All Aboard!

The Boston Celtics have won thirteen games in a row. Guess who's now jumping on the bandwagon?

The Celtics in Boston at this hour are more popular than free food. They are the biggest story in the NBA, their TV ratings are off the charts, and we cover them the way Fox News covers Donald Trump, the way CNN covered Barack Obama.

You're not supposed to acknowledge media bias, Shank! Didn't they teach you that at Holy Cross?

Never is heard a discouraging word. Normally skeptical reporters turn to jelly around this team. Everything is awesome. We are all Baghdad Bobs. We are all Tommy Heinsohn.

Je suis Johnny Most.

Impressive command of the French language!

Truth be told, it has me a little off my game.

The scalding Celtics play the world champion Warriors at the Garden Thursday, and New England is agog. The Celtics have won 13 in a row and the Warriors are the greatest team on the planet, perhaps the best ever assembled. Our parquet floor is suddenly the center of the NBA universe. Everything is coming up Green.

I wonder if Shank's ever heard of the 1986 Celtics?

Decades of covering teams in this town have trained me to be cynical.

No, you're just a natural born asshole.

Lord knows we’ve had a lot of championships, but there’s usually some case to be made about questionable coaching, nasty personalities in the locker room, buffoonery in the owner’s box, or a team that is more lucky than good.

And we'll always have Cynical Shank to point all of these negative things out