Promise Broken, Again

Dan Shaughnessy, October 25, 2015:

I promise never to rip Sandoval for being out of shape or going on the disabled list.

Dan Shaughnessy, earlier this afternoon:

FORT MYERS, Fla. — It was good to see Pablo Sandoval playing baseball again Thursday afternoon. The slimmed-down Kung Fu Panda started at third base against the Northeastern Huskies,
...
The last time we saw the Panda in action was last April, when his belt succumbed to his swollen gut and literally exploded in mid-swing at the Rogers Centre in Toronto.
...
The Panda has been a punch line around here for the better part of two seasons.
...
No. Nothing like that. We watched the Panda’s BMI rise while his OPS fell.
...
In the wake of a second straight last-place finish by the Red Sox in 2015, Sandoval and Hanley Ramirez became Boston baseball’s Pinata Twins — blamed for everything that was wrong with the team. (blamed by...whom? - ed.)
...
He showed up looking out of shape, and no one believed the Sox when they insisted he had only 17 percent body fat (“Did they say 70 percent?” we wondered).
...
We know he’s on a low-carb regimen and he dropped a few lbs. by riding his mountain bike to the park and doing some boxing in the offseason. He says he has something to prove. He says his shoulder is healed. He says he’s OK again from the right side. (surely not trying to create doubt here, right? - ed.)
...
Sandoval played three grueling innings against Northeastern.

Much like Shank's daily grueling one mile run!

Changeup

Shank takes a break from bashing and second guessing the local professional sports teams and avoids the grueling commute from Newton to Morrissey Boulevard to profile Newton North's Joe Siciliano:

Tuesday afternoon at the corner of Hull Street and Lowell Avenue in Newton, 67 year-old Joe Siciliano ran baseball practice — just as he has done every May weekday since 1987.

Putting his guys through base-running and relay drills, Siciliano looked as enthusiastic as Pete Carroll on the sideline with the Seahawks in Super Bowl XLVIII. The old gray coach was laughing, grimacing, and gesturing nonstop. He was pumped and jacked as his teenage ballplayers went about their business with purpose and pleasure. A boring fundamental drill was somehow worthwhile and fun as the Tigers prepared for Game 1 of the inaugural Super 8 tournament. Top-seeded North (19-1) opens at home Wednesday afternoon against Catholic Memorial.

Joe Siciliano. Everyman. Teacher, coach, groundskeeper, grandfather, baseball lifer, sculptor of young souls. Every town should have one.

Here's the interesting part, at least for me:

[Disclosure: My son played four seasons for Joe Siciliano from 2003-06.]

I met with one of my clients in Newton a few months ago during tax season. I mentioned DSW to him, and he mentioned the fact that he used to coach kids in baseball some years ago. While he didn't mention if he was coaching at Newton North or whether it was Pony League, Babe Ruth or some other organized baseball, he did mention one of the kids by name - Sam Shaughnessy. Nearly every parent gave my client their condolences, thinking Shank was going to be a typically overbearing parent, demanding his kid play center field, or whatever. As it turns out, it was the complete opposite - Shank was cool as a cucumber, nice as pie, didn't yell or scream, etc. A pleasant surprise!

Fadin' Away

Shank recaps last night's Celtics loss to the Lakers with a semi-inspired, cliche riddled column.

You want some lame wordplay?

The Phil Jackson Five took a punch in the mouth...

Clever alliteration?

...a grand and grueling match of modern mastodons.

Shank At Springsteen?

Eagle-eyed reader Walter R. sends along this link about last night's Bruce Springsteen concert. The story centers on Governors Charlie Baker and Chris Christie being in attendance, but Walter points out a (possible) certain Boston Globe sports columnist, sitting behind the guy in the blue shirt in the upper right corner.

Two columns a week, a radio appearance, grueling one mile runs, going to concerts - how does he maintain this frantic pace?

UPDATE AT 2:30 PM:

Looks like Shank was indeed there:

@kirkmin We just parked next to your BFF Shaughnessy outside the Garden. Hope he's sitting right next to you! ;) Bruuuuuuuuuce!!!

