Shank's article on the game will be commented on tomorrow.7 still uses Shank for postgame analysis? Good grief. That station needs a reset. pic.twitter.com/Tfhi5kjuKA
— Boston Radio Watch®️ (@bostonradio) May 14, 2023
Sunday, May 14, 2023
Outdated
DHL Dan CLXIX - The Right Side Of History
History is on Celtics’ side in another Game 7, and other thoughtsKind of shoots down the whole 'we got this game!' thingy, doesn't it? In karate, this is known as blocking a punch with your face.
Picked-up pieces while wondering which Jayson Tatum shows up at the Garden Sunday …
▪ Hello Game 7, old friend.
We have Celtics-76ers in a winner-take-all conference semifinal game.
Historically, the Celtics are Mr. Game 7, the way Reggie Jackson is Mr. October, the way Billy Crystal is Mr. Saturday Night. Tatum, Jaylen Brown, and Marcus Smart may know nothing of their forebears, but the fact remains that, historically, the Boston Celtics own Game 7.
The Celtics have played more Game 7s (35) than any other NBA team. Dating back to the days when Bill Russell roamed the parquet, the Celtics are 26-9 in Game 7s. Russell was 10-0 in ultimate games, winning the last game of his 13-year career with a Game 7 championship victory over the Wilt Chamberlain/Elgin Baylor/Jerry West Lakers in the LA Forum in 1969.
Boston’s fabled basketball team didn’t lose its first Game 7 until 1973, when Russell was gone and John Havlicek hurt his shoulder in an epic series with the New York Knicks.
What happened in those great old days has nothing to do with what will happen Sunday against Joel Embiid, but there’s some comfort in a legacy forged by Russell, Sam Jones, and Red Auerbach in ancient days when a smoke was still a smoke (Hoyo de Monterrey for Red) and having home court was a significant advantage in any winner-take-all NBA game.
Oddly, the New Garden has not been our friend this spring. The Bruins (remember them?) and Celtics have gone an aggregate 1-6 in seven playoff games on Causeway Street since the Bruins were first beaten by the Florida Panthers in Round 1 April 19.
Wednesday, May 10, 2023
In Hindsight
In hindsight, Joe Mazzulla did the unthinkable Monday: He agreed with the angry masses.Style points deducted for not mentioning Grady Little there.
There are a lot of eyes on Celtics rookie head coach Joe Mazzulla in this conference semifinal series with the 76ers.
Mazzulla took tremendous heat for not calling a timeout when the Celtics failed to get a shot off in the final 19 seconds of overtime in Sunday’s 1-point loss in Philadelphia. Then he did the unthinkable: He agreed with the angry masses.
“Hindsight’s 20/20,’’ Mazzulla said Monday. “I should have called [a timeout] to help us get a two-for-one or get a couple more possessions. Obviously, with 14 seconds left, down 1, you want to get as many chances as you can. So definitely learned from that.’’
Yikes. Imagine Bill Belichick doing this? Or John McNamara? Imagine Don Zimmer saying, “on second thought, I probably should have started Bill Lee instead of Bobby Sprowl in the fourth game of the Boston Massacre against the Yankees back in 1978.’’
It was an extraordinary admission from a professional head coach.
Also - think about this angle for a moment. Shank bangs out two columns last night over one Celtics loss; from the columns' time stamps he got this one out the door an hour and a half after the first one. What does that tell you about his motivation to write certain columns?
On The Brink
After a stunning loss to the Sixers at home in Game 5, the Celtics are on the brink of becoming an epic failureIf / when that happens, expect no less than four columns about it.
Perhaps the piece de resistance was Jaylen Brown (3 for 8 from the free throw line) going to the line for two free throws — when the Celtics seemed to be rallying — and missing both with 9:16 left and the Celtics trailing by 14.
Beyond weak. And these guys want you to think they are elite?
What have they won?
Ever?
They care about All-NBA and Subway sandwiches and social media love. But while playing for an organization that expects clutch plays and championships, they have done little to indicate they are anything more than posers.
There is still time for the 2022-23 Celtics to redeem themselves. It’s time for the two Jays (Jayson Tatum and Brown) to step up. This is supposed to be their time, but now they are on the threshold of an epic fail.
Monday, May 08, 2023
Their Loss Is His Gain
With the game on the line, why wouldn’t Celtics coach Joe Mazzulla call a timeout?So the coach didn't do something and they lost the game; let the second guessing commence!
PHILADELPHIA — Joe Mazzulla hates timeouts the way I hate mushrooms.
We saw this again Sunday after Boston Strangler James Harden splashed a 24-foot 3-pointer from the right corner with 19 seconds left to give the 76ers a 116-115 lead in overtime of Game 4.
Timeout, right? Call everybody over, draw up the old Picket Fence Play, and let the Sixers get caught watching the paint dry as one of Boston’s mighty Jays hits the game-winner or gets fouled and makes a pair to clinch it.
Nope. That would be the conventional Brad Stevens, Hoosier Way.
Joey M trusts his guys and lets them play it out.
Saturday, May 06, 2023
DHL Dan CLXVIII - I Will Choose A Path That's Clear
Shank, as he's wont to do on occasion, recalls past Boston Celtics glory and laments the length of time between championships:
The Celtics have won only one championship since 1986, but the path to another is clear
PHILADELPHIA — “Picking up the pieces of a sweet shattered (Bruins) dream … ”
With the Boston Celtics, it’s always about history.
Much as New England loves to celebrate the old Celtics dynasty, the fact remains that this franchise has won only one championship since dinosaur Hall of Famers Larry Bird, Robert Parish, Kevin McHale, Dennis Johnson, and Bill Walton roamed the parquet in 1986. That’s one banner in 37 years.
This comes to mind as I sit here in Philadelphia (watching the scalding-hot Red Sox), waiting for Game 4 of the Celtics-76ers conference semifinal series.
The Celtics are better poised to win another flag than at any time since they were the greatest team in the history of the NBA (50-1 at home) in 1986. And their own history won’t leave them alone.
Friday’s 114-102 Game 3 win over the Sixers (MVP Joel Embiid dropped to 1-10 in playoff games vs. Boston) pushed the Green to a 2-1 series lead. The Celtics are 14-7 in series against this franchise — bouts that included Bill Russell vs. Wilt Chamberlain, Bird vs. Julius Erving, and Paul Pierce vs. Allen Iverson.
The Joe Mazzulla Column
Can Celtics coach Joe Mazzulla relax now with a series lead against the 76ers? No chance.Whatever that's supposed to mean...
PHILADELPHIA — The Celtics led almost from wire to wire and beat the Philadelphia 76ers, 114-102, in Game 3 of their conference semifinal Friday at the Wells Fargo Center. Boston leads the series, 2-1, and has a great shot to get back to the Finals and maybe win the franchise’s 18th banner.
“I think we managed the game well,” coach Joe Mazzulla said after the win. " … It’s the playoffs. We’re playing against a great team … every possession is a round. Our only expectation is to be ahead at the end of the game.”
Can the super-serious Celtics rookie coach Joe Mazzulla now relax?
No way.
Mazzulla is tightly wound. He is cut in the mold of Ralph Nader, Colonel Nathan Jessup, and … dare we say … Bill Belichick? Let’s just say he’s unlikely to get a call if NESN needs someone to replace Charlie Moore, the Mad Fisherman.
Wednesday, May 03, 2023
Bitter To The Last Drop
Who's being petty here? You decide!Big win again for Kraft today. He embarrasses Parcells yet again. Canton hall of famer Parcells can’t crack petty pats hall of fame. More stupid than zevon missing rock HOF again.
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) May 3, 2023
Tuesday, May 02, 2023
Having It Both Ways, By Dan Shaughnessy
Embarrassing to be this desperate to please one's bosses. https://t.co/o62W9PQm6B
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) May 2, 2023
Weak response by the Shankster there; either refute the point or say nothing about it. Sometimes silence is golden.Kind of my point, right? But if you’re going to start telling me they’re in last place after a game I’m going to point out there not after 30. Can’t play it both ways. Either we’re talking standings or we’re not. I’d just as soon not.
— Tom Caron (blue checkmark redacted) (@TomCaron) May 2, 2023
Maybe It's You, Shank
What did we do to deserve this? First the Bruins, now the Celtics stunned at TD Garden?Maybe it's due to players reading constantly negative columns in the Boston Globe (and elsewhere)? Seems a plausible a reason as any.
At what point, precisely, did TD Garden become Boston’s House of Blues?
Seriously.
Less than 24 hours after the bottom-seeded Florida Panthers drove a pipe through the greatest regular-season team in NHL history (your Boston Bruins), the heavily-favored Celtics submitted an NBA meltdown of epic proportions and kicked away Game 1 of their conference semifinal, 119-115, against a Philadelphia 76ers team playing without presumed league MVP Joel Embiid.
I mean, what did Boston do to deserve this?
Monday, May 01, 2023
Perspective
As awful as the Bruins loss was, it’s not the worst sports calamity we have enduredIt's a good column, primarily because Shank gets to write about one of his favorite subjects - epic losses by Boston sports teams.
