Swing And A Miss

I missed this column from Monday, and it's a gem. We're a Springsteen quote, a 'Sons of Tito' mention and a cheap shot at Bill Belichick away from this being the ultimate signature Shaughnessy column.

Sarcasm? Check:

The Redemption Tour comes home Monday afternoon and the “Please Don’t Hate Us” Red Sox are in sole possession of first place for the first time since Sept. 1, 2011.

Pretend that you weren't licking the previous manager's balls? Check:

It’s a good day to feel good about the Sox again. They have delivered on their promises to play hard and be more likable. They’ve vetted clubhouse poisons and assembled a unit of worthy veterans and wide-eyed kids. They are managed by a true professional, and ownership hasn’t insulted the fan base in several months. They have new-millennium gold dust twins Jose Iglesias (.529 average) and Jackie Bradley Jr., and sophomore Will Middlebrooks, who hit three home runs in Sunday’s 13-0 rout of the division-favorite Blue Jays.

Dump on Red Sox management? Check:

“Make no mistake,’’ Sox CEO Larry Lucchino wrote to fans in a spring training welcome letter (Lucchino specializes in letters to fans), “with a 69-win season in our rearview mirror, the challenge to beat back the skeptics and re-assert ourselves is an invigorating one for all of us.’’

Gratuitous acknowledgement of the team's performance so far this year? Check:

The 2013 Sox have blasted from the starter’s gate with four wins in six games in New York and Toronto. They hit a whopping six homers in the Rogers Centre Sunday and at 2:05 p.m. Monday play the Baltimore Orioles in the 113th franchise home opener.

Whine about a mild New England winter, having spent about a month of it in Florida? Check:

It doesn’t take much to rekindle the passion of New England baseball fans. Red Sox Nation wants players who hustle and appear hungry; players who pull for one another and don’t complain about travel, snitches, or scoring decisions. After all the snow and cold of the wicked winter of 2012-13, most New England baseball fans are thrilled just to think about being warm outside again.

Continue to run players out of town months after you've finished the job? Check:

The Sox haven’t been home since Bobby Valentine’s 2012 wretches slinked out of town under the cover of darkness late last September (that was the night Bobby V said, “I think I would have kept the beer in the clubhouse. I could have used it after a few of these games”). Bobby’s trainwreck Townies staggered to the worst Boston baseball season in 47 years (69-93, 26 games out of first place), which triggered the overdue overhaul.

Take a dump on ownership and piss on general manager Larry Lucchino again for the old 1 - 2 combo? Check:

Positioning themselves as “scrappy underdogs” (another Lucchino beauty), the $154 million payroll Red Sox launched their 2013 campaign with an 8-2 victory in Yankee Stadium one week ago. After starts of 0-6 (2011) and 1-5 (2012), the Sox come home with a 4-2 record, winning their first two series for the first time since 2006 — when everybody loved the Red Sox and the “new” owners.

The local landscape is very different now.

Presumably because of all the snow melting from the brutal New England winter...

Hype the new manager so Shank can help write his memoirs once he gets shitcanned? Big freakin' check!

Mindful of an angry fan base, the Sox spent the winter/spring apologizing to fans and asking forgiveness in the form of two-for-one hot dogs and reduced beer prices in April. They issued offseason slogans of “What’s Broken Can Be Fixed’’ and “162 Chances to Restore The Faith.’’ New manager John (Wayne) Farrell was summoned to clean up the Valentine mess and told fans, “It’s a whole new ballgame,’’ in a NESN spot that paints the 2013 team as “workmanlike” and “professional.’’

The last words go to The Duke:

“We had a tremendous spring training,’’ Farrell said after Sunday’s rout. “To go through New York and Toronto is a good start. We’re going to give effort and energy every time we walk on the field. We’re going to play with an intensity that should work in our favor. We’re looking forward to going home and getting before our home crowd. Hopefully, these six games will energize the fans even more than they normally would be.’’

Saddle up!

A Lackey Lackey

The only memorable line in an otherwise straightforward column on Shank's pick for the third starter in the Division Series (that won't start for two months).

Sorry, but I’m a Lackey lackey. Granted, he was downright horrible at the start of this season. He’s got a ridiculous 6.23 ERA. But have faith. Mike Scioscia did. Lackey won the seventh game of the World Series for the Angels when he was a rookie in 2002. Lackey’s ERA in seven ALDS games is 2.40. His career ERA in four ALCS games is 3.70.

It's interesting to note Shank's attitude towards newly acquired pitcher Erik Bedard:

We’re all anxiously awaiting Bedard’s first words to the Boston media (kind of like Albert Haynesworth, minus the rap sheet). Without setting foot in town, Bedard has been portrayed as a guy with the big-game toughness of Matt Young and the disposition of Sean Penn. Maybe he can bring Nomar’s red “line of death’’ back to the Sox clubhouse.

It’s a bit much, actually. Bedard might be the first player run out of town before he gets to town. Even police-blotter Haynesworth didn’t get crushed like this before he joined the team.

And who would know best about running a player out of town than our resident fifth degree black belt in the art, Shank Shaughnessy?

UPDATE, at 8:45 PM - Gerry Callahan does the research on Erik Bedard Shank can't / won't.

The One Where Shank Starts To Turn On David Price?

Shank's been pretty supportive of Red Sox pitcher David Price ever since the Sox signed him three and a half years ago. That appears to be changing.

