Big Steaming Heap Of Bullshit

There are multiple angles to take with this latest Shank column, so I think I need to give this one an old fashioned Fisking.

HOUSTON — NFL commissioner Roger Goodell was at it again Wednesday. The man is a master of passive aggression and manipulation. If his ginger hair were on fire, he would calmly tell you that he is not warm.

Shank is also a master of passive-aggressive behavior; he's spent the past two years attacking and criticizing the Patriots and Tom Brady on the issue of Deflategate in particular and is now about to change his tune because it suits him, and he has cover from other Boston area media. He has done the same with the Patriots for over two decades, criticizing them at every turn, then pretending to support them whenever they made serious playoff runs. These two sons of bitches ought to be exchanging notes.

Roger Dodger (never heard that one before! - ed.) held his annual Super Bowl media session Wednesday at the Houston Convention Center. We will not bore you with anything Goodell said about the Chargers’ move to Los Angeles, the Raiders’ move to Las Vegas, “Thursday Night Football,” or NFL games in London.

I'm thankful for small favors - let's get ready to rumble!!!

All we care about is Deflategate, and Goodell allowed five Deflategate queries during his 45 minutes at the podium.

Give him credit for taking some bullets. The typical NFL method is to deny the obvious and censor all dissent. In a room with hundreds of hungry reporters, it would have been easy for Goodell to rig the session and make sure he took no questions from New England. He did not do this.

Bear in mind that Shank was quite pleased with this investigation and its eventual outcome, with Shank concluding that Tom Brady and the Patriots are lying cheating bastards as he scolded the entire Patriots Nation.

The Globe’s Ben Volin was first up, and he told the Commish that Bob Kraft (who was sitting in the front row with Jonathan) is still going around telling folks that Goodell got bad Deflategate advice from folks in the league office.

Goodell quickly dismissed that with, “We had a violation. We went through a process. We applied the discipline in accordance with our process. It was litigated, as you know, extensively and validated by the Second Circuit Court of Appeals, so we’re moving on.’’

What Goodell doesn't mention is the transmogrification of this case from an equipment violation to a 'conduct detrimental' matter in order to impose the four game suspension on Brady.

Moving on? Not bloody likely. The Patriots and their fans are not moving on. In this spirit, we went at the Commish with both barrels. We fired all the muskets at once. This was no time for decorum.

Need I remind anybody about Shank's passive-aggressive behavior?

“Tom Brady Sr. was highly critical and personally insulting toward you last week,’’ I reminded the commissioner. “You’ve not been in Foxborough for two years since the Deflategate investigation. Your explanation strains all credibility — that you needed to be in Atlanta two weeks in a row.

“It appears you were avoiding Foxborough. The Patriots are here in this game . . . it feels like there is still a war between the Patriots and their fans and you. How would you characterize the situation, and is it not awkward?”

“I would say that it is not awkward at all for me,’’ started Goodell (nose growing). “We have a job to do. We do our job when there is a violation. We apply the process and discipline and we came to a conclusion that was supported by the courts.

This is simply astounding - Shank used Deflategate to beat the ever loving shit out of the Patriots and Tom Brady for two years, and this line of questioning was conspicuously absent from the many, many colums he devoted to the subject. I'll call it breathtaking hypocrisy; pure fucking theater.

“So from our standpoint, we understand that fans who are loyal and passionate for a team object and don’t like the outcome. I totally understand that. And I was in Boston two seasons ago for two consecutive playoff games, the same way I was in Atlanta this year. That happens.

“So from our standpoint, this is just about making sure we take care of business and do it in a way that is right and upholding the integrity of all of our teams and our rules for all 32 teams.”

“So you’re not avoiding Foxborough?’’ I yelled. “You would come back there, if they win, for the flag raising?”

“If I’m invited back to Foxborough, I’ll come,’’ he answered.

How many of you are buying that?

Intrepid Bert Breer of MMQB tried to clarify that comment a few minutes later and asked, “To the best of your knowledge, over the last month have you been welcome in Foxborough . . . by the team?”

“I have no doubt that if I wanted to come up to a Patriots game and I asked Mr. Kraft, he would welcome me back,’’ said Goodell. “That’s up to him, though.’’

