DHL Dan CXXV - Position Overstated

Unable to devote full columns criticizing the Red Sox while otherwise enjoying his normal Ft. Myers winter vacation, Shank instead writes about a lot of little things :

Celtics continue to be treated as if they have won something — which they haven’t — and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while paying homage to the underrated Boston Bruins — the only local team that’s getting the job done in 2020-21 …

▪ Danny Ainge, when asked about losses to the Pistons, Wizards, and Hawks, on 98.5 FM Thursday said, “I don’t think we respect our opponents enough.” That’s it, right there. The Celtics act as if they have won something when they have not. They are not as good as they think they are and that includes Jaylen Brown and Jayson Tatum. Brown and Tatum are not yet All-Star starters. This means they are not yet top-10 players. Why does everyone around here treat them like they are top-10 players?

This looks like a classic strawman agument; assert that 'everyone around here' thinks the team and its top two players are the cat's ass. It's based on a rather thin reed:

Also, when did our market go totally soft in its evaluation of this team? I watched the Celtics win a Tuesday game at the Garden against a Denver team that had only four of its top nine players. Friday I watched the Celtics handle the 12-17 Hawks — a team that stunned them two nights earlier. During and after both of these pedestrian wins, folks at NBC Sports Boston reacted as if the Green just beat the Lakers in LA in the seventh game of the Finals. Seriously. How did the bar get so low for this team? It’s like NESN gushing over the last-place Red Sox. I remember when the Larry Bird Celtics went 50-1 at home and barely drew a round of applause. Tommy Heinsohn was the ultimate homer, but the Celtics’ flagship nonsense has only gotten worse since we lost Tommy. Get back, Green Teamers! That means you, Scal.

So, Brian Scalabrine (and supposedly some others at the local NBC Sports affiliate) are the new Tommy Heinson? Somehow I don't find the opinions of a few local sports jocks being the widely felt sentiment of Celtics fans, including this one. It's trademark Shank hyperbole.

From there, he goes on to... complain about pretty much everything; might be worth a read just to marvel at that.

And Now For More Boston Globe Employee Bashing

(Another installment in a continuing series)

Is Kevin Cullen ^* talking about Our Man Shank or Trollin' Volin?

Imagine taking joy in being mocked by a player you did everything you could to chase away from a team you’ve done everything to bad mouth owned by a man who your employer has done everything to see receiving a handjob? https://t.co/maQ5egMSzK

— Kevin Cullen (Parody) (@KevinCulIen) February 18, 2021

^*Parody account!

The Bullshit Meter Is Redlining

For the first time in about five hundred years, Shank does not get to enjoy a Boston Globe funded vacation to Fort Meyers, FL this spring in order to tan his pasty white Irish skin and shit on the Red Sox for a few weeks. It's enough to make you weep, isn't it?

What I will miss about Red Sox spring training

NOT FORT MYERS, Fla. — I miss baseball. I miss the Red Sox being a pleasant diversion and an important topic of conversation at this time of year.

I miss spring training.

Red Sox pitchers and catchers report to Fenway South this week. Player physicals are scheduled for Wednesday, with the first workout for pitchers and catchers Thursday morning. The first full-squad workout is Monday, and the Sox’ Grapefruit League opener is Feb. 28 against the Minnesota Twins at Hammond Stadium.

This guy's been shitting on the Red Sox with regularity, and we're supposed to believe absolute bullshit like this. The more likely explanation is that he doesn't get to escape the New England winter (and lord knows what else) for a few weeks.

DHL Dan CXXIV - Head Scratcher

Shank 'treats' us to another half useless column:

The Red Sox still have us scratching our heads, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while wondering who’ll be the next Boston athlete to leave town …

I wonder if he means 'leave' or him running someone out of town?

▪ There are times when it seems as if the Red Sox front office is trying to turn fans against the hometown team. I can’t remember anything like it. Instead of touting big-name talents and inspiring pennant fever, the Sox peddle payroll flexibility, team contract control, spin rate, and exit velocity while asking fans to be patient and wait for the future.

The Sox have admitted they are not “all in” to win this year and dumped many popular players in a quest to assemble a 25-man roster of nameless, faceless, analytic-friendly castoffs. And there’s no accountability or explanation from above.

He goes on from there to detail what the Red Sox have done (and haven't sone) for offseason moves, so in that sense, the column is useful. If you consider we've had five picked up pieces columns over the past month (from a total of ten), it reeks of laziness, and he spends the majority of the rest of the column ragging on as many people as he can.

Still Debatable

With Tom Brady winning his seventh Super Bowl on Sunday, the debate about him being the GOAT got going almost immediately. Here's Shank's contribution to the conversation:

Tom Brady, the greatest winner ever in sports? Not so fast

We have ceded almost all platitudes. Tom Brady is the best quarterback and greatest football player ever. Better than Johnny Unitas, Peyton Manning, Lawrence Taylor, or Jim Brown.

He is chiseled on our New England Rushmore alongside Ted Williams, Bobby Orr, and Bill Russell. Nobody else is close. Sorry, Larry Bird. And please don’t bring David Ortiz into the conversation (”Ooh, but Papi has three rings and Williams has zero.” Curtis Leskanic has a ring. Was he better than Carl Yastrzemski?).

Events of Sunday night have brought us to a predictable place. And now we wonder if Brady has supplanted Russell as the greatest of all the greats. Is Brady the greatest winner in sports history? Better than Michael Jordan, Babe Ruth, Wayne Gretzky, Gordie Howe, and LeBron James? Better than Jim Thorpe and Serena Williams? Better than Tiger and Jack? Better than Ali? Better than Secretariat?

Or Formula One greats Michael Schumacher and Lewis Hamilton, and you could throw in Pele and Lionel Messi for good measure.

I’m saying no. Let’s not rush to judgment based on Sunday night’s sugar high.

Brady is closing the gap, but this debate still starts and ends with Russell, the man won two NCAA championships, an Olympic gold medal, and 11 NBA championships in 13 seasons. At the age of 43, Brady just won his seventh Super Bowl in his 21st season. It’s truly unbelievable, especially in an age of parity, salary caps, four rounds of playoffs, and a 32-team league. But it does not make him a greater winner than Russell.

You think it’s a big deal that Bruce Arians let Brady help coach the Buccaneers? Swell. Russell actually coached the Celtics to two championships while he was busy being their best player.

I called around to make sure this is not just me. I spoke with four people who have seen a lot.

I'm in agreement with Russell still holding the crown, but being a cyclist I can make a solid argument in favor of Eddy Merckx; just look at this guy's resume - eleven Grand Tour wins, former hour record holder (average speed / distance covered - 31 miles / MPH) and won a grand total of 525 bike races. It's estimated that he won thirty percent of the races he's ever entered.

Two things make the whole column better - Shank actually did some serious work with this column and he lets the four (Ernie Accorsi, Bob Cousy, Bob Ryan and Richard Johnson) take over the column from here. It's definitely worth a read.

DHL Dan CXXIII - Super Bowl Recycling

What better way is there to write about tomorrow's Super Bowl than rehasing one of your old columns?

Recalling another high-stakes Brady-Mahomes matchup, and other thoughts

Recalling, recycling - it's all the same!

Picked-up pieces while picking up a Super Bowl sheet cake at Star Market …

▪ Super Bowl LV is easily framed as Tom Brady vs. Patrick Mahomes, quite possibly the top pairing of quarterbacks in the 55-year history of this event. Those of us lucky enough to be at Arrowhead Stadium on Jan. 20, 2019, will never forget the first championship matchup of the GOAT vs. NFL Future.

It was the biggest game in the 47-year history of Arrowhead at that time, and the Patriots cut the hearts out of the frozen local fans by keeping a lid on Mahomes and bolting to a 14-0 halftime lead. New England led, 17-7, at the end of three quarters before a flurry of scoring filled the fourth. Both teams scored twice in the final 3:32 of regulation and it went to overtime tied, 31-31.

The original column can be found here. The rest of the Picked Up Pieces column is the usual stuff - shit on the Red Sox, shit on Curt Schilling, a silly quiz, etc.

Inversion

At last - Shank comes up with a decent column!

In the sports-world pecking order, Tampa has left us in New England behind

They don’t have Duck Boats in Tampa. Or Swan Boats. Or Harvard. Or Yo-Yo Ma. Or Fenway Park.

But you know what they do have?

Better teams than we have.

That’s right. In an unthinkable inversion, Tampa is Titletown and we are Loserville. I can’t seem to get my big head around this new reality. We’ve mocked them for decades. Now they own us. The Lightning beat the Bruins in the playoffs. The Rays beat the Red Sox every year. Tom Brady is going to the Super Bowl with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

How does that taste, Boston?

Now that I think about it, he's just trolling us again, but not without reason.

