Shank's National Pasttime

... is kicking a team when they're down:

FORT MYERS, Fla. — Baseball’s cheating scandal just keeps getting worse. And the Red Sox have it hanging over their heads as they go to work on a season made more difficult by the salary dump of Mookie Betts and David Price.

The cheating Houston Astros — who have shot past the Patriots as the most hated team in America — conducted a hideous press conference in West Palm Beach Thursday that left more questions than answers.

Astros owner Jim Crane spoke, as did new manager Dusty Baker, and we listened to brief prepared statements from Alex Bregman and Jose Altuve, two of the cheatin’ ’Stros who won a World Series in 2017 while employing an electronic sign-stealing system that regularly allowed their hitters to know what pitch was coming.

Shank Pretends To Hate The Mookie Betts Trade

Shank's starting out the 2020 Boston Red Sox season in fine form:

What a week.

What a winter.

What a team.

Desperate for relevance, backpedaling after a wildly unpopular deal that angered the fan base like nothing since Grady Little didn’t lift Pedro Martinez (or perhaps when Haywood Sullivan forgot to mail Carlton Fisk’s contract), the Red Sox officially begin spring training Wednesday at JetBlue Park in Fort Myers, Fla.

Almost a full week after initially agreeing to trade Mookie Betts and David Price to the Dodgers, Chaim Bloom finally met with the media at JetBlue Monday and essentially made the same request that ownership did when it was learned that the commissioner’s office was investigating the Red Sox for allegations of cheating in the 2018 season:

Love, Unrequited

Check out this slobberfest from Shank to soon to be departing Red Sox pitcher, David Price:

Dear David Price,

Hope you and the family are doing well and looking forward to your future with the Los Angeles Dodgers. There’s plenty of noise about the trade back here in Boston, and fans are quite upset about the Red Sox dealing Mookie. I have tried to explain that they are going to miss you as well, but most of them aren’t buying.

Looking back, I still can’t understand what happened with you here in Boston.

Why did you hate it so much?

Can't afford a fuckin' mirror, Shank? Snark aside, I'm having trouble coming up with an athlete for whom Shank washed his balls so thoroughly the entire time he was in Boston. And if that's not enough bogus mental imagery to ruin your appetite, I'll do better next time!

One of these things is not like the others:

Why did you make things so difficult for yourself? I know this can be a tough place to play, but you made it much harder by being sulky and stubborn. Every day. It encouraged folks to overlook significant contributions you made in your four seasons.
...
I loved your game when you pitched for the Rays, Jays, and Tigers. I loved it when you stood up to David Ortiz after Big Papi pimped a couple of homers in the playoffs. You seemed like a thoughtful guy with great talent who would be a good fit here. But you were not. It was a disaster. You didn’t like it here and the fans didn’t like you.

The passive / aggressive routine continues on, if you're into that sort of thing - Shank sure is.

Biting The Hand That Feeds?

Why else come out with a tweet like this one?

John Henry to me Jan 11: "This focus on CBT resides with the media far more than it does within the Sox . . . You seem to think Chaim was brought in to reduce payroll. That is simply not the way FSG operates . . . We try to act responsibly so as to be consistently competitive.''

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) February 5, 2020

Striking Out Early

Shank weighs in early on the 2020 Boston Red Sox season in his trademark optimistic style:

Trading Mookie Betts means the Red Sox have given up on 2020 season https://t.co/ywv29GqKbO

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) February 5, 2020

Ought to be real fun reading Shank's missives from Ft. Myers next week, once pitchers and catchers report.

DHL Dan XCV - Titletown?

I'm wondering how Shank came up with this first angle - did it dawn on him at some point or did he rip someone off after they brought it up in conversation? I'm going with 'ripped off':

Thoughts on Titletown, TB12, UMass football, and other sports topics

Picked-up pieces while waiting endlessly for Tom Brady to tell us where he’s playing next season . . . for Mookie Betts to be traded . . . for the Red Sox to hire a manager . . . for Rob Manfred to tell us whether the 2018 Red Sox were cheating . . . for Danny Ainge to acquire a big man before Thursday’s NBA trading deadline . . .

