So far, the tomato 🍅 can is on the other shelf.
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 24, 2018
Patriots bennnnnnnd but don't break. Prater 25 FG is good, and Lions push their lead to 13-0 with 4:58 left 2Q.
— Ben Volin (@BenVolin) September 24, 2018
Lions are out-gaining the Patriots 196 yards to 13. Lions are winning the time of possession battle, 20:46 to 4:16.
Loser move by Patricia going for FG there. This is why nobody ever beats Patriots. Patricia latest to wet his pants at the sight of Bill. More than most coaches, Patricia should know this is loser strategy vs. NE.
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 24, 2018
Patricia well-trained. Won toss and deferred. The Patriot Way.
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 24, 2018
But this will be a big-time Pats win.
Game is already over and in Detroit, they know it. Lions have won one playoff game since 1957.
Disgrace that Ramirez flyball ruled a double. What does it take to get an error these days??
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 22, 2018
NEW YORK — Are the Red Sox going to have to pack up all that champagne and take it with them to Cleveland?Why, Shank of course - why else does he keep writing columns after Red Sox losses?
Waiting for the Red Sox to clinch the American League East is starting to feel like waiting for Yaz’s 3,000th hit, or Tim Wakefield’s 200th win. It’s like waiting to close on your dream home, or waiting for Larry Bird to pick up a check.
The Sox were pummeled in the Bronx Wednesday, 10-1, and so the Magic Number — which hasn’t moved since Sunday — remains stuck at two. Boston leads the division by 9½ games with 10 to play, but the Sox have managed to breathe life into a Yankees team here this week. They’ll have only one more chance to clinch on the Yankee lawn. And suddenly the idea of facing the Yanks in October does not sound so sweet. Who wants to be the new edition of the 2001 Mariners?
NEW YORK — Put the champagne on ice for another day.
On a night when it looked like the Red Sox would clinch their third consecutive American League East title, Boston’s Raging Bullpen struck again and the Sox suffered a 3-2 defeat to the Yankees.
Brandon Workman and Ryan Brasier put a torch to Boston’s 1-0 lead in the seventh inning. Workman walked a pair before Brasier surrendered a three-run homer to Neil Walker.
So take those old records off the shelf, remove the cellophane from in front of the lockers, and get the bubbly out of the room. For at least one more day.
Jags morphing into Tomato Cans right in front of our eyes. Turnover. Gashed. Penalty. Dropped pass. Taking no time off the clock. Now punting it back to NE with short kick. We have seen this before. You can see the blood draining from their faces.
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 16, 2018
The Patriot won the toss and took the ball.
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 16, 2018
My world doesn't make sense anymore.
Picked-up pieces while working on my next segment of “Dan vs. Time” (Time is winning in a rout) . . .Well, that's a) stating the obvious, which b) we've been hearing on local talk radio for a couple of days now. Way to get out in front of a topic of conversation.
■ Sorry, Chris Sale is not worthy of the American League Cy Young Award. Sale has been great almost every time he has pitched, but the man has hurled only 147 innings. Sale is 12-4 with a 1.96 ERA. He has pitched six innings since July 27. He wins two-thirds of the Cy Young. The front-runner would be Tampa Bay’s Blake Snell, who is 19-5 with a 2.03 ERA.
How does this make you feel about “Soxtober”? https://t.co/hiz5jR0aOa
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 15, 2018
Meghann Shaughnessy was a professional tennis player for 19 years before retiring to raise a family six years ago. She was the world’s 11th-ranked female player in 2001. She played more than 1,200 professional matches, including three singles matches against Serena Williams (winning one, losing two) and seven against Venus Williams (2-5).Go read the comments if you want to read inane crap from the PC / snowflake crowd who complain about nearly everything and keep bringing up the usual bogus shit about 'sexism, 'racism' and Shank 'mansplaining'. What a bunch of fucking babies.
She was a teammate of the Williams sisters on America’s Federation Cup team captained by Billie Jean King in 2003. She played numerous matches officiated by veteran chair umpire Carlos Ramos. She is also the daughter of my brother.
By now, just about everyone other than Donald Trump (did I miss a tweet?), Alan Dershowitz, and Kendrick Lamar has published an opinion piece about Serena Williams’s meltdown in her US Open final loss to Naomi Osaka Saturday. Serena’s behavior has been excused by many (“she was mistreated because she’s a woman,’’ “male players get away with what Serena did”) while another segment of our global population simply believes Serena was being a poor sport, incapable of accepting defeat, and making the story about herself while deflecting the spotlight from a worthy opponent.
Bill O’Brien is the latest opposing coach to do the Foxborough foldIf you get the feeling that you've read this column before, it's because you have.