The Dustin Pedroia Retirement Column

Red Sox second baseman Dustin Pedroia finally calls it a career. Since Shank is generally incapable of anything resembling a respectful retirement-type ending when it comes to a local athlete signing off, he wisely turns it over to two guys who know him best, Theo Epstein and Curt Schilling Tito Francoa:

Two guys who know him well have the highest praise for Dustin Pedroia

Theo Epstein and Terry Francona are busy guys with important jobs, not always eager to talk about their Red Sox years, which were important but did not end well.

Just a friendly reminder - Shank was uniquely instrumental in the former's departure from the Red Sox with the infamous 'Dirty Laundry' column. How Shank got Tito Francoa to co-write his book with him after that bullshit will forever be a mystery on par with Jimmy Hoffa's true burial site.

Both responded immediately when I reached out Monday regarding the retirement of Dustin Pedroia.

“It’s a combination of sadness and real appreciation,” Epstein said of a player he drafted in the second round out of Arizona State in 2004. “It’s tough to see someone like him, whose heart would allow him to accomplish anything he wanted, not go out on his own terms.

“But at the same time, it gives everyone an opportunity to think back at everything he accomplished and everything he meant to the Red Sox and how this entire era wouldn’t have been possible without him.

Probably for the best to let them do the talking for Shank, who could not help himself over the years and took some juvenile potshots at Pedroia because of his height. To my recollection, today is the first time he ever put that into its proper context and not made it sound like the juvenile potshot it otherwise is.

DHL Dan CXXII - Next Year's News Today!

In the latest extravaganza of the Picked Up Pieces column, I wasn't quite sure what to expect based on this tweet:

Thanks, Chris https://t.co/Ju8XGZv0i7

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 29, 2021

A few things to point out. Gasper's correct in the sense that being someone's 'foil' can mean 'to prevent something undesireable from succeeding'. That's certainly the case with Schilling, who Shank wanted to put in jail for defaulting on a $75 million loan from the state of Rhode Island. I wouldn't want someone like that as part of the jury pool. Gasper then uses another interesting word to describe part of this column - hilarious'. Unless this is some old inside joke between Globies, does anyone think Shank is funny? Funny how, you may ask? Let's check out the column:

We’re a year away from the wildest Hall of Fame election ever, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while daydreaming about how — in a normal year — my JetBlue flight would be landing in Tampa for Super Bowl Week right about now …

Shank whining about not getting a paid vacation from the Globe to go to Florida for a week? That's not funny. Reading about Shank whining about not getting the free vacation? That's fucking hilarious!

▪ Look for David Ortiz to sail into Cooperstown when the Hall of Fame Class of 2022 is announced at this time next year. Big Papi comes on the ballot for the first time in December, and I believe he’ll easily vault over the 75 percent threshold.

It’s going to be the wildest Hall election ever, which is saying something given events of this past week. Ortiz and Álex Rodríguez are the top achievers among the new candidates in 2022, and they will be on the same ballot with Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, and Curt Schilling (sorry, Schill, you don’t get to withdraw your name), who’ll all be in their 10th and final year of consideration.

Shank thinks Ortiz is a lock (ditto) but Schilling is not:

▪ I’ve sent Schilling’s 1,200-word Tuesday night screed to multiple geniuses and soothsayers, and nobody seems to be able to decode the thing. Curt keeps telling us he’s not a Hall of Famer but anybody who didn’t vote for him is a coward (Schill should have blamed the BBWAA’s Dominion voting machines).

Schilling says he’ll gladly turn his candidacy over to the Veterans Committee, but a quarter of that committee will be media members, and there might also be a few Hall of Famers curious about Curt’s position papers on Black Lives Matter issues.

Let’s also remember that Schilling went out of his way to bury Clemens and Bonds, which never plays well with ex-players.

Nobody can figure out what Curt’s issue is with the Red Sox (”What Mr. Henry and Mr. Werner did to my family and I in my final year …”). In his final season (2008), the Red Sox paid Schilling $8 million for not throwing a single pitch. By this logic, Curt also must be angry at the taxpayers of Rhode Island for what they did to his family.

▪ Got an e-mail from a Hall of Famer who was not buying Schill’s response or his logic. The thrust of this missive was that Schilling is copping out, taking his ball and going home instead of letting voters who have ruled on the Hall since 1936 make a decision on his candidacy.

Schilling always wanted the ball in the big games, so where is that now? This e-mail from a Hall of Famer doesn’t bode well for Schill’s hope to gain points with the Veterans Committee.

Schilling’s request to be removed from the ballot presents as an attempt to avoid a 10th rejection. He doesn’t make the rules, and the Hall should reject his request.

So if anything was hilarious with this column, it's purely inadvertent. That said, this is a pretty good column.

Scoreboard

You just knew Shank would use the win by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers on Sunday to bash the Patriots, didn't you?

Final score: Tom Brady 1, Patriots 0

The headline says it all...

Forty-three-year old Tom Brady is going to the Super Bowl.

In the immortal words of Bob Lobel, “Why can’t we get players like that?’'

All precincts have reported and it’s official: Brady has beaten Bill Belichick and Bob Kraft in a landslide. Ten months after leaving New England because the Patriots were done with him, Brady showed the world he’s still got the goods. The Patriots, who had no real plan to replace their quarterback, finished 7-9 and out of the playoffs. Meanwhile, Brady is going to his 10th Super Bowl; with the clown car Tampa Bay Buccaneers, no less.

This is like seeing the Red Sox dump Mookie Betts in the name of payroll flexibility, then watching Betts win the World Series after the Sox finish last.

Ouch! I bet he's been saving that line for months now. In any event, you and I know this new found love and appreciation for Tom Brady is world class hypocrisy, wrapped in bullshit. Let's take a look at recent history, shall we?

First up - September 30, 2014 - The Kansas City Massacre::

By the end of the night, the darts and arrows were coming from every direction. Bill Belichick was grilled about his musical-chair offensive line and the notion of starting two rookies in front of Brady in a loud enemy theater. The coach was asked if he might have to “evaluate” his quarterback position; the question from CSNNE’s Mike Giardi elicited a smirk with no comment. There were hysterical calls for out-of-work Charlie Weis to replace Josh McDaniels as offensive coordinator. Darrelle Revis was compared to Carl Crawford (OK, that one was me). It was noted that no Belichick defense had ever surrendered 300 yards in a first half. There was a television graphic explaining that the Patriots offense ranks last in the NFL, averaging 4.6 yards per play. We were told that Brady has missed his target more than 25 percent of the time.

July 28, 2015 - Deal With It - Brady's A Cheater:

In a 20-page decision that was released at 2:32 p.m. Tuesday, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell upheld Tom Brady's four-game Deflategate suspension. In the day's most shocking revelation, the commissioner revealed that Brady ordered his assistant to destroy his cellphone on the same day (March 6) Brady was interviewed by NFL investigator Ted Wells. Brady did not disclose this development for several months and it was not confirmed until the day of his suspension appeal hearing, June 23.

What do you say now, Patriot fans? Still think the NFL is out to get the Patriots? Still think Tom Brady is clean? Still think this is a witch hunt?

Of course you do. And that is why at a time when you should be embarrassed, you are probably emboldened.

Please. Give up. It's time for local loyalists to parachute down from Planet Patriot and get in touch with reality. Stop twisting yourselves into knots to justify the petty crimes and coverups of the Patriots and their quarterback.

January 3, 2017 - The Patriots Only Win Because Everybody Else Sucks:

Am I the only one?

Is there anybody else out in Patriot Nation who’d like to see the Patriots in a competitive, thrilling playoff game? You know . . . a game where the outcome is in doubt before Hoodie defers on the coin toss?

Guess not. The Patriots are going to get to the AFC Championship game without a serious test of their considerable abilities

February 28, 2020 - Please Go Away, Tom:

I just want it to be over.

And I officially am hoping Tom Brady leaves the Patriots.

Sorry.

I want Tom to go because his history-making time has run its course here. I like sports drama, and it would be a much better story if Tom goes to a new team. I’d like to see what Bill Belichick can do without Brady. I’d like to see what Brady can do for the Los Angeles/Tampa Bay/Tennessee Bradys.

And, with any further Tom Brady guile, luck and / or winning ability, Shank will have one more convenient column that he'll milk into a few more so he can take shots at the Patriots until Draft Day.

And Now For Some More Boston Globe Employee Bashing

Some tweets don't age very well, like this one:

#TBvsGB #GoBucs pic.twitter.com/4qMq3b79OF

— Freezing Cold Takes (@OldTakesExposed) January 24, 2021

Hat tip - Boston Radio Watch

DHL Dan CXXI - The Hank Aaron Tribute

With the recent passing of baseball legend Hank Aaron, Shank's latest Picked up Pieces column details his one home run at Fenway Park:

Picked-up pieces while readying for another Sunday on the football couch …

▪ Hank Aaron, who died Friday, hit 755 home runs, but only one at Fenway Park. On Sept. 14, 1975, working as a designated hitter for the Milwaukee Brewers, Aaron stepped into the righthanded batter’s box and cranked a Bill Lee fastball into the left-field screen. It was the 41-year-old Aaron’s last home run of the season. He would hit only 10 more the rest of his career.