Fellow Boston Globe baseball reporter Chad Finn is doing a story on former MLB ace and current NESN announcer Dennis Eckersley and the 2017 'feud' between Eckersley and Price has now become the focal point, at least for some people around here:

I mean David Price won a World Series here and Eck did not, so I guess the fans can rally around him now in this weird feud. Here he basically implies nobody likes Eck past or present, but he has lots of friends that will say nice things about him after he retires. Cool, I guess https://t.co/2RbtS4MD2q

— Matt Dolloff (@mattdolloff) July 17, 2019

I interviewed people for the story and didn't use anything they said because there was so much universal praise for him that it got redundant. Jim Rice loves him. Remy. Buddy Bell. He's a son to La Russa. Scott Sanderson, who recently passed away, loved him On and on ... https://t.co/HuyMbB8QCN

— Chad Finn (@GlobeChadFinn) July 17, 2019

Further, the MLB doc included interviews with ex-teammates Ron Darling, Bruce Hurst, Mark (And I'm Mark) McGwire, Ray Fosse, and Fred Lynn, among others. https://t.co/13Gx5VDl8G

— Chad Finn (@GlobeChadFinn) July 17, 2019

Naturally, Shank has to weigh in with a tweet that demonstrates a lack of self-awareness:

David Price thinks he holds the cards. Then why be such a jackass? https://t.co/vY7eeFsdDn

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) July 17, 2019

There are plenty of things that Shank's written about over the years that make him look like a jackass, so let's savor that irony for now. Further down the road, if the Red Sox can't land a playoff spot and Price winds up pitching poorly, expect Shank's criticism of Price to reach the point where he'll become the next Red Sox player to be run out of town by His Shankness.

UPDATE AT 5:40 PM - Sure looks like Shank's setting the table to eventually run David Price out of town when the time is right:

Just spoke with Bruce Cornblatt, sr. producer of MLB Eck Doc. Said, "I came away feeling Eck's teammates all loved him. We got 100 % cooperation from those we asked. Hurst, Fosse, Darling, McGwire, Lynn, Remy.We didn't ask many. By design. This was supposed to be Eck on Eck.''

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) July 17, 2019

Re-establishing that Price doesn’t know what he’s talking about https://t.co/H950NZa8RZ

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) July 17, 2019

Team Redemption?

I find Dan Shaughnessy annoying nearly all the time and at other times duplicitous and mendacious; that is not exactly a news flash to regular readers of this site. What really pisses me off is his repeated attempts at rewriting history, like no one will notice (like he was able to do before the ascent of the internet) when he tries to airbrush his own past handiwork / bashing of athletes when good things happen in the present. No finer example of this can be presented than yesterday's win by the Red Sox over the Tigers in an absolute pitching gem (emphasis mine):

DETROIT — John Lackey is the poster boy for Team Redemption.

Nobody was more loathed coming into this season.

Not even the 'Texas Tough Guy', Josh Beckett?

Lackey got blamed for chicken and beer. He got blamed for Theo Epstein’s bloated payroll. He was blamed for the collapse of 2011. He snarled at the media on that night in New York, asking who called his cellphone. Fans wanted him out of town ASAP. Folks didn’t like the way Lackey showed up his fielders and his manager. Nobody liked the results. In 2011, Lackey had the worst season (6.41 ERA) of any Sox starter in history.

I will point out for the umpteenth time this use of the passive voice by Shaughnessy, a favorite rhetorical device used by douchebag columnists to deflect blame and accountability from themselves by the things they wrote in previous columns, betting that you don't remember any of it. He is nothing short of pure chickenshit when he tries to deploy this subterfuge in a pathetically weak attempt to deflect blame from himself when he was one of the critics right out of the blocks on John Lackey:

Your turn, Josh Beckett. You, too, John Lackey. Time for the rest of the beer-swillin’, biscuit-eatin’, fried-chicken munchin’ Red Sox starting pitchers to fess up.

The 1919 Chicago White Sox had Eight Men Out. The 2011 Red Sox have Three Men and a Bucket of Popeye’s.

The Red Sox hideous off season of 2011 continues, and today we had more truth set free when Jon Lester returned a phone call from the Globe’s Pete Abraham and confirmed information which until now has been only a “sourced report’’: instead of staying on the bench pulling for their struggling teammates, Red Sox starting pitchers were back in the clubhouse drinking beer and diving into the 16-piece family meal ($31.99, includes three large sides and eight biscuits) during the 2011 season.

Then, once Lackey was on the disabled list after Tommy John surgery, it was no longer necessary for the self-righteous columnist to continue his barrage on Lackey, since he was no longer in the news. The damage was done; mission accomplished.

After Lackey beats Justin Verlander in an epic pitching duel? We're good, right?

Now everything has changed, and Tuesday at Comerica Park, Lackey had his finest hour in a Boston uniform. He beat the Detroit Tigers, 1-0, in Game 3 of the American League Championship Series. He outpitched Justin Verlander, a former Cy Young Award winner and Most Valuable Player. Lackey allowed four hits and zero walks, fanning eight before he was lifted (against his will) by manager John Farrell with two out and one aboard in the seventh.

