Monday, July 28, 2008

Marching Orders

Dan's got them.

When it is time to trash a star Red Sox player, the call goes out to Shank. Who better to stick a knife in the back of a player the organization wants to be gone?

An important note: There are knee injuries that are not detectable by MRI.


Anonymous said...

An important note: There are knee injuries that are not detectable by MRI.

Of course there are. But why let that fact get in the way of Shank's column.

Anonymous said...


Follow the Money

1. Manny Always Works Hard and Does His Job to the Best of His Ability

2. Manny is Smart Enough to Always Get the Best Agent to Represent His Interests

3. Manny Is Smart Enough to Gain Leverage (hard work teaches you that)

4. To Regain a Sense of Leverage the Red Sox Have Monkey Boy put Important Corporate Talent (Manny) on Waivers

5. When that doesn't work, the Red Sox allow The Village Idiot to Humiliate Manny

6. Manny Continues to Produce

7. The Red Sox set 2 Precedents a) by Rewarding The Schill with a Farce of a Guaranteed Contract $8 million for his hard work and dedication; and b) Rewarded Monkey with a Gorilla Brain Title once he threw his Tantrum

8. Manny Works Harder and Prepares for 2008 Hoping to Get Reward of Long-term Thank You Contract

9. Red Sox Allow a matured Monkey Boy to use his Gorilla Brains by saying that if Manny Agrees to Trade they Would Trade Him

10. Village Idiot Proves He is also a Racist – “Adios Amigo!”

Bottom Line =

Manny Works Hard For His Money
Red Sox Working Hard for The Money
Red Sox Win 2 World Series (Manny is MVP of one)
Red Sox Make Ton of Money
Manny IS On the Winning Team 60%+ (check the stats during his career)
Pay Manny Like the Winner That He Is
Red Sox Are Misguided by Monkey Boy with Gorilla Brain Trying To Win The Money Game (Billy Beane) and a Village Idiot who doesn't Like What He Sees in The Mirror

Funny How Money is the Root of All Evil


Anonymous said...

"There are knee injuries that are not detectable by MRI."

Sure, but do you really believe Manny? I sure don't.

papa sime said...

Manny has a knee injury bad enough to make him miss that yankees game....then passes double MRI's, and then blows through the stop signal at third base, racing home unnecessarily.....hard to believe his knee is in too rough of shape.

when you combine that w/ the fact that most of the sox are, or have been, in rough shape for most of the just doesn't look or feel very good.

maybe his knee is less than 100%, but still....

dbvader said...

If Manny was loafing, he wouldn't have busted his ass down the first baseline on Saturday to get a run.

Anonymous said...

I know someone that has intermittent severe knee pain. Some days they are fine, some days they can barely walk. They've been to multiple doctors in multiple specialties.

Nothing has ever turned up in any of the tests.

The last guess by the doctor? That their hamstring gets so tight sometimes, that it pulls the knee ever so slightly out of alignment and this is what causes the pain.

But they don't know for sure.

Objectivebruce said...

Let me get this straight.

The current theory is that Shaughnessy is trying to further the agenda of a guy he allegedly tried to torpedo a couple of years back.

I guess venom and logic are not compatible.

bunkosquad said...

"I guess venom and logic are not compatible."

Kind of sums up Shaughnessy in a nutshell, doesn't it?

Why is the idea that Dan is leaping onto the Pigpile Du Jour so hard to imagine?

Anonymous said...

The Truth Behold ....

and Follow The Money

Monkeesfan said...

Bottom line -

The Red Sox won two WS with pitching, not Manny's bat and certainly not with Manny's stupidity.

And Manny's history of lying about his injuries makes doubling up on examinations of him necessary.

Anonymous said...

I thought the Red Sox won 2 World Series because everyone on the team prepared, worked hard, and performed to the level needed .... including the hitters.

They aren't stupid .... they just do what has to be done.

objectivebruce said...

well, bunky, since logic and venom are incompatible, at least around here, it would seem that Shaughnessy would not leap onto the pigpile de jour because he has been painted as something as a contrarian, always seeking to burst the bubble of goodness and generally off by himself with some bizarre criticism.

Now you're complaining because he's mainstreaming?

I'd suggest that when you throw slop against the wall, you might want to see if it sticks before hitting that send button.

bunkosquad said...

Painted by whom as a contrarian? You? Himself? True, he was the only one in town frowning in 2004, but that's because his Curse well was dried up and he had to go back to the drawing board.

If he gets more mileage out of being a grump, he does that. If he gets more mileage out of his over-the-top fawning aren't-we-wonderful columns (see: Pedroia, last week; Belichick, 247 times in the last five years), he does that.