“It would have been the last of his career if he’d retired that year, but they talked him into coming back for one more season,” Lee said from his Vermont home Friday when he learned of Aaron’s death.

He then takes a shot at Curt Schilling (natch), half hoping he won't get into the Baseball Hall of Fame, but we knew that already. He also jumps off the Tom Brady bandwagon (ok, he was never on it, but still!) before this next somewhat interesting part:

▪ Some readers wondered whether Sam Kennedy was contentious in our recent interview when he admitted that the Red Sox are not going “all-in” this season. The answer is no.

The Red Sox CEO/president is ever-polite and a true professional. He also is a company man who is carrying out the directives of his bosses.

When I asked him why we have heard nothing from those bosses since Mookie Betts was dumped 11 months ago, he said, “Our owners are available. They are available and accountable and, frankly, they are regarded as the best owners in Major League Baseball.”

When I pushed back on his contention that the owners are “available,” he said, “I’m not going to engage in that.” But he was not contentious.

So what the hell was Shank complaining about in the previous post? He has a problem with another reporter either a) disagreeing with his questioning of Kennedy or b) Kennedy responding to Shank in a 'spirited' manner. Since 'not contentious' strongly implies a lack of 'spirited' debate, this makes me inclined to change my own opinion about it and say Shank's being just a bit thin-skinned here. Then again, it could still be both!

There's lots of little things from that point on.

But You Can't Question Shank

The previous post clearly demonstrates Shank always trying to have it both ways. He does so again today, as he can question people like Sam Kennedy about the Red Sox, but apparently Kennedy's not supposed to 'give it back' to Shank:

Odd that a journalist would have this take on . . . journalism https://t.co/VdXCZw07oc

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 21, 2021

It's clear enough Shank's not really bent out of shape about another writer disagreeing with him, but that the person he's interviewing has the temerity to challenge Shank at all. Because Shank's a fucking weasel he'll not make the clear connection between which specific part of the statement he has a problem with, so that leaves us to draw our own worst conclusions.

He can dish it out but he can't take it.

Plan Questioned

Like clockwork, Shank bitches about the Boston Red Sox' strategy for the near future:

The president and CEO of the Boston Red Sox admits the Sox are not “all-in” trying to win the World Series this year.

“I think it would be inaccurate to say we are going for it with an all-in approach that perhaps we did prior to the 2018 title,” Sam Kennedy acknowledged in a wide-ranging interview Tuesday.

“We cherish that title, and all of them, but the way we built that team came at a price, which included importantly a depleted farm system and some depleted draft picks along the way. So we are building back up, and as we do this hopefully the right way, we’ll have a chance to be competitive in the American League East in 2021, but also for the longer term.”

This is Shaughnessy in a nutshell - advocate for more free agent spending back in the day, and when that finally runs its course in subsequent years (like last year and this year, in a completely shit sports environment) complain that a) the team sucks and b) they're not doing the big free agency spending spree all over again so the Sox can supposedly win it in 2021.

Some people are just born jagoffs.

Who Loves Ya, Baby? - II

In light of Tom Brady making his 14th NFL conference championship game this coming Sunday against the Green Bay Packers, Shank recounts all of them:

Tom Brady is going to Green Bay on Sunday to play in his 14th conference championship game. This will be his first NFC title joust. Brady’s original 13 were played when he was a New England Patriot, and he won nine. Here’s a thumbnail history of Brady’s conference championship games with the Patriots:

▪ 2002 at Pittsburgh. W, 24-17. Brady’s first, and the only one he didn’t complete. The Patriots were underdogs on the road, and Brady came out of the game early with a sprained ankle after he was was taken down by Steelers defensive back Lee Flowers.

Drew Bledsoe, who had been The Franchise, threw a touchdown pass to David Patten almost immediately and managed the game the rest of the way.

DHL Dan CXX - The Long Wait

Shank's latest Picked Up Pieces column is exactly that:

Picked-up pieces while readying to watch 43-year-old Tom Brady return to the site of his first championship when he was 24 years old in 2002 …

▪ Tampa Bay by the Charles Update: The Red Sox wear me out with their inactivity. The trick over on Jersey Street seems to be floating the notion that the Sox are “in on” every free agent and trade possibility … and then doing nothing. This perpetuates the narrative — based on hope more than reality — that they will spend to improve the team.

The Sox were a last-place team in 2012, 2014, and 2015. This feels different. This time they appear content to stay in the basement as support erodes among the loyal fan base.

Funny how Shank spent the past eight months shitting on the team no matter what they did, and now gets to criticize them for sitting on their hands. If only there were a person at the Boston Globe who also owns the red sox that Shank could talk to...

From there it's the usual mix of this and that (the parts about Alabama's bowl win and Doug Pederson's firing from Philadelphia looking like ripoffs of Felger and Mazz themes from Monday & Tuesday), and a good amount of the column's devoted to how many of Tom Brady's playoff games Shank and other people have witnessed in person. Count me out as giving a fuck about that one.

Who Loves Ya, Baby?

Is Shank trying to pull the wool over our eyes?

Go Browns. Go Cleveland.

These are strange times for New England sports fans. We are coming into the divisional round of the NFL playoffs — wall-to-wall with big games — and the Patriots are not part of the action. We are in search of a team to adopt.

It’s easy for a lot of you, I know. Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski are with Tampa Bay, and the Buccaneers play the New Orleans Saints in the Superdome Sunday night. It’s the marquee matchup of the weekend, and lots of Patriots fans have adopted the Bucs.

Not me.

I am all about Cleveland. The Browns will be playing the Super Bowl champion Kansas City Chiefs at Arrowhead Stadium Sunday afternoon, and they need my love a lot more than Brady does.

Imagine being anything in need of Shank's love - I'll opt for being fed to hungry Australian sharks. From there the column devolves into boring, Shank-like rote recitals of Cleveland playoff futility and hard luck. Let's not forget, however, a time when Shank wasn't all hugs and kisses for our friends from Ohio, like when he Shanked the whole city of Cleveland nearly six years ago.

Better Than '4th And 2'?

Shank's really laying the bullshit on thick with his latest column:

Bill Belichick made a great call on Medal of Freedom decision

President Trump should call Curt Schilling. I’m pretty sure Schill would have no problem showing up in Washington to collect a Presidential Medal of Freedom in the middle of impreachment proceedings, eight days after Trump incited violence against the United States of America.

I challenge anyone out there to point out precisely what President Trump said to incite violence. I've been hearing this line of 'argument' for a week - shouldn't we have plenty specific quotes of violence-inciting rhetoric about this by now?

We haven't, because Trump did not incite violence. Not once.

Given that's the premise of the column, I don't see a need to comment any further, unless you'd like to see Shank take a victory lap of some sort, none of it deserved.

DHL Dan CXIX - Au Contraire

Shank's been a critic of Curt Schilling, to put it mildly. And in another Picked-Up Pieces column, Shank leads off with criticizing Schilling for supporting the 'mostly peaceful' protestors in our nation's capital on Wednesday:

Picked-up pieces while nestling into the couch for the best pro football weekend of the year …

▪ Curt Schilling would help himself if he’d stop spewing hate and claiming he’s being punished by Baseball Hall of Fame voters because of his “politics.” Supporting a racist (really, Shank? - ed) mob that stormed the Capitol is not being “political.” Advocating for lynching journalists, calling Adam Jones a liar when he said he heard racist slurs at Fenway Park, bilking Rhode Island out of $75 million, collecting Nazi memorabilia, and posting anti-transgender material … these are not “political” stands.

Do you think Shank could articulate just what, precisely, was 'racist' about the protestors, aside from them being majority Caucasian? Does that also make Shank, a pasty white Irishman, racist as the dickens? This cheap eight grade name calling, initiated by him in this article and used far and wide by leftists across the land since time immemorial, detracts from the weight of his argument, or it should for most people. I've said before that Schilling has given his opponents plenty of ammunition and he seems to have done so again here. It's much easier to simply point out the massive rank hypocrisy of the Democrats and Shank-type media dorks (by and large the same thing) like this guy does, at least with respect to the local scene.

By the way - I have an English and a German copy of Mein Kampf. Does that mean I collect Nazi memorabilia? Shank wouldn't care unless my last name was Schilling. From there, the rest of the column's okay.

Fine Their Asses!

Shank wasn't happy about last night's game:

Doug Pederson is a disgrace to professional sports.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) January 4, 2021

In fact - he was so pissed off about it he cranked out a column calling for some heads:

NFL should come down on the Eagles for Sunday night’s performance

Maybe they should, but they probably won't.

The Philadelphia Eagles are a disgrace and should be punished by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell.

The Eagles intentionally lost a “Sunday Night Football” game that had massive playoff implications for two other franchises. Philadelphia’s tank job served to improve its draft position from ninth to sixth, so the league should take away that first-round pick. Then fine the owner, suspend coach Doug Pederson, and apologize to all of us for insulting our intelligence and allowing Philly to throw a game.

