And Now For Some Print Media Bashing

Shank's former employer for one year (2010 - 2011), Sports Illustrated, has announced the sacking of half of its staff:

Things at Sports Illustrated are getting ugly.

Thursday has been a tumultuous day at the company, starting with initial layoff meetings earlier this morning postponed minutes before they were supposed to begin. Hours later, SI’s staff put out a statement of support for each other and against any potential layoffs at the company. Shortly after that statement was released, the layoffs began.

Shank, of course, was himself shown the door by Sports Illustrated back in October / November 2011 when it became obvious that he started mailing in columns and rehashing his Globe columns into CNN / SI columns halfway through that one year stretch.

Dirty Laundry 2.0

Now that the season is more or less over for the 2012 Boston Red Sox, Shank wants to assign some, most or all of the blame on Theo Epstein.

ANAHEIM, Calif. — The Red Sox owners are here, and they’re having a hard time keeping the smiles off their faces after what they did to the Dodgers last weekend.

It’s hard not to gloat when you dump more than a quarter of a billion dollars in payroll on the Los Angeles Dodgers. The Dodgers, by the way, are 2-3 since the trade was announced, including a 10-0 beating (Josh Beckett’s start) at the hands of the last-place Rockies. Los Angeles Times columnist T. J. Simers wrote, “They appear lifeless and uninspired in three consecutive losses to the dead meat likes of the Marlins and Rockies.’’
...

But enough about the Sox snookering the Dodgers. John Henry, Tom Werner, and Larry Lucchino are still angry. And I think I know why. It really bothers them that Theo Epstein isn’t getting enough blame for the train wreck that is the Red Sox of the last 12 months.

Since Shank owes Tom Werner for helping to get his daugher an intership six years ago, he'll gladly go to bat for ownership. The representative from Massachusetts now has the floor!

Epstein made a ton of bad moves in the later years of his tenure, then went to Chicago for a $19 million contract and watched from afar as the Sox decomposed. John, Tom, and Larry would like to remind you of this.

So I will do it for them.

Mistakes were made. Money was spent badly. The Sox lost their way and tried to throw money at their problems.

Remember who one of the advocates of higher spending was?

They dished out millions for Johnny Damon, Keith Foulke, Daisuke Matsuzaka and J.D. Drew. They raided rosters of the Have Nots. Now they are complaining about Yankee payroll?

It's absurd. Epstein, like Brian Cashman, can afford to make mistakes. Edgar Renteria and Julio Lugo are examples A and B of Theo's biggest blunders. This year the Sox will pay $18 million to have Lugo and Mike Lowell (trade pending with the Rangers) play for other teams.

Epstein is touting organization prospects named Jose Iglesias, Ryan Kalish, Ryan Westmorland, Casey Kelly and Lars Anderson, but they are a couple of years away. In Boston the message needs to be "win now.''

And that means "Beat the Yankees.''

Of course, you're not fool enough to think Shank did the heavy lifting to make the compelling argument against Theo Epstein, are you?

That’s why it must have felt good this week when the owners read a carve job on Epstein, penned by Tom Van Riper at Forbes. Van Riper said Epstein, “has to go down as the decade’s most overrated baseball executive.’’ The piece said Dan Duquette built the core of the Sox 2004 championship team and that Epstein won the World Series by “tinkering with Duquette’s blueprint.’’

These aren't exactly news flashes to us, but read on to marvel / laugh at Shank's transparent attempt to look fair and impartial.

Is Shank Done At CNN / SI?

No CNN / SI posts from Shank in seven weeks. I'd like to think they got sick of him reusing Boston Globe columns. Since I can't find squat on any public details, we'll do what Shank does so well - rely on rumors and innuendo!

Side Order Of Rehash

As with Terry Francona's last week with the Red Sox, Shank's days as a CNN / SI columnist must also be numbered. This is the second time in as many columns that he has 'sampled' large parts of a Boston Globe column and passed it off as a CNN / SI column.

In order to avoid becoming ther next Ron Borges, you'd think he'd insert some boilerplate language at the end of his column to protect himself - "Large parts of this column have already been written by me yesterday. The CNN / SI editors can't catch everything, and it's OK to steal from yourself, right?"

