DHL Dan CLXXI - Danny Ainge On The Celtics

After Shank's rip job on the 2022-2023 Boston Celtics (right below), where he called the team 'posers' and 'front-running frauds', we get a more sober and reasonable analysis of the team from the former Celtics player and general manager:

Danny Ainge, the principal architect of this Celtics team, has some thoughts on their playoff run

Picked-up pieces after six weeks of Celtics playoffs …

▪ I had a couple of conversations with Danny Ainge over the last two weeks. We spoke after the Celtics went down, 0-3, to the Heat and again after Monday’s disastrous Game 7 at the Garden.

Ainge, who has been gone from Boston for two seasons and now is CEO of basketball for the Utah Jazz, was the principal architect of this Celtics team that has underachieved despite getting to five conference finals in seven seasons. Ainge’s son, Austin, is director of player personnel for the Celtics, and Danny still speaks regularly with Green Teamers.

“I work for another company now, but I’m trying to defend my friends,” said Ainge. “I know Joe [Mazzulla]. I hired Joe four or five years ago to work in our G League. I still cheer for my friends.

“I don’t think the team quit on Joe. There was pretty good evidence they did not quit on the coach. I just think they weren’t playing well. The team’s overall confidence struggled after the comeback wins against Philly, which was really the highlight of the season.

“No coach can go through a series and not make mistakes, just like players make mistakes, but we saw some patterns of isolation basketball and going through stretches of not making threes. That’s not just with this group; we’ve seen this throughout the NBA. Teams go on these long 3-point droughts. Their energy level is higher when they make shots, and the Celtics are not unique in that aspect.

“I understand something’s got to change, but knowing every one of the players like I do, it’s hard to identify. They need to do some imaging. You’ve got to find out what went wrong, and nobody is certain if they’re not there every day. If you asked each player and each coach, they would all have a different reason. And it’s Brad [Stevens’s] job to really find out what needs to be changed.

Makes you wonder who the real fraud and poser is, doesn't it? Shank continues with the name calling of the Celtics, using descriptors as chokers and (again) front-runners. Keep it classy!

Finished Business

The 2023 Boston Celtics lost Game 7 of the Eastern Conference finals last night in painful fashion. When a local sports team exits the playoffs, Shank is all over them and this one is no exception:

Celtics’ loss to Heat in Game 7 was a meltdown of epic proportions in Boston sports

There have been some stink bombs detonated by Boston teams in big games throughout the decades.

This may have been the most foul of all.

On a postcard-perfect Memorial Day, with the entire region braced for an 0-3 comeback that would mirror what those Curse-busting Red Sox did 19 years ago, the poser Celtics submitted a woeful Game 7 effort in the Eastern Conference finals and were thrashed by the so-much-mentally-tougher, eighth-seeded Miami Heat, 103-84, Monday night at the Garden.

So there. The Green Team’s spring of “Unfinished Business” is officially finished. And, sadly, the only takeaway is that your 2022-23 Celtics were front-running frauds. I mean, did they really deserve another trip to the Finals after the way they played with their food all year?

Don’t take it from me. Listen to NBA Hall of Famer Charles Barkley. At halftime of this embarrassment, Chuck told the TNT audience, “Watching these dumbass Celtics play is making my head hurt … It’s so bad to watch them play. There’s no ball movement, there’s no body movement, and its frustrating watching a team with this much talent just play stupid.’’

You can always tell one thing by the way this column starts out - when a local pro sports team is at its worst, Shank's at his best.

A Rip Job In The Making

Spotted at the Boston Garden last night:

I can’t wait. pic.twitter.com/6AwVn7sl3b

— Tucker Silva (@TuckSilva) May 30, 2023

Two Ways To Make History

Sounds like Shank's about to hop back on the bandwagon, doesn't it?

Instead of being history, the Celtics have a real chance to make history after dominating Heat in Game 5

It’s been building since they took back the night in the second half of Game 4 in Miami, and now it feels very real. The Boston Celtics are halfway home to a return to the NBA Finals.

One hundred and fifty NBA teams have tried, and 150 have failed, but your Celtics think they can become the first team in league history to recover from a 3-0 playoff deficit. The Celtics blew the roof off the Causeway Street gym Thursday, bolting to a 17-point first-quarter lead, pushing it to 24 in the fourth, and running the Heat out of town in with a wire-to-wire 110-97 Game 5 victory.

Shank's very familiar with the concept of running things out of town.

Anything Can Happen

The Boston Celtics won Game 4 of the Eastern Conference finals last night to give them some hope. Naturally, Shank brings up an event from nine years ago:

Celtics got their first win over Heat, and Kevin Millar knows anything can happen now

MIAMI — What now? Does Kevin Millar come to the Garden Thursday with a bottle of Jack Daniel’s?

It’s only one game, but the Celtics crawled out of a hole Tuesday and finally beat the Heat, 116-99, to stay alive in their Eastern Conference final series. Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez were at the game and I’m hoping some wiseguy asked The Captain if he believes a team from Boston can win four straight after trailing, three games to none.

Between now and Thursday, the Celtics and their fans will be reminding everyone that the Red Sox turned that trick against the Yankees in 2004.

They shouldn't, but they just might do so.

When the Celtics were annihilated in Game 3 Sunday, Millar knew his phone was going to blow up.

“I get requests for hockey teams, high school teams, you name it,” he said Monday. “I had to do one for Chad Bradford [Millar’s teammate with the Sox in ‘05] the other day. He called me and said, ‘Hey, buddy, haven’t seen you in a while. Need you to make a call for me to inspire a team I’m coaching. Can you send ‘em a message?’

“Until somebody else does it, that clip lives forever and it gets used for any team that gets down, 3-0.”

And now for the fun part:

...

“That clip” refers to Millar’s maniacal message of optimism that was beautifully captured in ESPN’s 30 for 30 documentary, “Four Days in October."

Millar was wired for sound as he bounced around Fenway in the hours before Game 4 of the 2004 ALCS. The Sox had been savaged, 19-8, at Fenway one night earlier and trailed in the series, 3-0. But Millar was upbeat, telling everyone, “Don’t let us win this game. Don’t count the Sox out. It never happened in the history of baseball, but if there’s a group of idiots that can do it, it’s us."

He was eager to talk with me that night because I’d written that the Sox were in danger of being remembered as a “pack of frauds” if they got broomed by the Yankees.

Disgraceful

That's the rather harsh word Shank uses to describe last night's 'effort' by the Boston Celtics:

Game 3 was a disgraceful performance by the once-proud Celtics. Even though it’s not over, don’t you want it to be?

MIAMI — A lifetime of incorrect predictions has taught me that it’s dangerous to prematurely state that any series is over. Yogi Berra was right. It ain’t over ‘til it’s over.

But man, oh, man. Don’t you just want this Celtics season to be over?

In another hail of turnovers, technicals, airballs, matador defenses, and nonstop complaints to the officials, the once-proud Boston Celtics were defeated yet again by the estimable, eighth-seeded Miami Heat Sunday, 128-102. Miami led by 8 after one, by 15 at the half, and stretched it to 33 midway through the third. At that point, it felt as if the Celtics had simply quit.

And yet poor coach Joe Mazzulla still will not say anything bad about his rollover players.

“I just didn’t have ‘em ready to play,’’ said the kid coach. “I should have . . . Whatever it was, I have to get them in a better place. That’s on me . . . I think they’re doing everything they can . . . I just didn’t execute the proper game plan. It’s on me to be better so they can play better.’’

DHL Dan CLXX - Put Up Or Shut Up

Alternate title - Shank's off the bandwagon:

It’s put up or shut up time for Celtics stars Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown, and other thoughts

MIAMI — Picked-up pieces while noting the loss of Jim Brown, the greatest football player who ever lived …

▪ The shocked and chagrinned Celtics have taken their significant talents to South Beach after metaphorical victory cigars exploded in their faces in two games at the Garden.

The eighth-seeded Miami Heat outhustled and outplayed your not-as-good-as-they-think-they-are Celtics and now the Eastern Conference finals move to Miami for Game 3 Sunday night at Kaseya Center.

It’s put up or shut up for Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown, who were named two of the league’s top 10 players in 2022-23. Tatum and Brown carry themselves as if they have won multiple championships. By Boston Celtic standards, they have won nothing. And this is supposed to be their time.

The two Jays were no-show, turnover machines in crunch time of the stunning losses (the C’s are 4-5 at home in these playoffs). Boston blew a 13-point lead in Game 1, and led by 12 in the first minute of the fourth on Friday. Tatum did not record a basket in the fourth quarter of either loss. Brown on Friday was ineffective at both ends, scoring a mere 16 points and getting torched by the undrafted likes of Caleb Martin and Duncan Robinson.

Can't Trust 'Em

With Game 1 of the Eastern Conference finals in the books, Shank's now singing a different tune about the Boston Celtics:

It’s only Game 1, but after a dysfunctional loss to the Heat, how can we trust these Celtics?

How can we ever trust these Boston Celtics?

ESPN Analytics said the Celtics have a 97 percent chance of beating the Miami Heat in the Eastern Conference finals. The Green were 8-point favorites going into Game 1 at home Wednesday.

Jayson Tatum and Co. led by 13 in the first half, and 9 at intermission.

But they lost, 123-116.

Wow.

Bill Belichick watched upstairs with Boston basketball boss Brad Stevens. At some point, the Hoodie must have turned to his suite mate and asked, “How come your young coach never calls time out?’’

The tough, undrafted, underdogs from Miami outscored the Celtics, 46-25, in the third quarter. And Boston’s rookie coach Joe Mazzulla never called time during the Heat-induced meltdown. He just stood back and let it all be. It was a stunner.