The fact that Manny is unpopular this week, combined with Dan's constant demonstrated willingness to help plant a boot in someone's ass on their way out of town, is right up his alley. If he were truly contrarian, he'd write something like Adrian Walker wrote today.

But I'm sure he appreciates your lining up behind him yet again.

mike_b1 said...

Bruce, as usual you are confusing "contrarian" with "incompetence."

It's one thing to offer an opposing viewpoint. It's another thing entirely to always be wrong.

When has The CHB been right about anything? And how do you face your friends (ha!) after he writes things like "The Red Sox will win the 2003 World Series" and "The Red Sox won't win the World Series in 2004" time and again.

He's always wrong. If I were a betting man, I'd go to Vegas every time he writes a column.

roger bournival said... would seem that Shaughnessy would not leap onto the pigpile de jour because he has been painted as something as a contrarian...

I'm probably not the board's foremost Francophile, but do you mean du jour? De jour could have a whole different meaning, you know.

Oh, and Roger, pissing contests over spelling errors are beneath even you.

I'm sorry, OB, that was a major faux pas on my part! Sorry about your shoes, pal...

While we're taking turns shitting on you, care to tell us what tomorrow's Globe circulation numbers are? Thanks in advance!

Objectivebruce said...

Roger amuses me. He doesn't make much sense, and tends to go off on irrelevant tangents, but he amuses me. And that counts for something.

roger bournival said...

Does that mean no Globe circulation numbers today, OB?

Anonymous said...


Don't use "bunky," bunky. It's mine!

Your pal,


Anonymous said...

Shaughnessy doesnt amuse me. He doesn't make much sense, and tends to go off on irrelevant tangents, and ultimately he fails to amuse me. And that counts for nothing.

Anonymous said...


Not to worry, sport! VCR sales are a little down, too!

Your pal,


objectivebruce said...

Roger, kindly refer to my previous information with respect to circulation. Clearly you didn't understand a rather elementary concept the first time you read it.

Thank you Timmy! Sales of Betamaxes, Ramblers and Johnson's Self-Polishing Glo-Coat are down, too! And lots more stuff! Maybe you can make a list! To share with everybody! And Timmy: What's yours is yours, what's mine is mine. And what's Eddie Lawrence's is Eddie Lawrence's.

roger bournival said...

Roger, kindly refer to my previous information with respect to circulation. Clearly you didn't understand a rather elementary concept the first time you read it.

Which would be this part of your post, right?

The Globe sold more than 350,000 newspapers today. So much for sinking.

10:08 AM, July 26, 2008

Which means you're claiming to know the day's circulation before it's even half over, which has been pointed out by more than one observer in that thread.

The 'rather elementary concept' I understand is that you are a bereft of fact polemicist.

Perhaps I fail to understand the 'context' in which it was written. Care to expand on that?

Bill said...

Get ready for a doozy of a column by the Shankster tomorrow.

Bruce will have the circulation numbers ready by 10:00...

Anonymous said...

Any bets on the tone the Village Idiot will write with?

The Shank is a Shill for Lucchino and attacks the Boy Wonder, but at the same time he needs to humilate Manny. Interesting dynamics.

Who should be at fault here for letting a proven winner walk out the door. The Front Offcie should have avoided all this:

The Front Office needs to be accountable in this state of affairs. They miscalculated the dynamics from the start. They assumed Manny is a fool and they had the "media" power to prove it. In addition, their Plan B was to unleash the media-dirt dogs once the going got rough with the Manny Situation.

Manny is a fierce competitor and not a bumbling fool. Just ask any major league pitcher.

So, with so many “brains in the trust”, the Front Office should have anticipated that Manny would “focus within the chaos” when it came to the Money Game.

Theo should know best. He himself mastered the game when he asked to be the highest paid GM in the league because he thought he deserved it.

Manny announced his competitive intentions when he entered pre-season workouts with Pedroia & Youkolis. The Front Office should have picked up on this curve ball but they chose to wait it out with Manny.

Manny pounced on that meatball of a pitch from Theo.

And so the Red Sox sent their media giants, including Theo’s melodic partner Gammons, on the attack claiming that Manny only cares about the Money. The Game is only about the money! And Manny is trying to be the best. Isn’t that right Theo?

The Red Sox mishandled this affair. How dare the Front Office drag the fans into their bumbling mess?

Shank please don't assume that the fans are fools!

Bill said...

Have at it kids.

Monkeesfan said...

anonymous #11, pitching always beats hitting in playoffs. The Sox for 80-plus years made the mistake of falling in love with offense and thus never having strong-enough pitching for the playoffs. It took a new ownership regime and the new culture it brought to the game to change that.