Where do we put this one?
Where does the Bruins’ epic playoff fail rank in the pantheon of local pro sports disappointments?
It’s perhaps in contention for the bronze medal. But this is subjective stuff, and I’m happy to let you be the judge.
I think we can all agree that the old Red Sox forever will be the gold standard when it comes to flops that demoralize the entire region. In this spirit, the Red Sox’ 1986 World Series fold forever will be the capo di tutti capi of Boston sports collapses. After 68 years of near-misses (hello Bucky Dent and Denny Galehouse), the Sox were one strike away from winning the World Series at Shea Stadium, but they dissolved in a 10th inning that famously featured the Steamer’s wild pitch and Mookie Wilson’s Little League grounder between Billy Buck’s wickets.
Friday, April 28, 2023
A Tale Of Two Columns
The Celtics may still win it all, but this loss was about as bad as it getsPretty strong words, eh?
Perhaps as soon as Thursday, Boston fans will be able to look back and laugh. Maybe in six weeks we’ll remember this one as the night the immature, still-without-rings Celtics finally woke up and realized they’re not as good as they think they are. Maybe this will prove to be the epiphany — the moment in which the Celtics finally understood something so simple and so huge.
But this is not that moment. Right now, in real time, this can only be described as one of the greatest gag jobs in Boston sports history. Call it Atlanta’s revenge for 28-3. It was a collapse worthy of the pre-2004 Red Sox. At this moment, the 2023 Celtics are Parquet Posers.
Graced with the presence of the Tomato Can Hawks (41-41), the mighty Celtics — Vegas favorites to win the NBA championship — Tuesday coughed up a 13-point lead (at home!) in the final six minutes of a potential Game 5 clincher and lost to the undermanned Hawks, 119-117. Trae Young’s calm, 30-foot pull-up with 1.8 seconds left stunned the Celtics and NBA America. The unraveling Celtics never got another shot off.
Shank, last night when the Celtics finally buried the Hawks:
The Celtics finished the job and beat the Hawks, so now everybody can relax — until MondayGotta love it - the Boston Globe's 'ace' sports columnist unironically calling the Atlanta Hawks 'widely mocked' while not telling you (or hoping you don't remember) he was one of the ones doing the mocking. This is one of the constant critiques of Shank here and elsewhere once blogging took off back in the early 2000's. And - he's completely shameless, like someone's not gonna figure this out.
Everybody can calm down now. The Celtics have advanced to the second round of the NBA playoffs and will open the conference semifinals Monday on Causeway Street against their time-tested rivals, the Philadelphia 76ers.
This did not come easily. The widely-mocked Hawks beat the Celtics twice in the first round, including a dramatic Game 5 comeback at the Garden.
Celtic Nation was somewhat demoralized by that fourth-quarter fold, but the Green Team rallied Thursday in Atlanta, breaking open a tight game with a 11-0 run, clinching a 128-120 Game 6 victory. Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown, the two Jays who folded late in Game 5, took control of a frenetic clincher — a game that featured 15 ties and 22 lead changes.
“I thought our guys did a great job at the end of just locking in,” said Boston’s rookie coach-under-seige (sic - Ed.), Joe Mazzulla. " . . . Definitely different from Game 5.”
Do you have any doubts as to which sports columnist just might be laying siege (correct spelling) to the current head coach of the Celtics? Yes, that's a rhetorical question.
Monday, April 24, 2023
Tres Hombres
Celtics make it a clean sweep on Boston’s tripleheader road-show SundayThe column's mostly about the Celtics, with only a single Shankism mentioned (The sons of Danny Ainge and Brad Stephens...).
ATLANTA — Sunday sweep.
A Hub hoop-hockey-hardball hat trick.
The Celtics beat the Hawks, 129-121, in Game 4 at State Farm Arena.
The Bruins beat the Florida Panthers, 6-2, in Game 4 at Sunrise, Fla.
And the Red Sox pummeled the Brewers at Milwaukee, 12-5.
I am told this is only the third time in history that the C’s, and B’s both won playoff road games on the same day the Sox won a regular-season roadie, according to Boston Sports Info. That’s three times in the 74 springs the teams have co-existed in Boston. Pretty good.
This could be a great week on Causeway Street. The Celts can eliminate the hungry, young Hawks Tuesday at the Garden and the Spoked-B’s can send the Panthers home for the summer Wednesday. There’ll be closeout sales all around. It’s still early in this playoff spring, but both teams have a golden opportunity to make it to the Finals in June.
Saturday, April 22, 2023
Quiz Time!
The Boston Celtics lost last night to the Atlanta Hawks, 130 - 122.
Which game do you think Shank did a column on? Of course he wrote about the losing team!
While you weren’t watching, Celtics get stunned by Hawks in Game 3, and they deserved to loseHe sounds really shook up about it...
ATLANTA — While most of you were watching the Bruins and national hoop pundits seemed to ignore this series altogether, the forever .500 Hawks (41-41 this year) beat the Celtics, 130-122, Friday in Game 3 of their heretofore ho-hum first-round playoff series.
Begging the question: If a Tree Rollins falls in the NBA forest, and nobody is watching, does it make a sound?
Count this veteran observer as one who did not think the Hawks would win a single game against the mighty Celtics in this early round. The Green led by 32 in Game 1 and by 22 in Game 2 and didn’t trail after the first quarter of either game.
But you know the only saying: an NBA playoff series doesn’t start until the road team wins a game.
Now the Celtics will have to wait until Sunday (or later) for that. And they’ve guaranteed that there will be a Game 5 in Boston Tuesday night. Boo.
Friday, April 21, 2023
DHL Dan CLXVII - No Excuses
No excuses for Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown this time, and other thoughtsWhat's just as ridiculous, probably more so, is this time-honored tactic of Shank's to impose the absolute highest standard for Boston athletes and sports teams (championship or else) time and fucking time again and if that standard is not achieved, the season is a failure and we'll read about it for the next fortnight with numerous withering negative columns. And - last I checked I've never seen either Celtic in a Subway commercial. I had a sub there once, about ten years ago and I've never been back.
ATLANTA — Picked-up pieces while asking Peachtree People if they still remember 28-3 …
▪ It’s time for Boston’s Basketball Jays to step up and win an NBA championship.
The path is clear. The Celtics have more good players than any other NBA team, and a lot of contenders are dealing with playoff injuries. In old Patriot-like fashion, all the worthy opponents are falling down in front of the Celtics.
Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown have lived charmed lives here in Boston. Fans love them unconditionally, forgive all missteps, and honor them with the same reverence they bestow on the likes of Pedro Martinez, David Ortiz, Tom Brady, Rob Gronkowski, Patrice Bergeron, and Brad Marchand. Boston’s twin Jays get the big bucks, shoe deals, and Subway sandwiches. They have local media folks openly campaigning for them for things like MVP and All-NBA.
Anytime the Jays come up short — like last year in the Finals — we are reminded that they are really young.
That is ridiculous.
Thursday, April 20, 2023
Toys In The Attic
Celtics dismantle Hawks again in what is becoming the very definition of toying with your opponentWhile not as obvious as in previous years, you can sense that Shank is setting up expectations that the Celtics can't live up to, so he can take a monster shit on them if / when they lose a series.
Cedric Maxwell, now part of the Celtics’ broadcast team, has plans when the Celts play Games 3 and 4 against the Hawks in Atlanta this weekend.
“Going to visit with my old friend Dominique [Wilkins],” Max said early Tuesday evening. “I’ll probably go to my favorite shoe store, Friedman’s. Oh, and on Saturday I might have to go to the hardware store to buy a broom.’’
Ah yes. In the event of a sweep, one certainly needs a broom.
The Celtics built another big lead (22 points) and beat the Hawks, 119-106, at TD Garden Tuesday in Game 2 of their first-round, ho-hum playoff series. Derrick White scored 26 for the Green and Jayson Tatum was good for 29. Games 3 and 4 are Friday and Sunday at State Farm Arena in Atlanta. If form holds, Boston’s next home game will be Game 1 of the conference semifinals, probably against Joel Embiid and the Philadelphia 76ers.
Rained Out
Two of sport’s best — Eliud Kipchoge and Shohei Ohtani — were in town, but rain fell on their parade
One can make a case that the world’s two greatest athletes were both in Boston Monday, performing less than a half-mile from one another.
But our sloppy spring weather was the ultimate winner. New England’s April remains undefeated.
Kenyan superstar Eliud Kipchoge, the undisputed greatest marathoner of all-time, finished a disappointing sixth in the 127th Boston Marathon, logging the worst time (2:09:23) of his epic career. His countryman Evans Chebet was the winner for the second straight year.
Meanwhile, over at ancient Fenway Park (forever 15 years younger than our Marathon), Shohei Ohtani, the Babe Ruth of the 21st century, pitched two hitless innings and cracked a couple of singles but his mound start was cut short by car-wash rains that repeatedly stalled play in a 5-4 Angels victory over the Red Sox.
