Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Imitations of Dan

Picked up pieces while waiting for the Globe to publish yet another correction to Dan's columns ...

Mrs. Wayne Gretzky, aka Janet Jones, wasn't part of a gambling ring; she was rehearsing for her role in the upcoming sequel to The Flamingo Kid.

Why is it that Jim Rice, who for 12 years swung a 36 oz. bat better than any man alive, needs a ticket to get into the Hall of Fame, while it rolls out the welcome mat for Peter Gammons, who can barely handle a 2 oz. pen?

What George Foreman was in the 90s, Jerome Bettis is today. Who will be the next scary black man to rehab his image -- Allen Iverson?

Hold off on the hate mail. I wanted to see how long it would take to imitate one of Dan's columns. In case you were wondering, about 15 seconds.


Anonymous said...

The Flamingo Kid is too recent to be a Shaughnessy reference. Substitute The Exorcist or All The President's Men instead.

The Chief said...

Yeah, but she was in the original. And gambling is the subtext.