Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Shank Hearts Valentine

I neglected to mention Shank's other potential column subject - Bobby Valentine is the bomb!
He is married to the daughter of Ralph Branca, who threw the gopher ball to Bobby Thomson at the Polo Grounds in 1951. His first roommate in professional baseball was Bill Buckner, when the two were drafted by the Los Angeles Dodgers in 1968. He managed the Texas Rangers, who were once managed by Ted Williams. He also managed the New York Mets, who inflicted immeasurable pain to our region in 1986.

Is there any doubt that Bobby Valentine is destined to be the next manager of the Boston Red Sox?

No. There can be no doubt. This is a man directly connected to the two most infamous moments in baseball’s 20th century. And that is only one of the reasons that he is the perfect fit to be the 45th manager in the storied history of the Boston Red Sox.
Shank's in such a great mood he trots out lame song lyrics to buttress his cheerleading for Valentine:
Valentine desperately wants this job. If we can quote Don Henley we can say that Bobby V would walk on his lips through busted glass to get to the corner office at Fenway Park.
Some words stick out more than others:
New York City folks who endured the tragedy of the fallen towers in 2001 will tell you that Bobby Valentine was the real deal when it came to caring for victims after the attacks. For once in his life, he was all action, little talk. Not bad for a guy who’s often been portrayed as a fraud and a poser.
Shank will be using those two words to describe Valentine when the Red Sox have their first serious losing streak.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

“Is there any doubt that Bobby Valentine is destined to be the next manager of the Boston Red Sox?”

So Shank is sharing his logic by connecting some dots here …. Buckner to Williams to Mets = “the two most infamous moments in baseball’s 20th century”. Is Shank still living in his “cursed” world?

“Like Larry Lucchino, Bobby V knows he is the smartest guy in the room.”

I bet Shank thinks he’s much smarter than both Lucchino and Bobby V combined … just wait and see, Shank will prove it to us.

“He was an absolute god when he managed in Japan (think of Jerry Lewis in France)”

Which Jerry Lewis is he referring to here? The Jerry Lee Lewis of Great Balls of Fire Fame or Jerry Lewis the original Nutty Professor? Is this another example of Shank “outdating” himself?