Monday, March 26, 2007

Dan needed three weeks to write this

huge steaming pile?

One sarcastic joke repeated six times. Dan will never be confused with Mark Twain.

Dan ends with this 'question': "What do you say to those media morons who contend that you are a self-important blowhard with an ill-informed opinion about everything and an insatiable need to be worshipped by sheep-like fans and late-night blog boys who live in Ma's basement?"

This is rich. Dan devotes almost all the column to spew tired generalizations and lame jokes and finishes by using 'media morons' ironically. My head hurts.

I don't read 38pitches. I have too many other things I am interested in and there is too much MPMPOOPPMRPOP talk, or whatever it is. But after briefly browsing the Q&A's, Dan's characterization is wildly offbase. All Dan's column does is further show the alienation between Dan and his subjects and audience.

Just know this: If you are interested in how Curt's changeup is going along, or any other aspect of Curt's pitching, you are a sycophantic, loser who lives in your Mom's basement. To be more successful, be like Dan. Give up any particular interest in the little things that make baseball great and just worry about which player to irrationally bash in order to coverup your increasing irrelevancy.

I hope Jim Rome is looking for a full time co-host.


Jonny Jaha said...

Curt takes the high road and doesn't waste much time with the CHB.

michael said...

Gee, maybe all of us pathetic losers who care about sports should stop following sports. Then we can get on with our lives, and the Globe can ax its Sports section.

Think of all the money they'll save by not having to pay gasbags who hate sports, athletes, and fans!

PJ said...

Easily the most obnoxious and hateful column I've read from him, ever. He couldn't make it more obvious that Schilling's blog (ie, direct communication with fans) is totally threatening to him. Because what he knows deep down inside is that fans want to hear what playing baseball is REALLY like, rather than his blowhard nonsense.

I keep saying I've had it with the CHB - and believe me I wouldn't buy the Globe to read his stuff - but I can't help myself. It's almost a sport in itself to see which tired reference he trots out next, who'll be his next target of resentment, then come over here and know that so many others share my frustration. Party at my house when he finally gets fired.

TR said...

I've enjoyed Schilling's blog for the most part -- I'm impressed with how well he expresses himself in writing, and his directness. I don't do video games so I skip over all that stuff, but a little insight into what goes through his head while he's pitching is very interesting.

Having enjoyed Shaughnessy's work over the years, especially during the Bird years of the Celtics and the 2004 Red Sox, I sort of skimmed today's column and mostly covered my eyes. Ugh. He really demeaned himself. But mostly Schilling and Shaughnessy should shut up about each other already. Who cares?

Anonymous said...

Holy shit as CHB sunk to a new low. I didn't think it was possible after the infamous Dirty Laundry "column" but yes folks, it surely is.

It makes me wonder what might be spewed forth from his whiney, bitchy little mind in the near future.

The only reason I read him now is to see how much of a douchebag he is...

dbvader said...

I was in a hurry today to get the post up and I am getting more infuriated thinking about it.

Dan thinks we shouldn't care what a 200 game winning pitcher has to say about the skill he has spent the last 20+ years mastering. Dan is threatened, pure and simple. He knows that he is ill equipped to provide any sports insight and that, even if he could, he would have to put a lot of effort in to compete with new technologies. He has given up and is flailing around attacking everyone and anything that threatens his livelihood.

This column was a disgrace. It was a poorly written, steroetyped, agenda driven hatchet job. Dan did not provide anything of value in this column. Write him and Joe Sullivan and tell them what a piece of juvenile crap they published.

Anonymous said...

First time on the site; glad to have found it. I knew disliking CHB was shared but after reading his milestone "38pitches-blog" article (A new low Dan... congrats! Considering your body of work over the last few years, thats impressive.) I had to find others who also needed to vent.

That article is so poorly written, 6th graders would be embarrassed to turn it in. Most text messages are more insightful. Just what was the point?

Overall, reading the article was like hearing someone say a racist insult. It says more about the accuser than the accused.

Anonymous said...

Wow....Star Trek jokes and internet geeks. How original and funny Dan is.

Andrew said...

I used to read Shaughnessy religously. Maybe I was naive back in 1998-2005. I started reading this blog with great skeptism that the authors here were a bunch of complaining Bostonians who could never be happy.

But the more I read your comments about his writing, the more I cannot help but agree with all of you.

Dan Shaughnessy fails his readers every time he airs his personal grievances on paper. He is wasting our time and alienating the fans of Boston and the fans of sports in general.

Thank you guys first for picking up on his vitriol before me, and second for getting under his skin.

dbvader said...

glad to have you Andrew. I, too, at one time liked Dan. Admitting you had a problem is the first step.

Where is objectivebruce? I am sure it is just a coincidence he disappears every time Dan pumps out dreck like this or someone asks him to provide specific criticism.

Koot said...