Boston Globe column, October 1, 2011:

Terry Francona was fired yesterday. The longtime manager and the Red Sox brass used a lot of polite words and tried to make it sound mutual, but Francona turns out to be the first victim of the greatest collapse in baseball history.

On a bizarre and historic Friday at Fenway, the Sox and Francona generated more spin than the Harlem Globetrotters.

Francona blamed himself, worked hard to stay on message, but late in his goodbye press session, he veered off the rails and threw John Henry under the team charter.

“To be honest with you, I’m not sure how much support there was from ownership,’’ Francona offered. “You’ve got to be all-in on this job. It’s got to be everybody together, and I was questioning that a little bit.’’

CNN / SI column, October 2, 2011:

Two days after the apocalyptic ending, manager Terry Francona became the first victim of the carnage, fired by management.

The Sox bosses used a lot of nice words when they cut the manager loose. They said it was Terry's idea to leave. They thanked him for his service. They said it was a mutual parting of ways.

But the man was fired. He managed all season without a contract for 2012. The club never exercised its option to bring him back next year, not even when the Sox went 39 games over .500 for a four-month stretch. They let him dangle all season, and the sloppy finish made it easy to send Francona packing.

Quite possibly the greatest manager in Red Sox history, Francona fell on his sword Friday, citing, "my inability to effectively reach the players ... out of my enormous respect for this organization and the people in it (I told them) they may need to find a different voice to lead the team.''

Unfortunately for Sox management, Francona went off message toward the end of his farewell presser, saying, "To be honest with you, I'm not sure how much support there was from ownership. You've got to be all-in on this job. It's got to be everybody together, and I was questioning that a little bit.''

Sheer coincidence, or another Shank hack job? You make the call!

Carry That Weight - II(a)

With all the excitement of Hurricane Irene now past us, I stumbled upon Shank's latest CNN / SI offering. If you've read his August 15th Globe column on Wakefield, then you've already read the CNN / SI column.

Recycling is environmentally friendly!

The End Of An Era?

No, I'm not talking about Randy Moss' retirement, although I think that's the strong horse candidate for his next Globe hit piece column.

I'm talking about the lack of recent CNN / SI columns. I couldn't find any rumors / scuttlebutt through a Google search, but truth be told, in Shank-like fashion, I didn't exactly search long and hard for it!

From early November 2009 to mid-July of this year, Shank had a CNN / SI column every Monday, and two (!) on April 19, 2010, when Shank proudly yanked his meat waxed ecstatic about how awesome a sports city Boston is. Maybe with the recent "Shank, thou shalt tweet" order from on high in the Globe management structure, he can't do that gig anymore. Which is too bad, as his CNN / SI articles are far superior to his Globe columns. That, and if this Twitter page is for real, Shank tweeting is laughably banal and insipid, much like, well, you know...

A Winning Combination

With this week's CNN / SI column, Shank combines his two favorite things - baseball and himself.

Football and basketball are still locked out. The Women's World Cup, the British Open and Nathan's Hog Dog Eating Contest have all come and gone. The Roger Clemens trial was over before it started.

All we have is baseball. God bless the summer game.

Well, there is a bike race going on in France...

How many of you remember playing summer baseball? Who remembers when your next baseball game was the only thing that mattered?

Growing up in Central Massachusetts, I played all the traditional programs of pre-college baseball -- Little League, Pony League, Babe Ruth and high school. Little League and high school ball were highly structured and the season was always over by early June. Pony League and Babe Ruth were different. There was less structure, fewer rules; not as many coaches and parents getting in the way of our fun. We played when it was hot outside. Summer ball was always the most fun.

A nice piece of youthful nostalgia, or self-indulgent baby boomer claptrap? You make the call!

I Heart Vancouver

Shank's weekly CNN / SI column shows a newfound love affair with Vancouver:

VANCOUVER, B.C. -- This beautiful city deserves a Stanley Cup and it certainly feels like the chalice will be delivered sometime soon.

I just spent five days in Vancouver last week and it's hard to carry a grudge against the city and it's great fans.

Go Canucks?

Shank On The NBA Finals

Shank's weekly CNN / SI column focuses on Dirk Nowitzki and LeBron James, who start the NBA Finals tonight. Well trodden ground is covered; one of these players needs a ring to vaunt themselves into discussions of the greatest players of all time. And Shank manages to do this without a reference to baseball players. Amazing!

