This Was Not A Difficult Call

Dan Shaughnessy Watch, April 12, 2021:

My final point - you and I know that at some point down the road, say when Calipari steps in some dog crap again, he'll go right back to 'disrespecting' the school. It's tough to teach an old dog new tricks.

Dan Shaughnessy, a few hours ago:

Honoring John Calipari and Marcus Camby with statues is not a good look for UMass

There have been some bad ideas in our New England sports universe in recent years. There was the push for the 2024 Olympic Games, the Red Sox signing of Pablo Sandoval, and the Patriots’ estimation that it was not worth keeping Tom Brady around for another few years.

And now we have folks at the University of Massachusetts — our State U — breathlessly announcing Monday that they are going to “immortalize four basketball legends” with a dedication of statues to Julius Erving, Jack Leaman, Marcus Camby, and John Calipari outside the Mullins Center Sept. 11.

That’s right, ladies and gents. Our State U plans to dedicate statues to Camby and Calipari, two hoop talents who won big, then brought disgrace to UMass when the Minutemen’s 1996 Final Four appearance was vacated because of NCAA violations. UMass was officially erased from Final Four history and ordered to return $151,000 in tournament money.

I'm wondering if John Calipari killed any of Shank's pets, or did the old Kraft Super Bowl Snub on him, but I think the best explanation for the animosity is it's cheap grandstanding at Cal's expense, and that's notable to me because I don't see a lot of evidence of Shank doing the same to Marcus Camby with any regularity.

I'm, more amused by a) the utter predictability of this column and b) some of the Twitter crowd going to town on him:

I cannot imagine thinking something is disgraceful based on the moral standards of the NCAA. Save your outrage for people who actually deserve it, @Dan_Shaughnessy.

BTW, I’m thankful we were spared another Joe Burris & Desmond Tutu reference. 🙄

— Marc Bertrand (@Marc_Bertrand) June 14, 2021

Your employer brought back a field manager who won two championships by cheating to the top. I digress. https://t.co/2p6eNRMUDs

— Boston Radio Watch, Part 2 (@bostonradio2) June 14, 2021

Taking the moral high ground while working for a company where men in their 50’s held an “intern draft” of 19 yr old college girls based on their looks is some real pretzel twisting

— marC (@Zig2K) June 14, 2021

Guilty Conscience?

Nearly two full days after it happened, Shank gets around to one of the most insincere 'congratulations' columns he's ever written, this one involving the University of Massachusetts - Amherst men's college hockey champions of 2021:

A well-deserved salute to UMass athletics and the recently crowned men’s hockey champs

Congratulations to the University of Massachusetts men’s hockey team, which won the NCAA championship, defeating St. Cloud State, 5-0, Saturday night in the final game of the Frozen Four at PPG Paints Arena in Pittsburgh.

Congrats to coach Greg Carvel, goalie Filip Lindberg, skaters Bobby Trivigno, Anthony Del Gaizo, Zac Jones, Matthew Kessel, Matt Murray, Carson Gicewicz, Jake Gaudet, Oliver Chau, Aaron Bohlinger, Ryan Sullivan, athletic director Ryan Bamford, school president Marty Meehan, chancellor Kumble R. Subbaswamy and all the other players, coaches, trainers, support staff, alums, and fans of UMass hockey.

Hope you're sitting down for this next part:

Before we go any further, let me also apologize to every member of the UMass Amherst community who feels you guys never get enough coverage or credit. Through the years, hundreds of friends and correspondents from UMass have made it clear they regularly feel disrespected by the Boston sports media, particularly the Globe. We (I) have routinely mocked them as Hooterville, embarrassingly beholden to the corrupt regime of John Calipari, and in 2021 obtusely tolerant of a foolish foray into big-time college football.

Not today.

Today we toast all that is good about UMass sports. We salute UMass’s national champions, skaters who are part of a program that won a Division 2 championship in 1972, was disbanded in 1979, and did not resurface until the Mullins Center opened in 1993. Until this weekend, goalie Jonathan Quick was UMass’s greatest contribution to the sport.

What a fucking gutless weasel. Shank has indeed spent many a column over a great length of time trashing John Calipari (and by extension the University) and he attempts to absolve himself with the use of a single letter (I).It's entirely possible Shank has done the majority or all of the 'disrespecting' of that university in his newspaper. For that, I'd need to a) give a shit about other Globies and b) waste time reading them to know for sure.

My final point - you and I know that at some point down the road, say when Calipari steps in some dog crap again, he'll go right back to 'disrespecting' the school. It's tough to teach an old dog new tricks.

UPDATE at 6:05 PM - Opening sentence was clunky, threw in some words to make it clearer.

UMass Sucks!

At least their football program does, sayeth The Shank:

UMass’s football team, and its brand, are taking a beating

UMass’s football program is an embarrassment. This is not the fault of the student-athletes. It is the fault of the UMass administration and the athletic department. The players are not being put in a position to succeed, and that’s on the grownups and the citizens of Massachusetts who are letting this happen.

Simply put, the Minutemen should not be playing big-time college football. They lose by whopping scores. UMass is 1-9. Here are the scores of the Minutemen’s last five games:

Florida International 44, UMass 0.

Louisiana Tech 69, UMass 21.

UConn 56, UMass 35.

Liberty 63, UMass 21.

Army 63, UMass 7.

At least he's consistent with his purported desire for better collegiate competition.

Pig-Headed Skin

Opinions are like assholes: Everyone has one, and they all stink.

Which is why "sports columnist" is the appropriate occupation for one Dan Shaughnessy. He has lots of opinions, and they all stink.

Here he's criticizing the decision for UMass to move to D-1 football. "It’s the worst idea since Bobby Valentine was hired to manage the Red Sox," Shank says. Of course, when that hiring happened, The CHB actually welcomed the move.

Now, pay attention, because Shaughnessy hasn't been.

1.  UMass has had two rotten seasons since moving to D-1. That's the curve for every program that moves up. Some eventually make the jump, some don't. But they do it because ...
2. ... The money available to D-1 schools is far and away better than what they can generate at the lower levels.
3. Being in the Football Championship Subdivision (FCS) conference doesn't guarantee you success. Look no further than Georgetown (which Shank did, since he claims he was at their season-ender at Holy Cross). They've had one winning season in the past 14, and are about to kill their program.
4. Shaughnessy says, "Folks here simply don’t have an appetite for big-time college football." Perhaps The CHB should pop in a bar anywhere in Boston on a fall Saturday. Oh wait, that could never happen. College games take place in the afternoon, when he's still sleeping off the previous night's binge.

The fact is, Shaughnessy has no business writing about college sports, especially college football. He doesn't follow it. He doesn't know it. He doesn't care about it. It's high time he left it to the experts and went back to doing what he does best: bad-mouthing minorities.