The Prototypical Shank Column

This is the type of column we expect from Shank:

INDIANAPOLIS - It’s not about revenge. There’s nothing the Patriots can do tonight that will change what happened in the desert against these same Giants four years ago. Most of the players from that game have moved on. This Super Bowl has zero connection to Super Bowl XLII, when Elisha Nelson Manning broke New England’s heart and killed dreams of perfection and immortality.

Baloney.

Rubbish.

Nonsense.

Lies, lies, lies.

This is all about revenge. It’s about driving a Rolls-Royce to your high school reunion and laughing at the cheerleader who ruined your life when she wouldn’t go out with you. It’s an opportunity to fire the boss who once fired you.

The Patriots have been working overtime to convince you all that this has nothing to do with four years ago. This is an opportunity to win a Super Bowl. It would be no different if they were playing the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

Shank's formula is well displayed - take the most negative angle possible and beat the living snot out of it. Toss in a Larry Bird reference, and presto - instant column!