Low Hanging Fruit

The more wins John Calipari racks up with the Kentucky Wildcats, the more chances Shank gets to take a dump on the guy, this being the second one of the year:

Here we are. Kentucky, the No. 1-ranked team in the country — coached by John Calipari — is on the cusp of NCAA history, 31-0 after Saturday’s win over Florida. Meanwhile, the folks at UMass have decided to retire Coach Cal’s “number,” and this weekend marks the 20th anniversary of him refusing to allow a Globe reporter to visit his home for Selection Sunday (nope, no animosity here! - ed).

Sometimes there is not enough space in our newspaper to articulate all the thoughts, and state all the points, that need to be made.

Let’s start with this: John Calipari is a magnetic figure, undoubtedly the greatest college basketball recruiter of the 21st century. He works the NCAA’s cesspool system better than any man alive. He is charismatic. He came to Amherst more than a quarter of a century ago as a Rick Pitino wannabe, but now he has vaulted over Pitino, and created the Brand of Cal. He is probably going to win a second national championship with Kentucky this year and is no doubt a swell dancer and would make for a fine dinner companion.

But as a Massachusetts taxpayer, I have a problem with UMass “retiring” Coach Cal’s number.

The only time Shank pretends to give a rat's ass about sports at UMass is when he can use it to take shots at John Calipari. That said, there's little to debate with respect to Calipari's tenure at both UMass and Memphis, where he and / or the team were hit with NCAA sanctions both times. He's not exactly Coach K in the ethics department.

What's interesting here is the italicized part above. When the New England Patriots played in their second Super Bowl in 1997, the Patriots threw a party and Shank was not invited. We believe this to be the point where Shank became a lifelong bête noire of the Patriots. If he disliked the Patriots at that point (or, more specifically, owner Robert Kraft), this snub was the proverbial nail in the coffin.

In much the same manner, if Shank disliked Calipari in 1995, this snub of a fellow Boston Globe reporter pretty much sealed the deal from that point until now.

What's This 'We' Shit, Kemosabe?

Shank feels left out (or he's feigning it again) of this year's NCAA basketball tournament:

We’re feeling left out of the men’s March Madness — and it wasn’t always like this

No white sport coat. No pink carnation. We are Big Dance wallflowers.

It’s March Madness season across the USA, but here in Greater Boston, we’re not involved. We are the ultimate outsiders. We are landline folks in a SmartPhone World.

The NCAA men’s Division 1 basketball tournament is more popular than ever and launches in full fury Thursday and Friday with subregionals in Columbus, Greensboro, Orlando, Sacramento, Des Moines, Albany, Denver, and Birmingham.

Here in the Hub of the Universe, we have no Terriers or Huskies in this fight. Also, no Eagles, Minutemen, Crimson, or Crusaders.

New England is represented. Sort of. On Friday, 15th-seeded Vermont plays Marquette in Columbus, fourth-seeded UConn faces Rick Pitino’s Iona in Albany, and 11th-seeded Providence plays John Calipari’s Kentucky Wildcats in Greensboro.

Once again, Shank writes a column whose tone is unmistakably provincial and arrogant - it's all about Boston / New England. The kicker is the use of John Calipari's picture to head the column; Shank hates this fucking guy, yet he'll use the picture to help sell the column. I was watching an ESPN '30 for 30' show about John Calipari a few days ago, and at one point it showed a picture of one of Shank's columns bashing Calipari during the end of Calipari's tenure at UMass, otherwise known as the 'run him out of town' phase of the relationship. Utterly shameless.

Grinding The Ax

The Kentucky Wildcats won their first two games of this year's NCAA tournament. As sure as the sun rising every day, you can count on Shank to take another shit on coach John Calipari.

Kentucky wins. Again and again.

I love this story. I love to poke fun at coach John Calipari, Kentucky superfan Ashley Judd, and citizens of BBN (Big Blue Nation, didn’t you know?).

No you don't - you just like taking steaming dumps on Calipari. You have yet to say a word either way about Ashley Judd, and anything you say about Big Blue Nation is simply cover fire for taking shots at the coach.