Remember Deflategate? The Patriots lost their first-round pick, a fourth-rounder, got fined a million bucks, and saw Tom Brady suspended four games just for taking a little air out of the footballs. The Patriots were punished for breaching the integrity of the game. Tampering with the footballs was deemed a competition violation.

Based on that premise, his logic is sound. However, to use Shank's phraseology Deflategate was a bag job of a punishment and doing the same thing here would establish an ability to second guess a coaching decision, which is somewhat defensible were it not for the three pick improvement in draft pick. I'd be on board with that one at least being pushed back to the original slot; maybe taking it away completely would be a useful deterrent for future wannabe tank artists.

The rest of the column's worth reading and it'll be interesting to see what NFL commissioner Goddell does with this hot potato.

And Now For A Slight Change Of Tone

Since it's difficult to rag on a team when they win, Shank wraps up the last game of the New England Patriots' season, a 28 - 14 win over the New Your Jets, and uses a curious word to re-describe the season for the Patriots:

Remember when we thought watching a challenged Patriots team would be fun? Never mind

I really thought the Patriots season was going to be fun. Finally, we would have something different. At long last there was a challenge to win the division. Without Tom Brady, the Pats could not simply roll out the footballs and automatically win the AFC East. They would not be handed another first-round bye. There would be no Tomato Can Home Game in Round 1 of the playoffs. No more tedious palace intrigue involving Bill, Tom, and Bob. No more same-old, same-old.

It was going to be different. Interesting. The thrill of the unknown.

I was wrong. The 2020 Patriot football season was not fun. The Patriots were effectively out of the playoffs in early December and played out the string over the final four games of the season.

Let's just say that, on occasion, Shank likes to rewrite some things. Can you tell from this column or this column if you can detect any notion of Shank thinking the Patriots were going to be a 'fun' team? He describes the first season win (second link) as 'business as usual' for the team, about as far away from 'fun' as you can get. He did enjoy the Seahawks game but that's as close as he ever got on the 'fun' front. He's just full of shit on this point. This is what he's been writing since Week 4:

The local football season was neither interesting nor entertaining. By the time they faced the Dolphins, Bills, and Jets at the finish, the Patriots were just plain bad. They were 2020 Red Sox bad.

Any of you remember the Stupor Bowl at Memorial Stadium back in 1981? That’s when the 2-13 Patriots lost to the 1-14 Baltimore Colts, 23-21, in front of 17,073 fans. The game featured six turnovers, 12 penalties, and attempts by both teams to intentionally lose the game. The Pats finally succumbed when they ran out of timeouts after “driving” to the Colts’ 15-yard line.

Forget the fact that the current Patriots team won a game by two touchdowns; Shank tries to tie them to one of the worst losses in Patriots history and has to go back almost four decades to do it. Other than that, it's a valid comparison!

DHL Dan CXVIII - Disingenuous Headlines

During the Bill Belichick era with the New England Patriots, Shank has never been known as an evenhanded columnist or one to give people a somewhat fair shake, especially this head coach. You can imagine my half-surprise when I saw this bullshit a little while ago:

Coming to the defense of Bill Belichick, and other thoughts

Dan Shaughnessy, our man in shining armor! Picked-up pieces while desperately seeking a better new year . . .

▪ The rush to give Tom Brady all the credit for the last two decades of Patriots success is unfair and inaccurate.

That sounds like a misleading premise, in that Shank implies an undefined but nonetheless solid majority opinion in favor of giving Tom 'all the credit'. Has this been the Boston talk radio theme earlier this week?

At this hour Brady is leading bigly in the “Tom vs. Bill” debate, but none of those six Super Bowls happen without the Hoodie. Week in and week out, year in and year out, the Patriots won because of preparation, coaching, and abject intimidation of the opposition — in addition to talent. In these dark hours along Route 1, it’s a mistake to assign New England’s two-decade dynasty solely to Brady. History will treat Bill Belichick much better than what he’s been hearing from all of us these last couple of weeks. Does anyone ever challenge Red Auerbach’s credentials as a head coach? No. And Auerbach the coach never won a championship without Bill Russell. In 20 seasons on the bench, Red won nine championships, all with Russell on the court. We still built a statue for Red.

All that's true / obvious, but I suspect this is a head fake. Come tomorrow afternoon the Patriots could very well lose badly. I've been a pessimist all year about them, and after the Bills game last week I think this last part of the season will be payback for the past two decades, thus last week's ass kicking and at least a loss tomorrow. At that point you know who's going to come out with guns blazing like the 4th and 2 column and the Kansas City Massacre columns. We're onto your old tricks!

It's a mixed bag from there, probably worth reading.

Stoic

With the passig of K.C. Jones earlier in the week, Shank talks to another Boston Celtics legend about mortality.

Bob Cousy stoically deals with the toughest of losses — his old teammates

They seemed to be immortal, those Celtics of my childhood, forever running the parquet floor, earning easy baskets and hard-fought championships. Bill Russell would snatch a rebound, kick it out to Tommy Heinsohn on the wing, and Tommy would find Sam Jones at the other end for a breakaway layup.

The Celtics of 1963 were in the middle of a run of eight consecutive championships, 11 in 13 seasons.

It was a team that featured nine Hall of Fame players, plus a Hall of Fame coach (Red Auerbach) and a Hall of Fame owner (Walter Brown). John Havlicek was a rookie and Bob Cousy was retiring — like DiMaggio passing the Yankee torch to Mantle in 1951.

The reality, of course, is that our Garden Gods do not live forever, and we’ve been losing them at an alarming rate the last couple of years. Frank Ramsey (86) died in 2018, Havlicek (79) in 2019, and last week we lost K.C. Jones (88), one month after Heinsohn died at the age of 86.

“It’s depressing,” the 92-year-old Cousy said from his home in Worcester this week. “They’re starting to fall by the wayside. I’m starting to look over my shoulder the way Satchel Paige used to say — don’t look back, they might be gaining on you.

The rest of it is worth reading.

And Now For A Goodfellas Reference / Tweet Of The Day

“Well we had a problem. Tommy’s gone. And there’s nothing we could do about it. He’s gone.” https://t.co/cuzYZB5rba

— Stephen L. Miller (@redsteeze) December 29, 2020

Patriots Defensive Woes Fixed

A brilliant suggestion from the Boston Globe's Kevin Cullen^**:

It’s not on Cam, it’s on the defense. If only Sam could teach them how to tackle Buffalo Bills the way he tackled that Brookline Cop https://t.co/izq33Ddnry

— Kevin Cullen (Parody) (@KevinCulIen) December 29, 2020

The 'Sam' reference is, of course, to Sam Shaughnessy.

(^** = parody account)

Worst Case Scenario

Shank had a busy night last night. After the New England Patriots got mauled on Monday Night football by the Buffalo Bills, he bangs out a column about it and comes down heavy on coach Bill Belichick, natch:

Bill Belichick is living a worst-case scenario after moribund Patriots get crushed by Bills

Now we know what if feels like when the Tomato Can is on the other shelf; when the local coach is the one getting pantsed; when the Patriots are the team riding in the clown car.

The Buffalo Bills — Bill Belichick’s and Tom Brady’s personal punching bags for the last two decades — demolished the moribund Patriots, 38-9, on “Monday Night Football” at Gillette Stadium.

It was perhaps the worst night ever for the Hoodie in New England. He watched his special teams get suckered on a fake punt. He got mad and fired a telephone into a wall after getting bad advice on a challenge from aide de camp Ernie Adams. He watched his defense morph into Swiss cheese. And he gave New England the collective finger by sticking with Cam Newton to start the second half after Newton submitted yet another pathetic performance in the first two quarters.

Around the same time this hit the wires, Shank goes on a local sports show to talk about Celtics legend KC Jones' passing and other Celtics stuff:

Tonight on @boston25 Sportswrap at 11:15 @Dan_Shaughnessy joins us to talk stories about #TommyHeinsohn #KCJones and all things #Celtics @Bos25Sports pic.twitter.com/HvmEYp0RpX

— Butch Stearns (@ButchStearns) December 28, 2020

Now there's a face for radio!

DHL Dan CXVII - The Joe Mooney Tribute, Etc.

With little on the immediate Boston professional sports front, Shank drops his usual semi-monthly bag of Picked Up Pieces stuff:

Remembering Joe Mooney, a Fenway original, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while waiting to say goodbye to a horrible year in which we lost so many favorite people . . .

Another Fenway legend passed away at the end of November when longtime groundskeeper Joe Mooney died in Wakefield at the age of 90. For three decades starting in 1970, Mooney had control of the Fenway grounds. Total control. Nobody stepped foot on Fenway’s sacred sod without an OK from Joe Mooney. Woe was any nitwit sportswriter who popped out of the dugout and walked on the grass without Mooney’s permission. That went for ballplayers, too. I can’t prove it, but I believe Mooney was first to utter the now ubiquitous, “Get off my lawn!’’

Definitely go check out the Joe Mooney stuff; the rest is worth punting on.

Dan Shaughnessy, Talking Heads Fan?