The Pat Riley Column

With the Boston Celtics and Miami Heat due to square off for the 2023 Eastern Conference title, Shank takes a look at one of the best basketball coaches of all-time, current Heat president Pat Riley:

The man behind the Heat is Pat Riley, still at work to beat the rival Celtics

He’s 78 years old, works his magic behind the scenes, and looks like an aging Michael Douglas or Gordon Gekko.

You probably won’t hear his opinions about Celtics vs. Heat.

Like Bill Belichick, Pat Riley believes in one voice for an organization. And that voice should be the team’s head coach.

Riley is in Boston this weekend, just as he was here in 1984, ‘85, and ‘87 when the NBA staged the Celtics-Lakers Ali-Frazier three-act play that vaulted the NBA into prime-time, must-see TV.

Say hello to Riley if you see him downtown. And know that he is the man behind the Miami Heat you’re watching this week and next.

The Heat president is still current, still a genius of NBA team-building, forever a Celtic rival and nemesis. He’s the man who hired Hall of Fame-bound Erik Spoelstra to follow him as Heat coach in 2008.

Riley has built a roster of 15 tough guys — including seven undrafted players — and they’re in the conference finals for the third time in four seasons. They’re also a No. 8 seed that had to endure two play-in games just to make the tournament.

Good, solid colum by Shank - it's worth reading in full.

Stayin' Alive And Hijacking The Bandwagon - II

For the first time since this Blogger site was founded (September 18, 2005), Blogger has flagged a post of ours and put it elsewhere, forcing readers to click on a link and read the post in its entirety. This was done without my knowledge or consent. The only information I have right now is that "This post was put behind a warning for readers because it contains sensitive content as outlined in Blogger’s Community Guidelines." I have read the Blogger 'Community Guidelines' and determined my most recent posts contained no such 'sensitive content', ambiguous as that phrase is. For what it's worth, I've seen worse posted here. I have requested a review of this situation as noted in this 'Community Guidelines' warning and we'll see where that gets me. In the meantime, I will post it again, with two words altered, as they may have been the items causing deep offense with the censors at Google Blogger:

The Boston Celtics beat the Philadelphia 76'ers yesterday in Game 7 of the Eastern Conference semifinals. Shank's there with a cliche filled column chock full of Shankisms:

Celtics did not go the way of Bruins and the spring hopes of a championship remain alive

Fear not, Boston sports fans. The Celtics aren’t going the way of the Bruins, who dropped out of sight quickly in Boston’s playoff spring of hope and expectation.

The sons of Red Auerbach and Bill Russell Sunday advanced to the NBA’s final four with a pulsating, 112-88 Game 7 thrashing of the Philadelphia 76ers. Jayson Tatum scored an NBA Game 7 record 51 points in a Mother’s Day celebration of Love & Basketball at TD Garden.

Your fabled hoop franchise will take on the Miami Heat in the Eastern Conference Finals starting Wednesday on Causeway Street. It’s always a mistake to get ahead of ourselves in these matters, but ... who can resist? If the favored Celtics beat the Heat, there’s a fair chance we’ll get Boston-LA in the NBA Finals, a renewal of Russell vs. Chamberlain, Bird vs. Magic, and Pierce vs. Kobe.

The Celtics are in this position because Tatum channeled his inner Bird/Sam Jones and buried the Sixers with a hail of 3-point heaves and Globetrotter drives to the basket. After struggling in Games 4, 5, and 6 of the series (Tatum shot 0 for 19 in the first quarter of those three games), he lit up the scoreboard and came within 3 points of John Havlicek’s franchise-playoff-best 54 points against the Hawks in 1973.

More bullshit and b*ll $ucking at the link.

Stayin' Alive And Hijacking The Bandwagon

The Boston Celtics beat the Philadelphia 76'ers yesterday in Game 7 of the Eastern Conference semifinals. Shank's there with a cliche filled column chock full of Shankisms:

Celtics did not go the way of Bruins and the spring hopes of a championship remain alive

Fear not, Boston sports fans. The Celtics aren’t going the way of the Bruins, who dropped out of sight quickly in Boston’s playoff spring of hope and expectation.

The sons of Red Auerbach and Bill Russell Sunday advanced to the NBA’s final four with a pulsating, 112-88 Game 7 thrashing of the Philadelphia 76ers. Jayson Tatum scored an NBA Game 7 record 51 points in a Mother’s Day celebration of Love & Basketball at TD Garden.

Your fabled hoop franchise will take on the Miami Heat in the Eastern Conference Finals starting Wednesday on Causeway Street. It’s always a mistake to get ahead of ourselves in these matters, but ... who can resist? If the favored Celtics beat the Heat, there’s a fair chance we’ll get Boston-LA in the NBA Finals, a renewal of Russell vs. Chamberlain, Bird vs. Magic, and Pierce vs. Kobe.

The Celtics are in this position because Tatum channeled his inner Bird/Sam Jones and buried the Sixers with a hail of 3-point heaves and Globetrotter drives to the basket. After struggling in Games 4, 5, and 6 of the series (Tatum shot 0 for 19 in the first quarter of those three games), he lit up the scoreboard and came within 3 points of John Havlicek’s franchise-playoff-best 54 points against the Hawks in 1973.

More bullshit and ball sucking at the link.

Outdated

Boston Radio Watch catches Shank after the Celtics win Game 7 against the 76'ers:

7 still uses Shank for postgame analysis? Good grief. That station needs a reset. pic.twitter.com/Tfhi5kjuKA

— Boston Radio Watch®️ (@bostonradio) May 14, 2023

Shank's article on the game will be commented on tomorrow.

DHL Dan CLXIX - The Right Side Of History

It's nteresting how two weeks can change things, especially for weathervanes like Shank. A fortnight ago he was telling you how easy this series would be for the Boston Celtics. Now that we're looking at Game 7 today, Shank's forced to play a different set of cards:

History is on Celtics’ side in another Game 7, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while wondering which Jayson Tatum shows up at the Garden Sunday …

▪ Hello Game 7, old friend.

We have Celtics-76ers in a winner-take-all conference semifinal game.

Historically, the Celtics are Mr. Game 7, the way Reggie Jackson is Mr. October, the way Billy Crystal is Mr. Saturday Night. Tatum, Jaylen Brown, and Marcus Smart may know nothing of their forebears, but the fact remains that, historically, the Boston Celtics own Game 7.

The Celtics have played more Game 7s (35) than any other NBA team. Dating back to the days when Bill Russell roamed the parquet, the Celtics are 26-9 in Game 7s. Russell was 10-0 in ultimate games, winning the last game of his 13-year career with a Game 7 championship victory over the Wilt Chamberlain/Elgin Baylor/Jerry West Lakers in the LA Forum in 1969.

Boston’s fabled basketball team didn’t lose its first Game 7 until 1973, when Russell was gone and John Havlicek hurt his shoulder in an epic series with the New York Knicks.

What happened in those great old days has nothing to do with what will happen Sunday against Joel Embiid, but there’s some comfort in a legacy forged by Russell, Sam Jones, and Red Auerbach in ancient days when a smoke was still a smoke (Hoyo de Monterrey for Red) and having home court was a significant advantage in any winner-take-all NBA game.

Oddly, the New Garden has not been our friend this spring. The Bruins (remember them?) and Celtics have gone an aggregate 1-6 in seven playoff games on Causeway Street since the Bruins were first beaten by the Florida Panthers in Round 1 April 19.

Kind of shoots down the whole 'we got this game!' thingy, doesn't it? In karate, this is known as blocking a punch with your face.

In Hindsight

That title's a nice summation of Shank's work over the years - second guess people and blame them for mistakes and failure, like this guy:

In hindsight, Joe Mazzulla did the unthinkable Monday: He agreed with the angry masses.

There are a lot of eyes on Celtics rookie head coach Joe Mazzulla in this conference semifinal series with the 76ers.

Mazzulla took tremendous heat for not calling a timeout when the Celtics failed to get a shot off in the final 19 seconds of overtime in Sunday’s 1-point loss in Philadelphia. Then he did the unthinkable: He agreed with the angry masses.

“Hindsight’s 20/20,’’ Mazzulla said Monday. “I should have called [a timeout] to help us get a two-for-one or get a couple more possessions. Obviously, with 14 seconds left, down 1, you want to get as many chances as you can. So definitely learned from that.’’

Yikes. Imagine Bill Belichick doing this? Or John McNamara? Imagine Don Zimmer saying, “on second thought, I probably should have started Bill Lee instead of Bobby Sprowl in the fourth game of the Boston Massacre against the Yankees back in 1978.’’

It was an extraordinary admission from a professional head coach.

Style points deducted for not mentioning Grady Little there.

Also - think about this angle for a moment. Shank bangs out two columns last night over one Celtics loss; from the columns' time stamps he got this one out the door an hour and a half after the first one. What does that tell you about his motivation to write certain columns?

On The Brink

The Philadelphia 76ers beat the Boston Celtics on their home floor last night. Naturally Shank is there to set up one of his favorite column themes - the epic failure:

After a stunning loss to the Sixers at home in Game 5, the Celtics are on the brink of becoming an epic failure

Perhaps the piece de resistance was Jaylen Brown (3 for 8 from the free throw line) going to the line for two free throws — when the Celtics seemed to be rallying — and missing both with 9:16 left and the Celtics trailing by 14.

Beyond weak. And these guys want you to think they are elite?

What have they won?

Ever?

They care about All-NBA and Subway sandwiches and social media love. But while playing for an organization that expects clutch plays and championships, they have done little to indicate they are anything more than posers.

There is still time for the 2022-23 Celtics to redeem themselves. It’s time for the two Jays (Jayson Tatum and Brown) to step up. This is supposed to be their time, but now they are on the threshold of an epic fail.

If / when that happens, expect no less than four columns about it.