Breer followed up by asking Goodell how his relationship with the team has changed over the last two years.

“Listen, we had a disagreement about what occurred,’’ said Goodell, sounding a little sick of the topic. “We have been very transparent about what we think the violation was. We went through a lengthy process.

Being sick of the topic seems like the right response when your position is untenable or the matter just comes up too many times for your liking. Maybe it's a variant of the old saw - 'Have you stopped beating your wife?'

“We disagree about that, but I continue to respect and admire Robert, Jonathan, the entire organization. They are an extraordinary organization and they are extraordinary people in my view, so I have a very deep and close relationship to them.

“I’m not afraid of disagreement. I don’t think disagreement leads to distrust or hatred. It’s a disagreement . . . That’s what it is. It’s not personal hatred, which I know people like to make it, but for us it’s about making sure we do what’s right for the league, long-term.’’

When Kelly Sullivan of WPRI in Providence asked Goodell if he’d talked to Brady this year, the commissioner said he does not disclose conversations he may or may not have had with players.

I'll go with 'No, I did not talk with Tom Brady...'

Now, with more explosions!

Tom Curran of CSNNE fired this salvo: “From the players in the league, to fan bases in San Diego, St. Louis, New England, there seems to be an erosion of public trust in you and your office. Do you acknowledge that, and is there any way that you would go about repairing that if you would even seek to do so?’’

This produced a tower of Goodellspeak.

“The thing you have to always do, every day, is earn that trust, earn that credibility by how you act and how you do things,” he said. “Be transparent and make sure people understand the decisions you make.’’

There were many more words, but no true meaning.

The commissioner is not transparent. Fans do not understand the decisions he’s made.

And despite what Roger Dodger says, this is really awkward.

You might call it a big bowl of awkward, to borrow a phrase from the Shankster.

Resurrection

Shank, showing no interest whatsoever at writing about the Celtics or the Bruins (other than the occasional tweet about shitcanning Claude Julien), decides to bring up Deflategate in an offhand way in order to point out another NFL 'controversy' that received decidedly unequal treatment.

HOUSTON — One of this year’s Super Bowl participants got caught cheating a couple of years ago. They were investigated by the NFL, found guilty, and punished with a whopping fine and loss of a 2016 draft pick. A team leader was ordered to serve a suspension.

Say hello to your cheatin’ Atlanta Falcons. Say hello to Noisegate — the scandal that went away quickly and quietly.

During the 2013 and 2014 NFL seasons, a Falcons marketing executive artificially pumped up crowd noise at the Georgia Dome when Falcons opponents were calling signals. The NFL got wind of it, investigated, and acted quickly. Atlanta was fined $350,000, lost a fifth-round draft pick, and team president Rich McKay was suspended from the league’s competition committee for three months.

Nothing like dredging up a past Patriots controversy in order to take yet another shot at the Patriots organization. You know, Shank could be held in better regard with local sports teams if he wasn't such a negative asshole who insisted on bringing up the past time and time again. Shank can forget about being invited to a team breakfast, just as it was during the Patriots 2nd Super Bowl appearance - take it away, Andrew!

@Dan_Shaughnessy Someone is still bitter that they weren't invited to a breakfast twenty years ago.

— andrew (@adev808) January 8, 2017

Only 12th?

I was cruising around this afternoon and stumbled across this story by Matt Keller that ranks the villains in the Deflategate saga, which I find to be dead on:

Boston sports fans are insane. I should know: I have been one my entire life (it’s like being Jewish – we can criticize ourselves). Deflategate turned into a massive rallying point for the entire region, and if you aren’t from New England, you may have a hard time comprehending just how big of a controversy it was. After sides were taken, anyone who came at Brady or the Patriots was turned into an enemy by a rabid fanbase (some of whom happened to work in the media). Twitter battles ensued. And the pro-Patriots media and bloggers, led by people like Jerry Thornton of Barstool Sports (then of WEEI), didn’t hesitate to take each perceived enemy to task for their sins. With Jerry’s input, I compiled a list of the biggest Deflategate villains.

Out of fifteen media villains, Our Man Shank only bags 12th place?