— melaniezombik(@mzombik) February 4, 2016

Just ruined my night. https://t.co/0h7np7rEj3

— Kirk Minihane(@kirkmin) February 4, 2016

Dear Shanka Claus - VI

Dear Shanka Claus:

If only you could put together a whole bunch of those grueling one mile runs...

Sincerely,

Abby D., Boston, MA

The Redemption Tour

The Boston Red Sox officially started the 2013 campaign yesterday as pitchers and catchers started spring training.

FORT MYERS, Fla. — The Red Sox know you’ve lost that lovin’ feeling. They aim to win back the hearts of disgruntled fans.

Welcome to JetBlue Park in sunny southwest Florida, the first stop on the Red Sox Redemption Tour of 2013.

The Sox assembled at JetBlue Tuesday for the first workout of pitchers and catchers. Manager John “True Grit” Farrell put the fellows through a grueling two-hour workout, and nobody texted Adrian Gonzalez to suggest a clubhouse coup d’etat.

It’s all good this year. Come on down and take a long look at John Lackey. He’s a fatty no more. Say hello to new shortstop Stephen “I’m no J.D.” Drew. And while you’re at it, check out Dustin Pedroia, who says, “They didn’t have to spend $100,000 on that focus group to find out I’m a sexy guy. I could have told them that for free!’’

The Sox were New England’s top dogs for a long time, dominating the local sports landscape and spreading their brand globally. Major League Baseball sent the Centerfold Sox to Japan in 2008. ESPN and Fox insisted on placing the Sox in prime time, knowing the Carmine Hose would boost national ratings. Every Fenway game was a legitimate sellout.

The rest of the column is about as forced and cliched as the above collection of new Shankisms indicates. I think Shank's columns could use a bit of spring training as well, including yesterday's 'effort' on Red Sox owner John Henry, with Shank taking his customary place in the back of the room, writing down the Q & A of the other reporters & Mr. Henry and passing off the regurgitation as a column.

40 Years Running - The Grueling One Mile Run

This theme was a favorite DSW staple in our earlier years, and now we arrive at its fortieth anniversary:

One man’s idea of long-distance running: A mile a day for 40 years

It started as a New Year’s resolution in the Los Angeles Hilton on Jan. 1, 1983. I was there for a Rose Bowl game featuring Michigan and UCLA.

Forty years ago.

After getting out of bed, I jogged a mile on the streets of LA to make my 29-year-old self feel better.

And I never stopped. One mile a day. A four-decade, slow-motion grind that has taken me more than 14,500 miles, across America and back — twice! Practically Gumpish.

For a long while, it was a legitimate streak, almost Ripkenesque. I’d never miss. But I must confess that there have been gaps, especially in the last 10 years. A kidney stone halted the madness in 2012 and a shattered collarbone shelved me in 2015. There are a handful of other misses due to lost luggage, a knockout flu, sinus surgery, and one day when I overslept, rushed to an interview, and just plain forgot.

Read on for a pretty good column. Congrats to Shank on the streak!

Homecoming Weekend

With the Game 5 victory (4 - 3), the Red Sox return to Fenway for Game 6 and a possible Game 7 against the Detroit Tigers. Naturally, Shank thinks the series is in the bag, but not without a few trademark Shank cliches:

DETROIT — Ninety-seven wins begat a relatively easy first round against the Tampa Bay Tomato Cans, which begat five bombastic battles against the estimable-but-slowly-crumbling Detroit Tigers..

So a Tampa Bay pitching staff with David Price and Matt Moore, just to name two, is a so-called tomato can?

And now the 2013 Red Sox are coming home to win the American League pennant on the green, green grass of Fenway.

A bit presumptuous, are we?

The Sox put themselves in position to capture the flag by beating the Tigers, 4-3, in another grueling, midnight-hour carnival ride at Comerica Park on Thursday. The stunning surge, which started with Big Papi’s grand slam at Fenway on Sunday, carried over into Motown, where the Sons of David (Ortiz) won two of three thrillers. Four of the five games of this ALCS have been decided by one run.

