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Thursday, September 17, 2020

Tied To The Whipping Post

Is it me or is there always one Red Sox player Shank feels to need to shit on?

Tuesday, September 15, 2020

Off By A Year

I was making the call around this time last year, but today Shank finally throws in the towel: He's poorly bullshitting us with that last half-sentence. We at DSW have documented numerous times where, for instance, Scott Zolak would tweet something sarcastic ar Shank (or respond to one of his in a similar manner) and who could forget the near world record Shank set in the 20 yard / two room office steeple chase and escape? I'm not buying that line of his claiming he 'enjoyed it', and neither should you. I can't wait for the scuttlebut / rumors that will inevitably come out from this.

And Now For Something Completely Different

Watch as fellow curmudgeon sports guy Tony Massarotti shocks the hell out of everyone and drops a beat on yesterday's Felger & Mazz show:

Scoreboard Shaughnessy

Is this Shank's new thing for the 2020 football season?
Bill Belichick 1.

Tom Brady 0.

We are only one week into a 16-game season, but Belichick on Sunday took an early lead in the silent, subliminal spitting contest regarding who was most responsible for the greatest sports dynasty of the 21st century.

It was business as usual for Belichick as the Patriots beat the Dolphins, 21-11, at Gillette. With no Brady, no fans, and no help from eight players who opted out because of COVID-19, the Pats beat the Fish easily. Belichick is still the greatest coach of all time, the Dolphins are still Tomato Cans, and New England’s new quarterback Cam Newton is a pretty good runner. The Pats are 1-0 in the coronavirus era.
You know the rest from there - boring game recaps we've read (or avoided) for decades now.

Friday, September 11, 2020

The Tampa Bay Bradys?

The NFL finally returns to start their 2020 season and already Shank is acting like a huge douchenozzle:
Are you ready for the first all-Boston NFL doubleheader of the 2020 season?

For the first time since the Boston Braves and Red Sox split the affections of Hub hardball fans, we have two professional teams playing in the same major league.

The New England Belichicks kick off Sunday on CBS at 1 p.m. The Tampa Bay Bradys play on Fox at 4:25.
Are any of you as irritated as I am when Shank says stupid and unfunny crap like this? Does he think he's being clever or witty? Well, I'm pretty sure he's the only one.
The Belichicks, a.k.a. the New England Patriots, open their season vs. the Miami Dolphins at an empty Gillette Stadium. There will be no cheerleaders, no musket men, no Brady, and no guarantee of winning the AFC East for the millionth straight season.
First off - I'd like to continue to point out how god damn lifeless any professional sports event is without fans in the stands, and now we get insult added to injury by not having cheerleaders to boot? Last night's game between the Chiefs and the Texans had 22% of the stadium filled with fans, who were wearing masks, doing social distancing and all that bullshit. The risk that's run by continuing to shut fans out would be to make this situation worse. We now have, from a financial perspective of an NFL franchise, no gate revenue, no parking lot and concession stand revenue and (this is the big one) an all but guaranteed reduction in future TV rights the next time the contract gets negotiated because the suits at the networks will not pay the same level of broadcast fees to the NFL & its teams when the viewing numbers dip or fall off the cliff. How long can the NFL (and team owners) risk a permanent reduction in its fan base and still expect the same TV revenues? It's not going to happen, and something will have to give. That 'something to give' is a fucking no-brainer in my book - start returning to normal, like yesterday.
The Bradys, formerly known as the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, will play the Saints in the empty Superdome in New Orleans. Playing as the Buccaneers for a half-century, Tampa Bay was the losingest team in professional sports. Most recently, the Bucs have finished last seven times in nine seasons. All that is expected to change now that they are the Bradys.
God damn, this asshole's really pissing me off now...
We will be watching. Both games. This weekend and every weekend.
The problem is - a lot of other people won't be watching and the NFL, like all professional sports franchises, better figure out and fix this problem before the the damage is irrreversible.

Oh - Shank continues on with the Belichicks and Bradys shtick - screw that; I'm outta here.