No 12: Dan Shaughnessy (Boston Globe)

Nicknamed Shank in Boston for the way he sticks the knife into his targets’ backs in print (close enough! - ed.) , Shaughnessy has always delighted in ribbing Boston fans with purposely contrarian viewpoints. Deflategate was manna from heaven for the curly-haired columnist.

That's it - I count thirty-six posts on this site that contain the word 'Deflategate', most of those being columns or tweets by Shank.

Special mention goes to the 2nd biggest asshole in the whole saga besides Roger Goodell (#2 under the NFL category):

No 2: Ted Wells

He authored the Wells Report, which was either an incomplete report that may have relied on some faulty assumptions and didn’t offer much in the way of proof (according to most unbiased observers) or an unscrupulous hit job by an NFL stooge that contained too many errors to count and was never meant to be objective (anyone living in New England, especially media members and Patriots employees).

So even if you split the difference here, the most charitable description you can assign to the Wells Report is that of a hatchet job, which Shank once called 'embarrassing' but given that he was burying the Patriots the entire time, it's safe to say he meant 'embarrassing - for the Patriots'. Just to remind people - once again, logic and Shank took different roads.

What's Old Is New Again

The controversy that will never die.

They are like those random Japanese soldiers who combed the jungles of the Philippines and kept fighting World War II years after Japan’s formal surrender in 1945.

They are the Deflategate Truthers and they got some new energy in recent days when Jay Glazer of Fox Sports reported that the Giants sent a couple of suspiciously deflated footballs to the NFL office after losing to the Pittsburgh Steelers Dec. 4 at Heinz Field.

The report was shot down swiftly by the league office with this statement: “The officiating game ball procedures were followed and there were no chain of command issues. All footballs were in compliance and no formal complaint was filed by the Giants with our office.’’

That, naturally, did not cut it with the Deflategate Truthers. The Patriots Media Cartel swung into action and apologies are being demanded once again. Jonathan Kraft took his message to the airwaves on the Patriots’ in-house pregame show Monday night.

Plus, there's this:

The science has never mattered.

It may be a bit different with footballs, but I ride a road bike during the non-winter months, 700 CC rims, 23 cm wide tires in the front and 25 cm in the back. Generally I put 100 PSI in the front tire and 110 PSI in the back. Since I'm an old fuck, I ride every other day. When I get to the next ride, both tires bleed at least 5 PSI over that approximate 48 hour period. Rubber is porous, regardless how it's used, and anyone who has bothered to learn basic physics or atmospherics can tell you air molecules condense when it gets cold. When it comes to science or numbers, Shank is a blithering idiot.

It's Official - Shank's Back On The Pats Bandwagon

After winning three games in a row with multiple starters out of the lineup in each game, why wouldn't you shamelessly start rooting for the Patriots again?

Memo to Patriots fans: Deflategate is your friend. It has given birth to absolute truths that serve only to magnify and solidify that local notion that Bill Belichick and the Patriots are 10 times better and smarter than every other NFL team.

The first-place, 3-0 Patriots will enjoy a well-deserved day of rest Sunday, but a message has been delivered to NFL America. It is not a comforting missive for the 31 franchises that hoped to prosper when NFL commissioner Roger Goodell dropped the hammer on the Team Everyone Loves to Hate. The Patriots are on a mission. They are kicking butt and taking names. The 2016 Patriots are waging war on the rest of the NFL and the commissioner who overly punished them for driving 68 in a 65-mile-per-hour zone.

A decent enough column ensues from here (Nitty Gritty Dirt Band lyrics aside), but I think Shank overstates something towards the end:

This cannot be a great feeling for Brady. Deflategate has established that any Jimmy, Jacoby or Matt can play quarterback for the Patriots and still win. Belichick and the Patriot Way are the big winners.

I don't think you can use a three game span like the most recent one and dismiss the contributions of one of the top quarterbacks in NFL history.

On second thought, since I don't feel like erasing the previous sentence, Shank's not dismissing Brady, he's simply discounting it and attributing the team's success to the team. Seriously, it didn't kill me just now to agree with Shank! Still, I think that point's fairly debatable.