“It was awesome, for sure,’’ said the Gomer Pyle soundalike. “I knew I was going to have to pitch pretty good today.’’
...
All the themes have changed for Lackey. Now he is viewed as a great teammate who takes care of the clubhouse workers and the rest of the “little people” around Fenway. His teammates love hanging with him. He has an unsurpassed work ethic and has lost more weight than Lenny Clarke. Despite getting little run support, he pitched very well throughout the magical 2013 season.

Unbelievable - John Lackey pitches one of the best games of his life and Shank still feels the need to further disparage and take a steaming shit on the guy. He is beneath contempt.

Other than that, I liked the column.

DHL Dan LX - David Price Update, Etc.

I'm wondering why Shank is going out of his way to stay positive with his coverage of David Price. Normally this would be the stage in the relationship with the player when Shank's trashing him, just before the one or two 'run him out of town' columns.

Picked-up pieces while wondering how things will end for the 2017 Indians and Dodgers . . .

■ So now the Red Sox are paying David Price $217 million to be Heath Hembree?

The Sox activated Price Thursday, and manager John Farrell announced that the sour southpaw will work out of the bullpen for the rest of this year. I hate this.

I'd rather he not reinjure his elbow. Price in the bullpen will insure he won't be throwing 100 pitches in a given day. This is logical. How Shank thinks otherwise is baffling.

Perhaps it’s rational given Price’s recovery from elbow woes and his potential value as a lefthanded power arm out of the pen. But I still hate it because it’s letting Price off the hook too easily.

As much as it might be dangerous for the Sox, I wanted to see Price get the ball for a playoff start in 2017 (with double-barrel action in the Boston bullpen during the anthem). It’s my thirst for great sports theater.

That, and pints at The Fours.

He still hates the Red Sox, in case you're still wondering:

■ Kudos to the New York Post for placing an asterisk next to “Boston” in its daily American League standings. Below the standings, the asterisk denotes, “Caught stealing.’’

When the Sox got caught cheating, how come nobody made the connection to “Damn Yankees”? The name of the devil in the famed Faustian show/movie is “Applegate.’’

One of my favorite readers reminds us, “You can’t hold a whole baseball team responsible for the behavior of a few sick, perverted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn’t we blame the whole major league system . . . ?’’

Shank realizes the movie 'Animal House' is almost forty years old, right?

He still hates the Patriots:

■ Hate to rub it in, but the New York Football Giants will salute their 2007 Super Bowl champs when they play their home opener in the Meadowlands Monday night against the Lions. Eli Manning and Zak DeOssie are the only players left from that squad. David Tyree currently works for the Giants as director of player development.

...and Federal judge Richard Berman, of Deflategate 'fame':

■ When it comes to the Yankees, Judge Sonia Sotomayor makes Fanboy Richard Berman look neutral. The Supreme Court justice donned a robe and sat in the “Judge’s Chambers” in right field (named for Aaron Judge) when the Red Sox visited New York last month. She cheered madly for her Yankees.

But that's different!

Out Nitwitted

First he takes credit for running them out of town. Then he criticizes their deportations.

So which is it, Shank?

The pending World Series matchup, writes The CHB, is an "emotional duel of guys who were dumped by the Red Sox, or quit the Red Sox."

As you might have guessed, it's a really stupid column.

But first, a shot at the 2016 Red Sox, which despite their 93 wins, were overrated, he argues, because they lost "the majority of their close games."

It's true that the Red Sox were 20-24 in one-run games in 2016. But guess who else was under .500 in one-run games? The Cubs (22-23). And guess who had the best record in the AL East in one-run games? The Yankees (24-12), who finished 9 games back of the Sox. And guess who had the majors' best record in one-run games? The Rangers (36-11), who are sitting home right now too.

It's a specious argument. But then again, The CHB is a specious guy.

The CHB's breakdown of the players who the Sox traded away is equal parts laughable and fallacy. Mike Napoli? Coco Crisp? No one wanted these guys.

Not even Shank, who on Jul. 8, 2015, said: "I would cut Napoli, just let him go." That was a few years after he blasted the Sox for keeping Crisp and letting Johnny Damon walk.

Andrew Miller was a stud, but the Sox picked up a stud lefty starter in return. Don't take my word for it: Shank said so here: "Eduardo Rodriguez has a chance to become Dan Duquette’s Jeff Bagwell."

And just one month ago he said he thought Rodriguez should be the third starter in the playoffs for the Red Sox.

Then there's Theo Epstein, of whom Shaughnessy said his "slow rebuilding style would not have worked in Boston the way it has in Chicago. ... Theo on a six-year plan with a $19 million contract, that's pretty easy to do that. I'm going to sat Boston wouldn't tolerate what Chicago went through to get here."

And in another column, this one for SI, from Dec. 14, 2009: "Epstein is touting organization prospects named Jose Iglesias, Ryan Kalish, Ryan Westmorland, Casey Kelly and Lars Anderson, but they are a couple of years away. In Boston the message needs to be 'win now.'"

In fact, he wrote in August 2012 that Theo deserved more blame for the state of the Red Sox than he's getting. "Epstein made a ton of bad moves in the later years of his tenure, then went to Chicago for a $19 million contract and watched from afar as the Sox decomposed. ...  Mistakes were made. Money was spent badly. The Sox lost their way and tried to throw money at their problems."