Their Loss Is His Gain

Another loss by the Boston Celtics, another column by Shank with a familiar refrain:

With the game on the line, why wouldn’t Celtics coach Joe Mazzulla call a timeout?

PHILADELPHIA — Joe Mazzulla hates timeouts the way I hate mushrooms.

We saw this again Sunday after Boston Strangler James Harden splashed a 24-foot 3-pointer from the right corner with 19 seconds left to give the 76ers a 116-115 lead in overtime of Game 4.

Timeout, right? Call everybody over, draw up the old Picket Fence Play, and let the Sixers get caught watching the paint dry as one of Boston’s mighty Jays hits the game-winner or gets fouled and makes a pair to clinch it.

Nope. That would be the conventional Brad Stevens, Hoosier Way.

Joey M trusts his guys and lets them play it out.

So the coach didn't do something and they lost the game; let the second guessing commence!

DHL Dan CLXVIII - I Will Choose A Path That's Clear

Hey - any time you can work in a Rush reference, you gotta do it!

Shank, as he's wont to do on occasion, recalls past Boston Celtics glory and laments the length of time between championships:

The Celtics have won only one championship since 1986, but the path to another is clear

PHILADELPHIA — “Picking up the pieces of a sweet shattered (Bruins) dream … ”

With the Boston Celtics, it’s always about history.

Much as New England loves to celebrate the old Celtics dynasty, the fact remains that this franchise has won only one championship since dinosaur Hall of Famers Larry Bird, Robert Parish, Kevin McHale, Dennis Johnson, and Bill Walton roamed the parquet in 1986. That’s one banner in 37 years.

This comes to mind as I sit here in Philadelphia (watching the scalding-hot Red Sox), waiting for Game 4 of the Celtics-76ers conference semifinal series.

The Celtics are better poised to win another flag than at any time since they were the greatest team in the history of the NBA (50-1 at home) in 1986. And their own history won’t leave them alone.

Friday’s 114-102 Game 3 win over the Sixers (MVP Joel Embiid dropped to 1-10 in playoff games vs. Boston) pushed the Green to a 2-1 series lead. The Celtics are 14-7 in series against this franchise — bouts that included Bill Russell vs. Wilt Chamberlain, Bird vs. Julius Erving, and Paul Pierce vs. Allen Iverson.

The Joe Mazzulla Column

Shank takes a slightly different look at the Boston Celtics during their playoff run, with the focus on head coach Joe Mazzulla:

Can Celtics coach Joe Mazzulla relax now with a series lead against the 76ers? No chance.

PHILADELPHIA — The Celtics led almost from wire to wire and beat the Philadelphia 76ers, 114-102, in Game 3 of their conference semifinal Friday at the Wells Fargo Center. Boston leads the series, 2-1, and has a great shot to get back to the Finals and maybe win the franchise’s 18th banner.

“I think we managed the game well,” coach Joe Mazzulla said after the win. " … It’s the playoffs. We’re playing against a great team … every possession is a round. Our only expectation is to be ahead at the end of the game.”

Can the super-serious Celtics rookie coach Joe Mazzulla now relax?

No way.

Mazzulla is tightly wound. He is cut in the mold of Ralph Nader, Colonel Nathan Jessup, and … dare we say … Bill Belichick? Let’s just say he’s unlikely to get a call if NESN needs someone to replace Charlie Moore, the Mad Fisherman.

Whatever that's supposed to mean...

Bitter To The Last Drop

News Flash - Shank's still pissed off at New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft:

Big win again for Kraft today. He embarrasses Parcells yet again. Canton hall of famer Parcells can’t crack petty pats hall of fame. More stupid than zevon missing rock HOF again.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) May 3, 2023

Who's being petty here? You decide!

Having It Both Ways, By Dan Shaughnessy

Dan gets called out on his hypocrisy (and early bad take on the Red Sox) once again:

Embarrassing to be this desperate to please one's bosses. https://t.co/o62W9PQm6B

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) May 2, 2023

Kind of my point, right? But if you’re going to start telling me they’re in last place after a game I’m going to point out there not after 30. Can’t play it both ways. Either we’re talking standings or we’re not. I’d just as soon not.

— Tom Caron (blue checkmark redacted) (@TomCaron) May 2, 2023

Weak response by the Shankster there; either refute the point or say nothing about it. Sometimes silence is golden.

Maybe It's You, Shank

Shank's in rare form right now - an epic loss by the Boston Bruins on Sunday, then the Philadelphia 76'ers come into the (TD) Garden last night and beat the Celtics in the first game in the Eastern Concerence semifinals:

What did we do to deserve this? First the Bruins, now the Celtics stunned at TD Garden?

At what point, precisely, did TD Garden become Boston’s House of Blues?

Seriously.

Less than 24 hours after the bottom-seeded Florida Panthers drove a pipe through the greatest regular-season team in NHL history (your Boston Bruins), the heavily-favored Celtics submitted an NBA meltdown of epic proportions and kicked away Game 1 of their conference semifinal, 119-115, against a Philadelphia 76ers team playing without presumed league MVP Joel Embiid.

I mean, what did Boston do to deserve this?

Maybe it's due to players reading constantly negative columns in the Boston Globe (and elsewhere)? Seems a plausible a reason as any.

Perspective

Most of the time when a local sports team crashes out of the playoffs early, Shank's all over them like a fly on shit. Not this time:

As awful as the Bruins loss was, it’s not the worst sports calamity we have endured

Where do we put this one?

Where does the Bruins’ epic playoff fail rank in the pantheon of local pro sports disappointments?

It’s perhaps in contention for the bronze medal. But this is subjective stuff, and I’m happy to let you be the judge.

I think we can all agree that the old Red Sox forever will be the gold standard when it comes to flops that demoralize the entire region. In this spirit, the Red Sox’ 1986 World Series fold forever will be the capo di tutti capi of Boston sports collapses. After 68 years of near-misses (hello Bucky Dent and Denny Galehouse), the Sox were one strike away from winning the World Series at Shea Stadium, but they dissolved in a 10th inning that famously featured the Steamer’s wild pitch and Mookie Wilson’s Little League grounder between Billy Buck’s wickets.

It's a good column, primarily because Shank gets to write about one of his favorite subjects - epic losses by Boston sports teams.

A Tale Of Two Columns

Shank on Tuesday, after the Boston Celtics lost Game 5 of their first round series against the Atlanta Hawks on an incredible shot by Trae Young:

The Celtics may still win it all, but this loss was about as bad as it gets

Perhaps as soon as Thursday, Boston fans will be able to look back and laugh. Maybe in six weeks we’ll remember this one as the night the immature, still-without-rings Celtics finally woke up and realized they’re not as good as they think they are. Maybe this will prove to be the epiphany — the moment in which the Celtics finally understood something so simple and so huge.

But this is not that moment. Right now, in real time, this can only be described as one of the greatest gag jobs in Boston sports history. Call it Atlanta’s revenge for 28-3. It was a collapse worthy of the pre-2004 Red Sox. At this moment, the 2023 Celtics are Parquet Posers.

Graced with the presence of the Tomato Can Hawks (41-41), the mighty Celtics — Vegas favorites to win the NBA championship — Tuesday coughed up a 13-point lead (at home!) in the final six minutes of a potential Game 5 clincher and lost to the undermanned Hawks, 119-117. Trae Young’s calm, 30-foot pull-up with 1.8 seconds left stunned the Celtics and NBA America. The unraveling Celtics never got another shot off.

Pretty strong words, eh?

Shank, last night when the Celtics finally buried the Hawks:

The Celtics finished the job and beat the Hawks, so now everybody can relax — until Monday

Everybody can calm down now. The Celtics have advanced to the second round of the NBA playoffs and will open the conference semifinals Monday on Causeway Street against their time-tested rivals, the Philadelphia 76ers.

This did not come easily. The widely-mocked Hawks beat the Celtics twice in the first round, including a dramatic Game 5 comeback at the Garden.

Celtic Nation was somewhat demoralized by that fourth-quarter fold, but the Green Team rallied Thursday in Atlanta, breaking open a tight game with a 11-0 run, clinching a 128-120 Game 6 victory. Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown, the two Jays who folded late in Game 5, took control of a frenetic clincher — a game that featured 15 ties and 22 lead changes.

“I thought our guys did a great job at the end of just locking in,” said Boston’s rookie coach-under-seige (sic - Ed.), Joe Mazzulla. " . . . Definitely different from Game 5.”

Gotta love it - the Boston Globe's 'ace' sports columnist unironically calling the Atlanta Hawks 'widely mocked' while not telling you (or hoping you don't remember) he was one of the ones doing the mocking. This is one of the constant critiques of Shank here and elsewhere once blogging took off back in the early 2000's. And - he's completely shameless, like someone's not gonna figure this out.

Do you have any doubts as to which sports columnist just might be laying siege (correct spelling) to the current head coach of the Celtics? Yes, that's a rhetorical question.

Tres Hombres

Shank writes about yesterday's clean sweep for Boston sports teams:

Celtics make it a clean sweep on Boston’s tripleheader road-show Sunday

ATLANTA — Sunday sweep.

A Hub hoop-hockey-hardball hat trick.

The Celtics beat the Hawks, 129-121, in Game 4 at State Farm Arena.

The Bruins beat the Florida Panthers, 6-2, in Game 4 at Sunrise, Fla.

And the Red Sox pummeled the Brewers at Milwaukee, 12-5.

I am told this is only the third time in history that the C’s, and B’s both won playoff road games on the same day the Sox won a regular-season roadie, according to Boston Sports Info. That’s three times in the 74 springs the teams have co-existed in Boston. Pretty good.

This could be a great week on Causeway Street. The Celts can eliminate the hungry, young Hawks Tuesday at the Garden and the Spoked-B’s can send the Panthers home for the summer Wednesday. There’ll be closeout sales all around. It’s still early in this playoff spring, but both teams have a golden opportunity to make it to the Finals in June.