Points awarded to Shank for being consistent on this point (not Deflategate as a whole, where he once called Tom Brady a cheater and gave it its own column):

The Patriots would secede from the NFL if they had anywhere elso to go, but they don’t. They will settle for winning another Super Bowl and rubbing everyone’s face in the dirt. Tom Brady is taking his punishment and it’s Scorched Earth Time here in Hatriot Nation. Our long national nightmare is over.

Back to the original column:

Feel the fire. Embrace the hate. Deflategate is the Patriots’ friend.

Did Shank just channel the Emperor from Star Wars?

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait

Eight days after berating Patriots quarterback Tom Brady for not speaking to the media, Shank finally gets his wish.

Tom Brady speaks!

Stop the presses. Freeze Twitter. Close the New York Stock Exchange for 10 minutes. Interrupt all Trump coverage.

Brady ended his six-month silence Friday morning at Patriots practice when he took eight questions from the local football media for approximately five minutes. It was a shoutdown frenzy, and Tom found

Were you happy with Brady's comments?

No.

We got Patriotspeak. Bradyspeak. Zzzzzzz.

And the home stretch:

So now we know how it’s going to be. No surprise there. Led by quarterback Tom Brady — who has been court-ordered to wear the Scarlet D of Deflategate — the Patriots are going to carry themselves publicly as if none of this over-punishment is happening. And then they are going to scorch the earth of Goodell’s NFL America.

That might be the first time Shank described Brady's four game suspension as over-punishment, but in every single column about Deflategate that he wrote, it is perfectly clear that Shank's quite pleased it happened.

Deflategate Is Over

As expected, the obligatory Shank column:

Let’s acknowledge once again that this was a minor infraction, never proved by the NFL. But the Patriots dug their own grave by behaving like a guilty party from the jump. The Patriots did everything a guilty man does. They failed to produce the equipment guys after damning texts were found. They suspended said employees and refused to talk about them or make them available. They issued their own version of events, the embarrassing “Wells Report In Context,” then summoned media friends from across the land to slaughter Roger Goodell — an easy errand. Brady destroyed his cellphone when he was suppposed to meet with Ted Wells.

But if it gives Shank another chance to shit on Robert Kraft, it's all good.

Tom Brady Takes Four Game Suspension

The news article is here; fully expecting a Shank stemwinder any moment now...

Happy Days Are Here Again! - II

You just knew Shank was going to bang out a column about this...

Bottom line: The Patriots were doing it. They had a system of deflating footballs after the balls were inspected by officials. Any agenda-less person who reads the Wells Report would come away with no other conclusion. The texts were unexplainable.

There is simply no evidence whatsoever to support this paragraph. When the Wells Report needs to state it was 'more likely than not' Tom Brady was involved in the deflating of footballs (as opposed to the higher legal standard of 'beyond a reasonable doubt), it brings, well, reasonable doubt about the whole Wells Report.

Happy Days Are Here Again!

Shank seems quite pleased with the reinstatement of Tom Brady's four game suspension:

Total smackdown of fanboy Berman

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) April 25, 2016

No word yet on a Brady appeal of this ruling.

Incisive Legal Analysis, By Dan Shaughnessy

The Deflategate saga entered a new phase today as a three judge Federal panel in New York City heard arguments from both sides a few hours ago. Naturally, Shank weighs in as only he can:

Do Berman's fellow judges think he is a fanboy? Too early to say, but got to wonder after what went down in court today.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) March 3, 2016

Plenty of Mileage in Pats Payback Meme

There's always a theme, regardless of how contrived it is.

For the Red Sox, it was the Curse of the Bambino. Then it was the Carpetbaggers (when John Henry beat out the local favorites to buy the team.) From there it became the Sons of Bill James, in reference to the use of -- gasp! -- data to aid decision making.

For the Patriots, the latest contrivance is the Patriot Revenge Tour, and the myth The CHB is pushing today is built on the notion that the teams the Patriots are facing/demolishing were all somehow involved in the Deflategate conspiracy.

Of course, this runs completely counter to the Bill Belichickian approach that each game, nay, each series is simply about executing perfectly, no matter the opposition.