As for the others:

• Adrian Gonzalez is "the Kryptonite of winning baseball teams. He’s the Cooler." 
• "(John) Lackey has simply got to go. He’s coming off the worst season by a starting pitcher in more than a century of Red Sox baseball, and he’s regularly shown up his teammates and his manager." 
• Jon Lester was a disloyal ingrate who threw manager Terry Francona under the bus and was a key part on "the most loathed Boston team in history."
• And as for that David Price signing: "The Sox have wisely junked their phony, “We don’t need an ace” philosophy and signed the best free agent pitcher. Not afraid to admit they were wrong, the Sox on Tuesday agreed to a deal with 30-year-old lefthanded starter David Price on a seven-year, $217 million contact. Nitwits and analytic overthinkers will immediately fret about how the Sox will not be getting commensurate value three, four, or five years from now."

Who's the nitwit now? Shank, to thine own self be true.

The Prince Of Darkness

Move over, Ozzy Osbourne - there's a new Lucifer in town:

You could use plenty of choice words to describe the Red Sox after they dropped three out of four to the Royals over the weekend.

But the Boston Globe's Dan Shaughnessy, speaking on Sports Sunday with Damon Amendolara, has his word: fragile.

"I am the prince of darkness with these guys right now," Shaughnessy said of the Sox. "People think I'm negative? I am negative. They've done a great job. This is a wonderful season. It's a gift, it's magic, it's great. They are very fragile in my view right now. Every time it looks like something bad is going to happen, they come back and rip off four out of five or something like that. Maybe that's going to happen again. I would be very worried about them right now."

So, when does Shank officially step up his campaign to run Jacoby Ellsbury out of town? If you're the Prince of Darkness, that requires biting someone's head off, doesn't it?

The CHB 'Breaks' Down

What in the ... ?

Leave it to Roger Clemens to negate the Scrooge that is The CHB. The result: A piece on the pitfalls of fame.

• I can’t imagine what it’s like to be David Ortiz, Pedro Martinez, or Larry Bird. You can’t possibly stop and accommodate everyone.
• How would you like to be forever defined by your worst moment?
• I find some of it wildly unfair. 

The CHB complaining about bad press? Get real. This is the guy who takes credit for running Nomar Garciaparra out of town. And who tried to run Jim Rice out of town. And Curt Schilling. And Theo Epstein. And Carl Everett. Oh, and Roger Clemens too!

This is the guy who can't write "Dan Duquette" without mentioning "twilight of his career," who called David Ortiz a "sad sack of you-know-what," who mocks any athlete who denies having used PEDs, who complains bitterly when Bill Belichick ignores him.

Is The CHB succumbing to the pressure of being the best-known misanthrope in a small town?

P.S. A Larry Bird sighting!

Familiar With The Subject Matter

This is the second chapter from yesterday's column, the 2013-2014 New England Patriot's epitaph.

Bill Belichick obviously hates Wes Welker

DENVER — A day later, some clarity.

We know for sure now that Bill Belichick hates Wes Welker with the power of 1,000 suns. Belichick blames Welker for dropping a pass that cost him a Super Bowl ring two years ago.

Does anyone recall Bill Belichick actually saying anything explicit about this? I sure don't recall it, and a quick check of the archives don't mention anything specifically about that game and it's aftermath.

But then the game started, and it was obvious. Tom Brady had no one to throw the ball to. Amendola, the man who replaced Welker, was targeted only once and dropped the throw, a no-show performance that would put the Celtics’ Jeff Green to shame. Meanwhile, Welker — Peyton Manning’s fourth option in the Broncos’ pinball offense — caught four passes for 38 yards.

Welker also took Aqib Talib out of the game with a pick-play block.

And now Belichick hates him more than ever.

This, from a columnist that has criticized and run out of town more athletes than I have time to write about.

Belichick has been unusually contrite these last couple of days. Sunday he talked of “mistakes, especially by me,’’ and Monday he said, “Nobody makes more mistakes around here than I do.’’

Everyone forgives you, Bill. You took this team much further than it deserved to go. But some of the mistakes were made last spring and summer. And letting Welker go was one of those mistakes.

He’s going to the Super Bowl. And the Patriots are picking up pieces of their broken luck. Again.

You can almost picture Shank with a shit-eating grin when he's writing this column, can't you?

Boston Bruins Death Watch - II

Dan Shaughnessy Watch, March 10, 2016:

In true Shank Shaughnessy fashion, he will bury both of these teams once they're eliminated from the playoffs.

Not a very tough call, was it? Looks like Shank's enjoying one of his favorite pastimes again, running people out of town:

It looks like John Farrell is going to keep his job longer than Claude Julien.

Mercifully, it is official: The Bruins are not a playoff team. Five years after winning the Cup, three years after getting to the finals, two years after compiling the best overall record in the league . . . the Bruins are not one of the top 16 teams. For the second straight year. And yet there is still a Preserve Claude Society that will insist Julien should be Bruins Coach For Life.

Sorry. Claude has been nothing but class and professionalism. He is the winningest coach in team history and he brought the Cup back to Causeway Street. But nine years is enough. Nobody gets to do this forever. The Bruins have to rebuild and Julien might not be the guy for a team of youngsters.

It took Shank this long to figure it out? It wasn't obvious when the Bruins traded away Tyler Seguin?

Then again, not every Boston Globe sportswriter agrees with this assessment:

Put away that pink slip for Claude Julien. He isn’t packing up and going home yet and neither are the Bruins.