Talent In South Beach

Shank's weekly CNN / SI column focuses on Dwayne Wade's awesome game against the Celtics yesterday. It's another solid column that, once again, stands out in contrast to many half-assed Globe columns.

Shank's Manny Ramirez column

Manny Ramirez retires from baseball rather than get hit with a one hundred game suspension for testing positive for an unspecified drug. A couple of commenters asked, 'Where's the Shank column ripping Manny?' Wonder no more.

Manny cared about serving Manny, making money and nothing else

Manny Ramirez is a cheater. He's a disgrace. He's not going to the Hall of Fame. And you know what else? Manny doesn't care.

So why should fans care?

Manny's not an evil person. He was a guy who'd come to the park early, whistle while he worked then go off into the night after the games. He stayed to himself and most of the time you hardly knew he was around. He usually had a hug for everyone but never had a lot of friends in the clubhouse.

Shank's just getting warmed up; read the whole thing. One of Shank's better columns in recent memory.

A few interesting side notes:

He was a latter-day, juiced-up Jimmie Foxx.

Shank, August 26, 2006:

As previously stated, he is a modern-day Jimmie Foxx, a certain Hall of Famer, and he works hard at his craft.

Just thought it interesting that Shank has some level of consistency in comparing Manny to Foxx.

He was Most Valuable Player of the 2004 World Series when the Red Sox put a 86-year-old Curse to rest.

A Curse, exploited by Shank for fun and profit! You'll find the book reviews especially amusing.

But really, what's a Shank column on Manny without a few cheap shots?

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Manny was a savant slugger. His simple mind made it easier to hit.

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Ever-clueless, he could be funny and charming.

Shank Goes Provincial

Not exactly a stretch for Shank, but he latches onto UConn's Jim Calhoun as the Huskies make another Final Four appearance. I can picture Shank doing Kevin Garnett-like chest thumps when he's laying this out on the keyboard:

But Jim Calhoun belongs to Boston. And we take some pride when one of our guys keeps showing up in the Final Four.

Calhoun was born and raised in Braintree, Mass., just a few miles south of Boston. He was a three sport star at Braintree High, home of the Wamps. He earned a degree in sociology at American International College in Springfield. That's fitting because basketball was invented in Springfield and Springfield is home of the Basketball Hall of Fame, where Calhoun was enshrined in 2005.

Calhoun's first coaching job was at AIC. In 1971-72 he was back in the Bay State League, coaching against the Braintree Wamps for Dedham High. Then it was on to Northeastern University on Huntington Avenue in Boston.

Perhaps a bit over the top, but Shank does indeed like Calhoun, which ran counter to my initial reaction to this column, that Shank was just shamelessly jumping on yet another bandwagon...

Reversal Of Fortune

Shankologists may remember the special venom directed at Nomar Garciaparra and Curt Schilling (too many to mention) by the Shankster over the years. Since both of them became ESPN analysts last year, there hasn't been much written by Shank on either, excluding that Globe column on Garciaparra.

Maybe Shank has turned the corner on the professional athlete thing?

Dwight Freeney interviewed me last month. He asked me about Peyton Manning vs. Tom Brady, Bob Sanders, and who I liked in Major League Baseball this year.

I am not making this up.

More and more, athletes are getting into the media business. Most guys do it when their playing days are over. In 2011 some of them go to the dark side while they are still playing. No doubt they are getting ready for a work stoppage or the next career after retirement from the playing field.

...

I never thought stuff like this was going to happen when I got into the sportswriting game. There was a clear separation. We were newspaper guys and they were players. There was little crossover. We didn't have a lot of opportunities to appear on television or radio. And players didn't entertain the idea of joining the media.

"This ain't what I signed up for, damn it!"

There's also a mention of a local angle:

Celtics legend Cedric Maxwell is a commentator on the C's flagship radio station. Maxwell did not speak to the media for one entire season when I covered the Celtics, but now he occasionally asks me a question.

Lest we wonder why, one reason Cedric Maxwlll might have told Shank to piss off:

“You could not print all the things we said,’’ said Cedric Maxwell, Ainge’s teammate from the 1980s and a Hall of Fame trash talker. “You could not write it all down. The families. The moms. Didn’t make any difference. We didn’t have to be politically correct. We could be asinine.