Sunday, April 16, 2023
Resistance Is Futile
We’ll resist the temptation to declare this Celtics-Hawks series over, but . . .Lesson learned, then!
The Celtics toyed with the Atlanta Hawks on Saturday, bolting to a 32-point, third-quarter lead, then cruising to a 112-99 victory in Game 1 of their first-round playoff series.
This is where we resist the temptation to declare the series over in a four game sweep.
I was sitting on press row (courtside in the old days!) on Memorial Day in 1985 when the defending world champion Celtics beat the Lakers, 148-114, in Game 1 of the Finals. Scott Wedman came off the bench to make 11 of 11 shots and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar looked about 147 years old. I’m pretty sure I compared Kareem to an over-the-hill Willie Mays flopping around Shea Stadium in the 1973 World Series.
Two weeks later, the Lakers beat the Celtics by 11 points in Game 6 to win the NBA championship in Boston Garden. Kareem was named Finals MVP.
DHL Dan CLXVI - Springtime In Boston
This is the best time of the Boston sports year, and other thoughtsIf that happens, we'll be reading three dozen columns on how bad the 2023 Red Sox are.
Picked-up pieces while reminding ourselves yet again that this truly is the greatest sports town in America …
▪ What was your preference this weekend? Celtics-Hawks in playoff Game 1 Saturday afternoon at the Garden? Sunday afternoon’s celebration of the Boston Strong 2013 World Series champs at Fenway? How about Boston sports’s Magic Monday?
On Monday morning, you can watch Babe Ruth/Shohei Ohtani pitch against the Sox at Fenway (where Babe actually pitched!). After the game, you can walk down to Kenmore Square and watch thousands of runners in the 127th Boston Marathon. Then, you can waltz through the Back Bay and finish your day on Causeway Street, watching the historic 2023 Bruins launch their playoff run against the Florida Panthers.
It’s the best time of our sports year. Let’s just hope the Sox don’t get eliminated before the Celtics or Bruins.
Tuesday, April 11, 2023
The Injured Reserve List
When Jaylen Brown evokes anecdotes about Vaughn Eshelman and Irving Fryar, it is not a good signYou can start right from there, and it's a real good column, until it gets to this point:
The Celtics start their playoff run this week, and we expect them to push past Miami or Atlanta in the first round. Celtic Nation hopes All-Star Jaylen Brown returns after missing the last two games of the regular season after suffering a five-stitch cut on his right hand.
“I was watering my plant and ended up knocking over a glass vase that was next to it,” Brown said Friday. “Picked it up, set it on the ground, realized you probably shouldn’t set glass on the ground. Reached down and picked it back up, and it got me.”
There’s certainly a possibility that this is true. But fact or fiction, Brown’s mysterious cut joins a long list of domestic and recreational mishaps that have sidelined Boston athletes over the years.
Some were more serious than others. Some were barely worth mentioning. But all became part of local sports folklore.
Where do we even start?
In that same decade, Larry Bird showed up with a bruised hand in the middle of the 1985 Eastern Conference final series with the Philadelphia 76ers. Bird claimed the swollen hand was the result of a game injury, but we couldn’t find game footage of any unusual moment, and it turned out that Larry’s busted hand came in a bar altercation with a former Colgate football player.Left out of that tidbit - Shank was the first reporter who disclosed the bar fight angle, after which Bird didn't speak to him for about six months.
Bird didn’t miss any games, and the Celtics advanced to the Finals, but lost to the Lakers in six. The injury may have been costly. Bird shot 52.2 percent during his 1984-85 MVP season, but only 43.5 percent in the nine playoff games after the fight. He missed 17 shots in the elimination loss to the Lakers at the Garden.
DHL Dan CLXV - Bruins Playoff Run Column
What Harry Sinden thinks of these record-setting Bruins, and other thoughts
Picked-up pieces while wondering if the Red Sox are in need of a Chaim-lich maneuver . . .
▪ The Bruins are favorites to win the Stanley Cup. They have four regular-season games remaining and a shot at the NHL’s all-time records for wins and points. They have a chance to go down in history as the greatest NHL team of all time.
Time to check in with Harry Sinden.
Harry is the Bear in Winter, the godfather of the Spoked-B, a man who came to the Bruins in 1961. He was Bruins head coach when 18-year-old, wiffle-haired Bobby Orr first played in Boston in 1966. Together, they won the Cup in 1970.
Harry will turn 91 in September, has been married to Eleanor for 70 years, and is still on the Bruins’ masthead as “Senior Advisor to the Owner and Alternate Governor.” He is the man who drafted Don Sweeney in 1984, and traded for Cam Neely two years later.
Tuesday, April 04, 2023
Now Get Off My Lawn!
Have celebrations in sports gone too far or are they simply a sign of the times?I will swear on a stack of bibles I did not read any of this column before going with my opening comments. The title of the column is all that's required.
Waiting for the Bruins and Celtics to start the playoffs, wondering what the Red Sox will look like when they play good teams, I find myself thinking about sportsmanship, taunting, celebrations, and getting old.
Getting old comes first in this sports story because it colors the way one thinks about sportsmanship, taunting, and celebrations.
This is the sports fans’ circle of life.
Old-timers want things to stay the way they were. There’s a (misguided, no doubt) notion that the games, athletes, and traditions were better and more classy in the old days. Guys who hit homers put their heads down and acknowledged their achievement with a polite, Harvard Club handshake as they crossed home plate. Running backs went across the goal line, then turned and pitched the ball back to the official. Our games had a DiMaggio/Barry Sanders dignity. Heroes “acted like they’d been there before.”Read on for more of the same. I'll make a couple of notes that'll nuke Shank's whole premise and document yet again his hypocrisy on the matter. First - Shank doesn't mind the concept of 'trash talk', as long as it's directed at someone or a team he doesn't like, like the 2015 New York Jets, Arian Foster of the Houston Texans, or even when noted local columnist Jon Keller was defending him for Shank's use of 'trash talk' (i.e., his usual MO of antagonizing fans) with harsh columns.
In 2023, young fans want action, color, noise, and “look at me” chest-thumping. This is sports. It’s supposed to be fun. There’s nothing wrong with a little celebration — even if that means mocking your opponent. And anybody who doesn’t like it is either Clint Eastwood grumbling “Get off my lawn!” or Abe Simpson yelling at clouds (I’d prefer to be Mick Jagger singing “Get Off Of My Cloud,” but that’s never happening).
Second - for anyone who watched the 1980's Boston Celtics, there is no greater trash talker then or now than Larry Bird. Kevin Garnett gives him a good run for his money but let's just focus on Bird for a moment. Does anyone out there think Shank would, for instance, direct this kind of column's critiques toward the Hick from French Lick? Hell would freeze over first.
Third - here's an old gem from the archives, the third and final nail in the proverbial coffin. Shank's also fine with 'trash talk' when it helps him write a column. The salient part:
Further into the column, Shank demonstrates his hypocrisy (We never would have known about it in the genteel good old days.):Some questions are evergreen, and answer themselves.“You could not print all the things we said,’’ said Cedric Maxwell, Ainge’s teammate from the 1980s and a Hall of Fame trash talker. “You could not write it all down. The families. The moms. Didn’t make any difference. We didn’t have to be politically correct. We could be asinine.Does anyone seriously think this (or the 1984) column get written if Larry Bird was the trash talker in question?
“I remember one guy, before the start of a playoff series, saying, ‘No way that bitch is getting 40 points off of me.’ Somebody wrote that down and it actually got in the paper.’’
I know. Because Max said it about Bernard King, and I wrote it down, and it appeared in the Sunday Globe on the day of the first game of the 1984 Eastern Conference semifinals between the Celtics and Knicks. King refused to shake Max’s hand before the game. King didn’t get his 40 until Game 3, but the Celtics won the series.
He might have a point about the obnoxious celebrations (a light show during a Red Sox game is indeed WTF territory) were it not for most of the aforementioned faux lamenting of modern-day trash talk when he's been fine with it for decades.
Saturday, April 01, 2023
DHL Dan CLXIV - Haunted
The Chris Sale contract continues to haunt the Red Sox, and other thoughtsThem's fighting words - there was never a worse signing than Rick Pitino, whose awful reign was the equivalent of burning the Celtics to its foundations, then salting the earth where the dying embers lay. I'm also deducting a style point for Shank not mentioning Curt Schilling's last contract.
Picked-up pieces while waiting for Reese McGuire to make a throw when an Oriole is stealing a base …
▪ At this moment, Chris Sale’s contract extension — inked in the sugar-high spring of 2019 when the Red Sox could have waited to measure his health — is the worst signing in Boston sports history.
It’s worse than deals given to Rusney Castillo or Pablo Sandoval. Worse than Carl Crawford or Matt Young. Way worse than David Price or Daisuke Matsuzaka. Worse than Vin Baker, Pervis Ellison, Antoine Walker, or even Rick Pitino. Worse than Kevin Stevens, Marty Lapointe, or Adalius Thomas.