■ Imagine my surprise when I heard a guy from San Francisco talking about his region as a home of sports champions. Doesn’t everybody know that Boston is Titletown, USA? Twelve duck boat parades in this century?

It turns out that the Bay area has been our equal over the last decade, and if the 49ers had prevailed Sunday, that region would have more championships than Boston since 2010. Instead, we are tied with six crowns and 11 appearances in finals over the last decade.

Since 2010, the Bay area has won three World Series (Giants in 2010, 2012, 2014) and three NBA crowns (Warriors 2015, 2017, 2018). In addition, its teams have been in five other championship rounds (2012 Niners, 2016 Sharks and Warriors, 2019 Warriors, and 2019 49ers). Boston since 2010 has six championships in 11 finals (Celtics 0-1, Bruins 1-2, Patriots 3-2, Red Sox 2-0).

All that and more at the link.

There's No Promotion Like Self-Promotion

Shank punted on tweets during the Super Bowl and instead reminded everyone he won an award a few years ago:

Proud to be part of a Globe team with four bb writers who were honored with Spink Award In Cooperstown pic.twitter.com/PwWb49MBaT

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) February 2, 2020

The Royal We

Shank takes a stab at trolling Patriots Nation on Super Bowl weekend:

NOT MIAMI — No Super Bowl party this year. No Star Market sheet cake with little plastic goalposts and a gridiron painted in frosting. No carefully planned delivery of chicken wings Sunday at 6 p.m. No bet on the over/under, or on how many times Tom Brady will be mentioned by the TV commentators in the first 10 minutes.

Sure, we reluctantly will watch the Kansas City Chiefs and San Francisco 49ers at the appointed time, but we don’t really care which team wins. We have no dog in this fight. The Super Bowl will be played Sunday night in Hard Rock Stadium, but we are not into this game the way we’ve devoured it almost annually since the turn of the century.

Super Bowl LIV unfolds on Fox Sunday at 6:30 p.m. Swell. Why would we care? This game does not involve Bill Belichick, Tom Brady, and the New England Patriots. After all those years of No Days Off, we find ourselves with Too Many Days Off.

That's impressive bandwagon commandeering right there, folks!

In addition to the offense committed by ordering chicken wings and not grilling them yourself, Shank also pretends to be a fan as noted above just so he can take a shit on everybody. Nice guy, isn't he?

Shank Still Hates David Ortiz

...and the (other) organization owned by Shank's boss:

Big Papi now mouthpiece for Sox ownership. https://t.co/xvpV3F8thB

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 31, 2020

NOTE - Meant to post this a few days ago; apologies.

The Kobe Bryant Column

On the recent passing of the All-World NBA superstar:

It’s been more than 48 hours since we learned the tragic news about Kobe Bryant, his daughter, and the seven other souls on the doomed helicopter in Calabasas, Calif.

Hopefully it’s not too early to take a stab at assessing Kobe’s place in basketball history.

Kobe was not the greatest basketball player of all time. But he’s in this observer’s top 10, alongside Wilt Chamberlain, LeBron James, Michael Jordan, Bill Russell, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, Shaquille O’Neal, and Oscar Robertson.

Bryant was the best player of his generation, a perfectly sculpted bridge between Michael and LeBron. Today’s young adults who grew up thinking Ken Griffey Jr. was better than Willie Mays — because they never saw Willie Mays — might tell you that Kobe was better than Michael or Magic. Maybe because they never saw Michael or Magic.

Confidence, Explained

It seems like Shank has a pit bull like grip on this Red Sox sign stealing saga:

How can the Red Sox be so confident MLB’s investigation will end well for them?

Every day there seems to be another Red Sox person or media report expressing confidence that Major League Baseball’s investigation into alleged cheating by the 2018 Sox will not result in significant punishment.

And I’m wondering . . . how can they know this when it’s an ongoing investigation?

