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Monday, January 11, 2010

Off The Bandwagon Dan

Shank downplays the Patriots chances just before yesterday's loss to the Baltimore Ravens. Funny how a mere three days changes one's tune, isn't it? The Curse of The Shank lives on!

The column is chock full of classic Shankisms. Here is the disowning of the New England Patriots:

...
Which brings us to your New England Patriots as they prepare for their first playoff game since their shocking defeat in Glendale, Ariz., in Super Bowl XLII two years ago.

Schizoid Shank (remember, he was hyping the Pats a mere three days ago):

Despite all of the above, there has been lukewarm anticipation for today’s first-round game against the wild-card Baltimore Ravens.

There's a Woodstock reference:

The Patriots this season were a horrible, heartless road team (2-6), and last week lost their go-to guy when slot receiver Wes Welker blew out his knee on some bad grass in Houston (never to be confused with the bad grass at Woodstock).

And there's an Elvis sighting:

That’s one playoff victory since Dwight Eisenhower was in the White House. One playoff win since the invention of the Barbie doll. One playoff win since Elvis reported to his draft board in Memphis. One playoff win since Alaska and Hawaii became states.

DHL Dan, mailing in yet another column...

10 comments:

David said...

Am I the only one that isn't sure about Dan getting a pass on "but yesterday it appeared the only guys who’d done their job were the Guatemalan snow shovelers who’d been hired to de-ice the stadium"

Really? Was there something that important to the story that they had to be identified as Guatemalan?

Anonymous said...

check his interview to the dan patrick show
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/danpatrick/blog/92921/index.html

Anonymous said...

I've "strayed" away for a while.

First time back and I here that the Shank is now ridiculing Guatemalans.

Someone trying to earn a living using his back is a a bad thing?

The Shank uses his back only when it's his turn to bend over.

Some things never change.


g

Paul said...

"Someone trying to earn a living using his back is a a bad thing?"

No, but breaking and entering into a country is.

Anonymous said...

Paul,

He who fuels the illegals

burns his own bed.

Is the crime that the illegals are entering or that someone feeds them to stay?

Do the illegals serve a purpose? Perhaps they are here to do the shit jobs that the "smart" ones choose not to do anymore.

While we're at it at, why do we strategically outsource to foreign countries key work that can be done here?

What a cycle, just another Shank of world we live in.

g

Paul said...

"Is the crime that the illegals are entering or that someone feeds them to stay?"

Umm, yes.

"Do the illegals serve a purpose?"

Soaking up welfare dollars and making all packaging on all products bilingual (and not any other language either besides English and Spanish...funny, huh?) when the primary language of the US is English.

"why do we strategically outsource to foreign countries key work that can be done here?"

No outrageous labor unions and lower standard of living.

Anonymous said...

Paul,

What about "Perhaps they are here to do the shit jobs"?

You should study the problems in Japan .. they have always had strict immigration laws (helped by being an island) .. but they now have a problem ....

The aging population has no one to take of them ... i.e clean up their shit since the offspring are waiting for the parents to die off and in order tap into the trust funds.

Now Japan realizes they must loosen up the immigration and let the peasant South Koreans into Japan to take care of the menial jobs.

Seems to me that the invisible hand of capitalism is at work here in the US ... if there was no demand for cheap labor then there would be no supply.

g

Paul said...

"You should study the problems in Japan .. they have always had strict immigration laws (helped by being an island) .. but they now have a problem ...."

Really? We're not talking about legal immigration. We're talking about illegal immigration. There's a big difference.

Just like there's a difference between inviting someone to rent out your spare room or someone breaking into your house.

"Perhaps they are here to do the shit jobs"

Perhaps but those jobs are traditionally done by high school and college kids on summer break or folks who have no marketable skills. We've become a consumer culture full of people who think doing that kind of manual labor is beneath them. With unemployment at 10% don't you think there are people out there who would love to have some extra cash?

Anonymous said...

Paul,

"We've become a consumer culture full of people who think doing that kind of manual labor is beneath them. With unemployment at 10% don't you think there are people out there who would love to have some extra cash?"

My point exactly = if there was no demand for cheap labor then there would be no supply.

Yes we have illegal immigrants but if these "illegals" realized that there were no wages here wouldn't they go somewhere else or stay in their country.

Illegal immigration is a dual sided problem so for The Shank to make light of it (one dimensionally)is typical for Shank the Simpleton.

g

Anonymous said...

Roger, it was bad (brown) acid at Woodstock not "bad grass." (-;