Actually I kind of doubt it but if a tweet I spotted a few minutes ago is any indication, we're in for a cliche filled masterpiece after the New England Patriots got stomped on national TV last night, 24-3, to the Los Angeles Rams. Let's count the ways, shall we?

The Patriots are on a road to nowhere after humiliating loss to Rams

There is blood on the tracks of the Patriots’ playoff path in the wake of the Rams’ 24-3 rout of New England Thursday night at SoFi Stadium in SoCal.

Ouch. The Patriots’ playoff map is now the path of most resistance, the road to perdition, >b>the highway to hell.

The Flying Elvises have checked out of their Hotel California and probably the postseason hunt as well. They are 6-7 and very likely will be watching the playoffs on television for the first time since 2008. Three games remain — all against the AFC East — but the Patriots need more help than You-Know-Who if they hope to salvage a playoff spot in this gritty, but lost campaign. Bob Kraft’s best hope might be to blame the whole thing on Dominion and petition the Supreme Court to overturn losses in California, Missouri, Texas, Washington, New York, and Massachusetts (twice).

From there, Shank blames things mostly on Cam Newton, which he (admittedly) stole at halftime from Terry Bradshaw doing the Fox halftime show.

You know the rest of the column already - a standard game recap and a few more shovels full of dirt on the Patriots' 2020 football season.

Another Belichick Masterpiece

Here's Shank's take on yesterday's beatdown win by the patriots over the L.A. Chargers:

This rout of the Chargers had everything Bill Belichick loves about football

They aren’t going to make it to the Super Bowl, they aren’t going to win the AFC East, and they are still unlikely to participate in the NFL playoffs.

But the 2020 COVID-19 Patriots are emerging as one of Bill Belichick’s favorite teams.

Sunday in Inglewood, Calif. — across the street from the spot where Kevin McHale flattened Kurt Rambis in the 1984 NBA Finals — we saw another Special Teams Palooza as the Patriots demolished the Los Angeles Chargers, 45-0, at SoFi Stadium.

This beatdown had all the stuff Bill loves: Blocked field goals returned for touchdowns; punts downed inside the 10; punts returned for touchdowns; Gunner Olszewski, the undrafted guy from Bemidji State, scoring two touchdowns and making a special teams tackle in the fourth quarter. It was a Special Teams Tour De Force that will hang in Belichick’s Leather Helmet Louvre near the Sankaty Head Lighthouse in Nantucket.

You know how it goes by now - positive columns from Shank when the Patriots win, negative ones when they don't.

DHL Dan CXVI - The Recycled Shaughnessy

In yesterday's installment of the Picked Up pieces column, Shank repeats a week's worth of local sports talk themes:

Whether the Patriots will soon make a change at quarterback, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while wondering about the Patriots’ quarterback controversy . . .

▪ Cam Newton or Jarrett Stidham? Tom Brady vs. Drew Bledsoe, this is not. As bad as Newton has been, the belief here is that Bill Belichick stays with Cam until the Patriots are mathematically eliminated from playoff contention. Newton’s horrendous game last week vs. Arizona, coupled with his sudden appearance on the injury report (abdomen) fueled speculation that change is afoot and inspired folks at 98.5 The Sports Hub to conduct a “Who Should Start at Quarterback This Weekend?” poll in which 58 percent of more than 8,000 listeners wanted Newton. It makes for great headline/talk-radio fodder, but Belichick seems unlikely to make a switch at this time. There appears to be no rush to take a look at Stidham, and for all of his incompetence, Newton has the loyalty of his teammates. Belichick probably doesn’t want to do anything to dent morale or cost Newton incentive money. And Bill will tell anybody who listens that he still believes Newton puts the Patriots in the best position to win.

Rest at the link, including a Springsteen reference, of course.

Getting His (Jack The) Shot Off

Now that the unpleasant visual's out of the way, Shank tells a nice story about a Holy Cross / Boston Celtics basketball player who wasn't long for the latter:

Holy Cross legend Jack ‘The Shot’ Foley was aptly nicknamed

Jack “The Shot” Foley was a legend much longer than he was a basketball player.

Jack The Shot died of Parkinson’s disease Sunday in Barre at the age of 81.

Foley was raised in Worcester and set scoring records at Assumption Prep and Holy Cross. A skinny 6-foot-3-inch leaper, Jack The Shot was so good that Red Auerbach picked him in the second round of the 1962 NBA Draft, one round after selecting a kid from Ohio State named John Havlicek.

Bob Cousy, another Holy Cross man, was in the final year of his Hall of Fame career when Jack The Shot reported for duty with the world champion Celtics in December of 1962 (fulfillment of a Coast Guard obligation delayed Foley’s arrival in Boston). Cooz and fellow Crusader Tommy Heinsohn were happy to have another Cross man in the fold, but it was clear that Jack The Shot’s single skill would not be enough in the NBA.

Belichick Porn?

Shank said it, not me:

Special teams, short fields, turnovers, a knucklehead penalty? The Four Horsemen of Bill Belichick’s two-decade reign

It was a game only Amos Alonzo Stagg and William Stephen Belichick could love.

It was not a day of football artistry, not a good day for Cam Newton, not a good day for NFL officials, and not a good day if your fantasy fortunes hinge on big offense and over-the-top passing games.

But it was a win and the Hoodie no doubt loved it the way he loved every Army-Navy game in the 1960s. It was a day for special teams, goal-line stands, crucial turnovers, and stupidity by the opposition — the Four Horsemen of Belichick’s two-decade reign over the NFL.

Patriots-Cardinals won’t be the Face of the Franchise for the next edition of Madden NFL, but it was a special teams bacchanal. Belichick porn.

Nick Folk’s 50-yard field goal as the clock expired gave New England a 20-17 victory over the Cardinals and improved the Pats to 5-6. The Patriots don’t play in Foxborough again until after Christmas. They have upcoming trips to California (Chargers and Rams) and Florida (Dolphins). But in reality, we all know they aren’t going anywhere. They aren’t going to get gifts like this every week.

Other Than That, How Was The Game Shank?

It seems that Shank didn't like certain aspects of last night's game between the Rams and the Buccaneers:

Vomit-inducing: randy moss interviewing Gronk for MNF. Why not Deion Sanders and Antonio brown? Hate-watch is underway

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 24, 2020

I think we all know that Brady’s greatest weapon in 2020 is pass interference

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 24, 2020

Brady gets away with another fumble that’s not called. What a joke

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 24, 2020

'Hall' Guys

Today we turn to The CHB's favorite subject -- baseball -- and his favorite punching bags -- baseball players. 

Specifically, yet another Hall of Fame column column on the Hall of Fame. And, ad nauseam, a shot at David Ortiz for NOT being a talented ass like Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, Manny Ramirez and countless others who might well miss their opportunity at immortality.

"Big Papi has Hall of Fame numbers and is beloved by the baseball community, especially commissioner Rob Manfred. On the day Ortiz retired in 2016, Manfred flew to Boston and gave him what amounted to a presidential pardon, instructing Hall voters not to trust results of the 2003 baseball drug testing in which Ortiz came up positive."

Thankfully, this is just the lede of one of his lazy man "picked-up pieces" columns, so long-suffering readers need not suffer too long.

As we know, The CHB finds abhorrent any data more complicated than an RBI. So it's strange, but not out of form, that he takes yet another shot at the Red Sox, whose received low marks in a recent fan poll. 

Apparently, the Sox finished tied for last of the five major local pro sports teams (yes, the Revolution were included. Has soccer taken off yet?) for “most admired team for the way they run their organization.” But let's be real: Fans are fickle. The Red Sox had a shit year and people are down on the team. 

To further the point, when asked which team’s ownership has done the best job over the past year, the Celtics jumped 36 percentage points from a year ago, and the Pats fell 44 percentage points. 

These are constantly moving targets, like a Top 40 radio list. It's barely worth a mention, even in a Shaughnessy column.

This is the best part. In the same column where -- frontrunner that he is -- The CHB fetes Theo Epstein, calling him a future Hall of Famer, and credits him for the Sox World Series championship in 2018 (not a typo), he manages to excoriate him for being "a Moneyball, card-carrying member of Bill James Youth." 

So it's no surprise, a few grafs later, when he takes the the Red Sox to task for recruiting the wrong kind of staff: "... qualifications include 'advanced understanding of statistical methods or machine learning techniques, proficiency with modern database technologies including SQL, demonstrated experience with programming languages (e.g. R or Python).' So much for a veteran scout who can tell you when a young hitter has trouble with the curve."

Do you think he noticed that Theo's Bill James Youth methods led to (by Dan's count) three WS winners? 

How'd all those veteran scouts work out for the Red Sox between 1919 and 2003?

About as well as this column does.

Prediction Made

Shank seems pretty sure former Red Sox pitcher (and Shank bete noire) Curt Schilling will finally make it into the Baseball Hall of Fame this time around:

The ballot is out and Curt Schilling will be voted into the Hall of Fame when results are announced in January.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) November 17, 2020

This is the next to last year Curt can make the HOF. Like I mentioned last year, all Curt has to do is not say anything political from now until mid-January and he's a shoo-in, because Shank and a good swath of other HOF voters hate conservatives.