“I remember one guy, before the start of a playoff series, saying, ‘No way that bitch is getting 40 points off of me.’ Somebody wrote that down and it actually got in the paper.’’

I know. Because Max said it about Bernard King, and I (Shank - ed.) wrote it down, and it appeared in the Sunday Globe on the day of the first game of the 1984 Eastern Conference semifinals between the Celtics and Knicks. King refused to shake Max’s hand before the game. King didn’t get his 40 until Game 3, but the Celtics won the series.

68 Teams, No Harvard?

Shank's weekly CNN / SI column concerns Shank's outrage at Harvard being left out of the Big Dance.

It might amuse you to know that there were folks in Cambridge and greater Boston who actually watched CBS' Selection Show thinking that Harvard had a chance to receive an at-large big to the NCAA tournament.

They had a chance, it just wasn't a huge chance, but Shank writes a solid, spirited column with good points in their defense (Harvard's RPI, their defeats of BC & Colorado). For the most part, I agree with Shank, but the fact that two Ivy League teams have never made the tournament in the same year indicates it's tough to fight history.

Bonus shot in on John Calipari:

There's always going to be room for John Calipari, who has already had two Final Four appearances vacated, but there's no room for Harvard.

Good column, start to finish.

Shank On Celtics / Lakers

Shank's weekly CNN / SI column reviews yesterday's Celtics win over the Lakers. Shank's back on the bandwagon, folks!

Two Papers In One - III

Shank's CNN / SI column looks a lot like yesterday's column, doesn't it? Take out the Belichick bashing, add in a few paragraphs quoting Rex Ryan, and voila!

How long before the CNN / SI editors catch onto Shank's act?

Awful

That's Drew Magary's take on Shank's CNN / SI effort on Monday, when Shank called for cancelling further Winter Classic hockey games. The usual complaints about Shank are there - lazy + provincial + unthinking = awful. I'll call that Shank's Theory of Relativity. Not exactly as earth shattering as E = MC², but at least we have a working definition.

Having read (or not read) these columns for the better part of two decades, I just can't get worked up over a bad Shank column anymore. Maybe it takes a special kind of terrible column for this to happen, or maybe I just look at a column and can't be bothered to make the determination if this is a standard Shank column, a mail-it-in type, or the execrable type, as Drew mentions here. It's kind of like when I'm on the Red Line, and on the rare occasion get to sit down in a seat. I don't like sitting directly next to someone; I'll sit only if I have an open seat on both sides. Most of the time someone will go for one of those open seats, and 98% of the time I just get up and move. I don't want to make the split-second determination if this person has a fat enough ass that it plops over into my seat. I just say 'to hell with it' and bail out before it happens.

Other theories are welcome in the comments.

Retired?

Shank's opinion of the hockey Winter Classic - retire it. After acknowledging the first three as successes, weather conditions conspired to make the fourth Classic (in Pittsburgh) a comparative dud, most notably with Ovechkin falling down on an attempted slapshot.

While there's some merit in his argument, it strikes me as typical Shank - bail out at the first sign of trouble. His notion of ending the Winter Classic runs counter to this sentence:

If it's cold enough, I would be OK with any outdoor game in Detroit, Montreal or Toronto. Yankee Stadium might even work.

Average temperatures in these cities at this point in the year are 33, 23, 28 and 37 degrees Fahrenheit, respectively. So why not try some / all of these next venues, then decide if it's worthwhile? Probably because this column needs to take some definitive position, and Shank takes the easy, and negative, out.

Still On The Bandwagon

Shank summarizes yesterday's beatdown of the Bills in today's Globe column. It's a decent column, but it's hard to escape the notion that Shank has no editors when you read the following:

While snow fell back home at Gillette Stadium, the Patriots put down the Bills, 34-3, at (makes you want to) Ralph Wilson Stadium, clinching the AFC East title for the eighth time in 10 seasons.

Stay classy!

Shank's CNN / SI column has him making a bunch of predictions, one of them absurd:

The New England Patriots think they are going to win the Super Bowl...

While there's the possibility he has inside information, I don't recall any member of the Patriots actually saying something like this in public this year, or this is just Shank making shit up & stirring the pot once again.

A Tale Of Two Columns

Compare and contrast - a pretty good CNN / SI article, and an average effort at the Boston Globe. At least in the CNN / SI article, he admits having an editor, but that's about all to note for either column.