Saturday, September 12, 2015

Shank's Second Attempt At Humor In A Week

Shank just loves working all sides of an issue in order to piss off his readers. A week ago here he is, dead serious:
I think they were doing it. We know all the flaws of the Wells Report and the unfairness and bias the NFL brought to process, but I find it impossible to explain the texts, the noncompliance, lawyering-up, destruction of evidence, suspension of two team employees, Robert Kraft’s acceptance of the whopping punishments, and the Patriots’ history of rule-bending, without concluding that the Patriots were up to something. They had a system. Brady wasn’t necessarily ordering the Code Reds, but the balls were deflated and he was generally aware. That’s my takeaway.
You don't like his opinions? That's okay - he has others! In today's installment of As The Deflated Ball Turns, half-cleverly disguised as humor:
It did not start with Bill Belichick and the 2001 Patriots. No doubt you already knew that. This goes way back. And it’s time we made amends.

Let’s start with some of the most memorable moments.

John Havlicek stealing the ball to clinch the 1965 NBA Eastern Conference finals for the Celtics? Sorry to burst your bubble. Havlicek stealing the ball was not on the level.

Johnny Most knew the dirty deal, but he took the secret to his grave. The Celtics had their backs to the wall on that April Friday night. They were engaged in a vigorous seven-game series with the hated Philadelphia 76ers and it looked like Wilt Chamberlain was finally going to get the better of Bill Russell.

Trailing by a point with five seconds left in Game 7, the 76ers were set to inbound the ball under their own basket after an awful turnover by Russell. Fortunately, Boston had karma and cleverness on its side in the person of Ernie Adams, a young Celtic ball boy from Brookline. During the timeout, after Russell’s turnover, young Adams snuck into the 76ers’ huddle and offered towels and water cups to Chamberlain and guard Hal Greer. Adams saw 76ers coach Dolph Schayes drawing up a play that had Greer inbounding the ball out deep to Chet Walker from underneath the basket. Adams went back to the Celtics’ huddle and relayed the news to Havlicek. Then Havlicek Stole The Ball. The rest is radio history, NBA history.
Points are awarded for creativity, but points are deducted for his mention of the most recent 'controversy, dubbed 'Communicategate', in which the NFL exonerated the Patriots of wrongdoing.

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