So the Red Sox have won more close games then the Tigers, and Shank awards the AL crown to the Sox before the last two games are played?

And, after Shank nearly jumps off of it yesterday...

If you haven’t yet hopped on Boston’s Bearded Bandwagon, this might be the time.

Said without a hint of irony.

And Now For Some Boston Globe Bashing

After months of grueling, contentious negotiations with the Boston Globe's parent company, the New York Times, the Boston Newspaper Guild agreed to huge pay cuts designed to save $10 million for the struggling regional newspaper in an industry in a death spiral.

How does the ownership of the New York Times express solidarity with their union members? By rewarding themselves with massive pay raises!

Top executives at the beleaguered New York Times Company reaped hefty rewards last year, with Chairman Arthur "Pinch" Sulzberger more than doubling his total compensation to $6 million.

CEO Janet Robinson got even more, reaping $6.3 million, a 31.9 percent hike.

The pay numbers were disclosed in Securities and Exchange Commission filings yesterday.

The increases come against a backdrop of declining ad revenue, layoffs, frozen pension plans, unpaid vacations and a 5 percent pay cut for most of the rank-and-file workers last year.

Reaction to the executive compensation restructuring was wholly supportive:

"Our members are really unhappy with what is happening," said Bill O'Meara, master of the understatement president of the Newspaper Guild of New York. "They made a voluntary sacrifice to give up some of their pay to help the company out. People are losing their jobs still."

One corporate governance expert warned that even if a publicly traded company's compensation committee OK'd the compensation, it could backfire in the court of public opinion.

"I think the board may want to weigh the consequences of rewarding their executives, who may be worthy of the increases, against the damage that may occur to the company's reputation," said William Sannwald, a business professor at San Diego State University.

Michael Golden, a first cousin of Pinch's who is vice chairman and chief operating officer of the Times' Regional Media Group, took home $2.4 million in total compensation last year, up 71 percent. CFO Jim Folo received a 20 percent boost, earning $1.3 million.

In other words, 60 percent of the monetary concessions made by the Boston Newspaper Guild went into the pockets of three New York Times executives. It's worth remembering this the next time the Boston Globe / New Your Times editorial writers sanctimoniously lecture you about the virtues of unions while their ownership is simultaneously pissing on their own unions...

Shank Still Doesn't Like Or Understand Science

First off, this is coming from a guy who's as lazy as the day is long, the daily grueling one mile run being just one example.

I have read the entire Mueller Report.
Ideal Gas Law confirms there was no collusion and no obstruction.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) April 18, 2019

And he gets to tweak the Patriots again - it's another two-fer!

DHL Dan CLX - Eyes On The Prize

Back from his grueling two week trip to Fort Myers to write all of three columns on the 2023 spring training Boston Red Sox, Shank turns his attention to Celtics ace Jayson Tatum and wants him to turn his attention to...

It’s time for Jayson Tatum to focus on the prize that really matters, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while hoping my pipes don’t freeze and wondering why I came back from Florida …

▪ Enough with the MVP campaign, birthday parties, signature shoes, Subway sandwiches, and hunger for individual accolades.

It’s time for Jayson Tatum to step up and lead the Celtics to the NBA championship.

Tatum is clearly the most talented player on this Celtics team and is on a path to crack into the franchise’s all-time starting five (Bill Russell, Larry Bird, John Havlicek, Bob Cousy, Paul Pierce, Kevin McHale, Kevin Garnett, Sam Jones, and Dave Cowens are my top nine). He was just named All-Star MVP and has a chance to break Bird’s team record for single-season scoring average (29.9 in 1987-88).

Tatum turns 25 this coming week and is in his sixth season in the league. In Bird’s first six NBA seasons, he won two championships and two MVPs.

Shank On The Sox-Cubs Series

After taking nearly a week off from his last grueling column, Shank gets around to cover this weekend's series at Fenway Park. A decent column, largely bereft of the usual Shank staples of negative remarks, personal attacks and the usual stuff that make his columns unpleasant to read.

