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Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Honorable Mention

Ha ha ha. Ha ha, ha ha ha ha.

Manny is late to camp and the joke's on Shaughnessy.

In today's column The CHB grinds his teeth so hard over the absence of Manny Ramirez from spring training you can almost hear it through the page. He's trying to come up with a way to trash the hands-down best player to put on a Red Sox uniform since the turn of the century without looking like he's trashing him -- a feat he's just not capable of pulling off.

Why go after Manny? Easy: because 1) he doesn't accommodate Dan (who does?), 2) he doesn't share Dan's view of what's important (ditto), and 3) he is Latin American.

Amid all this, he finds the time to refer to Red Sox GM Theo Epstein as "Belichick" and "Duquette," references to the teamwide decision to no longer cater to The CHB.

And he reminds us yet again that he has Larry Lucchino's cellphone number (who doesn't?).

"So the Red Sox once again are forced to play by Manny Rules." Yes, Dan, and that's quite all right with us. Like I said, the joke's on you.

Blog watch: "Meanwhile, Curt Schilling and his little late-night friends no doubt will remind us that this is just another example of the Knights of the Keyboard making something out of nothing."

Don't think Dan (aka "objectivebruce") doesn't read this space daily? Ha ha ha.

15 comments:

jenny said...

You know what else is funny? That CHB actually thinks calling someone "Belichick" is an insult. I'd be honored if someone would insult me by comparing me to one of the smartest coaches in the NFL who's won 3 Super Bowls in the last 5 years. Good one, Dan!

Why so much volume this week?

troywestfield said...

Anticipating that the rest of the world will say "So what?" does not invalidate that opinion. Of *course* Shaughnessy can predict that "Red Sox Nation" will yawn. That's because he knows it's not a real story, or worth a column (even one of his).

Chiefy b, ever thought of running a contest? I mean, as soon as we saw the link to the story on espn.com yesterday, we all KNEW the topic of today's column, right? We could all try to write the next day's column. Or maybe you could set up a random Shaughnessy column generator like the Gammons one; you just plug in "Manny reporting late to camp" and it does the rest. Oh, wait, I forgot that you could just dig out the column from two or three years ago and replace "Martinez" with "Ramirez" ...

herb said...

Someone just turned me on to this site after I mentioned that I emailed CHB this morning after the column (this site is pure genius by the way).

Anyway; I emailed DS and called him a hack and mentioned that it was a shame that the Globe, which gave us Leigh Montville, Gammons, Ryan, and MacMullen has to trot out his drivel on a regular basis.

His response was to say "sorry if your feelings were all hurt".

Talk about irony!

jenny said...

I've quit writing to CHB, which is why this blog is so great. I decided it was a waste of time; all my venting and what I thought were pretty good attempts at analyzing what was wrong with his work were all for naught as he either missed my point entirely or just decided to fire back an insult. I got tired of it. Some sportswriters will actually give you thoughtful responses. He can't even bother to use correct capitalization or punctuation. It's like talking to a brick wall.

morrissey mole said...

Not only is Dan coming here, everyone in Dan's office is. And blabbing about how much the people who run these sites are get-a-life losers who can't hack it. But they keep coming back. And coming back again. And again. And again. But no, really, they don't like the site. They just click here every day and obssess about it, that's all.

The Chief said...

MM, what's ironic and amusing about that is that several Globe writers themselves have tried blogging and found they couldn't hack it.

Not that it's hard.

Anonymous said...

Would it be incredible if CHB had given the Manny hysteria the one-sentence dismissal it deserved and then written a thoughtful column about something interesting?

Wouldn't it be nice to see pigs fly?

Petecard said...

Dan needs to quit his job and rent office space with the snotty lawyer who flamed her jilted boss last week. The two of them were made for each other.

Alex Bain said...

Chief, two questions for you:
1) When you link to CHB columns, can you have the link direct us to the "printer friendly" versions, so that the Globe will make a little less advertising money off his "work"? I hate to think we're contributing to the wrong side of the cause.
2) It's not that hard to see which IP addresses your hits are coming from when you write a blog. You ought to check to see how many of your hits are coming from the Globe offices, and let us know. I bet it's a handful a day, at least.

Thanks, and keep up the great work.

Beth said...

The solution to this is JUST SO EASY--and it's what I hope the Sox are doing right now. Don't talk to him. Don't accomodate him. Don't respond to his requests for interviews. Don't give him any material to work with at all. Sooner or later, if the Globe really is interested in anything approaching journalism, they'll need to get a new reporter if they want to get sources.

I hope to God this is really what's happening. Just get rid of him. Get him out of this city. I'll never understand why we put up with either him or Tim McCarver--surely at some point there have to be some checks and balances on these guys, or at least some effing karma.

jenny said...

Can't they revoke his press pass? We already know he's upset Nomar, Schilling, Manny, Theo, and probably a whole bunch of others. Couldn't they take his credentials away on the grounds that he's disturbing the peace or harming the organization or something? Or maybe they don't even need a reason. It's private property and a private company; the First Amendment doesn't apply and if he's on Red Sox property without the proper credentials, couldn't he be tossed out for trespassing? Someone needs to draw a line in the sand.

The Chief said...

alex,

thanks for the thoughts.
1) good idea.
2) i get double-digit hits per day from IP addresses that begin with a series known to be registered to tbe Globe.

Anonymous said...

Dan wants to see you in his office.

The Chief said...

I don't do bathrooms.

morrissey mole said...

Dan actually doesn't have an office. It is a desk right by the copy desk, and as you might imagine, is adorned with a huge picture of Babe Ruth.