Those who want to run the Bruins coach out of town if the team coughs up a playoff spot for the second consecutive season are going to have to put a few more pins in their Julien voodoo dolls between now and the season-finale Saturday against the Ottawa Senators.

Were you thinking of someone in particular with that comment, Chris?

DHL Dan CVIII - Wish Upon A Star

Shank would like you to know the obvious: :

Hoping former MVP Cam Newton is more Kevin Garnett than Bob McAdoo, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while mailing a birthday card to the great Bob Cousy, who turns 92 Sunday . . .

Just want to emphasize the 'mailed in' notion, since it seems like a confessional.

▪ Patriots quarterback Cam Newton is one of a long list of former league MVPs who came to Boston to resume or finish their careers. The list includes (among others) Kevin Garnett, Bob McAdoo, Bill Walton, Shaquille O’Neal, Jaromir Jagr, Dennis Eckersley, Rickey Henderson, Jose Canseco, Andre Dawson, Don Baylor, Orlando Cepeda, Elston Howard, Lou Boudreau, Jimmie Foxx, and Lefty Grove. How many of you remember that 1989 National League MVP Kevin Mitchell played 27 games for the 1996 Red Sox? Newton was MVP of the NFL five years ago. He’s 31 now and comes to the Patriots after subpar seasons owed to injuries. Patriots fans would love it if Newton turns out to be another Garnett. KG was 31 when he came to the Celtics four years after his MVP season with the Timberwolves and he was still a dominant player. Garnett led the Celtics to a championship in his first season here. Baylor was American League MVP when he drove in 139 runs for the Angels in 1979. Seven years later, at the age of 36, Baylor was still good for 31 homers and 94 RBIs with the pennant-winning Red Sox. A lot of former MVPs had forgettable stints in Boston. Jagr was 14 years past his MVP prime when he played 33 games for the 2012-2013 Bruins. Henderson was near the end when he played for the Red Sox in 2002. McAdoo was only 27 when he came to Boston in 1979 and his 20-game stint with the last-place Celtics was completely forgettable. McAdoo is best remembered here as the key piece in a trade with Detroit that ultimately delivered Robert Parish and Kevin McHale to the Celtics.

Given the recent ferocity of his criticisms of the Red Sox, it won't take anything more than a two game losing streak for Shank to start Cam Newton's run out of town. The rest of the column is the usual hodgepodge mix of Red Sox criticism and other laundry list complaints.

The Obligatory Shit On The Sox Column

I'm willing to bet he was writing this column in the fourth inning.

The fall of the 2016 Red Sox is complete. The Sox were the feel-good story of our summer, but it seems that it all went away when they held their division-clinching toga party in the Bronx after an embarrassing 5-3 walkoff loss at Yankee Stadium Sept. 28.

Since this is Shank, someone needs to be blamed and run out of town. Any guesses?

The Red Sox rightfully won the American League East, sweeping through Baltimore and Tampa, winning 11 straight games during the most critical stretch of September. And then everything stopped. A day after clinching, manager John Farrell “rested” Dustin Pedroia and Mookie Betts and pulled David Ortiz after a couple of at-bats, triggering a losing pattern that carried straight through the playoffs. The Sox lost their way during an interminable series of heartfelt sendoffs for David Ortiz and had nothing left when the championship tournament started last week.
...
The ignominious sweep no doubt will crank up the “Fire Farrell” bandwagon that rolled across New England for much of the spring and summer.

A paragraph later, Shank has a moment of clarity:

It’s certainly not Farrell’s fault that Rick Porcello and David Price spit the bit in their starts in Cleveland. It’s not Farrell’s fault that the Sox — who led the majors with 878 runs — scored seven runs in three games and hit .214 in this series. A team that went 20-24 in one-run games during the regular season lost two more one-run games in the playoffs.

What's This 'We' Shit, Kemosabe?

Shank feels left out (or he's feigning it again) of this year's NCAA basketball tournament:

We’re feeling left out of the men’s March Madness — and it wasn’t always like this

No white sport coat. No pink carnation. We are Big Dance wallflowers.

It’s March Madness season across the USA, but here in Greater Boston, we’re not involved. We are the ultimate outsiders. We are landline folks in a SmartPhone World.

The NCAA men’s Division 1 basketball tournament is more popular than ever and launches in full fury Thursday and Friday with subregionals in Columbus, Greensboro, Orlando, Sacramento, Des Moines, Albany, Denver, and Birmingham.

Here in the Hub of the Universe, we have no Terriers or Huskies in this fight. Also, no Eagles, Minutemen, Crimson, or Crusaders.

New England is represented. Sort of. On Friday, 15th-seeded Vermont plays Marquette in Columbus, fourth-seeded UConn faces Rick Pitino’s Iona in Albany, and 11th-seeded Providence plays John Calipari’s Kentucky Wildcats in Greensboro.

Once again, Shank writes a column whose tone is unmistakably provincial and arrogant - it's all about Boston / New England. The kicker is the use of John Calipari's picture to head the column; Shank hates this fucking guy, yet he'll use the picture to help sell the column. I was watching an ESPN '30 for 30' show about John Calipari a few days ago, and at one point it showed a picture of one of Shank's columns bashing Calipari during the end of Calipari's tenure at UMass, otherwise known as the 'run him out of town' phase of the relationship. Utterly shameless.

Is he talking to me? Couldn't be!

