He Came to Bury Them - II

The first pitch of the Boston Red Sox's season has yet to be thrown, and already Shank is in mid-season form, throwing as much dirt on their graves as possible:

CLEVELAND — As they prepare to launch their 116th big league season at Progressive Field Monday, the Boston Red Sox are immersed in a sense of urgency.

Win now. Win today. Be careful not to get off to a bad start or we’ll render you mathematically eliminated from relevancy before Mother’s Day.

And by 'we', Shank means him.

This feeling is all around the Red Sox, and it is the antithesis of baseball’s century-old mantra that the major league season is a marathon rather than a sprint.

Not this year. Not for the 2016 Olde Towne Team. An early-season slump simply will not fly with fans, bloodthirsty media (is there any other kind in Boston? - ed.), and, most important, new baseball boss Dave Dombrowski.

And thus the tone is set - if the Red Sox lose today, the season is lost. That notion would seem overly pessimistic as well as stupid, but this is Shank, recently tied for biggest Boston sports media asshole, so it's not really a surprise.

Don't bother with the rest of the column - you've seen the same points made over and over and over for the past year. That's what recycling's all about!