Picked Up Pablum

Shank awakens from his mini-hibernation to inflict another picked-up pieces column on the readers of the Boston Globe. It's unsurprising in its content - a jumble of random and semi-interesting (and some not so interesting) thoughts and opinions.

Some picked-up pieces while watching every movie that Philip Seymour Hoffman ever made . . .

Because when you want a movie review, always turn to Dan Shaughnessy!

The only thing to note in this 'column' is the occasional effort by Shank to rewrite history. In this case, he continues to pretend that he's never, ever, ever been part of the Roger Clemens' Critics Club.

Count me as one who would have honored Pedro Martinez and Roger Clemens separately for the Red Sox Hall of Fame. Nomar Garciaparra also probably deserves his own night. That said, the anti-Clemens backlash around here always has been over the top. In his pre-roids days, Clemens was a great pitcher for the Red Sox, winning 192 games in a Boston uniform, tied for first with Cy Young. He was also a charitable and giving member of our community. There is no measurement for giving back, but a few of our worshiped athletes got in and out of Boston with stellar reputations and did not do one-10th of the charity work done by Roger Clemens.

Interesting, Shank. Is this part of the 'over the top' backlash around here (December 14, 2007)?

There was much gum-flapping after the release of the report, and debate will rage forever. No one will be satisfied, but here in Boston and across Baseball America, we know the biggest loser of Dec. 13, 2007, was Roger Clemens.

The Rocket's résumé was flushed down the toilet yesterday when he was dimed out by a report that relies heavily on witnesses of questionable credibility. The report holds that Clemens was a steroid guy, starting in 1998 and continuing through two years with the Yankees (2000-01). The juicy disclosure might not hold up in court...

Or this, a mere five days later?

"The walls were closing in. Roger Clemens had to do something. Going all McGwire on us wasn't going to get him out of this one.

Fraud. Cheat. Liar. Hypocrite. Juicer. Clemens in the last week emerged as the five-tool player of the Mitchell Report.

First he was dimed out by Brian McNamee, a former trainer who had nothing to gain and much to lose (prison time) by lying to George Mitchell....

It's more than Mark McGwire ever did, but it's hardly a threat to sue the pants off Mitchell and McNamee. We are left to wonder when, precisely, comes "the appropriate time" for Clemens to answer questions. Will that be when O.J. starts looking for the real killer?"

Fast forward to August 24, 2010, when Shank fell for Clemens' now much vaunted 'acts' of charity, disguised as an act contrition:

Let me tell you the story of Clementine.

Clementine is a 6-foot-tall white teddy bear that sits in a shed behind my house. Clementine is 16 years old and a little worn around the edges. The big bear is dirty, moth-ridden, and has duct tape covering holes where stuffing would come out.

Clementine came to our house in a giant cardboard box delivered in a UPS truck in the winter of 1993-94. When the driver and I discovered that the return address was “Katy, Texas,’’ we checked to see if the thing was ticking. Roger Clemens was no friend of mine, and I was concerned the box might contain a Trojan Horse or some other mayhem maker.

No. It contained a get-well gift for 8-year-old Kate Shaughnessy, who’d just been diagnosed with leukemia. There was an autographed baseball from Clemens and the big white bear. Kate smiled and named him/her Clementine. And Clementine stayed in her room until she graduated from college.

So if Shank ever decides to lecture his readers about the meaning of 'charity begins at home', or why Roger Clemens is now such a great guy in his eyes, you'll know his definition of the phrase, and you'll also know why the about face on his opinion of The Rocket. I'm not buying his bullshit on this issue, and neither should you.