Links

Thursday, August 24, 2006

WTF?

I do apologize for the incredibly banal and immature title. But it's 4:00 AM, I'm sick, and these three letters are the only things that come remotely close to conveying my bewilderment and disgust at today's column.

I don't know what happened; my guess is that Dan has been bombarded with complaints about his negativism in the wake of his recent abortions about Theo and Manny, and that this column is the result. It's quite possibly the most sickeningly sarcastic piece of rubbish I've ever had the misfortune to read. I don't even know where to start, or if I should even bother. Let's start here, though:

Remember what Theo Epstein told us Sunday night as he stood on the Fenway lawn before Game 4 of the Carnage by Lansdowne Street: ``We're not going to change our approach and all of a sudden try to build an uberteam and all of a sudden win now at the expense of the future."

There you have it. Let's not win now. This should help you enjoy the remaining 36 games of 2006. Just relax and check out Dustin Pedroia's footwork around second base. It's not about 2006 anymore. It's about the future.

Looking at this quote in isolation brings me to the conclusion that Dan's interpretation of it is asinine. Theo did not say "let's not win now," nor did he imply it. In fact, this isn't what he said at all. The last part of the sentence is mere paraphrasing and Dan has conveniently left out six subsequent sentences that better explain the point Theo is trying to make. By consensus of other reputable articles on the same conversation, here is what Theo actually said:
"We're not going to change our approach and try to build an uber-team and all of a sudden win now and discard the future. That's not an excuse. I'm not trying to throw a cloak over the clear holes on this team by talking about the future. I'm not. Our goals are now, and our goals are to put ourselves in a position to win every single year. That's the reality. It's going to occasionally leave us short."
Had Dan included these other sentences, the impression given would have been vastly different. But it also would have been kinder to Theo, and we can't have that!

Dr. Charles Steinberg is already working on some promotional material for the final Fenway homestands of this season. At this moment he's reviewing three prospective ad campaigns for the non-stretch drive:

``Save that pricey trip to Fort Myers and come see our prospects closer to home."

``Where Would We Play Bobby Abreu?"

``Red Sox: It's called Bruins."

If the first slogan is meant to be negatively sarcastic, it fails: I think a lot of Red Sox fans actually appreciate this. The second one is a valid question to be discussed, not made fun of. And the third slogan is so absurd and lacking in perspective that I won't even try to address it. I assume everyone has enough familiarity with the current state of the Bruins to understand how stupid such a comparison is.
The 2007 Red Sox go to Seattle after Minnesota and the Sox could sweep at Safeco. I wouldn't be surprised if they win their first six games. We might even be calling them an uberteam by the time they get to Fenway. The Sox make four trips to the West Coast and I think they're going to win every game. It'll be sweet to see Theo's '07 Machine march through Chavez Ravine. Take that, Grady Little! And those home games with the Yankees? Forget about everything that just happened. The Sox are only going to get better while the Yankees will only get worse. It's obvious if you really know baseball. So stop fretting about what just happened and take the long view for a change.
Who exactly is he talking to here? Who set him off like this? The sarcasm is just incredible. He sounds like Joe Morgan ranting about Moneyball.
It's very exciting. Future-rama.
I believe the name of the show is actually "Futurama."
And here at 17 percent Daddy Globe we plan to bombard you with happy stories about all the great ballplayers the Sox refused to trade July 31, 2006. Trust me when I tell you that someday soon you're going to be glad to have Manny Delcarmen instead of Roy Oswalt.
The first sentence is sour grapes. The second sentence represents a fundamental misunderstanding about what happened at the trade deadline, either due to ignorance and laziness in regards to actually doing research on it, or due to the fact that no one in the front office will tell him. If it's the former, which I suspect it is, shame on him, and how typical. If it's the latter, I applaud everyone who said "no comment." In case you were wondering, though, Dan, the Red Sox were willing to trade prospects for Roy Oswalt. It was the Astros who weren't willing to deal Roy Oswalt for prospects. It's kind of hard for Theo to make a deal when there's nothing on the table, huh?
If you can't see what's happening here, it is your own fault. The Red Sox, like the Patriots, are simply smarter than every other organization.
Ah, the easily identifiable stench of a man who has been pushed to his breaking point by an overload of responses defending the front office and feels the need to fire back by making even more ignorant, insulting remarks.
They have vision while the rest of the baseball world wears bifocals.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but people with bifocals also have vision, no?
And they rely on a flock of fans who are willing to pay $12 just to walk into an empty ballpark and look at the ancient poles.
I went on that tour last year. I had a blast.
Let's face it: 2004 bought a lot of patience and solidified Epstein as a hardball genius. These are days of Camelot at olde Fenway and there's nothing that Edgar Renteria, Matt Clement, Coco Crisp, Rudy Seanez, Julian Tavarez, or Josh Beckett can do to change that.
You know he was just dying to add "unfortunately" to the end of that paragraph. This is all about him trying to turn the fans against Theo and the fans not following his lead. Irksome, isn't it, Dan? After all this time, they still like Theo better than you. All that effort, gone to waste; you haven't managed to single-handedly tear him down yet.
Cynics might wonder about the rest of this year. Nattering nabobs might take issue with the top prices in baseball when it's all about the future. Cheapos might ask the Sox to scale back prices since we're no longer worried about '06. Not me. I have seen Baseball Future and its name is Boston Red Sox.
I think he needs to be medicated.

