The Sun Will Rise, The Sun Will Set

...and Shank will make painfully predictable tweets during a Patriots game.

Pats win toss and take ball?
First sign of the apocalypse.
Must have something to do with cold.
BYW: The Sat night playoff game vs Tenn was colder

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 31, 2017

Zero Imagination - Follow-Up!

How could I deprive you, dear reader, of all the positive feedback Shank generated with his tweet this morning?

Oh good, now I can listen to more Christmas music and turn your station off. 4 hours of u bashing the Pats, I would rather sit in a dentist chair

— john (@kneessy) December 29, 2017

I'd rather stick needles in my eyes.

— Jeremy Bamford (@bamford_jeremy) December 29, 2017

No one will be listening.

— WhatGrindsMyGears(@REALLYGRINDZ) December 29, 2017

Thanks for the warning

— donbrennan(@Don02451) December 29, 2017

Maybe you can break down the breakfast buffet you weren't invited to as to give insight on why you hate the Krafts

— Matt Schena(@MattSchena81) December 29, 2017

Damn, I was so looking forward to 3 hours of tomato can talk.

— Angry Kirk (@angry_kirk) December 29, 2017

Did Shank actually say this?

This from a guy who wrote that Morkand Mindy was a better show than Cheers

— BillyFromManchester(@billyskouteris) December 29, 2017

And the winner:

I hope someone drags YOU out of the studio so we can laugh about it for 3-hours.....and longer

— Mike Carbone (@mikecarb) December 29, 2017

Damn Those Fences

Raj clued me in to this.  It started with Bruce Jenkins, columnist/math-fearer/schlub, who tweeted all the things he found bad about WAR (none of which were based on actual, you know, math). Naturally, his fellow Luddite, The CHB, promptly retweeted it.

It appears the original tweet has been taken down, but this one is close enough:

I've been big on stats since I was a little kid, but not WAR. Bill James calls it "not very impressive. They get so far into the data that they throw up their hands and take a wild guess." (cont.)

— Bruce Jenkins (@Bruce_Jenkins1) December 27, 2017

My take: It's the "stick to tradition no matter how ineffective it is" approach. Take Cy Young. Since he threw 749 complete games, major league managers should go back to leaving their starting pitchers in the whole time. Obviously that's the path to success, and all these relievers are just mucking up everything, right? While we are at it, let's go back to the single/stolen base/swing at everything approach. And get rid of those damn seats and fences. People can stand, dammit.

The game changes as our understanding of it changes, and anyone who doesn't adapt gets left behind. 

Likewise for WAR, WARP, VORP, and a host of other descriptors. Stats are just a means to describe what happened. They are a language, based on numbers. The language of the game evolves, as all languages do. Anyone want to read a gamer written in Elizabethan English? I didn't think so.

Zero Imagination

How are you gonna bore the living shit out of your audience today, Shank?

On 98.5 SportsHub filling in for Zo and Beetle today with Marshall Hook from 10-2. Hoping somebody storms out of studio so we can talk about it for three hours.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 29, 2017

UPDATE AT 11:08 AM - I feel like calling in and asking Shank how climate change is going to affect the Pats / Jets game on Sunday.

UPDATE AT 11:24 AM - Shank and his co-host are getting mauled by a bunch of callers because they did not fully understand the injury situation / roster implications with regard to Aaron Rodgers.

UPDATE AT 12:02 PM - I cannot believe Shank had the balls to say what I just heard - "Well crafted writing is not valued anymore." Oh, please! When was the last time we read something from Shank that was 'well crafted', that wasn't also marred by his trademark trolling and relentless negativity? I've now reached my bullshit quota for the day.

Mea Culpa Time?

Well, not exactly. Two posts below I noted that Shank opined that James Harrison quit on the Steelers, and that a number of respondents pointed out that this wasn't the case. Today we learn that a number of Steelers players are saying he did just that:

Players witnessed Harrison sleeping in a recliner during position meetings and snoring loudly while outside linebackers coach Joey Porter tried to teach, the source said. Sometimes, Harrison would skip meetings altogether, and when he missed practices for various injuries, player suspicions would rise when Harrison conducted his famous power-lifting sessions the same week or day, the source said.

Harrison left the building at random times, would leave stadiums before or during games on days he was inactive and told teammates he was trying to get traded, released or placed on Injured Reserve, the source said.

The source said Harrison exhibited the behavior throughout the season, but players really started to notice Harrison checking out on game days after a Week 4 win over the Ravens.

If Shank knew this at the time of his tweet, I think it would have helped his case along these lines. I'm adding this as a follow-up post in case there's any doubt about the situation, which is - if these stories are true, and there's no reason right now to dismiss them, Harrison definitely checked out, or quit, on the Steelers.

UPDATE AT 3:58 PMI might want to finish reading the whole thing before posting - did he quit on the team if they promised him more playing snaps and then renege on that promise? There's always two sides to the story, so here they are.

Can't Wait For The Arbitron Ratings

Are they trying to lose the audience on purpose? Why would you do this to them for four hours? Doesn't the Constitution prohibit 'cruel and unusual punishment'?

In the big chair 10-2 again today with @Dan_Shaughnessy, we’ll be joined at noon by @AlbertBreer - tune in and give a holler at 617 779 0985

— Christian Arcand (@ChristianArcand) December 28, 2017

Do Three Data Points Make A Trend?

Probably not, but that doesn't stop Shank from making the attempt:

The Patriot Way: Quit on your old team. Get released. Join Patriots. Blount. Bennett. Now Harrison.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 27, 2017

When I was growing up in Manchester, I remember running through the back yard, stepped on a rake at full running tilt and smacked myself right in the face, hard enough for me to fall down hard, just like Wile E. Coyote used to do. This tweet is the online equivalent of the rake faceplant:

Did Harrison really quit on his team? They didn’t play him and then released him. He wasn’t supposed to sign with another team? Guy didn’t have a job.

— Katie Morrison (@KatieMo61) December 27, 2017

Facts are stubborn things, Katie! You know Shank isn't going to pay much attention to that sort of thing when he's pushing his scorched-earth agenda.

The Patriot Way: Run an orginazionenvied by the best players. Attract disgruntled players with the opportunity to win and be respected. Have even their small role be highly valued. Good coaching brings out the best in them. Everyone wins.

— ZacYork (@zacpme) December 27, 2017

He's still not over that snub by the Patriots from twenty years ago, Zac.

Except that the Steelers signed Harrison last March, refused to play him, then they cut him.

What do you think he was supposed to do then? Quit looking for a job?

— TheSplitScreen(@TheSplitScreen) December 27, 2017

This one will leave a mark:

Sort of like some of the sports reporters that quit the Globe and went elswhere..

— NE FAN (@stomlin64) December 27, 2017

...and the winner:

pic.twitter.com/f5PZ29ZLxO

— NYC Pizza Rat🍕🐀 (@realNYCPizzaRat) December 27, 2017

And Now For More Boston Globe (Employee) Bashing - LXVII

Retweeted by Shank:

It will all trickle down. Count on it. https://t.co/eEuDaO3JD7

— Kevin Paul Dupont(@GlobeKPD) December 24, 2017

Question for Kevin Paul Dupont - how well did the Globe's 1.1 billion dollar 1993 purchase by the New York Times 'trickle down' to you and the rest of the staff? Here's my analysis - it didn't. The Taylor family scooped it all up for themselves and you didn't say jack shit about it. Where's the anger towards them? Hypocritical bag of shit...