Imagine, for a moment, a four year old kid hiding under his brother's bed in Needham, Mass in 1970 watching the Bruins play on TV, waiting to hear the name of his favorite player, Bobby Orr. This poor kid was uprooted as a 5 year old to move to the deep south in 1972 but the Boston roots stuck.

The Red Sox sprang into his consciousness in 1974...a final week of the season in which the Red Sox lost to the Orioles. 1975 was a glorious year for this 9 year old...this kid stilll thanks his Dad 32 years later for letting him stay up late on a school night to watch Carlton Fisk homer off Pat Darcy in the 12th inning of the 6th game of the World Series. Much to his dismay, Jim Burton gave up a single to Joe Morgan in Game 7 and that was all she wrote for 1975. 1976 and 1977 were fun but disappointing years - in the 75 offseason, favorite player Cecil Cooper was traded to the Brewers and this kid was depressed for months. 1978 was another terrific summer - the Sox had a big lead but saw it dissipate. This kid begged his mom to pick him up early from school to see a one-game playoff with those Yankees. On the radio, (on the way home) he heard Yaz homer early in the game...but 29 years later, he stills curses Bucky Beeping Dent and Lou Piniella too. This kid would call local radio sport shows in South Carolina debating the merits of the Red Sox lineup and it is very likely no one in the state cared but him.


Lean years until 1986. Now a college junior in these pre-internet years, he would run to bookstores in Georgetown in Oct 86, after class to scour the racks for a 2-day old Boston Globe so he could read the local Red Sox coverage. Another classic World Series Game 6 and after this one, he ran down the halls of his dormitory screaming at the top of his lungs "How could they blow this?" (Just a weeek or so after declaring Dave Henderson and Don Baylor his new personal heroes)

More pain followed....the years seem to run together as he handled military life, married life, raising 4 children. 2003 is another red letter year and Aaron Boone. Finally, fortunes reversed in 2004--tears streaming down his face--the Red Sox had finally won it all.

Excuse the dramatics in re-creating my sad little life--a life that seems to be bookmarked against the ups and downs of the Red Sox---many more memories than this but you get the idea. And I am sure many of you have very similar stories.

Flash forward to today....I have a Game 7 World Series ticket thanks to a dear friend and a fellow diehard. I would love to see the Red Sox win in 4 games but pardon me (and my friend) for having the audacity to dream about the idea of seeing the Red Sox win a World Series in Fenway Park and being present to see it. I am not rich. I plan to stretch the family budget to fly up from DC on Thursday if I am so lucky. I have not jumped the bandwagon. With this team and their history, there is something so right about a Game 7. It has never been easy and it does not feel right when it is easy. The 2004 sweep of the Cardinals did not seem right either -- but perhaps that was a cosmic way to spare people a few heart attacks after the comeback against the Yankees. Yes, the Sox won in 2004 but pardon me for thinking that it would be extra special this year if it happened at Fenway (and especially with me and my friend present to see it).

I am sure there are a small bunch of fair weather fans that Shaughnessy correctly describes but I find his broad brush criticism condescending. Again, here is a guy who is paid to go the ball park to write about the games. Does he not realize how lucky he is? Can he even begin to fathom what it would mean to an out of town fanatic to be present to see the Sox win it all?
It would quite literally be one of the highlights of my life. Forgive me for feeling that way

4th and Long in Detroit

Blogging late today; have been out of town since Saturday.

As several posters have noted, The CHB's recap of the Super Bowl was notable only for its utter lack of redeeming value. He did manage to spot an otherwise invisible Terry Bradshaw, however, claiming the absent Steeler "generated the loudest ovations." Someone please tell me this did not run on A1 of the Globe today.

Hope you enjoyed the Hockeytown Cafe, Dan. Be sure to have a drink on us before you leave town.

Error-prone. As noted, The CHB blew the Bradshaw bit. That wasn't his only goof this weekend, however. I'm not going to begin to take credit for knowing (or noticing) this, but Shaughnessy's Saturday column included the claim that Matt Hasselbeck was MVP of the state high school football championship game. (As sportswriter Jeff Sullivan points out, the Massachusetts Interscholastic Athletic Association does not and never has named an MVP.)

Here's the sentence in question; you decide whether this is poor prose or an error of fact: "There was no trip to Disneyland for the 1992 MIAA Division 1-A Super Bowl MVP."

Dan not only needs an editor, he could use a fact-checker to boot. Recall that on Dec. 6 he wrote "Of the 17 players (who've been on the ballot) boasting at least 350 homers and a .290 average, all are in Cooperstown -- except for Rice and Dick Allen" only to state on Jan. 11: "Among 18 players who've been on the ballot with 350 homers and an average of .290, all are in the Hall except for Rice and Dick Allen."

No correction was run.

Wonder how objectivebruce will defend this.

The Show Must Go On

Hello, everyone. I've asked the proprietor(s) of this site to grant me the priviledge to throw in my opinions about Dan in a more formal manner.

I'd like to lay a few cards on the table before doing so. For what it's worth, I used to blog here for a few years. In addition to my comments here for the past year or so, it is no secret, then, that I don't like the Boston Globe.

