DHL Dan CXXXVI - Amazing Grace

Shank, as he's wont to do, jumps all over David Ortiz for his, um, inconsistency:

Examining an ‘amazing’ statement by David Ortiz, and other thoughts

Picked-up pieces while watching the Little League World Series …

▪ After becoming the first MLB player elected to the Hall of Fame despite a positive steroid test — a test that baseball commissioner Rob Manfred suggested might have been a false positive — David Ortiz went on the offensive in the wake of Fernando Tatis Jr. testing positive for clostebol in mid-August.

“MLB needs to have some sort of regulations before they make public news like the one that happened to Tatis Jr.,” Ortiz told Dominican reporter Hector Gomez. “I think they haven’t handled this situation the right way. We can’t kill our product, we’re talking about an amazing player.”

It sounds like Ortiz is saying, “Sure, Tatis is using, but fans love him and he’s got great numbers, so let’s pretend nothing happened.”

I'm of the school of though that maybe Ortiz should just avoid giving opinions about this topic, in no small part because he gives folks like Shank free gas to pour on the fire. Then again, Shank would probably find a way to drag him for saying nothing.

A Small Case Of The Vapors

Shank doesn't appreciate part of David Ortiz's attire:

Mayor of Boston with David Ortiz wearing "Hoesmad" cap. https://t.co/HswyHSLUBr

— Dan Shaughnessy (@Dan_Shaughnessy) July 27, 2022

Neither does his fellow Globe scold and über-feminist columnist:

David Ortiz gets away with a lot in this city. My column via @GlobeOpinion. https://t.co/Yaj1bSVEqH via @BostonGlobe

— Joan Vennochi (@Joan_Vennochi) July 28, 2022

Question for Joan - are all women 'hoes'? That's how I'm reading that little column blurb.

The Immortal David Ortiz

Alternate Friends title - The One Where Shank Pretends To Like David Ortiz:

David Ortiz already achieved baseball immortality in Boston, and now the Hall of Fame has made it official

COOPERSTOWN, N. Y. — David Ortiz, a man who forever changed the fortunes of the Boston Red Sox, is a Baseball Hall of Famer.

Already immortal in Boston sports lore, the beloved Big Papi was welcomed to the Hall Sunday, serving as the walkoff speaker on a sun-splashed afternoon after six other 2022 inductees were feted by the baseball world.

“I will always be Boston,” Ortiz said toward the end of a 19-minute speech during which he alternated between English and Spanish. “I will always be there for you, Boston. I love you, Boston.”

In front of an estimated crowd of 35,000 gathered on the lawn and hills in the cradle of baseball, the 46-year-old Ortiz was enshrined along with 83-year-old Jim Kaat, 84-year-old Tony Oliva, and four baseball legends who have already passed: Gil Hodges, Buck O’Neil, Minnie Miñoso, and Bud Fowler (who actually grew up in Cooperstown). Big Papi’s 21-year-old daughter, Alex Veda, performed the national anthem before the induction program.

Contrast Shank's current near reverence of Big Papi with his attitude towards the latter nine years ago:

In 2013, I came off the DL and started hot. My first 20 games I was hitting like .400. And the reporter with the red jheri curl from The Boston Globe comes into the locker room says, “You’re from the Dominican. You’re older. You fit the profile of a steroid user. Don’t you think you’re a prime suspect?”

He’s saying this with a straight face. I had taken like 70 at-bats. Anybody can get hot and hit .400 with 70 at-bats. I was stunned. I’m like, I’m Dominican? I fit the profile? Are you kidding me?

I wanted to kill this guy. But you can’t react. That’s what they want. They want you to get angry so they can bury you. So I just smiled at him and asked for his address.

“Why do you want my address?” he said.

“Because I just got tested two days ago.” I said. “I’ll mail you the f****ing results.”

This is a reporter from my own city coming to my locker and telling me I’m too good, that I must be on some shit. I’m sitting there thinking, Man, I get tested 10 times a year and I’ve helped win this town two World Series titles in 2004 and 2007 and this guy who has never played a game of professional baseball in his life is telling me I’m a suspect.

My test was clean just like the other 8 or 9 tests that season. My batting average settled down to .300, because of course it did. I hit like 30 home runs and we won the World Series. Was that acceptable for the reporter? Were my numbers too high for a player from the Dominican? Should I have taken another blood test before popping the damn champagne?

He never apologized.

Red jheri curl - does Shank have some awesome nicknames, or what?