Second Guessing - A Christmas Pasttime!

I don't think Shank has ever had a firm grasp on 'good ideas':

Might be good idea to keep Gronkowski on bench now

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 24, 2017

Jerkoff Tweets, By Dan Shaughnessy

Second half Bills / Patriots tweets, presented without comment:

NFL just overturned David Tyree catch and declared Patriots winners of SB XLII

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 24, 2017

Just give Patriots the game

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 24, 2017

Discordant Tweets, By Dan Shaughnessy

The brontosaurus of the dying newspaper industry doesn't seem to think we notice when he says two completely different things about the same close game within 40 minutes of each other.

Bills paying attention. They knew enough to make the Patriots take the ball to start the game. No double score today. Wonder where Alex G is watching from?

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 24, 2017

Embarrassing two play calls by Bills. This is why everybody sucks against the Patriots. #Cans

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 24, 2017

The only thing that should be embarrassing is Shank not feeling that emotion for saying the same god damn thing week after week, year after year.

And Now For More Boston Globe Bashing - LXVI

So there's been a major federal tax cut signed into law, which will benefit most taxpayers and corporations, now that the cost of capital have been reduced. Guess which newspaper has a problem with it?

Trump’s shoutout to Bob Kraft raises questions

The GOP tax overall is so incredible for business owners and the economy, Patriots owner Robert Kraft is building a factory in North Carolina. It’s going to be a beautiful thing!

That’s at least the story President Trump is selling.

Trump told the world Friday that Kraft, whose family firm owns Rand-Whitney along with other paper and packaging businesses, called him Thursday to talk up the $1.5 trillion tax cut that Republicans whisked to Trump’s desk. Because of the bill, Trump said, his buddy in Foxborough is going to buy “a big plant” in North Carolina and will build a “paper products plant” there.

Are you guys mad because your newspaper's not getting bailed out?

And yes, Shank retweeted this because it's critical of Bob Kraft. Keep it classy, Shank!

And Now For More Boston Globe Bashing - LXV

Boston Globe ass-covering weasel editor Brian McGrory issues a half-assed and unconvincing apology about not naming one of their three employees accused of sexual harassment:

We published a story on Dec. 8 about news organizations, including the Globe, facing sexual misconduct issues in their midst as they cover these issues elsewhere. The story noted that a Globe journalist was “pressured into resigning” after misconduct accusations were made against him.

At the time, Globe editors chose not to publicly identify the journalist. We believed that we were adhering to our journalistic principles, standards on sourcing, and sense of basic fairness. We believed that the misconduct was not at the level of what we had been covering and uncovering in other organizations. We didn’t believe we had definitive proof to name him in a news story.

Time and circumstances in this extraordinary national movement have given us, or at least me, a different perspective.

That's because he got his ass kicked over his world-class hypocrisy, and they're still not naming the other two. Until they do that, they're still world class hypocrites, and I expect nothing else from leftists.

Also - I wonder why they've turned off the comments to that article?

In Case You Were Wondering

Shank still hates Robert Kraft:

During the bill-signing Friday morning, President Trump said, “A friend of mine, Bob Kraft, called me last night. He said this tax bill is incredible.” https://t.co/IPG7Ip55zn

— The Boston Globe (@BostonGlobe) December 22, 2017

Of course he did . . . https://t.co/EJgtYElV9K

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 22, 2017

Open Mouth, Insert Foot

Sometimes you need to think through the potential ramifications of what you say and write:

One of the most depressing things I have read. Fanboy journalism wins. Let’s all just be team websites. #pathetic https://t.co/jX5cbkPxoX

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 22, 2017

What if a team owner bought the local city newspaper that covers his team, as well as the cable channel that carries all the regular season games? How “objective” could that be?

— Red Sox 24/7 (@SaltPointer) December 22, 2017

I can pinpoint your columns for the next year: Tomato cans, Seymour HOF, BB overrated, Best Buddies, Al Davis was the greatest, Red Sox owners can't do wrong, Brady is a system QB - you guys are from the 80's your Delorian is calling

— FITNESS247 (@onetime72) December 22, 2017

Another Early Christmas Present For Shank

When Shank gets to stir the pot, clear out of the kitchen!

Rock ‘n’ roll folklore holds that Yoko Ono broke up the Beatles, just as Svengali Dr. Eugene Landy took Brian Wilson away from the Beach Boys.

If you're under 40, do you a) know or b) care about Yoko Ono or the fucking Beach Boys?

And now here in Boston we have faux doctor Alex “Yoko” Guerrero (thank you, Greg Bedard, Boston Sports Journal) threatening the longstanding ties that bind the world champion Patriots.

I exaggerate, of course. That’s what we do here in the toy department. Still, it’s a mistake to follow the lead of the formidable New England Patriots media cartel (where most everyone either works for the team or is afraid of the team) and insists that the presence of Tom Brady’s guru Guerrero is no threat to break up the band at Gillette.

And now he starts laying it on thick:

But there are storm clouds over Gillette.

Tom is the greatest of all time. But he is increasingly vested in the power and promotion of TB12 and all things Guerrero.

Bill is the greatest coach of all time and has the power to order fans to leap off the Zakim Bridge. But he did not get his way with Garoppolo back in October (no way Belichick wanted to trade the kid) and — in a move that may or may not be related — clearly doesn’t want the rest of his team under the spell of Guerrero.

It’s hard to blame Belichick on this one. Of course he wants Tom to be happy. Putting up with Guerrero has been relatively harmless until now. But now some players are saying they’d rather do what Alex says than follow the instructions of the Patriots training staff. Almost half of the Patriots players are now working out on their own time with Guerrero.

There's more at the link and probably worth reading. I think Guerrero is, um, shady but whatever he's doing with Brady seems to be working.

And Now For More Boston Globe Bashing - LXIV

Gearing up for a Profile in Courage Award?

Brian McGrory canceled his weekly Wednesday interview with Jim and Margery on NPR today.

— Kirk and Callahan (@KirkAndCallahan) December 20, 2017

Gee - I wonder why he cancelled?

UPDATE AT 2:00 PM - The Catholic League piles on:

Catholic League president Bill Donohue comments on the Boston Globe‘s practice of keeping confidential the names of employees charged with sexual abuse:

In the 1970s, a senior editor at the Boston Globe was known to sexually harass young female workers. He would ply them with alcohol and then make advances. More important, he was not the only one who preyed on women. But nothing was done to stop him, or the others.

Sexual abuse is still going on at the Globe. In March, a young woman employee filed a complaint against a male journalist with human resources. She said he propositioned her to have sex with his wife. But nothing came of it. One year ago, the same man propositioned her to have sex with him. He was allowed to stay on the job, until, that is, more accusations were made against him from outside the office.

So who is he? The Globe refuses to say. They declared this to be a “confidential personnel matter.”