I love the idea that we have a team in the NCAA Tournament that is 36-0, with a maximum of four games remaining. If the Wildcats run the table they will be the eighth NCAA men’s team to finish undefeated, and the first in 39 years. No team has ever finished 40-0.

From there it's a long, drawn out discussion of perfect NCAA teams, Shank noting that Calipari's suit was 'right out of "Goodfellas"', and that there "may be more NCAA Tournament vacancies in Calipari’s future". No shot too cheap for this columnist.

This Was Not A Difficult Call

Dan Shaughnessy Watch, April 12, 2021:

My final point - you and I know that at some point down the road, say when Calipari steps in some dog crap again, he'll go right back to 'disrespecting' the school. It's tough to teach an old dog new tricks.

Dan Shaughnessy, a few hours ago:

Honoring John Calipari and Marcus Camby with statues is not a good look for UMass

There have been some bad ideas in our New England sports universe in recent years. There was the push for the 2024 Olympic Games, the Red Sox signing of Pablo Sandoval, and the Patriots’ estimation that it was not worth keeping Tom Brady around for another few years.

And now we have folks at the University of Massachusetts — our State U — breathlessly announcing Monday that they are going to “immortalize four basketball legends” with a dedication of statues to Julius Erving, Jack Leaman, Marcus Camby, and John Calipari outside the Mullins Center Sept. 11.

That’s right, ladies and gents. Our State U plans to dedicate statues to Camby and Calipari, two hoop talents who won big, then brought disgrace to UMass when the Minutemen’s 1996 Final Four appearance was vacated because of NCAA violations. UMass was officially erased from Final Four history and ordered to return $151,000 in tournament money.

I'm wondering if John Calipari killed any of Shank's pets, or did the old Kraft Super Bowl Snub on him, but I think the best explanation for the animosity is it's cheap grandstanding at Cal's expense, and that's notable to me because I don't see a lot of evidence of Shank doing the same to Marcus Camby with any regularity.

I'm, more amused by a) the utter predictability of this column and b) some of the Twitter crowd going to town on him:

I cannot imagine thinking something is disgraceful based on the moral standards of the NCAA. Save your outrage for people who actually deserve it, @Dan_Shaughnessy.

BTW, I’m thankful we were spared another Joe Burris & Desmond Tutu reference. 🙄

— Marc Bertrand (@Marc_Bertrand) June 14, 2021

Your employer brought back a field manager who won two championships by cheating to the top. I digress. https://t.co/2p6eNRMUDs

— Boston Radio Watch, Part 2 (@bostonradio2) June 14, 2021

Taking the moral high ground while working for a company where men in their 50’s held an “intern draft” of 19 yr old college girls based on their looks is some real pretzel twisting

— marC (@Zig2K) June 14, 2021

Fight Night

I was watching this very game the other night but wound up flipping channels when the shit hit the fan. Fortunately, Shank's here with a recap of things:

Juwan Howard isn’t the first coach to lose control, but he was definitely out of line

By now you’ve probably seen the video of Michigan basketball coach and former NBAer Juwan Howard getting into a postgame dustup with members of the Wisconsin basketball staff after losing to the Badgers Sunday afternoon. The lowlight of the clip unfolds when the 6-foot-9-inch Howard reaches over a pack of police officers, players, and coaches and slaps Wisconsin assistant Joe Krabbenhoft upside the head.

Wow. Big-time college basketball coaches going at one another after a hard-fought game in February? Never seen anything like it … except for what happened at the Mullins Center in Amherst 28 years ago.

Local sports fans of a certain age certainly remember that one. No actual punches were landed, but those who were there won’t forget hearing enraged Temple coach John Chaney yelling, “I’ll kill you!,” as he charged UMass coach John Calipari.

“You remember that — when I see you, I’m going to kick your ass!,” Chaney hollered as he was restrained by UMass player Mike Williams while Calipari stood at the postgame podium.

Video goodnewss of the Calipari / Chaney interaction can be found here, and read on for more coach on coach dustups!