What was true last year, and the year before that, is still true today. Nothing has changed. The Patriots are going to get where they want to go this year on the merits of Bill Belichick and Tom Brady, plus the unwavering buffoonery of their opponents. Like death, taxes, and the first penalty in the old Montreal Forum, you can depend on the guy on the other sideline throwing up on his shoes. Every week.
Sunday’s easy Patriots victory over the Texans was a great case in point. It was more of the same stuff we’ve been telling you for the last 15 years. Smart, accomplished football men lose all of their grid acumen at the very sight of Belichick and Brady. It is a certainty.
As the years have unfolded, the Patriots have become less talented, less deep, and less dominant, but it does not matter. New England can no longer overwhelm teams on sheer ability. But the coaching disparity across the league is greater than ever. The Patriots can always rely on the kindness of the strangers and friends who come into Foxborough with the misguided mission that they can compete based on sheer physicality and football ability.
The Patriots know all they have to do is . . . wait. Stand around and the opponent will self-destruct.
Can the Texans fire O'Brien at halftime?
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 9, 2018
Totally pantsed.
Tony Romo just told us that Brady did the smart thing by skipping OTAs.
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 9, 2018
And so it begins.
Wonder when CBS cuts to the first fawning, well-lit shot of "Robert"?
Has Les Moonves lost high chair privileges for this year?
Pats lose toss. Forced to take ball.
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 9, 2018
Texans paying attention.
Won't matter.
See you at AFC Championship in January
Texans hand Patriots the ball on first play.
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 9, 2018
Napoleon: Never interrupt your opponent when he is making a mistake.
With Tom Brady, some topics remain out of boundsSo why do you keep asking the questions?
FOXBOROUGH — Bill Belichick has Malcolm Butler.
Tom Brady has Alex Guerrero.
They are Third Rail Topics in Fort Foxborough. They are Those Who Must Not Be Named.
We are not going to get an answer. In either case.
I took a run at the Alex topic with Brady Friday afternoon. Tom was ever-polite but thoroughly obtuse regarding his satisfaction with how Belichick and the Patriots are handling the Guerrero situation.No we don't 'need some background' - we've all read it at least a dozen times by now. It's a poor excuse to continue your war against the New England Patriots.
If you just parachuted in from Guam and need some background, here goes:
■ Put me down as a Holy Cross alum who is a tad nervous about the resumption of the Boston College-Holy Cross football “rivalry.’’ The Jesuit schools played one another on the gridiron 91 times between 1896-1986 before the series was mercifully put to bed. The aggregate score of the last five meetings: BC 221, HC 60. Average score: 44-12.Stolen from the Globe comments section: "Are you saying that Holy Cross is now a Tomato Can?" Heh heh heh!
The disparity is worse now. BC plays FBS football in the highly competitive Atlantic Coast Conference. The Eagles this year will play (among others) Clemson, Louisville, Virginia Tech, and Miami. Holy Cross is a member of the Patriot League and plays FCS football. The Crusaders this year will play (among others) Georgetown, Fordham, Lehigh, and Lafayette.
All of it is very real.But that's not my main point of contention with this column. Rather, it's the continued assertion of Shank's (and local radio people) that the AFC East is a horrible, terrible, awful division chock full of patsies and 'tomato cans':
And none of it means anything.
Things really are frosty at the top of the Patriot pyramid. We are not making this up. We have the sound bites from Tom vs. Time, and Tom with Oprah, and Tom with Jim Gray, and Tom abruptly ending interviews when he gets asked about Alex Guerrero.
Bill Belichick is still angry about having to trade Jimmy Garoppolo (he did not deny that he texted Jimmy G after every 49ers win last year). Bill isn’t happy that he is forced to tolerate Guerrero in the locker room and on the team plane. Bill is never going to tell us why he ordered the Code Red, and he will mock any reporter who pins their hopes to a phone bill or objections from disgruntled ex-Patriots.
In dramatic lore, they were known as Famine, Pestilence, and Destruction. These are only aliases. Their real names are the New York Jets, the Buffalo Bills, and the Miami Dolphins — New England’s ever-wretched competition in the AFC East.Funny you mention doofuses, Shank! This column theme is used every single year and, like this column, Shank does not offer up any statistics to back up this assertion. This 'tomato can' division theme of his is completely unsupported by any meaningful examination of team and division records over any peroid of time, and Shank (to the best of my recollection) has never done this in the past ten years. This blog keeps pointing out the outright lie this is each and every single fucking time this lazy son of a bitch brings it up, yet it never stops. Nor will our rebuttals.
What has been true in 15 of 17 seasons since 2001 (since Brady became Belichick’s starting quarterback) is true today. The New England Patriots, with all their flaws, simply cannot lose their loser division. For the millionth consecutive season, the Jets, Bills, and Dolphins are reinventing themselves with kid quarterbacks and doofus coaches.
I love anything that shines light inside Fort Foxborough.Got any names? Got any proof of contracts / payments from the team?