If it weren't for double standards, the Boston Globe would have no standards at all.

This Will Be Good For A Few Shank Columns

One of Shank's targets retired last year, and he'll soon get his own reality show:

If we learned anything about David Ortiz during his 20-year career in Major League Baseball, it was that he like cameras. Ortiz was a media favorite, a staple of local and national advertising, and the guy most likely to run onto the field during the Home Run Derby holding a Gatorade bottle. So it’s no surprise he plans to stay on camera in retirement, even beyond his gig as an analyst on Fox’s postseason baseball coverage.

The cable network Fusion announced Tuesday that it will partner will Ortiz on a new 10-part reality series called “Big Papi Needs a Job,” in which the former slugger tests out professions such as dog groomer, manicurist, and musician in search of a new career.

How about a Boston Globe sports columnist? It can't be any worse than what we have now...

And Now For More Boston Globe Bashing - LXIII

It seems the Boston Globe is real eager to publicize local media's run-ins with accusations of sexual harassment:

The Globe has written stories about individuals such as WBUR’s Tom Ashbrook, Boston union leader Tyrek Lee, and NESN anchor Marc James, who exchanged texts with a woman who turned down his requests for a date.

More on James in a minute, but would you care to guess the organization that the Boston Globe refuses to name about a 'prominent State House reporter'?

A PROMINENT BOSTON GLOBE State House reporter, who was the subject of an internal sexual harassment complaint, was forced out last month after reporters and editors at the paper learned he allegedly initiated inappropriate communications with women who work on Beacon Hill, who were fearful of rebuffing his advances outright because of his position, say sources.

Someone put two and two together:

According to sources familiar with the situation, Jim O’Sullivan, a longtime State House fixture who had been one of the Globe’s leading political reporters, was forced to resign after Globe reporters were alerted during the course of reporting on sexual harassment in the Legislature that he had uncomfortable and unwanted written communications with at least one woman, and possibly a second, who had work-related dealings with the Globe. It’s unclear whether the women worked in state government or in some other capacity on Beacon Hill.

The forced resignation came eight months after O’Sullivan was the subject of a complaint to the Globe’s human resources department by a young woman who worked at the paper. The internal incident was detailed as part of a larger story the Globe ran on December 8 about sexual harassment in the media. O’Sullivan was not named in the article, which referred only to a “male employee” journalist at the paper, a decision that has stirred controversy because of the Globe’s coverage of the so-called #MeToo movement and its willingness to name names in covering other incidents.

And why won't the Boston Globe acknowledge this or name the reporter?

In his memo to staff, McGrory defended his decision as a matter of standards.

Standards, as in 'double standard'! It's also clear that there may be at least two others, and the Globe has clammed up on those names as well. Someone else will have to step up and report the names; the Globe won't do it.

Now this part's worrisome - about Marc James, it's reported that his 'crime' was being turned down for what seems to be two or more requests for a date. If that's all it was, do we really want to criminalize men asking women for dates and / or characterizing it as sexual harassment? If that's the case, it's clear this #MeToo thing has gotten way out of hand.

I did a little more digging about Marc James, and the harassment charge stems from him snapping and flipping out on the woman after he was turned down. I'm leaving the above paragraph up because it seems to me that this issue is now 'trial by social media' in which every accused man is deemed guilty and his career ruined, and I don't think we're far away from criminalizing or browbeating men for asking a woman out on a date. There's a reason books like this one get written.

Boring The Audience

I'd really love to know the hour to hour ratings for some of these shows; I can't imagine this particular segment getting anything stratospheric, given this thrilling content.

On with @ZoandBertrand today from 10-12. Final playing of Mitch Miller and the Gang for this Christmas season. Will ask Zo about Terrible Towel placed on floor of aisle on my flight home from Pittsburgh.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 19, 2017

The One Where The Patriots Beat The Steelers Again

You want a real Shank / Patriots bandwagon column? Here you go:

PITTSBURGH — When, oh when, will they ever learn?

When it comes to Patriots-Steelers, the Patriots will always win. It doesn’t matter if the game appears to have gone the other way. It doesn’t matter if the Steelers are playing at home and seem to have scored a winning touchdown with only 34 seconds remaining.

In the end, the Patriots will come into Steeltown and they will cut the Steelers’ hearts right out of their puffed-up chests. And they will send Pittsburgh’s proud fans into pigskin therapy.

Now He's Just Messin' With Us

Adrian Gonzalez was traded from the L.A. Dodgers to the Atlanta Braves yesterday. I'm pretty sure Shank's not serious here, right?

@Dan_Shaughnessy Now that Braves have acquired and are planning on DFAing "The Cooler", any rumblings of a Boston reunion?

— Jon Tapper (@TapperJonathan) December 16, 2017

He’s tanned, rested and ready to come back to Boston. The Cooler. The Sequel https://t.co/gSIfZJSEbz

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 16, 2017

No Worries, Mate

Are you worried about Sunday's Patriots game at the Steelers? Fear not, intrepid reader - Shank's here to assuage your fears:

Patriots-Steelers. This is epic. It’s is a classic clash of football cultures.

The Patriots do things quietly. The Steelers are loud.

Bill Belichick and the Patriots pretend it’s just another game. Mike Tomlin and the Steelers go into Hype Overdrive.

But we know how it will unfold. After all the news and noise, the Patriots will go into Pittsburgh and cut the Steelers’ hearts out. Again.

No tomato cans this week, Shank?

Truth be told, he makes a solid argument - worth reading in full, and we don't say that very often around here.

Nattering Nabob Of Negativity

Where would anyone ever get the impression that Boston sports reporters & columnists are among the most negative people in the United States?

On today with @ZoandBertrand from 10-12. Lots of Sox bashing and some good Tomlin stuff. Plus Mitch Miller and the Gang.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 14, 2017

Oh - that's where!

A Christmas Card From Shank To Tom Brady

Dear Tom:

Remember when I used the pages of the Boston Globe to call you a cheater?

We're good now, right?

Your pal,

Shank

Admit it, Patriots fans. You never even think about Tom getting hurt anymore. It doesn’t matter that he’s 40 and it doesn’t matter that he gets hit a lot. Tom seems to know just how to fall. Tom preaches pliability. He knows how to sense danger when the pocket is collapsing.

Bill Belichick is certainly confident about Brady’s health. After getting a look at Brady this summer, the Hoodie was comfortable trading Jacoby Brissett. A few months later, Bill shook up the Patriot universe again, trading The Future — Jimmy Garappolo — to San Francisco.

Give it time - Shank will be second guessing that trade soon enough.

And Now For More Boston Globe Bashing - LXI

As Larry Bird once said to Chuck Person, Merry Fucking Christmas!

The Herald's bankruptcy filing reports that among the debts the paper owes is an estimated $600,000 to the Boston Globe for "trade services," i.e., the cost of printing the Herald on its Taunton printing presses.

