Whole Lotta Suck

This has to be one of the worst Shaughnessy columns in quite some time. Let us count the ways:

Belittle Red Sox owner John Henry on multiple fronts? Check. When an owner speaks, it's not a talk, it's...

Henry’s chatter minimal

Stir the pot yet again, pound your fists and demand answers to relevant and non-relevant matters? Check.

It was Henry’s chance to:

1. Comment on no beer in the clubhouse after the disaster of 2011.

2. Deny that he loves Liverpool more than the Red Sox.

3. Promise Sox fans that he’s not done spending on the baseball team.

4. Acknowledge the darkest period of his decade-long ownership.

5. Apologize to Carl Crawford for ripping him during a spontaneous appearance on 98.5 The Sports Hub.

6. Explain why he wouldn’t return phone calls from his fired manager, Terry Francona.

7. Explain why the Sox allowed an under-contract Theo Epstein to go to the Cubs before agreeing on compensation.

8. Deliver one of those patented, Steinbrenneresque win-one-for-the-Gipper pep talks to the 2012 Red Sox.

Deliberately misrepresent one of those assertions so you can further pile on the owner? Check.

5. Apologize to Carl Crawford for ripping him during a spontaneous appearance on 98.5 The Sports Hub.

And what constitutes 'ripping' a baseball player?

Regarding his radio remark that he was against signing Crawford to the $142 million contract,...

"I was against it" is ripping a player? Please. "He sucks; he couldn't hit the broad side of a barn & throws like a girl" is ripping someone.

Continue on with the obsession over Liverpool FC? Check.

What about Liverpool, John? Have your attention and wallet moved across the Atlantic in the quest to battle Manchester United?

You think Shank's got the stones to criticize the rest of John Henry's investments? Me neither.

Screw up a semi-obvious name / offer further proof that Shank's column are not edited? Check.

“I think more recently there’s been more to attend to,’’ he acknowledged, without referencing Liverpool, Fenway Rousch Racing, or LeBron James.

Nice try, Shank & the copy desk!

UPDATE at 12:30 PM - Shank's gonna go apeshit; just spotted John & Mrs. Henry in the owner's box at Wembley Stadium (Liverpool v. Cardiff for the Carling Cup).