Sale delivered in his first two seasons in Boston and got the final out of the 2018 World Series. This isn’t about that. This is about the non-yield since the Sox went out of their way to lock him up in that fateful spring.This is also the eight time Shank's mentioned / complained about Sale's contract 'since that fateful spring', a pinata of Shank's which always delivers a few treats whenever he whacks it.
Friday, March 31, 2023
Poisoned By Last Place
Not surprisingly, the Red Sox already are back in last placeShank buried this team quicker than anybody Whitey Bulger buried at Tenean Beach.
The 0-1 Red Sox are in last place.
Which is home for this once-great franchise. The Sox have finished in last place in five of the last 11 seasons — more than any other team in Major League Baseball.
The upstart Orioles beat the Boston wannabes, 10-9, Thursday at frozen Fenway — a train wreck of a baseball game (12 walks, 3 errors, 5 Oriole stolen bases, none of which drew a throw) in a non-tidy 3 hours and 10 minutes.
Ugh. This is not what Theo Epstein was aiming for when he helped create rules that hasten down the wind and speed up the game.
With the Sox trailing, 10-4, in the middle of the eighth inning, the Olde Towne Team came off the field on a freezing March afternoon and the public address system blared “Sweet Caroline.”
So good. So good. So good. The Orioles’ mound wildness and defensive sloppiness made it close in the final two frames, but the Sox were worthy losers, and frozen fans went home unhappy, probably emboldened with false hope.
Celebrate Good Times - Come On!
Regardless of Red Sox expectations, this is a day to celebrate the return of baseballYou don't need the benefit of hindsight to realize that line is world-class bullshit. I mean it helps a lot, but whatever...
For one shining moment, let’s have no snark. No cynicism. No wiseguy remarks about bat-to-ball skills, spin rate, analytic geeks, standing ovations in Springfield, or payroll flexibility.
Let’s celebrate the start of another baseball season. The Red Sox are 0-0 and not yet poisoned by last place or false narratives.
Almost 30 years ago, the Washington Post’s Thomas Boswell — their Gammons — released a book titled, “Why Time Begins on Opening Day.”I wonder if Shank realizes that line from JFK is actually a massive gaffe? The literal meaning of 'Ein Berliner' is 'a donut' / 'one donut'; the proper way for JFK to have conveyed his message in German is 'Ich bin Berliner', or 'I am of Berlin'; i.e., 'I'm one of you.'
It’s a great phrase and reminds us of a long-ago day when baseball was king of New England and Opening Day was a legal excuse to skip school.
Happy New Year, everyone. The Red Sox are readying for their 123rd season opener Thursday (2:10 p.m.) at ancient, beautiful Fenway Park against the Orioles and we are in Full Rochie, Hakuna Matata mode.
For this one day only, we are all Bart Giamatti, Roger Angell, Ken Burns, and Doris Kearns Goodwin.
Ich bin ein citizen of Red Sox Nation.
Saturday, March 25, 2023
DHL Dan CLXIII - Stating The Obvious
Red Sox can’t afford a rough start to this season, and other thoughtsIf and when the Red Sox lose consecutive games, you can be sure Shank will be there with a few columns specifically designed to put them into 'abject irrelevance'.
Picked-up pieces while wondering when Pete Rose becomes commissioner of baseball …
▪ When Chaim Bloom sat for his first spring training interview at Fenway South on Valentine’s Day, the first question was, “Do you think your job is on the line this year?”
Welcome back, Red Sox.
No pressure, Chaim.
The Sox open their 123rd big league season at Fenway Park against the Orioles Thursday afternoon. That night, the first-place Bruins will play the Columbus Blue Jackets at the Garden, while the Celtics will be in Milwaukee for a critical game against the Bucks. The Bruins have a chance to win more games than any other team in NHL history, and the Celtics — who have more good players than any other NBA team — are trying to make it to the Finals for a second consecutive spring.
The Red Sox? They’re trying to avoid a second straight last-place finish and abject irrelevance in the New England sports marketplace.
Saturday, March 18, 2023
DHL Dan CLXII - Cleanup In Aisle 5
Brad Stevens says Celtics have things to ‘clean up’, and other thoughts
Picked-up pieces while remembering a guy bellowing “We love ya, Cooz!” from the Garden’s upper deck 60 years ago Friday …
▪ Brad Stevens sees the same things you see. The Celtics president of basketball operations is ever-careful and diplomatic, but he knows the team isn’t playing great ball the way it was at this time last year. He sees the blown leads, Jayson Tatum’s struggles, the rugged learning curve for Joe Mazzulla, and the reliance on 3-pointers. He knows better than anyone what it’s like to coach today’s fundamentally challenged, social media-driven NBA talents.
The slumping, still-immature Celtics came into the weekend with 12 regular-season games remaining, having dropped 2½ games behind Milwaukee in the quest for the Eastern Conference’s top seed.
“I’m certainly not looking at it as the sky is falling, but we’ve got to clean some things up,” Stevens said after the Celtics’ 2-point win at Minnesota Wednesday. “If you look across the top of the East, we have not played as well out of the break as probably the other top five or six teams. We’re not in the playoffs tomorrow, but we’re not far.”
What's This 'We' Shit, Kemosabe?
We’re feeling left out of the men’s March Madness — and it wasn’t always like thisOnce again, Shank writes a column whose tone is unmistakably provincial and arrogant - it's all about Boston / New England. The kicker is the use of John Calipari's picture to head the column; Shank hates this fucking guy, yet he'll use the picture to help sell the column. I was watching an ESPN '30 for 30' show about John Calipari a few days ago, and at one point it showed a picture of one of Shank's columns bashing Calipari during the end of Calipari's tenure at UMass, otherwise known as the 'run him out of town' phase of the relationship. Utterly shameless.
No white sport coat. No pink carnation. We are Big Dance wallflowers.
It’s March Madness season across the USA, but here in Greater Boston, we’re not involved. We are the ultimate outsiders. We are landline folks in a SmartPhone World.
The NCAA men’s Division 1 basketball tournament is more popular than ever and launches in full fury Thursday and Friday with subregionals in Columbus, Greensboro, Orlando, Sacramento, Des Moines, Albany, Denver, and Birmingham.
Here in the Hub of the Universe, we have no Terriers or Huskies in this fight. Also, no Eagles, Minutemen, Crimson, or Crusaders.
New England is represented. Sort of. On Friday, 15th-seeded Vermont plays Marquette in Columbus, fourth-seeded UConn faces Rick Pitino’s Iona in Albany, and 11th-seeded Providence plays John Calipari’s Kentucky Wildcats in Greensboro.
Sunday, March 12, 2023
The Old Rivlary
The names have changed, but Red Sox and Yankees always carries weightSo much for all that weight, with half of both squads missing from the game...
FORT MYERS, Fla. — Yankees-Red Sox.
Ruth. Gehrig. DiMaggio. Mantle. Jeter. Judge. Williams. Yastrzemski. Rice. Pedro. Manny. Mookie.
What tradition. What folklore. What a galaxy of stars and stories. Fisk vs. Munson. Fenway Park and Yankee Stadium. The greatest rivalry in sports.
And we had none of that at JetBlue Park on a postcard-perfect Sunday afternoon.
We had Allen. Koss. Bauers. Chaparro. Gomez. Costanza. (OK, I made that last one up.)
Quick quiz: Tell me which of those names above are Yankees and which play for the Red Sox?
Nobody knows. But that’s OK. This is spring training. The Sox have 10 players at the World Baseball Classic and sent a whole team to Sarasota for a split squad game Sunday against the Orioles. When you combine that with the cost-cutting exodus of homegrown talent — where have you gone, Xander Bogaerts? Sox Nation turns its lonely eyes to you — you’re not going to have a lot of star power for a mid-March exhibition against a Yankees team that didn’t want to put Aaron Judge, Giancarlo Stanton, Anthony Rizzo, and Gerrit Cole on a 130-minute bus ride from Tampa.
Always An Optimist
Keeping Chaim Bloom’s optimism in perspective, and other thoughts
FORT MYERS, Fla. — Picked-up pieces while waiting for Joe Mazzulla to call timeout …
▪ At Red Sox spring training in 1967, rookie manager Dick Williams — inheriting a 72-90 team that finished ninth — asserted that the Sox would win more games than they lose. They wound up going to the seventh game of the World Series.
Unfortunately, there are no guarantees in Bloomville.
I put the question to beleaguered Sox baseball boss Chaim Bloom on Thursday morning at Fenway South: Can you guarantee that the ‘23 Sox will win more than they lose? Or maybe just promise they won’t finish last again?
“There are no guarantees in this game,” Bloom said. “And especially not in the AL East. So no, I can’t honestly give fans a guarantee. That’s what makes baseball fun. You don’t know what’s going to happen. I think this is going to be a fun team.”
Saturday, March 11, 2023
Coexistence
With Red Sox, hope and realism can exist at the same timeRead on for the modern equivalent of a slap fight.
FORT MYERS, Fla. — On my way back to spring training, I got into a small Twitter dustup with Red Sox mascot Jared Carrabis, a wildly popular baseball fan from Saugus who has turned his Sox love into a business empire.