Pattern Detected

If you looked at Shank's New England Patriots columns this season you might notice a similarity in tone from those columns and this list:

Patriots fans season reactions

Wk 1: same ‘ole Pats
Wk 2: best loss ever
Wk 3: who needs Brady?
Wk 4: would’ve won w/ Cam
Wk 5: just gotta get healthy
Wk 6: wtf was that?
Wk 7: blow it up, have to tank
Wk 8: Cam is terrible, tank!
Wk 9: we won! But barely
Wk 10: playoff bound!

— Jordan Moore (@iJordanMoore) November 16, 2020

Via Boston Radio Watch.

A Sudden Change In Direction

Shank on the New England Patriots' playoff chances last week - It's dead, Jim. Shank on the New England Patriots' playoff chances last night - So you're saying there's a chance?

Midway through the third quarter, with the Patriots about to take a 23-10 lead on the Baltimore Ravens, NBC analyst Cris Collinsworth assessed the Patriots' prospects in the 2020 AFC East and uttered words that will be repeated 1 million times on Boston sports talk radio this week:

"They’re right back in it.''

Seriously.

The Patriots, who were 3-5 coming into “Sunday Night Football.”

The Patriots, who struggled mightily to beat the 0-8 Jets last week.

The Patriots, who have no Tom Brady, who had eight guys opt out, and are decimated with injuries.

Right . . . back . . . in it.

I’m not so sure about this. But after three weeks of hearing about Tanking for Trevor, New England’s narrative changed when the Pats beat the Ravens, 23-17, on a dark and stormy Sunday night at Gillette Stadium.

With seven games left in their season, the 4-5 Patriots trail the 7-3 Buffalo Bills by 2½ games. The Pats are two games behind the 6-3 Dolphins. But suddenly there is hope. Now we are going to hear about Tomato Can Houston (2-7) next weekend, December rematches with both Buffalo and Miami, and an expanded playoff format that rewards mediocrity.

From there we get a Rod Rust reference and a quote from Napoleon and the rest of the column is readable, devoid of the trademark snark and pessimissim.

DHL Dan CXV - Back On The Chaim Gang

Shank delivers another exciting Picked Up Pieces column, where he continues to bash Red Sox management (among other things):

Picked-up pieces while mourning the loss, and celebrating the life and times, of Tommy Heinsohn …

▪ Chaim Bloom is a devout man with the highest standards of integrity. Given the way he lives his life, was it hard for Bloom to hire a manager who got caught cheating?

“It was certainly something I had to wrestle with, that I had to think a lot about,” the Red Sox chief baseball officer acknowledged in a phone call Thursday night. “I didn’t take it lightly.

"I also came to the conclusion that it wasn’t something that should disqualify him. It wasn’t something that should be held so heavily against him that he should never work in the game again or that I would be unwilling to employ him again.”

It’s hard to believe rehiring Cora was Bloom’s call. Tuesday’s carefully crafted press conference didn’t convince me otherwise.

He also complains about Tom Brady, a new book titled "The Dynasty" because he thinks it was practically written by Bob Kraft, says more nice things about recently deceased Celtics legend Tommy Heinsohn, and thinks the college football season should be cancelled - right now.

The Tommy Heinsohn Column

Shank pays tribute to thr former Celtic, who passed on earlier this week.

No. 15 in the rafters. No. 1 in the heart of every Celtics fan.

Tommy Heinsohn. Boston Celtics. Impossible to separate, one and the same. He was a Hall of Fame player, coach, and broadcaster. If you are a New England sports fan under the age of 75, you have no memory of a time when Tommy Heinsohn was not part of the Celtics.

Tommy died Monday at the age of 86. It’s a huge loss. Bet he had some NBA draft tips he was ready to share with Danny Ainge and Brad Stevens. Tommy always had an opinion and never lost his fastball. Ask those smart young folks at NBC Sports Boston who remember a huge man in his mid-80s still driving himself to Burlington two or three times a week for lively, late-night analysis duty. Who does that at that age?

Alex Cora, Act II

Alex Cora was hired today as the next manager of the Boston Red Sox. Shank devotes a column to it:

A Red Sox fan’s dilemma: Does the return of Alex Cora make you happy or disappointed?

The Red Sox are bringing back Alex Cora to manage for the 2021 season.

How does this make you feel?

Just a reminder - Shank was on both sides of this one.

The Sox made it official Friday, anointing Cora as the 49th manager in team history.

As a Red Sox fan, does this make you happy or disappointed?

It’s been almost six weeks since the Sox fired Ron Roenicke after an uninspired, underperforming team finished in last place in the 60-game pandemic summer of 2020. In this span, Boston baseball boss Chaim Bloom has interviewed at least nine candidates, including Cora. None of the others were former big league managers. None of them were Alex Cora.

From there he goes on in that vein, with nary a hint of prior (dis)agreement.

...

Here’s hoping they play it straight. The Red Sox should just come out and tell everyone, "We believe in second chances. Alex Cora is our guy. He was our guy all along.''

Just say it, live with it, and move forward.

How long do you think the first serious losing streak of Cora's 2021 Red Sox season will need to be before Shank changes his tune once again?

DHL Dan CXIV - Truly Trivial

While waiting for another loss by the New England Patriots, Shank mails in a Presidents themed column:

My favorite sports trivia question of all time comes into play today.

As of this minute, there are four American institutions of higher learning that can claim 1. at least one student who went on to become President of the United States, and 2. at least one other student who went on to become a Super Bowl-winning quarterback.

Hint: Harvard is not one of the schools. Five US presidents were Harvard undergrads, but no former Crimson QB has won a Super Bowl ring. If Ryan Fitzpatrick somehow leads the Dolphins to a Lombardi Trophy in February, we can add Harvard to our list.

Yaaaaaaawn...

The Predictable Shaughnessy, A Continuing Series

It's not much of a surprise, is it?

For Patriots, Bills loss means it’s over: the division, the path to playoffs, and the dynasty

Off the bandwagon in what, three weeks? What a dismount this is!

Ghoulish. Halloween-worthy.

We have flat-lined this dynasty many times before today. We have announced that it is over for Bill Belichick and the Patriots. And we have been premature. Wronger than wrong.

This time it’s an easy call. There is no coming back from this one. A guy named Zimmer (DeForest Buckner was occupied at a game in Detroit) punched the ball out of Cam Newton’s hands in Orchard Park, N.Y., sealing a 24-21 Bills win and drawing the curtain on a 19-year run that included 17 playoff appearances, nine Super Bowls, and six Lombardi Trophies.

The Patriots are not very good this year, but until now, they still had a chance. They still had a path to the playoffs. A win against the Bills Sunday would have enabled them to pull to within 1½ games of Buffalo with nine to play. A win against the Jets next Monday would have made New England 4-4 and positioned the Pats to win the AFC East for the 12th straight season.

The game recap, as well as the season & dynasty burial, is the rest of the column.

DHL Dan CXIII - The Usual Crap

Shank's latest missive reads like a laundry list of complaints and a glaringly obvious setup:

Picked-up pieces while wondering if Billy Beane somehow comes out of all this being sports editor of the Globe …

▪ If the Red Sox are looking for the All-Time News Dump opportunity, Tuesday would be a good day to raise ticket prices, or perhaps bring back cheatin' Alex Cora.

As pointed out previously, Shank was for Alex Cora before he was against him.

▪ Have you given up on the Patriots for Sunday? Not me. This isn’t “We’re on to Cincinnati” in 2014, but the third-place Patriots will beat the first-place Bills in Orchard Park. I don’t care about injuries, or players putting their homes up for sale, or how bad the Patriots have looked the last two weeks.

The Bills forever will be the Bills, and Bill Belichick’s 35-5 record vs. Buffalo in the last 20 years distorts my vision. New England has won 17 of its last 20 games against Buffalo. Believe the history. For at least one more week.

The Patriots are three point underdogs on the road. I'm not optimistic about this game - if the Patriots played anything like they did last week it'll be another shitshow. I'm certain Shank's doing this rope-a-dope thing so he can take a searing dump on them after the game.

Read on for more of the same.

Kicking The Tomato Can Down The Road

Behold - the column Shank's been waiting to write for nearly twenty years:

Now it’s the Patriots who look like the Tomato Cans

First we get the 2020 Red Sox.

Now this.

Where is Trent Dilfer when you need him? It’s times like this we need a national pro football analyst to declare that the Patriots aren’t good anymore.

If football games were matched with calendar years, Sunday’s Patriot debacle vs. the San Francisco 49ers would be 2020.

Jimmy Garoppolo (Why Can’t We Get Players Like That?) and the Sons of Joe Montana demolished the once-proud Pats, 33-6, at Gillette. It was the most-lopsided home loss of the two-decade Bill Belichick era. This one was so bad that Patriot-loving CBS didn’t even give us the “let’s fawn all over Bob Kraft” shot from the owner’s box.