Gut Check

No, Shank is not talking about his efforts at weight loss but about tonight's Game 7 against the Toronto Raptors:
It’s time for a Brad Stevens team to step up and win a gut-check game. The 2020 Celtics will be defined by what happens in Game 7 against the Toronto Raptors Friday night in the Orlando bubble.
Impressive grasp of the obvious...
Six games have established that the Celtics are better than the Raptors. It’s been clear throughout this series. Boston won the first two games, and led Game 3 by 2 points with 0.5 seconds left. The Celtics were a half-second away from a de facto sweep of the defending NBA champs.
Wait a minute - this is a seven game series, and the Celtics were going to sweep the series with three wins? Am I missing something here?

Oh, it's a de facto sweep - silly me!
OG Anunoby’s miracle three gave Toronto new life, but the Celtics recovered and thoroughly pantsed Toronto in an easy Game 5 win. The Raptors needed two overtimes and some critical calls Wednesday to force a seventh game.
I'm not sure I buy that logic; after all of that they're tied with three wins each.
So here we are. To advance to the NBA’s Final Four, all the Celtics have to do is beat a clearly inferior Raptors team.

This is it. No excuses. No complaining about Nick Nurse complaining (maybe Brad could find his inner Red Auerbach and get in the ears of the officials now and then). It’s time for these Celtics to demonstrate that they are as good as their blindly loyal fan base says they are. Time for the Celtics to put on their big-kid pants and fulfill the great expectations fans have for them.
You may have noticed by now the 4,624th interation of one of Shank's finest column templates - place huge (and perhaps unrealistic) expectations on the local pro sports franchise so you can take the mother of all shits on them if they lose ('they simply aren't that good', etc.). Time will tell but I'm a little more certain of this now than I was when the Bruins bowed out of the playoffs.

Wednesday, September 09, 2020

Boston Radio Death Watch - I

First, to the proprietor of the Boston Radio Watch Twitter page - I do not mean you! I've been following you for months now, maybe closer to a year and it's one of my go-to sites every day, often a few times during the day.

Second, Boston Radio Watch just linked to a story about the two local PBS / NPR affiliates, which are WGBH and WBUR, respectively. Even with presumably large financial backing courtesy of the American taxpayer, the are in the parlance 'consolidating certain operations':
Rivals GBH, WBUR team up on new podcast with local news

By Don Seiffert – Managing Editor, Boston Business Journal

Boston’s two rival public radio stations, GBH and WBUR, will be working together for the first time on a new daily podcast that combines local and national reporting from across the National Public Radio landscape.

Starting today, listeners in Boston will hear a new version of the NPR podcast, “Consider This,” which comes out in the afternoon and includes both national and community news from that day.

GBH, which recently changed its name from WGBH to emphasize its digital media platforms, and WBUR, which is affiliated with Boston University, are two of a dozen stations across the country contributing to the project.

But only Boston and Los Angeles are in the position of having two stations in the same market working together, according to Pam Johnston, general manager of news at GBH.

Both Johnston and Margaret Low, CEO of WBUR, expressed mutual admiration for each other’s organizations in separate interviews today, while maintaining that despite the partnership, they do in fact remain competitors.

Asked about the rivalry, Low said, “Let me put it this way. Only a wonderful town like Boston could support two such great radio stations…. We may compete in the marketplace, but we’re great admirers of each other.”

Likewise, Johnston said that the two stations “absolutely” remain rivals. “We’re not putting our competitive side aside,” she said. “It’s about being able to reach our public radio audience in a new way.”

Both Johnston and Low are relatively new to their organizations, with Johnston starting in June and Low beginning in her role last November. But the rivalry dates back to 2011, when WGBH first changed its format to more directly compete with WBUR. At the time, then-new general manager at WBUR Charlie Kravetz sharply criticized WGBH for the change, saying “This marketplace did not need to have two public radio stations with the same format… If either station flourishes, it will be at the expense of the other.’’

Jon Abbott, CEO of GBH, defended that decision in an interview last year, saying, “I spent two years after we made the launch in community meetings with my board saying, this is not a nine inch pie plate. It's a 15-inch pie plate, or bigger.… What we know is that the overall number of Bostonians, the overall number has increased in those who are compelled to come and spend time with public radio.”

Neither GBH nor WBUR are adding any extra expenses to create the new podcast.

