Mountain Out Of A Molehill - III

Shank decided to stir the pot an entire day after the incident happened:

Now that we have that out of the way, let me say that there’s no place for Belichick’s boorish, bullying response to a fair question regarding not taking Tom Brady out at the end of Sunday’s blowout vs. the chippy, dirty Dolphins. Furthermore, it’s fair to ask if maybe the Patriots are being arrogant and reckless in the belief that New England’s 40-year-old quarterback is impervious to injury and the aging issues that impact the rest of humanity.

Belichick was out of bounds when he dismissed the Boston Herald’s Karen Guregian for asking about maybe taking Brady off the field when it was 35-17 with less than five minutes left. Meanwhile, Brady and the Patriots — in their cult-like belief that Tom cannot get hurt — are asking for trouble by continuing to expose Brady to unnecessary assaults. Like the 1972 Dolphins, Father Time is undefeated.

I saw that segment live and didn't think it was an overly harsh response from Belichick; in fact, it's the type of response we've come to expect from Belichick when he thinks a question is excessively stupid.

Shank noted but didn't seem too busted up about an earlier Belichick press conference:

On Friday, Belichick was asked about the performance of Austin Carr, an undrafted rookie who made highlight reels with his impressive catch at training camp Thursday. Sounds like an innocent question, right? Well instead of offering some platitude about how Carr looked good and the team was excited to see what he could do, Belichick totally rejected the premise.

Here was his response, via the Boston Globe’s Ben Volin:

Shank's trying to start a fire in the absence of kindling. It's not going to catch.

Shank On Dave Cowens

Funny that we're now seeing multiple Celtics themed columns in recent weeks; it can't be due to the recent sixteen game winning streak, can it?

Former Celtics center Dave Cowens will be honored by The Sports Museum at “The Tradition” Tuesday night at the New Garden.

Celtics fans of a certain age need no introduction to Dave Cowens. This is for “the others.’’

That would be like the vast majority of his columns over the decades.

If you didn’t live it, if you didn’t see him play, it’s difficult to explain the essence of Cowens the Celtic. But it has always struck me that Cowens might be the most unappreciated superstar in Celtics history.

Stirring The Pot, Are We?

It should be well established fact by now that Tom Brady does not voluntarily come out of a football game, so why do we get this tweet?

35-17. 3:19 left. Brady still in the game.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 26, 2017

Time For A Supid Tweet

Just after the New England Patriots scored their first touchdown, we get this:

Well, that was fun.
We're on to Buffalo

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 26, 2017

Time For A Stupid Debate

Here we go again - the semi-annual 'Which local team is better?' discussion:

Are the Celtics the No. 2 team in town? Have they vaulted over the Red Sox?

This may not sound like a big deal to some of you, but it is. I can’t remember a time when the Red Sox were not first or second in the market.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot in recent days. The argument is relatively meaningless and totally subjective, but lately I’ve found myself wondering if the upstart 2017-18 Celtics are more popular and relevant than the 117-year-old baseball team that just completed back-to-back, first-place, 93-win seasons.

Calm down - it's pretty easy for one team to be the flavor of the day when they've gone on a sixteen game winning streak and the other hasn't played a game for about two months.

DHL Dan LXII - Profiles In Laziness

There's two today - myself for taking two days to note the following: Shank's second mailed-in column this week. Must he that Thanksgiving Week thing!

Picked-up pieces while waiting for another good NFL player to quit his bad team, threaten to retire, then magically show up in Foxborough, born again as a Patriot . . .

■ I am OK with almost any change in sports as long as the Lions continue to be on TV every Thanksgiving.

■ Joe Morgan’s letter to Hall of Fame voters (keep the steroid cheaters out!) is late and too simple. Nothing about this issue gets more clear as time passes.

■ Admit it, Patriot fans. Deep down you wish Bob Kraft had been the one to take on Roger Goodell instead of Jerry Jones. You loved feisty Bob showing up for the Super Bowl in Arizona, demanding apologies, and commissioning “The Wells Report In Context.”

DHL Dan LXI - The Really Awesome Patriots!

Who amongst you out there believes a single word of this?

