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Thursday, February 23, 2006

Overcooked

It's hard to believe Jim Rice has been retired since 1989, not when he's the subject of a column a month by The CHB. Funny how a guy who couldn't stand him when he was playing is now his biggest booster for post-career accolades. But that's what happens when you have a split personality.

So Globe readers are treated to the litany of "data" supporting Rice's candidacy, most of which are simply random trivia: how over 12 seasons he led the American League in everything except nose-picking, how he was the first player since Joe DiMaggio to reach 400 total bases in one year, how he is the only player in baseball history with three consecutive seasons of 35 homers and 200 hits.

And for the third straight time Dan contrasts Rice's megawatt charm to that of Kevin Millar's, who is apparently the only outgoing and jovial player in the history of Major League Baseball.

"But his body betrayed him in his mid-30s ... " Dan writes. As has been written elsewhere, it wasn't so much his body as his eyes and his vanity: It's been well documented by SI and others that Rice was too vain to wear glasses and complained that he didn't like contacts. Bummer, dude.

While the piece serves mostly to highlight Rice's double-barreled assault on respect and diction ("Gwynn didn't dominate nothing. Cal Ripken didn't dominate nothing. If you look at Bruce Sutter, Bruce Sutter ain't dominated nothing ..."), it should be noted that The CHB once again fails to acknowledge any reasons why Rice is being overlooked, except of course, his somewhat less-than-charming personality. At least Dan's consistent about something.

8 comments:

Mitch said...

Typical disingenuousness: "It's been suggested that his exclusion from Cooperstown is a result of payback from some of those who were snubbed."

Suggested by whom, I wonder?

objectivebruce said...

Why is a joke about Manny's visa bordering on racist, but the blogger poking fun at Rice for his use of an idiom is somehow supposed to rise to the level of respectible criticism?

Surely there must be cows you can go tip.

The Chief said...

I wouldn't want to hurt your wife, Dan.

jenny said...

Wow. Zing, Chief.

Anonymous said...

Oh man, bruce you should just quit right now!

Anonymous said...

Why should OB quit? His nonsense is the most entertaining thing on this site.

guile said...

nice, cozy place you got here :)..

Anonymous said...

jim ed was so great to my kids.. CHB was a chief cause of Rice's surliness.
All the man wanted was peace and quiet