The column's mostly about the Celtics, with only a single Shankism mentioned (The sons of Danny Ainge and Brad Stephens...).

Quiz Time!

The Boston Bruins won last night against the Florida Panthers, 4 - 2.

The Boston Celtics lost last night to the Atlanta Hawks, 130 - 122.

Which game do you think Shank did a column on? Of course he wrote about the losing team!

While you weren’t watching, Celtics get stunned by Hawks in Game 3, and they deserved to lose

ATLANTA — While most of you were watching the Bruins and national hoop pundits seemed to ignore this series altogether, the forever .500 Hawks (41-41 this year) beat the Celtics, 130-122, Friday in Game 3 of their heretofore ho-hum first-round playoff series.

Begging the question: If a Tree Rollins falls in the NBA forest, and nobody is watching, does it make a sound?

Count this veteran observer as one who did not think the Hawks would win a single game against the mighty Celtics in this early round. The Green led by 32 in Game 1 and by 22 in Game 2 and didn’t trail after the first quarter of either game.

But you know the only saying: an NBA playoff series doesn’t start until the road team wins a game.

Now the Celtics will have to wait until Sunday (or later) for that. And they’ve guaranteed that there will be a Game 5 in Boston Tuesday night. Boo.

He sounds really shook up about it...

DHL Dan CLXVII - No Excuses

A rather predictable stance from Shank on the 2022-2023 Boston Celtics:

No excuses for Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown this time, and other thoughts

ATLANTA — Picked-up pieces while asking Peachtree People if they still remember 28-3 …

▪ It’s time for Boston’s Basketball Jays to step up and win an NBA championship.

The path is clear. The Celtics have more good players than any other NBA team, and a lot of contenders are dealing with playoff injuries. In old Patriot-like fashion, all the worthy opponents are falling down in front of the Celtics.

Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown have lived charmed lives here in Boston. Fans love them unconditionally, forgive all missteps, and honor them with the same reverence they bestow on the likes of Pedro Martinez, David Ortiz, Tom Brady, Rob Gronkowski, Patrice Bergeron, and Brad Marchand. Boston’s twin Jays get the big bucks, shoe deals, and Subway sandwiches. They have local media folks openly campaigning for them for things like MVP and All-NBA.

Anytime the Jays come up short — like last year in the Finals — we are reminded that they are really young.

That is ridiculous.

What's just as ridiculous, probably more so, is this time-honored tactic of Shank's to impose the absolute highest standard for Boston athletes and sports teams (championship or else) time and fucking time again and if that standard is not achieved, the season is a failure and we'll read about it for the next fortnight with numerous withering negative columns. And - last I checked I've never seen either Celtic in a Subway commercial. I had a sub there once, about ten years ago and I've never been back.

Toys In The Attic

Game 2 of the first round series between the Atlanta Hawks and the Boston Celtics is proceeding as expected, with the Celtics winning the first two games. Shank and Cedric Maxwell think it's all too easy:

Celtics dismantle Hawks again in what is becoming the very definition of toying with your opponent

Cedric Maxwell, now part of the Celtics’ broadcast team, has plans when the Celts play Games 3 and 4 against the Hawks in Atlanta this weekend.

“Going to visit with my old friend Dominique [Wilkins],” Max said early Tuesday evening. “I’ll probably go to my favorite shoe store, Friedman’s. Oh, and on Saturday I might have to go to the hardware store to buy a broom.’’

Ah yes. In the event of a sweep, one certainly needs a broom.

The Celtics built another big lead (22 points) and beat the Hawks, 119-106, at TD Garden Tuesday in Game 2 of their first-round, ho-hum playoff series. Derrick White scored 26 for the Green and Jayson Tatum was good for 29. Games 3 and 4 are Friday and Sunday at State Farm Arena in Atlanta. If form holds, Boston’s next home game will be Game 1 of the conference semifinals, probably against Joel Embiid and the Philadelphia 76ers.

While not as obvious as in previous years, you can sense that Shank is setting up expectations that the Celtics can't live up to, so he can take a monster shit on them if / when they lose a series.

Rained Out

On Marathon Monday, Shank wove a few sports together and called it a column:

Two of sport’s best — Eliud Kipchoge and Shohei Ohtani — were in town, but rain fell on their parade

One can make a case that the world’s two greatest athletes were both in Boston Monday, performing less than a half-mile from one another.

But our sloppy spring weather was the ultimate winner. New England’s April remains undefeated.

Kenyan superstar Eliud Kipchoge, the undisputed greatest marathoner of all-time, finished a disappointing sixth in the 127th Boston Marathon, logging the worst time (2:09:23) of his epic career. His countryman Evans Chebet was the winner for the second straight year.

Meanwhile, over at ancient Fenway Park (forever 15 years younger than our Marathon), Shohei Ohtani, the Babe Ruth of the 21st century, pitched two hitless innings and cracked a couple of singles but his mound start was cut short by car-wash rains that repeatedly stalled play in a 5-4 Angels victory over the Red Sox.

Resistance Is Futile

So sayeth The Shankster about the Boston Celtics' first-round matchup with the Atlanta Hawks:

We’ll resist the temptation to declare this Celtics-Hawks series over, but . . .

The Celtics toyed with the Atlanta Hawks on Saturday, bolting to a 32-point, third-quarter lead, then cruising to a 112-99 victory in Game 1 of their first-round playoff series.

This is where we resist the temptation to declare the series over in a four game sweep.

I was sitting on press row (courtside in the old days!) on Memorial Day in 1985 when the defending world champion Celtics beat the Lakers, 148-114, in Game 1 of the Finals. Scott Wedman came off the bench to make 11 of 11 shots and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar looked about 147 years old. I’m pretty sure I compared Kareem to an over-the-hill Willie Mays flopping around Shea Stadium in the 1973 World Series.

Two weeks later, the Lakers beat the Celtics by 11 points in Game 6 to win the NBA championship in Boston Garden. Kareem was named Finals MVP.

Lesson learned, then!

DHL Dan CLXVI - Springtime In Boston

The snow's all melted (!), the flowers are blooming and Shank writes what looks and feels like his annual springtime column:

This is the best time of the Boston sports year, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while reminding ourselves yet again that this truly is the greatest sports town in America …

▪ What was your preference this weekend? Celtics-Hawks in playoff Game 1 Saturday afternoon at the Garden? Sunday afternoon’s celebration of the Boston Strong 2013 World Series champs at Fenway? How about Boston sports’s Magic Monday?

On Monday morning, you can watch Babe Ruth/Shohei Ohtani pitch against the Sox at Fenway (where Babe actually pitched!). After the game, you can walk down to Kenmore Square and watch thousands of runners in the 127th Boston Marathon. Then, you can waltz through the Back Bay and finish your day on Causeway Street, watching the historic 2023 Bruins launch their playoff run against the Florida Panthers.

It’s the best time of our sports year. Let’s just hope the Sox don’t get eliminated before the Celtics or Bruins.

If that happens, we'll be reading three dozen columns on how bad the 2023 Red Sox are.

The Injured Reserve List

Shank takes note of Boston Celtic forward Jaylen Brown's lack of a green thumb:

When Jaylen Brown evokes anecdotes about Vaughn Eshelman and Irving Fryar, it is not a good sign

The Celtics start their playoff run this week, and we expect them to push past Miami or Atlanta in the first round. Celtic Nation hopes All-Star Jaylen Brown returns after missing the last two games of the regular season after suffering a five-stitch cut on his right hand.

“I was watering my plant and ended up knocking over a glass vase that was next to it,” Brown said Friday. “Picked it up, set it on the ground, realized you probably shouldn’t set glass on the ground. Reached down and picked it back up, and it got me.”

There’s certainly a possibility that this is true. But fact or fiction, Brown’s mysterious cut joins a long list of domestic and recreational mishaps that have sidelined Boston athletes over the years.

Some were more serious than others. Some were barely worth mentioning. But all became part of local sports folklore.

Where do we even start?

You can start right from there, and it's a real good column, until it gets to this point:

In that same decade, Larry Bird showed up with a bruised hand in the middle of the 1985 Eastern Conference final series with the Philadelphia 76ers. Bird claimed the swollen hand was the result of a game injury, but we couldn’t find game footage of any unusual moment, and it turned out that Larry’s busted hand came in a bar altercation with a former Colgate football player.

Bird didn’t miss any games, and the Celtics advanced to the Finals, but lost to the Lakers in six. The injury may have been costly. Bird shot 52.2 percent during his 1984-85 MVP season, but only 43.5 percent in the nine playoff games after the fight. He missed 17 shots in the elimination loss to the Lakers at the Garden.

Left out of that tidbit - Shank was the first reporter who disclosed the bar fight angle, after which Bird didn't speak to him for about six months.

DHL Dan CLXV - Bruins Playoff Run Column

Shank calls his old pal Harry Sinden to get his take on this year's Boston Bruins:

What Harry Sinden thinks of these record-setting Bruins, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while wondering if the Red Sox are in need of a Chaim-lich maneuver . . .

▪ The Bruins are favorites to win the Stanley Cup. They have four regular-season games remaining and a shot at the NHL’s all-time records for wins and points. They have a chance to go down in history as the greatest NHL team of all time.

Time to check in with Harry Sinden.

Harry is the Bear in Winter, the godfather of the Spoked-B, a man who came to the Bruins in 1961. He was Bruins head coach when 18-year-old, wiffle-haired Bobby Orr first played in Boston in 1966. Together, they won the Cup in 1970.

Harry will turn 91 in September, has been married to Eleanor for 70 years, and is still on the Bruins’ masthead as “Senior Advisor to the Owner and Alternate Governor.” He is the man who drafted Don Sweeney in 1984, and traded for Cam Neely two years later.