Ridin' The Shetland Pony

Sunday's Shank Globe column sees Danny Boy riding his high horse to denounce the dishonesty of college coaching, with Lane Kiffin making the jump to USC after one whole year at Tennessee. Shank doesn't like people who have a tangential interest in the process:

"Yahoo towns with nothing else to offer make college football/basketball a local religion with poisonous Booster Clubs...",

"He romances the athletic department, the student population, and the local yahoos (i.e. people who’d buy a book written by Calipari).",

"Losers who catalogue such things (folks who dedicate their lives to ranking 16-year-old offensive linemen) claim Kiffin’s 2010 recruiting class was top-10 material."

Shank also can't stand current Kentucky coach John Calipari, which may have started when Calipari left UMASS - Amherst in the mid 1990's.

Shank has a few kind words for Rick Pitino:

Remember all the lies we got from Pitino when he ran the Celtics? Little Ricky could always make it go away by saying, “That was how I felt at the time.’’

I'd have to see what lies Shank's referring to, but the problem with Pitino was something else. I went to one Pitino-coached Celtics game, and Pitino was yelling at Antoine Walker and Paul Pierce every damn time up & down the court. You can yell like that at college kids, not professional athletes that make double & triple your salary, even accounting for Pitino's hot-shot salary at the time. I was hoping the basketball would somehow wind up in my hands from a bad pass or something, just so I'd have something to throw at Pitino to shut him up.

Guilty Conscience?

Nearly two full days after it happened, Shank gets around to one of the most insincere 'congratulations' columns he's ever written, this one involving the University of Massachusetts - Amherst men's college hockey champions of 2021:

A well-deserved salute to UMass athletics and the recently crowned men’s hockey champs

Congratulations to the University of Massachusetts men’s hockey team, which won the NCAA championship, defeating St. Cloud State, 5-0, Saturday night in the final game of the Frozen Four at PPG Paints Arena in Pittsburgh.

Congrats to coach Greg Carvel, goalie Filip Lindberg, skaters Bobby Trivigno, Anthony Del Gaizo, Zac Jones, Matthew Kessel, Matt Murray, Carson Gicewicz, Jake Gaudet, Oliver Chau, Aaron Bohlinger, Ryan Sullivan, athletic director Ryan Bamford, school president Marty Meehan, chancellor Kumble R. Subbaswamy and all the other players, coaches, trainers, support staff, alums, and fans of UMass hockey.

Hope you're sitting down for this next part:

Before we go any further, let me also apologize to every member of the UMass Amherst community who feels you guys never get enough coverage or credit. Through the years, hundreds of friends and correspondents from UMass have made it clear they regularly feel disrespected by the Boston sports media, particularly the Globe. We (I) have routinely mocked them as Hooterville, embarrassingly beholden to the corrupt regime of John Calipari, and in 2021 obtusely tolerant of a foolish foray into big-time college football.

Not today.

Today we toast all that is good about UMass sports. We salute UMass’s national champions, skaters who are part of a program that won a Division 2 championship in 1972, was disbanded in 1979, and did not resurface until the Mullins Center opened in 1993. Until this weekend, goalie Jonathan Quick was UMass’s greatest contribution to the sport.

What a fucking gutless weasel. Shank has indeed spent many a column over a great length of time trashing John Calipari (and by extension the University) and he attempts to absolve himself with the use of a single letter (I).It's entirely possible Shank has done the majority or all of the 'disrespecting' of that university in his newspaper. For that, I'd need to a) give a shit about other Globies and b) waste time reading them to know for sure.

My final point - you and I know that at some point down the road, say when Calipari steps in some dog crap again, he'll go right back to 'disrespecting' the school. It's tough to teach an old dog new tricks.

UPDATE at 6:05 PM - Opening sentence was clunky, threw in some words to make it clearer.

DHL Dan - XL

Fresh off his dump on John Calipari, Shank keeps the theme going in the first part of his periodic Picked Up Pieces column.

Funny how yesterday it was all Calipari's fault, right?

How college athletes handle opportunity important

Picked-up pieces while waiting to hear that Jane Swift, Vinnie Piro, and Billy Bulger have been hired by Boston 2024 . . .