To restate the 2013 brouhaha with Shank and Ortiz with a bit more pith, let's turn it over to former DSW blogger Dave M (some emphasis mine):

In case you have not been following, last week Dan Shaughnessy quickly ripped into Ortiz after Ortiz’s name was leaked to be on “the list” of steroid users. Shaughnessy declared “David Ortiz lied to you. It seems safe to say that his entire Red Sox career is a lie.” Never mind that Shaughnessy never talked to Ortiz. Never mind that Shaughnessy did not know what Ortiz tested positive for. Never mind that Shaughnessy did not know there was a question of the validity of the test. Never mind that Ortiz did not know he even tested positive for anything. These things did not matter because Shaughnessy was in such a rush to punch out a column. There was no time for fact checking; there was no time for corroboration; there was nothing anyone would expect of a professional journalist. No, this was yellow journalism at its finest This was Shaughnessy…. ever ready to bury a hatchet in someone, any proof be damned.

...

Shaughnessy may eventually prove to be right about Ortiz. But that doesn’t matter. At the time he accused Ortiz of being a liar, he did not have the information to make the accusation. He did not seek the full story because he is lazy. He was ready to prematurely attack because he is vindictive. If anyone lied to us, it was Shaughnessy. If anything is tainted, it is his ethics. He is the one who should be suspended for a year. And he is not the only one – Massarotti and Ryan and many others also piled on. It was disgraceful and shameful.

I'd go with 'bearing false witness' mysef, but these are somewhat equivalent terms, or sins in the biblical lexicon. In the sense that Shank's changing his tune nowadays without any mea culpa, he's still lying / covering his ass.

Bonus - a Larry Bird reference!

A New Nickname, but Same Old Dan

The CHB has a new nickname!

Yes, it seems every generation of baseball player gifts Shank with a pet name. Back in 2000 Carl Everett coined the Curly Haired Boyfriend. And David Ortiz has now pegged him with a new one: "the reporter with the red jheri curl from the Boston Globe."

Awesome.

This shows up in today's ready, fire, aim column in which The CHB (sorry, the RJC) attacks Ortiz for having the temerity to complain about the dark cloud of suspicion that follows him ever since his name showed up on the Mitchell Report.

The CHB (sorry, old habits die hard!), of course, insists that, despite a lack of proof, that Big Papi must be cheating, because no man that is so beloved in Boston could possibly be on the level.

In a classic moment of irony, Shank writes that Ortiz's observations on the color and nature of The CHB's CH are incorrect and yet "these are not the errors or details that are bothersome in your essay."

The CHB cares about accuracy? Who knew?

The rest is a rehash of perhaps every conversation Shank ever had with Papi. In reading it (don't bother), one comes away with the impression that The RJC has been watching too much Court TV.


Larry Bird watch! (That's twice in three columns.)

His Column on Who's 'Best' is Like a Pile of No. 2

Years ago, I offered up my hypothesis of how The CHB prepares a column: He listens to talk radio for four or five hours, writes down the best lines, then builds a piece around that, with the central position to be 1) whatever is opposite of what the group-think is or 2) to hone in on (and attempt to bully) anyone who might possibly know more about sports than he does (which, of course, could be just about everyone).

And in today's piece, Shank confirms my observation. He writes: "If you were driving your car and somebody flipped on the radio and you heard people debating the merits of Carl Yastrzemski and David Ortiz, regarding their relative contributions to the Red Sox, how would you feel?"

Now, understand that the question was posed to Yaz himself. But also understand that this is exactly the conversation (if we can call the perpetually hyperventilating Tony Massarotti capable of such a thing) that took place on Felger and Mazz last week. So thank you, CHB, for being so transparent and predictable.

As for the answer, The CHB just as predictably gets it all wrong. Yaz had a lifetime OPS+ of 130 and a lifetime WAR of 78.2. A terrific leftfielder the earlier part of his career, he was actually five games worse than replacement level from 1969 on. Big Papi's career OPS+ is 139. But as to who is/was the better player? There's no question. Ortiz's career offensive WAR (47.2) is one-third offset by a negative defensive WAR of -18.6. Papi is roughly the same player as Jim Rice. This if it's a race between Papi and Yaz, it's Yaz, hands down. But if we are to include all previous Red Sox players, Jimmie Foxx and Manny Ramirez would come take the No. 2 and 3 slots, with the stunningly underrated Wade Boggs in the mix for the top five as well. A wiser columnist would have known this.