Monday, April 11, 2011

Shank's Manny Ramirez column

Manny Ramirez retires from baseball rather than get hit with a one hundred game suspension for testing positive for an unspecified drug. A couple of commenters asked, 'Where's the Shank column ripping Manny?' Wonder no more.
Manny cared about serving Manny, making money and nothing else

Manny Ramirez is a cheater. He's a disgrace. He's not going to the Hall of Fame. And you know what else? Manny doesn't care.

So why should fans care?

Manny's not an evil person. He was a guy who'd come to the park early, whistle while he worked then go off into the night after the games. He stayed to himself and most of the time you hardly knew he was around. He usually had a hug for everyone but never had a lot of friends in the clubhouse.
Shank's just getting warmed up; read the whole thing. One of Shank's better columns in recent memory.

A few interesting side notes:
He was a latter-day, juiced-up Jimmie Foxx.
Shank, August 26, 2006:
As previously stated, he is a modern-day Jimmie Foxx, a certain Hall of Famer, and he works hard at his craft.
Just thought it interesting that Shank has some level of consistency in comparing Manny to Foxx.
He was Most Valuable Player of the 2004 World Series when the Red Sox put a 86-year-old Curse to rest.
A Curse, exploited by Shank for fun and profit! You'll find the book reviews especially amusing.

But really, what's a Shank column on Manny without a few cheap shots?

Manny was a savant slugger. His simple mind made it easier to hit.


Ever-clueless, he could be funny and charming.


Anonymous said...

This is Shank’s thesis on Manny:

“But I am thoroughly convinced that he never cared about anything other than making a lot of money and taking care of Manny.”

What if Shank is wrong? What if Manny just liked to hit baseballs? Is that a crime? Where is it in his job description that he needs to conform to The Shank Principles?

Some of the best experiences Manny brought to Boston fans can be highlighted by his inaugural game first pitch 3-run homer as a Red Sox and the two homers he hit in one game against Yankees during final weekend in 2005 – one off Randy Johnson – as Sox tried to overcome Yankees to gain first place. Manny was Drama. Most fans enjoyed it.

Next – how Shank uses people:

“Big Papi was trying to hit 60 homers that year but couldn't do it without Manny in the lineup.”

Now Shank feels Papi’s pain instead of calling Papi a piece of sh**t.

The Clincher:

“Maybe everyone was cheating.”

Shank and the entire media harem knew exactly what was going on way back in 1991. What did Shank do about it?!!!s

Absolutely nothing … War what is good for?


Monkeesfan said...

Anonymous misses the point - Manny was so self-centered it poisoned the clubhouse - when he assaulted the traveling secretary that turned the clubhouse against him - the other players wanted Manny to be booted off the team.

Anonymous said...

Monkees Fan,

The point is that Manny was one dimensional, flawed, perhaps even handicapped ... but he could het that ball ... like a pinball wizard he was.

Manny wasn't perfect ... who is ... No one complained when Manny delivered and entertained us.

Yes in the end "they" wanted him out ... both sides won some and lost some ... 50/50 split.