Furthermore, it ignores the fact that Shank himself was convinced the Patriots had cheated.

No worries. He'll get plenty of mileage out of this latest made-up motto. Indeed, in pure Shankesque fashion, he already has.

The Curse of a Quick Buck

You had to know it was coming. The CHB now wants everyone to know that those who dare question the Patriots will be met with quick and debilitating misfortune.

It's his favorite literary cliche: The Curse! All the teams that blew the whistle on the Pats over the Deflategate are now 0-2.

It's silly and pointless. Like just The CHB.

Nothing better to write for a Wednesday, I guess.

Shank is 'Steel' Up for Hating the Pats

Around 11:30 p.m. last night the Patriots sealed the win in the opening game to the NFL's 2015-16 season, rising above all the sound and fury from last season's Deflategate debacle with a convincing win over the Steelers.

It took just a few more hours for The CHB to dive back into the mire.

"[G]et ready for another round of accusations from the haters," writes The CHB, following the Patriots' victory.

But who, exactly, are the haters?

Following the game, the Steelers complained about the headsets occasionally not working or getting crossed with other broadcasts. Well, the Patriots acknowledged the headsets weren't working. That's hating?

No, what feels more like hating is when The CHB writes:

"No fan base is more angry or defensive than the proud Patriot Legion ... "

or

"[W]inning is never enough for the Patriots and their fans. They need to grind their enemies into dust."

or

"Nothing has changed for many of us ... the Patriots quarterback was not 'exonerated.' "

or

"Why so many 'experts' (including ESPN) saying the weather could have deflated balls when ESPN says all 12 colt footballs tested ok? 

Who's the real hater?

What A Difference Two Days Makes

Shank, on Thursday:

"Tom Brady wins. Roger Goodell loses. So when does Bob Kraft reverse himself once more and go after the NFL to reclaim the $1 million fine and loss of two draft picks?"
...
There is great glee in Foxborough. It’s another championship day for Brady, Bill Belichick, Bob and Jon Kraft, and The Wells Report In Context. Judge Berman has validated and vindicated Brady, while thoroughly spanking Goodell and the NFL’s punishing process.

Shank, about an hour and a half ago:

Berman (has he been fitted for a Patriots onesie?) only verified what we already knew: Brady was overpunished for his alleged awareness of the alleged scheme. But contrary to instant local mythology, the Patriots quarterback was not “exonerated.’’
...
Mercifully, it feels like it’s over now. Kraft is unlikely to go back on his word and seek to reverse the team punishments, and the US Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit won’t be heard from for a year or two. So let’s all get on with our lives.

Shank = Not Exactly Alan Dershowitz

As my co-blogger notes below, it's always amusing to see Shank do a 180 degree turn on a subject. A mere five weeks ago, Tom Brady was a cheater. With today's column, you do not see the faintest hint of the notion that Tom Brady's a cheater, do you?

"Hey, Tom, sorry about calling you a cheater a while ago. Glad that's all cleared up now. We're good, right?"

Sadder still is Shank's lack of due diligence with respect to the following sentence:

"Tom Brady wins. Roger Goodell loses. So when does Bob Kraft reverse himself once more and go after the NFL to reclaim the $1 million fine and loss of two draft picks?"

It's sad, but not surprising, that Shank has had seven months to examine this situation and still have little to no idea about contract law, legal precedents with respect to the NFL or collective bargaining agreements, all stemming from his laziness or lack of curiosity. I was able to blow through the Berman decision in the better part of an hour and conclude that Berman's decision (last part of p. 18 to about page 39) was based on numerous violations / misapplications of NFL precedence and due process procedures by commissioner Goodell with respect to the existing collective bargaining agreement during the arbitration hearing, which makes Shank's contention about half right. Further of Brady's contentions (the rest of the Scribd link above) were dismissed by Judge Berman.

If he had bothered to read Berman's report, he would realize that Berman did not rule against anything in the Wells Report itself, never opining on the underlying allegations against Brady and thus not providing Kraft any basis for an appeal of the team fine and loss of draft picks. This is just a further demonstration of Shank's laziness.

