Saturday, September 21, 2019

It's Shetland Pony Time Again

Did you think the Patriots releasing Antonio Brown would go down without Shank firing a few rounds at them? Hell no!
Patriots get no points for releasing Antonio Brown

I’m wondering if Antonio Brown gets a Super Bowl ring at Bob Kraft’s house next year.

And I’m wondering if the fans who purchased Antonio Brown jerseys from the Patriot Pro Shop for $99.99 will get their money back.

Hope not. The grinning, dopey guy we featured on these pages Friday — hoisting his No. 17 Patriots jersey at Gillette Stadium — deserves a
financial hit for abject stupidity.

On Friday afternoon, when it became obvious that the Brown situation was only going to get worse, the Patriots finally, grudgingly caved and released the talented but toxic wideout.

In this instance, the Patriots failed to do anything when it mattered.
I could not disagree more. The moment 'when it mattered' was Brown's first act of assholishness (for lack of a better phrase) while a member of the Patriots. Brown was given a shot at redemption by the Patriots, and he screwed it up. Naturally, this is completely ignored by Shank, who uses the rest of the column to lambaste as many people in the Patriots organization as reasonably possible.

Life's real easy when your whole schtick is second guessing everybody and piling on.

Thursday, September 19, 2019

Watch Shank Squirm

On his weekly borefest radio appearance on 98.5 The Sports Hub this morning, Shank wasn't allowed to sleepwalk and re-read his columns during the two hours he was on today:

Partial squirmage can be found here:

Links to the Shank segments can be found here (first hour and second hour).

I'm wondering how things will play out from here. I don't know if this is a one-off from Beetle or if he keeps the pressure on him next week.

Either way, I'm making a prediction - Shank's days on that program are numbered.

Tuesday, September 17, 2019

He Who Sits In A Glass House

...should not throw stones:

Reader reaction was as expected:

Something tells me that Shank won't be fielding that last question.

I'm Here To Ruin Your Morning Coffee

Retweeted by Shank a few minutes ago; you have been warned...
Sometimes I get the impression that a columnist who once wrote 'I write for the fans' didn't really mean it.

A Trip Down Memory Lane

Today's column has Shank waxing rhapsodically about Carl Yastrzemski's grandson.
In the old days, it would have been Sherm Feller, Fenway’s voice of God, making the majestic announcement from upstairs in the PA booth.

Now batting . . . Number 8, Carl Yastrzemski. Left field. Yastrzemski.

Tuesday night at Fenway Park, Henry Mahegan will do the honors when Giants outfielder Mike Yastrzemski (No. 5 in your program) steps into the same batter’s box where his grandfather, Carl, stood all those years ago.

“It will be the first time since 1983 that the name ‘Yastrzemski’ will be announced,’’ says Grandpa Yaz, now 80. “It’s definitely going to be emotional. To see him come into Fenway Park where I played for 23 years, to have his name announced, that will be a great thrill for me.’’\

It might just be the highlight of this sorry Red Sox season.
Isn't that a nice touch?

Saturday, September 14, 2019

It's Shetland Pony Time

My only surprise about Shank criticizing the New England Patriots over the Antonio Brown situation is that it's taken this long for him to respond:
Two days after killing Odin Lloyd, Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez looked into the eyes of Bob Kraft and lied.

“He said he was not involved,’’ Kraft testified in court in Fall River in 2015. “He said he was innocent.’’

Kraft later said that he was “duped’’ by Hernandez, who was eventually convicted of murder. Kraft told us he was duped when he gave Hernandez a $37 million contract extension. He was duped when Hernandez donated $50,000 to the Myra Kraft Giving Back Fund. He was duped when Hernandez said that the Patriot Way had changed his life.

Here we are again. It is not murder this time. It is a rape allegation. There is no criminal complaint. This is a “he-said-she-said” civil lawsuit filed against wide receiver Antonio Brown.
Of course this comes after other Globies are providing cover fire for Shank to do this relatively unnoticed.

Monday, September 09, 2019

Shank On Former Red Sox Boss Dave Dombrowski

Unable to rag on the New England Patriots after last night's 33-3 stomping of the Pittsburgh Steelers, Shank sets his sights on the former Sox president of baseball operations.
Dave Dombrowski is out as baseball boss of the Red Sox.

The news broke after midnight that Boston’s president of baseball operations had been fired.

Fair or unfair, this felt inevitable. I wrote last month that I would be shocked if Dombrowski was still GM next year and those words were greeted with stony silence on Jersey Street. No one came to the defense of a boss that had just won the World Series and had finished in first place in each of his first three full seasons.

Dombrowski did exactly what he was hired to do when the Sox brought him on board in the summer of 2015. He traded prospects for veteran talent. He signed big name free agents. He threw around contract extensions like fun-sized Halloween candies. He ignored draft and development. And he ignored a lot of the people who worked at Fenway Park.
To some extent, one of the ignored people also included Shank himself. Curious that this column seems to lay all the blame for this season's performance at his feet; nary a word about the players themselves. That part of it doesn't matter, as long as Shank has his fall guy.

Sunday, September 08, 2019

Shank's First Salvo At The 2019 New England Patriots

Shank, channeling Sigmund Freud, has the New England Patriots all figured out:
Why Bill Belichick and the Patriots fit our self-image

A sixth championship banner will be unveiled at Gillette Stadium Sunday night before the Patriots kick off their 2019 season against the Pittsburgh Steelers.
As ever, Patriot Nation is smug, arrogant, and oh so satisfied.
I am convinced that the 21st- century Patriots are New England’s favorite team not just because they win, but because they reinforce the local notion that Bostonians are smarter than everybody else.
Jump on the Antonio Brown train wreck? Of course:
How smart? Get a load of this, America. The Patriots just signed Antonio Brown, the best receiver in the NFL and an egomaniacal misfit who acted his way out of Pittsburgh and Oakland in the last six months. It’s going to be all good with Brown now. In Foxborough, he will become an Eagle Scout — Mr. Team Above Self. He will suddenly be a guy who is all about winning and nothing else, simply because he has chosen to be part of the Patriot Way.
Who knew Shank read books?
Blame it on Oliver Wendell Holmes if you must. The Harvard-educated poet and humorist (and father of the legendary Supreme Court justice) is credited with first referencing the State House as “The Hub of the Solar System’’ in the Atlantic Monthly, which begat Boston becoming “The Hub of the Universe.’’
Maybe someone cribbed that stuff for him? That's my bet.

Tuesday, September 03, 2019

DHL Dan LXXXVIII - The One Where Shank Complains About Nearly Everything

You know what the result is of Shank taking a mini-vacation towards the end of the summer? A picked-up pieces column, of course!

What is amazing about this particular 'effort'is that Shank manages to complain about damn near everything under the sun, including Major League Baseball, the Red Sox, TB12, other NFL franchises (sans 'Tomato Can' references), and sundry others. He's one miserable dude, but you knew that already.