Red Sox Respond To The Yankees

Glad that whole Giancarlo Stanton situation's been resolved:

Red Sox have answered Yankee moves. Take that, Yanks! https://t.co/pBB6Edl17H

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 13, 2017

So long, Bud — Sam Adams is the new official beer of the Red Sox https://t.co/FqnkfTPxz5

— The Boston Globe (@BostonGlobe) December 13, 2017

A Tale Of Two Tweets

Before:

Game over early again.
Pats win flip. Defer to second half.
Get ready for the double score.
We're on to Pittsburgh

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 12, 2017

...and after:

Sure this was bad, but it really changed nothing https://t.co/acr0Hw3CxH via @BostonGlobe

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 12, 2017

Shots Fired!

Did Peter Abraham, Shank's colleague at the Boston Globe, just flip him off? It sure looks that way!

Shank, two days ago:

With the Patriots headed to Minneapolis for the Super Bowl and the Celtics off to a near-historic start, the local baseball team does nothing day after day.

Peter Abraham, today:

For Red Sox, making a smart acquisition — not a fast one — is what matters

LAKE BUENA VISTA, Fla. — The temptation is to demand action. The Red Sox must make a move after the Yankees traded for Giancarlo Stanton and they must do it now.

But that’s a formula for mistakes, not success.

Spring training starts on Feb. 14, more than two months from now. Making a hasty acquisition proves nothing. Making a smart acquisition, even if it takes a few weeks, is what matters. You can’t win any games in December.

That's Peter Abraham basically calling Shank an asshole.

And Now For More Boston Globe Bashing - LX

Why are nearly all liberal / leftist institutions chock full of men sexually harassing women?

The department had a “culture problem,” said Linda Henry, the Globe’s managing director. “It had become a boys’ club.”

The Globe has since made a number of management changes across the business side of the organization.

Translation - 'We shitcanned a bunch of men.'

And the result:

The Globe’s review continued after the watershed Weinstein revelations. Henry has been meeting internally with women at the newspaper to discuss workplace culture, as part of the unfolding national discourse on sexual harassment, a movement often referred to by the hashtag #MeToo.

In a number of informal interviews over the past two weeks for this story, women at the Globe had overall positive things to say about the current work culture in the news department where three of the top five jobs are held by women, and 22 of the 44 managers are women. Some have worked here for years and said they had never seen anything that would constitute harassment. Henry said different departments at the Globe seem to have their own cultures, and she was convinced the newsroom climate is “not one of sexual harassment or sexism.”

Which will be fine until the Globe joins the Boston Herald in the financial graveyard.

DHL Dan LXIII - Hot Stove Whining

It was announced about nine hours ago that the New York Yankees have acquired top free agent Giancarlo Stanton. About two hours ago Shank's already complaining about the Red Sox not responding to it:

■ Giancarlo Stanton is about to become a Yankee. This is big, people. The Yankees now have two guys who combined for 111 homers last season. It’s back to Mantle-Maris, circa 1961. The addition of Stanton gives the Bronx Bombers a lineup that includes Stanton, Aaron Judge, Gary Sanchez, Didi Gregorius, Brett Gardner, Greg Bird, and Aaron Hicks. The Sox will need more than electronic devices to beat that team. Stanton’s popups to right will be homers in Yankee Stadium. With Derek Jeter helping his old team, the deal is already being compared to Kevin McHale sending Kevin Garnett to the Celtics. Meanwhile, could the Boston baseball winter be any more boring? With the Patriots headed to Minneapolis for the Super Bowl and the Celtics off to a near-historic start, the local baseball team does nothing day after day. And it’s trouble that both Shohei Ohtani and Stanton put Boston on the no-fly list. Guess not everybody wants to play here anymore.

First thing - I continue to be amazed at Shank's ability (and his complete unreasonableness) to whine and bitch about stuff like this. Second thing - I checked a few news stories about this trade (see here and here and here), and I'm unable to verify Shank's hyperbolic statement that "Stanton put Boston on the no-fly list". That's just Shank throwing gas on the fire that he started. Some rational thought on Boston's response can be found here.

From there, it's more baseball stuff and yet another unprofessional criticism of Robert Kraft. Why does he continue to call him Amos Alonzo? Probably because he's still pissed at that Super Bowl breakfast snub from 1996, that's why.

Things that Shank has already written about two dozen times:

■ The AFC has only two good teams and it’s hard to believe the Patriots will be tested any time in January. Most likely to challenge New England is probably the not-so-talented Ravens, because they have two things no one else has: a coach (John Harbaugh) and quarterback (Joe Flacco) who don’t lose their minds at the sight of Bill Belichick and Tom Brady.

He didn't notice when McGwire and Sosa were hitting all those home runs but he notices it now:

■ Adderall is on the list of banned substances in major league baseball, but according to Sports Illustrated’s L. Jon Wertheim, a 2013 report stated that 119 major league players had obtained “therapeutic use exemptions,” allowing for a prescription and absolvement from any tests detecting the banned substance. That’s almost 10 percent of the MLB workforce with a permission slip allowing a banned substance. Hmm.

Bonus - Larry Bird sighting!

Holy Shit

Looks like the lefties and so-called social justice warriors continue their attempts to rewrite history.

The issue is this: In the eyes of some, the Crusader nickname is offensive to non-Christians. Some folks see it as a symbol of slaughters during the 11th century Holy Wars between the Christians and Muslims. Others would argue that a Crusader is simply someone who is fighting for a cause. Webster’s dictionary uses both definitions.

First - so what if a mere name is 'offensive' to someone else? Has a crime been committed, like shouting 'Fire!' in a theatre? In this country we have a First Amendment which implies a right to offend, as Frank Zappa used to note with a label on some of his album covers. The first time I encountered this notion of 'being offended' was in 1993, working a temp. job for Massport. Something happened (I can't remember the contents of the conversation), and one of the weenies I was working with said 'I find that offensive'. I shot him a 'are you serious?' look and walked away, never thinking that this notion would be used in the ensuing decades to effectively curtail speech. In fact, I will amplify my own speech if it offends someone or some people I don't like just to spite them, much like I have been doing with this blog for eight years now with respect to Dan Shaughnessy.

Second, anyone bothering to research the issue for more than five minutes would realize the Crusades began "in response to centuries of Muslim wars of expansion. Their objectives were to check the spread of Islam, to retake control of the Holy Land in the eastern Mediterranean, to conquer pagan areas, and to recapture formerly Christian territories; they were seen by many of their participants as a means of redemption and expiation for sins". I say this as an avowed atheist, who shouldn't give two flying fucks about two groups who go to war with each other over whose book is holier than the other's book. My primary objection is to rewriting and ignoring history by the unwashed hordes of rock dumb Americans who grew up reading Chomsky and Zinn thinking this country is irredeemably racist, sexist, homophobic and bigoted, filled with descendants of slaveholders, Southern rednecks who love NASCAR and pig roasts, and 'climate change' deniers. They can all go jump into Boston Harbor, preferably in a few more weeks during a 'Noreaster.

Third, my high school, Manchester Memorial High School, is nicknamed - you guessed it! - The Crusaders. At least they haven't folded, yet.

This is a tricky issue in this day and age. I live in a town famous for having elementary school kids engage in a recess “tug-of-peace” because “tug-of-war” is too aggressive.