16 comments:

Koot said...

What would this guy do if he were in Toronto, Baltimore or Kansas City? The Red Sox are 4 games out of a playoff spot, even though they have suffered through some major injuries. The way he carries on, you'd swear they tried to make bad moves.

If I were a 210# finely-tuned athlete and this fat, ugly, Ronald McDonald-looking press nerd was badmouthing me, the next time he came into my clubhouse, he'd have a swirlie waiting for him!

Anonymous said...

Worst. Column. Ever.

It's SO easy to second-guess after the Sox' 6-game losing streak; where was this "brave" columnist after the trade deadline or when they were 1.5 games out?

Save this column so we can throw it in CHB's face when the Sox are back in contention with these untraded players next year!

troywestfield said...

Dan Shaughnessy sucks.

Anonymous said...

I'm no fan of Dan, but I thought "Red Sox: It's Called Bruins" was friggin' hilarious.

Beth said...

oh, wait. disregard my comment on the post above. had no idea which was the current column or not--someone just sent me the link to this crap today.

Beth said...

//And they rely on a flock of fans who are willing to pay $12 just to walk into an empty ballpark and look at the ancient poles.//

this was by far the nadir of what really was like swimming through a brimming tank of raw sewage. the guy OPENLY DISPLAYS HIS CONTEMPT for sox fans, and yet there are apparently still sox fans out there who continue to take his word for things--either that, or the globe shares his contempt. those are the only two possible explanations for why he still has a job.

Anonymous said...

//my guess is that Dan has been bombarded with complaints about his negativism in the wake of his recent abortions about Theo and Manny, and that this column is the result.//

We have bingo. That, and the fact that Theo is everything CHB is not, including intelligent, level-headed and well-respected by fans as well as baseball insiders. CHB's jealousy is so apparent it's ridiculous. I'm amazed (though I shouldn't be) that the Globe countenances this garbage.

jenny said...

Less than a minute of research reveals that tours of Yankee Stadium cost $14. Dodger Stadium charges $15. Wrigley Field is $20. I think charging fans $12 to see one of the most historic sports sites in the country is perfectly fine, Dan.

fadedredsoxhat said...

"This is all about him trying to turn the fans against Theo and the fans not following his lead. Irksome, isn't it, Dan? After all this time, they still like Theo better than you. All that effort, gone to waste; you haven't managed to single-handedly tear him down yet."

You nailed it right here, Chiefette! He must have received far more feedback than usual regarding Sunday's column and this is his reply to all. It must have stunned him to realize that he isn't nearly as influential as he thinks he is. So instead of trying to win over hearts and minds, he has to insult the readers he supposedly writes for. This is someone who cannot compete in the arena of ideas. Its only going to get worse and more personal. If the Sox miss the playoffs and Theo is still on the job, we might have to remove the CH from CHB.

BTW, I do appreciate seeing all the kids finally getting thier shot at the big-time. They should have gone full-steam ahead with the youth movement as soon as they won the title.

jenny said...