Because, of course, expressing confidence in a particular and favorable outcome is different from actual knowledge of a particular outcome. It's fairly similar to a defense team expressing confidence that the jury will find favorably for the defendant. Shank doesn't see that distinction, or he does and just makes an assumption about the Red Sox having said knowledge, maliciously or otherwise.

He then cites comments from Sox management, a quote from Dan Roche (helpfully identified as a former member of the Red Sox broadcast team) and another one from former player Lou Merloni (likewise identified) who all express confidence of a favorable outcome, further heightening Shank's suspicions.

There are other decent parts of the column, which you should consider checking out if you have any interest in this story. And when a cheatin' scandal is the subject, who else to bring up than your old college basketball coaching punching bag, Rick Pitino * John Calipari:

One could have similar suspicions about how John Calipari was treated by the NCAA. Coach Cal got rung up by the NCAA when he was at UMass and again at Memphis (two Final Four appearances vacated). But not at Kentucky. It’s easy to spank UMass and Memphis. But Kentucky is a blue-chip program. A proud part of the NCAA brand. Like the Red Sox in major league baseball. The Astros at this point are not a blue-chip program.

So it seems to be the developing 'conventional wisdom' that Alex Cora's the only guy to suffer serious punishment, and Red Sox brass will get the proverbial slap on the wrist and a couple of weeks of bad press.

And now, for the closing crescendo...

Because I already know none of them will ever return my phone calls, I e-mailed Red Sox ownership Friday afternoon at 1:25 to ask about the organization’s confidence that this investigation will end well for them: “There seems to be a lot of confidence from you guys, J.D. Martinez, Chaim (he told reporters he is comfortable considering 2018 staffers for managerial opening) that the club feels it will be exonerated by MLB investigation into 2018 Sox. Media reports from Rochie and Merloni echo this. 1. Is it accurate to state you are confident there will be no punishments? 2. Have you been told anything by MLB?”

Yeah, I put that first part in there but I had to make an assumption about Shank's relationship with Red Sox ownership and management, much like he did. Isn't writing great?

(* - 1 point deduction for not ragging on Pitino as well)

UPDATE / EDIT AT 11:48 AM - Small spelling error fixed in the Coach Cal section.

And Now For More Boston Globe Employee Bashing

Step on up and claim your prize, Mr. Tough Streetwise Reporter Guy:

.@kirkmin can call me a liar all he wants, I have thick skin-that’s what working the streets gets you. But stay away from Greg, I was there in Indy for a bachelor party that NFL Combine weekend. The only mistruth told by Greg is that Aaron bought a round. It was all on Big Cully pic.twitter.com/yj6d3LP5ga

— Kevin Cullen (@KevinCuIlen) January 24, 2020

'Working the streets'? Newbury Street & Boylston Street, maybe; I'm guessing Dudley Street and Blue Hill Avenue aren't part of his normal 'beat'. Pompous asswipe is the most polite description I'll use to describe this pompous asswipe.

Infield Shift

Longtime readers are aware of the ferocious negativity with which Shank treats certain Boston athletes, and none of more recent prominence than Red Sox pitching ace Curt Schilling. Imagine my surprise, then, at reading his latest column about the Hall of Fame ballots from yesterday, with Derek Jeter and Larry Walker the only two getting in this year. A positive opening headline:

Curt Schilling misses out on Hall of Fame, but he’ll get in next year

… is then quickly doused with a few splashes of negativity:

If you love the Red Sox and love Curt Schilling, the good news is that Schill is getting into the Hall of Fame one year from now.

As long as he does not do something incredibly stupid.

Take the man’s phone away immediately. Bar him from any form of social media over the next 12 months. Schill is officially on the threshold of baseball immortality. Results of the 2020 election demonstrate that Schilling is a lock for 2021 as long as he doesn’t make it impossible for voters to honor him.
...
Schill’s case for the Hall is complex. The myth of him not getting into Cooperstown — a fable Schilling prefers — is that he is being denied because of his “political opinions.’’

Bogus. Schill’s latter-day, off-the-rails rants and social media posts are not singularly what has kept him out. He is simply not a slam-dunk Hall candidate.