I hate to admit this, but, I actually enjoyed this article. Yes, it was juvenille and petty, but it was pretty funny. I mean, it was totally unprofessional, but, I think for the first time, I may be laughing with Dan Shaughnessy instead of at Dan Shaughnessy.

Beazer said...

//Yes, it was juvenille and petty, but it was pretty funny. I mean, it was totally unprofessional, but, I think for the first time, I may be laughing with Dan Shaughnessy instead of at Dan Shaughnessy.//

It amazes me that people think it was funny. There wasn't one funny line in the entire piece. Even though he hates blogs, Dan seems to want to be "Call of the Green Monster" and is failing miserably.

PJ said...

What I especially love is CHB's insistence that anyone who knows how to use (and communicate with) a computer is a) male; b) fat and c) lives in his parents' basement.

I am none of the above, in fact my husband (gasp) is barely even a Sox fan. Shank exhausted his rants about "nitwit radio" and is trying to move to a new medium. On 38pitches I wrote in requesting that Schill get Manny to do a guest column since we all know he hates dealing with the press. Now THAT would get CHB hootin' and hollerin' big time. I cannot wait for the day it happens.

If Manny has to get someone else to type it, fine by me.

ObjectiveBruce said...

I,on the other hand, thought it was tremendous. The response is precious.

Clearly Shaughnessy hit a nerve with a dead-on column.

Paul said...

Shank's column shows us just how scared the newspaper industry is of the internet and blogs. There was once a time in America when everyone got their information from the morning and nightly newspapers...Then TV came along. Newspapers weathered that storm. Then this new-fangled internet thing came along. They know this is the thing they've been dreading all these years. We can get our news (and voice our opinions) faster and with greater reliability that a newspaper could ever hope to provide.

Shank talks about the internet as if it was 1996. In the early days of the 'net, it was overweight males arguing about Start Trek from their mom's basement. (For the record I love the original series and TNG but I'm neither fat nor do I live in my mom's basement and I'm a member of exactly zero fan sites). The internet grew. Newspapers didn't.

This hack job of a column just goes to show everyone that newspapers are backed into a corner and are swinging wildly looking for that knock-out punch. The internet and bloggers basically make guys like Shank obsolete. I wonder if car assembly line workers felt the same way when robotic arms took their jobs.

Just remember: "Dan Shaughnessy hates you and thinks you're stupid".

dbvader said...

Poor, poor predictable OB. You probably still laugh at Monica Lewinsky jokes.

mph said...

First time I've commented here. First time I've felt the need to, I guess.

What I find so sad about columns like this one it just how far Shaugnessey has fallen. I really once enjoyed reading his columns. I remember one in particular, from maybe 15-20 years ago, he wrote about a school student who was shot and paralyzed while riding in the bus to the game. I actually kept that whole section of the paper just to re-read every once in a while, it was that powerful and always brought tears to my eyes.

Where did that writer go? What turned him into this embittered, sheltered, spiteful wreck? I can't remember the last time I read something so sad and distasteful in the sports section.

Anonymous said...

OB posted: I,on the other hand, thought it was tremendous. The response is precious.

Clearly Shaughnessy hit a nerve with a dead-on column.

A dead-on column? Really? Could you for once give some actual evidence to support your thesis that this article is in fact good writing?
Us "Fan-boys" are waiting patiently. You know because we are running out of breath from all this typing (because we're so fat). Our moms will only let us sit in the basement for so long before we have to get our daily sunlight you know.

Oh by the way, that was sarcasm.

I still honestly wait for you to back up your argument with anything besides arrogant backhanded responses.

objectivebruce said...

4:07 anonymous seems to be afflicted with the malady he is so quick to condemn in others. But I will offer two comments in response to his "arrogant backhand response (sic)"

Shaughnessy wrote a column that was dead-on in its lampooning of blogger world and some of the sycophants who take it personally whenever an athlete currently in favor is the object of criticism.

"Actual evidence" to support a "thesis" that something is good writing? Please. Save it for your elementary expository writing class.

dbvader said...

Dan wasn't critiquing the blogosphere generally, he was critiquing specifically.

Find me one Q&A that is anywhere close in tone or content than the six 'parodies' that Dan came up with. You won't find any. Instead you will find people asking about his game company, how his changeup is coming along, and what he thinks about the need for protection in a lineup.

You are joke. Go find some way to twist this request for some specifics support for your claim.

Anonymous said...


Thankyou very much for answering my question. It seems you have supported facts with a lot research and well reasoned arguments.

Oh wait, no you didn't. Once again you found a way to make yourself look like an arrogant- and by the way, extremely lazy- slob.

Your comebacks are simplistic, if a bit high-handed. But thank you again for offering no credible defense to what Shaughnessy wrote in this article.

Plebian said...

Good news! Shaughnessy has answered his critics at

So now nobody need defend him any longer!