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Sunday, March 11, 2012

DHL Dan - XIII

Four days since his last column, Shank has had enough time to watch a few more Red Sox games, thoughtfully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of the current lineup, and give a rational assessment of this year's squad.

Ah, who am I kidding? Shank inflicts another picked up pieces column on us:
...

The Sox still have holes at shortstop, left field, and right field. They have downgraded at closer. They don’t have fourth and fifth starters. New York, Tampa, Texas, Anaheim, and Detroit all got better. The Sox are not better. Anybody else skeptical about the Local Nine? Who will be the first to note that the home opener is on Friday the 13th?
I like how Shank always accentuates the positive...

What's this? Shank turning sour on Adrian Gonzalez? It's like two peas in a pod!
Gonzalez is one sour dude. Almost Nomar-esque. Nobody likes a know-it-all.
Gonzo and Nomar mentioned in the same sentence? Consider it a badge of honor to make it to Shank's Shit ListTM. Remember when Shank had a man crush on Gonzalez? Seems like only yesterday.

Talk too much (Schilling, Manny) and Shank doesn't like you. Don't talk enough (Gonzalez) and Shank doesn't like you. Buy an English Premier League soccer team (Henry) and Shank dumps on you every other column. Is this guy ever happy with anyone?

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

The "Nobody likes a know-it-all" bit is classic. Does he not understand irony?

ObjectiveBruce said...

awfac dimplQuestion of the day:

In which does the public have less interest -- this trite and condescending blog or the Great Shill's failed attempt to go over the media's heads?

Roger Bournival said...

If anyone knows condescending, it's you, jackass.

By the way, I warned you not to post here; you really think I don't have the goods on you?

The only thing saving your ass right now is the March 15th filing deadline. After that...

Anonymous said...

Schilling at least has balls, admitted when he should shut up and left it all on the field.

You little critics have no balls

Roger Bournival said...
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Roger Bournival said...
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ObjectiveBruce said...

Do what you think you must.

Oh, and in case you haven't noticed, the Globe is still around.

So is Shaughnessy.

So much for being undone by bloggers.

Monkeesfan said...

ObjectiveBruce - you act as if the Globe is even relevant anymore - the bloggers have made it IR-relevant.

Monkeesfan said...

Since Shank is a part-time writer, let's look at some of his audio verbiage - on with Zolak without Gresh this AM and they were talking about the Patriots and Tim Tebow - and Shank STILL won't let go of the first quarter of the December game. He WON'T LET GO OF IT. He still thinks the Patriots got crushed in a game they WON 41-23.