The likable Carrabis landed a sweet gig with a betting company, has a billion Twitter followers, has his own NESN show, and the Sox love him so much he had his own duck boat station for the last championship parade. He was the official team moderator when fans revolted at Winter Weekend in Springfield.
Jared has been promoting the great “vibes” in (still undefeated!) Red Sox camp, and after Raimel Tapia’s homer in a 7-1 win over the mighty Tigers Monday, he wrote, “We went from the Red Sox are scrambling to put together an outfield to the Red Sox have too many outfielders and not enough spots REAL quick.”
Friday, March 03, 2023
DHL Dan CLXI - Ramming Speed!
Getting baseball up to speed again is reason to rejoice, and other thoughtsGotta say I agree with him 100%. Regular season games are tough to watch when they take three hours to play and we're well aware of how long typical Red Sox / Yankees games (and most playoff games as well) can take. These moves will save baseball's ass in the long run.
Picked-up pieces while brushing my teeth in less than 20 seconds …
▪ We love baseball. But baseball has not loved us back in recent decades.
The game we grew up with became unrecognizable as MLB asked fans to endure interminable stretches of non-action and abject indifference. We had pitchers who would not throw the ball and hitters who would not step into the batter’s box. None of the players seemed aware that they’d brought a once-great game to a standstill.
Now everything has changed. We have a pitch clock, mandating action. To avoid being assessed an automatic ball, pitchers have 20 seconds to throw a pitch (15 if the bases are empty). To avoid an automatic strike, batters need to be in the box, ready to swing, with eight seconds left on the clock. Spring games are being played an average of 26 minutes faster. With more action.
Hallelujah.
Wednesday, March 01, 2023
A Cautionary Tale
What happened in 1971 should be a cautionary tale for this year’s BruinsRunning into one of the five best goaltenders of all time will likely result in bad things happening to your team, and that's part of the 1971 loss to the Canadiens. Also - the rest of the Canadiens' roster wasn't too bad, either!
The 2022-23 Boston Bruins are the best team in hockey, enjoying what might end up being the greatest regular season in the 105-year history of the National Hockey League. They are favorites to win the Stanley Cup.
But more than in any other sport, the best team doesn’t always win in hockey.
Ask the 1970-71 Bruins, or any old-timers who followed that powerhouse all those years ago.
The Bobby Orr Bruins won the Cup in 1970 and ’72, but the best team of that golden era was the ’71 team. The ’71 Bruins won more games, scored more goals, and piled up more points than the Cup teams that bookended them.
And they never made it out of the first round of the playoffs. The mighty Bruins were beaten in seven games by the hated Montreal Canadiens and kid goalie Ken Dryden, who had only six games of NHL experience before the playoffs.
Saturday, February 25, 2023
DHL Dan CLX - Eyes On The Prize
It’s time for Jayson Tatum to focus on the prize that really matters, and other thoughts
Picked-up pieces while hoping my pipes don’t freeze and wondering why I came back from Florida …
▪ Enough with the MVP campaign, birthday parties, signature shoes, Subway sandwiches, and hunger for individual accolades.
It’s time for Jayson Tatum to step up and lead the Celtics to the NBA championship.
Tatum is clearly the most talented player on this Celtics team and is on a path to crack into the franchise’s all-time starting five (Bill Russell, Larry Bird, John Havlicek, Bob Cousy, Paul Pierce, Kevin McHale, Kevin Garnett, Sam Jones, and Dave Cowens are my top nine). He was just named All-Star MVP and has a chance to break Bird’s team record for single-season scoring average (29.9 in 1987-88).
Tatum turns 25 this coming week and is in his sixth season in the league. In Bird’s first six NBA seasons, he won two championships and two MVPs.
Monday, February 20, 2023
Red Sox Q & A Session, Without The A
With John Henry not speaking, all we have are questions and not answersSafe to conclude John Henry no longer considers it 'fun', with recent teams underacheving and a more hostile than normal media.
“If you could afford it, would you own a major league baseball team? I can’t imagine anything more fun … I have nothing to complain about. How could I possibly complain? Everyone in this community loves the Red Sox so much.”
— Red Sox principal owner John Henry, September 2008.
FORT MYERS, Fla. — Has owning the Red Sox stopped being fun?
This is one of the questions I wanted to ask John Henry at Fenway South Monday. Henry was there with his wife, Linda Pizzuti Henry, and Red Sox CEO Sam Kennedy for the annual ownership meeting with players and team support staff.
But he wasn’t taking questions. Not in the conventional way, at least.
From 2002-20, Henry & Co. engaged in a state-of-the-team press conference after their annual pep talk to the team at spring training. The pandemic and lockout interrupted that tradition in 2021 and 2022, but now Henry won’t take questions in a live setting. He prefers email questions, which produce careful, canned answers.
Sunday, February 19, 2023
Nomad
The Red Sox’ resident nomad, Bobby Dalbec, enters a pivotal spring
FORT MYERS, Fla. — Bobby Dalbec.
He’s The Beatles’ real “Nowhere Man.” Sitting in the Red Sox spring training clubhouse. Looking at his collection of fielding mitts. He knows not where he’s going to. He might be making plans for nobody.
Or Worcester. Or a new organization.
Dalbec’s going to be 28 in a few months and it feels like he’s run out of opportunities with the Red Sox. He hit .215 in 117 games last season, whiffing himself out of a spot in Alex Cora’s everyday lineup and earning a ticket to Worcester. In 273 big-league games over three seasons he’s hit 45 homers, batted .232, and struck out in 35 percent of his plate appearances.
He’s been a major league third baseman and first baseman, and now there’s talk of him in the middle infield, outfield, or even (gulp) pitching.
DHL Dan CLIX - Critical Year Ahead
This is a critical year for the Red Sox and Chaim Bloom, and other thoughts
FORT MYERS, Fla. — Picked-up pieces from a correspondent’s 44th spring training …
▪ Wheeling into JetBlue Park at 7:45 a.m. on a balmy Tuesday for my first look at the 2023 Red Sox, the first person I saw was beleaguered, sweaty baseball boss Chaim Bloom doing his morning jog around the training complex.
Trust me when I tell you I never spotted Lou Gorman running around Chain O’ Lakes Park in Winter Haven.
Yabba Dabba Lou was a frequent target of Sox fans and media, but he never got booed by fans at a team promotional event. He never operated the Sox like a small-market team, and never finished last twice in three seasons.
Ditto for Dan Duquette, Theo Epstein, Ben Cherington, and Dave Dombrowski. They took the slings and arrows that come with the Boston Baseball Experience, but none was charged with franchise malpractice.
This 2023 season is critical in many ways for your Boston Red Sox, especially for Bloom.
Wednesday, February 15, 2023
The Chris Sale Column
Chris Sale appears thinner than usual but doesn’t sound concerned about holding upRead on for the details, and a bonus pop culture reference not from the 1970's:
FORT MYERS, Fla. — Chris Sale looks too thin to dominate big league hitters for a full season.
I know, I know … Sale has always been a skinny guy. Ask those hitters who couldn’t see his 100-mile-per-hour heater. Ask them if he’s too thin. Come see us in July when Sale is 10-1 and starting the All-Star Game in Seattle.
Sale threw a bullpen session Wednesday at Fenway South, then spoke with the media on the first day of pitchers-and-catchers workouts. He had the high heat. He has the great positive attitude. He plans on being Alex Cora’s Opening Day starter at Fenway against the Orioles March 30.
But he looks even thinner than usual. Gandhi-like. And though I am neither a doctor nor nutritionist, Sale’s physique makes me wonder whether his hereditary frame — the skinny gene — makes things tougher as he attempts to once again be a stud starter for the Sox.
(Chris Sale, 2010 - 2012) Three seasons, $90 million, and 48⅓ innings.
The whole thing reminds me of a line from “The Town” when Ben Affleck and Jeremy Renner pose as cops and steal millions from a vault at Fenway Park.
“No one’s robbed the Sawx like that since Jack Clark!” one says to the other as they prepare to leave the park with their heist.
Book 'Em, Danno
Opening press conference shows that, for Alex Cora, the book isn’t closed on 2017-18Incorrect - the book isn't closed, for members of the Boston sports media. I'm pretty sure most normal fans don't give a rat's ass anymore.
FORT MYERS, Fla. — It’s never a pleasure cruise when you manage the Boston Red Sox. Hall of Fame-bound Terry Francona said it was the hardest baseball job he ever had, stating, “In Boston, it seemed like you were putting out brush fires every day.”Read on for more media grilling, and not of the good kind.
So how was Alex Cora greeted in his first 2023 picnic-table press conference at Fenway South Tuesday morning?
Hey, Alex. There’s a new book out today that details all your bad habits and cheating ways when you were with the Astros, and how you bragged to your 2018 Red Sox that ‘we stole that [2017] World Series.’ Care to comment?