The glee in which he writes this column is obvious in each and every sentence, and I fully expect another column of the same ilk sometime this week.

Time To Shit On The Patriots

What do you get when you combine the New England Patriots losing record in 2020 with Shank's disingenouous nature? An awful column, that's what:

The 2020 Patriots have kept me in suspense — and I’m a fan of it all

Are you a sports fan or a Patriots fan?

Some of us are both, but Shank wants you to pick one or the other.

If you are a sports fan like me, you are loving this Patriots 2020 season, because from week to week you don’t know what’s going to happen.

You buying that line of bullshit?

If you are a Wilfork jersey-wearing Patriots fan, you are not loving this 2020 season … because from week to week you don’t know what’s going to happen. I know I am outnumbered. Don’t care. This is so much more fun.

Read on to see Shank revel in the first subpar start the Patriots have had in two decades.

Unforgettable

That's the theme for Shank's latest column as he goes back nearly half a century to recall some of the best stuff in World Series games.

My unforgettable World Series moments over the last 43 years

NOT IN ARLINGTON, Texas — There are a million great things about being a sportswriter (a million and one if you count reader comments that accompany online missives). Big events create a timeline of your life. It’s one of the things I’ll miss as I stay home while the Dodgers and Rays slug it out at Globe Life Field.

I can’t claim a streak like the Washington Post’s great Tom Boswell, who this week wrote about not attending the World Series for the first time since 1975. Bos covered 44 straight Fall Classics and 252 games. I have press passes from 30 World Series.

Some collectible moments:

▪ Game 6, 1977. Yankees-Dodgers. Yankee Stadium. Reggie Jackson hits three homers on three swings to clinch the deciding game. It’s my first Series as a reporter, and in a dangerously packed postgame clubhouse, I get squeezed into Bill White’s live ABC-TV interview with Mr. October.

It’s a Gumpesque moment that lives forever online, and I still get asked about it when the Yankees replay the scene on the stadium video board during rain delays.

A solid column; go check it out.

He's A Hard Man To Please

The Boston Red Sox have announed plans to spiffy up the area around Fenway Park. Our Man Shank can only respond with sarcasm:

Swell. The Liverpool Red Sox are relentless in efforts to improve the local baseball team. This is why fans love ownership. https://t.co/iiyn7CfRjU

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) October 19, 2020

DHL Dan CXII - Alex Cora Watch

Isn't it funny watching Shank ragging on the Red Sox for their role in the 2018 sign-stealing scandal and at the same time pine for the guy at the center of the whole thing?

Picked-up pieces while wondering whether the Patriots and Broncos will actually take the field at Gillette …

▪ News that the Red Sox are bringing back their entire coaching staff, minus Jerry Narron and Craig Bjornson, means one of two things: either Alex Cora is the “new” Red Sox manager or the Sox are going to hire a puppet to carry out the wishes of the nerds in the front office.

Here’s hoping it’s Cora. Meet-the-new-boss-same-as-the-old-boss makes a lot of sense for the Red Sox. There was a high level of comfort with Cora in the corner office. He worked well with ownership and baseball operations. Players loved him, especially Xander Bogaerts, Christian Vazquez, and Rafael Devers, who are the core of the team. Devers is simply a better ballplayer with Cora in the dugout.

Did Cora take a few liberties with the rule book? He did. But the Red Sox are in no position to stand on principle at this hour. They need a star and they need a proven commodity. Cora is both. With Cora as manager, the Sox also could bring back Ron Roenicke as bench coach. Not the worst idea.

Now that's convenient! I'm sure you know the grab bag of topics follow this one.

Baseball's Dying, But Not In The Way Shank Thinks

Shank takes note of the rather large numbers of former baseball players passing on:

Hearing that another baseball Hall of Famer died strikes me as a macabre metaphor for the sport I love.

Judging by the manner in which he writes about sports, I'll have to call bullshit here.

This has been a year of isolation, lockdown, fear, and death. The daily obits (“the Irish Sports Pages”) have been required, lengthy reading for old-timers like me. And October 2020 feels like the month of death.

In the darkness, we have a Cooperstown carnage. Joe Morgan died Sunday. Last week, it was Whitey Ford. The week before that, it was Bob Gibson. In September, Lou Brock. In August, Tom Seaver. In April, Al Kaline.

Shank goes on from there to chronicle what definitely looks like the many deaths of former MLB players, and it's sad to note. That said, the 'isolation, lockdown' that Shank bemoans is a completely, 100% self-inflicted wound by the honchos running MLB (and other sports, for that matter) by shortened seasons and especially the lack of crowds at the stadiums, making the game difficult, if not impossible, to watch.

Shank The Scold II - A Continuing Series

The National Football League seems to want to get on with professional life. Shank, naturally, has a problem with it:

How does the NFL continue its season as postponements and positive COVID-19 cases pile up?

Decades from now, football historians will talk about this NFL season the way folks today talk about Major League Baseball during World War II.

Wait, you mean the St. Louis Browns were in the 1944 World Series? And they played the Cardinals? And every game was played in the same ballpark?

People will look at the 2020 NFL season and wonder how it was that the Patriots postponed games three times in eight days in October. Why did they fly to Kansas City, play a game, and come home on the same night? Why did they start Brian Hoyer at quarterback? Why did they go almost a whole week without reporting for practice at Gillette Stadium?

Second guessing, one week after the fact - classic Shank. A ratioanl sort may ask - what good does a one or two day delay in playing games actually accomplish, other to than fuck things up? Why not simply remove players & personnal with positive tests from the team until they've quarantined? Does that make too much sense for the likes of Shank?

Skip the bullshit that comprises most of the rest Shank's column and let's cut to the chase:

The arrogant NFL needs to stop its presidential pretending that COVID-19 is a mere nuisance that might change the date of the sacred Super Bowl. It’s more than that. It’s about the health and safety of the players and their families. The virus has plans that Roger Goodell cannot control.

As I pointed out on Thursday and what this column still reflects - the Wuhan flu / coronavirus is precisely a nuisance. With the litany of reported positive tests I still have yet to read about any NFL player or staff member becoming sick or hositalized from the virus (fun fact - most people under 50 years of age don't get sick from this or any other virus unless they have contributing factors), and it bears repeating if it does happen, these sports chumps will be at DEFCON 1 calling for everything in the NFL to come to a screeching halt. Until that happens, it's rightly called a nuisance, much like Shank's presence at a press conference.

Does anyone remember 'duck and cover', the thing taught to schoolkids in K-12 during the 1960's and 1970's that in the case of a nuclear explosion you just hide under your desk and that's all it required to escape the devastation of a thermonuclear bomb going off? If you're within five miles of the blast radius your chance of going from 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit to 2,000 degrees Fahrenheit within a second is at 100%, and there isn't a fucking thing you can do about it, never mind being downwind from all that fallout. The lockdown measures and ensuing mentality reek of this similarly idiotic mindset. Even the WHO, after months of bullshitting the entire world, now finally admit that lockdowns should be a last resort because they cause serious economic damage in its wake. Might want to take that last one to heart, Shank & company...

A Love-Hate Relationship, Explained

If it weren't for the fact that there's always a losing team, Shank would have nothing to write about.

This pithy comment tells you almost all you need to know about the mindset of Dan Shaughnessy. Most people watch sports because they enjoy sports. Then there's this guy:

A different kind of love-hate relationship: Rooting against Tom Brady, LeBron James, the Lakers, and the Astros

The older I get, the longer this pandemic goes, the more I love to hate-watch.

How many of you are surprised at this revelation?

I’m not talking about CNN, Fox News, or the debates. That’s easy. Everybody hate-watches that stuff. I’m talking sports.

With the Bruins, Celtics, and Red Sox all done, and the Patriots barely playing once a week, the daily sports hate-watch has become my sustenance. It’s a reason to go on living. It’s one of my four major food groups.

Makes one wonder what the other three are...

Thursday night was hate-watch heaven. We got to see Tom Brady smiling through the pregame, telling everybody again how it was time to leave New England. Tom wanted warm weather and more fun. Swell.

Then we watched the Buccaneers commit a million penalties in a 20-19 loss to the Chicago Bears. Even better, we saw 2020 Tompa Tom looking like 2019 pouty Tom in New England. Brady yelled at his teammates. He was Mr. Frowny Face all night long. When it was over, he ran off the field without acknowledging the Bears’ Nick Foles, a pedestrian QB with a habit of beating Brady.

That's enough negative bullshit for me - go ahead and read the rest, if youre into self-flaggelation.

Shank The Scold, Probably A Continuing Series

Care to guess the latest Boston Globe nitwit to go into semi-hysterical overdrive over a single positive Wuhan coronavirus case?

The NFL knew the risks. But they let the Patriots play the Chiefs anyway

Just what are the risks, you may ask?

The NFL’s almighty “Shield” did not protect Stephon Gilmore and his family.

