks You Are Stupid". Truer words have never been spoken.

Dave M said...

Thanks for the comment Paul...but I have go to give credit to DBvader for the "Dan Hates You" line! It is a good one.

Agreed that writers will re-use some of their better lines. You are right though--Shaughnessy does it to the point of extreme irritation

The Chief said...

The CHB writes the way he does because as a little kid Mother Shaughnessy bought him a Mad Libs book and he wasn't smart enough to realize that it was a game, not a formula for writing.

So he's spent the past 20+ years cutting and pasting columns, as has been pointed out in spades here.

And all the while, he's been lucky enough to work for a series of editors who couldn't tell the difference.

mouse said...

Mad Libs...oh man, that's gold.

I always liked "Young Theo" and "Theo and his minions" for some reason. Maybe it's because you can just hear the petty jealousy/resentment in them. Any chance Shank ever stops with the "Young Theos" even after Theo is like, old? Somehow, I think Theo will still be "young" to Shank in 2034.

Anonymous said...

We used to get endless references to Bruce Springsteen, but now that the Boss has evolved beyond "Born To Run" (unlike, sadly, CHB) we don't get it nearly as much. Thank God.

Anonymous said...

Hey, let's cut Danno some slack!!
The Grey Poupon commercials might actually be his most recent cultural references.

Anonymous said...

The reason that Dan recycles thread worn phrases so often is that his one remaining true interest is playing the - Alzheimer's Guessing Game - with Mike Barnicle on TKK each morning. One need listen only a few times to realize how excited Dan is to ask Mike to guess someone's age as reported in the current Globe sidekick segment.

pjsoxfan said...

I'm late to this conversation but no less appreciative of the topic. You could make a drinking game based on his predictability.

But you didn't give Shank his proper credit, regarding the modernity of his references. After all, he mentions "Fanboy bloggers" which shows he embraces this newfangled internet technology.

Dan's "fanboy bloggers" of yesteryear?... "Nitwit Radio."