■ As we wade into conference tournament week and prepare for Selection Sunday, let’s pause to consider the popular notion that NCAA athletes should be paid because they are being exploited by colleges and universities. It’s an easy argument. And it’s certainly true that “revenue” sports at big institutions make bundles of TV money off the labors of “student-athletes,’’ who officially receive nothing more than a free education. But the real exploitation comes when said college “programs” fail to educate student-athletes who will not play professionally. According to the Wall Street Journal, “only about 2 percent of athletic-scholarship recipients are drafted.’’ Every draftee does not enjoy a professional career. Meanwhile, “a bachelor’s degree adds about $1 million to lifetime earnings,’’ according to the Journal. Relative to other students, scholarship athletes are richly rewarded for their efforts. Most of the ballplayers will not play professionally, so it’s up to them (and dare we say, their coaches?) to make sure they take advantage of the quality education that represents a tremendous financial burden for most American families.

And... a once in a blue moon moment:

■ I have given up challenging the Patriots for anything they do in the offseason. They are always ready to go with a younger, cheaper model (Julian Edelman instead of Wes Welker, Ryan Allen instead of Zoltan Mesko) and they are invariably right.

He'll just wait until training camp opens up in August to 'challenge' the Patriots again.

Cal Up in Arms Over UMass Award

This is classic.

The CHB continues blasting the decision by UMass Amherst to honor former men's basketball coach John Calipari and no one cares!

This is not the first time Shank has whined about the pending feting. He made essentially the same argument back in March.

But it's better this time because when The CHB queries UMass president Marty Meehan about the move, the "sports buff and a Massachusetts lifer" completely shoots him down:

In the four months I’ve been on the job as president of the system, I haven’t got one complaint about this from the Amherst campus,’’ said Meehan. “The Amherst campus, the faculty, the dean, the students, they’re not shy. Calipari is very involved with UMass. He’s raised significant money for UMass. He’s contributed to UMass. And we’re a university that needs to get more people to come back and do that.

This is why the joke in j-school is that "dumb sportswriter" is redundant: The CHB has his skirt all tied up in knots over something that no one cared about 20 years ago and is even less (if possible) newsworthy today. It's just sports! It's a kid's game!

Everyone (except, apparently, Shaughnessy) knew Coach Cal was cheating long before the NCAA blew its whistle, and Dapper Dan would have known too, had he not been so busy losing bets and scamming the IRS.

Do you think The CHB feels remorse for asking Tom Werner for a job for his daughter, as has been rumored for years?

Do you believe the Elf on the Shelf is real?

68 Teams, No Harvard?

Shank's weekly CNN / SI column concerns Shank's outrage at Harvard being left out of the Big Dance.

It might amuse you to know that there were folks in Cambridge and greater Boston who actually watched CBS' Selection Show thinking that Harvard had a chance to receive an at-large big to the NCAA tournament.

They had a chance, it just wasn't a huge chance, but Shank writes a solid, spirited column with good points in their defense (Harvard's RPI, their defeats of BC & Colorado). For the most part, I agree with Shank, but the fact that two Ivy League teams have never made the tournament in the same year indicates it's tough to fight history.

Bonus shot in on John Calipari:

There's always going to be room for John Calipari, who has already had two Final Four appearances vacated, but there's no room for Harvard.

Good column, start to finish.

Confidence, Explained

It seems like Shank has a pit bull like grip on this Red Sox sign stealing saga:

How can the Red Sox be so confident MLB’s investigation will end well for them?

Every day there seems to be another Red Sox person or media report expressing confidence that Major League Baseball’s investigation into alleged cheating by the 2018 Sox will not result in significant punishment.

And I’m wondering . . . how can they know this when it’s an ongoing investigation?

Because, of course, expressing confidence in a particular and favorable outcome is different from actual knowledge of a particular outcome. It's fairly similar to a defense team expressing confidence that the jury will find favorably for the defendant. Shank doesn't see that distinction, or he does and just makes an assumption about the Red Sox having said knowledge, maliciously or otherwise.

He then cites comments from Sox management, a quote from Dan Roche (helpfully identified as a former member of the Red Sox broadcast team) and another one from former player Lou Merloni (likewise identified) who all express confidence of a favorable outcome, further heightening Shank's suspicions.