I know a few people that work there, and while I feel a little bad that they eventually will lose their jobs, I shed no tears for the Globe's demise. One might say I'm not inclined to extinguish them in certain manners if they were set on fire. They breathlessy support and otherwise advocate for liberal / left-wing causes, policies and people, a phenomenon that spreads well past the editorial pages, where it rightfully belongs. They kiss the asses of the likes of Kennedy and Kerry while taking huge dumps on Romney or anyone with the '- R' suffix. They adore government programs of all shapes and sizes and don't seem entirely thrilled with the private sector. That infusion of liberalism across the entire newspaper is what caused me to moderate my Globe intake many moons ago.

In 1994 I used to buy the Globe, grab the sports section and throw away the rest of the paper. I believe it was 1995 when Shank was doing an interview with Wade Boggs (yes, he used to actually interview athletes!). I have searched for the transcript high and low a few times, unable to confirm the following, but here is the exchange:

Dan: "What newspapers do you read?"

Wade: "I listen to Rush Limbaugh."

Dan: "Yoooou listen to Rush Limbaugh?"

From that, I am convinced that Dan wanted Wade to tell him how freakin' wonderful the Boston Globe was. Wade didn't bite. I thought, if Shank hates Rush Limbaugh, then Rush must be cool. I've listened to Rush ever since, and I haven't bought the Globe since.

Since this time, the Boston Globe has slowly but surely lost it's shirt. The New York Times has seen it's 1.1 billion investment all but disappear after the 1993 purchase. A commenter on this board refused / failed to respond to my prediction that certain readership parameters would decline by a third. Good call on his part.

Here's the thing - why don't people pay to read the Globe anymore? It's three things. 1) an inability to attract advertising revenue, 2) it's free over the Internet, and 3) the product sucks, so why would you pay fo it? The only quibble is over the percentages assigned to each factor.

I'm not much of a Shank fan, either, but at least now you know why. I believe I was fair in my commentary of him over the past year or so as I acknowledge both good and bad articles he's written, so my intention here (if / when the question is asked, as has been in the past) is simply to carry the torch. For the Globe cheerleaders out there - think of it as public service; I'm just giving back to my community.

And now, with mike's most recent comment in the last thread, such things matter. It's fair for us to comment on what they write, and if they take issue with our commentary, that's fine, and should be welcome. That's the essence of the whole dead tree / internet debate, isn't it?

This is the type of article that Shank writes best, when he's not pissing on someone or trying his best to run them out of town.

I have to add this - I saw the Shankster on a local weekend sports show (a Sunday night 11:30+ show), and I was quite impressed. In tough markets, you need to diversify...

The Hank Finkel Column

I guess Clive Rush wasn't around, eh?

Ex-Celtic Hank Finkel could give Jarrett Stidham an idea of what he might be in for

Hey there, Jarrett Stidham. Want to know what it’s like to take over the starting job in place of the greatest winner in the history of your sport . . . in front of Boston fans accustomed to championships every year? Give Hank Finkel a call. I can get you his number if you want.

Hank is 77 years old, lives north of Boston, and is uniquely equipped to tell you what lies ahead. Nicknamed "High Henry'' by Johnny Most, the 7-foot Finkel replaced Bill Russell as the Celtics center for the 1969-70 season after Russell won his 11th championship in 13 seasons.

So far so good, right?

Russell didn’t play out his contract and leave New England for Tampa. He flat-out retired. And it was pretty obvious that things were not going to be the same once he left.

Now why do you suppose he said that, other than to just be a jagoff? It's probably that, combined with his continuing animosity of the Patriots and owner Robert Kraft, so saying anything remotely negative suits this purpose.

With no Russell, no Sam Jones (who also retired), a rookie coach in Tommy Heinsohn, and newcomer Finkel starting at center, the defending champion Celtics went 34-48 and missed the playoffs for the first time in 20 seasons. Boston fans were not happy, and Finkel got far too much of the blame.

"When you win in New England, the fans love you,'' Finkel said via telephone this week. "But when you lose in New England, they want to run you out of town''

Are we sure that Shank wasn't working at the Globe in 1969?

The rest of the column is solid.

I'll Have A Bowl Of Awkward, Please

Fresh from updating his resume, Shank runs a copy by the folks at Boston Public Radio. Oh, and he also sits down with Jim Braude and Margery Eagan yesterday to discuss his imminent demise the recent purchase of the Boston Globe by Red Sox owner John Henry.

(full audio at the top of the page, 4:09)

Dan Shaughnessy: Globe Sale To John Henry A 'Bowl Of Awkward'

Boston Globe sports columnist Dan Shaughnessy, who at times has been critical of owner John Henry's management of the Boston Red Sox, spoke with Boston Public Radio about his new boss.

Kind of an understatement, don't you think?

"It's amazing how life works," he told Boston Public Radio's Jim Braude and Margery Eagan on Monday. "It is a whole bowl of awkward. It's hard to get your head around it, and it is amusing to a degree."

You might not be laughing in a few weeks, mate...

Henry purchased The Boston Globe for $70 million early Saturday morning. Shaughnessy said he hopes the purchase of the newspaper by the principal owner of the very baseball team he has covered for three decades will not change his expectations as a columnist.

"What I've seen so far in statements by Mr. Henry - he's going to allow the Globe to do what it does, which is practice good journalism (first time for everything! - ed),” Shaughnessy said. “We've covered this team like nobody's business and when good things happen it's all good, and when bad things happen it's not so good. And I expect it to be that way, and hope that we have a wonderful run under new ownership."