Students writing for the Holy Cross newspaper recently stated, “Why would we not consider changing something that takes away from the experience of our community, even if it is just a single person who takes issue?’’

Many institutions have gone down this path in the last 40 years. The Dartmouth Indians became the Big Green. The St. John’s Redmen became the Red Storm. The UMass Redmen became the Minutemen. The Washington Bullets became the Wizards. The Washington Redskins argument is never going away, and we can all pretty much agree that the Cleveland Indians’ hideous Chief Wahoo is racist — even though everybody in Cleveland seems to love the goofy little guy.

I am not in agreement with the notion that “if one person is offended, we should change things.’’ That’s a black hole from which we can never be rescued. But there’s certainly validity in the opinion that “Crusader” is offensive to some.
...
I know where most of my friends and Holy Cross classmates stand on this. They don’t want to change. And when I ran into Tommy Heinsohn at the Garden last weekend, it was no surprise to hear Tommy’s outrage about the suggestion.

“It’s nonsense,’’ said the Celtics legend (Holy Cross, 1956). “Political correctness. Gimme a break.

So you have two choices - bend over for a bunch of whining, poorly read leftist zombies every time the pacifier falls from their mouth, or tell them in no uncertain terms to go fuck themselves, for the reasons noted above.

Rehashed Radio?

I'm wondering how much of his (and Tara Shaughnessy's) column(s) was rehashed earlier today:

On with @ZoandBertrand today from 11-1. It's pre-party for Zo getting Voice of Boston tonight when he Makes the Globies Great Again. House of Blues at 6:30 tonight.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 5, 2017

Introducing Tara 'Shaughnessy'

Look at the crap the newest sports Globie is trying to sell you:

Kudos to the Patriots. But shame on the rest of the AFC East
...
But shame on the rest of the AFC East.

Shame on you Bills, and Dolphins, and Jets, for making this so easy for the Patriots for so many years now, for turning in season after season of futility and inability to match wits, never mind quarterbacks, with the best-run franchise in the NFL, for living so consistently in the shadow of a Belichick-Brady combination that yes, will go down as the greatest combination of coach and athlete our sports landscape has ever known, but has been able to flourish because everyone else just wilts.

If you're of the camp that winning percentages is the most objective measure of success or failure, this is simply an ignorant statement. We go through this shit every fucking year with Shank, and now it has spread to the newest member of the Titantic Globe's sports bureau. Look at the current win totals for 2016 / 2017 - the AFC East is second in total wins (26) to the NFC South, with 28 wins. Look at the prior year - the AFC East is third in total wins (36) behind the AFC West (38) and the NFC East (39). Look at 2015 / 2016 - the AFC East and NFC South are tied with 36, with the AFC East being the only division with three teams at or above the .500 mark.

The recent re-emergence of Super Bowl wins for the Patriots has forced Shank Shaughnessy (and now his sidekick) to sing this 'AFC East Sucks!' tune because the old assertion that the 'Patriots simply aren't that good' doesn't sell anymore.

...but that neither team could either turn it into a championship run or find a way to build on the breakthrough is as much a testament to their failure as credit to the Patriots’ success.

By what measure, total wins? Between crap like this and the mindless 'Tomato Can' labeling, it's little wonder why the media's been taking a heavy beating recently.

UPDATE AT 5:20 PM- Bruce Allen (formerly of Boston Sports Media Watch) piles on:

Welcome, @Globe_Tara but this column has already been written a few dozen times by your new colleague @Dan_Shaughnessy. We were hoping for something original. https://t.co/eclz9mU4w0

— Bruce Allen (@bruceallen) December 4, 2017

Mountain Out Of A Molehill - IV

The New England Patriots won in a convincing fashion yesterday, 23 - 3. Leave it to Shank to focus entirely on the one bad play of the game for the Patriots.

Rob Gronkowski deserves a suspension for his cheap shot on Bills cornerback Tre’Davious White late in the fourth quarter of the Patriots’ 23-3 victory in Buffalo Sunday.

There. Was that so hard?

This is not to say we don’t like Rob Gronkowski. He is one of the best tight ends in the history of football. When healthy, Gronk is virtually unstoppable. He’s also a fun goof who donates to charity, engages fans, and has never been in trouble with the local authorities. He has been a great Patriot and a good citizen and teammate. He’s a Hall of Famer.

More at the link, if you can stomach it.

UPDATE AT 3:55 PM - Gronk's suspended for one game, and Gronk says he will appeal.

Blistering Hot Takes, By Dan Shaughnessy

When it comes to NFL football, Shank's comments are... predictable:

Pats win toss. Defer. Double score is set up for end of first half and beginning of second. Now wait for first Patriot fumble to magically bounce into hands of Patriots.
Nothing ever changes.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 3, 2017

Including his tweets!

Bills starting QB injured on first play of game.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 3, 2017

Presumably right after the Eric Lee interception:

Nice job Bills. The stupidity is like clockwork. So this game is over.
We're on to Miami,

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 3, 2017

Blistering Hot Take

It looks like Shank's recovered from his Belichick hissy fit earlier this week.

There was a run on these at Shaw’s this morning. Folks getting ready for another AFC East game. pic.twitter.com/ZtflNWfO1G

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 3, 2017

Reader reaction was less than constructive:

You desperately need some new material

— Jon Alexander (@JAlexander80) December 3, 2017

I don’t remember this rant when Bird, Parrish and McHale were plowing through the NBA most nights. Happy to be old enough to enjoy both.

— Mark (@me4bostonsports) December 3, 2017

That was slightly funny the first couple hundred times you used it. Enough. #wornout

— Stephen Marsella⚾ (@SPM316) December 3, 2017

Dan is working on a kids book. “Little Tom and the March of The Tomato Cans” .

— BizzaroFelger(@Sports_Schlub) December 3, 2017

We should be so lucky!

Rearranging The Deck Chairs On The Titantic

Looks like there's a new Globie on the sports staff:

Tara Sullivan, The Boston Globe. pic.twitter.com/d5VK6qPxNq

— tara sullivan (@Globe_Tara) December 3, 2017

Mountain Out Of A Molehill - III

Shank decided to stir the pot an entire day after the incident happened:

Now that we have that out of the way, let me say that there’s no place for Belichick’s boorish, bullying response to a fair question regarding not taking Tom Brady out at the end of Sunday’s blowout vs. the chippy, dirty Dolphins. Furthermore, it’s fair to ask if maybe the Patriots are being arrogant and reckless in the belief that New England’s 40-year-old quarterback is impervious to injury and the aging issues that impact the rest of humanity.

Belichick was out of bounds when he dismissed the Boston Herald’s Karen Guregian for asking about maybe taking Brady off the field when it was 35-17 with less than five minutes left. Meanwhile, Brady and the Patriots — in their cult-like belief that Tom cannot get hurt — are asking for trouble by continuing to expose Brady to unnecessary assaults. Like the 1972 Dolphins, Father Time is undefeated.

I saw that segment live and didn't think it was an overly harsh response from Belichick; in fact, it's the type of response we've come to expect from Belichick when he thinks a question is excessively stupid.

