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Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Contradictions Abound

The other downside of a Red Sox losing streak is that it brings the slumbering, slobbering idiots out of their alcohol-induced comas. You know, guys like The CHB.

We are treated this fine morning to the many talents of Dan Shaughnessy. Let's take a look.

Dan, the legal eagle: "Minutes later, Francona bobbed and weaved like Sugar Ray Leonard when asked about the conspiracy theory. The manager ... never flatly denied the contention that Ramírez had to be talked into playing Saturday."

Dan the medic: "[We]'re pretty darned sure Manny has faked it in the past to get out of All-Star duties or maybe just to pout when Pedro Martínez was getting time off for dad's birthday."

Dan, the psychologist: "Terry Francona isn't about to challenge Manny. It's simply not worth it. Tito knows how this works. You want to keep Manny happy, so you let him sit when he wants to sit."

Dan, the voice of the players: "For sure, none of Manny's teammates will call him out now because, like Francona, they know there's no upside to challenging Ramírez. ... But you can be pretty sure they're wondering what is going on with the savant slugger as he rests his hamstring while the team is freefalling."

Believing all that means believing the same guy who on June 26, 2005, wrote that the Red Sox would win the AL East in a walk; the same guy who named Josh Beckett the heir to Roger Clemens only to reverse course and practically slander him in the process; the same guy who called David Ortiz "a giant sack of you-know-what"; the same guy who on Dec. 13, 2000, wrote that the signing of Manny Ramirez boosted Dan Duquette "from doofus to genius in less than 24 hours.”

Sounds great Dan! Where do I go to drink that Kool-Aid?

10 comments:

Koot said...

I did like the part of the article where Danny explains, in detail, how Manny ignored him. Why isn't it team policy to ignore Dan Shaughnessy?

And, Manny gets ripped repeatedly by the media for not talking to them, but, why should he? They're all so mean to him, constantly implying that he's stupid and lazy. If I were Manny, I wouldn't talk to any of these clowns either.

Vin said...

Speaking as someone who actually deals with a lot of people who have special disabilities, I would really, really appreciate it if reporters would stop using the word "savant" with Manny. By saying that, CHB is implying that Manny is some sort of mentally retarded person whose only real talent in life is to crush the baseball. I'm sure, Manny and his entire family really appreciate that implication.

Anonymous said...

vin - you word policeman - that really was a lame post. just when you think cultural correctness has reached unparalleled heights, another sensitive moron spews his nonsense. learn the difference between idiot savant and savant.

jenny said...

I don't know who sucks more, the Boston media or the idiot fans that listen to them. What a horrendous column. He's been in fine form lately.

Anonymous said...

Ah yes ... time for one of the most tried-and-true tricks in the Shaughnessy playbook: When in doubt, pick on a minority! Preferably one who doesn't fight back! Let's look at the CHB Roll Call of Racism: Pedro was the "Dominican Diva." CHB stayed on the case of the greatest pitcher in Red Sox history for years. Nomar Garciaparra ended up in his crosshairs. David Ortiz was called a "giant sack of you-knw-what" before he played a game with the Sox. He got on Antoine Walker's case. He's gotten on Paul Pierce's case. Jose Offerman was called something like "a piece of human garbarge." Of course, CHB turns into a fawning teenage girl when the subject matter turns to matinee-idol white boys. He writes love letters to Tom Brady and worships Larry Bird. You know, the Larry Bird who has spent his life ignoring the daughter from his first marriage. Jose Offerman is "a piece of human garbage" for not playing as well as his baseball contract should indicate, but Larry can do no wrong.

Anonymous said...

Dan (and most of the boston media) has never shown Manny any respect with what he can do on the ball-field. The man very well could end up as one of the top-ten all-time power hitters. Yet, no one in the media seems to care about that fact and take every opportunity to kill him in the paper. Calling him a "savant" is NOT a compliment, it totally degrades everything he does to be a great ballplayer. And people are constantly suprised when Manny asks out of Boston, when the media portrays as basically being Rain Man with a bat, it should be no wonder that he wants to leave!

fadedredsoxhat said...

Actually, the exact words were "Let's not forget what a piece of junk Jose Offerman is." And CHB had whiite enemies too, remember Thanksdad? I actually liked that one.

I've been on board with trading Manny since The Parade. If the Red Sox came out after winning the title and let all thier free agents go, didn't make expensive deals for Renteria and Clement, traded Manny, and said "Look fans, the monkey is off your backs. Now let us build something here our way", then I think fans would be willing to watch and enjoy the progress with record ratings and attendance. Too bad the team was too concerned with selling sod and Red Sox Nation cards to take that gamble.

Anonymous said...

//Why isn't it team policy to ignore Dan Shaughnessy?//

I'd bet it IS team policy to ignore CHB. Note that he never has direct quotes in his columns, only stuff he picks up in mobs-around-the-locker gatherings or press conferences.

I believe this dates from his backstabbing of Minky, who said the dumbest thing he ever did was returning CHB's phone call. If you read his columns since then, there's nary a direct quote. The players have finally learned.

I wouldn't be surprised if Dustin Pedroia's first piece of advice upon arrival in the clubhouse was to never, ever say anything to CHB.

The Chief said...

faded, the Sox management seemed like they were pretty close to trading Manny last summer. I don't think that it is off the table, but the number of teams willing to take on a $20M/year contract are, shall we say, limited?

fadedredsoxhat said...

I was laughing at the Angels, who do have money, for not getting Manny last winter and instead choosing to hope that all thier prospects will become stars before Vladimir Guerrero's contract runs out. They know they need a slugger because they offered more money to Paul Konerko than Chicago did. So why would Anaheim stop there? It didn't make sense, especially when they are trying to convince Los Angeles that they are a Los Angeles team. I was living in LA at the time and I think it was Brandon Wood, Howie Kendrick, Scott Shields, and Chone Figgins for Manny. I know Angel fans wanted thier team to pull the trigger and still wish they had.