There are other decent parts of the column, which you should consider checking out if you have any interest in this story. And when a cheatin' scandal is the subject, who else to bring up than your old college basketball coaching punching bag, Rick Pitino * John Calipari:

One could have similar suspicions about how John Calipari was treated by the NCAA. Coach Cal got rung up by the NCAA when he was at UMass and again at Memphis (two Final Four appearances vacated). But not at Kentucky. It’s easy to spank UMass and Memphis. But Kentucky is a blue-chip program. A proud part of the NCAA brand. Like the Red Sox in major league baseball. The Astros at this point are not a blue-chip program.

So it seems to be the developing 'conventional wisdom' that Alex Cora's the only guy to suffer serious punishment, and Red Sox brass will get the proverbial slap on the wrist and a couple of weeks of bad press.

And now, for the closing crescendo...

Because I already know none of them will ever return my phone calls, I e-mailed Red Sox ownership Friday afternoon at 1:25 to ask about the organization’s confidence that this investigation will end well for them: “There seems to be a lot of confidence from you guys, J.D. Martinez, Chaim (he told reporters he is comfortable considering 2018 staffers for managerial opening) that the club feels it will be exonerated by MLB investigation into 2018 Sox. Media reports from Rochie and Merloni echo this. 1. Is it accurate to state you are confident there will be no punishments? 2. Have you been told anything by MLB?”

Yeah, I put that first part in there but I had to make an assumption about Shank's relationship with Red Sox ownership and management, much like he did. Isn't writing great?

(* - 1 point deduction for not ragging on Pitino as well)

UPDATE / EDIT AT 11:48 AM - Small spelling error fixed in the Coach Cal section.

It Will Stay Broken

Shank does a column on the current state of college sports:

NIL. Congress. Eligibility. Is the college sports system broken?

It’s a huge week for big-time college sports. We’ve got bowl games every hour, with a national championship at stake. Meanwhile, NCAA basketball repeat violator John Calipari (two Final Four appearances vacated) is delivering lectures about the evils of NIL and the transfer portal. Cal, who has coached for eight NCAA and NBA teams, is shocked, shocked, that college basketball players keep transferring.

The vaunted NCAA — overseer of the once-glorious Pac-10, Big Ten, and Big East — has yielded to a Wild West of “straight cash, homie” and regionally random, power conference monopolies. The system is irreparably broken, yet more popular than ever.

God bless to folks who still love it. I understand the lure of rooting for Old State U, “boola boola” and all that. If you live in a yahoo town with no real professional sports, it’s good to have a legacy college program in your midst. This explains football mania in Columbus, Ohio, State College, Pa., Athens, Ga., and Tuscaloosa, Ala. When March Madness takes hold, it’s the same deal in Lexington, Ky., and Spokane, Wash. All of America loves a nice little 16-seed beating a 1-seed and CBS’s shining moments can make grown men weep.

...

All of which brings me to recent conversations I had with a couple of former Ivy League basketball players: Harvard’s Charlie Baker and Dartmouth’s Peter Roby. They played against one another a half-century ago. Both are tall enough to eat candy off my head. Both graduated in 1979.

Most of you know Baker. He went on to become governor of Massachusetts for eight years, and today he serves as president of the NCAA, a lucrative ($3.15 million per year) yet thankless five-year gig that will take him halfway into 2028.

If you think Charlie Baker's going to fix anything, I have a bridge in Brooklyn to see you. Charlie Baker is the ultimate corporate yes-man who will never, ever rock the boat or come up with any innovative ideas that are his own.

Shank's On The Celtics Bandwagon

With his first column on the Boston Celtics in over three months, Shank pretends to give a rat's ass about the Green Team, who start the NBA playoffs against the Cleveland Cavaliers this afternoon.

CLEVELAND — There are those who think the Boston Celtics have hurt themselves by getting into the playoffs. They think this Quixotic Quest at the Q is nonsense — short-lived gratification at the expense of the long-term health of the franchise.

To you, I say, take a flying leap into Lake Erie.

The Celtics are in the playoffs and we should be loving it. The fact that the Celtics are matched up against the mighty, talent-laden Cavaliers only makes this series more fun.