The risks were obvious when the Patriots decided to take two planes to Kansas City for Monday night’s game. One plane, flying out of Providence, carrying around 20 players and team personnel, was reserved for people who had been in close contact with Cam Newton, who tested positive for COVID-19 on Friday. Another aircraft, flying out of Logan, transported everybody else in the Patriots party, including Bill Belichick.

Gilmore, the NFL’s Defensive Player of the Year in 2019, was on the “higher-risk” flight, according to Patriots spokesman Stacey James. Gilmore tested positive for COVID-19 on Tuesday.

Watch the Watergate like accusatory tone that follows:

The NFL knew. The Patriots knew. They knew this might happen and they did it anyway. The NFL badly wanted the marquee matchup of the Patriots vs. the Chiefs, which is why a bunch of people who’d been exposed to a guy who tested positive were herded into airplanes, buses, and a locker room at Arrowhead Stadium. It was as if medical decisions in NFL headquarters were decided by the white coats at Walter Reed. Decisions were made on hope and TV ratings instead of science.

Science!

He keeps goping on in that vein for the majority of the rest of the column. At this point I cannot stand any further commentary on this issue from Boston Globe sportswriters who are too fucking stupid or arrogant to admit being exposed to this virus isn't a trip to Death Row; far from it in the overwhelming majority of cases, which is nearly all of them. As far as I can tell, few if any NFL players have come down as sick or hospitalized and you can bet your ass these same assclowns would trumpet such news far and wide if that happened in order to keep this charade going. That tells me right there it ain't happening.

If this douchebag continues to bleat about the Wuhan coronavirus, then fine - I'll continue to treat his commentary like the pinata-laden fodder it is.

Strange Days Indeed

Shank does the obligatory column after a Patriots loss, natch:

Just by playing, this game was as strange as it gets, and the Patriots actually had a chance to beat the Chiefs

The Patriots had a chance. After a preposterous couple of days, Bill Belichick’s masterful game plan and a stunning TD strike by relief quarterback Jarrett Stidham had the Patriots trailing by a mere 3 points (13-10) against the Super Bowl champs in the second minute of the fourth quarter.

And then it all went away in a hail of turnovers and missed opportunities as the Chiefs beat New England, 26-10, drawing the curtain on one of the strangest days in the history of the Patriots franchise.

Strange Patriots things follow, including the obligatory Clive Rush reference!

There have been some bizarre moment in the Patriots’ six decades. There was that time new coach Clive Rush was nearly electrocuted when he grabbed an microphone that was not grounded at an introductory press conference. There was the time the Patriots played a “home” game against the Jets in Birmingham, Ala., in 1968. There was the night in Miami when owner Billy Sullivan suspended coach Chuck Fairbanks hours before the Pats took the field at the Orange Bowl in 1978.

At least Shank generally supports the fact that they played the game, which is more than can be said about his fellow columnist Ben Volin, who wanted the game to be cancelled over two positive tests and seems to think being exposed to the Wuhan Flu virus is something akin to a death sentence. It is not. You know the rest - standard game recap and all that.

DHL Dan CXI - Pats Lose By 40!

Shank throws out the latest Picked Up Pieces column, and it's exactly what you've come to love and expect:

Picked-up pieces as the Lakers get ready to tie the Celtics with a 17th championship banner . . .

At least that one will have an asterisk next to it, given the chopped up & abbreviated season this year.

▪ This probably means they’ll lose by 40, but put me down as one who thinks the Patriots will beat the Chiefs Sunday.

Well, I thought a similar thing two weeks ago when the Patriots went to Seattle and played the Seahawks, but that game went down to the last play.

And now - a serious head case basketball player!

▪ More than ever, Kyrie Irving presents as a delusional fool. His latest beauty came when he went on Kevin Durant’s podcast, insulted ex-teammates in Cleveland and Boston, then gave new Nets coach Steve Nash a warm welcome, saying, "I don’t really see us as having a head coach . . . We don’t need someone to come in with their coaching philosophy and change everything we’re doing.''

On occasion, some people need a serious ass kicking.

The rest of the column is the usual grab bag of topics.

Much Like The Boston Globe, Then

Fresh off of burying the 2020 Boston Celtics, Shank sets his sights on the basement dwelling 2020 Boston Red Sox:

You know things are bad when the Red Sox are irrelevant

John Henry, Tom Werner, Sam Kennedy, and Chaim Bloom did the impossible this summer: The custodians of Boston’s once-beloved baseball franchise made the Red Sox disappear — not an easy trick considering the ballclub’s 120 years of institutional relevance.

The disappearance of the Red Sox had little to do with the coronavirus.

I'm not so sure about that. There were a lot of things that were thrown into kilter with the Wuhan virus, and spring training preparation, among other things, would suffer as a result. Granted the pitching staff looks like a complete shitshow but I'm not certain if that can be attributed strictly to poor GM decisions.

In some weird ways, COVID-19 probably helped the Red Sox. The pandemic allowed the Red Sox to give up on a season without hearing a single boo at Fenway Park. The Sox were allowed to tank in almost total anonymity. They were the falling tree in the proverbial forest; if a team tries to lose games in an empty ballpark with hardly anyone watching on TV . . . does it make a sound? Did it really happen?

Shank goes on from there to make his case, which is good to solid. Read on for more tales of the HMS Titantic 2020 Red Sox, or what's left of them.

Baby, You're No Good

After the Boston Celtics bow out of the Eastern Conference semifinals, Shank does the inevitable post mortem:

Let’s face it, the Celtics are not as good as they think they are

If you like basketball you know the right team won.

The Miami Heat, worthy in every way, beat the Celtics, 125-113, in Game 6 of the Eastern Conference finals Sunday night and will advance to the NBA Finals, where they’ll play LeBron James and the Los Angeles Lakers starting Wednesday night. LeBron vs. Pat Riley. Pretty sweet.

Let the record show that the 2019-20 Celtics in no way deserved to win this series. They gave it a pretty good run, but in the end they presented as front-running posers who folded whenever a game went into crunch time. Green Teamers should face the fact that these Celtics — who are fawned over and comport themselves as if they’ve already put some banners in the Garden rafters — have won nothing yet.

I didn't watch enough of the series to know one way or the other; it's really difficult for me to watch sports without fans in the stands. I do know that the Celtics had no answer to Miami center Bam Adebayo; he tore up the Celtics in Game 6.

Eruption

No, not that eruption! Shank's talking about last night's game, an emphatic Celtics Game 5 win over the Miami Heat:

Dream big, Celtics fans. The Green Team has done this before.

The Celtics overcame a 12-point deficit, scored 41 points in the third quarter, and beat the Miami Heat Friday, 121-108, to extend their Eastern Conference finals series to a sixth game. The Celtics are attempting to become the 14th NBA team to crawl out of a 3-1 series deficit.

Sunday will be one of the great sports TV days in Boston history. We’ve got Patriots-Raiders at 1, Tom Brady at 4:25, and Celtics-Heat in Game 6 at 7:30.

Shank “It’s back to basics,” Celtic coach Brad Stevens said after his team’s big second half. “We need to be better again in Game 6.”

This looks like a classic rope-a-dope - write nice things about the local teams when they're winning, then blindside them when they lose. The rest of the column is a stroll down Celtics memory lane and the standard game recap.

Shank's Back On The 2020 Red Sox Bandwagon

Awww - who am I shitting? Nobody!

Big market Red Sox succeeding in their quest to assemble anonymous no-star team #tampabaybythecharles https://t.co/o61N7cwjh2

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 25, 2020

This guy . . . https://t.co/scwgdsTyF3

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 25, 2020

Second Guessing, By Dan Shaughnessy

Here's our man Shank, playing Monday morning quarterback:

It got lost in the shuffle, but Pete Carroll's decision to allow a home run pass play instead of a run play on 3rd-and-one after 2-min warning is what allowed the Patriots a chance to win. This is almost as dumb as the slant pass on the 1 in Super Bowl 49.

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) September 21, 2020

Fortunately he does not do this all the time but in some respects I think this kind of commenting is irritating and pointless.

You Never Know

Shank sure called it last night:

With Bill Belichick opposing Pete Carroll, you just never know what will happen next

Sunday Night Lights.

Seahawks 35, Patriots, 30.

Clear eyes, heavy hearts, can’t win.

I don’t know about you, but I could watch these teams play one another for the next 14 weeks of the NFL regular season. It’s great fun to watch the 69-year-old Pete Carroll match wits with the 68-year-old Bill Belichick. The Seahawks have beaten the Patriots three times in four games since 2012, losing only the one that counted: Super Bowl XLIX.

This one went down to the final play of the night when Cam Newton was upended in front of the goal line as the clock ran out, denying the Patriots a last-second, come-from-behind victory. Down, 35-23, with less than three minutes to play, the Patriots seemed hopelessly out of this game, but roared back in the closing seconds — thanks in large part to yet another head-scratching play call by Carroll, who went for a home run when a 1-yard run would have iced the game after the two-minute warning.

I thought the Patriots were gonna get smoked, so even a loss in this situation's not too bad.