Shaughnessy said the change in Globe ownership will not change the way he approaches his work as a columnist covering the Red Sox.

That will change when he has the sitdown with the new Vito Corleone...

"This is sports, and my agenda is running Red Sox players out of town how I feel about things," he said. "I feel I've always had the independence to have those opinions, and will continue to have those opinions and hopefully have the independence to put them out there."

Shaughnessy called Henry a 'forward looking guy.'

“This is a guy that likes devices, and he's always been a computer guy and the way the industry's going, that could be just the ticket," he said. “This is evolution. You can't fight it."

Fight the power, Shank!

To this point, I'll give Shank credit for taking it in stride.

Beating A Dead Horse, Claude Julien Edition

Former Boston Bruins coach Claude Julien was fired on February 7, 2017, as Shank professed outrage at the timing of the firing. Never mind that whenever he wanted someone run out of town, like Nomar Garciaparra or any other member of the Red Sox Shank deemed expendable, that was okay because that's different. Yesterday he had this curiously cryptic tweet on the matter, in some sort of backhanded measure to lay it at the feet of the New England Patriots' parade:

Pats victory parade? Wonder if Claude Julien is holding his breath up in Montreal today.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) February 5, 2019

Whatever that's supposed to mean.

Who Is He Kidding?

For the second time in two weeks, former Red Sox outfielder Carl Crawford complained about his treatment by our wonderfully kind and compassionate local sports media while a member of the Sox. Shank ridiculously takes exception to Crawford's comments.

Last week Carl told Danny Knobler of CBSsports.com, “I took so much of a beating in Boston, I don’t think anything could bother me anymore . . . They love it when you’re miserable. Burying people in the media, they think that makes a person play better. That media was the worst thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.’’

Any of you scratching your head over this one?

Let’s start with the fact that Carl gladly signed a seven-year, $142 million contract and delivered nothing. He was never the player that he had been when he played against the Sox. He was soft and often injured. He didn’t hit, didn’t get on base, didn’t steal bases, and became a subpar defender. It was all bad.

And despite all that, we cut him slack. Fans and media. We pumped his tires. We noted how much he cared, how hard he tried. We discouraged booing the guy. Poor Carl. Don’t blame him.

Dan Shaughnessy, cutting Crawford some slack, April 21, 2011:

Who’s at shortstop today? Who’s behind the plate? Where’s Waldo Crawford hitting? Who is leadoff man du jour? It’s a New England parlor game, from Eastport to Block Island.
Yesterday, Marco “Wally Pipp’’ Scutaro was back at short and banged out a couple of hits. Jed Lowrie played third base and hit his third homer in five games. No. 7 hitter Crawford actually knocked in a run. Leadoff man of the hour J.D. Drew homered. Jason Varitek caught Clay Buchholz while Jarrod Saltalamacchia sat.

Dan Shaughnessy, cutting Crawford some slack, April 24, 2011:

It was embarrassing seeing Crawford batting eighth last night. We are 20 games into the season and poor Carl has already batted first, second, third, seventh, and eighth. He’s certainly the first $142 million No. 8 hitter in baseball history (not counting Alex Rodriguez in the 2006 playoffs). Crawford has left an astounding number of runners on third base, but got a break Friday night when the Angels’ flossy center fielder, Peter Bourjos, dropped a sky-high shot with runners on second and third and two out in the fourth.

Dan Shaughnessy, cutting Crawford some slack, August 18, 2011:

Four losses in five games. Nine hits and three runs in 27 innings over two days at home against the Rays. David Ortiz is wearing a ski boot on his right foot and Carl Crawford is harder to find than Albert Haynesworth.

Dan Shaughnessy, cutting Crawford some slack and reminding readers of Crawford's contract, July 29, 2012:

Carl Crawford, the man with the $142 million contract, was not in Boston’s lineup against CC Sabathia.

Dan Shaughnessy, cutting Crawford some slack again on July 29, 2012:

No. Curt Schilling, Pedro Martinez, Derek Lowe, and Johnny Damon are not walking through that door. You now have tin soldiers Adrian Gonzalez, Carl Crawford, and Jacoby Ellsbury.

Maybe Shank means 'cutting him some slack' in a relative sense:

I know this will be hard for some of you to believe, but I, myself, have at times been harsh. When Robert Parish struggled through a brief playoff slump, I called him, “Basketball’s Mr. October.’’ Sox reliever Steve Crawford was “as effective as a sack of doorknobs.’’ For refusing to acknowledge a bunt sign, Jose Offerman was characterized as a “piece of junk’’ (OK, over the line on that one).

How about calling David Ortiz "a sad sack of you know what"? Was that over the line? But it's all good - because all Boston sportswriters do it!

It happens. We are tough on professional athletes in this town. Carl Yastrzemski, Jim Rice, and Wade Boggs all were ripped here and all are enshrined in Cooperstown. Nomar Garciaparra was ripped (only at the end). Manny Ramirez was ripped (only when he quit). Pedro Martinez was rightfully colored as a “diva,” and Roger Clemens was regularly insulted. Comparing the amazing skill sets of Messrs. Clemens and Martinez, I wrote, “On top of everything else, Pedro Martinez even speaks better English than Roger Clemens.’’

...

But absolutely none of this poison was spilled on Carl Crawford. Zero.

I guess Shank has a point. It could have been worse, Carl - you could have been the next sack of you know what!