Seriously. Aren’t you sick of the “rebuilding process,’’ tankapalooza,’’ and that awful image of M.L. Carr, Tommy Heinsohn, or Steve Pagliuca making the frowny face when the 76ers or Cavaliers draw the No. 1 pick in the draft lottery? I am.

I am still bitter...

About a lot of things!

The most amusing part of this story is, after Shank spent many a column and tweet ripping John Calipari and the Kentucky basketball program, to watch him now openly pine for one of their players, Karl-Anthony Towns.

Venting His Spleen

Shank ought to consider changing his picked up pieces columns to the above suggested title. Reverting back to his trademark sniping, nitpicking, self-righteousness and petty vindictiveness, with the occasional positive / nice thing to say about something designed as countermeasures or to drive you crazy, behold his utter disdain for the New England Patriots, whom he promised not to judge a mere fortnight ago:

Picked-up pieces while reading the small print of the NFL’s exempt/commissioner’s permission list, a.k.a. “Double Secret Probation.’’

■ Anybody seen Roger Goodell? Anybody?

■ Those are not booster seats or phone books, folks. Along with the shoulder pads, helmets, and cleats, Bob and Jonathan Kraft’s high chairs are officially part of the Patriots’ traveling entourage.
...
■ Kudos to Eli Manning for standing up and saying something about the scandal-ridden NFL: “We can’t accept that as players, we can’t accept that from our teammates and around the league. Hopefully . . . the NFL can learn from this, and we can go on and start getting back to football . . . We don’t like when the NFL gets a black eye on anything.’’ That’s a lot better than the Jordanesque/Tigeresque “there’s nothing I can do to make a difference” we got from Tom Brady when he was asked about it on WEEI.

As though starting quarterbacks should be the primary spokesman for the team's players and not share Shank's concern on these issues... that started approximately one week ago.

My outrage meter goes to 11!

■ It was cowardly of the NCAA to announce that Penn State’s bowl ban has been lifted in the middle of Ray Rice Week. It was classic “let’s do this while no one is looking,’’ but rest assured, we will have time to slam the shameless NCAA at a later date.

How long should current Penn State players pay for the sins of their forbearers? Any suggestions?

■ Speaking of shameless, Kentucky coach John Calipari has basically come out and admitted that his “college” team is nothing more than a soft landing spot for AAU warriors and their bag men en route to the National Basketball Association. According to Yahoo, Cal will host an invitation-only two-day scouting combine at Kentucky Oct. 11-12. It doubles as a one-time look for NBA scouts and a nifty recruiting tool for Cal.

This wasn't obvious a year or two after he took the job? He's shocked, I tells ya!

Passive / aggressive Shank, anyone?

■ Bill Belichick’s genius is reinforced when we watch Matt Cassel against the Patriots. The Patriots went 11-5 with Cassel as their quarterback in 2008.
...
■ How did Avery Bradley get that contract?

Because Danny Ainge is a better assessor of NBA talent than certain Globe sports columnists?

It's Shetland Pony Time Again

Shank showed up on the Bertrand & Zolak show a few days ago to take his annual dump on Kentucky basketball coach John Calipari.

File this under Slow News Week...

Faking It, By Dan Shaughnessy

Last week, Shank unconvincingly pretended to care for the New England Patriots. This week, he pretends to care about college basketball (with a local angle, naturally).

SPOKANE, Wash. — This is a big bowl of awkward.

Tommy Amaker is set to coach No. 12 seed Harvard against No. 5 seed Cincinnati in the first round of the NCAA Tournament Thursday, and when the Crimson lose their next game, Amaker is gone. He’s Jacoby Ellsbury gone. Harvard’s loss will be Boston College’s gain.

This is not official, mind you. Maybe Amaker can push the Crimson all the way to the Sweet Sixteen this year. Folks at Mr. Bartley’s are hoping Amaker will still be at Harvard next year, and the year after, and the year after that. Maybe he’ll be there long enough to get his own statue in the Yard, alongside John Harvard.

But I’m betting he’s gone as soon as the Crimson lose their next game. The Boston College job opened up Tuesday when BC fired Steve Donahue, and Amaker is the odds-on favorite to be taking his talents to Chestnut Hill.