The charge of 'bogus' is, of course, absolute rubbish. Shank is well aware that the printed word, even when emanating from the fetid swamps of the area formerly known as 135 Morrisey Boulevard, carry weight and carry the message as far as it will go. Shank has printed enough negative columns about Curt Schilling that they have a certain momentum that carries on, even to this day. Not to mention that time Shank wanted Schilling thrown in jail because Schilling's software company went tits up after a $75 million loan guarantee from the state of Rhode Island. And Shank definitely didn't like it when Schilling described Shank as 'the second most bitter human I've ever known'. Thus, the battle lines have been drawn for years.

Shank then goes on to make a case that, compared to certain other pitchers, Schilling simply doesn't stack up. Since that part of the column's on much better ground, and perhaps even compelling, do you really need to mention Schilling's political opinion? You bet your ass you do, if you work for the Boston Globe and especially if you've been at war with the other guy for over a decade now.

Reunited And It Feels So Good

Just to show you guys Shank does not have an exclusive lock on lame, cheesy lyrics!

Taking a break from shitting on the local sports teams for the past two weeks, Shank looks back (shocking, I know) at some high school classmates:

Reunited after 50 years, high school teammates are reminded that these memories never get old

You don’t have to make it to the NFL or the NBA to share the universal truth of team sports. Moments and teammates stay frozen in time.

I can’t say for sure if I’ve seen my friend Dave any time in the last 49 years. Probably once or twice in the 1970s or 1980s. I was a year ahead of him in high school and went off to Holy Cross in 1971. He went to UMass a year later and became an eighth-grade science teacher in New Hampshire.

We were not super close. We never kept up. But in speaking with other ex-teammates through the years, I was able to keep tabs on him. I knew that he had a couple of daughters, retired, and lost his wife a few years ago.

Read on if you'd like - I'll pass on the once in a blue moon sentimental columns.

Always The Optimist

Shank wonders if the party's over for Boston sports:

Are the championship days over in Boston?

The championship days may be over. We’ve had it too good for too long, and in recent days things have taken a dramatic turn for the worse. The Patriots just had their earliest playoff elimination in 10 years and Tom Brady might be done in New England. The Red Sox are a mess, suspected of cheating, with no manager, and Mookie Betts might be on his way out of town. The Celtics don’t have the size or skill to go all the way, and the Bruins lost another shootout the other night when one of their best players whiffed on his attempt.

I have a theory of when everything changed. And I am by no means picking on Brad Marchand, one of our town’s toughest and best performers.

But he is! Read on for more doom and gloom, which isn't unfounded. Bonus World War I reference!

Alex Cora Gets The Ax

Shank just luvs, luvs luvs these 'rise and fall' stories, especially the fall part...

The fall of Alex Cora, one of the most popular managers/head coaches in recent Boston sports history, was swift and stunning.

Just after noon on Monday, Cora was still manager of the Red Sox and the ball club was promoting “Winter Weekend,” where Cora was slated to participate in a “town meeting” with Red Sox owners at an exhibition hall in Springfield.

Just under 32 hours later, Cora was finished in Boston.

Spygate II - Is Alex Cora Getting The Ax?

Generally speaking, it's a time to question Shank when he uses the phrase 'do the right thing', but in light of very recent developments he just might be right here.

Red Sox need to do the right thing and fire Alex Cora

The Red Sox need to fire Alex Cora now. Yesterday, if possible. Don’t wait for MLB to tell you what to do. Just do the right thing.

After speaking with two sources with direct knowledge of the situation, I get a sense that the Sox are going to stand by their man and ride this out. They just love Alex Cora, and we understand that.

But this is not an episode that calls for traditional, media-blaming defiance. This is not the time for the Sox to stick behind their guy. The Red Sox are an important local institution. Firing Cora now, before MLB’s next set of sanctions is issued, before it becomes obvious to everyone that Cora must go, allows the Sox to preserve some institutional dignity and let history record that they did the right thing.