The Patriots are a team unlike any other team, playing in a league unlike any other league. They have changed the concept of spectator sports for us, extracting the time-tested notion of what might happen on any given Sunday. For Patriots fans, every week is Groundhog Week.

I got out of bed Monday morning to the sound of radio guys talking about how great the Patriots are and how stupid the Raiders were on Sunday. I heard that the Patriots are 17-point favorites against the Miami Dolphins this Sunday at Gillette. I picked up the morning rags and saw where Tom Brady is being compared to Michelangelo. I heard humble Tom deflecting all credit on his contractually obligated weekly radio gig. I heard more radio commentary where hosts submitted an edgy, hot-take poll question forcing Pats fans to make a choice:

1. Are the Patriots awesome?

Or . . .

2. Are the Patriots, like, really awesome?

Covering and writing about the Patriots must have become boring for Shank, so he'll try to fool the rubes with a few phony suck-up columns.

Flaw In The Argument Spotted

When you have to point out that Jay Cutler not playing next week to prove your point, you should reexamine your logic.

Chiefs gonna lose. Cutler appears out for next week. Everything going Pats way again as usual.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 19, 2017

Some followers weren't buying it:

Yeah, the way the Pats lost their number 1 receiver before season started, now Hogan out, one of better d linemen out, special teams cap out. It all just lines up for them. Imagine if they had skill, talent and coaching. Cause only opposing teams have hardship.

— Peter Prodromou(@petepro2) November 19, 2017

Yes because God knows if only the Great Jay Cutler were healthy it would make all the difference

— Greg Temmallo(@MarlboroGMan) November 19, 2017

pic.twitter.com/gVdhseQDpZ

— Jon (@CPJonGoSox) November 19, 2017

What's Old Is New Again

Apparently Shank's weekly appearances on Zo and Bertrand isn't the only place where he reuses recent column themes:

Today on #SeasonTicket: @Dan_Shaughnessy manages to quote both Napoleon Bonaparte and Sun Tzu in describing the mindset of this year's #Patriots team: https://t.co/11iZv0prwy

— WBUR (@WBUR) November 16, 2017

And, of course, Shank doesn't appear to quote Sun Tzu - it's more like the Napoleon Bonaparte quote may have aped a Sun Tzu quote, but that's it. Second - I have trouble believing Shank's read The Art of War or much of anything else.

All Aboard!

The Boston Celtics have won thirteen games in a row. Guess who's now jumping on the bandwagon?

The Celtics in Boston at this hour are more popular than free food. They are the biggest story in the NBA, their TV ratings are off the charts, and we cover them the way Fox News covers Donald Trump, the way CNN covered Barack Obama.

You're not supposed to acknowledge media bias, Shank! Didn't they teach you that at Holy Cross?

Never is heard a discouraging word. Normally skeptical reporters turn to jelly around this team. Everything is awesome. We are all Baghdad Bobs. We are all Tommy Heinsohn.

Je suis Johnny Most.

Impressive command of the French language!

Truth be told, it has me a little off my game.

The scalding Celtics play the world champion Warriors at the Garden Thursday, and New England is agog. The Celtics have won 13 in a row and the Warriors are the greatest team on the planet, perhaps the best ever assembled. Our parquet floor is suddenly the center of the NBA universe. Everything is coming up Green.

I wonder if Shank's ever heard of the 1986 Celtics?

Decades of covering teams in this town have trained me to be cynical.

No, you're just a natural born asshole.

Lord knows we’ve had a lot of championships, but there’s usually some case to be made about questionable coaching, nasty personalities in the locker room, buffoonery in the owner’s box, or a team that is more lucky than good.

And we'll always have Cynical Shank to point all of these negative things out

More Tomato Can Misinformation

Here's Shank yesterday morning:

On today with Zo and Beetle @ZoandBertrand from 11-1. Plenty of Sox in first hour. Plenty of Tomato Can talk, too.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 14, 2017

One commenter blew that one right out of the water:

Too bad AFC East is tied for 2nd in wins per division and is the only division w/ all teams winning at least 4 games and is playing NFC South who is 1st in wins

— Dudley DooRagz (@DudleyDooRagz) November 14, 2017

I'm willing to bet that if you look here from this point forward, to the end of the regular season, this point will be borne out. Remember that Shank first started using the 'tomato can' insult against the other three teams in the AFC East division (Buffalo, Miami and the New York Jets). He's since expanded it to include all NFL teams not named the New England Patriots. I'm not sure if Shank would continue to use the phrase even if you hit him over the head with these numbers (because he hates numbers), but I wouldn't put it past him.