If the Sox miss the playoffs and Theo is gone because of it, a)that would be incredibly stupid and b)CHB would have an absolute field day. We might finally hit rock bottom.

That said, I give Theo 5 years or less in this town. John Henry would never fire him, but he will leave all the same, maybe because of stress or failure, but just as likely because he just decides he'd rather not do it any more. Getting engaged after saying for years that he didn't have time for a family is the writing on the wall. Mark my words: in 2011, we'll have a different GM, and the search will start from square one, because somebody will have poached Jed and Ben from us by then. But it hardly matters, because CHB will hate them anyway.

Let's see if I'm psychic.

jk9898 said...

I wrote this to him earlier in regards to this horrific column:



Just when I thought you couldn't become any more of a mis-informed hack you go out and prove me wrong. Your attempt to twist Theo Epstein's explanation of his philosophy to help support your unhealthy desire to be bitter is pathetic. Not once has Epstein ever said that his prospects are untouchable. He just wasn't going to give them away for Kip Wells or for $30 million worth of a right fielder who has 8 home runs. You were the one last year who was big on figuring out how much John Henry was paying Curt Schilling per win (while conveniently ignoring that he was a closer more than half the time he was on the active roster). It's only fair now that you count how much the Yankees will be paying Abreu per home run. Besides, we both know that would've been your angle had the Red Sox actually dealt for him. And I know the trading deadline was so long ago now that it's hard for you to remember the facts, so let me refresh your memory. The only reason why you know anything about the possibility of getting Roy Oswalt was because Sean McAdam reported it, (just like he beat you to the scoop on Manny Ramirez being upset about the scorekeeper over the weekend) so it's no wonder that you have your facts wrong. It's hard to stay accurate when you're getting all your information fifth hand. The Astros wanted Andruw Jones in exchange for Oswalt, so Epstein called John Schuerholz about it. Schuerholz told Epstein it would take Coco Crisp, Jon Lester, & Craig Hansen. Epstein told him to pick somebody besides Lester, and while Epstein was waiting for Schueholz to get back to him, Houston pulled out. So you've been wrong on two ends. The first was that Manny Delcarmen was never involved in the discussion. The second one is that the Red Sox most certainly didn't kill the deal because they didn't want to part with Delcarmen. The reason why you mentioned Delcarmen in today's article is because you know that it made Epstein look more like an idiot if you said he wouldn't trade Delcarmen for Oswalt rather than Crisp, Hansen, & Lester. But the truth has never stopped you before. That's why your editor refers to you as the bravest sports writer he knows, because you have no regard for the truth, accuracy, or decency.

JFCC said...

Dan Shaughnessy is now officially certifiable. Someone please call the local psychiatric hospital. It's for his own good.

chowdahead said...

I've had it with him. The bitter sarcastic act is played.

As Pitino would say, "the negativity in this town sucks."

Maybe he'll second guess the Portsmouth, NH team in tomorrow's column

Anonymous said...

I only read Globe columnists from time to time but in just a couple of columns it becomes very apparent the disdain that this guy has for Theo and Manny. What dissapointed me was that Jackie Macmullen decided to pile on Manny as well, I emailed her about and she actually emailed me back which I appreciated. Bob Ryan ussually seems fair and I enjoy his unique style. Does anyone know if Bob and Bozo get along? I bet he hates Bob becuase he doesn't get any of his sweet ESPN gigs.

Anonymous said...

First the story about Theo and the boat trip where Dan refers to "the handsome head of young Theo" (really, really gives me the creeps) and now this piece of rambling garbage. When I read his "columns" lately they sound like the diary they find after a guy snaps and goes on some sort of shooting spree. The bitterness is just way over the top and getting very personal. I think Theo should get a restraining order just in case.

Anonymous said...

First the story about Theo and the boat trip where Dan refers to "the handsome head of young Theo" (really, really gives me the creeps) and now this piece of rambling garbage. When I read his "columns" lately they sound like the diary they find after a guy snaps and goes on some sort of shooting spree. The bitterness is just way over the top and getting very personal. I think Theo should get a restraining order just in case.