Clunker

Shank's first Celtics playoff column focuses on how bad Kevin Durant sucked in Game 2:

Kevin Durant has another clunker against Celtics, and that’s a big problem for the Nets

He has played 14 NBA seasons, which is longer than Larry Bird played. He was in the NBA when Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, and Ray Allen were preaching Ubuntu and winning a championship. Kevin Durant has been around so long, he actually played for the Seattle SuperSonics.

But in Wednesday’s 114-107 loss to the Celtics, Durant — for the first time in his career — looked old.

“KD is in the Boston Celtics Correctional Facility,’’ tweeted Durant’s former Thunder teammate Kendrick Perkins. “The Celtics did the same damn thing they did in Game 1 and that’s get physical with KD and Punk’d him.’’

Great Celtics defense, or is it the beginning of the end here for Durant?

The One That Got Away

After jinxing the Boston Celtics' pursuit of Kevin Durant, Shank partially redeems himself by telling the story of that pursuit from Danny Ainge's perspective.

You saw the photograph of Tom Brady walking with Celtic folks Danny Ainge, Steve Pagliuca, Kelly Olynyk, and Marcus Smart in the Hamptons last Saturday. You heard about TB12 assisting the Celtics in their recruiting trip to Kevin Durant’s place on Long Island. You know the Celtics did not land the big fish, but you’re curious how all this went down.

Now the story can be told. According to Ainge, who spoke with the Globe from Utah Thursday morning, this is how the holiday weekend sports summit in the Hamptons unfolded:

It's worth reading in full, and you know we don't say it that much around here.

Dream On

Shank laments the signing of Kevin Durant by the Golden State Warriors:

No.

We (we? - ed.) got our hopes up when Al Horford signed with the Celtics, and we saw that photo of Tom Brady hanging with Kevin Durant and assorted Celtics in the Hamptons.

Then came recruiting pitches from David Ortiz and Julian Edelman. The impossible suddenly seemed possible, and we allowed ourselves to believe that the Celtics might actually land the greatest free agent in franchise history.

The Kiss Of Death

NBA superstar Kevin Durant becomes an unrestricted free agent in about nineteen hours, and Boston is on his list of franchises he will talk to in the upcoming days. Leave it to Shank to nuke any chance of the Celtics landing him, with The Big Lie saved for last:

As for the media, they are a bunch of softies. You may have heard that we are a tough media town, but that is no longer the case. Nobody wants any trouble anymore. You will never be criticized. The Green Teamers at Comcast will basically give you their entire network to use as your own. Just wait until you get your first Tommy Points.