Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Turn On A Dime Dan

What a difference a week makes!

Today Shank heralds the signing of John Lackey as a step towards the Red Sox competing with the Yankees next year. A mere five days ago Shank was more or less throwing in the towel on the 2010 season for the Red Sox. Does one signing warrant a 180 degree turn? Only if he can drag us along with him (emphasis mine):

Theo Epstein had us worried last week when he delivered his unfortunate “bridge’’ speech in his Marriott suite in downtown Indianapolis. It sounded like the Sox were going to go cheap while waiting for Jose Iglesias, Ryan Kalish, Casey Kelly, and Ryan Westmoreland.

The backlash was immediate. Sox fans are in no mood to forfeit the 2010 season, standing on the “Lars Anderson’’ Bridge.

Now it looks like you won’t have to wait. Either the Sox suddenly realized that fans won’t settle for a couple of soft seasons, or they’ve been dealing close to the vest. The bottom line is that John Henry apparently plans to stay in the money game and compete with the Yankees.

Lackey (five years, north of $80 million) is a fine start.

Translation = "I was wrong. I got sucked in once again before everything played out in the open. All I had to do last Thursday was shit on Bill Belichick one more time instead of shitting on John Henry and Theo Epstein, and I could have cleanly jumped on the Sox bandwagon again." - Dan Shaughnessy.

And what's a Shank Sox column without a cheap shot at Curt Schilling?

...He’s got attitude (think Schill without the fraud factor)...

I must admit being amused and amazed at Shank's petty vindictiveness at Curt for the past few years, but I can't quite figure out this use of the term 'fraud' that Shank uses to describe Curt. Is this a reference to Curt's last season as a Red Sox?

Throw in a cameo by the trite cliche 'Theo and his minions', and you have a standard Shank column: hop back on the bandwagon, failure to admit mistakes / jumping the gun once again, do the passive / aggressive Kabuki dance with Theo Epstein, and finish it off with a kick to Curt 's balls.


mike_b1 said...

Refresh my memory: Didn't The CHB hail Schilling as the anti-Pedro when the Sox traded for him? Just as the CHB hailed the trade for Pedro (the anti-Clemens) and the trade for Beckett (also the anti-Pedro)? And didn't The CHB later turn on each of these players, typically within a few months? So what's the over/under on his first anti-Lackey column? I say June 6.

As for his missing the Sox' offseason strategy, it's been patently obvious for some time that The CHB has no connections inside Yawkey Way. He is a psychological misfit: he is scorned by his peers and hates others for what he doesn't have himself. And we've known for years that he is a mean, shrill, wimpy little bitch. I always thought it (mostly) was an act.

Now, however, I see I was wrong. The real problem has been staring us in the face all these years, too close for us to see it: The CHB is just plain dumb.

There's so much egg on his face today, it might even cover up all the pock marks.

Monkeesfan said...

I was half-expecting Shank to call up Dale Arnold's radio show and pose as one of those callers from years past who would tick off Arnold by saying "This ownership is going to slash payroll, pocket the money, and then sell the team and get out of town." Watch for the "Randy Moss is the greatest receiver ever" column the next time Moss breaks out of his present slump.