Shank noted but didn't seem too busted up about an earlier Belichick press conference:

On Friday, Belichick was asked about the performance of Austin Carr, an undrafted rookie who made highlight reels with his impressive catch at training camp Thursday. Sounds like an innocent question, right? Well instead of offering some platitude about how Carr looked good and the team was excited to see what he could do, Belichick totally rejected the premise.

Here was his response, via the Boston Globe’s Ben Volin:

Shank's trying to start a fire in the absence of kindling. It's not going to catch.

Shank On Dave Cowens

Funny that we're now seeing multiple Celtics themed columns in recent weeks; it can't be due to the recent sixteen game winning streak, can it?

Former Celtics center Dave Cowens will be honored by The Sports Museum at “The Tradition” Tuesday night at the New Garden.

Celtics fans of a certain age need no introduction to Dave Cowens. This is for “the others.’’

That would be like the vast majority of his columns over the decades.

If you didn’t live it, if you didn’t see him play, it’s difficult to explain the essence of Cowens the Celtic. But it has always struck me that Cowens might be the most unappreciated superstar in Celtics history.

Stirring The Pot, Are We?

It should be well established fact by now that Tom Brady does not voluntarily come out of a football game, so why do we get this tweet?

35-17. 3:19 left. Brady still in the game.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 26, 2017

Time For A Supid Tweet

Just after the New England Patriots scored their first touchdown, we get this:

Well, that was fun.
We're on to Buffalo

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 26, 2017

Time For A Stupid Debate

Here we go again - the semi-annual 'Which local team is better?' discussion:

Are the Celtics the No. 2 team in town? Have they vaulted over the Red Sox?

This may not sound like a big deal to some of you, but it is. I can’t remember a time when the Red Sox were not first or second in the market.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot in recent days. The argument is relatively meaningless and totally subjective, but lately I’ve found myself wondering if the upstart 2017-18 Celtics are more popular and relevant than the 117-year-old baseball team that just completed back-to-back, first-place, 93-win seasons.

Calm down - it's pretty easy for one team to be the flavor of the day when they've gone on a sixteen game winning streak and the other hasn't played a game for about two months.

DHL Dan LXII - Profiles In Laziness

There's two today - myself for taking two days to note the following: Shank's second mailed-in column this week. Must he that Thanksgiving Week thing!

Picked-up pieces while waiting for another good NFL player to quit his bad team, threaten to retire, then magically show up in Foxborough, born again as a Patriot . . .

■ I am OK with almost any change in sports as long as the Lions continue to be on TV every Thanksgiving.

■ Joe Morgan’s letter to Hall of Fame voters (keep the steroid cheaters out!) is late and too simple. Nothing about this issue gets more clear as time passes.

■ Admit it, Patriot fans. Deep down you wish Bob Kraft had been the one to take on Roger Goodell instead of Jerry Jones. You loved feisty Bob showing up for the Super Bowl in Arizona, demanding apologies, and commissioning “The Wells Report In Context.”

DHL Dan LXI - The Really Awesome Patriots!

Who amongst you out there believes a single word of this?

The Patriots are a team unlike any other team, playing in a league unlike any other league. They have changed the concept of spectator sports for us, extracting the time-tested notion of what might happen on any given Sunday. For Patriots fans, every week is Groundhog Week.

I got out of bed Monday morning to the sound of radio guys talking about how great the Patriots are and how stupid the Raiders were on Sunday. I heard that the Patriots are 17-point favorites against the Miami Dolphins this Sunday at Gillette. I picked up the morning rags and saw where Tom Brady is being compared to Michelangelo. I heard humble Tom deflecting all credit on his contractually obligated weekly radio gig. I heard more radio commentary where hosts submitted an edgy, hot-take poll question forcing Pats fans to make a choice:

1. Are the Patriots awesome?

Or . . .

2. Are the Patriots, like, really awesome?

Covering and writing about the Patriots must have become boring for Shank, so he'll try to fool the rubes with a few phony suck-up columns.

Flaw In The Argument Spotted

When you have to point out that Jay Cutler not playing next week to prove your point, you should reexamine your logic.

Chiefs gonna lose. Cutler appears out for next week. Everything going Pats way again as usual.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 19, 2017

Some followers weren't buying it:

Yeah, the way the Pats lost their number 1 receiver before season started, now Hogan out, one of better d linemen out, special teams cap out. It all just lines up for them. Imagine if they had skill, talent and coaching. Cause only opposing teams have hardship.

— Peter Prodromou(@petepro2) November 19, 2017

Yes because God knows if only the Great Jay Cutler were healthy it would make all the difference

— Greg Temmallo(@MarlboroGMan) November 19, 2017

pic.twitter.com/gVdhseQDpZ

— Jon (@CPJonGoSox) November 19, 2017

What's Old Is New Again

Apparently Shank's weekly appearances on Zo and Bertrand isn't the only place where he reuses recent column themes:

Today on #SeasonTicket: @Dan_Shaughnessy manages to quote both Napoleon Bonaparte and Sun Tzu in describing the mindset of this year's #Patriots team: https://t.co/11iZv0prwy

— WBUR (@WBUR) November 16, 2017

And, of course, Shank doesn't appear to quote Sun Tzu - it's more like the Napoleon Bonaparte quote may have aped a Sun Tzu quote, but that's it. Second - I have trouble believing Shank's read The Art of War or much of anything else.

All Aboard!

The Boston Celtics have won thirteen games in a row. Guess who's now jumping on the bandwagon?

The Celtics in Boston at this hour are more popular than free food. They are the biggest story in the NBA, their TV ratings are off the charts, and we cover them the way Fox News covers Donald Trump, the way CNN covered Barack Obama.

You're not supposed to acknowledge media bias, Shank! Didn't they teach you that at Holy Cross?

Never is heard a discouraging word. Normally skeptical reporters turn to jelly around this team. Everything is awesome. We are all Baghdad Bobs. We are all Tommy Heinsohn.

Je suis Johnny Most.

Impressive command of the French language!

Truth be told, it has me a little off my game.

The scalding Celtics play the world champion Warriors at the Garden Thursday, and New England is agog. The Celtics have won 13 in a row and the Warriors are the greatest team on the planet, perhaps the best ever assembled. Our parquet floor is suddenly the center of the NBA universe. Everything is coming up Green.

I wonder if Shank's ever heard of the 1986 Celtics?

Decades of covering teams in this town have trained me to be cynical.

No, you're just a natural born asshole.

Lord knows we’ve had a lot of championships, but there’s usually some case to be made about questionable coaching, nasty personalities in the locker room, buffoonery in the owner’s box, or a team that is more lucky than good.

And we'll always have Cynical Shank to point all of these negative things out

More Tomato Can Misinformation

Here's Shank yesterday morning:

On today with Zo and Beetle @ZoandBertrand from 11-1. Plenty of Sox in first hour. Plenty of Tomato Can talk, too.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 14, 2017

One commenter blew that one right out of the water:

Too bad AFC East is tied for 2nd in wins per division and is the only division w/ all teams winning at least 4 games and is playing NFC South who is 1st in wins

— Dudley DooRagz (@DudleyDooRagz) November 14, 2017

I'm willing to bet that if you look here from this point forward, to the end of the regular season, this point will be borne out. Remember that Shank first started using the 'tomato can' insult against the other three teams in the AFC East division (Buffalo, Miami and the New York Jets). He's since expanded it to include all NFL teams not named the New England Patriots. I'm not sure if Shank would continue to use the phrase even if you hit him over the head with these numbers (because he hates numbers), but I wouldn't put it past him.