If Shank feels like stepping up his weekly column output past the single column mark, and he writes a few more columns about college basketball and the NCAA tournament, look for him to turn his firehose towards Kentucky coach John Calipari (who Shank despises) and Louisville coach Rick 'Minuteman' Pitino, who destroyed the Celtics in the 1990's.

DHL Dan CCXXXIX - All Hail The King!

What is this? A Boston Globe writer, jumping on the Trump Train?

If elected King of Sports, here are my Day 1 decrees, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while wondering what the crowd’s going to look like for Monday’s Truck Day festival at Fenway . . .

▪ Pardons and executive orders are all the rage in these early days of 2025. In this spirit, I am here to tell you what I’ll do when elected King of Sports.

On my first day as King of Sports I’ll call the media to my Ovaltine Office — I drink the delicious malt every day — and wave my pen as a ceremonial sword, righting all wrongs and making sports great again.

This revolution of sports common sense no doubt will be controversial, but it’s necessary. We’re going to take our sports back.

Henceforth, I decree:

▪ All postseason baseball games will be played in the afternoon.

▪ From this day forward, there will be only two ways to score points in basketball: Free throws and 2-point field goals. I am eliminating the 3-point shot. End of story.

▪ No more offside in hockey or soccer. Let’s open up these games.

▪ No more analytics departments. The reliance on analytics in sports ends.

▪ No more corruption-ridden “extra time” in soccer. There will be a clock that winds down to 0:00, just like in football, basketball, and hockey.

▪ NFL kickoffs will go back to the good old days when men were men.

▪ The Calipari statue comes down in Amherst.

Is power dangerous in the wrong hands? Just asking!

Dan Nails One

Shank takes U Mass Amherst to task for inviting former coach John Calipari to an event dubbed 'Celebrate UMass Basketball'. You might even say this is an 'excellent and much-needed column', in light of recent events.

Would the state of Illinois invite Rod Blagojevich to a high school government seminar? How ’bout “Jose Canseco Day’’ at the Oakland Coliseum?

Well, I can see both of those things happening. However, the coach bears ultimate responsibility for his program, whether or not the things that make him look sleazy are within his control.

It's a perfect column for Shank, who wastes no time getting up to ramming speed and crashing into the bandwagon.

Is Shank Pretending To Be An NBA Scout?

I couldn't help but think that when I read this article:

The latest case comes from a NBA scout who anonymously commented on several of Kentucky’s basketball players to Sportsnet New York’s Adam Zagoria in the wake of the Wildcats’ 75-73 win over Louisville Saturday, praising point guard Tyler Ulis, offering mixed comments on shooting guard Jamal Murray and calling big man Skal Labissiere a “fraud,” “a ‘Paper Tiger,'” and “a mock draft myth.”

One word here certainly sticks out, doesn't it?

It's not like Shank lacks the motivation to take a shot at coach Calipari. I'm just asking the question!

Who Cares About College Football?

According to Shank, it's not us. Although college football was "practically invented in the northeast", Shank assures us that we are a professional sports town. It's not the first time Shank has expressed such an opinion (I'm unable to locate previous articles stating this sentiment with respect to college football), and Shank also throws in the seeming disinterest in local college basketball and hockey to bolster this argument.

While it may be difficult to actually gauge or quantify levels of interest between college and pro sports in this neck of the woods, Shank provides many examples of the past popularity of college football (roughly dating from 1920 to the Flutie-era BC Eagle football teams) and the more recent dearth of college sports coverage in print and radio. It's likely that shift is attributable in part or in whole to the likes of Yaz, Orr, Bird & Brady. I don't agree with him on the John Calipari era UMass teams, probably because this is where I started following college basketball. While I follow college and pro sports (currently half-watching the Navy - Maryland football game), I think there are more occasions where the pro games (of all types) seem to be bigger events, and perhaps more numerous, than their college counterparts. For example, (end of September - early October) even with the Red Sox out of playoff contention, the Red Sox - Yankees series will always draw like a magnet, or the Patriots playing a division rival. To quote Shank,

That's just the way it goes. We are a professional sports town.

A reasonable statement; I'm just not entirely convinced.