Shank mentions some things that are in the MLB report (which came out yesterday or early this morning) that look pretty bad & incriminating. And when even Pete Rose thinks it's a bad situation, you know the shit's about to hit the fan.

Somethin' Somethin' Bridge Year

Shank's always complaining about the Red Sox, isn't he?

The Ghoul has spoken. https://t.co/tO0kh7mElG

— Boston Radio Watch® (@bostonradio) January 11, 2020

The story's a hoot, because it was done in part via e-mails between Shank and the principals of the Red Sox (Henry, Werner & Kennedy), reminding everyone once again that he's persona non grata with this team. I love it!

Spygate II - Electric Boogaloo

Didja ever notice when bad news abounds, Shank is all over it? First it was the Patriots losing in the playoffs, which already put a bounce in his step. Now we have yet another late Christmas present for the Shankster:

Throw the book at ’em.

If the new report is accurate — and there is no reason to believe it is not accurate — the Red Sox are an arrogant disgrace.

World champs in 2018? Swell. At this moment, the evidence indicates that when it came to winning the big games, “Our cheaters were better than their cheaters.’’

The 2018 Red Sox were good. They probably didn’t need to cheat to get an edge. But there appears to be ample evidence that they cheated. Just as the Patriots cheated with Spygate in 2007, and most likely again in the Super Bowl-winning season of 2014 during Deflategate.

The Sox of ’18 and the Patriots of most years were better than all the other teams, but that was never good enough. In the spirit of Red Auerbach, the Red Sox and Patriots took it to the next level. They covered all the bases. They uncovered every rock. Even if it made them bottom-feeding cheaters.

Is it just me or do many (if not all) of these cheating allegations vastly overstate whatever competitive advantage you'll get from the specific cheating activity?

No one is going to strip the 2018 Red Sox of their championship banner, but everything from that season is now tainted (do I have to keep saying “if the new report is accurate”?).

Two takeaways - a) I get the clear impression from Shank's tone preceding this sentence he would definitely strip the Sox of that banner if it were up to him. b) Yes, Shank, you do have to keep saying it - it makes you look like less of a jackass if these allegations are proven false.

Last thought - I think Shank was discussing this on Zolak & Bertrand yesterday for the few limited minutes I caught it on the radio. That's classic Shank - talk about it then and do a column on the exact same subject (or vice versa) and since there's no heavy lifting involved, you're not gonna mess up your back!

And if there was ever any doubt about this...

It’s time for Rob Manfred to have his Kenesaw Mountain Landis moment. Eight Men Out. Whatever it takes.

Come down hard, Commish.

Baseball needs to get its game back under control. Time to be harsh. Time to make the punishments hurt.

Ok, one more last thought - Shank is of course referring to the 1919 Chicago White Sox, where eight players threw the World Series and received lifetime bans from baseball. Shank is ridiculously calling for the same level of punishment for people involved in enhanced sign stealing (for lack of a better phrase). It's further ridiculous when you consider the following sentence from this column:

Organic sign-stealing is cool. And fun. Nobody is better at it than Alex Cora.

But Shank wants lifetime bans for a similar behavior? Vastly overstated, this column is.

DHL Dan XCIV - Crocodile Tears

Another predictable column by Shank where he continues to bury the New England Patriots:

Would another team bite on Tom Brady? And other Patriots thoughts . . .

Saturday night at Gillette Stadium felt like the end of everything. Things are going to be very different moving forward in Foxborough.

Some two-day-old takeaways . . .

■ The Tom Brady drama is a 24/7 topic now and it feels like it’s never going to end.

Here’s what I believe: Bob Kraft will do everything in his power to make sure he never gets blamed if Brady leaves (this has already started with a Kraft-Peter King interview). Kraft will say, “We tried, but Tom wanted out,’’ or “We let our coach make these decisions,’’ or Kraft’s ever-handy “I was duped.’’

Since a) the entire column consists of cheap shots at a lot of Patriots players, coaches, ownership and even the fans, and b) it's tax season already, I won't be taking this one apart, although that's exactly what it deserves.