The column is chock full of classic Shankisms. Here is the disowning of the New England Patriots:
Which brings us to your New England Patriots as they prepare for their first playoff game since their shocking defeat in Glendale, Ariz., in Super Bowl XLII two years ago.
Schizoid Shank (remember, he was hyping the Pats a mere three days ago):
Despite all of the above, there has been lukewarm anticipation for today’s first-round game against the wild-card Baltimore Ravens.
There's a Woodstock reference:
The Patriots this season were a horrible, heartless road team (2-6), and last week lost their go-to guy when slot receiver Wes Welker blew out his knee on some bad grass in Houston (never to be confused with the bad grass at Woodstock).
And there's an Elvis sighting:
That’s one playoff victory since Dwight Eisenhower was in the White House. One playoff win since the invention of the Barbie doll. One playoff win since Elvis reported to his draft board in Memphis. One playoff win since Alaska and Hawaii became states.
DHL Dan, mailing in yet another column...