OK, it wasn’t quite that harsh, but it was certainly not the way Cora wanted to launch the Chaim Bloom Celebration of Payroll Flexibility, which seems to be the theme of the basement-bound ‘23 Towne Team.
The actual first question, posed by WBZ’s Jonny Miller (who interviewed Eddie Kasko in Winter Haven in 1972), was, “Alex, first things first. Have you talked to anybody in the front office about remarks you made to Evan?”
Sunday, February 12, 2023
DHL Dan CLVIII - Super Bowl LVII Coverage
This year’s Super Bowl site brings back Patriots memories, and other thoughtsNah - Shank saves the worst for last!
Picked-up pieces while buying a Super Bowl sheet cake at Stop & Shop …
▪ There have been two Super Bowls played at State Farm Stadium in Glendale, Ariz., the site of Sunday night’s matchup between the Chiefs and Eagles.
The Patriots were in both.
One good.
One bad.
Let’s go in chronological order.
Mixed Feelings
The ship has sailed on sports wagering, but for this bettor, it’s a one-and-done proposition'Largely', of course, includes the time Larry Bird beat his ass in a free throw contest with an injured hand, losing $160 in the process, then laying the tab on the Boston Globe for 'unreimbursed employee business expenses'.
I caved.
I’ve raged against the betting machine for decades. I supported Bart Giamatti when he banned Pete Rose for betting on games in the 1980s. I believe betting corrupts sports. It makes normally sane folks spit on referees and umpires. Betting has never aligned with my love of the games we watch.
I feel badly for those who have a gambling addiction, but in five decades as a sports scribe, I have largely steered clear of the betting underworld. No bookies, no cry.
Today sports gambling is mainstream. And state-sanctioned. It’s almost everywhere. Baseball commissioner Rob Manfred — who runs a sport that once banished Mickey Mantle and Willie Mays for merely shaking hands as casino greeters — loves gambling more than I love ice cream. Roger Goodell — who runs a sport that once suspended Paul Hornung and Alex Karras for a season for betting on games in the early 1960s — loves gambling more than Dan Shaughnessy loves chocolate chip.It actually does get better from there, but in the end Shank's not a fan.
Sunday, February 05, 2023
DHL Dan CLVII - The Hunt For Number Eighteen
Three Celtics champs — Bob Cousy, Dave Cowens, and M.L. Carr — weigh in on the chances for Banner 18, and other thoughts
Picked-up pieces while monitoring the southbound Red Sox equipment truck with my GPS tracking device …
▪ The Celtics have played almost two-thirds of their regular season, have the best record in the NBA, and are consensus favorites to win the NBA championship. We just saw them beat Brooklyn by 43 points, and they have a “big” game with Joel Embiid and the 76ers Wednesday on Causeway Street.
What do members of the Celtic family see when they watch this team run toward a possible record-breaking 18th banner?
Paul Pierce was here last weekend for Celtics-Lakers (LeBron James just finished crying about not getting a call at the end of regulation) and casually told our Gary Washburn that Jayson Tatum “could be the greatest Celtic to ever play.”
Whoa.
Get back, Loretta.
With this in mind, we rounded up Bob Cousy, Dave Cowens, and M.L. Carr to discuss these Celtics. Cousy and Cowens are two of only four Celtics ever named NBA MVP (Bill Russell and Larry Bird, who combined for eight MVPS, are the others). Cooz, Cowens, and Carr won a combined 10 championships. Cowens and Carr both coached the team, and M.L. was the boss of basketball operations a decade before Danny Ainge built the team that delivered the most recent banner in 2008.
Keep On Truckin'
Not much is expected of the Red Sox in 2023, but Truck Day rolls on nonetheless
Truck Day is Friday.
That’s right. Truck Day.
Even with five last-place finishes in 11 seasons and an angry fan base that booed Red Sox ownership/management at the club’s “Winter Weekend” in Springfield, Truck Day goes on. It’s kind of like playing “Sweet Caroline” after the Sox bullpen surrenders nine runs in the top of the eighth inning.
In this spirit, Wally the Green Monster, his sister Tessie, and a bunch of fresh-faced Red Sox ambassadors are expected to be on Van Ness Street around noon Friday, tossing soft baseballs into the “crowd” as a large truck carrying bats, mitts, and rosin bags departs for Fort Myers, Fla.
Tom Brady's Retirement
This time, we believe him: Tom Brady is done, and the moment is rightI hope that stays the case; I don't want to go through the Breet Favre routine again.
Tom Brady has retired.
Again.
This time, for sure.
I know we went through this last year. And then Tom un-retired 40 days after he retired. He came back and played another season, and we know there are still plenty of owners and coaches who would hire Brady to come back from this retirement.
But this time I believe him. That short, stunning Twitter video that interrupted our breakfast Wednesday looked genuine. Sincere. Heartfelt. Tom presented as a gaunt superstar in distress, resolving a midlife crisis that’s been eating at him while he has stopped eating. Tom looked very much like a man who needs to shut it down.
Monday, January 30, 2023
Unfortunate
The Bengals’ unfortunate Joseph Ossai pushed himself into a dubious spotlightAnd who better to help put Joseph Ossai into a dubious spotlight than Our Man Shank?
Some people see GOATS and think of Tom Brady, Michael Jordan, and Bobby Orr.Let's not forget Shank's attempt at revisionist history when Bill Buckner passed away a few years ago; Shank's praise or denigration of certain Boston athletes depends on the situation.
I see Goats and think of Bill Buckner, Scott Norwood, Grady Little, Pete Carroll, and now Joseph Ossai.
Super Bowl LVII will feature Patrick Mahomes and the Kansas City Chiefs against the indomitable Philadelphia Eagles, who have shredded everything in their path on the way to Glendale, Ariz.Classic dumb play he'll have to live with his entire career - there's your column summary!
The Eagles got there with great help from the football gods, who determined that every man playing quarterback for San Francisco would get hurt this year. The Chiefs, meanwhile, were gifted when a humble, 22-year-old kid from Nigeria was flagged for a personal foul when he pushed an already-out-of-bounds Mahomes to the ground in a 20-20 game with eight seconds left in regulation.
DHL Dan CLVI - Steal This Page!
Brock Purdy is taking a page from the Tom Brady story, and other thoughtsThat was not the interesting parallel; let's get that one out of the way...
Picked-up pieces while wondering if George Santos would agree to a one-year contract with the Red Sox …
▪ Tom Brady. Brock Purdy.
Their names roll off the tongue in similar fashion.
Remember how much fun we had watching 24-year-old Brady in the 2001-02 playoffs? Fresh-faced Tom had been fourth string in 2000, but one year later took over after franchise quarterback Drew Bledsoe got hurt. With Brady at the controls, the Patriots won their last nine games, including Super Bowl XXXVI in New Orleans. Young Brady was Super Bowl MVP.In retrospect, those 'new Brady' plans will have to be put on hold until next year.
Now you get to watch this all over again. You get to see 23-year-old rookie Purdy take the San Francisco 49ers into a conference championship game Sunday in Philadelphia. Purdy is 8-0 since taking over for Jimmy Garoppolo (remember him?) Dec. 4. Until proven otherwise, he is the new Tom Brady. Absurd, right? There will never be another Brady. We all know that.
Wishful Thinking
The way the Bruins and Celtics are going, something very rare could happen in JuneSo are our odds of hitting the Powerball jackpot tomorrow night...
There has never been a winter like this winter for our Boston Garden teams.
They play just about every other night. They win just about every other night. We are more than halfway through the Bruins and Celtics 2022-23 regular seasons, and they have the best records in their respective sports.
So we must ask … can both play here in the Finals in June?
Imagine. The NBA Finals and the Stanley Cup Final unfolding simultaneously in the Hockey/Hoop Hub of the Universe. A Bull Gang Bacchanal. The Larry O’Brien Trophy and Lord Stanley’s chalice sitting side by side in the bowels of TD Garden. Past champions Johnny Bucyk and Robert Parish — Chief and Chief — walking hand in hand on Causeway Street. Bobby Orr as Banner Captain one night, Larry Bird handing out the Bill Russell NBA Finals MVP trophy the next.
No city has ever won both winter sports titles in the same spring, but a duck boat doubleheader is possible for Boston in June.
Tuesday, January 24, 2023
DHL Dan CLV - Time For Tom To Retire
A plea for Tom Brady to retire for good this time, and other thoughts
Picked-up pieces while waiting for Brett Maher’s first extra-point attempt against the 49ers Sunday …
▪ Please, Tom Brady.
Just stop.
Enough already.
You’ve proven your point.
You played at the top level till you were 45, just as you pledged all those years ago. You hold all the records and you’ve won everything there is to win. You’re Michael Jordan, Tom Cruise, and Benjamin Button. You gave us so much joy here in New England for all those years and we can never thank you enough.
But here’s hoping you don’t succumb to the hubris and neediness of getting back out there with yet another team next year. There’s no need to try to do this again with Josh and the Raiders. The 49ers and Dolphins are pretty much set, thank you, and we all know you can’t come home again.