NPR says that it’s partnering with sponsorship vendor, AdsWizz, to deliver this localized news in the same way podcast publishers deliver any localized sponsorship content.
You know why I copied the entire article? It's because I can - it's pretty easy to get around subscription blockers once you get the hang of it. A larger point - most of you that listen to regular radio are familiar with names of former Boston radio stations - WBCN, WFNX anmd WAAF being just three of the more notable stations that have disappeared over the past decade. One would think WGBH and WBUR by virtue of public financing ought to be able to weather all financial storms, but like their sister organization the Boston Globe (in the ideological sense), none of them can escape the fierce financial gravity of today's media environment.

Boston Globe Death Watch - XII

The end must be near if you're pathetically begging the owner of your corporation for your collective jobs: The level of entitlement on display here is astounding. Learn to code, bitchez!

A Friendly Reminder From Dan Shaughnessy

Shank would like you to know what's happening with the 2020 version of the Olde Towne Team: As a person who appreciates high-level math, I'm pleased to see Shank carry the 'winning' percentage out to six digits. Accuracy is everything!

Tuesday, September 08, 2020

DHL Dan CX - The Red Sox Are Really Bad, Aren't They?

Shank has some fun shooting fish in a barrel:
Thoughts on the last-place Red Sox and other topics Picked-up pieces while watching the embarrassing parade of meatball artists the tanking Red Sox send to the mound every day . . . ▪ Does winning four World Series in this century give Red Sox ownership a lifetime pass for biennial last-place finishes and the Triple A product we are seeing now?
Yes. Next question / complaint?
The Sox are about to finish in the cellar for the fourth time since 2012. In 80 seasons from 1932-2011, the Red Sox finished last exactly once (1992 under Butch Hobson). Now the Sox lead the majors in losses and we’re about to see the fourth basement finish in nine seasons. The tanking we’ve seen in the last three weeks is worse than anything the franchise has put fans through since the pre-Yawkey era of 1926-32. And yet still we have NESN feeding us the “Heat Zone” item that features a random “hot” Sox player who has better stats than some slumping Blue Jay. There’s also a Predict The Game app, treating sophisticated Sox fans like 7-year-olds.
Demonstrating once again - if there wasn't a losing team Shank would have nothing to write about. From there, he says nice things about the Celtics, basically calls Patriorts coach Bill Belichick a liar and rags on the Bruins a bit. In other words, the usual stuff

Friday, September 04, 2020

Rewriting History, A Continuing Series

New York Mets pitcher Tom Seaver passed away earlier this week. Shank lets his imagination run wild:
Tom Seaver was the prince of New York City. He was the greatest New York Met of all time and there is no close second. He was the Franchise, Tom Terrific, the Hall of Fame ace of the 1969 Miracle Mets. Books were written about him, movies were made, and when it was learned he died this week, all three New York metropolitan dailies ripped up their front pages and started anew with tributes to Tom Seaver. New York, New York. That was Tom Seaver. But he also pitched the final games of his career for the Boston Red Sox in 1986. And if he hadn’t hurt his knee in Toronto in late September, he would have started Game 4 of the World Series against the Mets instead of Al Nipper. With Seaver in the rotation, I believe the Red Sox would have won that haunting World Series.
NOTE - the new verson of Blogger isn't taking line / page breaks into account, thus resulting in one big paragraph. I'll figure out a solution / workaround when time permits.

Monday, August 31, 2020

Don't Count Them Out

Shank gives us an update on the Celtics and Bruins in the 'playoffs':
You’re never as good as you look when you win and you’re never as bad as you look when you lose.

Hall of Fame manager Earl Weaver said this regularly back in the 1970s when the Orioles were usually very good. Earl’s wisdom is my takeaway from a weekend watching the Celtics and Bruins.

The Celtics are up. The Bruins are down.

The Celtics demolished the defending World Champion Toronto Raptors, 112-94, in the Orlando bubble Sunday afternoon. It was the first game of a best-of-seven conference semifinal and gave a legion of Green People hope that their team can advance to the conference finals and maybe make it to the NBA Finals for the first time since 2010.
A decent column ensues from there. Can't wait for the sudden attitude change if, for example, the Bruins lose tonight.