Can the Cubs stay here a few more days? If this really is a 2017 World Series preview (a lofty goal for the teetering Local Nine, I’ll admit), the Cracker Jack-eating baseball world should be very happy.

“This is good for the industry,’’ Cubs manager Joe Maddon said Saturday after a 7-4 win over the Red Sox. “This has been playoff-like baseball with two really good teams playing the game properly.’’
...
It’s all true. The series has lived up to its billing. And for two days, all the rage has been sucked out of Fenway.

Strange days, indeed.

Nice to have 'the rage' sucked out of this column, isn't it?

DHL Dan - LXXXI

I see we're already running out of Red Sox storylines when you're resorting to this crap...

FORT MYERS, Fla. — Picked-up pieces from 10 days of grueling investigative reporting in the Fort . . .

Like Shank's occasional one mile fitness run, a headline / sub-hed in search of proof.

■ Red Sox-Yankees is going to be very good this year.

The Sox will play the Yanks at Fenway South Saturday in their major league spring training opener. It starts a renewal of hostilities that will take the ancient rivals to London and back this season.

In 2004, when the Yankees came to Fort Myers for the first time after the Grady Little/Aaron Boone classic, 250 media members covered the meaningless exhibition. Then-Sox manager Terry Francona remembers seeing fans lined up on the sidewalks at 5:30 a.m. for a 1 p.m. start. A-Rod and Derek Jeter both made the 2½-hour bus trip.

It's not exactly the mishmash of stuff normally seen in a obvious mail-in column; worth reading, and I'm not just saying that because I have a few beers in me while I'm writing this...

Deep Thoughts, By Dan Shaughnessy

Brace yourself for some serious inanities, ladies and gentleman - it looks like Shanks Twitter feed has stopped robotweeting, and has become self-aware. Just like Skynet, but in reverse!

I just took a stroll through his Twitter feed, and I feel dirty and dumber for it it looks like the robotweeting stopped some months ago. Contrary to Shank's propaganda, some of us 'blogboys' who don't live in mom's basement have jobs & mortgages and shit, so we don't have time to savor the finer things in life, like the barrel of fish that his feed provides.

For example:

Aside from the actual final score, he was right on! This tweet is posted in one form or another every damn week. He also mentions 'tomato can' in nearly the same frequency. I think they used to teach you in journalism school not to be repetitive. He must have been out on one of his grueling one mile runs that day.

To further illustrate Shank's occasional foray into rank unprofessionalism with respect to the Kraft family, here's Shank retweeting (i.e., endorsing) some literally childish notions about them, including one by a fellow Boston Globe employee:

Stay classy, Shank! And you too, KPD!

Strange Tweets, By Dan Shaughnessy

Is he losing it? Too many Bloody Mary's this morning? Slip and fall on his head during one of his grueling one-mile runs? Soliciting someone to drop a dime on a local athlete? What can possibly explain this enigmatic tweet?

Call me

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 17, 2018

Digging Through the Recycling Bin

Not much today. Dan just talks about the pitchers' fielding drills, nothing you couldn't have read in Rob Bradford's blog yesterday.

It is a rambling mess (This sentence appears out of nowhere: "Pitchers' fielding practice, a favorite activity of the departed Joe Kerrigan, took on a whole new meaning during last year's World Series when Tigers hurlers committed five errors in five games against the Cardinals.") and contains his typically facile sarcasm ("Red Sox pitchers and catchers went through their first grueling (9:30 a.m. to 11:12 a.m.) workout of the 2007 season yesterday."), which is rich considering it comes from a man who "jogs" for only a mile each day.

There are people who claim that CHB is a good writer. But his repetitive use of sarcasm exposes him as a poor columnist. Sarcasm is easy, something anybody can do, and it wears thin very quickly if it isn't clever. Dan's attempts most often aren't. Rather, they are obvious and simple. A better (or more industrious?) writer would avoid the constant sarcasm that Shank pumps out.

Oh, Dan notes there are a lot of Japanese media members. Tomorrow, Dan tells us water is wet. (See how easy it is?)