Now Get Off My Lawn!

Shank steps into the 'old man yelling at clouds' part of his professional career:

Have celebrations in sports gone too far or are they simply a sign of the times?

Waiting for the Bruins and Celtics to start the playoffs, wondering what the Red Sox will look like when they play good teams, I find myself thinking about sportsmanship, taunting, celebrations, and getting old.

Getting old comes first in this sports story because it colors the way one thinks about sportsmanship, taunting, and celebrations.

This is the sports fans’ circle of life.

I will swear on a stack of bibles I did not read any of this column before going with my opening comments. The title of the column is all that's required.

Old-timers want things to stay the way they were. There’s a (misguided, no doubt) notion that the games, athletes, and traditions were better and more classy in the old days. Guys who hit homers put their heads down and acknowledged their achievement with a polite, Harvard Club handshake as they crossed home plate. Running backs went across the goal line, then turned and pitched the ball back to the official. Our games had a DiMaggio/Barry Sanders dignity. Heroes “acted like they’d been there before.”

In 2023, young fans want action, color, noise, and “look at me” chest-thumping. This is sports. It’s supposed to be fun. There’s nothing wrong with a little celebration — even if that means mocking your opponent. And anybody who doesn’t like it is either Clint Eastwood grumbling “Get off my lawn!” or Abe Simpson yelling at clouds (I’d prefer to be Mick Jagger singing “Get Off Of My Cloud,” but that’s never happening).

Read on for more of the same. I'll make a couple of notes that'll nuke Shank's whole premise and document yet again his hypocrisy on the matter. First - Shank doesn't mind the concept of 'trash talk', as long as it's directed at someone or a team he doesn't like, like the 2015 New York Jets, Arian Foster of the Houston Texans, or even when noted local columnist Jon Keller was defending him for Shank's use of 'trash talk' (i.e., his usual MO of antagonizing fans) with harsh columns.

Second - for anyone who watched the 1980's Boston Celtics, there is no greater trash talker then or now than Larry Bird. Kevin Garnett gives him a good run for his money but let's just focus on Bird for a moment. Does anyone out there think Shank would, for instance, direct this kind of column's critiques toward the Hick from French Lick? Hell would freeze over first.

Third - here's an old gem from the archives, the third and final nail in the proverbial coffin. Shank's also fine with 'trash talk' when it helps him write a column. The salient part:

Further into the column, Shank demonstrates his hypocrisy (We never would have known about it in the genteel good old days.):

“You could not print all the things we said,’’ said Cedric Maxwell, Ainge’s teammate from the 1980s and a Hall of Fame trash talker. “You could not write it all down. The families. The moms. Didn’t make any difference. We didn’t have to be politically correct. We could be asinine.

“I remember one guy, before the start of a playoff series, saying, ‘No way that bitch is getting 40 points off of me.’ Somebody wrote that down and it actually got in the paper.’’

I know. Because Max said it about Bernard King, and I wrote it down, and it appeared in the Sunday Globe on the day of the first game of the 1984 Eastern Conference semifinals between the Celtics and Knicks. King refused to shake Max’s hand before the game. King didn’t get his 40 until Game 3, but the Celtics won the series.

Does anyone seriously think this (or the 1984) column get written if Larry Bird was the trash talker in question?

Some questions are evergreen, and answer themselves.

He might have a point about the obnoxious celebrations (a light show during a Red Sox game is indeed WTF territory) were it not for most of the aforementioned faux lamenting of modern-day trash talk when he's been fine with it for decades.

DHL Dan CLXIV - Haunted

Thre's always one player or manager on the Red Sox that's in Shank's doghouse - Roger Clemens, Pedro Martinez, Nomar Garciaparra, Adrian Gonzalez, Carl Crawford, Grady Little, Manny Ramirez, Theo Epstein, Josh Beckett and John Lackey (the 'chicken & beer' guys), Bobby Valentine, Jacoby Ellsbury, David Ortiz and a host of others. This year's scapegoat is hard-luck pitcher Chris Sale, who has yet to pitch for the Sox this year. Why let a mere detail like that get in the way of a good rip job?

The Chris Sale contract continues to haunt the Red Sox, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while waiting for Reese McGuire to make a throw when an Oriole is stealing a base …

▪ At this moment, Chris Sale’s contract extension — inked in the sugar-high spring of 2019 when the Red Sox could have waited to measure his health — is the worst signing in Boston sports history.

It’s worse than deals given to Rusney Castillo or Pablo Sandoval. Worse than Carl Crawford or Matt Young. Way worse than David Price or Daisuke Matsuzaka. Worse than Vin Baker, Pervis Ellison, Antoine Walker, or even Rick Pitino. Worse than Kevin Stevens, Marty Lapointe, or Adalius Thomas.

Them's fighting words - there was never a worse signing than Rick Pitino, whose awful reign was the equivalent of burning the Celtics to its foundations, then salting the earth where the dying embers lay. I'm also deducting a style point for Shank not mentioning Curt Schilling's last contract.

Sale delivered in his first two seasons in Boston and got the final out of the 2018 World Series. This isn’t about that. This is about the non-yield since the Sox went out of their way to lock him up in that fateful spring.

This is also the eight time Shank's mentioned / complained about Sale's contract 'since that fateful spring', a pinata of Shank's which always delivers a few treats whenever he whacks it.

Poisoned By Last Place

Those are Shank's words from yesterday's column, not mine, but we all knew he'd be singing this tune after... one loss?

Not surprisingly, the Red Sox already are back in last place

The 0-1 Red Sox are in last place.

Which is home for this once-great franchise. The Sox have finished in last place in five of the last 11 seasons — more than any other team in Major League Baseball.

The upstart Orioles beat the Boston wannabes, 10-9, Thursday at frozen Fenway — a train wreck of a baseball game (12 walks, 3 errors, 5 Oriole stolen bases, none of which drew a throw) in a non-tidy 3 hours and 10 minutes.

Ugh. This is not what Theo Epstein was aiming for when he helped create rules that hasten down the wind and speed up the game.

With the Sox trailing, 10-4, in the middle of the eighth inning, the Olde Towne Team came off the field on a freezing March afternoon and the public address system blared “Sweet Caroline.”

So good. So good. So good. The Orioles’ mound wildness and defensive sloppiness made it close in the final two frames, but the Sox were worthy losers, and frozen fans went home unhappy, probably emboldened with false hope.

Shank buried this team quicker than anybody Whitey Bulger buried at Tenean Beach.

Celebrate Good Times - Come On!

Yeah, I went with the Kool and The Gang lyric there, before Shank had his chance to do the same:

Regardless of Red Sox expectations, this is a day to celebrate the return of baseball

For one shining moment, let’s have no snark. No cynicism. No wiseguy remarks about bat-to-ball skills, spin rate, analytic geeks, standing ovations in Springfield, or payroll flexibility.

Let’s celebrate the start of another baseball season. The Red Sox are 0-0 and not yet poisoned by last place or false narratives.

You don't need the benefit of hindsight to realize that line is world-class bullshit. I mean it helps a lot, but whatever...

Almost 30 years ago, the Washington Post’s Thomas Boswell — their Gammons — released a book titled, “Why Time Begins on Opening Day.”

It’s a great phrase and reminds us of a long-ago day when baseball was king of New England and Opening Day was a legal excuse to skip school.

Happy New Year, everyone. The Red Sox are readying for their 123rd season opener Thursday (2:10 p.m.) at ancient, beautiful Fenway Park against the Orioles and we are in Full Rochie, Hakuna Matata mode.

For this one day only, we are all Bart Giamatti, Roger Angell, Ken Burns, and Doris Kearns Goodwin.

Ich bin ein citizen of Red Sox Nation.

I wonder if Shank realizes that line from JFK is actually a massive gaffe? The literal meaning of 'Ein Berliner' is 'a donut' / 'one donut'; the proper way for JFK to have conveyed his message in German is 'Ich bin Berliner', or 'I am of Berlin'; i.e., 'I'm one of you.'

DHL Dan CLXIII - Stating The Obvious

Shank helps to set a certain tone for the 2023 Boston Red Sox:

Red Sox can’t afford a rough start to this season, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while wondering when Pete Rose becomes commissioner of baseball …

▪ When Chaim Bloom sat for his first spring training interview at Fenway South on Valentine’s Day, the first question was, “Do you think your job is on the line this year?”

Welcome back, Red Sox.

No pressure, Chaim.

The Sox open their 123rd big league season at Fenway Park against the Orioles Thursday afternoon. That night, the first-place Bruins will play the Columbus Blue Jackets at the Garden, while the Celtics will be in Milwaukee for a critical game against the Bucks. The Bruins have a chance to win more games than any other team in NHL history, and the Celtics — who have more good players than any other NBA team — are trying to make it to the Finals for a second consecutive spring.

The Red Sox? They’re trying to avoid a second straight last-place finish and abject irrelevance in the New England sports marketplace.

If and when the Red Sox lose consecutive games, you can be sure Shank will be there with a few columns specifically designed to put them into 'abject irrelevance'.

DHL Dan CLXII - Cleanup In Aisle 5

Some things are naturals together - bacon & eggs, Rum & Coke, and Shank and local pro sports teams on losing streaks:

Brad Stevens says Celtics have things to ‘clean up’, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while remembering a guy bellowing “We love ya, Cooz!” from the Garden’s upper deck 60 years ago Friday …

▪ Brad Stevens sees the same things you see. The Celtics president of basketball operations is ever-careful and diplomatic, but he knows the team isn’t playing great ball the way it was at this time last year. He sees the blown leads, Jayson Tatum’s struggles, the rugged learning curve for Joe Mazzulla, and the reliance on 3-pointers. He knows better than anyone what it’s like to coach today’s fundamentally challenged, social media-driven NBA talents.