There's also a commenter here that pointed this out - this fact (AFC East win totals being greater than all others) has held for the past ten years (the end year being 2015 or 2016) even if you adjust for removing the Patriots / other top division winner from this total. Unfortunately I can't find that post right now. To some extent, Shank is oblivious to certain facts, especially the numeric ones.

Meeting The Deadline

When you're out in Denver with a deadline to meet, this is how you do it - write the majority of the column beforehand, adding unconfirmed speculation to make it interesting:

DENVER — Pay attention, Patriots fans.

You want Bill Belichick to stick around? I think I have the solution.

Belichick is climbing the ladder of NFL coaching legends. The Patriots’ stunningly easy 41-16 victory over the once-tough Denver Broncos Sunday night was Bill’s 270th career win, tying him with Cowboys legend Tom Landry for third place on the all-time list. The only guys ahead of him are George Halas (324) and Don Shula (347), whom Belichick hates.

...insert a paragraph or two of predictable responses by coach Bill Belichick:

An hour after it was over, I tried and failed to get Bill to talk about the meaning of his new ranking among the elite NFL coaches.

“Look, it’s flattering, but honestly, I don’t think that’s the story tonight,’’ he answered. “The story tonight is the way our team performed. To win games in this league you need great players and I’ve been fortunate to have some great players and a lot of great assistant coaches and great staffs. That’s really what it’s about. The players are the ones that make the plays and they did it tonight.’’

...and voila!

The Shaughnessy Conundrum

Does Shank continue last year's fake Patriots praise and tell you how awesome the team is, or does he fall back on the tried and true 'tomato can' defense?

“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.’’

— Napoleon Bonaparte

Who knew Shank was a history buff?

DENVER — Here we are. Midseason. The Patriots are coming off their bye week, and everything is teed up for another Super Bowl run.

Despite all the stuff that has happened to the Patriots, they have the best record in the AFC (6-2, tied with Pittsburgh, but who ever worries about them?) and the best path to Super Bowl LII in Minneapolis.

Once again, while the Patriots were not playing, everything that could possibly help them is what happened. The Chiefs lost to the Cowboys. The Bills lost to the Jets. The Dolphins lost to the Raiders. The Ravens lost to the Titans. The Texans lost their young star quarterback. Green Bay gave up on tight end Martellus Bennett, who was quickly snapped up by the Patriots.

Amazing.

Little Tomato Cans sitting in a row. They all fall down.

It Begins

As noted many times in the previous weeks, Shank's 'pretend to like the Patriots' act has finally run its course:

Would B nice if we didn't have media celebrating Belichick crapping on media. Scribes R there to represent fans. Same fans who want info, celebrate when Belichick gives media finger. So which is it?

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 8, 2017

There's no 'which is it?' - the fans hate the media, simple as that. Then I look at the comments and confirm this 'theory':

40 years ago Eddie Andelman's Sports Huddle exposed the lie that you guys represent the fans. We probably loathe you more than we loathe fat cat owners & players. You're parasites.

— WalterMcKinleyBetts(@HuckBetts) November 9, 2017

F the media, especially fools like you. Basically all good things are ruined by writers just trying to get clicks. Film, sports, politics, everything. Sadly the media shapes our society with their bias. I’d be fine without the dumb post game questions.

— Mark E. (@markEmarkSJS) November 9, 2017

Agree on some of these points. But was borgesrepresenting the fans when he was crapping all over Bellichickfor years?

— Jeff Metzgar(@JeffMetzgar23) November 8, 2017

So what you’re saying is only media can crap on athletes and coaches, not fair for them to do it back. Gotcha.