Intercepted

So back on Jan. 22, when The CHB tweeted this:

do you think it ever crossed his mind that he would someday (as in today) write this:

"Tom Brady wins. Roger Goodell loses. So when does Bob Kraft reverse himself once more and go after the NFL to reclaim the $1 million fine and loss of two draft picks?"

Of course not. Which is why most of us learn by the time we reach grade school not to speak out of turn or lob grenades without knowing what the consequences of doing so might be.

But not The CHB! Reversing himself is what he does best.* Now it's the "blundering NFL" and the "stubborn" NFL commissioner Roger Goodell who are in the wrong.

Perhaps changing your mind is "just part of the editorial process."


*The bartenders at The Four's might disagree.

Deflated Column

As we wait for the Federal court proceedings to work itself out, Shank may have finally come down with Deflategate Fatigue Syndrome.

The symptoms are obvious.

You are tired, edgy, and have bags under your eyes. You scan your monthly National Grid bill looking for language about ideal gas laws. After you have blood drawn for your annual physical, you call the doctor’s office to ask about your PSI levels. You know way too much about the vacation schedules of Gerry Callahan and Michael Felger. You get angry every time Chris Mortensen comes on ESPN. You sleep in a Free Brady T-shirt.

But you don’t sleep much.

You have Deflategate Fatigue Syndrome, a.k.a. DFS.

One of his better efforts recently.

It's On

In a Federal court filing a few hours ago, Tom Brady and the NFLPA sued the NFL, mentioning numerous items conveniently ignored by the 'ace' Boston Globe columnist:

Thumbing its nose at the Peterson order, Commissioner Goodell’s Award upholds Brady’s four-game suspension in its entirety despite the undisputed arbitration record of several egregious notice defects: Brady had no notice of the disciplinary standards that would be applied to him; no notice of the disciplinary policies that would be applied; and no notice of the potential penalties. In fact, the NFL collectively bargained over the punishments (fines, not suspensions) for alleged equipment tampering by players-including those designed to gain a competitive advantage-and was not free to disregard that CBA bargain and subject Brady to other standards, policies, and penalties without any notice at all.

Read the whole thing, and compare & contrast it to the completely one-sided bullshit posted by Shank in his most recent column and in previous Deflategate columns. It would leave no doubt whatsoever that Shank's been grinding an axe on this issue the entire time.

UPDATE, AT 10:50 pm - Is it even worse for the NFL?

Page 5

“10. On May 6, many months and many millions of dollars in legal fees later, Paul, Weiss and the NFL issued the ‘Wells Report’ summarizing the findings from their investigation. The purportedly independent Wells Report was edited by Pash, the NFL’s General Counsel, before its public release “

If I may be granted a moment to second guess (and why the hell not?), a word or two of advice to the 'ace' Boston Globe columnist. While this DSW blogger may not have done a ton of research into this matter, it's bloody obvious that neither did you, Shank. You might have tried considering the merits of both parties involved before running your mouth once again, producing another anti-Patriots screed in order to perhaps avenge that disinvitation to the 1995 Super Bowl party, this research being something someone of your 'stature' in the local journalism community is expected to do and not further contribute to the decline in quality in your sports section and your newspaper in general.

Shank's Second Victory Lap

Tom Brady's four game suspension for his 'involvement' with DeflateGate was upheld by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, and Shank couldn't be happier about it.

In a 20-page decision that was released at 2:32 p.m. Tuesday, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell upheld Tom Brady’s four-game Deflategate suspension. In the day’s most shocking revelation, the commissioner revealed that Brady ordered his assistant to destroy his cellphone on the same day (March 6) Brady was interviewed by NFL investigator Ted Wells. Brady did not disclose this development for several months and it was not confirmed until the day of his suspension appeal hearing, June 23.

What do you say now, Patriot fans? Still think the NFL is out to get the Patriots? Still think Tom Brady is clean? Still think this is a witch hunt?

Of course you do. And that is why at a time when you should be embarrassed, you are probably emboldened.

Please. Give up. It’s time for local loyalists to parachute down from Planet Patriot and get in touch with reality. Stop twisting yourselves into knots to justify the petty crimes and coverups of the Patriots and their quarterback.