There's also a commenter here that pointed this out - this fact (AFC East win totals being greater than all others) has held for the past ten years (the end year being 2015 or 2016) even if you adjust for removing the Patriots / other top division winner from this total. Unfortunately I can't find that post right now. To some extent, Shank is oblivious to certain facts, especially the numeric ones.

Meeting The Deadline

When you're out in Denver with a deadline to meet, this is how you do it - write the majority of the column beforehand, adding unconfirmed speculation to make it interesting:

DENVER — Pay attention, Patriots fans.

You want Bill Belichick to stick around? I think I have the solution.

Belichick is climbing the ladder of NFL coaching legends. The Patriots’ stunningly easy 41-16 victory over the once-tough Denver Broncos Sunday night was Bill’s 270th career win, tying him with Cowboys legend Tom Landry for third place on the all-time list. The only guys ahead of him are George Halas (324) and Don Shula (347), whom Belichick hates.

...insert a paragraph or two of predictable responses by coach Bill Belichick:

An hour after it was over, I tried and failed to get Bill to talk about the meaning of his new ranking among the elite NFL coaches.

“Look, it’s flattering, but honestly, I don’t think that’s the story tonight,’’ he answered. “The story tonight is the way our team performed. To win games in this league you need great players and I’ve been fortunate to have some great players and a lot of great assistant coaches and great staffs. That’s really what it’s about. The players are the ones that make the plays and they did it tonight.’’

...and voila!

The Shaughnessy Conundrum

Does Shank continue last year's fake Patriots praise and tell you how awesome the team is, or does he fall back on the tried and true 'tomato can' defense?

“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.’’

— Napoleon Bonaparte

Who knew Shank was a history buff?

DENVER — Here we are. Midseason. The Patriots are coming off their bye week, and everything is teed up for another Super Bowl run.

Despite all the stuff that has happened to the Patriots, they have the best record in the AFC (6-2, tied with Pittsburgh, but who ever worries about them?) and the best path to Super Bowl LII in Minneapolis.

Once again, while the Patriots were not playing, everything that could possibly help them is what happened. The Chiefs lost to the Cowboys. The Bills lost to the Jets. The Dolphins lost to the Raiders. The Ravens lost to the Titans. The Texans lost their young star quarterback. Green Bay gave up on tight end Martellus Bennett, who was quickly snapped up by the Patriots.

Amazing.

Little Tomato Cans sitting in a row. They all fall down.

It Begins

As noted many times in the previous weeks, Shank's 'pretend to like the Patriots' act has finally run its course:

Would B nice if we didn't have media celebrating Belichick crapping on media. Scribes R there to represent fans. Same fans who want info, celebrate when Belichick gives media finger. So which is it?

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 8, 2017

There's no 'which is it?' - the fans hate the media, simple as that. Then I look at the comments and confirm this 'theory':

40 years ago Eddie Andelman's Sports Huddle exposed the lie that you guys represent the fans. We probably loathe you more than we loathe fat cat owners & players. You're parasites.

— WalterMcKinleyBetts(@HuckBetts) November 9, 2017

F the media, especially fools like you. Basically all good things are ruined by writers just trying to get clicks. Film, sports, politics, everything. Sadly the media shapes our society with their bias. I’d be fine without the dumb post game questions.

— Mark E. (@markEmarkSJS) November 9, 2017

Agree on some of these points. But was borgesrepresenting the fans when he was crapping all over Bellichickfor years?

— Jeff Metzgar(@JeffMetzgar23) November 8, 2017

So what you’re saying is only media can crap on athletes and coaches, not fair for them to do it back. Gotcha.

— Joey Gloster(@JoeyGloster) November 8, 2017

This Will Be Good For A Few Shank Columns

Due out in a few months - The Two Bills, an ESPN 30 for 30 documentary on NFL coaches Bill Parcells and Bill Belichick:

When Parcells stepped down as Jets coach after the 1999 season, he planned to have Belichick succeed him, but the day after Parcells announced his departure as coach, Belichick surprised the team by promptly announcing his resignation to a shocked media. He went to the Patriots and the rest is history.

“The Two Bills” trailer aired during the “Nature Boy” film and will premiere sometime this winter. With the cooperation of NFL Films, “The Two Bills” includes interviews with Giants legend Harry Carson and Hall of Fame linebacker Lawrence Taylor, who said Belichick should have followed Parcells as Giants head coach.

The documentary brings Parcells and Belichick together in one room for a rare interview. We’ll see how cordial the two Bills are after all of the history between them.

I'm guessing 'next to none'!

There's one question I think we agree ought to be asked - which Bill ordered the disinvite to Shank on that Patriots / Green Bay Packers Super Bowl Party?

What's interesting here is the italicized part above. When the New England Patriots played in their second Super Bowl in 1997, the Patriots threw a party and Shank was not invited. We believe this to be the point where Shank became a lifelong bête noire of the Patriots. If he disliked the Patriots at that point (or, more specifically, owner Robert Kraft), this snub was the proverbial nail in the coffin.

World Series Wrapup

Shank takes the 2017 World Series seven game victory by the Houston Astros to tell the readers of his own favorite World Series matchups. The pictures in the article are nothing more than self-aggrandizement.

This will shock precisely no one reading this, but of the ten he mentions, one involved a Red Sox win (2004) and two others involved Red Sox losses (1975 and 1986).

Stupid Patriots Tweets, By Dan Shaughnessy

As the New England Patriots enjoy their bye week, Shank stirs the pot one or two more times:

QB’s of every Team that’s a threat to Patriots will be out for playoffs. Derek Carr last yr. Rodgers, nowWatson. Like clockwork #tomato cans

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 2, 2017

Watson hurt Bills lose. Another good day for Pats. Stand there and do nothing works every time for New England. #TheyAllFallDown.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 3, 2017

The Patriots have beaten the Texans like rented mules for the past three or four years, but Shank's trying to convince everybody that they're the real deal? What a hack!

The Predictable, Parochial Shaughnessy

Sometimes you read columns by Shank and your only reaction is to shake your head and go on to something far more worthwhile. After LA won Game 6 of the World Series, Shank comes out with a perfectly lame and predictable column:

LOS ANGELES — And so we will have a seventh game.

Could this Fall Classic have ended any other way?

Wonder who will be the World Series’ new “Mr. November”?

The staggered and stunned Los Angeles Dodgers recovered from Game 5 trauma (a 13-12 loss in 10 innings) and beat Justin Verlander, 3-1, Tuesday night to square this 113th World Series at three games apiece. The 101-win Houston Astros and the 104-win Dodgers will meet in the ultimate game Wednesday night at Chavez Ravine.

The ’Stros, a team born the same year Dodger Stadium was built, will be trying to lift hurricane-ravaged Houston with the city’s first World Series championship.

