Today's subject is the Bruins, so naturally we get a rundown of all the reasons (read: players) why the B's will be the guys to root for in 2014-15. There's no actual analysis, mind you; just a listing of the "name" players and management and a few shots at the other area teams, all of which is irrelevant because the Bruins don't, you know, actually play the Celtics or Red Sox or Patriots..
There's a moment in every Shank column where his prose makes the leap from vapid to plain goofy. Here's today's:
A Boston team that underachieves is generally condemned to a lifetime of abuse around here. Ask the 2011 Red Sox. Or the ’78 Sox. Or the 1970-71 Bruins. Those were powerhouses that folded at the finish. And they paid the price.
Does anyone mention the '78 Sox anymore? Or even 2011? Like Jim Beam at The Fours, World Series rings have a tendency to take the edge off. And who in the hell cares about the '70-71 Bruins? Talk about showing your age.
A complaint about a lack of winning local teams also falls on deaf ears. The Red Sox are not even a year away from a World Series Championship. The Patriots have made 10 playoffs in a row (the NFL's longest active streak) and are one year removed from the AFC Championship game.
Look closely, friends: This is what out of touch is.