A half-century in this biz has taught me that it’s not up to media, or fans, to dictate when a player should retire, and I’m pretty sure you are determined to keep playing, but anyone who truly cares about you would tell you that it’s probably time to stop.
Thursday, January 19, 2023
40 Years Running - The Grueling One Mile Run
One man’s idea of long-distance running: A mile a day for 40 yearsRead on for a pretty good column. Congrats to Shank on the streak!
It started as a New Year’s resolution in the Los Angeles Hilton on Jan. 1, 1983. I was there for a Rose Bowl game featuring Michigan and UCLA.
Forty years ago.
After getting out of bed, I jogged a mile on the streets of LA to make my 29-year-old self feel better.
And I never stopped. One mile a day. A four-decade, slow-motion grind that has taken me more than 14,500 miles, across America and back — twice! Practically Gumpish.
For a long while, it was a legitimate streak, almost Ripkenesque. I’d never miss. But I must confess that there have been gaps, especially in the last 10 years. A kidney stone halted the madness in 2012 and a shattered collarbone shelved me in 2015. There are a handful of other misses due to lost luggage, a knockout flu, sinus surgery, and one day when I overslept, rushed to an interview, and just plain forgot.
Monday, January 16, 2023
DHL Dan CLIV - The Winter Of Discontent
It’s a winter of discontent for Patriots and Red Sox, and other thoughts
Picked-up pieces while waiting to watch Tom Brady in the playoffs on “Monday Night Football” …
▪ Things could not be much better for our winter teams. The Bruins and Celtics have the best records in their respective sports and we’re clearing June schedules for the Stanley Cup and NBA Finals.
But life is not perfect, and that brings us to the other two franchises in town: the Red Sox and Patriots, who have brought us an aggregate 10 championships in this century.
At this hour, both powerhouse New England institutions are in turmoil, facing crises of ownership, management, money, and roster construction.
It starts with the Red Sox, who are in far worse shape than the Patriots. They’ve finished last in two of the last three seasons, five of the last 11, and will go into 2023 as consensus favorites to land in the basement again. Ownership’s reluctance to pay/retain homegrown All-Stars such as Mookie Betts, Xander Bogaerts, and Andrew Benintendi paired with front office malpractice has left the Local Nine with a hideous everyday lineup and a starting rotation of Question Mark and the Mysterians.
Monday, January 09, 2023
Not Today
The Patriots were not going to beat the inspired Bills, not on this day, as Buffalo honored Damar Hamlin
ORCHARD PARK, N.Y. — We are accustomed to everyone outside of New England rooting against the Patriots, but perhaps never more than on this final day of the 63rd Patriot season.
Bill Belichick’s uneven, oft-dysfunctional 2022 squad put up a good fight in its regular-season finale, and there were still pipe dreams of playoff possibilities as darkness came over Niagara Falls Sunday afternoon. But in the end, the Patriots were vanquished by an inspired and talented group, playing to honor and celebrate teammate Damar Hamlin, who almost died on the football field just six days earlier.
Bills 35, Patriots 23.
The Buffalo Bills simply were not going to lose on this day.
Saturday, January 07, 2023
DHL Dan CLIII - A Come Together Moment
The Rafael Devers deal coming together was one for the books, and other thoughts
Picked-up pieces while packing for Buffalo, home of America’s Team …
▪ Signing a homegrown star to an 11-year, $331 million extension is not something a franchise does on the spur of the moment. It’s not something a team does in knee-jerk fashion. It’s not an emotional reaction to the owner of the ball club getting booed two days earlier in his own ballpark. That’s just silly.
But that’s the shorthand, folks. That’s what fans will remember years from now when the pluses and minuses of Rafael Devers’s whopping contract are debated after the Local Nine experiences more duck boat parades and/or last-place finishes.
Fair or unfair, the lasting narrative of the Devers extension is going to be that a minor fan insurrection at Fenway Park Monday motivated the Red Sox to sign their best remaining player.
Thursday, January 05, 2023
In The Hunt
Sure, the Patriots are in the playoff hunt, but does anyone really think they’re a good team?Remember when the Patriots used to play mostly 'Tomato Can' teams? Those were the days!
This is why the NFL is the perfect sports product.
You can have a team like the Patriots — plagued by poor coaching, inept offense, and unusual dysfunction — and still be in contention for a playoff spot with one week left in the regular season. The Patriots’ status as a contender after 16 games is a tribute to Parity Pete Rozelle, Any Given Sunday, and the illusion of contention.
The Patriots beat the Dolphins (and their second and third-string quarterbacks), 23-21, Sunday in New England’s final game at Gillette this season. The Patriots raised their record to 8-8 and can qualify for a playoff spot if they win at Buffalo next Sunday.
New England fans certainly can feel good about a defense that forced two more turnovers (27) and scored its seventh touchdown of the season. Mac Jones (20-of-33 passing, 203 yards, 2 touchdowns) came alive late in the game and the much-maligned Matt Patricia made a nifty call on the goal line for the game-clinching touchdown.
But seriously, friends, is there any footie-pajama-wearing Pat Patriot who actually thinks this is a good team? Neither Full Rochie nor judge Richard Berman can make a case for the Pats beating the Bills next week (unless Buffalo has cause to tank), or winning a wild-card game on the road.
Friday, December 30, 2022
DHL Dan CLII - Picking Up Where Others Have Left Off
Mac Jones’s reputation has been taking a hit, and other thoughtsThe rest of the column is the usual grab bag of stuff, most of it decent to good.
Picked-up pieces while wishing I saw Pelé just once …
▪ What’s up with the Patriots and Mac Jones?
As the Patriots prepare for their penultimate regular-season game vs. the Dolphins at Gillette Sunday, there’s nonstop negative narrative regarding their second-year quarterback.
Mac has regressed in his second season and is one of the worst quarterbacks in the NFL.
He actually has been bad since the first eight games of his rookie season. That’s a year and a half of bad.
He has been caught on national TV yelling at his coaches and teammates during games.
He couldn’t slow down Chandler Jones on the clown-show final play of the loss to the Raiders.
He presents as insubordinate and defiant of his coach. When Bill Belichick said, “We couldn’t throw it that far,” regarding a possible Hail Mary attempt at the end of the Raiders game, Jones came back a day later and said he could have reached the end zone. ”I know my number,” he said.
Saturday, December 24, 2022
DHL Dan CLI - Placing Blame
Don’t blame Chaim Bloom. It’s ownership that did this to the Red Sox, and other thoughts
Picked-up pieces while playing Mitch Miller Christmas carols . . .
▪ Chaim Bloom is having a horrible offseason, but he’s not the sole reason the Red Sox are bad.
It’s not Chaim. It’s not Alex Cora or Alex Verdugo. It’s not Joe Castiglione, Wally The Green Monster, or his sister, Tessie.
It’s ownership. It’s John Henry, Tom Werner, and whoever else is directing baseball ops to seek value over winning. Mookie and Xander are gone with virtually nothing in exchange, and the last Sox star — Rafael Devers — has a foot out the door. Fangraphs reports that the Red Sox — ever a top-five spending team — have dropped to 12th in cash payroll.
What is happening to the Red Sox is a direct result of ownership decisions made late in the 2019 season, after Dave Dombrowski was fired. That’s when they decided to put the bottom line above winning. And that’s why the Red Sox — while charging the highest ticket prices in baseball — have only one healthy star left on a team that will be a consensus favorite to finish last for the third time in four seasons.
Monday, December 19, 2022
DHL Dan CL - Charlie At The NCAA
Good luck, Charlie Baker, you’ve got your work cut out at the NCAA, and other thoughtsAs far as them being effective or even innovative managers, I don't see it in either guy. Guys like Goddell and Baker are simply yes-men, have zero history at turning companies / organizations around and nothing of note will happen with Baker heading the NCAA.
Picked-up pieces from a week on the dusty trail in Arizona . . .
▪ Massachusetts governor Charlie Baker Thursday was named the new president of the NCAA.
Sheesh. The man who looks like Roger Goodell is now going to try to fix something far more broken than any professional sports league.
Good luck, Charlie. Big-time college sports is a cesspool. The NCAA makes the MBTA look like a well-oiled machine.Just what the 2024 field needs - Massachusetts' answer to Jeb Bush in 2016.
When Baker, who could have been governor for life (wrong! - ed.), announced he was stepping down after two terms, I assumed he was preparing to run for president of the United States.
No. He’s now president of the NCAA, which could be more challenging than sitting in the Oval Office.How unlikely is Charlie Baker to succeed here?
Baker’s now got to deal with the billion-dollar, blatantly professional, borderline criminal greed of big-time college sports while at the same time trying to serve worthy, Division 3 programs with true amateurs playing for the love of the game. It’s like overseeing Brookline Booksmith and Amazon Prime simultaneously.
Good luck, Charlie. Your first day on the job is March 1. By Easter you’ll be longing for those golden days of trying to fix the Orange Line.
