Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Dreamed Up Drama

The CHB is stuck. Stuck on the Red Sox. Stuck on John Henry. Stuck on the ownership's "arrogance." And most of all, he's stuck on the fans, whom he is decrying -- for the third time in nine days -- for showing up for sporting events on nice summer days.

OK, we get it: The CHB don't get stats. He somehow thinks Boston should pay $140 million or so to get a pitcher who would have to defy 110-plus years of baseball truisms and pitch better in the next decade than he did in the previous one in order to justify that payday. And, of course, should Lester inevitably fail to live up to that contract, Shaughnessy will be the first to jump all over him (and the fools who trusted him with that kind of coin).

And yes, we get it: The CHB don't get entertainment. He obviously never goes to blockbuster movies, the ones where you know how they will end before you step foot in the place and yet willingly overpay for an uncomfortable seat and stale popcorn in exchange for the right to be entertained for two or three hours.

In Shank's eyes, John Henry deserves neither respect nor patience. After all, three World Series crowns are nothing compared to the clear and obvious scheme the "carpetbagger" owners dreamed up to trick Red Sox fans out of their hard-earned money!

If The CHB ever actually talked to a fan, he would know we think Fenway is an outdated piece of crap, that the ticket prices are high (but not nearly as bad as the food prices, given its awfulness), and the parking is nonexistent. But we also know that 1) the Red Sox are entertainment, and even on the worst days nothing beats the old ballpark and 2) the management, unlike Shaughnessy, shows up every day and puts in its best effort. And that's worth something.

Oh, and there's those three World Series rings. ... How many has Shaughnessy won again?

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