Longtime readers will be familiar with the following themes raised in this post, but I'd like to put it out there for some of the folks who are not familiar with Shank when it comes to his treatment of the New England Patriots during the NFL playoffs. The Patriots will be hosting a divisional round game next week with three possible opponents; the Buffalo Bills, the
Jacksonville Jaguars Tennessee Titans (
corrected, sorry! - ed.) or the Kansas City Chiefs. We've been waiting for this column since Sunday, and we say this as a guide / warning to the fans and sports media of those three franchises:
DO NOT FALL FOR THIS CRAP FROM DAN SHAUGHNESSY!
Contrary to his opening sentence, he does the same tired shtick just about every god damn year as he's done with his latest column. It's as predictable as the snow that lands in my driveway every winter. He's done this to the fans of the St. Louis Rams, the
Houston Texans (
twice!) (sorry -
make that thrice!), the
Indianapolis Colts, and this style of column even extends to other sports, like the Boston Celtics against the
Cleveland Cavaliers and others which I won't bother with because it's overkill and I'm tired from getting rid of snow for two hours. Regardless, the above links demonstrate a clear and consistent pattern - write columns that are designed to piss of as many people as possible, and the best way to do that is to antagonize both / all fan bases and the media that covers the teams. Let me borrow from the words of
Bruce Allen at Boston Sports Media Watch (written four years ago):
...
This resistance to change is apparent in his work, where he provides a mad-libs series of column templates, which are used over and over again. Within these recycled columns, he even recycles elements and references, (tomato cans, Animal House, Warren Zevon, Amos Alonzo Kraft, etc etc etc) most of which are terribly dated, but as mentioned, Shaughnessy’s not big on change.
Where’s the genius part, you ask?
Somehow, Shaughnessy has managed to continually pull off the exact same Jedi mind-trick over and over and over. He gets not only Boston, but opposing cities, and national networks to fall for his schtick and give him the attention (and yes, money!) that he is looking for.
Let’s run through the last 48 hours, so that you can see what I’m talking about here.
On Tuesday, Dan’s horrendous column on Patriots/Colts is published. It’s written in such a way that it will make both sides angry. In a nutshell, the theme is The Patriots suck, but the Colts still can’t beat them.
Patriots fans who read the column – and that number dwindles by the day – were furious. Just another hackjob on the Patriots, and this time he included among the usual drivel, the jab that Gerry Callahan suggested he should use – the one about the life guard chairs.
Even though the column is decidedly anti-Patriots, the title is Colts won’t be a challenge for the Patriots.
And what are we
reading today from Shank?
Many of you are tired of me hammering the same old themes (not me! - ed.), so today I’ll leave it to former Patriots general manager Upton Bell to characterize the field of candidates in the NFL’s 2017-18 postseason tournament, which kicks off with four wild-card games this weekend.
“It’s the worst group of playoff teams I’ve seen in 40 years, maybe ever,’’ said Bell. “It’s truly the March of the Tomato Cans.’’
Couldn’t have said it better myself. And I’ve tried, believe me.
That, dear reader,
is an understatement!
If you've read those links to his most recent 'work', Bruce Allen's concise analysis of Shank's columns before that time frame, and his most recent column, the pattern should be obvious and jump right out at you.
The words may or may not change, but the story is always the same, every single time. And the bonus? If the Patriots lose, he gets to
take a major shit on them, because he's hated Patriots owner Robert Kraft
for the past two decades:
What's interesting here is the italicized part above. When the New England Patriots played in their second Super Bowl in 1997, the Patriots threw a party and Shank was not invited. We believe this to be the point where Shank became a lifelong bête noire of the Patriots. If he disliked the Patriots at that point (or, more specifically, owner Robert Kraft), this snub was the proverbial nail in the coffin.
So, what you're seeing is another chapter in a long, long review of the Book of Shaughnessy. Read at your peril!