Tuesday, December 13, 2022
She Ain't Exactly Pretty (She Ain't Exactly Small)
It wasn’t the prettiest football in a place filled with Patriots lore, but Mac Jones and Co. remain in the playoff chaseWhat Shank means by Mac Jones 'yelling at his own people' are the two clusterfucks 'running' the offense - Matt Patricia and Joe Judge (AKA Beavis & Butthead):
GLENDALE, Az. — It was injury-plagued, mistake-filled, and sometimes downright unwatchable. But in the end, it was a beautiful thing for New England football fans as the ragged Patriots scored 20 unanswered points in a 27-13 victory over the 4-9 Arizona Cardinals on “Monday Night Football.”
Bill Belichick and Co. are 7-6. Postseason hopes live.
“We did some things better, but we’ve still got a long ways to go,” said Belichick. “It takes everybody, and I thought we kind of had that tonight . . . It’s always good to win. That’s what we practice for.”
Mac Jones (24 for 35, 235 yards, 0 TDs, 1 INT) did little to remind anyone of Tom Brady — and he’s still yelling at his own people — but his performance was good enough to keep playoff hopes alive in this tractor-pull season. The Pats have been able to beat bad teams and the Cardinals (losers of five of their last six) certainly qualify. Making things easier for New England, Arizona’s star quarterback, Kyler Murray, suffered a non-contact injury on the third play of the game and never returned.
Joe Judge & Matt Patricia are LOSTpic.twitter.com/hYY2hVs6yP
— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) December 13, 2022
DHL Dan CXLIX - Swing And A Miss On Bogaerts
Xander Bogaerts leaving is the latest blow to an enraged Red Sox Nation, and other thoughtsNot if it's going to be a contract lasting over a decade, which ought to be understandable. Three other teams are supposed to have been ready with similar bids but a 10+ year contract for a guy who's 30 isn't very logical. Let the other teams chase and likely overspend.
TUCSON — Picked-up pieces while contemplating an Opening Day lineup of Yoshida, Hernandez, Devers, Story, Verdugo, Casas, Hosmer, Arroyo, and Wong.
Yuck.
▪ A lot of you went to bed Wednesday night feeling better about the Red Sox. They’d picked up a legit closer in Kenley Jansen and spent some real money to acquire outfielder Masataka Yoshida from Japan. There was even word from the Winter Meetings of new contract talks with Xander Bogaerts.
Then, while you were sleeping, it was reported that Bogaerts agreed to an 11-year, $280 million deal with the Padres.
An abused and enraged Red Sox Nation awoke to soul-crushing news of another cornerstone player gone with little coming in return. The notion that ownership cares more about money than winning was reinforced.
The Red Sox can afford to keep their best players. They just won’t do it anymore.
Monday, December 05, 2022
Dancing On A Grave
Schilling got 71.1 % of writers votes in his 9th yr of eligibility. He reacted by demanding to be removed from ballot, stating, "I'll defer to the veterans committee and men whose opinions actually matter.'' Today he got 43.7 % of their vote.
— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) December 5, 2022
Sunday, December 04, 2022
DHL Dan CXLVXIII - Last At-Bat For Curt Schilling
Sunday is the judgment day Curt Schilling wanted, and other thoughtsWe'll see how much support the others on the ballot receive, including Schilling.
Picked-up pieces while remembering when the Red Sox used the Hot Stove season to announce something better than advertisements on their uniforms …
▪ Curt Schilling could be named a Hall of Famer Sunday night. Same goes for Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds.
Baseball’s 16-person Contemporary Era Committee convenes at the Winter Meetings in San Diego Sunday, and just after 8 p.m., white smoke will likely emerge from the conference room, indicating that one or more new Hall of Famers have been chosen from a list of eight candidates who failed to gain election in 10 or 15 tries on the writers’ ballot.
Sheer math ensures that we won’t have a large class from this vote. A candidate needs 12 of the 16 votes to gain admission, and each voter can select no more than three. I’m expecting to see Fred McGriff elected. Schilling is a possibility. The other six men on the ballot are Clemens, Bonds, Rafael Palmeiro, Don Mattingly, Dale Murphy, and Albert Belle.
It’s a potentially explosive night for MLB. This is the first opportunity for Schilling, Bonds, and Clemens to be judged by their peers. Seven Hall of Fame players — Chipper Jones, Greg Maddux, Jack Morris, Frank Thomas, Ryne Sandberg, Lee Smith, and Alan Trammell — are on the committee. Others on the committee are executives Theo Epstein, Paul Beeston, Arte Moreno, Kim Ng, Dave St. Peter, and Ken Williams, plus media reps Steve Hirdt, La Velle Neal, and Susan Slusser.
McGriff has considerable support, including some former teammates who are members of the committee.
Wednesday, November 30, 2022
Shank's Annual Boston Bruins Column
They’re responding to a new coach, have a former MVP on the third line, and plenty of locker room leadership. No wonder the Bruins can’t lose.We'll see how long two things hold up - the Bruins' record and Shank's non-hostile treatment of the team.
The Bruins were already good. Then they changed coaches and got better. Now they are playing the best hockey in the NHL.
How did this happen?
There was a lot of negativity on Causeway Street when Cam Neely and Don Sweeney fired Bruce Cassidy in June. The demanding Cassidy, a fan favorite, had coached 399 games and taken the Bruins to the playoffs in six straight seasons. He came within one game of winning the franchise’s seventh Stanley Cup in 2019.
But Jake DeBrusk didn’t like Cassidy and asked to be traded. Brandon Carlo told The Athletic he felt “beat down” by Cassidy. David Krejci went home to Czechia for the 2021-22 season.
In true millennial fashion, player empowerment trumped player accountability. So Cassidy was fired, Sweeney explaining that the coach’s style “takes its toll.”
“I had a long history with Bruce,” Sweeney said before the Bruins’ 3-1 victory over Tampa Bay Tuesday. “I respect the hell out of him. He’s a fantastic coach. But sometimes you just take the pulse of where your team is at and where you think you can get to, and you make a really tough decision. This was difficult.”
Sunday, November 27, 2022
DHL Dan CXLVXII - Conflict
Jaylen Brown’s actions are in conflict with his words, and other thoughtsI haven't been following this story all that closely but I'm pretty sure about one thing - you can't profess support for one group of people while pissing on another.
Picked-up pieces while watching NESN’s Franchy Cordero highlight reel …
▪ No thanks, Jaylen Brown.
Again Wednesday, you spoke about continuing to “do what I’ve been doing, trying to uplift my community, spreading kindness, spreading love, trying to be the best version of myself, but also help any and everybody around me. That’s what I’ve been since I came into this league and that’s what I’m gonna continue to do.”
Sorry, Jaylen, but I have no interest in reading or hearing your well-intentioned words promoting social justice and spreading love. You’ve had three chances in the last month to denounce antisemitism and in each instance you balked, or chose to support your misguided friends, Kanye West, a.k.a. “Ye,” and Kyrie Irving.
When you were first asked about dumping your affiliation with the hateful Ye’s Donda Sports Agency, you said you planned to stay with the agency because Ye was “dealing with a lot of adversity.” It was only when Adidas dumped Ye that you followed.
Monday, November 21, 2022
Punting On A Good Column
Why didn’t the Jets punt the ball out of bounds instead of to Marcus Jones? Because they are the Jets.Now that's some Pulitzer Prize level writing right there!
In the end, the Jets are going to Jet. And Belichick is going to Belichick. And just when you think you have wasted three hours of your life, the Patriots reward you with one of the most exciting plays in sports; an 84-yard, last-minute, game-winning punt return by a player who is unknown to most New England sports fans.
The Patriots beat the Jets, 10-3, Sunday and Jones won the game.
Not quarterback Mac Jones.
Not ballhawk defensive back Jonathan Jones.
Not Dalton Jones, Sam Jones, K.C. Jones, Popeye Jones, Adam Jones, Tom Jones, nor Me and Mrs. Jones.
Sunday, November 20, 2022
DHL Dan CXLVI - A Cold Hot Stove
Red Sox sure seem to be taking their fans for granted, and other thoughtsHe's got a point - the Red Sox have yet to sign either Xander Bogaerts or Rafael Devers and they don't seem serious about doing so.
Picked-up pieces while hoping to see Fireman Ed at Gillette Sunday …
▪ Do the Red Sox care that they’re largely irrelevant around here at this hour? Is anybody listening to the sounds of silence on Jersey Street? How long will the Sox continue to suggest they are going to do something about their roster while they do nothing? Does the team believe fans will keep filling Fenway (at the top prices in baseball) and buying NESN if it won’t pay market value to keep homegrown stars? Are we in for another long cold winter of “the Sox are in on this guy” while they merely troll the waiver wire for bargains who’ll come here for a one-year contract?
These are things I think about while the Celtics and Bruins go into the weekend with the best records in their sports, and the potentially playoff-bound, always-a-hot-topic Patriots attempt to beat the hated New York Jets for a 14th consecutive time.
Seriously. While acknowledging that the Celtics, Bruins, and Patriots are in season, and the Sox are not, how many times have we been able to safely say that the Red Sox are the least popular team in New England? By a wide margin?