The vaunted Dodgers, hardball royalty for more than a century, are looking for their first championship in 29 years.

And no one has any idea how any of it will turn out.

Once Game 7 was won by the Houston Astros, Shank comes out with this beauty. Did you know the real underlying theme of the series? It's all about New England!

LOS ANGELES — The Houston Astros won their first World Series title with a 5-1, Game 7 victory over the Dodgers at Wednesday night at Dodger Stadium.

The 113th Fall Classic featured a record 25 home runs, two unforgettable extra-inning games, and brought happiness and hope to a city devastated by Hurricane Harvey in August.
Now I am going to tell you how this epic clash was actually all about New England. It was about the Red Sox. It was about the Boston baseball experience.

Let us count the ways:

No, we won't. To me, this is pure unprofessional garbage. That Shank is simply too classless to set his massively oversized ego aside and give the Houston Astros their due is an insult to this reader and a lot of other readers. Unless we're reading just to say 'Yup - typical asshole / provincial Shaughnessy'.

Shank Has It All Figured Out

That's what he wants us to think:

So now Denver sucks which means next game for no Jimmy G Pats will be another Tomato Can game. We’re on to Minneapolis.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 31, 2017

A few followers can't read / disagree with this assessment:

What is the English translation for this tweet?

— Debbie Amorelli(@djamorelli) October 31, 2017

Except they always play like shit in Denver. Try to pretend that you watch the team.

— Andy (@FantasyCapper) October 31, 2017

You guys all realize he’s a troll right?

— Johnny Fontane(@JohnnyFontane1) October 31, 2017

Why, yes. Yes we do!

The One Where I Agree With Shank

When he's right, he's right:

HOUSTON — Best World Series game ever?

Best World Series ever?

Or just a demonstration of bad pitching, juiced baseballs, and homer-happy ballparks?

A World Series is not supposed to have a Game For The Ages twice within a span of five days, but the 2017 Fall Classic already ranks as one of the best ever played and we still have one or two games left.

The Houston Astros, trying to win the first championship in the history of a franchise born in 1962, outlasted the Los Angeles Dodgers, 13-12, in 10 innings Sunday night/Monday morning to take a three-games-to-two lead in the 113th World Series, which resumes Tuesday at Dodger Stadium.

Did you know that this game had a local angle? Of course you did!

So there. The balls are juiced, the games are too long, and baseball is putting on a show unlike any other in an event that started at Boston’s Huntington Grounds back in 1903. That series was a best-of-nine, won, 5-3, by Boston. May I suggest the Dodgers and ’Stros make this a best-of-nine? Or best of 19?

Oh, and pushing the local angle a bit, I can tell you that Houston fans were chanting “Beat LA, Beat LA” when they poured out of Minute Maid Park while you were sleeping Monday morning.

Yep - it's all about Boston!

Patriots Tweets, By Dan Shaughnessy

At least Shank is sparing us the 'tomato can' / 'double score' shtick somewhat:

Chargers in Foxboro. Prepare for visitors to look across the field at Belichick and forget everything they know about football. #tomatocans

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 29, 2017

Pats win toss. Defer.
We're on to Denver.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 29, 2017

The stupidity begins: "Let's not go for 4th and 1. We are losers. Let's go for a 51 yarder and miss it.''

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 29, 2017

Well, if I recall correctly, Novak (Chargers kicker) was never known for long-distance field goals.

The Obligatory World Series Game 3 Column

Shank half-heartedly bangs out a World Series column.

HOUSTON — An Ode To The ’Stros.

The World Series returned to Houston Friday and the resurgent Astros thumped the Dodgers, 5-3, to take a two-games-to-one lead in the 113th World Series.

Lord knows there’s a lot to love about the Astros this year.

Let’s start with the obvious:

Yep, go read a Globe sports columnist for obvious takes.

And Now For More Former Boston Globe Employee Bashing

Look who's whining about the cost of inflight wifi - none other than the grandfather of fake news!

Delta flight from L.A. to NYC offers in-flight Wi-Fi for $40...That makes Delta both an airline and a criminal enterprise. #stickemupinair

— Mike Barnicle (@mikebarnicle) October 27, 2017

Have you considered reading a book during the flight instead, Mr. Barnicle, say some work of fiction by a writer about how a local mobster 'kept the drugs out of Southie'?

World Series Game 2 Recap

Looks like Shank's making up for his no-show column for Game 1.

LOS ANGELES — Baseball wins. It is 1975 all over again.

The Houston Astros and Los Angeles Dodgers, tied 1-1, will resume the 113th World Series at Minute Maid Park Friday night. But before we go there, we must pay homage to what happened at Chavez Ravine Wednesday night.

It was without doubt one of the greatest World Series games ever played. It shook the foundation of the beautiful ballpark built by the O’Malleys in 1962.

I think that's kind of a stretch. From there, it's the standard game recap and a ton of Red Sox 1975 World Series references, which seems to be his primary motivation in writing this column.

The Obligatory Rich Hill Column

You're getting a column from Shank only because the Dodgers' starting pitcher for Game 2 is a local boy.

LOS ANGELES — The kid from the Bay State League, the kid who grew up playing on Cunningham Park in Milton, started Game 2 of the World Series Wednesday night at Dodger Stadium.

Thirty-seven-year-old Rich Hill — a guy who pitched for the Cubs, Orioles, Red Sox, Indians, Angels, Yankees, A’s, and yes, even the Long Island Ducks just two years ago — got the ball for the Dodgers against Houston’s Justin Verlander.

Hill pitched four perilous innings and picked up a no-decision in a game the Astros won, 7-6, in 11 innings. The pride of Milton allowed one run on three hits and three walks while striking out seven. Hill threw only 60 pitches, but evidently manager Dave Roberts did not want to give Houston batters a third go-around vs. the Dodgers lefthander. The Dodgers were hitless vs. Verlander in the first four frames and it looked like runs were going to be at a premium in Game 2.

'Working' Vacation?

The Boston Globe sent Shank out to Los Angeles, allegedly to cover the baseball World Series. The Dodgers beat the Astros last night, 3-1.

Did Shank write a column about it? Hell, no!

Math Be Hard

Ah, the thrills of listening to 'hard core LA baseball fans':

Hard core LA baseball fans already predicting "Dodgers in Three.''

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 25, 2017

It All Makes Sense Now

From the looks of it, Shank's in LA to cover the World Series, and his conversations are as forward looking as you'd expect:

Just talked a little 1955 (Yankees-Brooklyn Dodgers) World Series with Larry King . . . Good times.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 24, 2017

When I threw this by my roommate, he quipped - 'they (the Globe) wanted him out of Boston'.

Combined age of Shaughnessy and King = 147 years.

Pro Tip To Alex Cora

Shank on the last guy he said he would never rip, exactly three years ago today:

I promise never to rip Sandoval for being out of shape or going on the disabled list.

Shank, about fifteen minutes ago:

I promised Alex Cora I’d never rip him. Then fessed up and admitted, “Actually that’s probably a lie.” pic.twitter.com/M6M2zQYuSV

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 24, 2017

If / when the Red Sox go on a four game losing streak, that will change suddenly enough.