The slumping, still-immature Celtics came into the weekend with 12 regular-season games remaining, having dropped 2½ games behind Milwaukee in the quest for the Eastern Conference’s top seed.

“I’m certainly not looking at it as the sky is falling, but we’ve got to clean some things up,” Stevens said after the Celtics’ 2-point win at Minnesota Wednesday. “If you look across the top of the East, we have not played as well out of the break as probably the other top five or six teams. We’re not in the playoffs tomorrow, but we’re not far.”

What's This 'We' Shit, Kemosabe?

Shank feels left out (or he's feigning it again) of this year's NCAA basketball tournament:

We’re feeling left out of the men’s March Madness — and it wasn’t always like this

No white sport coat. No pink carnation. We are Big Dance wallflowers.

It’s March Madness season across the USA, but here in Greater Boston, we’re not involved. We are the ultimate outsiders. We are landline folks in a SmartPhone World.

The NCAA men’s Division 1 basketball tournament is more popular than ever and launches in full fury Thursday and Friday with subregionals in Columbus, Greensboro, Orlando, Sacramento, Des Moines, Albany, Denver, and Birmingham.

Here in the Hub of the Universe, we have no Terriers or Huskies in this fight. Also, no Eagles, Minutemen, Crimson, or Crusaders.

New England is represented. Sort of. On Friday, 15th-seeded Vermont plays Marquette in Columbus, fourth-seeded UConn faces Rick Pitino’s Iona in Albany, and 11th-seeded Providence plays John Calipari’s Kentucky Wildcats in Greensboro.

Once again, Shank writes a column whose tone is unmistakably provincial and arrogant - it's all about Boston / New England. The kicker is the use of John Calipari's picture to head the column; Shank hates this fucking guy, yet he'll use the picture to help sell the column. I was watching an ESPN '30 for 30' show about John Calipari a few days ago, and at one point it showed a picture of one of Shank's columns bashing Calipari during the end of Calipari's tenure at UMass, otherwise known as the 'run him out of town' phase of the relationship. Utterly shameless.

The Old Rivlary

Shank covers a spring training game between the Red Sox and Yankees:

The names have changed, but Red Sox and Yankees always carries weight

FORT MYERS, Fla. — Yankees-Red Sox.

Ruth. Gehrig. DiMaggio. Mantle. Jeter. Judge. Williams. Yastrzemski. Rice. Pedro. Manny. Mookie.

What tradition. What folklore. What a galaxy of stars and stories. Fisk vs. Munson. Fenway Park and Yankee Stadium. The greatest rivalry in sports.

And we had none of that at JetBlue Park on a postcard-perfect Sunday afternoon.

We had Allen. Koss. Bauers. Chaparro. Gomez. Costanza. (OK, I made that last one up.)

Quick quiz: Tell me which of those names above are Yankees and which play for the Red Sox?

Nobody knows. But that’s OK. This is spring training. The Sox have 10 players at the World Baseball Classic and sent a whole team to Sarasota for a split squad game Sunday against the Orioles. When you combine that with the cost-cutting exodus of homegrown talent — where have you gone, Xander Bogaerts? Sox Nation turns its lonely eyes to you — you’re not going to have a lot of star power for a mid-March exhibition against a Yankees team that didn’t want to put Aaron Judge, Giancarlo Stanton, Anthony Rizzo, and Gerrit Cole on a 130-minute bus ride from Tampa.

So much for all that weight, with half of both squads missing from the game...

Always An Optimist

Shank, back for another round of Fort Myers fun, trackes down Red Sox GM Chaim Bloom, who's all rainbows and fluffy bunnies:

Keeping Chaim Bloom’s optimism in perspective, and other thoughts

FORT MYERS, Fla. — Picked-up pieces while waiting for Joe Mazzulla to call timeout …

▪ At Red Sox spring training in 1967, rookie manager Dick Williams — inheriting a 72-90 team that finished ninth — asserted that the Sox would win more games than they lose. They wound up going to the seventh game of the World Series.

Unfortunately, there are no guarantees in Bloomville.

I put the question to beleaguered Sox baseball boss Chaim Bloom on Thursday morning at Fenway South: Can you guarantee that the ‘23 Sox will win more than they lose? Or maybe just promise they won’t finish last again?

“There are no guarantees in this game,” Bloom said. “And especially not in the AL East. So no, I can’t honestly give fans a guarantee. That’s what makes baseball fun. You don’t know what’s going to happen. I think this is going to be a fun team.”

Coexistence

I wonder if John Henry told Shank to knock it off with the relenting negativity for the 2023 Boston Red Sox?

With Red Sox, hope and realism can exist at the same time

FORT MYERS, Fla. — On my way back to spring training, I got into a small Twitter dustup with Red Sox mascot Jared Carrabis, a wildly popular baseball fan from Saugus who has turned his Sox love into a business empire.

The likable Carrabis landed a sweet gig with a betting company, has a billion Twitter followers, has his own NESN show, and the Sox love him so much he had his own duck boat station for the last championship parade. He was the official team moderator when fans revolted at Winter Weekend in Springfield.

Jared has been promoting the great “vibes” in (still undefeated!) Red Sox camp, and after Raimel Tapia’s homer in a 7-1 win over the mighty Tigers Monday, he wrote, “We went from the Red Sox are scrambling to put together an outfield to the Red Sox have too many outfielders and not enough spots REAL quick.”

Read on for the modern equivalent of a slap fight.

DHL Dan CLXI - Ramming Speed!

Shank's pretty happy about the recent modifications in Major League Baseball:

Getting baseball up to speed again is reason to rejoice, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while brushing my teeth in less than 20 seconds …

▪ We love baseball. But baseball has not loved us back in recent decades.

The game we grew up with became unrecognizable as MLB asked fans to endure interminable stretches of non-action and abject indifference. We had pitchers who would not throw the ball and hitters who would not step into the batter’s box. None of the players seemed aware that they’d brought a once-great game to a standstill.

Now everything has changed. We have a pitch clock, mandating action. To avoid being assessed an automatic ball, pitchers have 20 seconds to throw a pitch (15 if the bases are empty). To avoid an automatic strike, batters need to be in the box, ready to swing, with eight seconds left on the clock. Spring games are being played an average of 26 minutes faster. With more action.

Hallelujah.

Gotta say I agree with him 100%. Regular season games are tough to watch when they take three hours to play and we're well aware of how long typical Red Sox / Yankees games (and most playoff games as well) can take. These moves will save baseball's ass in the long run.

A Cautionary Tale

The Boston Bruins currently have the best record in the NHL. Leave it to Shank to mention potential adverse results once the playoffs come around:

What happened in 1971 should be a cautionary tale for this year’s Bruins

The 2022-23 Boston Bruins are the best team in hockey, enjoying what might end up being the greatest regular season in the 105-year history of the National Hockey League. They are favorites to win the Stanley Cup.

But more than in any other sport, the best team doesn’t always win in hockey.

Ask the 1970-71 Bruins, or any old-timers who followed that powerhouse all those years ago.

The Bobby Orr Bruins won the Cup in 1970 and ’72, but the best team of that golden era was the ’71 team. The ’71 Bruins won more games, scored more goals, and piled up more points than the Cup teams that bookended them.

And they never made it out of the first round of the playoffs. The mighty Bruins were beaten in seven games by the hated Montreal Canadiens and kid goalie Ken Dryden, who had only six games of NHL experience before the playoffs.

Running into one of the five best goaltenders of all time will likely result in bad things happening to your team, and that's part of the 1971 loss to the Canadiens. Also - the rest of the Canadiens' roster wasn't too bad, either!

DHL Dan CLX - Eyes On The Prize

Back from his grueling two week trip to Fort Myers to write all of three columns on the 2023 spring training Boston Red Sox, Shank turns his attention to Celtics ace Jayson Tatum and wants him to turn his attention to...

It’s time for Jayson Tatum to focus on the prize that really matters, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while hoping my pipes don’t freeze and wondering why I came back from Florida …

▪ Enough with the MVP campaign, birthday parties, signature shoes, Subway sandwiches, and hunger for individual accolades.

It’s time for Jayson Tatum to step up and lead the Celtics to the NBA championship.

Tatum is clearly the most talented player on this Celtics team and is on a path to crack into the franchise’s all-time starting five (Bill Russell, Larry Bird, John Havlicek, Bob Cousy, Paul Pierce, Kevin McHale, Kevin Garnett, Sam Jones, and Dave Cowens are my top nine). He was just named All-Star MVP and has a chance to break Bird’s team record for single-season scoring average (29.9 in 1987-88).

Tatum turns 25 this coming week and is in his sixth season in the league. In Bird’s first six NBA seasons, he won two championships and two MVPs.

Red Sox Q & A Session, Without The A

Boston Red Sox owner (and also owner of the Boston Globe) John Henry was in Fort Myers today, but he wasn't there to chew the fat with the media:

With John Henry not speaking, all we have are questions and not answers

“If you could afford it, would you own a major league baseball team? I can’t imagine anything more fun … I have nothing to complain about. How could I possibly complain? Everyone in this community loves the Red Sox so much.”

— Red Sox principal owner John Henry, September 2008.

FORT MYERS, Fla. — Has owning the Red Sox stopped being fun?

This is one of the questions I wanted to ask John Henry at Fenway South Monday. Henry was there with his wife, Linda Pizzuti Henry, and Red Sox CEO Sam Kennedy for the annual ownership meeting with players and team support staff.

But he wasn’t taking questions. Not in the conventional way, at least.

From 2002-20, Henry & Co. engaged in a state-of-the-team press conference after their annual pep talk to the team at spring training. The pandemic and lockout interrupted that tradition in 2021 and 2022, but now Henry won’t take questions in a live setting. He prefers email questions, which produce careful, canned answers.