This is why I love “Big Game: The NFL in Dangerous Times,” a new book by New York Times Magazine chief national correspondent Mark Leibovich, scheduled to be released on Tuesday.
Unearthing truths from Gillette Stadium is almost impossible for local reporters. The Patriot PR Industrial Complex is a perfect model for keeping things in-house. Half the folks who cover the team are working for the team
...and much of the other half are too fearful or beaten-down to discover anything. Years covering the Patriots are like dog years. Reporters wear down and lose their will to live. How many times can a reporter hear Bill Belichick say, “It’s a football decision,’’ or “We’re on to Cincinnati,’’ before he/she stops asking for answers. This is followed, of course, by the chorus of angry Patriots fans wondering why anyone would dare ask Bill anything.Would that include your line of questioning from last month?
Into this mix comes Leibovich, a homegrown (Newton) Patriots fan, a responsible adult (interesting comment there, isn't it? - ed.), and serious national reporter for the vaunted Times. The author somehow coaxed Tom Brady, Bob Kraft, Jerry Jones, and even Donald Trump into cooperating with his four-year, part-time project to plumb the inner workings of the Patriots and all things NFL. The result is a 349-page grenade guaranteed to rattle cages in Foxborough, Dallas, and at 345 Park Avenue in Manhattan.It should make for some fun reading, and the rest of the column reads like he got an advance copy from Leibovich. My initial take - one part truth, one part gossip. Either way, it's a major error for anyone connected to the Patriots to give Leibovich this kind of fodder, unless they're all at a point where they don't give a flying fuck anymore, since the dynasty is on its last legs. It's possible Leibovich has an axe to grind, or he's just another scumbag journalist, but right now I can't tell, not knowing his background. Time will tell.
The Boston Globe would do ANYTHING to help see the demise of the Pats. That's not journalism but then again, Globe Sports is more of a Teen Vogue than anything else now.
— Jeff Fuller (@JefFullerMyself) September 1, 2018
Wicked hard would be my guess!Seriously Dan... you can tell us: how hard were you when you heard that from him?? Be honest.
— Tom McNaughton (@tmcnaughton33) September 1, 2018
Odd not surprised by those involved, especially since Dan has always had a hard on for pooingthe Patriots any chance he got. Globe is the pillar of fake news.
— Jazz Hands (@jsm020) September 1, 2018
5. Dan Shaughnessy calls a Red Sox win “the most demoralizing victory in baseball history”: Yes, the 8-7 win the Boston Red Sox recorded against the Miami Marlins Tuesday, with the winning run coming on a walkoff throwing error by Miami shortstop J.T. Riddle, wasn’t the world’s most impressive result. The win moved the Red Sox to 91-42 and dropped the Marlins to 53-80, so Boston wasn’t exactly playing a titanic opponent, and this saw the Red Sox blow leads in both the eighth and ninth inning. Marlins’ manager Don Mattingly said “Obviously, the ending was not very good” afterwards, and Boston Globe baseball columnist Nick Cafardo started his game story with “Usually after a walkoff win, you feel pretty good about the night’s work. But the Red Sox didn’t so much as win this one,” and used that story to raise questions about the Boston bullpen. That’s all understandable; some games are lost more than won, and even a win can be an opportunity to examine a team’s flaws. But Cafardo’s fellow Globe columnist Dan Shaughnessy really brought the hyperbole when it came to discussing this on Twitter the next day:
I hope I am not alone in my belief that last night's Red Sox walkoff win was the most demoralizing victory in baseball history.
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) August 29, 2018
That’s quite the absurd take. There are plenty of actually-demoralizing victories in baseball history, from ones where a team won while suffering an injury to a star player that wound up destroying their season (Pyrrhus knew a thing or two about that idea) from pennant race wins where a team won, but didn’t make progress or didn’t make the playoffs thanks to results elsewhere. And in a different light, this win could even be seen as a rallying moment for the Red Sox, one showing their determination to fight on despite blown leads and bullpen struggles. Criticism of their play is fair, especially with the winning run coming on that error, but calling this “the most demoralizing victory in baseball history” is a ridiculous argument.
I hope I am not alone in my belief that last night's Red Sox walkoff win was the most demoralizing victory in baseball history.
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) August 29, 2018
Not as demoralizing as writing for a team that you don’t even like.
— Timothy Tim (@timbosox) August 29, 2018
It's true, no team in any sport has "wonugly" in the history of the earth. Stupid.
— Bad Journalism (@WEEI_TYPOS) August 29, 2018
Do you even have to ask, Patrick?would you have rather them lost?
— Patrick Kelly (@PKellyMLB) August 29, 2018
I am definitely not alone in thinking that Ted Williams would absolutely hate you if he was playing today.
— Christopher Smith (@smithtmj) August 29, 2018