— Joey Gloster(@JoeyGloster) November 8, 2017

This Will Be Good For A Few Shank Columns

Due out in a few months - The Two Bills, an ESPN 30 for 30 documentary on NFL coaches Bill Parcells and Bill Belichick:

When Parcells stepped down as Jets coach after the 1999 season, he planned to have Belichick succeed him, but the day after Parcells announced his departure as coach, Belichick surprised the team by promptly announcing his resignation to a shocked media. He went to the Patriots and the rest is history.

“The Two Bills” trailer aired during the “Nature Boy” film and will premiere sometime this winter. With the cooperation of NFL Films, “The Two Bills” includes interviews with Giants legend Harry Carson and Hall of Fame linebacker Lawrence Taylor, who said Belichick should have followed Parcells as Giants head coach.

The documentary brings Parcells and Belichick together in one room for a rare interview. We’ll see how cordial the two Bills are after all of the history between them.

I'm guessing 'next to none'!

There's one question I think we agree ought to be asked - which Bill ordered the disinvite to Shank on that Patriots / Green Bay Packers Super Bowl Party?

What's interesting here is the italicized part above. When the New England Patriots played in their second Super Bowl in 1997, the Patriots threw a party and Shank was not invited. We believe this to be the point where Shank became a lifelong bête noire of the Patriots. If he disliked the Patriots at that point (or, more specifically, owner Robert Kraft), this snub was the proverbial nail in the coffin.

World Series Wrapup

Shank takes the 2017 World Series seven game victory by the Houston Astros to tell the readers of his own favorite World Series matchups. The pictures in the article are nothing more than self-aggrandizement.

This will shock precisely no one reading this, but of the ten he mentions, one involved a Red Sox win (2004) and two others involved Red Sox losses (1975 and 1986).

Stupid Patriots Tweets, By Dan Shaughnessy

As the New England Patriots enjoy their bye week, Shank stirs the pot one or two more times:

QB’s of every Team that’s a threat to Patriots will be out for playoffs. Derek Carr last yr. Rodgers, nowWatson. Like clockwork #tomato cans

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 2, 2017

Watson hurt Bills lose. Another good day for Pats. Stand there and do nothing works every time for New England. #TheyAllFallDown.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 3, 2017

The Patriots have beaten the Texans like rented mules for the past three or four years, but Shank's trying to convince everybody that they're the real deal? What a hack!

The Predictable, Parochial Shaughnessy

Sometimes you read columns by Shank and your only reaction is to shake your head and go on to something far more worthwhile. After LA won Game 6 of the World Series, Shank comes out with a perfectly lame and predictable column:

LOS ANGELES — And so we will have a seventh game.

Could this Fall Classic have ended any other way?

Wonder who will be the World Series’ new “Mr. November”?

The staggered and stunned Los Angeles Dodgers recovered from Game 5 trauma (a 13-12 loss in 10 innings) and beat Justin Verlander, 3-1, Tuesday night to square this 113th World Series at three games apiece. The 101-win Houston Astros and the 104-win Dodgers will meet in the ultimate game Wednesday night at Chavez Ravine.

The ’Stros, a team born the same year Dodger Stadium was built, will be trying to lift hurricane-ravaged Houston with the city’s first World Series championship.

The vaunted Dodgers, hardball royalty for more than a century, are looking for their first championship in 29 years.

And no one has any idea how any of it will turn out.

Once Game 7 was won by the Houston Astros, Shank comes out with this beauty. Did you know the real underlying theme of the series? It's all about New England!

LOS ANGELES — The Houston Astros won their first World Series title with a 5-1, Game 7 victory over the Dodgers at Wednesday night at Dodger Stadium.

The 113th Fall Classic featured a record 25 home runs, two unforgettable extra-inning games, and brought happiness and hope to a city devastated by Hurricane Harvey in August.
Now I am going to tell you how this epic clash was actually all about New England. It was about the Red Sox. It was about the Boston baseball experience.

Let us count the ways:

No, we won't. To me, this is pure unprofessional garbage. That Shank is simply too classless to set his massively oversized ego aside and give the Houston Astros their due is an insult to this reader and a lot of other readers. Unless we're reading just to say 'Yup - typical asshole / provincial Shaughnessy'.