Safe to conclude John Henry no longer considers it 'fun', with recent teams underacheving and a more hostile than normal media.

Nomad

That's the moniker Shank hangs on Bobby Dalbec:

The Red Sox’ resident nomad, Bobby Dalbec, enters a pivotal spring

FORT MYERS, Fla. — Bobby Dalbec.

He’s The Beatles’ real “Nowhere Man.” Sitting in the Red Sox spring training clubhouse. Looking at his collection of fielding mitts. He knows not where he’s going to. He might be making plans for nobody.

Or Worcester. Or a new organization.

Dalbec’s going to be 28 in a few months and it feels like he’s run out of opportunities with the Red Sox. He hit .215 in 117 games last season, whiffing himself out of a spot in Alex Cora’s everyday lineup and earning a ticket to Worcester. In 273 big-league games over three seasons he’s hit 45 homers, batted .232, and struck out in 35 percent of his plate appearances.

He’s been a major league third baseman and first baseman, and now there’s talk of him in the middle infield, outfield, or even (gulp) pitching.

DHL Dan CLIX - Critical Year Ahead

With the prospects of a successful season by the Boston Red Sox seem slim, Shank's doing his best to pile on:

This is a critical year for the Red Sox and Chaim Bloom, and other thoughts

FORT MYERS, Fla. — Picked-up pieces from a correspondent’s 44th spring training …

▪ Wheeling into JetBlue Park at 7:45 a.m. on a balmy Tuesday for my first look at the 2023 Red Sox, the first person I saw was beleaguered, sweaty baseball boss Chaim Bloom doing his morning jog around the training complex.

Trust me when I tell you I never spotted Lou Gorman running around Chain O’ Lakes Park in Winter Haven.

Yabba Dabba Lou was a frequent target of Sox fans and media, but he never got booed by fans at a team promotional event. He never operated the Sox like a small-market team, and never finished last twice in three seasons.

Ditto for Dan Duquette, Theo Epstein, Ben Cherington, and Dave Dombrowski. They took the slings and arrows that come with the Boston Baseball Experience, but none was charged with franchise malpractice.

This 2023 season is critical in many ways for your Boston Red Sox, especially for Bloom.

The Chris Sale Column

Shank sits down with Red Sox pitcher Chris Sale, where the conversation starts off with concerns about weight and durbility:

Chris Sale appears thinner than usual but doesn’t sound concerned about holding up

FORT MYERS, Fla. — Chris Sale looks too thin to dominate big league hitters for a full season.

I know, I know … Sale has always been a skinny guy. Ask those hitters who couldn’t see his 100-mile-per-hour heater. Ask them if he’s too thin. Come see us in July when Sale is 10-1 and starting the All-Star Game in Seattle.

Sale threw a bullpen session Wednesday at Fenway South, then spoke with the media on the first day of pitchers-and-catchers workouts. He had the high heat. He has the great positive attitude. He plans on being Alex Cora’s Opening Day starter at Fenway against the Orioles March 30.

But he looks even thinner than usual. Gandhi-like. And though I am neither a doctor nor nutritionist, Sale’s physique makes me wonder whether his hereditary frame — the skinny gene — makes things tougher as he attempts to once again be a stud starter for the Sox.

Read on for the details, and a bonus pop culture reference not from the 1970's:

(Chris Sale, 2010 - 2012) Three seasons, $90 million, and 48⅓ innings.

The whole thing reminds me of a line from “The Town” when Ben Affleck and Jeremy Renner pose as cops and steal millions from a vault at Fenway Park.

“No one’s robbed the Sawx like that since Jack Clark!” one says to the other as they prepare to leave the park with their heist.

Book 'Em, Danno

The 2023 Boston Red Sox season starts this week, and at the same time a book comes out detailing the Houston Astros cheating from a few years ago, when now Red Sox manager Alex Cora was then (in 2017) a bench manager with the Astros. Naturally, members of the Boston sports media made Cora squirm in his first press conference of the season:

Opening press conference shows that, for Alex Cora, the book isn’t closed on 2017-18

Incorrect - the book isn't closed, for members of the Boston sports media. I'm pretty sure most normal fans don't give a rat's ass anymore.

FORT MYERS, Fla. — It’s never a pleasure cruise when you manage the Boston Red Sox. Hall of Fame-bound Terry Francona said it was the hardest baseball job he ever had, stating, “In Boston, it seemed like you were putting out brush fires every day.”

So how was Alex Cora greeted in his first 2023 picnic-table press conference at Fenway South Tuesday morning?

Hey, Alex. There’s a new book out today that details all your bad habits and cheating ways when you were with the Astros, and how you bragged to your 2018 Red Sox that ‘we stole that [2017] World Series.’ Care to comment?

OK, it wasn’t quite that harsh, but it was certainly not the way Cora wanted to launch the Chaim Bloom Celebration of Payroll Flexibility, which seems to be the theme of the basement-bound ‘23 Towne Team.

The actual first question, posed by WBZ’s Jonny Miller (who interviewed Eddie Kasko in Winter Haven in 1972), was, “Alex, first things first. Have you talked to anybody in the front office about remarks you made to Evan?”

Read on for more media grilling, and not of the good kind.

DHL Dan CLVIII - Super Bowl LVII Coverage

Today's venue for the Super Bowl brings back memories for Shank:

This year’s Super Bowl site brings back Patriots memories, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while buying a Super Bowl sheet cake at Stop & Shop …

▪ There have been two Super Bowls played at State Farm Stadium in Glendale, Ariz., the site of Sunday night’s matchup between the Chiefs and Eagles.

The Patriots were in both.

One good.

One bad.

Let’s go in chronological order.

Nah - Shank saves the worst for last!

Mixed Feelings

Shank takes a jump into legalized gambling:

The ship has sailed on sports wagering, but for this bettor, it’s a one-and-done proposition

I caved.

I’ve raged against the betting machine for decades. I supported Bart Giamatti when he banned Pete Rose for betting on games in the 1980s. I believe betting corrupts sports. It makes normally sane folks spit on referees and umpires. Betting has never aligned with my love of the games we watch.

I feel badly for those who have a gambling addiction, but in five decades as a sports scribe, I have largely steered clear of the betting underworld. No bookies, no cry.

'Largely', of course, includes the time Larry Bird beat his ass in a free throw contest with an injured hand, losing $160 in the process, then laying the tab on the Boston Globe for 'unreimbursed employee business expenses'.

Today sports gambling is mainstream. And state-sanctioned. It’s almost everywhere. Baseball commissioner Rob Manfred — who runs a sport that once banished Mickey Mantle and Willie Mays for merely shaking hands as casino greeters — loves gambling more than I love ice cream. Roger Goodell — who runs a sport that once suspended Paul Hornung and Alex Karras for a season for betting on games in the early 1960s — loves gambling more than Dan Shaughnessy loves chocolate chip.

It actually does get better from there, but in the end Shank's not a fan.

DHL Dan CLVII - The Hunt For Number Eighteen

Shank asks three veteran Celtics on the chances for this year's team to win it all:

Three Celtics champs — Bob Cousy, Dave Cowens, and M.L. Carr — weigh in on the chances for Banner 18, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while monitoring the southbound Red Sox equipment truck with my GPS tracking device …

▪ The Celtics have played almost two-thirds of their regular season, have the best record in the NBA, and are consensus favorites to win the NBA championship. We just saw them beat Brooklyn by 43 points, and they have a “big” game with Joel Embiid and the 76ers Wednesday on Causeway Street.

What do members of the Celtic family see when they watch this team run toward a possible record-breaking 18th banner?

Paul Pierce was here last weekend for Celtics-Lakers (LeBron James just finished crying about not getting a call at the end of regulation) and casually told our Gary Washburn that Jayson Tatum “could be the greatest Celtic to ever play.”

Whoa.

Get back, Loretta.

With this in mind, we rounded up Bob Cousy, Dave Cowens, and M.L. Carr to discuss these Celtics. Cousy and Cowens are two of only four Celtics ever named NBA MVP (Bill Russell and Larry Bird, who combined for eight MVPS, are the others). Cooz, Cowens, and Carr won a combined 10 championships. Cowens and Carr both coached the team, and M.L. was the boss of basketball operations a decade before Danny Ainge built the team that delivered the most recent banner in 2008.

Keep On Truckin'

Shank kicks off the unofficial start to the 2023 Boston Red Sox season like he's at a morgue:

Not much is expected of the Red Sox in 2023, but Truck Day rolls on nonetheless

Truck Day is Friday.

That’s right. Truck Day.

Even with five last-place finishes in 11 seasons and an angry fan base that booed Red Sox ownership/management at the club’s “Winter Weekend” in Springfield, Truck Day goes on. It’s kind of like playing “Sweet Caroline” after the Sox bullpen surrenders nine runs in the top of the eighth inning.

In this spirit, Wally the Green Monster, his sister Tessie, and a bunch of fresh-faced Red Sox ambassadors are expected to be on Van Ness Street around noon Friday, tossing soft baseballs into the “crowd” as a large truck carrying bats, mitts, and rosin bags departs for Fort Myers, Fla.

Tom Brady's Retirement

Thoughts about Tom's second retirement from the Shankster:

This time, we believe him: Tom Brady is done, and the moment is right

Tom Brady has retired.

Again.

This time, for sure.

I know we went through this last year. And then Tom un-retired 40 days after he retired. He came back and played another season, and we know there are still plenty of owners and coaches who would hire Brady to come back from this retirement.

But this time I believe him. That short, stunning Twitter video that interrupted our breakfast Wednesday looked genuine. Sincere. Heartfelt. Tom presented as a gaunt superstar in distress, resolving a midlife crisis that’s been eating at him while he has stopped eating. Tom looked very much like a man who needs to shut it down.

I hope that stays the case; I don't want to go through the Breet Favre routine again.

