Tuesday, March 14, 2006

They Right (and Write) Themselves

It was Curt Schilling on Saturday, then Keith Foulke on Monday and today it's Matt Clement.

Three pitchers on the comeback trail in three columns: is this rehab week?

And like the former two pieces, Dan sticks to the script: A blow-by-blow of everything that went wrong for the player last year, a recount of his high points, and most of the column is just the pitcher's own words, with a few transitions from The CHB thrown in.

But while he seemed to be making up with Schilling, calling him "the big guy" -- a switch from "the Big Blowhard," as he did last year -- The CHB still can't get out of his own way. After belittling Foulke on multiple occasions for "insulting the fans," Shaughnessy uses the same language to describe Clement following last season's playoff loss, saying he "looked like a man who'd rather be working alongside Johnny from Burger King."

It appears the team of monkeys Dan hires to write his columns may be running out of steam.


Anonymous said...

It's apparent from his "Burger King" comment that CHB is going to spend the rest of the season crapping on Foulke at least once per week. Bet on it.

I've long suspected that CHB doesn't read his own paper. An entire column on Clement and not one mention of his off-seaons knee surgery?

From the Globe, March 8: However, post-surgery, "I really noticed a difference on my slider and my sinker. I never dreamed I would. I'm able to get stiffer on my front leg and get over it. I feel so much stronger."

In hindsight, Clement said, "I had changed the whole way I walked and didn't even realize it."

The Chief said...

He doesn't have time to read the paper; he's too busy looking through his old columns and deciding which one to reuse for tomorrow.

jenny said...

No, I'm quite sure he doesn't read his own paper. I sent him an e-mail once refuting one of his claims about that whole Colorado fustercluck that had, as its support, quotes from the Aug. 5 edition of the Globe sports section. I mean, he writes like he doesn't even read his OWN columns, why would he read anyone else's?

I'm waiting for tomorrow's piece on Francona's contract extension. Let there be not a shred of doubt in anyone's mind that it will contain at least 3 derogatory references to the well-known Theo Fiasco and 3 derogatory references including Grady Little.

Here's a theory: maybe CHB's columns are run the same way the publishing companies churn out Boxcar Children or Nancy Drew mysteries. The actual author died years ago, but his shtick is so imitable that they have a committee to keep it running.

morrissey mole said...

You might be surprised how many people in the Globe sports dept. don't bother (or can't bear) to read the finished product every day. Or you might not.