Unfortunate

That's Shank's opinion on the late hit in last night's game between the Cincinnati Bengals and the Kansas City Chiefs which wound up helping the Chiefs to win, 23-20:

The Bengals’ unfortunate Joseph Ossai pushed himself into a dubious spotlight

And who better to help put Joseph Ossai into a dubious spotlight than Our Man Shank?

Some people see GOATS and think of Tom Brady, Michael Jordan, and Bobby Orr.

I see Goats and think of Bill Buckner, Scott Norwood, Grady Little, Pete Carroll, and now Joseph Ossai.

Let's not forget Shank's attempt at revisionist history when Bill Buckner passed away a few years ago; Shank's praise or denigration of certain Boston athletes depends on the situation.

Super Bowl LVII will feature Patrick Mahomes and the Kansas City Chiefs against the indomitable Philadelphia Eagles, who have shredded everything in their path on the way to Glendale, Ariz.

The Eagles got there with great help from the football gods, who determined that every man playing quarterback for San Francisco would get hurt this year. The Chiefs, meanwhile, were gifted when a humble, 22-year-old kid from Nigeria was flagged for a personal foul when he pushed an already-out-of-bounds Mahomes to the ground in a 20-20 game with eight seconds left in regulation.

Classic dumb play he'll have to live with his entire career - there's your column summary!

DHL Dan CLVI - Steal This Page!

Shank brings up an interesting parallel between Tom Brady's rise in the National Football League and what's happening with San Francisco 49'ers starting rookie quarterback Brock Purdy:

Brock Purdy is taking a page from the Tom Brady story, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while wondering if George Santos would agree to a one-year contract with the Red Sox …

▪ Tom Brady. Brock Purdy.

Their names roll off the tongue in similar fashion.

That was not the interesting parallel; let's get that one out of the way...

Remember how much fun we had watching 24-year-old Brady in the 2001-02 playoffs? Fresh-faced Tom had been fourth string in 2000, but one year later took over after franchise quarterback Drew Bledsoe got hurt. With Brady at the controls, the Patriots won their last nine games, including Super Bowl XXXVI in New Orleans. Young Brady was Super Bowl MVP.

Now you get to watch this all over again. You get to see 23-year-old rookie Purdy take the San Francisco 49ers into a conference championship game Sunday in Philadelphia. Purdy is 8-0 since taking over for Jimmy Garoppolo (remember him?) Dec. 4. Until proven otherwise, he is the new Tom Brady. Absurd, right? There will never be another Brady. We all know that.

In retrospect, those 'new Brady' plans will have to be put on hold until next year.

Wishful Thinking

Do you think Shank's getting just a bit ahead of himself this year?

The way the Bruins and Celtics are going, something very rare could happen in June

There has never been a winter like this winter for our Boston Garden teams.

They play just about every other night. They win just about every other night. We are more than halfway through the Bruins and Celtics 2022-23 regular seasons, and they have the best records in their respective sports.

So we must ask … can both play here in the Finals in June?

Imagine. The NBA Finals and the Stanley Cup Final unfolding simultaneously in the Hockey/Hoop Hub of the Universe. A Bull Gang Bacchanal. The Larry O’Brien Trophy and Lord Stanley’s chalice sitting side by side in the bowels of TD Garden. Past champions Johnny Bucyk and Robert Parish — Chief and Chief — walking hand in hand on Causeway Street. Bobby Orr as Banner Captain one night, Larry Bird handing out the Bill Russell NBA Finals MVP trophy the next.

No city has ever won both winter sports titles in the same spring, but a duck boat doubleheader is possible for Boston in June.

So are our odds of hitting the Powerball jackpot tomorrow night...

DHL Dan CLV - Time For Tom To Retire

I think Shank means it this time:

A plea for Tom Brady to retire for good this time, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while waiting for Brett Maher’s first extra-point attempt against the 49ers Sunday …

▪ Please, Tom Brady.

Just stop.

Enough already.

You’ve proven your point.

You played at the top level till you were 45, just as you pledged all those years ago. You hold all the records and you’ve won everything there is to win. You’re Michael Jordan, Tom Cruise, and Benjamin Button. You gave us so much joy here in New England for all those years and we can never thank you enough.

But here’s hoping you don’t succumb to the hubris and neediness of getting back out there with yet another team next year. There’s no need to try to do this again with Josh and the Raiders. The 49ers and Dolphins are pretty much set, thank you, and we all know you can’t come home again.

A half-century in this biz has taught me that it’s not up to media, or fans, to dictate when a player should retire, and I’m pretty sure you are determined to keep playing, but anyone who truly cares about you would tell you that it’s probably time to stop.

40 Years Running - The Grueling One Mile Run

This theme was a favorite DSW staple in our earlier years, and now we arrive at its fortieth anniversary:

One man’s idea of long-distance running: A mile a day for 40 years

It started as a New Year’s resolution in the Los Angeles Hilton on Jan. 1, 1983. I was there for a Rose Bowl game featuring Michigan and UCLA.

Forty years ago.

After getting out of bed, I jogged a mile on the streets of LA to make my 29-year-old self feel better.

And I never stopped. One mile a day. A four-decade, slow-motion grind that has taken me more than 14,500 miles, across America and back — twice! Practically Gumpish.

For a long while, it was a legitimate streak, almost Ripkenesque. I’d never miss. But I must confess that there have been gaps, especially in the last 10 years. A kidney stone halted the madness in 2012 and a shattered collarbone shelved me in 2015. There are a handful of other misses due to lost luggage, a knockout flu, sinus surgery, and one day when I overslept, rushed to an interview, and just plain forgot.

Read on for a pretty good column. Congrats to Shank on the streak!

DHL Dan CLIV - The Winter Of Discontent

When local sports teams are at their worst, Shank's at his best:

It’s a winter of discontent for Patriots and Red Sox, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while waiting to watch Tom Brady in the playoffs on “Monday Night Football” …

▪ Things could not be much better for our winter teams. The Bruins and Celtics have the best records in their respective sports and we’re clearing June schedules for the Stanley Cup and NBA Finals.

But life is not perfect, and that brings us to the other two franchises in town: the Red Sox and Patriots, who have brought us an aggregate 10 championships in this century.

At this hour, both powerhouse New England institutions are in turmoil, facing crises of ownership, management, money, and roster construction.

It starts with the Red Sox, who are in far worse shape than the Patriots. They’ve finished last in two of the last three seasons, five of the last 11, and will go into 2023 as consensus favorites to land in the basement again. Ownership’s reluctance to pay/retain homegrown All-Stars such as Mookie Betts, Xander Bogaerts, and Andrew Benintendi paired with front office malpractice has left the Local Nine with a hideous everyday lineup and a starting rotation of Question Mark and the Mysterians.

Not Today

Shank feels yesterday's win by the Buffalo Bills over the New England Patriots was inevitable:

The Patriots were not going to beat the inspired Bills, not on this day, as Buffalo honored Damar Hamlin

ORCHARD PARK, N.Y. — We are accustomed to everyone outside of New England rooting against the Patriots, but perhaps never more than on this final day of the 63rd Patriot season.

Bill Belichick’s uneven, oft-dysfunctional 2022 squad put up a good fight in its regular-season finale, and there were still pipe dreams of playoff possibilities as darkness came over Niagara Falls Sunday afternoon. But in the end, the Patriots were vanquished by an inspired and talented group, playing to honor and celebrate teammate Damar Hamlin, who almost died on the football field just six days earlier.

Bills 35, Patriots 23.

The Buffalo Bills simply were not going to lose on this day.

DHL Dan CLIII - A Come Together Moment

To everyone's surprise, the Boston Red Sox signed Rafael Devers to a mega contract:

The Rafael Devers deal coming together was one for the books, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while packing for Buffalo, home of America’s Team …

▪ Signing a homegrown star to an 11-year, $331 million extension is not something a franchise does on the spur of the moment. It’s not something a team does in knee-jerk fashion. It’s not an emotional reaction to the owner of the ball club getting booed two days earlier in his own ballpark. That’s just silly.

But that’s the shorthand, folks. That’s what fans will remember years from now when the pluses and minuses of Rafael Devers’s whopping contract are debated after the Local Nine experiences more duck boat parades and/or last-place finishes.

Fair or unfair, the lasting narrative of the Devers extension is going to be that a minor fan insurrection at Fenway Park Monday motivated the Red Sox to sign their best remaining player.

In The Hunt

With one game to go in the NFL's 2022-2023 season, Shank devotes a column to the playoff fortunes of the New England Patriots:

Sure, the Patriots are in the playoff hunt, but does anyone really think they’re a good team?

This is why the NFL is the perfect sports product.

You can have a team like the Patriots — plagued by poor coaching, inept offense, and unusual dysfunction — and still be in contention for a playoff spot with one week left in the regular season. The Patriots’ status as a contender after 16 games is a tribute to Parity Pete Rozelle, Any Given Sunday, and the illusion of contention.

Remember when the Patriots used to play mostly 'Tomato Can' teams? Those were the days!

The Patriots beat the Dolphins (and their second and third-string quarterbacks), 23-21, Sunday in New England’s final game at Gillette this season. The Patriots raised their record to 8-8 and can qualify for a playoff spot if they win at Buffalo next Sunday.

New England fans certainly can feel good about a defense that forced two more turnovers (27) and scored its seventh touchdown of the season. Mac Jones (20-of-33 passing, 203 yards, 2 touchdowns) came alive late in the game and the much-maligned Matt Patricia made a nifty call on the goal line for the game-clinching touchdown.

But seriously, friends, is there any footie-pajama-wearing Pat Patriot who actually thinks this is a good team? Neither Full Rochie nor judge Richard Berman can make a case for the Pats beating the Bills next week (unless Buffalo has cause to tank), or winning a wild-card game on the road.